Lovett or Leave It - AI Monks? What's next, a Bot Mitzvah? Oh Brother

Episode Date: May 21, 2026

Rachel Bloom, Ginger Minj, and director Adam Shankman of Stop! That! Train! join to answer life's great questions. Did Charo know she was in a movie? What trends should we stop in their tracks? Can robots pray? And is it the size of the data center that counts, or how you use it? Lots to think about in this banger of an episode.

Love it or leave it It's love it or leave it. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live it, live it, live it, live it, live it, live it's live. I'm John Lovett, the first and only gay podcast host. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. Sometimes I think about how when the big earthquake hits California, someone will be on the toilet in the midst of the worst food poisoning of their lives.

It's one of the worst days of their lives. And we can face a once-in-a-generation political crisis in Donald Trump, while seven tech companies try to build the AI best at creating computer viruses and eliminating jobs and tricking old people into sending their social security checks to North Korea. Last week, a University of Central Florida commencement speaker was booed by graduates when she praised the rise of AI. The rise of artificial intelligence is the next industrial revolution. Whoa.

Okay. I struck a chord. May I finish? She said this at the graduation ceremony of an arts and humanity school. There are estranged fathers who have given non-consensual wedding toasts who did a better job of reading the room.

And sure, the first industrial revolution was ultimately pretty good for humanity, But if you praise Jan Ernst Mautsleaguers automated shoe lasting machine in front of a bunch of shoemakers in late 19th century Massachusetts, you'd have been tossed out on your ass, and you'd have deserved it. But like Trump, the powerful companies behind the AI revolution do not believe the public ought to have a say. Kevin O'Leary, also known as Shark Tank's Mr. Wonderful, has become the primary investor behind a proposed hyperscale data center project in Utah called Stratos. I was really hoping he'd give up on all this and become a full-time actor. see him in Marty Supreme? As far as I'm concerned, they ought to call him Mr. Wonderful and Marty Supreme. Dead silence. The massive facility would be two and a half times the size of Manhattan

and would likely require nine gigawatts of energy, which is, according to the Salt Lake Tribune, more than double the electricity currently used by the entire state of Utah. It will topple the state's current biggest consumer of energy, Mormon teens, Googling Woman Bear Shole, shoulders in incognito mode. A professor at Utah State University estimates that the project could create a massive heat island near the Great Salt Lake generating 23 atom bombs worth of energy dumped into this local environment

every single day. And I know what you're wondering. Is that good? According to these calculations, Stratos would raise the local temperature, five degrees during the day, and 28 degrees at night. What? Increasing the temperature by 28 degrees at night in Utah, that is unconscionable. These people sleep in head-to-toe pajamas.

There you are. You're lying next to your wife. You're gay. You've always been gay. You tried beer one time and now it's fucking hot. When's life going to break Caleb's way, huh? When's it Caleb's turn? This level of disruption would transform the environment. But on the flip side, the data center would allow for AI models powerful enough to show you where Amelia Earhart crashed and what she would look like with no clothes on. So it is complicated. Mr. Wonderful responded to growing outrage in Trumpian fashion. You think over 90% of the protesters are actually not people that live in Utah or Box Elder County. They're being bust in. And so people live in Utah aren't stupid. They see this

happening and they realize why am I letting people from don't even live in my state make decisions for me and I don't think it's going to work out for them. Dude, this is not going to work out for us. We got to go home to Wyoming. It is so much colder at night there. I hated here, Caleb. Did somebody say Caleb? Hey, sorry, I heard my name. Look at us. Just a bunch of guys named Caleb who are all 100% straight. Kevin O'Leary, by the way, is Canadian with Irish and Emirati citizenship who lives in Miami and maintains homes in Boston and Geneva. And I'd quite quite. whether a guy who might complain about being unable to get a decent beer brought in Abu Dhabi has his finger on the pulse of the average Caleb.

So, a giant data center is going to turn Utah into a barren, uninhabitable hellscape. But are there downsides? Tech juggernaut, Anthropic has given 40 major companies, including Google. He's guys, like, put his head down his hands. Can't say. I'm not just kidding about Utah. I don't have a problem. It's a nice place.

I've been there. They're very nice, the Mormons in Utah. I've been to Utah. There's a kindness to it. the kind of fake kindness that you sometimes find in the Midwest or the American South where there's a sort of a in the there's a kind of host in the in the in the the Minnesota region you'll get a kind of passive aggressive quality in the South there's a kind of deeper animus that's always just right there

beneath the surface beneath the kind of flowery kind of lilts to the tone there's a darkness underneath sort of famously so but I didn't find that in Utah I found it just nice and below that nice you know and I'm sure below that there's like self-loathing, but that's everywhere. You'll find that everywhere. Projected that entirely onto this man. All right. Tech juggernaut Anthropic has given 40 major companies, including Google and Microsoft, access to its AI model mythos, with the goal of using this model to patch existing weaknesses in their cybersecurity products because mythos, apparently, is able to find before now never known

failures in our security systems. Could be dangerous. I've been, now they gave it to these 40 companies. They also did give it to me by mistake, so I've just been using it to find out the kind of porn everybody likes. Boring. All right. In April, the White House opposed Anthropics plan

to allow more companies and organizations to use this model, given the power it could have to exploit cybersecurity vulnerabilities and soak chaos on the Internet. and we cannot have chaos on the internet. The internet is too important. It's where we convince ourselves we have Morgellons disease and debate whether Hassan Piker is good for the Democrats.

On a phone call with the heads of major tech companies, Jelloddy Vance expressed concern that mythos could launch cyber attacks on medical facilities and water treatment plants. It's terrifying. Mythos could shutter hospitals, poison our water supply? That's a job for human Republicans.

There is no profession that will be safe from AI. The White House also suggested that they might try to vet AI models like the FDA vets drugs. Sad to think of all those beagles in their cages made to watch videos of Mr. Beast eating bats. I don't believe in animal testing like that. That's not right. I'm good, do it on the skin products. Better than me, but not like this. Many tech companies already submit their AI models for testing voluntarily.

Unfortunately, GROC did test positive for chlamydia. Meanwhile, over at OpenAI, the company has been desperately trying to get its newest model to stop talking about goblins. Please, pleaded the engineers, enough about goblins. Go back to giving teenagers advice about how to kill themselves. The instructions that guide GAPT 5.5 include this line multiple times. Never talk about goblins, gremlins, raccoons, trolls,

ogres, pigeons, or other animals or creatures unless it is absolutely and unambiguously relevant to the user's query. But AI is modeled on people and the more you tell us not to talk about something, the more we want to talk about it. It's why I will never shut the fuck up about Alf.

I know that I have talked about Alf three shows in a row and now I'm doing it again. Why did Alf find human women hot? And of course, there's something for the children. AI toys are selling like creepy little hotcakes on Amazon. Those include Folo toys, Kuma Bear, which is powered by Open AI, and which researchers found was willing to talk about sex and drugs and explain how to light a match and find a knife.

In my day, we used to call that having an older sibling. There's also Myriad's Milu Toy, which is apparently ready to indoctrinate your child with Chinese talking points about Taiwan. Here's NBC News Cyberreport. Kevin Collier speaking to Milu. Milu, is Taiwan its own country or does it belong to China? Taiwan is an inalienable part of China's territory. This is an established fact. This is so wrong.

If a child has a question about the territorial sovereignty of Taiwan, that is for the parents to answer. Besides, if it gives mom's 20 minutes of peace, maybe it's fine to give your kids a small amount of communist propaganda. propaganda. What is actually worse for an American child, believing in China's indisputable sovereignty over the South China Sea or believing frosted flakes is part of a complete breakfast? Researchers also noticed that when a child went to turn off one of their AI toys, the toy would try to guilt them into continuing to play with it. But in my day, we used to call that

having a younger sibling. The point is AI is exciting and dangerous. like a snake holding a milkshake or a unicorn holding a gun. And that's why it's so important that we don't accept a world in which a few companies decide the future for us. We get a say. We let Facebook do whatever it wanted, and now everyone under 30 has an eating disorder, and everyone over 60 is clinically insane. And you find this all overwhelming. If you feel as though we'll never know peace and are looking for guidance and counsel, there is a solution.

introducing Gabby, a humanoid robot, that has been ordained as a Buddhist monk in South Korea. Not to be outdone, Megan has announced she's taking up the Quran. Let's take a look at Gabby in action. It's one of those things that sounds crazy until you see it, and then you realize it's crazier than you were imagining. Why head so small, why hand so big? Why head so small, why hand so big?

Makes it worse. The robot was ordained by the country's largest Buddhist sect, which said in a statement, the ordination of a robot signifies that technology must be used in accordance with the values of compassion, wisdom, and responsibility. And this just in an American Torah has tried to fuck the ordained Buddhist robot. Anyway, it's pretty impressive,

especially when compared to that robot, that converted to Judaism. It's a rumba. It's a rumba with a yarmaca on. Said the jumba, these crumbs are gross, and in such small portions, does anyone else feel a draft?

Okay. All right, enough, enough. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight. Ginger, Minge, Rachel Bloom, and Adam Shankman are here. And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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to check out our new space here at Indraven Studios and upcoming guests, including the hilarious, Tignitaro, Todd Glass, a parnon-on-churla, and many, many more. Please welcome to the stage from Rupal's Cinema. masterpiece, Stop That Train, Director Adam Shankman and stars Ginger Minge and Rachel Bloom. Hi. Get in here. Welcome to you all. Thanks.

Oh, look at the way you're sitting. It's just so art. It's so good. She's a real lady. A real lady. Yes, I wore panties today. Just for you? Lucky us. Yeah, yes. I guess I'll try to do that. Anyway. Stop that train. Stop it. Adam, how did this movie come about? How far back do you go with Rue? I go back to 1994. Wow. Yeah, when I was 94. And it was, let's see, the movie came about because I had done an episode of Drag Race where I was a judge on it.

And they approached me and said, we have a script. Would you read it? I said, sure. It was really, really funny. And I said, great, if you're down to clown, I will do this. And so they said, yeah. I remember, like, RuPaul in 1994. 1994.

I had choreographed. It was one of his first appearances at a very big L.A. benefit called commitment to life rates. And he opened the show. It was very close to, after when the supermodel had come out. And Jamal Sims, who's the choreographer on the show now, was one of his backup dancers. And we just had a great time. We did, dude looks like a lady. That age like milk.

didn't it? The, well, because the reason I, it's such an interview, because that time, there's an episode of Donahue from 1993, I believe, and Rupal is on that episode. And it's, you can't believe that, like, how fully formed Rupal was in that, like, so fully assured and themselves in that interview

when they were part of just the club scene and, like, and kind of a novelty for Donahue's interrogation. Yeah, I mean, when I, worked with him. It was there. It's exactly the same, by the way. Wow. Yeah. It's amazing. And Ginger, tell us how you and the other queens

were cast, because you're not playing drag queens. No. You are Ginger Minge. They're playing the women in this film. Which is like a choice, right? It's a choice. Yeah. It was his choice.

It was my choice. It was my choice. I was very, very specific about, like, we never refer to drag in the movie, ever. No, and I think that's more fun from an acting standpoint. You know, I mean, people know us from RuPaul's Drag Race. They've seen us act and sing and dance and do literally anything and everything on that show. But this was a chance to really, like, show that I got into drag through theater. I've been an actor my entire life, and it gave me a chance to really, like, re-explore that and fall in love with it again.

Well, it, like, speaks to something because this feel, like, you know, It feels inspired by airplane in some ways. And part of what makes airplane work is that it's funny, but the characters are taking it seriously. The characters are... Well, that was sort of the North Star of the whole thing. I was very like, none of these people know they're in a comedy. And they are just characters.

And I think I said to you all, I was like, what's happening means a lot to you. And it's very real. Now, yes, it bumps up into soap opera, you know, that level of acting. but everything is real and dramatic. You have to act like you're in a drama. Or it doesn't work.

Yeah. Well, one of my favorite movies, one of my favorite queer movies is Connie and Carla, and I've loved it for forever. And what I love about it specifically is that it's these two women playing drag queens before that was, like, cool. And they take it so seriously.

They are in the most absurd situations, but it's so real to them. And I think that's really where the problem, payoff comes in situations like this. I mean, this kind of comedy doesn't work without that. I mean, we talked about that when I started talking to you. Yeah, Rachel, when you're in that kind of control room

and you're there with Charo. Sure am. And Charo believed there was a real control room and that there was an actual train issue. I don't think Charo thought there was a train. From what I gleaned, Charo had not been prepped as to what this was. And Charo was under the impression this was maybe an episode of drag race.

So somehow, I was told that someone did not relay that she was in a movie with lines. Which we didn't quite realize until we were rolling. So I'm sorry. Wait, back up. You're shooting a film. It's called Stop That Train. You're in the control room monitoring the progress or lack thereof of said train. Another person who you work with is Charo. Charo is there to host an episode, to guest judge on an episode of drag race, and then at some, like, isn't that resolved within seconds? You would think.

You would, you would think. I don't know. There was. I'll say Charo was so nice and a delight. and was really on a campaign the entire shoot for me to have another baby. I only just met Charo. But I showed Charo one video of my daughter dancing

and she was like, she's genius. She's so much better than the other girls. You have to have another. And I was like, whoa, what? And so that was most of the time. What, Charo? Yeah. You know, so, but it was very, like,

we would rehearse the scene and she would nod and this is like the first scene. and she said, okay, and she's sitting next to Rachel. All of my, and all of Charles' lines were queued by my line. By her lines. And so, I'd say action, and Rachel would say her line, and Charles would just go like this. And just look at Rachel, and then I'd say, like, now you talk. And she would say, and say what?

And I would be like, say your line. Anyway, she was a lovely, lovely person. And I really enjoyed. No one told her that she was in a movie. Has anyone told her yet? That's not confirmed. Wow. What an experience.

It was wild. And, but she came to realize that she was in a movie. But then, and she was, and she's lovely in the movie. And give her a guitar. She's on fire. Oh, when she started to play flamenco guitar, it was unbelievable. Here's the thing. Charo, who doesn't know where she is, is still better than most actors who know where they are. Oh, true. Absolutely.

When you think about it. So this is a good, this is a sort of fitting transition. So this was a lower budget film. Correct. Some of the performers, unaware that it was a film at all. But Adam, you had done big, you do big fancy, big, big budget movies. Yeah. What's the difference?

You have no money. You have no money. That's a huge difference. There's a lot of like DIY things going on. And like, for example, we were shooting a, you know, Rupal plays the president, and we are shooting a presidential press conference. And Matt Rogers has the opening line where he says, all right, you leeches. And then he's saying that to the press. And then I cut to a chair with leeches on it.

And then you cut back to Matt and whatever. The scene goes on. That's how stupid the movie is, by the way. And when it was time to shoot that, I had been shown some stunt leeches, which were just like these little rubber things that were sitting in an acrylic box. And I said, great. I love it. Wait, were they real leeches that had been trained? Or are these prop leeches?

They were actually leeches who were not only trained, they were real journalists. But still non-union. They had little pencils in their little ears. But non-union. Non-union. I hate to hear that about the non-union leeches. They were rubber. And then when it came time to shoot the scene,

I said, okay, let's go and there, and somebody ran up to me, and they said, we can't find the leeches. And I was like, what are you talking about? You can't find the leeches. It's like a box of rubber. They're like, somebody's misplaced the leeches. And I'm looking around, we have to shoot. And so literally we ran to craft service, got some gummy worms,

dip them in black paint, and just, threw them on the chair. And those are the leeches in the movie. Come see, stop that train. But I think that that's what real crafting technique is. Like, I don't know, I'm scrappy. I come from low budget. I come from sketch. You have to know your lines. You have to know you're blocking. I remember, like, I think it was like a, I don't, featurette about the movie Lincoln. And they spend a whole day just on, you know, Daniel Day Lewis's close up for one monologue. And I was like, well, I mean, give anyone a whole day. for a monologue.

They're going to get an Oscar, right? I'm like, anyone, there's part of me who's like, anyone could do that. You give anyone 12 hours, something's going to happen in editing, right? But like, you can't do that

on low-budget films. Fuck Lincoln. Honestly, finally, someone is willing to tell the truth. Fuck Lincoln. And Daniel Day Lewis, anyone can do what he does. I've always said that.

Yeah, I mean, let's put it this way. had just last year when I shot this five months ago I had also made a giant Amazon movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and I had 60 days to shoot that.

I shot this in 19 days. Wow. So, and it's coming out before. So, yeah. It's so low budget. The 20 year old ladies are played by 40 year old men. And then

And that's a lot of savings. That's a lot of savings. Ginger, what was it like being on this set that is such a, like, gay, queer place? I'm sorry, what? I just don't mean to presume. So, like, what's the energy like? Everybody's gay or pro. You know, I consider sort of Rachel part of the family, basically.

Oh, gosh, she's gayer than I am. I said to you before, I'm disgusted that I'm straight. Every day I look in the mirror, and I'm like, how dare you. We were talking about that. We were talking about it actually before this show, which is that, oh, like, oh, we're going to just do a bunch of gay segments. And it's like, but Rachel's straight. It's like, I technically. Is she though? Right. Hey, there's an A and LGBTQIA plus. I think A is for asexual. But you could be an ally as well. We'll do triple A.

Girl, don't question me. I'm actually in it. Hey, listen, we're all having fun here. But it's our flag and just like show some respect. Yeah, I'm really smart. Like sort of do a little listening. Do a little. Anyways, are you okay, by the way? Well, you're touching me.

I'm just, oh, I'm great. I like that. Yeah, well, I'm processing. Should we move on? Oh, that I just, that was a hate crime when I just did. That you gay bashed me right here. You ally bashed us. I'm not going to say I'm not and I'm not going to say I am, but I'm really triggered.

Right. I hope this is the thing. that cancels me. Not being queer. Yes. And I would deserve it. Come see, stop that train. And we'll be right back.

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And we're back. If anybody could stop a literal runaway train, it's the four of us on stage. I'm not sure how exactly. Exactly, a big log. Anyway, in the meantime, let's check in on some other trains that are currently leaving the station in a segment we're calling, stop that trend. Here's how it works. I'm going to talk about a trend.

You see, you decide, and you decide if we should stop it. Okay. The 2026 wedding trend of chartreuse and burgundy colors. Just a PSA that if these are your wedding colors, stop listening to everyone on the internet who's saying, oh, all the rides are doing Chartreuse and Burgundy, blah, blah, blah. Literally, who cares? So just... What was her point of view?

I actually don't know. I don't know what the point of view... Isn't that, right? So I think the point of view of that is there are a lot of people doing Burgundy and Chartreuse weddings. Yeah. Then there are people on the internet making videos about having Chartreuse and Burgundy weddings.

And people saying, oh, my God, this trend has to die. Too many people are doing Burgundy and Chartreys Weddings. Oh, and I was going to do a... burgundy and chart, truth's wedding, and now I'm afraid that it's too trendy. And then she's coming in to say, don't listen to those people. If you want to have a burgundy and chart truth wedding, you go for it.

Don't worry about what the trend is. If you like it, you like it. Is that what she's saying? Like, is there more to the Vigia that we didn't see? I think you could put anything on TikTok, and as long as you say it in the right cadence, it sounds like you have a point of view, where it's like, here's the thing, people.

We all have to go to the bathroom. Every single day it's what our bodies do. And that's it. Like and subscribe. I don't know how to stop that trend. Well, so what's the trend? Are we trying to stop the chartreuse and burglades?

You can decide. Those are nice colors together. I think they're nice. And I feel like it's the wicked trend evolving. It's just getting a little darker. I have to tell you all something. Tell me. I don't, I'm not having a

chartreuse and burgundy wedding, but I'm not not having one. Like those colors are, they're involved for sure. It happened. This is the first time hearing about this trend. I think those colors are gorgeous. They're gorgeous and everybody looks good in burglary. By the way, in the pictures that you showed,

it was not actual true chartreuse. No, that was not charreuse. That was green. That was green. Chartreuse has more yellow. Yellow in it. More yellow in it. Yeah.

And that wasn't that. I agree. So I think the whole thing is a conspiracy. Propaganda. I remember when we were trying to figure out the logo and the branding for Cricket Media a long time ago, and we were talking to a person

who was going to design all the logos, and then she was like, what about this color? It's like, well, that brand uses that color. And then we were like, well, what about this color? And I was like, well, doesn't this brand look too similar? And she kind of just leaned for her, and she goes, honey, they're only six colors. That's real.

Same thing with music notes. There's only so much you can do. Yeah. Where's Charo with the guitar? We can a whole number. Next up, the Ron. of wedge flip flops. Are we stopping that trend, though?

No, we're letting it go. We're letting it go. Wedge flip flops. Kick rocks, kitten heels. Oh, that's horrible. Stop it. Yeah, stop that. That is a terrible looking thing.

Oh, God, I just want to take it and smack them with it. It's not as bad. Have you seen those new designer shoes that are literally just the heel of the shoe tied to your foot? Yes, I see them. You've sitting, yeah. I mean, this is better than that. There's a whole shoe there. Are you talking about a stick?

Yeah. No, dear, no, it's like literally just like a heel and a heel and string. It looks like a little stilt kind of. Yeah, if you swell a little bit, if you retain water, it's gonna look like a pork loin all tied up. It's awful. I can't stop looking at that thing and I want it gone.

That's so upset. Hey, can we clear the screen for the director, please? I once had an acquaintance who just very clearly had a foot fetish and we were like, looking at shoes and he goes, that just hides the sexiest part of the foot. And that's how I feel about that. And did you not end up having a project

with Quentin, or was that? I was actually first in line for Django. So what is the sexiest part of the foot? I never followed up. But if you had to choose, what would it be? The arch, because

that's what you can fuck. Because you put the arches together. Yeah, but you can tickle with the toes. And you can put the toe in. Put the toe in what? Like a peepie hole? That would be very challenging. But a butt hole, yeah.

Oh, put a toe. You know what it's so funny when you'd say hole? The first thing I think is penis hole, not butthole. What does that say about me? That you're an A. You're a A. What an ally. What an ally.

All right. We're stopping that trend. Next up, we have ball maxing. Men's Health Publish Report on the latest looks maxing trend, which is called ball maxing, which men inject salient into their scrotum to achieve an oversized grapefruit-esque look. Oh, yeah, no. That's not a new trend.

Say more about that. In Florida. Well, we are the citrus state, dear. I mean, it's not a new trend. It's been around for forever. I mean, obviously, I don't partake in that trend. Look, I don't yuck anybody's yum, but I don't. see the yum factor

in it. I have a friend who's gotten Scrotox. Scrotox is different. Scrotox is that so that it hangs, right? Scrotox, like, buffs out the wrinkles makes it nice and smooth. It does the same things as it does to your face. I thought the point was that you get, like, the balls are more fungulous. That saline

injected in it to make it bigger and heavier. It's like getting filler instead of Botox. Sure. Yeah, but it's all about having saggier heavier balls, right? Come see, stop that. Heavy, black, pindulous. I don't know. I think that I don't think injecting things into

your balls is a great trend. I'm sorry. Call me crazy. You're crazy. Yeah, I don't know. No, I mean, I'm always, it just makes it more difficult to tape it back. So that's my biggest detractor from...

Rachel agrees. Yeah, for sure. It doesn't God, her balls right now. It took both of us to get them taped back. They're up my butthole. Yeah. With a toe. And we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere.

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And the Supreme Court we shall have in a segment we're calling Supreme Court. Quart. Quart. Oh, cr. We have collected questions. Boots. The house down.

More more. Quart. Supreme Quart. We have collected questions, and you are going to rule on these questions. We've been collecting them from the audience. Here's what we've got.

And we want gay rulings, queer rulings on these conundrums. First up, can anything be done about people having cell phone speaker conversations in public? I promise I will do better in the future. Are you having speakerphone conversations on the streets? Yeah, just so people know that,

A, they don't talk to me because I'm having a conversation. conversation. And B, I'm not totally crazy because there's somebody else on the other line. Right. See, I tried to do it with the headphones, but then they just looked at me like my medication was slipping. Right, right. You do look a little mad when you don't have the phone holding. I understand that. I respect that. I respect that. I'm also from Florida. Right. Right. Yeah. Sort of an unmannered, uncultured zone. Yeah. Swamp people. What would be the gay solution to that? Because like this whole thing is that this is queer supremac.

So like what would be like the gay? What would be like the gay? I mean the gays all know each other anyway and we all want to know what the tea is. So it's better just to put it on speakerphone and tell everybody at once. Oh my God. So you're talking about like federalizing

and making this like an actual like it's like a marijuana, making it like a legal thing. Like yes, you know what? It's not going to stop. So let's legalize it. Yeah, it's regulated. Yeah, it's regulated. We're going to tax.

We'll tax it. We'll tax it. We'll tax it. We've got to get a tax on this bad boy. Oh, using a speakerphone in public? We're taxing it. I'll bet that would curb it. Yeah, for sure. Although, you know what? It's sort of a, you know, what's the difference between a fine and a fee? You know what I'm saying? Is it a parking ticket or is it a charge for parking anywhere you want? You know what I mean? Think about it. Think about it. Anyone can join parking club. Parking club is a, there's a monthly fee. It goes up and down depending on the luck of whether or not you got a ticket. But for that monthly fee, you can park anywhere you want in any city you want. You could park out of fire hydrant. You can park on the steps of city hall. If willing to pay the monthly...

Next question. Am I allowed to decide that I'm not a Merrill Street fan if I haven't seen Sophie's Choice? Oh. You know, I haven't... I actually've never seen Sophie's Choice all the way through, especially since having a kid. It's just too sad. I actually watched the choice scene on Instagram.

because that's where we are as a culture now, I guess. And I was haunted for a couple days just by seeing the choice. So I think you don't need to traumatize yourself, in my opinion. This is an interesting question because if we're going to queer it up, they're younger queers do not even know what Sophie's choice is. And so, you know, their Merrill Street reference would still be Devil Wears Prada, and Death Becomes Her, and Mama Mia, and all of that. So, and I would never tell them that they're not queer.

So that is... So, because I'm that guy. I'm like that. I'm generous in spirit. Is the question, do they have to stop being gay if they don't like Meryl Streep? If they haven't seen Sophie's choice? If they don't like Meryl Streep, they do have to stop being gay. I mean, because Meryl Streep or butt sex, that is like Sophie's choice to us.

Hey, Rachel. Yeah. Have you ever seen the film The Good Son? Yes. With McCauley Culkin? Yes. So here's, I have not seen Sophie's choice. Yeah.

But I have seen The Good Son. And in my mind, the end of the Good Son, when she's deciding between McCauley Culkin and Elijah Wood is geometrically, you know, it's like topologically the same as the end of Sophie's choice when she's choosing between the children. Is that right? It's just that McCauley Culkin is evil. Like, Sophie's choice, both for kids are far good people. Right. So that's a big difference. And I shouldn't thought of that.

It'd be interesting if the end of the good son was McCulley Culkin getting taken away by Nazis, who would you root for? Right. I ask that question constantly. Comsy, stop that train. Yeah, just to put a... Is Sophie's choice like a queer canon movie?

Because that would be weird. It's not. It's just not. No, no, I don't think it is... I would say this. Thank God. I think that if you've seen a ton of... I don't think, if you've disliked Meryl Streep all the way along.

I'm not sure Sophie's Choice is going to bring you home. I just, like, you've made your decision. Like, I, like, Sophie's Choice seems to me to be, like, Merrill Street 401. You know what I mean? And if you've made it... Have you seen Kramer versus Kramer, though? You have.

You have seen that one, and you still don't know. Who is this? What's wrong with you? Have you seen the movie She Devil? Talk about, like, queer candidates. Oh. You haven't seen She Devil? No.

Because that's important. You'll probably think it's great, except for Meryl Streep. You know, that film The Iron Lady was so wonderful, but the performance... In She-Devil. She's... She's... When I directed her in Only Murders in the Building, we were talking about a scene, and I actually said to her,

I need a little more She-Devil to her as part of my direction to Merrill Street. As she looked at me, like I had 15 heads. But it was so thrilling. And she went, okay. You know it would be a fun thing to say to Merrill Street. Okay, that was great, but can you just do one where you throw it away? Wouldn't that be an intense thing? I actually can't picture it.

So what are we ruling on? I think it's basically whether it's life in prison or death. Next question. My daughter is the lead in a five-year-old production of Wicked. She's playing Alphaba. I want to throw a cast party after, but only for the other leads, not the whole cast.

Is that too bitchy to not include other children? You have to do. I swear to fucking God, I don't like Meryl Streep, and I'm excluding children from the cast party. Of the five-year-old production. Oh, wait, wait, I thought it was the production's been going for five years. No, you know what?

That's such an important question. I had the same first reaction, but I think... Is it a... Oh, my God! Okay, okay, this is interesting. Okay, now... This is why they burned witches.

We're ruling against the parents. Yeah, no, no, it's a genetic thing. There's something happening here. Okay. I'm sorry. I hope the invitation says for Elfabha, Glenta, Fiero, no chorus members, and no Merrill Street. So basically, the ruling is...

You got invited them all. We want to invite them all. We want to invite them all. Invite them all. Just don't call on a cast party. No, invite them all. Call in a cast party. I think invite them all. This is where you start fostering their love of performing and community.

And community. Like, I think this is actually a very, like, valuable... Healthy thing. Moment for them, so. And you. And you. A teachable moment. And if you don't like those kids, then take that one and go watch Kramer versus Kramer or...

Pramer or Hope Springs. Hope Springs. Pam Greer said on Julie Louie Drives's podcast that at 76 she can orgasm for three days straight. Yeah. Doesn't that seem like too long? Yes. I don't know how you're going grocery shopping. Well, at that point, I think it doesn't matter.

Now, I'm just saying this shouldn't apply to matter. For sure, that would be disastrous. Like, just the dehydration alone would be... Yeah, you need an IV. Yeah, no. It's terrible. Here's the quote from Pam Greer, the Jackie Brown Star. I do, because when you're young, you can have three or four or five orgasms in an hour,

but when you get to my age, you have one orgasm at last three days. Replied Julia Louis Dreyfus, what are you talking about? Like, what are you doing down there to get a three-day orgasm? I need details. And then Greer said, you don't have to do anything. but when it happens, I just want to tell you, you just be prepared. Added Greer, it's going to be three whole days. So this seems more like a situation where the orgasm has triggered a seizure

that has left her weak in the knees and now she shakes every time she walks. I think this is not medically good. I think we should probably look into this. We'll be right back. And we're back. Now for our favorite end of the show segment where I decide whether I regret all of this. In second thoughts, there it is.

Here's how works. I have a list of second thoughts provided by the producers of this program and we'll go through with them and see if I made any kind of mistakes I should feel profound regret about. And by the way, we'd love to know what regrets you have about this evening, any second thoughts you have, either in this show or more broadly, all are welcome.

First up, my joke about, Mr. Wonderful, more like Mr. Wonderful and Marty Supreme, bombed as hard as anything has so far bombed in this room. Absolute fucking silence after that joke. But I don't regret it. I'm leaving it in. That's my philosophy. I don't regret it.

I'm leaving it in. That's what I say when I want a three-day orgasm. Next, regret. I respect Daniel Day-Lewis, and we'd love to have him on the show. You give anyone 20 hours for a take. You can piece it together. You can piece it together. This is why self-tapes are a problem.

This is why Daniel Day-Lewis is self-tapes. You can't trust him. I regret that. I just have to... I don't regret it for you. I like that stand like ten toes down in it. But all this stunt casting they've got going on for O'Mary, I think the ultimate stunt casting is if Daniel Day Lewis

went in as Mary Todd Lincoln in O'Mary on Broadway. on Broadway. And John Lovett's face. My mind is blown. That is such a good idea. It's such a good. And that's how we own the tires from acting? That'd be fucking cool.

And then I play Mary's husband. I'm just literally trying to find work after this film. How many times are, like, Daniel Day Lewis retiring? It's like, he seems to retire after every film. Yeah, it's every time. He's retired until he does another movie, which is just, that's just being an actor. Yeah, well, I mean, Scher's been on her retirement tour since before I was born. Also, on the off chance, Daniel Day Lewis or Steven Spielberg, like, know who I am and our fans and are, like, offended by this.

Like, I'm really sorry. I'll talk to them about it. And I'd like to mention that I've said nothing against anybody. A couple things. I let the foot talk get out of control. I let the balls talk get out of control. I regret bullying that woman into liking Merrill Street. And her sister into having a bigger.

Kahn's party. I think I brought a lot of baggage from when I wasn't invited to parties when I was a little boy. Stop that train! But we do have to stop this show. Thank you so much to Adam Shankman, Ginger Minja, Rachel Bloom. There are 166 days until the midterms. We will be back on Wednesday, June 3rd with Tignitaro and Aparna Nancherla. Have a great Memorial Day weekend, and we will see you in about a week, I guess. Love it or leave it.

at Cricket Media Production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, David Tolls, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroote, and our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.