Lovett or Leave It - All Quiet on the Western Omelet
Episode Date: October 12, 2024This week, Kamala talks to Howard Stern, Trump talks to himself, and the Supreme Court talks in circles. Representative Sydney Kamlager-Dove watches Congress like a hawk. Mark Duplass and Zainab Johns...on surf the chopping waters of the internet, and we steer Kamala Harris’s ship to our favorite pop culture ports. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast. Support disaster relief efforts for Hurricane Helene & Milton votesaveamerica.com/heleneHelp elect climate champions votesaveamerica.com/climate/
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Hello Los Angeles.
Welcome to Love It or Leave It.
We are 19 days away from Halloween, which means we are 20 days away from a Last Night
Was Fun text from someone named Hot Beetlejuice, parentheses, tall in your phone.
Tonight on the show, Congresswoman Sydney Kappeliger Dove stops by
to talk about life on Capitol Hell.
Zaynab Johnson is back and Mark Duplass is here to get caught in the World Wide Web.
World Wide Web? Is that how it is?
Wide World Web.
World Wide Web? That sucks. Oh, like World Wide Web. World Wide Web? That sucks.
Oh, like World Wide Web.
Then we wrap it all up with a spin of a wheel.
What wheel? We'll see.
But first, let's get into it.
What a week.
Yeah, that's right.
Kamala Harris's media blitz continues.
On Tuesday, she sat down for an interview with Howard Stern.
To kick it off, she made Tim Walz write a Sibian. And trust me, it got weird.
I am only telling you that joke because when I saw it, I had to Google Sibian.
Which I realized too late is not some kind of mythological horse.
Harris also discussed her love of Formula One racing, special case serial, and going to see you two at the Sphere.
Oh my God, have you been to the Sphere?
I'm troubled by it.
Well, let me just say basically,
everyone should go in with a clear head.
You mean don't be high.
Correct. Right.
You can take the woman out of the prosecutor's office.
Seeing you two at the Sphere sober couldn't be me.
It makes me anxious just thinking about it.
This is the biggest man-made object on earth in which a human being can experience claustrophobia.
What is the Sphere?
Halfway through the interview, Stern told Harris that she had his vote.
I don't even understand how this election is close.
And yes, I'm voting for you, but I would also vote for that wall over there.
Rather than a guy who says he doesn't support Ukraine, wouldn't get on that stage with you
and say I saw Ukraine this is what
and why do my fellow Americans want this kind of chaos overseas if you would have
told me eight years ago that Howard Stern would vote for Kamala Harris
because of Ukraine I would have said listen to me I'm not the original love
it I'm also from the future like you I was trying to stop Trump but then I
honked at 17 year old Phineas crossing the street so now the Barbie movie didn't
happen and then I tried to tell Nancy Pelosi to tell Hillary to go to Wisconsin,
but all she did was pump me for info on high cap stocks.
But there's still time to stop Trump.
There's still time to stop him from being elected.
All we have to do is, ah, my heart, no.
Tell my mother I got her a magnet on my trip.
All right.
Then on Wednesday night, Harris cracked open a Miller High Life with Stephen Colbert.
But elections I think are won on vibes because one of the old saws is they just want somebody
they can have a beer with.
So would you like to have a beer with me so I can tell people what that's like?
Okay, the last time I had beer was at a baseball game with Doug.
Okay, so cheers.
There you go.
Cheers. There you go. The Okay, cheers. There you go. There you go.
The champagne and beers.
The champagne and beers.
There you go.
Doug wasn't allowed to have any beer though,
it gives him the zoomies.
The last time I had a beer was at a normal time.
The normal classic beer time.
Later in the interview, when asked about Trump's 2020 election loss, Harris said this.
You lost manufacturing, you lost automotive plants, you lost the election.
What does that make you?
A loser.
This is what when somebody at my rally said, I thought it was funny.
It's accurate.
It's accurate. This is what happens somebody at my rally said, I thought it was funny. It's accurate.
It's accurate.
This is what happens when I drink beer.
Same.
When I have two sips of beer,
I always start down my list of talking points.
Just goofy.
She's goofy.
That's part of it.
She's goofy and we love her.
And that's part of it.
Meanwhile, when asked on The View if she would have done anything differently from Biden
over the last few years, she replied,
There is not a thing that comes to mind.
After pausing for a moment, Harris said,
I would maybe have handed the ice cream cone to a staffer before answering the Gaza question.
Then after another beat, Kamala added,
I also would have adopted one or two more untrainable killing dogs.
Louisiana Senator John Kennedy this week attacked Kamala Harris for daring to speak the word
tampons at a time like this.
The last couple of days the vice president goes on some show called call her daddy or
call your daddy or who's your daddy or something. Call me daddy. I like
who's your daddy better. Um, and, and, and among other things, she's talking about, uh,
about, about tampons. You know, the people in Appalachia right now, they'll give a function
about tampons.
Just don't forget women are women and men are people.
It's part of the worldview.
But also give him a break.
He's from a generation of men who were taught to treat tampons
like they were radioactive, but in a gay way.
Like they come with period blood already on them.
I think even now, if we still treat tampons like they're illicit,
if men needed tampons, there'd be tampons everywhere.
There'd also be blood everywhere.
It would be a real mess, honestly. So it's probably for the best that they don't, like they're illicit. If men needed tampons, there'd be tampons everywhere. There'd also be blood everywhere.
It would be a real mess, honestly,
so it's probably for the best that they don't,
except for trans men who are trained as women,
so they're fine.
Anyway, Jews invented hurricanes.
Or did they?
That's right.
This week, Marjorie Taylor Greene continued
to spread the conspiracy theory
that hurricanes are actually being directed
by Democrats and or Jews
Which is ridiculous. It's climate change and not a conspiracy causing this next super storm
Hurricane Tova Feldstein. Oh, no
Right on the heels of hurricane slo-mo
Can you believe the weather we're having?
President Biden denounced MTG's dangerous delusions to the press.
Now the claims are getting even more bizarre.
Congressman Marjorie Taylor Greene, a congressman from Georgia, is now saying the federal government
is literally controlling the weather.
We're controlling the weather.
It's beyond ridiculous.
It's beyond ridiculous.
It's gotta stop.
In moments like this, there are no red or blue states.
Yes, in our climate change future,
there are no red states and blue states.
There will only be dry states and wet states,
and eventually fire states and flood states,
and then finally, just Michigan.
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis took a moment to denounce conspiracy theories.
Be careful about the nonsense that gets circulated and just know that the more titillating it
is the more likely somebody is making money off of it and they don't really give a damn
about the well-being and safety of the people that are actually in the eye of this storm.
Out of the governor, this applies to hurricane-related posts only woke liberal math teachers are
trying to turn your children trans for pedophile reasons.
DeSantis' words were carefully chosen to leave room for interpretation, specifically
the interpretation that he's still a prick, because DeSantis' spokesperson Christine
Puchat warned against online mince information while continuing to disparage actual news
outlets, writing,
If you wouldn't believe a New York Times story based solely on anonymous sources, and I wouldn't,
you shouldn't believe engagement-based posts like these that make outlandish claims without
evidence.
Yeah, man, totally.
The New York Times reporting on your disaster of a campaign and Patriot 69 posting an AI-rendered
image of Donald Trump putting sandbags around a church are the same thing. You can't trust the times, you can't trust the tweets,
you can only trust me, Christine Pasha, a professional liar.
Pasha.
That's a cool name. Meanwhile...
LAUGHTER
Meanwhile, according to a new book by Bob Woodward
that comes out next week, Donald Trump secretly sent
Russian President Vladimir Putin a supply of COVID tests for his personal use in 2020 as the U.S. struggled with a test shortage.
Interesting. So Trump's love language is GIFs.
Putin told Trump to keep quiet, saying,
This is real. I don't want you to tell anybody because people will get mad at you, not me.
Weird. That's exactly what I told Tommy
the one time we kissed, I mean, didn't kiss.
Leave this in.
Trump has also reportedly kept in touch with Putin
after leaving the White House,
in one instance ordering an aide away
from his Mar-a-Lago office in early 2024
so that he could talk to him on the phone.
And yet you hang up first.
Overall, it was a week of non-stop bizarre Trump ramblings.
Here's the former president at a rally in Scranton, Pennsylvania on Wednesday,
imagining one of his supporters blowing up in a car accident.
They want to go now hydrogen. They want a hydrogen car. You know what the problem is?
When they blow up, you are unrecognizable.
If this beautiful young woman is in the car driving, and the hydrogen car, if it blows
up, you are unrecognizable.
You have a nice pink side.
Stand up, let me see.
Oh, I like her.
I like her. I like her.
I will not allow her to go into a hydrogen car.
The race is tied.
Can I get in the car? I'd like to get in the car.
While visiting the Detroit Economic Club,
Donald Trump had this to say
about the price of consumer goods.
The word grocery, it's sort of a simple word, but it sort of means like everything you eat.
The stomach is speaking.
It always does.
And I have more complaints about that bacon.
He sounds like an unprepared best man giving a speech at a grocery store's wedding.
Trump issued this threat about his opponent.
Our whole country will end up being like Detroit if she's your president.
He's in Detroit.
Everywhere we'll have horrible pizza.
We'll constantly have to pay homage to Motown, which we admire, but it doesn't have to be
your thing.
I was talking about Motown. Trump had this to say about California.
In California you have brownouts and blackouts every week.
And blackouts, I mean the place is stone-cold, broke, no electricity.
So you have blackouts, brownouts all the time.
What an asshole. He has no idea what living in California is like.
no idea what living in California is like.
All right.
For those listening at home, the studio lights went out.
Also in Detroit, Trump recalled the life advice he gave his children.
No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes.
And they'd go out and Ivanka would say, dead, stop telling me that.
I said, I'm going to tell it to you every time I see you.
I'm going to drive you wild with it.
There will now be a one hour intermission so that we can all go home and take a shower.
Now we're going to play a game called the six degrees of Trump family cocaine and we'll
all name the people we know who have done cocaine with those children.
Anybody want to go first?
Meanwhile Trump will hold a rally in Coachella this Saturday for reasons that remain politically
unclear.
I hope he plays hot to go.
Ahara's campaign spokesperson said, Oh no, this is extremely concerning for our campaign.
Please do not go to Coachella, California, 24 days before the election.
Whatever gay guy they have peddling the generator
on that catty bitch machine.
We salute you.
Meanwhile, Trump supporters are not just getting scammed
by his rallies, some are reporting high dollar scams
on true social as grifters run rampant
on Trump's social media platform.
Amazingly, this is not about the $100,000
watches Trump is selling, or the crypto trading cards
Trump is selling, or the Bibles Trump is selling.
According to FTC complaints obtained by Gizmodo,
elderly truth social users have fallen victim to grifters
losing tens of thousands of dollars
before realizing they're scammed.
As a Donald Trump supporter, you've
marked yourself as scammable.
You're on the Paris subway asking people in English
how to get to Notre Dame, and you're
pronouncing it Notre Dame.
You're taking out your wallet to buy a fake Prada bag in Italy,
and your euros are all just falling on the ground.
Said one elderly victim,
I'm ruined, I'm ruined to think I was once the mayor of New York.
During oral arguments on Tuesday,
the Supreme Court seemed likely to uphold a Biden administration
rule that requires background checks, serial numbers, and sale records for ghost guns.
But no ruling as of yet on the ability to purchase...
BOO-lits.
Spooky.
Chief Justice Roberts seemed skeptical of manufacturers' arguments that they shouldn't
have to comply
with gun regulations because ghost guns are usually assembled at home and marketed to
hobbyists.
Justice Samuel Alito, on the other hand, questioned whether ghost gun kits fall under the legal
definition of a firearm, asking, and this is real, whether eggs, chopped ham, peppers,
and onions would be considered a Western omelet.
When the lawyer representing gun owners and gun makers said no, because those ingredients could be used
to make other things, Justice Amy Coney Barrett
asked a follow-up, which is again real,
would your answer change if you ordered it from HelloFresh
and you got a kit and it was like turkey chili,
but all of the ingredients are in the kit?
As it happens, HelloFresh has a sister company
that sells ghost gun kits called GoodbyeFresh.
These kits are about exploiting the loophole. a sister company that sells ghost gun kits called Good Buy Fresh.
These kits are about exploiting the loophole. It's obviously a loophole. Everybody knows it's a loophole. It's like building a latte in the Starbucks app instead of paying full price for
the latte. I don't care what you call it, I'm drinking a latte and they can try to close that
loophole but somebody's going to get shot. Speaking of situations that have gotten out of hand,
a woman in Washington state called the police last week
when she was unable to get into her home
because there were about 100 raccoons outside
demanding food.
Soon after, two squad cars arrived,
but sure enough, they were just full of more raccoons.
The woman told authorities
that she'd started feeding raccoons about 35 years ago,
and had no issues until six weeks ago, when the raccoon population exploded.
Also, by the way, she's lying.
Just admit it, lady, the problem didn't suddenly emerge slowly day by day, week by week, year by year.
You raised a raccoon army.
You're embarrassed that it now has gotten to the point where you need help,
but that didn't happen in the last six weeks.
You've been feeding raccoons for 35 years.
The problem is not sudden, it's a problem, and you're right to call the authorities, but it didn't sneak up on you.
This reminds me of when on Hoarders, a show that I used to watch secretly.
The doctor would go into a house with shoulder-high garbage and a cat skeleton under a rotten jack-o'-lantern,
and the doctor would ask the person what happened,
and the hoarder would say,
it's been a really busy spring.
And finally, Ethel Kennedy,
wife of the late Robert F. Kennedy
and mother to R.F.K. Jr., died at the age of 96.
When reached for comment, R.F.K. Jr. expressed sadness
that she did not live long enough to see him become president.
Then he signed, fired up his trusty chainsaw, and said,
Now let's get decapitating.
In other news, an old woman's skeleton has been found in Central Park?
What the fuck?
Damn it.
Is that you, Ethel?
All right.
Up next, a member of Congress is here.
All right, we'll be right back.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back.
Please welcome to the stage, LA's own representative Sydney Comley or Dove. And we're back!
Please welcome to the stage, LA's own representative Sydney Commalier-Duff.
Hi.
Right here is great.
Right here is great.
Welcome.
Thank you.
I'm stressed.
Why?
I don't know.
New crowd, new crowd.
Oh, they're harmless.
Okay.
They're-
Only because I can't see them. This is, this crowd. Oh, they're harmless. Okay.
Only cause I can't see them.
This is, this is a good, this is the resistance.
Okay, I love it, I love it, I love it.
Woo!
I would say, actually say, this is the resistance,
parentheses, white section.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I got that, yeah, I got that, I got that.
I just don't wanna, yeah, it's a big, it's a big tent. Big difference, yeah. Big tent, big tent. Yeah, I know,. Yeah, I got that. I got that. I just don't want to... Um, yeah. It's a big... It's a big tent.
Big difference, yeah. Big tent. Big tent.
Congressman, you sent us a veritable Lipton's factory worth of scalding hot congressional behind-the-scenes tea.
Hot tea.
And so we're going to use that to process the actual harrowing reality of this election in a segment we're calling...
Kongos is in session.
Sure. Ooh, I like thatos is in session. Sure.
Ooh, I like that.
Yeah, fine, fine.
All right.
Pack a haul.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, Kongos.
We're getting a pedi.
You know, I've never had a pedi, Kira.
A pedi, a mani pedi.
I've never had a mani or a pedi.
You never.
Now, as the electioneers,
our tension's getting higher in Congress
between Trump supporters and the more normal amongst you.
What's it been like watching the MAGA virus take over in the House?
It's been insane.
I mean, we have seen fisticuffs happen.
A toupee was almost released from the head.
Um, there has been,
and that was just to elect the speaker that they wanted.
And then we've had Chip Roy actually say on the microphone, Republicans have nothing
to run on. We have done absolutely nothing. Amen, Colonel Sanders. We have spent weeks
fighting for the rights of stoves and refrigerators and dishwashers, and we don't spend any time fighting for the rights of young women, young
boys, public education. I don't know, like, has your refrigerator called 911 recently?
No.
Yeah, mine neither.
It does, it's, although I think it now can. I don't know why people...
Hey, cats! Maybe 988, if you call 988.
And I don't know why we want the fridges to get smarter.
I feel like it's like, OK, my fridge can connect to the internet,
but can't you just focus on making ice?
Like, that was what you were good at.
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
Yeah, mine grumbles.
Mine grumbles, too.
Yeah, mine's grumbling, too.
And it's like when IHOP's like, no, no, no,
we're a burger restaurant.
It's like, really?
Because other people, you need to do burgers, too?
Leave burgers to other people.
You're pancake people.
My fridge makes ice.
It doesn't need to talk to the toaster.
That might be true.
That might be true.
So you know, I will say in my natural resources committee,
I went in for a hearing, true story,
and we ended up having a discussion on mining
for asteroids in outer space.
Now I don't know if this is a real issue for anyone else,
but rather than talking about climate change,
we were talking about asteroids.
Oh, yeah.
No, I don't know.
That's interesting to me.
Like, I don't think the hearing, I don't think,
I think you're right.
Like, we should focus probably on the boiling of the oceans.
Correct.
Because by the time we figure out
how to get the like, tungsten out of the, you know, place
between Mars and Jupiter that has a name that I can't remember, it'll be too late.
Yeah.
They were trying to sell asteroid rights to Shell and, you know, Chevron.
It was really that kind of a thing.
Oh, of course.
Of course.
What's the Kuiper belt?
That's further away.
It's not important.
There's the, I think it's just called the asteroid belt.
Does it have, just the asteroid belt,
just the belt of asteroids.
The Kuiper, the Cooper, Kuiper, Q,
I think it's like K-U-I-P-E-R,
but I think it's pronounced Kuiper, further away.
We're never getting those things.
We'll be long dead.
We'll be long dead.
Long dead before we get the good stuff out of that, you know?
Correct.
Do you have any Republican colleagues that kind of let their hair down behind the scenes?
Well, I took the toupee off.
Yeah, other than that.
That are like, I'm sorry, I gotta go out there and say the dumbest shit, but I hate this fucking guy.
Oh, we have. So when they threw Kevin McCarthy off the plank and we had to go through this three-week process to
elect Mike Johnson, we would go to events and Republicans would come up to me
and say, I just wish all of those Freedom Caucus people would get on a
submarine. I wish they would just go far away. Was this during the time when the
submarines were going like this? I know.
Or just general?
It kind of was.
I see.
It kind of was.
So they would come.
I said, you know, don't cry for me.
Do something.
I mean, these are my people.
I've already told them that blank, blank.
Yeah.
It's like, you ever, like, it's really uncomfortable
if you're ever at, like, another family's function,
and then they are fighting.
And then someone pulls you aside and you can you believe
my aunt and it's like don't do that.
Don't do that.
That reflects poorly on both of you.
Yeah, your aunt sucks.
But you suck for talking to me about it.
Correct.
Like you should talk to your aunt.
You should talk to your aunt.
Leave me out of this.
Leave me out of this.
So we have that constantly.
Oh, I can't believe this is happening.
Oh, I just, I wish you would do something but I know you can't. And I would say yes, so why don't you do something? Well, I can't believe this is happening. Oh, I just, I wish you would do something,
but I know you can't.
And I would say, yes, so why don't you do something?
Well, I can't either.
Okay, then shut up.
STFU, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, which is an acronym.
Do you?
It is.
On the other hand, so the Republicans who are behind
the scenes are like, I'm sorry about my friend,
and then there's the friend.
Yeah.
How do you work with somebody like Clay Higgins
who posts something as vile as this?
So I'm not going to read it, but this was a,
just as, I don't know, textbook racism,
I think you would just like buy the book,
hitting all the racism marks,
hitting every branch of the racism tree
on the way to the ground, you know?
So my blood is activating right now. the racism marks hitting every branch of the racism tree on the way to the ground, you know?
So my blood is activating right now.
It was about the Haitian immigrants in Ohio.
It was despicable.
So we have a member of Congress from Florida, Sheila Sherfliss McCormick, who is Haitian.
And this, he posted this, we gathered on the floor, members of the Black Caucus, our chair,
Steve Horsford with Sheila, and some of us went to him,
I don't know what you're talking about.
I mean, because he does have an accent,
so he was saying that.
I guess I got into your feelings.
So we had, yes, I can't, I don't know what I can say,
because I wanna say. Whatever you want.
Because I want to say motherfucker, you know?
You know what that motherfucker is?
That's the motherfucker of a safe district.
Okay, thank you.
Oh my God.
Nice.
So he was doing all this and we said, take this down.
And then Byron Donalds found his black self
and he went to Clay Higgins and said something
and a couple of other people said something.
We tried to ask for a minute on the floor to talk about it.
Of course, the speaker wouldn't let that happen.
We had to finish voting.
And then afterwards we had to gavel down
and then gavel back in.
It's all procedural and Mike Johnson said well he we all prayed in the back
and he took it down so we don't need to talk about it but you said what you said
so we had to confront him and then he was walking around the floor afterwards
I guess I guess I heard somebody's feelings.
He kept saying that and it was like,
you know you should come to my house.
You should come to my house after six o'clock
and I can share with you all my feelings.
It's really disturbing and the cousins, the friends,
say oh I'm not that kind of Republican.
I would never say that.
But they don't stand up and sanction that person
or call that person out or check that person.
You know where I come from, if you do something wrong,
you get checked.
You get checked by the people who love you
because they're wanting you to be better.
So find a backbone.
Yeah, find a backbone.
It's a bummer.
It's a bummer.
Let's get it off the screen.
Okay, let's get it off.
Get off the screen.
How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene in real life,
and is Lauren Boebert taking her life in her hands in this feud?
How who-hut?
How jacked is Marjorie Taylor Greene?
She is jacked, so I am so...
I am so curious.
I say this every time I see her, and one day I will tell her,
what is going on with your split ends?
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Wow.
And why all the spray tan?
But I don't, I keep it to myself, you know.
A safe district.
But she's really jacked.
She is jacked, and she's a petite thing,
and she's always surrounded by her people,
and she's incredibly oblivious and she's always surrounded by her people and she's incredibly oblivious
to the real world, yes.
And Lauren Boebert is in my Natural Resources Committee,
so when you first start your committee,
you have to vote on the rules,
how the committee is gonna behave.
And so she introduced this rule that said
we can bring guns and grenades to our natural
resources committee.
Grenades?
Grenade explosives.
To the natural resources committee?
Correct, correct.
And so they voted to pass that.
I raised my hand, I said, I'm sorry, do I really want to be on this committee?
Is there a precedent for why we should be bringing explosives to the committee?
Well, can you get them in the... Oh my goodness.
And so now we can bring guns and grenades and everything to natural resources.
I'm so sick of these salmon. Boom! You know.
Right.
It's like, what?
Right. I mean, it is a way to get at deeper veins of ore.
I know. I know. So she's a little out to lunch.
She's kind of, you know, recalibrated since she had to switch districts.
And then there was the Beetlejuice thing and hubba da hubba da hubba da.
Yeah. Yeah.
Do you think we're getting enough buses for the 2028 Olympics or should I work from home?
I'm worried about it. You should be worried about it. The worried about it. Don't worry, there'll be
buses. There'll be buses. How many buses? I would, uh, yeah, don't wait on the buses.
Okay. Get the scooters, get the scooters, watch on TV. Is it dispiriting being part of the least
productive Congress in a hundred years? Don't you loveiriting being part of the least productive Congress in 100 years?
Don't you love that?
We have been the least productive since 1859
when the union was dissolving.
It is horrible.
We passed 77 bills.
We have passed 77 bills this legislative session.
Half of them were on these refrigerators and stoves
and appliances.
So when you go home, you tell your appliances
that Congress is working for them.
It's very dispiriting.
And we had to pass a resolution to continue
to fund the government four times.
You should only be doing that once a year.
Right, or properly many times.
You know what I'm saying, right?
Sort of a reauthorization for like five years
so you can focus on everything else.
Yes.
But you're not really doing anything.
No, we're watching people fight on the floor
and then reading allegations in the paper
that end up in the ethics committee.
Yeah, we're doing all fun things in high school.
It'd probably be better if Democrats took back the House.
We are gonna be taking back the House in November.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And finally, you were attacked by a hawk
while visiting Los Angeles.
Yes, in Silver Lake, outside of my district,
so it was not an angry constituent.
But I was out and about running errands,
and I thought there was a mean child
playing dodge ball with my head.
And I got out of the car, and boom,
and I thought, who is this and boom and I thought this is this
child you know let me get them and a bird flew above me and I thought oh that
bird's in trouble there's a bad child and then at the bird came at me again
kind of close out though okay yeah aggressive aggressive appearance over
lake and then I realized that it was a hawk coming for me.
And I was like, I've been voting
for all of this shit to protect you.
And get a life.
And so I run up the wrong stairs
and I call the person I was coming to see
and I was like, I know I'm not in the right place,
but I don't know how to get to you.
And there's a hawk.
And she said,
put the phone down and run, run as fast as you can.
And I was like, what is going on?
So I did, I dropped everything and ran down the stairs,
I put my purse on my head and I was screaming,
I looked like, like tippy-head when it was for real.
And the bird was chasing me to the front of the street.
And then I finally get in my, the place and she said, oh yeah, oh yeah, that hawk is bad
news.
Do you, do you think that was your friend being nice and suggesting that it wasn't something
you did, that it's a hawk that menaces other people?
Or do you think there was something specific about you that drew the attention of the hawk?
Well, I was like, you know, black lives matter.
Right. that drew the attention of the hawk? Well, I was like, you know, Black Lives Matter.
Right, so, yeah, no.
I found out the hawk was a mother, a recent mother,
and they thought that she was protecting her babies,
and she had attacked other people in the neighborhood.
She scratched, you know, a neighbor's face
and had hit someone else,
so she was a very aggressive mother.
So I was grateful that she just grazed me.
She was like, ooh, too much hair.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't know what happened, but I was scared.
I didn't have PTSD.
I had to go back to that person and I was like,
I don't know if I can come back.
I need to take medication.
She was like, oh no, the bird's gone.
Well, we talked to a animal specialist.
You said the only way to cure PTSD from a hawk attack is immersion
therapy. Bring in, bring in the hawks. Congresswoman, what, so we're in the
fight to take back the House, in the fight to keep the Senate, we're in the
fight to elect Kamala Harris. How you feeling?
I am feeling hopeful.
I am feeling hopeful.
I am less hopeful about the Senate,
but I am very hopeful about Congress.
And I'm very hopeful about the White House.
I think as long as we all continue to talk to each other,
and not just like-minded people, but to everyone,
and tell them what is at stake,
and everything is at stake.
Every single thing is at stake.
If she is not elected, the next president,
whoever is the next president,
will be nominating three new people to the Supreme Court.
The next person has the responsibility of protecting government
and the person who was in the White House before has already shown us a
manifesto that wants to get rid of most of government and we can't afford that.
Yeah, yeah I think he's terrible. I think he's honestly I think he's just
terrible. I have a question for, I think he's just terrible.
I know.
I have a question for you.
OK, tell me.
You had up questions all night.
I know, but I have another one.
You have a real?
OK, come on.
This is my last question.
OK, OK.
Which is, what's a great restaurant
to try in your district?
Oh my god, so many.
Well, John and Vinny's has come to town,
so I love that John and Vinny's has moved south.
Ooh, Sunday gravy is super great.
Sunday gravy, I want to try Sunday gravy.
Oh my god, you gotta go, you gotta go, you gotta go.
Oh my god, the lemon pasta's amazing.
I love lemon pasta.
Ooh, is this salad just good?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ms. Lala's super great if you like Mediterranean.
Okay.
I got so many for you.
All right, thank you.
Summerville is opening up, that's Easter Ray's new place.
Ooh.
I like celebrities, What can I say?
We all do. It's Los Angeles.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you want anything else? Alta Adams. They have great cocktails.
Nice. You know when people say a place has great cocktails, sometimes I'm like, okay.
No, no, they're good.
Delicious pizzas there. There's New York pizza.
All right. Let's calm down.
I'm just...
We're having a nice time. Let's not ruin it by saying
things we'll regret. Congresswoman Kamala Khurdav, thank you so much. You come back,
Zadep Johnson and Mark Duflox. And we're back. The internet. Can't live with it, can't take a dump without it.
Yes, I've seen a doctor.
And yes, what?
And yes, I saw that doctor dancing to Addison Rae's Diet Pepsi on TikTok.
Here to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down to the most deranged parts of the algorithm
this week, please welcome Mark Duplass and Zanev Johnson. Come on out. Oh. Hi, everybody. Come on out. Oh, hi everybody. Come on out. Where do you want me?
Wherever you want.
Come on in.
Come on in.
Here's great.
Does it matter where we sit?
No, it doesn't.
It does.
You're in the wrong seat.
Well, I'm here now.
You're in the wrong seat.
I told you they'd be up on us, right?
Yeah, you didn't say they were going to be this up on us.
No, it is.
It's an intimate venue.
It's an intimate venue.
Like a person currently neck deep and quick to the point where they're like, oh, I'm going
to be in the wrong seat.
I'm going to be in the wrong seat.
I'm going to be in the wrong seat.
I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I'm going to be in the wrong seat. I told you they'd be up on us, right? Yeah, but you didn't say they'd be this up on us. No, it is.
It's an intimate venue.
It's an intimate venue.
Like a person currently neck deep in quicksand
might have a hard time posting a Yelp review
of their jungle tour, so too am I struggling
to assess how bizarre social media has gotten of late.
Mark and Zaynab, I'm gonna tell you
about the most painfully online subject matter
recently trending on God's own internet.
For each one, I'm gonna assign each of you a pro or con,
and you will do your best to defend
or rebuke that trending topic.
In a segment we're calling, For Whom the Hell Scrolls?
(*bell dings*)
(*audience laughs*)
What is he doing there?
I don't know.
(*audience laughs*)
I don't know, because it's his internet now.
He's in the middle of his robotaxi event right now. He's in a robot of his RoboTaxi event right now.
He's in a RoboTaxi event right now?
What's a RoboTaxi?
He's selling RoboTaxis now?
Oh yeah, he's selling RoboTaxis.
All of you guys are going home in a RoboTaxi tonight.
You get a RoboTaxi and you get a RoboTaxi and you get a RoboTaxi.
You know, I have such a visceral outrage when I see either the Waymo cars moving now around LA
or the little robots that carry the food from the restaurants.
And it's not, it's like, it's that I hate the idea of having to like acknowledge their
existence because of their physical, the inability for me to ignore the fact that they take up
physical space in the universe.
They're like, if I'm walking on a sidewalk,
no matter what, I want to keep going straight through the robot,
but I can't because it is there.
Have you ever tried? The robot will go around you.
Yes, but you gotta, I'm, yes, but I'm moving too fast for these little, these little monsters.
Here's the thing, you do have an option, though,
when the robot is crossing the street
and you're turning right in your car.
You technically can go through the robot at that moment,
if you would like to.
Yes, yes.
But you know those things are just little.
I'm also haunted by every Black Mirror episode, where
it's like the robot, the picture gets taken, the license plate,
it goes back to HQ, and I got a letter in the mail,
I'm dealing with that for six months.
Also there's somebody in their apartment like,
where's my burger?
Yeah, and sometimes that's me.
And do you, you don't want to be responsible for that.
No.
Mark, your new show, Penelope,
explores concepts of mental health,
growing up and living off the grid.
Grid, overrated?
Yeah I think the grid is properly rated you know? Yeah.
Like I think that like we're getting really good things out of the grid. I love
the grid. You know? Like the grid is the grid, the grid brought me like some really nice leftovers today
because I kept them in my refrigerator, you know,
and that was nice that the grid brought me that.
But what's bad about the grid and why I made Penelope is
I do think we're all having trouble sitting alone
with ourselves for more than seven seconds
without pulling out our phones.
Yeah.
And I had this time in my life where, from when I was like 19 to 21, my friends called
me the Indigo Boy because I would travel around in my van.
With lesbians.
With lesbians, yes.
And I was a singer-songwriter.
And I would go days without speaking to people in between shows.
And I would just sit with myself.
And it was very formative to who I am. And think we're missing that so that's part of why I
wanted to make that show.
Yeah, I like that.
I love the grid but it is nice to leave it.
Yeah, I used to go on like long hikes by myself and I wouldn't tell anybody where I was going
and I would love that and then I saw like 128 hours.
What's the name of the movie?
It's actually called 127 hours, but you saw the sequel.
What happened in that last hour?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Now I text. I'll share location.
No, it's good to share your location. Do you share your location?
I do share my locations with my entire family and no one else. That's good. I like sharing my location. I like the intimacy
it creates with my friends. Who do you share with? I have a few friends I share it with.
And I like it. It's like, where are they? That's where they are. That's where they are.
Here's where I am. Does that ever cause political problems because someone lied to you. They
said they were going with Fred and they were really with Amy.
Well...
And that happens.
No, I think that it also, it prevents that you can't do the I'm on the...
With the friends that can see where you are.
Like my friend Spencer and I, we share our locations.
And I'll be like, I'm on, I'll be like, I'm 20 out.
And he'll be like, you're not 20 out.
You're like 30 out.
Like maybe if you drive like a maniac, you're 26 out. And then you'll say it was 20 out, but you're 30 out. You're fucking 30 out. Like maybe if you drive like a maniac, you're 26 out. And then you'll say it was 20 out, but you're 30 out.
You're fucking 30 out.
That's like, to me, that's like sweet vulnerability discrepancy
that you and Spencer will joke about later.
The bad one is like, I'm at Greg's house,
and Spencer's like, no, you're at my girlfriend Amy's house.
Sure, yeah.
I think if you're blowing up several relationships,
you shouldn't have your location turned on with various people involved. at my girlfriend Amy's house. Sure, yeah. I think if you're blowing up several relationships,
you shouldn't have your location turned on
with various people involved.
No, and that's smart.
And that's the kind of thinking that goes into Penelope.
That's right.
That's right.
Who's off the grid, but young, too young to be off the grid.
Well, she's 16.
She leaves behind her life, and she heads out into the woods.
And it's been really fascinating listening to people
who watch this show because some people really feel like this is everything that I want. I
hate my phone. I want to get rid of it. And some people feel like, wait a minute, what about this
girl's parents and what is she doing out there? And I feel like personally, I don't know how you
guys feel like, the nature of discourse around the fact
that we have 500 TV shows and movies on our queue,
like we take things in and then we forget
about them immediately.
So I actually wanted to like increase the electricity
of the idea by about 20% so that it could actually land
with someone and create some kind of discourse other than,
did you see it?
Yeah, I saw it, but I forgot
because I'm watching the Menendez thing now.
Yeah, I actually liked it.
It's a 16 year old and not a, you know,
if it's an older person, it's like, you know,
you hear older people like, I remember
when I had to memorize phone numbers, you know?
But like a person that, as I look around at everyone
who would say that, sorry. But a person that's...
This guy has a rotary phone in his pocket.
First of all, she's so funny, but you're a young crowd.
Such a funny person, but she's joking.
That's what's funny.
But a 16-year-old has only ever, their entire life has been with the internet,
and most of it with social media and streaming
and stuff like that.
So for them to make that choice, I do think it's more.
It's weird, like when we started writing the show
like two years ago, we were like,
oh, this is kind of like a novel idea.
And then in the last year, all these articles have come out
where these teens are choosing these
like chosen Luddite societies and they're getting their dumb phones and
they spend a week together in nature and and so I don't know I feel like maybe
something is happening a little bit yeah I went on Survivor in part to get away
from my phone and then I got out first but they didn't give me my phone back so
I got what I needed out of it so you got the best of both worlds for sure because
I could still eat food you know you got Surviv best of both worlds. For sure, because I could still eat food, you know?
You got Survivor on the grid.
Yeah, I was on the... I was totally on the grid.
Fiji's on the grid now.
And that's the cool thing about it.
All right, you know what? Let's play the game.
Okay.
First up, we have the viral cake theft.
A TikTok user took us on a harrowing multi-part journey recently
when she accused us of a swanky
New York restaurant of everybody's... I dropped a card. Anyway, he basically made a cake. The
restaurant served tiny slices and then he couldn't get the rest of the cake back. Let's show a clip.
This high-end New York City midtown steakhouse, took the cake back into the kitchen,
cut all of us meager slices of cake to eat,
and they had just eaten the rest of it for themselves.
So...
basically, he took to TikTok to say that this restaurant
ate the other half of this cake he made.
And the question is,
should you come to the internet
with that problem?
Like, is that, you know?
Mark, you say yes.
Zaina, if you say no.
Oh, good guy.
OK, let's go.
Let's go.
I'm going. Okay, let's go. Let's go.
You should absolutely take all of your cake problems to the internet. There are very few empirical truths. This is one of them.
But let's face it, the restaurant fucking ripped these people off.
And they did it in an aggressive way.
You eat the whole cake, that's one thing.
It's kind of like, oh, maybe it disappeared, maybe there was never a cake pudding. You eat half the cake, that's saying
something. That is saying something. I want you to know specifically, like I want you to see the fork
and time marks. That needs to be punished. Internet is the place. You say no, Zaynab.
Oh, I'm arguing for, okay. You're so good at it though.
You do not go to the internet about a cake, okay? Especially if it's a homemade cake.
Because whoever made it could just make it again.
Y'all probably had a big ass birthday party and those people working at that restaurant regardless of how high end it is, they have lives too and it was probably stressful.
Next up, Ryan Murphy most recent season of Monsters, who tells the case of Lyle and Eric
Menendez, the two brothers convicted of the gruesome killing of their parents in 1989.
As with every semi-attractive murderer, the actual Menendez brothers, allegedly eating
half of his friend's birthday cake, god damn it, found the missing card.
The brothers subsequently got a new crop of supporters and since it's 2024, those
supporters made a ton of thirst traps and fan cams about the brothers.
Here's one now.
All right.
The question is pro or con, is it okay that people are thirsting over the
Menendez brothers if it gives them an outlet for whatever weird part of the human brain
makes them do stuff like this?
Uh, hmm.
Zaynab, you're in favor of this being fine.
Mark, you'll be against.
30 seconds on the clock.
You want to go first? Yeah, sure, you'll be against. 30 seconds on the clock.
Yeah, sure, I'll go first.
You can totally like, listen, everybody loves a bad boy.
And what's more bad than murder, right?
And I give back my time. All right.
Well, a tough act to follow.
Mark, kick it away.
Hmm.
Well, there's a gray area here, right?
Right, so like these guys, they definitely killed someone.
So if you're gonna crush on them and thirst trap them,
maybe take it to something that was like 50-50.
Like maybe they did it or maybe they didn't.
So maybe this is like some bad boy energy, maybe it's good.
You know, if you're gonna crush on somebody,
it should be like, maybe it's OJ Simpson, you know?
Right.
Because you know, it's 50-50, right?
Sure.
That's a view.
That's a view you can have.
OK.
And that's the view.
That's my take.
Powerful words.
Powerful words.
What's in between a pro and a con?
Powerful words.
All right, and finally, a peculiar mocktail champion
by Dua Lipa went viral this week.
The ingredients, Diet Coke, pickle juice, and jalapenos.
We are all going to try it.
And then we are gonna just pro and con this bad boy together.
Okay.
I am not gonna try it.
Oh, here's one.
I have a third one, hang on.
Okay.
Ooh, it's happy.
Why is it so big?
I'm so sorry.
Why did you make larges?
I mean, this is.
It's a lot.
It's why it feels.
I'm going to say this calculation on my part.
What?
I think it smells good.
I think it smells good, too, because I like jalapenos.
So anybody want to try this? I've never had a Coke in my life you've never I've never had a coke really and you're not gonna have one now well why why would I okay
market I was right you're not gonna start with a diet coke here yeah all right hi what's your name Julia okay you're gonna taste it with us all right you're gonna count for Zainab. All right, let's taste this thing. Here we go.
Cheers to Dua Lipa.
For those of you who can't see, we're tasting.
Oh, okay.
It's interesting.
It's interesting, I think it is worse than Diet Coke.
I think adding the pickles made it worse,
and then adding the jalapenos made it worse.
Yeah, like, it described a bouquet of flavors as it applies to wine, and a good bouquet, it all mixes together, and this is just three separate bouquets sitting next
to each other in great discomfort.
I don't like this drink for the same reason I don't like soup. And I'll explain.
I drink...
A liquid is supposed to help when something is spicy.
Wait, hold...
What? Is that the...
That's the definition of a liquid?
No. I didn't say it was the definition of a liquid.
I didn't say it was the definition of liquid.
I said, for me, a drink is supposed to help on something spicy.
When I have a spicy drink, where do I turn?
To food?
To help?
Don't like it.
Soup.
What are we doing here?
You know, it's not a drink, but it's a liquid.
What part of the meal does it replace?
No part of the meal.
I'd rather have a salad or nothing. Let's cut
the soup thing if it's not crackin'.
How did you like it?
Julie?
It's not different than a Bloody Mary.
It's not different than a Bloody Mary. Yes, we're on, I feel like you're right. We're
on the road to Bloody Mary.
It does need alcohol. I do agree that., you're right. This would be a definitely
a drink if it had an alcohol. I think bourbon, I would say bourbon, Diet Coke, pickle juice
and a little jalapeno. I'm not angry.
You could be there.
I'm not angry. I'm not going to, I'm not going to order it because it'd be better without
two of the ingredients.
I feel like, yeah, you, you take out the Diet Coke, you put in some Bloody Mary mix, you
take out pickles, you put into vodka, you take
out the jalapenos.
Put in a little Tabasco or something.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're on your way.
Yeah, you're on your way.
I mean, that's a whole new drink, but yeah, it's okay.
It's a no for me.
It's a no for me.
It's a strong no for me.
And you know, I think that what's happening here is we've come to trust that those who
are excellent in one arena might be excellent in another arena.
And maybe that's not such a good idea.
Right.
Like for instance, it can turn out that somebody that has a rocket company can also have the
dumbest opinions in the history of planet Earth.
Like that's possible to have two things can be true at the same time.
John Glenn.
John Glenn, for example.
Yeah, John Glenn.
Obviously speaking of John Glenn.
Fucking John Glenn.
Zainab, how are you doing?
Pretty good.
Thirsty.
She's doing a lot better than the three of us who drank some of this beverage.
Do you have a plug?
A plug?
Yeah.
Where are you going?
Are you touring?
I threw the cart on the ground.
Oh yeah.
How is that with that?
Sure sir.
What are we doing suddenly?
Well I just got back from filming upload season four.
Okay.
Yeah, which is the fourth and final season
and it's so funny that earlier you mentioned Luddites
because we kind of covered Luddites a bit in our previous seasons and so yeah I just did that and that's
wonderful I can't it's like such a good season I can't wait for people to watch it and now
I'm back on the road next week I'm in Philly and then Detroit and then St. Paul and then
Amsterdam and then Geneva and then Paris and then London wow Austin and then Geneva and then Paris and then London. Wow. And then Austin and then Houston and then I can't remember the rest.
Being uploaded is the opposite of going off the grid in a sense.
Yeah, if you don't know the show, it's like in a close future, and people can, instead
of essentially dying, you can upload your consciousness to a virtual heaven that is run, that's
owned by like big corporations. I'm in. I want to stick around. I'm fine with whatever.
You want that? Yeah I'm in. Yeah. 100%. Why not? It's a new experience.
I play an angel which is a customer service person and first season I lost
one of the people whose consciousness I had. Like I
literally, my character lost it. So just keep that in mind.
Yeah. There's still human error. Yeah for sure. I'll take my chances. Maybe that's
where we are right now. You're either nowhere or you take the 2% chance
you get lost. That's worth it. Yeah. Yeah I'm in. Wow. Sort of a side at the end with the deep philosophical implications.
I'm here for it.
Con.
When we come back, we'll spin a wheel.
Don't go anywhere.
This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.
And we're back. Love it or leave it, and there's more on the way.
And we're back!
This fall, it's not just the presidency at stake, the future of the Supreme Court is on the line too.
But before you start to spiral, tune into Strict Scrutiny with three law degrees and plenty of opinions. Melissa Murray, Kate Shaw and Leah Lippman are breaking down every case and every decision so you can head to the polls ready and confident to cast your vote.
Listen to Strict Scrutiny every Monday.
We're so glad they're part of the network.
It's an amazing show.
Wherever you get your podcasts.
Also, we're now on YouTube.
Strict Scrutiny is now on YouTube.
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Have you listened to Termin-
Anybody here a subscriber?
Fuck.
Uh-
No, she raised her hand.
Oh great.
It's a podcast, you have to applaud.
Thank-
Have you determined online?
Polar Coaster?
They're good shows.
Yeah, they're great.
Okay.
Right?
Yeah, I'm sure they are.
Hell yeah.
What am I doing? All right. All right. Please welcome...
Did you have a warm up comic before the show started?
No. I do it. This is the warm up. I warm it up at the beginning. All right. Please welcome
Congresswoman Kamala Yardav back to the stage to join.
Welcome back. Good to see you. Missed you. All right.
Kamala Harris all over the news this week and I demand more because everybody is watching the blitz unfold the Kamala Harris media blitz unfold.
Everybody's got an opinion about where she should go.
We're going to pitch our own a podcast at Gossipy Suburban Book Club.
We want to see Kamala visit to seal the presidential deal.
It can be real, it can be fictional,
it can be whatever you want it to be.
In a segment we're calling Women Be Blitzen.
Beautiful.
All right.
Let's spin the Blitz wheel.
I would love to see her shopping like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, she walks by the Republican store and is like,
big mistake. Doesn't make any sense.
Oh.
Naneb, you're up.
Okay. Um...
What the f***? Okay, there we go.
I was going to say, I was going to say that
I would love to see them just old fashioned door to door.
You know, like just, just Kamala just at my door.
Like, hey girl, right?
Like, and then Trump like, I'll knock, but you know, whatever.
But then it hit me, I would like to see Trump
go on Hot Ones.
He should go on Hot Ones,
because the hotter the wind gets,
I just wanna see him,
I wanna see him versus the hot sauce, you know?
I wanna see him sweat and the toupee kind of start to float away.
And then he'll be like, I'm still the best.
You know, like, I just want to see that.
And Kamala, I want to see her on,
oh, any wrestling show.
Any wrestling show, WWE, WWF, all the W's of threes.
Any wrestling show.
Because she needs to like touch that base.
I love that.
I love that.
Kamala versus Trump eating hot wings
reminds me of the opening scene of Indiana Jones,
of Raiders, where she's just drinking
that guy under the table.
You know that like, you know that like Trump,
it's too hot, it's rigged.
And then she'd be like, just like,
just like this is fine.
I'll use it to brush my teeth.
All right.
All right.
What color does Trump turn when he's getting hot?
Cause he's already orange.
He's already orange.
He turns purple.
He goes purple.
Yeah.
Congresswoman, it's your turn to pitch.
Jesus, okay.
I think she and Walls should do a turn on the show,
The Bear.
Oh.
There is a big convention coming to Chicago
and they have called in these great chefs
to prepare a menu that is reflective
of all of the states that are gonna be participating
at this major convention.
And so she is responsible for putting together a menu
that really represents the best of each of these states.
So it allows her to talk to the base.
It allows her to connect using food
because we know she likes to cook.
And Tim Walsh is Midwestern.
And so he's able to do whatever Midwesterns do.
Beautiful ellipsis there.
Midwestern.
I just think Kamala Harris giving instructions to Tim Walz, then Tim Walz says, yes, chef.
We're done.
312 electoral votes.
Count it.
Here we go.
There we go.
That's such a good idea.
All right. Let's see what's next.
It's the wheel.
Yeah, it's not really.
Listen, the wheel.
What does it do?
It's getting less dramatic.
Who's the dog?
It was almost a dog.
I'm the dog.
Mark, you're up.
OK, so I would actually like to see Ms. Kamala Harris go on $100,000 pyramid, okay?
Because I've been on this show. I've been on the celebrity version of it, because I am a celebrity.
He's name dropping.
Something happens to you in the speed with which you are required to respond that all politics go away.
And your it takes over.
The frontal lobe kind of disappears.
And I just believe in my heart that Kamala,
unplugged as it were, Kamala unhinged,
is what people are looking for right now.
They want to see that she's such a good politician.
She's so good at speaking, but they want to see that little frenetic,
cat-like visceral energy.
I believe she shows that.
That's the 2%.
We're good.
I like that. I like that a lot.
I like that $100,000 pyramid.
It was $10,000 at the beginning.
It was $10,000. We have inflation.
Yeah, I know.
Shouldn't bring that part of it up, I guess.
Yeah.
All right, I think let's see who it lands on next.
The dog.
Oh, it's you.
It's me.
So, the beeping.
First of all, I think people have no attention spans
and you have to go to where people
can't turn off the screens.
I think Kamala Harris should record
the airplane safety instructions
for all the airlines while getting in
little bits of information along the way.
Like, here's what I'm gonna do,
here's what you do if we crash,
here's what I'll do if I'm president.
Just like walk everybody through it,
just because it's one place
where people can't turn off the screen.
The other option I think is only murders in the building.
It's a perfect, she would absolutely fit into that world.
She could be a fourth member of that group.
I think it would totally make sense.
Can't you see it?
I can.
She don't need to go there though,
because you know New York, they don't need her.
She's already good there.
So she got to go somewhere else.
Okay.
Well, I just think it's like good to get,
I think I didn't do a good job.
No, you did.
It just, it needs to be like.
Listen, I realized I was the only one
that wanted to see Trump somewhere.
So, as soon as Mark started, so I was like, oh, I think I did it wrong.
No, yours was good.
Yours was good.
Only murders.
You're right.
We already have New York.
But other people outside of New York see it.
Yeah.
And it's a great theme song.
I like the music.
It's a very...
We need her on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Exactly.
We need that Pennsylvania.
That's smarter.
That's smarter. Or like any of the Marvel shows that Sunny in Philadelphia. Exactly. We need that Pennsylvania movie. Oh, that's smarter. That's smarter.
Or like any of the Marvel shows that shoot in Atlanta.
They go there.
Yeah.
There's some painting.
You know, today we were recording advertisements.
That's part of it.
And you sell out, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK, so you know blank Melellon University named after Andrew blank.
Okay.
Okay.
How do you say that name?
Carnegie Carnegie.
I went there.
Right.
Wait, you went there.
I went to Carnegie Mellon University.
That's what they say, right?
They say Carnegie Mellon.
And they wear tartan, so yes.
So it is Carnegie.
Everybody made fun of me.
I'm sorry, Tommy made fun of me.
Yeah.
Let's call Tommy.
Yeah, Carnegie.
I mean, you know, if you're lazy, you say Carnegie Mellon.
You know what happened?
What?
It was Dale Carnegie, the guy who
wrote the How to Win Friends and Influence People.
That became more popular than the university and it took over.
That's true.
That's what happened.
Oh, he influenced too many people.
Dale.
A lesson.
Blame it on Dale.
Or they just ain't got the right PR people.
See, it is Carnegie.
Is Carnegie Hall? That's what I think. Well, I is Carnegie. Carnegie Hall. How do you get to Carnegie Hall? I've definitely
heard Carnegie Mill and I've never heard Carnegie Hall. But it's the same fucking guy! That's
why this is such a great topic. It changes when you get to New York. It's the dress all over again. Yeah.
I think Kamala should do one of those Netflix roasts. Okay.
When we come back, we'll end on a high note.
And we're back because we all need it.
Here it is, this week's high note.
Hey, love it.
For the last couple of years, my partner and I have struggled
with unexplained infertility.
And as hard as that is, which is incredibly hard,
it's made even harder when you're watching the news
and you see that people are actively trying to end IVF,
which is possibly the only way that we could have children.
And, you know, it's made even more difficult by, you know, my partners on binary and so these
attacks against trans folks and trying to use them as a wedge issue.
It just adds on to what's already such a difficult thing.
And so my high note is that we finally got
our first positive pregnancy test.
And that was a couple of weeks ago.
We've been monitoring, things are going really, really well.
And so, you know, we have our fingers crossed,
but that's our high note is that after years of this difficult journey,
we're finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks.
Hey, John and everyone. My high note is that in late 2019, I decided I was going to go back to school and finally get my degree before turning 40. And now,
month before turning 40, I have my Bachelor's of Science degree in Computer Science. So, hooray!
But it's just in time for the largest tech employer in my area to announce 15,000 people to be laid
off despite getting 8.5 billion dollars from the Biden-Harris administration. So instead of
wallowing in the fact that I'm not going to get any student
loan relief, I've decided to go back to my old stomping grounds of southeast Michigan where I
used to be an OFA volunteer back in the day and encourage people to go out and vote and to vote
their conscience this year. So there's something. Have a good one. Thanks everybody. You shared a
high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that made you feel hopeful,
send us a voice memo to lowly high notes at crooked.com,
L O L I high notes at crooked.com.
Or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, which you should all be,
you can put one in the channel there. Also, there's like what?
27 days until the election. Everybody signed up at Vote Save America. I know how many people listen
this show. I know how many people signed up. There's a big difference. How many
people here have signed up for Vote Save America?
Mmm a lot of hands went up later because you knew it was free to raise your hands.
Please sign up at vote save America dot com. That is our show.
Thank you so much to representative Kamala Gurdow.
Thank you so much to Zaina Johnson and Mark Kupras for 23 days until the 2024 elections.
Have a great night and have a great weekend. It's good shootin' time Lovin' or leave it is lovin' or leave it Hoffman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohanad El-Sheikhi are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor,
Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.
Stephen Colon is our audio engineer,
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Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure.
Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna,
for creating and running all of our visuals,
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and to our digital producers, David Tolles,
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