Lovett or Leave It - BBQ, Bombs, and de Blasio (LIVE from Austin)

Episode Date: May 18, 2019

Jon Favreau and Tommy Vietor join Lovett for an update on Alabama's heinous new law, Trump's trade war, John Bolton's war war, and the Game of Throne's finale. Then we go to Austin for a fantastic live show with Shea Serrano, Emily Heller, and the Texas Tribune's Evan Smith to cover Texas's turn toward Democrats, Beto's habit of standing on things, plus some classic rants and a BBQ taste test. Thank you, Texas!

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, where everything is made up and the points don't matter. Coming up, we have an incredible show live from Austin with Shea Serrano, Emily Heller, and the Texas Tribune's Evan Smith. But before we go to that show, we also wanted to update you on a bunch of news that happened since we recorded. So we're going to do a little topper, as they say. For today's topper, I'm lucky enough to be joined in studio by two of my favorite toppers, Jon Favreau and Tommy Vitor. This is how rumors start. I was just about to say, do you think anyone knows what a topper is

who hasn't been in politics? I didn't know it was a political term. It means a few minutes of discussion about the news before we get to the main event, the show. And it really is a great show. We have 90 seconds to talk about each topic because this isn't Ponce of America and this is New York City

and if there isn't a pizza in front of me, there's a pizza ahead of me, you know? Hey, we're just supposed to sit here and laugh? All right. All right. Listen, it's a tough week for news. All right, here we go. Alabama signed into law the most restrictive abortion law in a decade, which threatens jail time to doctors who perform abortions and the women who receive them, even if you travel outside of the state to access health care. It's truly a heinous situation. It's something we've been talking

about all week. What are some things people can do to fight back? Yeah, I mean, we've been talking about this all week. The Yellowhammer Fund in Alabama helps protect abortion access. Donating to the ACLU is going to be helpful because they're going to sue Alabama. They've actually won in the past when they've sued the state of Alabama. Um, so that's something that people can do. And then, you know, as everything else does, uh, in the fucking Trump era, it comes down to elections and local politics. And we are reminded of the importance of state elections and local elections because of this. And so, uh, you know, we launched, uh, Vote Safe America, relaunched Vote Safe America again this week. So you can go there. And so, you know, we launched Vote Save America, relaunched Vote Save America

again this week. So you can go there. And today we also launched the Fuck Gerrymandering Fund. Fuck Gerry Fund. Fuck Gerry. Okay, yeah, here we go. The Fuck Gerrymandering Fund. And what we're trying to do is make sure that we focus people on state elections that are happening now so we can redraw congressional districts in 2020 so that they're more fair. And then also, if we win more state elections, then more states can protect a woman's right to choose, particularly if the Supreme Court decides to chip away at Roe. Next, America's tallest mayor, Bill de Blasio, announced his candidacy for president this week, and I can hear the roaring support in the streets of New York. It is deafening.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. That is the roar of a steam pipe bursting because of New York's crumbling infrastructure. Oh, no, I'm sorry. That is the roar of a steam pipe bursting because of New York's crumbling infrastructure. It is honestly hard to tell which community. I feel like this has gone from a topper to a place to workshop garbage stand-up. Thank you, Travis, for everything you do. It's honestly hard to tell which community is more frustrated by de Blasio's run New Yorkers or groundhogs who want justice. Gentlemen, is there room in this crowded field for a straight mayor?

Probably, I guess. I don't know. Everyone's really mad about the time he goes to the gym and the location, so I'm having trouble getting past that part of this whole thing. He's going to be really late for stuff now if he's in Iowa. His attorney general of the state of New York is not thrilled with the campaign. She was on Ponce of America this week, and she left chunks of Bill de Blasio in the balcony. Letitia James, badass follower on Twitter.

Anyway, we're looking forward to interviewing him on Ponce of America. Can't wait to have him. We're open. Anyone can take this thing, all right? It's 2019. Anything can happen. That's right. Next, Uber has announced that they will be launching a feature

that allows riders to alert drivers before the ride that they prefer to not talk on a trip. Some people think this dehumanizes the human being driving the vehicle while other people think it will help you not have to promise to give notes on a screenplay what am i supposed to say this it is it is there is something very uncomfortable about this new like we call it the gig economy but in a lot of ways it's like a servant economy and now we're sort of treated like we can press a button to turn off their vocal cords.

I don't like the fuck you don't talk to me button. Yeah. There's something called body language. There's social cues. Sometimes you want to talk with a driver sometimes.

You're taking the Uber because you're busy and don't want to drive yourself and you have to do some work so you don't want to talk. Yeah. You do a little of both sometimes. Human beings have been

sorting this out since long before apps. Yeah. Not a big deal. sometimes. Human beings have been sorting this out since long before apps. Yeah, not a big deal. Next! Man, we are... A little bit of whiplash. Here we go. You can't keep a person away from the things they love,

and Washington Republicans love war in the Middle East. John Bolton... John Bolton and his milk mustache, except instead of milk, it's tread grease from an Abrams tank, is once again pushing this country toward war, and it seems like they're not even interested in making a case to the American people. Is there any hope that this moves towards a peaceful outcome, Tommy? I mean, it depends on if you believe the reports that Trump is telling John Bolton to calm down

and stop being so hawkish and stop leading us into a war. I don't know that I believe those reports. I don't believe that this administration is particularly competent and can execute a strategy if they had one to resolve things diplomatically. So I'm quite worried still. But at least people are talking about it now. Pretty troubling. It is pretty troubling. In what order did you put these topics?

Notes after the show, John. Is this as big a deal of the Uber thing? We're trying to move around. It's love it or leave it. It's a lot of harsh shit. Trying to spread it around. We had to do something tough and that's important but difficult to get through

then we go to de Blasio can we dig into the IPO the Uber IPO I don't know what's going on with these IPOs I don't either I don't understand IPOs I just feel like I'm getting shafted

this is crooked financial news there goes that financial vertical the one thing I do wish is I really do wish I had gotten in on that Beyond Burger IPO oh yeah because I have believed

Beyond was the true meat killer for a very long time, and I think it was underrated compared to Impossible. Have you had one? Yes, I love Beyond Burgers. I haven't. I want to have one. Next up, Trump escalated his war with China over the past few weeks, punishing a lot of his own supporters, and Trump shows no signs of

caring, even claiming that China pays the tariffs. This is what he promised to do when he ran, yet it doesn't seem like there's any goal, or are we once again failing to appreciate a master at work? No. There's one great story about this. So Trump is screwing over all these farmers in the Midwest. You got all these soybean farmers and other farmers who are even Trump voters who are now saying, like, I can't handle this anymore.

I'm not voting for this guy again. This is ridiculous. Trump's answer to this is he wants to give a taxpayer-funded bailout to a lot of these farmers, though there was a story in the New York Daily News this week that instead of the money going to the farmers, $62 million is going to a couple of corrupt Brazilians who run a pork producing company. Cool. That sounds awesome. That's where the money's going. Democrats, if you can't win on that fucking message, give it up. I don't think that's an ultimatum you really want to issue.

We're funding corrupt Brazilian farmers. We're paying the travel bills for Taliban negotiators. I mean, everything is upside down in the world right now. Yeah. But on the China thing...

We're picking up the Ubers for the Taliban negotiators. Yeah, literally. Which, you know what? Money well fucking spent, okay? I'll pay for your hotel if you don't have to fight us in a war anymore

over in Afghanistan. But anyway, I know that's not what you want to talk about. I'll pay for your hotel if you don't have to fight us in a war anymore over in Afghanistan. But anyway, I know that's not what you want to talk about. I'm along for the ride. China, there are a lot of real problems. Intellectual property theft. There's currency manipulation that has happened in the past. There is hacking. There are all sorts of issues.

Market access. What's our goal? What are we trying to get out of slapping tariffs on U.S. consumers? I don't understand it. What's the end game here? Nobody can tell me. It's just a pissing match. And now we're stuck in this fucking year long trade battle. It does seem like two things are happening. Travis is giving me the way, but I don't care. I'm interested in this topic. Two things are happening. One, because Trump is just in this fight, he can claim that any issue you have with China is his issue, too.

He doesn't have to choose. But two, part of the problem here is trade is one of the issues he ran on because it was a violation of not only the Republican consensus, but the Democratic consensus too. And as a classic case, same thing as he's done on immigration, which is take an issue where there was an opening for an approach that both parties weren't interested in for a variety of different reasons, and then taking the problem and just making it much, much worse. I. Right. I mean, there's no Democrats can criticize the cost this has for farmers all we want, but we don't really have a compelling alternative vision for what we want trade to be. Well, the problem is that the way you deal with China's on trade is by forging agreements with a whole bunch of our allies in the region, kind of like the TPP, which, you know, you

could say, OK, a TPP trade agreement with better labor standards, fine. But like that kind of unilateral action is how you manage China and force them to bring up their standards and play more fairly in the world economy. And instead, we're pissing off all these countries. Right. All right. Now, our final topic is Game of Thrones, and it will be very spoiler heavy. So I think we talked about it for about, what do you think, three minutes? Three to four minutes. So skip ahead until you hear rapturous applause. That's how you know we're in the live show.

Love it or leave it. That's how you'll know. So skip ahead because if you don't want spoilers, you're about to get the shit spoiled out of this show. So buckle up. Here it comes. And finally, the series finale of Game of Thrones airs tomorrow, and we'll finally get to see a fistfight between wine-chugging Sophie Turner and a fully-grown dragon.

Wow, cool. Any predictions? And for God's sakes, John, don't say democracy again. I think that everyone's going to live peacefully. Everyone's going to have a nice time, and they're going to cast their little ballots. They're going to get rid of the filibuster. Hold up their little thumbs with a little color on them and

everyone's going to be happy. The king's landing buster. Tyrion's going to have a nice little drink with a dragon. They're going to get a quorum. They're going to have a little quorum and a little vote. When are you going to finish writing the correct episode before the finale airs? Oh, you're doing that? I am so not looking forward to watching this with you.

We all have to watch it together because we're going to watch it after the show in DC on Sunday. And I don't want to hear this with you. We all have to watch it together because we're going to watch it after the show in D.C. on Sunday. And I don't want to hear sighs from you. I don't want to see the eye roll. I don't hear you huffing in the corner when exactly your vision of Game of Thrones has not come to fruition for the finale. I want you to be quiet. How do you want it to end?

I'll tell you how I want it to end. I mean, I realize it's – I'm having a nice time watching it with two of my best friends But I guess that's not in the fucking cards Me too First of all, as you know, having watched Game of Thrones with me in the past I sit in total silence Until it is over Last time I watched with you, you liked the series, now you don't like it

You don't know what it's like to watch with me And maybe there's a good reason for that But I've watched with you Not in a long time That's what I'm saying Yeah yeah but if you remembered you'd remember that i am silent you are for sure so i don't know but i don't know if you've gotten all incensed do you think cersei and jamie are actually dead i do it was so unclear the hope for them still being alive is the hope that there is a better and more fitting ending for those characters

although i didn't particularly mind the way those characters came to their demise. But as I said previously, every time we hope that the season has a surprise, the surprise is there is no surprise. How do you want it to end? I want it to end where the last of the magic leaves the world and we're left with people we don't know particularly well telling the story of

the queen who couldn't be burned and the king who came back from the dead and the night king who was killed by a girl, and all these stories seem like legends, and no one believes them, because there's no more magic, and because they won. Yeah, no, okay.

Democracy is mockable, though. I want to know what the deal with the fucking Night King is. That's all I want to know, and I want to know what stupid Bran's annoying brain has been doing when he rolls his eyes into the back of his head and goes away for an episode. I've been defending the show, but if we never hear another word about the Night King or what Bran's

doing or anything, I'm going to be pretty pissed. Okay, well that's a marker. There's my marker. We got a quorum. Alright, and that is the topper with these two toppers. When we come back... Join us next week on Toppers and Poppers. Poppers and Toppers, where we talk about all the latest news in Poppers and Toppers, where we talk about all the latest news in poppers and toppers.

Are we leaving this in? Who cares? Who knows? Trump is president. Let's leave it all in. When we come back, we will have an awesome, really one of my favorite shows we've ever done in Austin with the incredible Shea Serrano, Emily Heller, Texas Tribune's Evan Smith. It was a really smart conversation about what's happening in Texas.

You're not going to want to miss Emily's rant about multi-level marketing. It's one of the best rants in the history of this show. So check it out. Hello, Austin. Austin. I have been to Dallas. I have been to Houston. And now, I'm in Austin. Now, I have noticed a trend on my trips to Texas,

which tend to culminate in Austin, also with the feeling that I'm going to die here. I've been in Texas for a week, and boy are my intestines tired. I tell myself before every one of these tour swings, you get one fun meal, one treat, and it just goes right out the window. But what are you going to do? When you're in Wisconsin, you eat the cheese curds. When you're in Texas, you have barbecue. When you're in Santa Fe, you have to try the meth.

It's hard to stay healthy on the road. So this is our last night in Texas. For now. But before we go, I wanted to do one last round of truly despicable eating. And so, tonight, we are going to find out which barbecue is best of all. Quick question. Which is your favorite barbecue spot in Austin? I heard Salt Lake at the airport.

While here in Austin, the barbecue capital of this part of Texas, we thought we'd have ourselves a little blind taste test. Here to help is one of our guests tonight. She's a comedian and an Emmy-nominated writer for HBO's Barry and a genuine delight for our entire swing through Texas. Please welcome Emily Heller. Thank you. Thank you. How you doing, Emily? I'm doing good. I'm excited about this. So there are two ways in which this test will be blind. One is

Travis is going to bring out several kinds of barbecue. I will not know where they're from. The other way this is blind is that Emily is in fact a vegetarian from California. And so... I've been taking a break from eating meat for the past 20 years, so... So she is going to judge this contest as well. By smell and appearance. Also, to make this more complicated, we will describe each meal in the form of a haiku. Oh, I forgot about that. Because the beer taste test in Wisconsin form of a haiku. Oh, I forgot about that. Because the beer taste test

in Wisconsin went on way too long and Alisa judged us for it and she's kind of young and cool in a way that's intimidating. Alright. Number one. Emily, why don't you describe what we're looking at here

with barbecue number one. And I'm doing this in a haiku? No, no, no. Yeah, describe what we're looking at here with barbecue number one? And I'm doing this in a haiku? No, no, no. Yeah, I guess we could get there. So we got a couple sausages that look like maybe kielbasa or something. And then we also have, I'm not going to be good at describing this because I don't know how to identify meat. We have a brown one. Maybe it's maybe a brisket.

There is no way for me to dip this sausage in sauce and eat it on stage without... Shut up! You animals. I want you guys to know something. I think I've been here long enough to know I'm going to do a haiku with some confident over-predicting, which has

never gotten me in trouble before. I'm gonna say delicious. Delicious. Haiku isn't strict about the syllables. That's just like the basic format. As long as it's like short and like minimal syllables and like three lines.

As long as it's three lines, it's fine. Delicious. Dry a bit. Delicious. Dry. A bit. Would eat again. Sausage tangy. I think, based on just the sauce that came with it, I believe number one

is Cooper's. How do you like that? That's bold. Let's see if I'm right. I don't know. Wait, we don't, we can't we're not going to see if you're right until the end, right? I know, but I'm just thinking it'd be super impressive if based on just the fact that I'm a gluttonous little shit, I can identify that that's Cooper's. Okay, number two.

Oh, wait, do I give my thing on this? Oh, yeah, you should do a haiku based on its appearance. Yeah. The sausage looks good. The brown stuff does not look good. But they smell all right. Thank you. That's probably going to be my review of all of them.

Would you like to smell number two, Emily? Yeah, yeah. I'll smell it before you eat it. All right. All right, I'm going in. Emily? Yeah, yeah. I'll smell it before you eat it. Alright. Alright, I'm going in. We got a similar sausage and brown stuff thing happening just for description.

But it's on three pieces of bread spread out like some kind of fucked up sandwich. I just want you to know my goal for this sausage round at each turn will be to make sure you don't get a picture of me looking like I'm eating a meat cock. Not that I mind, but... Yeah.

But let the Photoshoppers do it better. Let's give my enemies a challenge. Number two. Haiku. That brisket. Wow. I'm so glad I got to eat it phenomenal

mmm brown stuff is brisket the sausage looks kind of gross. That's true. That's true. They both smelled like meat. Number three.

Emily, get in there. Get your get your proboscis in there. That was anti-Semitic. Yeah, all right. We've got another sausage and brisket. The stripe on this brisket is the straightest of all of them. I don't know if that counts for anything flavor-wise.

Just do it. Yes, thank you. Just turn around honestly that's what I heard the first time I saw one of these things it's time to be on est about how I

feel that was my least favorite. Is the sausage a kielbasa? If so, that was my favorite meat. That's not really a review of this, but I just wanted that information out there. I liked meat.

I like the smell of a lot of meat. It's a thing that I miss, but if I ate it, I would barf. All right. It is time for our fourth and final plate, number four. Get your peebschnas in there. I hope that was okay.

I don't know. That was more respectful. Thank you. Oh, am I going first or are you going to eat it? I can give my review while you eat it. This place tastefully sliced the sausage. This one looks the best, if I'm being honest, which I don't think

I am. Solid. I liked it a little dry, but with the sauce, good. Nice. All right, so I'm going to tell you my rankings right now. It goes two, one, four, three. All right? I'm going to get very bold. Again, I don't know. This could be very embarrassing,

and I'm willing to be embarrassed. That's part of my brand. So I'm going to say, I don't know. This could be very embarrassing and I'm willing to be embarrassed. That's part of my brand. So I'm going to say that I don't know what three and four are, but I'm going to say number two is Franklin's. I believe, I believe. I just, from my taste memory, from the data store, that's what I think. And I'm hoping I'm right because I think it seems cool if I like Franklin's the most. Okay, so it goes two, one, four, three. Do I get to rank them? No. Number two. Oh, sorry, you should rank them.

Wait, what's the bugging point? You haven't even eaten them. No, no, you're a vegetarian. Just based on how gross they look. No, okay, fine. I think number four looks the best. That's all. I don't know how to...

Number four and number one look the best to me. The other ones look very meaty. But that probably means they're better. Emily, I want you to know that you're here for something, which is the proudest moment of my life. Number two, Franklin's. Number one, Cooper's. Number three, La Barbecue. number two franklin's number one cooper's number three la barbecue number four terry blacks and so i had to be honest but but so number four was actually your number three choice so terry

blacks was your number three right yeah but come on guys i am a gay Jew from Hollywood, California. But I know your barbecue so fucking well, I can identify it in a blind taste test. That's how much I like Austin. Let's bring out the rest of our panel. Let's bring out the rest of our panel. You've already met Emily Smell-O-Vision Heller. He is the CEO and co-founder of the Texas Tribune.

Please welcome Evan Smith. How you doing, Evan? How you doing, John? How you doing, John? Boy, it smells like shit up here. Weird. At a time in which we're looking to lift up local journalism. Too late, too late. Okay.

And next, he's known for his work with The Ringer, as well as his book Basketball and Other Things. You can pre-order his new book, Movies and Other Things. Now, please welcome Shea Serrano. Hey, Shea. John. How you doing? Why did all of your haikus sound like spoken word poetry? Because that's where I trained.

That's how I learned. That's right. That's where I trained. That's how I learned. That's what I thought. In the basement poetry slams of my youth. That's where I cut my teeth. That's where I spent my salad days. Just spitting rhymes. Obviously. Thank you all for being here.

Let's get into it. What a week. As we look to 2020, a big debate going on in the Democratic Party right now is about how the country is changing. Lots of attention is being paid to Ohio and Michigan and states that switched from Obama to Trump in 2016. But at the same time, states like Texas and Georgia are starting to flirt with Democrats in ways we don't hate. In 2016, both Ohio and Texas voted 43% Democratic, but that's a low watermark for recent Ohio elections and a high watermark for Texas. And as Ohio continues to get older, the majority of Texas' citizens are 34 years old or younger, while over 80% of the Ohio population is white, only 44% of the Texas population is. That's why in 2018, Texas Democrats flipped 12 state House seats,

just nine away from the majority. They flipped two state Senate seats. They flipped two U.S. House seats with nine others within 10%, and they flipped hundreds of countywide and local offices. Evan, I wanted to start with you. You know, this has been a dream for Democrats for a while. Do you view flipping Texas in 2020 as realistic, or are we, again, Lucy with the football? So if you mean flipping Texas in terms of the presidential, I don't think if the Democrats put J.J. Watt and Jose Altuve as their ticket that they're going to flip Texas.

You know, these are the... I totally agree. Look, Trump only won Texas by nine points in 2016. That was the second closest election at the presidential level in 20 years. It doesn't make a difference if the Democrats win the presidential. They just have to keep it close. A little bit like Beto ran the closest Senate race. They just have to keep it close. A little bit like Beto ran the closest Senate race.

Beto ran the closest Senate race in Texas in 40 years, lost by fewer than three points. He lost, but the Democrats beat a bunch of Republicans. The game next time is not going to be to win at the presidential level, because that's almost impossible. The trick for Democrats will be keep it close and beat a bunch of Republicans. for Democrats will be keep it close and beat a bunch of Republicans. Shay, do you agree with that? And what do you think people from outside of Texas miss when they talk about Texas politics? I'm going to agree with everything that Evan says because he's incredibly smart. I thought we were here to talk about John Wick, the new movie. Yeah, we can. So if you ask me what people miss about Texas,

I would tell you that I saw John Wick 3 and it's really good. And there you go. Probably what people miss, or what it seems to me that they miss when I'm on Twitter, which is really the only way I interact with the world anymore, they miss that it is a little bit younger, a little bit slicker,

a little bit bluer than maybe they slicker, a little bit bluer than maybe they're anticipating, which we saw with the most recent races, which was really, it felt good to see that stuff happen, you know. Emily, you were born and raised in California. What's up? How do you think people in Texas can turn this state blue? Well, I think it would be a good idea if you guys just one year decided to not end South by Southwest. Just don't end it. And all the people who came out here will just stay and get really invested in local politics. I hate it too. I hate it too. But I hate it, too.

But this is America we're talking about. The future is on the line. You guys are going to have to deal with some more fucking pedicabs. I'm trying to go home. You know what? Shame on

you, alright? All you have to do is endure a permanent tech music nightmare festival, and we can save this country. All the protests and all the marches, all the paying attention, all the tweets, and all you people have to do here in Austin is endure some closed roads

and Elon Musk coming down here to eat barbecue, and it'll be fine. It will all do great. I know it's not ideal, but this is what it's called. This is called sacrifice. It's called being a patriot. Country first. Country first. I'll make one counterpoint, which is every time I come to Austin, the same thing happens.

Oh, you can't get a hotel this week. Like, why not? It's Cryfest. What? Oh, everybody knows this time of year is impossible to get a hotel room. It's Cryfest. A million people come from everywhere to come here and cry in a big group. It's like, alright, so should we do the show next week? No, that's Laughfest. Fuck.

What's after that? Oh, that's Twizzlerfest. That's for people who just love doing crazy sexual things with Twizzlers. A million people come and take every hotel room that weekend. TwizzlerFest, that's for people who just love doing crazy sexual things with Twizzlers. A million people come and take every hotel room that weekend. There's actually a single weekend in late March. No, that's actually taken.

There's a single weekend in, it's the sixth week of January. If you get here then, you can successfully book a hotel room without having to mortgage your house. One of the things people say about Texas is it's a non-voting state. It's an incredibly difficult state to campaign in. Beto O'Rourke famously now went to every county, which is a milestone because it's very hard to do that. One of the things that happened in this race is the Beto campaign did manage to turn out the numbers that they thought they would, but so did the Republicans in this state.

Right. I think that's one of the biggest untold stories of 2018. Not the Democratic turnout, but the Republican turnout. Right. So Ted Cruz, who has, yes, every time, one time I want to say his name and we all have the confidence to not boo, because we obviously don't like him. But Ted Cruz, despite the fact that a lot of people, I think, hold their nose and vote for him, managed to turn on this turnout machine here in Texas. How do you see that playing out in 2020?

The competition between a new wave of younger Democratic voters and efforts to register and turn out new voters and the Republican machine that's become incredibly effective at getting the older, whiter voters of Texas and other states to come out to the polls? So let me say, first of all, the person who yelled voting as the answer to turning the state blue is right. Okay. the answer to turning the state blue is right. Okay? I believe there are enough people in Texas who self-identify as Democrats to elect Democrats. The problem is for Democrats, Democrats don't turn out to vote in the same numbers as Republicans have for the last 25 years. This last election, midterm election, you had 8.3 million people turn out to vote. That was 3.6 million more than the last midterm.

And things changed, right? Who turned out to vote? Who had not turned out four years before? Women, young people, and people of color, all of whom were pissed off, right? It's an absolute article of faith that anger is a greater motivator than joy at election time, and people were angry. So if you look ahead, you're right about the Republicans turning out their guys. And in fact, it was rural Texas.

The big cities voted blue, but rural Texas turned out enough to make Cruz the winner. Next time, the Democrats have to do the same thing in 2020 than they did in 2018, and that is turn out more pissed off people. And if they do that, and if the turnout's like 9 million, 10 million, 11 million, then the state is up for grabs. The tricky thing about that is that means Trump is going to have to do something to piss us off between now and then. And that just feels like such a big variable. Shay, what do you think about that? And what does it take to piss people in Texas off? Oh, not a lot. Not a lot. Even I miss this. A lot of people miss this was we were getting more Democrats that were voting, more young people that were more voting. We're always like, oh,

the older white people are doing this. All the white people are doing that. But there are younger white people as well who are propping up all of that stuff they're coming out just as aggressively it seems to me that the younger people of color are doing as well like that's a battle that we're not accounting for we're sort of ignoring it seems like a lot of the time

I found in Houston when I called them the Rockettes that made people annoyed I don't know if it would be enough to get them to vote. Let's leave it there. When we come back, OK Stop! Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back! Now it's time for OK Stop. You know how it works. We roll a clip, and the panel can say OK Stop at any point to comment. It's obvious that Joe Biden scares Donald Trump.

It might be the aviators. It might be that they once reached for the last slider at a Democratic fundraiser in 2003, and Biden ate the entire burger while he made clear to Donald Trump his eyes were locked on Ivanka. Weird. Intimidating. But Trump tweets about him nonstop. Trump is on the attack, so much so that Trump sent his

fiercest attack dog to Fox News, a man I've never heard of before. It says here his name is Anthony Scaramucci. Let's take a look. Anthony Scaramucci, a man who has never stayed in his lane. How about that transition? Every lane is my lane, Ed. Every lane. That was good, though. I thought you were going to say something worse. I thought I was going to blow you up.

Just flagging, this small talk is brutal. It is brutal. Something about lanes and staying in them. He doesn't have a lane. He dyed his hair. That's like the only thing on my mind. Scaramucci dyed his hair. He's gone to an Auburn

shade. And I don't know what it means. Good morning, everybody. I like your new book title, by the way. It's Trump, the blue collar president. Oh, that makes the liberals crazy. Okay, stop. What is the fucking Venn diagram of people interested

in Anthony Scaramucci's thoughts on economic dislocation and Trump's appeal to Midwestern Americans and people who can read a book? Because if you've ever seen Trump's apartment up on Fifth Avenue, it looks like Louis XIV smoked crystal meth and decorated the apartment.

Okay, stop. Pretty good. He carries his tension in his neck. That much is clear. His tension may be some nuts for winter. I don't know. Have you ever seen that apartment? It's unbelievable. may be some nuts for winter. I don't know. Have you ever seen that apartment? I have seen photos of it.

But, you know, he captured the blue-collar people. He's going to do it again. It's like the last two years were a big complaint from the Democrats because Trump went into their lane, but they didn't change because he's still the president. But they couldn't find a way to beat him, and so they had to start making up stories about why he won. Okay, so now you have two and a half years of that.

As I was saying, you went from Mueller time to the bar-b-que. Okay, stop. Jesus Christ. These are terrible lines. Just terrible. And he worked on them for a long time, you can tell.

He had the time. He's making sure he gets them right. Because he's looking right in the camera right after he said it. He's like, I fucking nailed that one. I also just... I feel like... So he was in the White House for like 25 minutes. Yeah. This segment is longer than he was in the White House.

That's right. And he's written a book, I'm assuming praising President Trump, otherwise he wouldn't be on this show. Right. That's pretty pathetic, right? He's like obsessed with an ex who he really only made out with one time.

But he's acting like they got engaged and it's like a big deal in his life or something. Was there a brainstorming session where he was coming up with the title of his book and he was like, I want to have a color and like a piece of clothing, but white hood probably won't work. So blue collar. Let's go blue collar. It's also just not true, right? There's this idea that Trump appealed to the struggling white working class of America,

but actually when you dive into the numbers, it was the people doing better in parts of the country doing worse, right? That was what the data showed, that everywhere you look, it's people doing slightly better than the mean, or the people that turned out, even among white voters, that turned out for Donald Trump. But of course, there's this myth now that he was had this appeal to

the downtrodden, which actually just doesn't bear out in the data. But whatever. I don't go to Anthony Scaramucci for that. I go to Vox. Also the way he phrased it was like he captured the blue collar vote. That doesn't make him blue collar. A tuna fisherman is not a tuna.

Like. Also, I think people with non-white skin can also wear blue collars. I think that he doesn't actually mean blue-collar America. He means a small subset of people who work for a living who are white. The defensive maneuver to go after the investigators, let somebody else focus on that. We need the president's time and energy on all the good things that he's capable of doing in his

instincts. With Joe Biden running the White House. Okay, stop. That's one of those things that people say all the time that's like a kind of banal lie but is obviously a lie. We need, look, being president's a tough job all right and

we need donald trump focus at that desk doing what he does best reading policy documents processing the information coming to a conclusion delivering it to his trusted aides those aides go out and turn that direction into movement of the government on matters important to all of us. That's what he does every day from 11.30 p.m. to 12.15 p.m. Before lunch number one. The investigator's point becomes stronger because now he's tied to that administration. And people are going to have questions for him as to what did you know? What did President Obama know? What was going on here that justified this investigation?

When the time is right and he goes into the president's crosshairs, it's going to be a rough time for Vice President Biden. But a great debate. That debate stage, man. Popcorn would be wonderful. It'll be fun. Remember, the president... It's going to be a great debate

when Trump faces Biden. Austin, let's just... I want to do... Just quick. I'm going to say some names and just tell me where your head is at right now. Chill out about it.

Just respond positively for the person you're interested in. I'm going to do a few of the names because I can't do all of them because there's a thousand. I'm just curious for a few of the names because I can't do all of them because there's a thousand. I'm just curious for fun right now. I'm going to go in order of the last

poll I saw. Biden. Buttigieg. Look at that. Beto. Warrant. Whoa! That's it.

Wow. Wow. That's genuinely interesting. Bernie. Kamala. Corey. Corey. Gillibrand. Hickenlooper.

Tim Ryan. Shut up. Gravel. Okay. If there's a pause before you applaud, I know you're full of shit. Hooli and Castro. Klobuchar.

Klobuchar. Detective Pikachu. Redesigned Sonic. Original Designed Sonic. Interesting. Original Design Sonic. Interesting. It's split. After you got past, I think, Harris, all of the names you said before you got to Detective Pikachu,

I did not know. So, Shay's vote, still out there to be gotten. That's the lesson for all those campaigns. That's okay, stop. We come back. We'll play a game. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It,

and there's more on the way. And we're back. The Alamo. A moment in history I remember perfectly. Who could forget what happened at the Alamo. A moment in history I remember perfectly. Who could forget what happened at the Alamo was that there were men inside and other guys were outside, and we remember it. Look, we get history wrong all the time.

We're busy. We have seven years and 70 episodes of fantasy dragon epics to catch up on. And often the pop history we do remember is not close to the truth. We love myths, but history can be in short supply, not unlike the ribs at Franklin's. Just make more.

So we thought we'd play a game that we're calling History is Written by the Winners, and the winners were basically like, we were good. Like when your husband tells you a story about an argument at work, and you realize the other person in the fight is telling the opposite version to his husband, and his version is more sympathetic. Texas edition. And just like Avengers Endgame, I snuck in a same-sex couple into the story because I'm a hero.

Would someone out there like to play the game? We got Travis out there. Hi, what's your name? Caitlin. Hi, Caitlin. You're like, boo, that name sounds young to us. Where are you from, Caitlin? I live here,

from outside of Houston originally. Great, and now you live in Austin. I've lived in Austin six years, also? I live here from outside of Houston originally. Great. And now you live in Austin. I've lived in Austin six years, also went to college here. And what is your favorite barbecue place in the Austin environs? I'm gonna say Franklin's. Okay, okay. People are gonna boo.

I am very interested in your vibe for the last 30 seconds. Don't get it totally. That's fine. Are you ready? Caitlin. Sure. Yes.

Give it up for Caitlin. Lyndon B. Johnson passed the Civil Rights Act and is often considered one of Texas' most important political figures. Which of the following is a true part of LBJ's legacy often ignored by historians? Is it A? LBJ once forced Vice President Hubert Humphrey to hold a

meeting with him while he was sitting on the toilet. The historian Doris Kearns Goodwin used to work for him and recalling those bathroom meetings she said, you get sort of used to it. Or is it be. If someone he knew walked into a Capitol bathroom while LBJ was using the urinal,

he liked to whip around real fast to face them and say, have you ever seen anything as big as this? LBJ called his penis jumbo. According to Robert Caro's biography, he bragged about it constantly. Or as it constantly. Or is it C? LBJ once urinated on a Secret Service agent as a prank. What do you think, Caitlin? It was which is true or which is...

Which was true. They're saying all of them. I think it's C. I'm going to say you got it. It was all of the above. It's what you wanted to say. Caitlin is not a cheater. All right, let's give her an X.

I respect the hell out of that, Caitlin. I like the integrity that you bring to this. You're wearing that straight shooter shirt with pride. John, John. Is there more, like, bathroom-based LBJ lore, or? I am sure. I mean, given that we found three facts, and one of them is calling his own penis jumbo,

which is very chill, that can't be the end of it. All right. I know there's an LBJ museum here, but I don't know how much they talk about his bathroom stuff there. I can tell you that there is no jumbo exhibit. That's disappointing.

That would have been the one thing I went in there for. That would be like the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. Every other exhibit is empty, and there's just a 45-minute wait to see jumbo. Give me jumbo. Every presidential museum should have at the very end that president's penis.

Let's see what they were working through. Were they overconfident? Were they insecure? What led them to create that specific era of unending war? I also have a good reason would get a female president. Also a good reason to have a female president. Question two.

In 2017, a teacher at an Austin middle school got in trouble after telling one of her students to go back to Mexico. Other than being heinous and racist, what else did the teacher get wrong? Is it A? The kid was from Bavaria, wearing traditional Lederhosen and performing a traditional dance called the Schluplatter. Scene was as baffling as it was adorable. I screwed that up a lot.

Great. Thank you. You did so good. Thank you. So maybe he was a little Bavarian boy in Lederhosen Doing the Schulz Plaza Or is it B? It's 2019 and it is not appropriate To give any child a command

You need to say Wouldn't it be nice to go back to Mexico? Or It would make me happy If you went back to Mexico Because in this school We create a positive environment for children who will never receive negative feedback until they are 22-year-old confidence monsters

asking for a promotion every three days. Or is it C? Texas was Mexico. Someone who was a Mexican citizen could have become a United States citizen by never actually moving. What do you think, Caitlin? I'd say C.

You got it. Question three. It's often suggested that Texas is the real America, unlike people like me from Jew York City. And yet, why is that pretty wrong? Is it A? Because a real America is Ferrera.

Or is it B? The real America is inside all of us, in our hearts. Whenever a child looks up at a 4th of July fireworks display, or a drunk frat guy is struck and killed by a roller coaster while trying to retrieve the hat he lost earlier. That, friends, is the real America. Or is it C? Less than 20 years after joining the Union, Texas seceded to join the Confederacy. Before that, it was an independent country. Before that, it was part of Mexico. Before that, it was part of France and Spain.

So why don't you all go back to Marseille? What do you think, Caitlin? It's all of the above. It's mostly C, but it's all of the above. You're right. The quiz was wrong. We'll have to go back to the drawing board. Checks out.

Turn the tables, Caitlin. It's never happened before. Question four. Where did the phrase, don't mess with Texas, come from? Is it A? It was an anti-littering campaign in the 1980s. And guess what? It didn't work.

You love pollution, Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas, including the carbon footprint. If you took the carbon emissions of the number two state, California, and added it to the emissions of the number three state, Florida, it's still less than what Texas is putting out there. Congrats. Why'd I have to read that one? You should have let Emily do it.

Yeah. No, that was a tough pull, for sure. Or is it B? It was originally supposed to be a popcorn film for Metro called A Dame Messes With Texas, but it was canceled when Louis B. Mayer shouted, Nobody wants to see a woman in a picture about horses. Years later, the story would be reworked,

and you know it as a movie called Detective Pikachu. Or is it C? The original line was, don't mess with Delaware, but you couldn't let them have one thing, could you, Texas? What do you think, Caitlin? It's A.

You got it. And you've won the game and a parachute gift card. Guys, give it up for Caitlin. Thank you so much for playing. When we come back, we'll have a game about objects and a certain presidential candidate

who likes to stand on them. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Texas's own Beto O'Rourke. He's like if the English teacher who played acoustic guitar in class ran for president. The presidential race is heating up and everyone is picking their angle. Jay Inslee is standing up to climate change. Elizabeth Warren is standing up against big business. And Beto O'Rourke is standing on top of things. We love Beto, who recently put out a particularly aggressive climate change plan himself.

But he also loves standing on things. Here's Beto standing on a minivan. Here's Beto standing on a tree stump. Here's Beto standing on a tree stump. Here's Beto standing on a countertop but then kneeling to get closer to someone instead of not standing on the countertop. Honestly, the biggest threat to his candidacy is a ceiling fan. So we thought we'd dive a little deeper into this important issue with a game we're calling Should Beto Stand on That?

I will read a scenario and the panelists are going to debate whether or not Beto should stand on the thing I'm describing. After some intense debate, I will decide who wins each round. Somehow. Beto is in Iowa, two weeks before the caucus, and a group of progressive bikers are debating who they should caucus for. Some, like Warren, detail proposals.

Others think it's time to give Mike Gravel a shot. Beto senses an opportunity, but there is only one clear place to stand, on top of a beautifully customized Harley Davidson motorcycle. One biker indicates to go for it, but another off to the side furrows his brow and scowls menacingly. Should Beto stand on that motorcycle?

It's a terrible idea. It's a terrible idea. I've watched enough Sons of Anarchy episodes to know that you do not stand on a motorcycle. However, as soon as I said that, I remembered I've seen enough Mission Impossible movies to know that you do stand on a motorcycle. So now I'm stuck.

Now I'm stuck. Is it the type of thing where, like, if you're in a biker gang and someone stands on your motorcycle, they get your jacket? It's like some kind of power move. Like a Pee Wee Herman situation? On the bike in the park? Yeah, so that's my fear.

My fear is Beto stands on the Harley Davidson motorcycle. It falls over. All the bikers come out and see it. They drag Beto into the bar. Right when Beto's about to get destroyed, he has to get up on the bar and put on a pair of some sort of shoes that I realize at this point I've never looked up since I saw it as a child and dance on top of the bar, a crazy dance that appealed to me as a child so much. I'm now at this very moment realizing it was the moment I became gay. So you're all wrong. He should stand on it. That's what I said.

Emily was right. You were both wrong. I think we need to clarify, though, what type of stance this is. Because if you're going two feet on the seat, no good. You've got to go foot on the seat, foot on the handlebars to really deliver it. That is cool.

I was picturing it wrong, but that's because I don't think I could have pulled it off. You're right. You've got to get one foot on the handlebars, one foot on the seat, kind of a straddle. Very confident. A masculine position atop that bike. Toes on the nose. Hell yeah. It's a balance issue, though.

He's going to fall off that bike. So Evan bringing some hard, unbiased, journalistic... Unbiased. Nonpartisan. Integrity to this debate and I appreciate that as well. He's going to knock that bike over and they're going to beat his ass. That's what's going to happen, unfortunately.

Okay, okay, okay. Alright. It's a draw. Next one. Beto's in New Hampshire in one of those small woodsy towns where they probably elect a golden retriever as mayor. Unfortunately, their golden retriever mayor passed away just a few days before, and Beto is attending the memorial service.

The crowd calls for Beto to speak at a pet cemetery. Unfortunately, there is only one place to stand atop the newly carved gravestone of Mayor Pepper Chuselot. He hesitates, but the crowd urges him to climb on. Should Beto stand on the gravestone of their dead dog mayor? I vote yes.

Sure. You guys are true wild cards, and you are underestimating the people who clearly are numerous enough that they make the bumper stickers that say, I have a dog and I vote. We know they vote. Don't stand on the dog grave. Those people will come after you. I think you have to do it. And then that's the beginning of a new scary movie. That's how Pet Sematary, the new one starts.

That's some live free or die stuff right there, right? Here's the saddest thing. Zombie Mayor Chuselot just got 65,000 donors and will be on the debate stage. Emily is correct. What? Can't stand on that tombstone. I'm sorry. I don't make the rules.

In Texas, we stand on tombstones. Evan, back me up. Seriously, yes. What a place, huh? This is some wild country, right? Final question. Beto's campaign has brought him to the heart of Bangladesh, where he thought he'd have to go to clear his head

and work on some poetry for his live journal. Deep amongst the mangroves in the Bay of Bengal, Beto stumbles upon a group of superdelegates colluding in secret to discuss who to rig the primary in favor of. They're about to throw their support behind the unbeatable Eric Swalwell when Beto realizes he only has one last shot.

He looks around for something to stand on when he sees it. A sleeping tiger, one of just 200 remaining inside the Sunderbands. Time is running out. Should Beto stand on top of this graceful Endangered creature If y'all say yes

After we did the tombstone thing This is unfair I'm going to vote yes again Stand on the tiger And fucking ride it like a surfboard Through the city While you're speaking Compelling.

Evan? I say yes, but he has to do air drumming to Eye of the Tiger, actually, when he does it. Interesting. Interesting. I'm going to say no. Because think about the word should. Does that imply a moral imperative or a utilitarian imperative based on his own needs? At this point, I feel like he's got to put the needs of the world against his own presidency.

We've been up here for like, I don't know, 15 minutes now. And every time you put the mic to your face, I have no idea what's going to come out. I have no idea at all. That's the beauty of it. That's the beauty of it. It's an interesting problem, right? I mean, I've thought about it, and I think it's the kind of thing where Beto will be at a crossroads because it's no longer choosing, do I do what it takes to win, or do I go back to Texas?

It's, do I take a chance on a surefire way to become president or do I die at the hands of this tiger? And here's the thing about Beto. He runs like he has nothing to lose. So I say, Beto, you ride that tiger. Yeah! Bonus question. Here's a photo of Beto talking to a large crowd of students.

He's on a staircase overlooking them all, but then on that staircase, he is also standing on a tiny little apple box. Why? And like this is an episode of 24, I will say, can we enhance that? All right. Should Beto be standing on that Apple box?

You can tell by his face that he didn't know there were going to be people still higher than him, and he's panicked right now. He has no idea what to do. He's like, give me more of these boxes. Bring me 200 of these boxes. Bring me 200 of these boxes. I've got to get up.

Unless there's somehow an easier way to raise my elevation in this room, but I'm not seeing one. Boxes. Only boxes. Evan? No, he should not be on that box. It really doesn't make sense. It makes no sense at all.

He could step off that box and step up one stair. Right. And he'd be at the exact same height. And he'd be taller. He would be taller. Yeah. I mean, at this point, it's just weird, right? Unless he was giving a speech

where he was explaining how they shoot Tom Cruise movies. Oh, that's a good joke. And that's, should Beto stand on that. We come back. It's time for the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back!

Now it's time for the rant wheel. You know how it works. We spin the wheel, and wherever it lands, we rant about the topic. This week on the wheel, we have LuLaRoe leggings. That is something... That was Shay's suggestion. I'm excited to learn what that's about. We have El Chicano.

We have Politicians Who Don't Debate, the Beyond Meat IPO, Disney's Blockbuster Monopoly, Melania Trump's Be Best campaign marks a one-year anniversary, scooter copycats and candidate profiles let's spin the wheel it has landed on bird scooter copycats. Listen, I have staked out a pretty firm position. I am pro-scooter. I am not pro-people parking them in the middle of the sidewalk like sociopaths. I am not pro-people putting them in front of parking places like sociopaths. And I'm also very troubled by how quickly Bird has faced an incredible amount of competition by copycat companies that just said, we're going to do it too. Because now my street

in LA is littered with half a dozen different color scooters, which all require a different app, some associated with Lyft, some associated with Uber, all of them trying to get in on the action, when they should do what we do in America now, which is use venture capital money and private equity money to acquire another company and create a giant, indefatigable monopoly. That's the goal. I don't understand.

There shouldn't be five kinds of scooters. This is America. We only have two kinds of anything. So that's bullshit. There should not be four kinds of anything. We have three kinds of airlines, three kinds of movie-making companies. This is another rant that I'm now folding into this rant. Three kinds of coffee, three kinds of restaurants.

That's it. Everybody needs to chill out. Five kinds of scooters? What is this, France? But apparently the bird Company is having trouble keeping their head above water with all these scooter upstarts because apparently they were not ready for just how hard on these scooters Americans were going to be. We treat these scooters like rental cars, and we treat rental cars like absolute horseshit.

All this is a way of saying, I don't think it's very, look, not saying it's illegal. Bird doesn't get to walk around and say, we invented scooters. And certainly they did not invent leaving a piece of shit scooter on the street. People have been doing that in America for a very long time. But it is a bit shifty to be like, yeah, we're a scooter company too. Fuck you, Bird. Because all I want is for there to be sustainable street scooters that I can unlock with my app so that I can get from the gym to Starbucks like the douchey piece of shit that I am. Let's spin it again.

It has landed on politicians who don't debate, which was suggested by Evan. So here's an idea. The people we elect work for us. And yet they've decided, because many of our elections aren't competitive, that they can cut us out of the whole equation. They don't have to come home and ask to be rehired. They don't have to put themselves up on a stage with somebody who has a different idea and test out whether we like their idea or their opponent's idea better. They can just say, we don't have to debate. We don't have to talk to the press.

We don't have to do town halls. We don't have to be held accountable. This is the thing that is killing us, is that people who work for us won't have the balls to come before us and face real questions and be held accountable, any politician of any party who doesn't debate their opponents, we should say, all of us, we're not voting for you. Can I ask you a question about that? Because it seems like what's happening is we've gone from the media being able to kind of put politicians in front of voters to politicians being in a position to choose their

media and choose their voters choose their voters so do you see any i mean one of the lessons to me of the past two years is uh it turns out that there were a lot of ways our politics was popped up by kind of social norms about how to be fair, how to be forthright, how to participate, that once a few politicians like Trump and McConnell and others figured out you could put them aside, there weren't a lot of political ramifications for not, say, doing a debate or not being forthright. Do you see anything that could change that? Well, I think, first of all, norms for the moment are dead. Let's hope that norms come back. But at the moment, anything that we knew was normal is gone.

The second thing is these politicians have figured out that they can get around us in the media and go directly to the people they want to vote for them through social media or newsletters or some other bullshit. Because that's what it is. In most cases, when they communicate with voters and cut us out in the middle, it's bullshit. They need to be held accountable. We need to hold them accountable. And the thing is, if we stand down and let them get away with it, they will. The job is all of us, voters, the media, have got to say we're going to chase after them and hold them accountable whether they like it or not. All right. Let's spin it again.

It has landed on El Chicano, suggested by Shay. By the Mexican. Yes. This is a movie that just came out. Nobody is talking about it. Nobody is going to watch it. I've never heard of it. I'm learning about it right here on this stage.

That sounds right. That sounds exactly right. It's one of the few movies that has an all Latinx cast. It's beautiful. I mean, look, I went and watched it when it came out, and I had to be there. Same as when Coco came out. Same as when Miss Bala came out.

Same as when Lowrider came out. These are real movies that I'm not making up. It was like me and two other people in the theater every time. This is not, it's not a good movie. But I'm telling everybody that I loved it. And you should all go see it. It's really, really, it's the best movie I've ever seen. And I want everybody to go support it.

Desperately. It's just cool that we're that we're finally getting to a spot where we're making movies with these casts. And even if they're not good, it's still cool that it's happening. So we should all go... Because it's the best movie that I've ever seen. And I want to make sure that's on the record.

The best. Don't ask me any questions about any of the things I've said, except unless it's to talk about the best movie of all time. El Chicano. He's a superhero in East Los Angeles with no superpowers.

He has a motorcycle that one could stand on. And he kills a couple of people. And that's the whole movie. And I loved it. It's the best movie probably that's ever stand on. And he kills a couple of people. And that's the whole movie. And I loved it. It's the best movie probably that's ever been made. Let me ask you this.

Let me ask you this. Compare it to John Wick 3. This is several times better than John Wick 3. You heard it here first. El Chicano, multiple times better than John Wick 3, even though, let's be honest, it seems like he may not be being totally honest about it. But we're all going to go see it

because we do whatever Shea tells us to do. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Lula Roe leggings. I have no idea what this is about. Cannot wait to learn more. Emily, take us away. Well, as you can hear, a lot of people in this audience know what LuLaRoe leggings are, right? So, LuLaRoe is a multi-level marketing company, also known as a pyramid scheme. They recruit women, primarily women, especially very religious women who are expected not to have jobs, who are

expected to stay home with their kids, and they tell them that it's a good investment to start selling these ugly fucking leggings to their close friends and to recruit their friends to also sell the leggings and that

that is a way to earn some extra money on the side. A report came out recently that over 100 women have filed for bankruptcy after selling LuLaRoe leggings. And all of the studies that have been done about multi-level marketing show that the most conservative estimate is that 99.1% of people who participate in a multi-level marketing company lose money doing so. that they are able to orgasm simply from intercourse with no clitoral stimulation is about 18%. Which means you are 18 times more likely to come from a dude just sticking it in

than you are to make money from an MLM. Now, part of the reason why we don't talk about the failure rate of multi-level marketing companies is because, just like the female orgasm, these companies make you feel like it's your fault if it doesn't work out for you. That is their whole business model, is to tell the people who have a statistical impossibility of succeeding at the thing that they signed up for

that the reason they are failing is because they didn't try hard enough. And then they don't talk about their failures because they've convinced all of the people that they know and trust to get on board too. They've leveraged their personal relationships, which for women is one of the most valuable resources we have. have. They take advantage of any small glimmer of hope at a better life that women have, and they've exploited it so that people like Betsy DeVos, who made most of her money from Amway, a multi-level marketing company, can buy their way into our government and ruin our public schools. Obviously, this infuriates me.

And I know that there's a lot of shame associated with women who feel like they can't tell other people that they failed at multi-level marketing, even though it's not their fault. But what I want to encourage all of these women to do, because you all know them, there might be some of you in the crowd tonight, everyone that I've talked to knows someone who has been involved in an MLM, and very few of us are talking about them. What I think we need to do is to convert these social hierarchies, these pyramids that we have built for these bullshit companies and instead teach people about

the clit. If you want hope for a better life, you'll get way more out of it than you will from selling Lula Roe leggings. I can't wait for my dad to hear this episode. Give Emily her own show? You guys want to know something?

I've been trying to give Emily her own show. I can't... I don't know what to do to make Emily... Guys, tell Emily Heller that she should do a podcast with Crooked Media. What's it going to take? You don't want to hear the podcast I want to make. Don't we want to hear the podcast she wants to make?

It's called How Do You Wipe? And I interview different celebrities about what they do in the bathroom. Sometimes the episode is 30 seconds long. How do you sell an ad for Parachute against that? We can get it done. Before we go, Shay, do you have anything to add to these lovely people in Texas?

Yeah, I'm still in my head thinking about the leggings answer it was a masterpiece it really was if I can really quickly plug another podcast called The Dream it's about multi-level marketing it's like got

12 episodes it digs deep on all of the reasons why these companies have proliferated and it's's going to make you so mad. And Evan, one thing before we go. What can the people in this crowd do to support local journalism? Give money to support journalism. Subscribe. Donate.

But here's the most important thing. Forget about journalism. Save our democracy. Vote. That's all I'm going to say. Save our democracy. Vote. That's all I'm going to say. I want to thank this incredible panel.

Evan Smith, Shea Serrano, Emily Heller, who's been awesome in all of Texas. I want to thank the Moody Theater. I want to thank the city of Austin. I want to thank Nancy Pelosi. Have a great night. Thank you. Love it or leave it, just love it or leave it.