Lovett or Leave It - Beware Greek Ambassadors Bearing Grifts
Episode Date: October 9, 2026Kimberly Guilfoyle maxes out her MAGA credit card, Trump suggests L.A. and San Diego foot the bill, and Lovett checks California liberals on the problems in our own backyard. This week, Sarah McBride... and Derek Tran talk about the fight to win the House, and govern if (hopefully when) we do. Tig Notaro weighs in on Steve Hilton’s gay-baiting campaign ad, the existence of Stella Lefty, and the comedy stylings of an AI thief. The Rant Wheel spins us through reality TV, airport bathrooms, and the design of sardine tins. And we put our brains together to brainstorm some valuable Second Thoughts.Hate listening to ads? Become a Friends of the Pod subscriber for ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, Pod Save the World, Lovett or Leave It, Runaway Country, Offline with Jon Favreau, and more—plus exclusive content, including bonus episodes of Pod Save America. Subscribe now at crooked.com/friends, on Apple Podcasts, or through the Pod Save America YouTube channel.To watch this episode with subtitles, click here and turn on closed captions (CC).You can request a transcript by emailing transcripts@crooked.com. Include the podcast name, episode title, and air date. Please allow 48 hours for delivery.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up it or leave it?
It's love it or leave it.
What's up, Los Angeles?
Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood.
A special shout out to our viewers on MS Now.
I'm John Lovett, former presidential speechwriter,
Rachel Maddow's Wario, and host of the funniest show you are currently watching.
Tonight on the show, Congresswoman Sarah McBride, Congressman Derek Tran,
and the great Tignitaro are here.
But first, let's get into it.
What a week.
On Wednesday, the Waller.
Street Journal reported that Kimberly Guilfoyle, the U.S. ambassador to Greece, an erstwhile
fiancé to Donald Trump Jr., participated in a shockingly brazen bribery scheme by big fat
Greek scandal, they're calling it. According to the report, Gilfoyle asked Trump donor Eric
Dieters for $100,000 to pay down her American Express bill just ahead of her confirmation
hearing. And while we didn't previously know that Kimberly Gilfoyle was $100,000, deep in
credit card debt, we didn't.
sort of spiritually, instinctively know, right?
We knew Kimberly Gilfoyle was in credit card debt
the way freshly hatched sea turtles
know they must crawl to the ocean.
Ironically, being deeply in debt
and not knowing how to pay it back
made her a perfect fit for Greece.
See, some of the jokes
are at the expense of Republicans,
but occasionally, Greece is going to take a shot, you know?
Gilfoyle was privately lobbying
the Trump administration to help Dieters
with IRS and legal issues in exchange for up to $1 million if she was successful.
She was not successful, as hard as she tried, much like this convention speech.
Leaders and fighters' trust is yet to come.
Very, very forceful speech, Jake, from Kimberly Gilfell.
Forceful is one word for it.
But she still texted Dieters, asking for the additional $100,000 in a way that would not
leave a paper trail. And it is smart to leave a paper trail when you're asking for no paper trail
so that anyone who might look for a paper trail will see that you were too smart to leave a paper
trail and call off the search. Wrote Gilfoyle, it won't show up anywhere if you wire money to
American Express. That's all it will show, please. It won't show up anywhere. Not the Wall Street
Journal, not John Lovett's opening monologue, not anywhere. Gilfoyle also texted,
honey, please, I need you to get this done for me today,
along with the praying emoji and a PDF
with payment instructions via the signal app.
Why am I on this? replied the Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg.
Deeters, however, did not send her the money,
telling Gilfoyle that it would end his marriage.
Boy, every relationship has its own challenges.
My mother was right about what she said at our wedding.
One day you would send a bribe to the ambassador to Greece.
But hey, sometimes any...
a marriage is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Just ask Gavin Newsom. He was married to Kimberly
Guilfoyle. He didn't know. He's got to make sure people know. Isn't that wild? Life is long,
you know? Life is long. Dieter's also told Guilfoyle, he would pay her $1 million if she could
land him an interview on Tucker Carlson show, which also never materialized. I have an in with him,
insisted Gilfoyle. You know that demon, he says, attacked him while he was sleeping? That was me.
This is the biggest failure to secure $1 million
since by Wednesday night appearance on who wants to be a millionaire.
Yeah, sure.
Dieter's and a local guitarist had also written a song called Kentucky Outlaw
that he wanted Guilfoyle to show Kid Rock.
That's real.
Here is a taste of the song which we can legally play
as long as we comment on it.
That sucks.
The Wall Street Journal also has a...
obtained screenshots in which Gilfoyle warned Dieters to stop talking about their corrupt arrangements
in texts and emails. In January of 2025, weeks after her nomination to the ambassadorship,
Gilfoyle complained that Dieter's had told one of her podcast producers about their deal.
She wrote, it's unbelievable when we have a private arrangement with you that you would now
see-see a producer talking about the money. Good luck, babe. Your podcast producers are going to know
everything about you. There is no way around it. Oh, that reminds me. I have to kill producer
Bill.
added gilfoyle you'll literally cost me my ambassadorship stop writing see kim you're worried over nothing it didn't cost you your ambassadorship it does mean that you now need a pardon from donald trump the father of your ex-fiancee which even if you're on cordial terms isn't necessarily a lock i am on perfectly good terms with my almost mother-in-law mia faro and i don't believe she'd want me to go to federal prison but until she signed the paperwork i would be nervous meanwhile trump said this week that the administration
does not at present believe that a plague bio weapon has escaped from a Russian lab.
They're saying it's very much under control. So we hope not, Peter.
We've heard this before a couple years ago during your first term.
Are you getting the same vibe right now from Russia that he got from China at the start of COVID?
Well, China didn't say much, and Russia's not saying much either, but they do say they have it very much under control.
Cool, cool, cool, very reassuring. Very reassuring. Hey, should we be worried that Dr. Fauci is driving from
Costco to Costco buying all the toilet paper?
According to a new report in the Atlantic, the White House
has asked the Pentagon to draw up plans for a strike
in Iran to take place before election day
with the hopes of giving the GOP a boost in the midterms.
And yet, on Thursday, Trump ruled out a strike,
writing on True Social, we will not be attacking Iran
at any time prior to the midterm elections
to be held in the United States on November 3rd.
Said one Iranian commander running from the bunker,
we are going to have the best fucking month of our lives,
hoping against hope that at least one of the other commanders
also really, really wants to kiss?
It's a welcome change after Trump suggested Iran
go ahead and blow up San Diego
where Pete Hegseth traveled to greet the returning sailors
of the USS Abraham Lincoln.
Here he is running behind the Marines
at Air Station Miramar.
Look, Hegseth is 46.
It makes sense that he can't keep up with active-duty Marines.
It would be pretty tough
even if he weren't sweating out pure gin.
Heg said there's a world-class schmuck
who should be impeached
and ultimately sent to prison for war crimes.
but I saw a lot of people mocking him
for his athletic prowess from the safety of their keyboards.
I just know that Heggseth and I,
while having very little in common,
share the same reaction to being in our mid-40s,
complete and total denial,
because right now I too believe I can keep up with those Marines.
Hate to fall behind, but love to bring up the rear, am I right?
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Crooked media on MS now.
All right.
Not that Hegeseth kept my sympathies for long,
because on Thursday, while aboard the USS Lincoln,
Defense Secretary said the public will be able to watch a live stream of the firing squad
when it executes former Army Major Nadal Hassan who killed 12 soldiers and one civilian at Fort Hood in
2009.
We know what it is.
It was a radical Islamist attack in uniform inside the ranks.
And so he's going to get a firing squad of soldiers, as it should be.
And we'll make sure that people are able to watch it, that it's public, because people need
to understand that this is a, there's serious consequences for these types of things.
That's smart, Pete.
Only problem.
It's not exactly a deterrent for mass shooters
craving infamy and attention
who want to go out in a blaze of glory
to stream their dramatic and exciting execution
to the public.
One way to potentially create more mass shootings
is to launch a new reality show called
So You Think You Can Shoot Us.
Speaking of gruesome reality shows
and yet more leaked audio
and a clip that is incredibly the most damning yet,
Texas Republican Attorney General and, yes ladies,
he's single, Ken Paxson,
talks at a private fundraiser
about cutting programs
like Social Security and Medicare.
Making some reasonable cuts and mandatory spending.
You're going to have to do it.
Or we work going to be, there is no solution.
That's just a reality.
We have to suck it up.
We've been spending like crazy and no one seems to care.
I agree.
It's going to bankrupt.
I would really like to pay my fair share of taxes,
which is less than I'm paying.
Quite the cut up, that Republican lady.
Ellen Les Generous over here.
If you actually listen really closely,
You also hear James Tilariko whisper into the microphone.
I'm James Talariko, and I approve this message.
Meanwhile, Maine Senator Susan Collins squared off against her Democratic opponent, Troy Jackson.
In a debate Tuesday, they focused on the impact of tariffs on Maine.
Troy mocked it, but I was successful in getting concrete, pulp, and road salt removed from the tariff list.
I didn't mock the fact that she got road salt back.
the fact that what about everything else?
I mean, we can't eat road salt.
Maybe you can't eat road salt, said Health and Human Services
Secretary RFK Jr., chowing down on a flattened possum
he described as dry brine.
In sexier news, New York Democratic congressional candidate
Chris Gallant responded to a recent uncovered
X-rated BDSM photo he took several years ago
as part of an ad campaign for a fetish brand.
Gallant would have addressed this earlier,
but he was under a gag order.
Going back to less sexy news again, on Bill Mars show, author and journalist Anon Giridardis, made an important point about homelessness.
A pretty large chunk of those people end up in cities were failed in some other parts of this country.
There are a lot of families who fail the first duty of family, which is to love your kids more than any other thing.
And there's a lot of families in this country that look at some verse in some book and choose the verse in the book over their child's face.
Every time someone is sleeping on a subway bench in a city,
the rest of America can sort of say,
oh, look at these cities.
But we are holding a lot of your people
who you fail to love and take care of.
The clip has gone viral with a lot of people praising his point.
This is how it's done.
You never hear about this in the media.
And the secret to a perfect poach egg
from a Michelin chef,
though I do think that last one is just my algorithm.
And it's true, there is a long history
of cities like San Francisco and Los Angeles
being a refuge for young people,
escaping hostile families and seeking a life
where they could be gay or trans or whatever else in places with fewer bounds and greater possibility.
There's a reason there are so many songs about California.
It's been a beacon of freedom, opportunity, and hot shirtless guys on roller skates for a long time.
But this is a trap.
Fox News blames every conceivable ill on the depraved coastal elites, on immigrants, on socialist, and trans people.
It's to lay guilt and provide an easy, satisfying answer, a confirmation of their viewer's moral superiority.
And we can't slip into that same mentality as good as it might feel.
I'm sure slipping into the Libre of Tar Pits feels awesome for a minute.
Last year, USC found as part of the 2025 Greater Los Angeles Homeless Count
that nearly 80% of unhoused people had lived in Los Angeles County for more than five years before losing housing.
The California's statewide study of people experiencing homelessness out of UC San Francisco found that nine and ten unhoused people were residents of California when they became homeless.
According to LA's own homelessness agency, the unhoused are not for the most part made up of outsiders.
They are people who live in our communities, but may have been priced out by an ever-increasing housing market.
We see ourselves as morally superior, tolerant and welcoming and compassionate, but that is a lie.
Oh, Alabama kicks their kids out because of the Bible.
L.A. kicks people out because we won't allow construction of buildings over seven stories.
California's get priced out of housing every day, and where do they end up going?
Conservative Texas, which, by the way, has built more solar and wind power.
I heard they even have a vegan running for Senate.
And for those who stay in L.A., how many live in L.A., how many live in L.A.,
far from their job, sitting in traffic on crumbling roads, or waiting for slow and unreliable
buses that require budgeting hours just to get to work, while our mayor and city council
block housing construction, and our leaders hold a press conference to celebrate a new 10-mile
transit line that won't be running till 2047 if we're lucky. On the bright side, if we all get in our
cars now, we can arrive at the new K-line station right when it opens. By the way, LA's Homelessness
agency, the one I mentioned earlier, it has wasted hundreds of millions of dollars through mismanagement
and corruption as the number of homeless people in the county is once again rising.
It's actually hard to know how much money was actually squandered because the previous CFO of this agency,
and this is real, only had a degree in cultural anthropology. And listen, no offense to our cultural
anthropologists, but your degree is a joke. Wow, that, you were right. There's too many
cultural anthropologists that listen to this show. And while I'm at it, a decade ago in Los Angeles,
no mosquitoes. Now, many mosquitoes. And it's a lot of those. And it's a decade ago in Los Angeles. And it's
It's a special kind of mosquito that bites during the day.
We only got the fucking daywalkers.
Fuck!
Again, this is not a criticism of Anon who has written eloquently on the causes of homelessness
and the ways we fail, the most vulnerable in our society.
His point isn't wrong, but it is part of a more uncomfortable story
about the chasm between our values and our actions.
What's broken in Los Angeles cannot be laid at the feet of Trump or Fox News
or some anti-gay hillbilly pastor.
The homelessness crisis in California is no one's shame but ours.
The allure of Donald Trump has always been that he tells supporters
you don't have to change or grow or compromise
or suffer even one uncomfortable thought.
That plus his big, beautiful ass.
And it is no coincidence that Trump's influence rose
alongside algorithmic feeds,
which encourage the same easy, self-satisfied,
Manichian view of politics in the world.
And we have to defeat that Trumpian mindset,
but not only in these midterms,
we have to defeat it in ourselves.
Otherwise, we'll never achieve our ultimate goal,
destroying Christmas once and for all.
On Thursday, the trial began for an Ohio man charged with harassment
after he sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state letter.
Sent a picture of Shrek's penis to a state senator.
When asked why he Shrexed the politician,
the Ohio man replied, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
But don't worry.
We are going to show you the image he sent.
You have three seconds to avert your eyes or put on your glasses.
Here it is.
A man was arrested for sending this picture.
He spent a day in jail.
First, they came for the guy who sent a picture of Shrek's Dong,
and I didn't speak up because I was simply too horny.
Free that pervert, Ohio.
That is not harassment.
That's funny.
And by the way, think about the mindset of a state senator
who calls the police after getting that.
The police?
Shut up!
Can't call the police for looking at Shrek's hog?
In Milwaukee, a woman was arrested for pretending to be a substitute teacher
because she was bored.
Folks, you can just do things.
A 24-year-old Amy Jones signed in to enter the building,
went to a classroom,
and allegedly called the students
fucking lame and annoying for not having weed.
She also disparaged the students over their weight
and bragged about the felony she'd committed.
Oh, Captain, my Captain, said the children.
And finally, this October,
authorities confirmed the first rabid raccoon in L.A. County
in over 50 years,
and the most rabid bats ever recorded.
So happy Halloween, everybody, and see you at the hospital.
All right, we've got a great show for you tonight,
and we'll be right back.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Helix.
A Good Night's Rest sets you up for a great day.
So if your mattress isn't doing its job, neither can you.
It's time to upgrade your sleep.
That's where Helix, the most awarded mattress brand on the market comes in.
Helix custom builds your mattress based on your sleep needs.
Just take the two-minute Helix sleep quiz to determine your
best fit. They deliver your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. Plus, you can rest
easy with seamless returns and exchanges and a 365 night sleep trial as part of the happy with
Helix guarantee. I love my Helix mattress. I have a Don Lux, super comfortable. I took the
quiz and that's what I got. It's just a great mattress and I sleep better when I'm home because of it.
It's comfortable. Great for, you know, streaming a show. Hey, you want to watch Silo? Yeah,
in a comfortable bed, even better. Why aren't that silo? You know, how'd they get there? Who built it?
What's up with that silo?
Go to helixleep.com slash love it for 27% offsitewide.
This offers exclusive to love it or leave it listeners.
That's helixleep.com slash love it for 27% off sitewide.
Helix sleep.com slash love it.
Love it or leave it is brought to you by Zbiotics as the weather cools down and our schedules
fill up fall naturally changes how we approach our social life and morning routines.
Between tailgate parties, cozy dinners, and holiday gatherings, staying on top of your game
means planning ahead, especially when nights out are involved.
That's why you need Z biotics pre-alcohol.
Zbiotics pre-alcohol.
drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was engineered by Ph.D. microbiologists
to break down acetaldehyde. You don't want it. And it's an unwanted byproduct of alcohol metabolism.
Make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly and enjoy your next day activities.
The biotics have sold more than 14 million models and earn the trust of thousands, including us,
get rid of this acetaldehyde. I love Cbiotics. It's great. You should use it. Try for yourself
today, and if you're unsatisfied, they will refund your entire order. No questions asked.
Head to Zbiotics.com slash love it, code, love it, for 15% off your first order.
When you're going to have a couple drinks, you feel better the next day. It works.
I had it at our wedding. So, Zbiotics.com slash love it code. Love it. Zbiotics.com
slash love it code love it.
And we're back. All right, we'll be joined by Congresswoman Sarah McBride and Congressman Derek
Tran in just a moment. But first, CricketCon is less than 30 days away. It is a chance for
political nerds, pollsters, organizers, journalists, creators, and Crooked hosts
to gather in one place in real life just days after the midterms.
I'll be hosting an episode of Love It or Leave It on November 6th, plus a panel at the
All-Day CrookedCon event on Saturday, November 7th.
You can check out the lineup and get tickets for both Love It or Leave It and the full-day
crookedcon at Crookedcon.com.
All right.
Now, this is a reminder.
Please call your congressperson.
Sometimes they will come on your podcast.
All right, please welcome to the show.
It's Congressman Derek Tran and Congresswoman Sarah McBride.
All right.
Let's start with this.
Okay, the polls are good.
The environment for Republicans is bad, but let's get our heads in the game.
What worries you, and if you wake up and there was no wave
or the wave was less than we imagined,
what is it that you think right now we're either missing
or not taking seriously enough?
Well, first of all, it's great to be back on,
and this is a big exclusive.
This is the first time we've had the Transcaucas in Congress
appear together.
So it's a big scoop for you.
No, it's huge. It's huge. Yeah, this is...
Right. Look, this is an important date for the trans community.
That's right. That's right.
You know, as you mentioned, the polls are looking good.
And it does feel like something big is about to happen.
We are seeing right now hundreds of millions of dollars being spent by Republicans
in a last-ditch effort to try to divide and misdirect the public attention.
seeing them trot out the same tired political strategy from 2024, and that is to try to distract
the American people from the fact that they are lining the pockets of the wealthiest 1% by going
after some of the most vulnerable 1% in our society right now. But what I'm seeing right now
is that the American people are seeing through that. They're not falling for it, and they are
ready to turn out. The thing that keeps me up at night is that we are in such a good position and a
number of polls that people might be complacent, that people might take a victory for granted.
I'm also concerned that there are many people in our own party who are so fearful about some
of the most dramatic scenarios that people worry about, that they're catastrophizing, that people
might scare themselves into not participating. And so I think right now, obviously, there are still
a few weeks left. There's a lot of time for things to change.
But right now, if the data is accurate and if the sense that I'm sure Derek is also feeling on the ground is there in November,
I think as long as we don't take it for granted, we're going to have a Democratic majority in the House of Representatives.
What do you think?
No, no, I agree with Sarah, 100%.
You know, when I'm out there, everything feels good.
I'm talking to folks.
They feel good about this.
They're pissed off for all the right reasons.
but my thing is, you know, we're worried about a free and fair election.
And, you know, when we have our ICE and CPB officers or, God forbid, the National Guard
at our polling places, that is worrisome to me.
And that is what keeps me up.
But I think, you know, we're going to do the right thing.
The courts are going to do the right thing.
They're going to stop him.
But that fear is still there.
We're prepared for the worst.
but are obviously hoping for the best.
And I think to what I was saying,
we have a voter protection effort, to Derek's point,
that is unrivaled.
We have significant precedent on our side from the courts,
especially if he tries to do something with the Insurrection Act.
I think we have to be clear with the American people
that there is going to be a fair election in November
and that the law is on our side.
And at the end of the day,
in part to prepare for the worst,
we have to steal a line from Donald Trump
have a victory that is too big to rig.
That's right.
Yeah.
So let's hope for the best.
What do you think the first priorities should be
if knocking on wood, nothing taken for granted,
nothing is certain, but what do you think the priorities
should be for a Democratic House?
Do you go first?
Yeah, I think it's health care.
I think that's what we've been messaging about.
I think that's when I talk to my community and my constituents.
that's what they care about.
They don't have their health.
They can't go to work.
They don't have their health.
They can't take care of the family and be with their family.
It's something that I've talked to leadership about in the Democratic caucus
that we got to do more and we got to do better.
And we see the gutting from this administration hurting so many individuals with HR1
and his big bullshit bill.
This is where we can come in and we make a difference.
And I think it's expanding health care.
And I really think that's where we can make our mark.
How do you think about the, look, the person that would have to sign a bill to make reforms to health care would be a man named Donald Trump?
How do you think about what, if, let's say there's either a Democratic House and a Republican Senate or ideally both chambers are Democratic, either way, you're getting something to Donald Trump's desk.
How do you think about that?
Well, I think this is one of the fundamental questions that we're facing right now, which is the realistic outcome.
obviously, that they're still going to be divided government, that Donald Trump will still be in the White House.
And look, I think when it comes to healthcare, I think Derek's absolutely right that restoring the care that was cut in the big ugly bill has to be the number one item on our agenda.
We can use all of the leverage that we have at our disposal, from appropriations bills to hearings, to leverage that power to try to get that care restored.
I have a theory that Donald Trump didn't really care about the Medicaid cuts.
He just wanted his funding for ICE and his tax breaks for billionaires.
He knew that he had this unholy alliance with congressional Republicans,
which is he gets what he wants on corruption, on immigration, and on tariffs, and they get to
dictate the policies on everything else.
He knew it was going to be deeply unpopular to cut Medicaid, but he knew he needed to have
that in the bill to get some of the hardline Freedom Caucus members to do.
to support the big ugly bill.
I don't know whether he's gonna wanna die,
politically die on the hill of continuing the Medicaid cuts.
And I think the leverage that we will have,
our capacity with the gavels and with appropriations bills,
increases the chance with this president
that we could restore that funding.
But I think more broadly, this isn't just about reversing
or reducing the harm of this administration.
It also has to be about lowering the costs
for the American people on all of the issues
that are keeping them up at night,
and it means laying the foundation
for a big, bold, transformational policy agenda
for 2028 and beyond.
And I think there are sort of three buckets
that I'd really like to see us lead on.
This is my personal opinion.
But the first is Leader Jeffrey's appointed me
to be one of the co-convenors
of a caregiving working group.
It's one of five working groups
outlining the affordability agenda for our caucus
in the first 100 hours,
first 100 days, and first year.
And I believe that
we can unite the full spectrum of our caucus from progressives to moderates around bold caregiving policy,
paid family and medical leave for all, universal child care, investments in home care and elder
care so that it's actually affordable to start a family and take care of your loved ones again in this
country. I believe that we have to build on our progress that we actually made with bipartisan
support around housing by creating a federally funded construction workforce program that puts people
back to work and ensures we have the workforce necessary for when we pass meaningful investments
in housing construction to actually build that new housing at scale and at speed.
And those are jobs that will put people back to work in fields that are more immune to the
impact of AI.
And that's, I think, the third thing that we have to focus on, which is meaningful regulation
of big tech specifically AI to protect workers, to protect our safety and to protect our
democracy.
Congressman, so Thomas Massey introduced articles of impeachment against Pete Hegsef.
So we're going to have these battles over the forward-looking agenda.
We're going to be in budget battles with Donald Trump where there's going to be this tough deal-making, right?
There's going to be questions about what health care cuts can be undone.
I pity anyone that will then be facing a choice around whether they would accept refunding Medicaid and increasing the funding for the Pentagon.
to make up for the whole created by the Iran War,
a decision that is coming for all of you,
so good luck messaging that.
But as that's going on,
people are demanding accountability.
They want investigations.
Do you think the Massey argument for impeachment is a good one?
What do you think about it?
No, absolutely.
I got the opportunity to question Hague Seth
in one of the Haas hearings,
and I can tell you this man is ill-equipped to lead our troops, right?
I do believe that accountability is extremely,
extremely important. And I think when we look at where we are right now and the suffering that's
going on around us, if we're going to get in control of Congress and we have the gavels,
we have to first address that pain point that so many American families, so many Americans out there
facing. That is our priority. The accountability part of all of this, absolutely, we can walk and
chew gum at the same time, and we're going to do that. It's not just Heggseth, him being incompetent.
it's also this administration that is, you know, insanely grifting off of, you know, everything.
It's corruption everywhere.
And that is so frustrating.
And one point to the last question you had, I think we can't lose sight of the fact that us winning control, even though we may not get any bills passed,
we can stop this administration and make them a lame duck.
That's so important.
So there's a lot of Republicans that may not be returning to their jobs.
God willing.
Are there any Republican members of the House
who you would,
even if your mind knows you want them to lose,
your heart will be a little sad.
Is there any person out of you're like,
I do want them to lose,
but I'm going to miss seeing them around.
Fuck, no.
Really?
No, not a single one.
Look, there are Republicans
who are perfectly pleasant.
in private,
there are Republicans
who you can work with
on some issues
but we have had a front row seat
to their cruelty,
to their chaos,
to their corruption.
We have a front row seat
to the blank check
that they have given this administration
and after all of that,
I don't care whether
you're perfectly pleasant in the hallway.
Democracy is far too important for that
and even in my heart, I believe that.
Okay.
Well said, sir.
You were a cook in the army?
I was.
So my child did Fred Frank Costanza.
He was a cook in the army.
Hey, what's the longest I can keep potatoes?
Until they turn black?
Until they turn, yeah.
The USS Lincoln, they were struggling because they were stuck at sea.
They weren't getting enough supplies.
Were you ever in a position where you had to figure out?
how to be part of making a good meal with less than what you need?
Like was there ever a point where you're like, I know what to do.
I know how to make all this work together.
No, I think that's a great question.
I've never had the opportunity of serving on a ship, thank God,
because I was Army and not Navy.
And one of the things that, you know, we were so blessed with
is the fact that our government took care of us.
And they made sure that there was enough food, there's enough rations.
you know, we got the orders that we needed to come in.
What they did on the USS Lincoln was insane.
To keep them out that long, to, there were countless numbers of suicide attempts.
The fact that, you know, this administration through this defense secretary,
Secretary of War, whatever you want to call them,
it's just incompetent and unable to control and manage what's going on,
says a lot about why we need to make sure that we got to win this November.
You know, that's plain and simple.
I read homage to Catalonia by George Orwell,
and it was about his time serving in a militia during the Spanish Civil War against Franco,
and then he gets shot randomly, and he barely survives.
He ends up in a Spanish hospital,
and he said that even when Spain was incompetent across very many avenues,
they always had incredible meals in the hospital,
but you weren't really hungry because he'd been shot in the neck,
but they would still try to make him eat all the soup.
Yeah, look, food is a morale booster, right?
And I think the military understands that.
So, you know, I love my job.
And if they didn't like me, anyone mistreated me,
they got half portions.
That's cool. That's cool.
Use the power that you have.
Hey, do you cook ever?
I do cook.
Do you really?
What do you make?
You ever roast a whole chicken?
I have.
I've roasted a whole chicken once.
I do the turkey every Thanksgiving for my family.
Yeah.
And I've only...
cooked it properly once out of five years.
I spatch cocked and dry brine to turkey,
and then that morning my fridge died,
and I did almost cry, I'll be honest.
But then I called around and I got one last turkey,
and then I made it much more quickly.
This year, you know what I want to do?
I'll tell you, I want to fully debone the turkey,
and then I want to roll it.
Wow.
Have you heard of this?
You can roll it.
You can take a whole turkey,
every part of a turkey.
You take the bones completely out.
Then you put, like, herbs and stuff,
and then you roll it.
It's like a, like a, and then it just cooks like a log
and then you slice it.
And your, every slice gets everything.
Little light made it a little dark,
but everything's moist.
And it's even.
I want to make a turkey log.
Um, so Congress.
Hey, what reality show are you watching?
I'm gonna start on Saturday the new season of traders.
Oh, you are?
Great.
Have you watched Ultimate Girls Trip?
Are you watching Ultimate Girl's trip?
I've never, I haven't watched.
Is it worth watching?
It was great.
Just wrapped.
Highly recommend.
Because we've talked about this in the past.
the sort of reality TV vacation of our Congress.
And each time we talk, you've sort of evolved in your appreciation of the ways in which reality TV has wrecked either our culture or the people within it.
So I think Traders is interesting.
Do you think that when the lefties and the mods are duking it out on the House side, you can bring some of the wisdom of watching Traders to that?
I would love to be the Allen Cummings of that dispute.
Yes, please.
Do you all watch Traders?
Okay, good.
Do you watch any reality show?
I don't.
I got a job.
You what?
I got a job.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Sorry, you're...
Hard for the people of Delaware
and watch traders all at the same time.
You're a member of Congress,
not sure why you're wearing a robe
and holding a gavel.
You're judging us.
Oh, hey, do you think we can get Mamdani
to convince Trump
that Medicare for All was his idea?
Absolutely.
has a spell on that man. I have not seen a crush like that. It's cool.
It's cool. I think we need to dispatch him to make Trump think that all I like,
Trump is getable on some of these issues. Absolutely. Trump has no core other than personal
enrichment. And so if you can just flatter him, he often does what you want. He's the most
manipulated man to ever occupy the White House. Wow. Which we see on full display with Putin
and other world leaders. So that's something to look forward to.
Well, now that I have you both, it's time for the first annual meeting of the Joint Orange County Delaware Tourism Board.
Congresswoman McBride, Congressman Tran, in the interest of driving up tourism, I'm going to picture two beautiful districts against each other.
Tonight, we're going to definitively answer the age-old question, what's the most beautiful place on Earth, Orange County, or Delaware?
You will both defend your state and I, famously neutral John Lovett, will rule on the winner.
That's right, baby.
I'm like avocado oil, neutral with a high smoke point.
What?
The stakes are very high because whichever place wins, that's where I'm going.
going on my honeymoon.
All right.
Here we go.
First up, all right.
Old Bay or Siracha.
What do you think?
Saracha, all the way.
I mean, I guess I have to say Old Bay,
but I do love Saracha more personally.
Wow.
Wow.
That point goes to Orange County.
Damn.
I mean, you didn't even defend it.
You didn't even defend it.
The state birds, Delaware Blue Hen Chick or the California quail.
I mean, the Delaware,
Blue Hen is
wonderfully encapsulated
in our University
of Delaware mascot. And so we
actually celebrate this, which I don't know
if you even knew that your
state bird was the quail. Is that right?
And you share it with the rest of the state of California. Look, I can tell you the blue
hen tastes delicious. Oh, that's right. We eat your mascot.
You don't eat ours. Ha. And they're fighting.
And we all want fighters right now in the Democratic Party. So, fight in blue hens.
Oh, yeah, the fight and blue hens. Okay. I'm going to
that one to the California quail.
What?
Sorry.
Come on.
Okay, next up.
Weird.
Sorry.
Take it up with a judge.
Weird law.
Delaware, it's illegal to get married on a dare versus orange counties.
You can't own a pig in Seal Beach, though some exceptions might be made.
So this is an interesting one because in a sense, isn't every marriage on a dare?
The dare of happiness in the future, you know?
On some point.
So all marriage is illegal in Delaware.
Yeah.
In a sense, there's never been a legal marriage in Delaware, which is cool.
Everybody's sort of living in sin in the state of Delaware.
Every marriage is a dare.
I never thought about that for I dare you to marry me.
That's what it is.
Will you marry me is I dare you.
Marry me.
You're going to bet the rest of your life on who I am right now.
I was so different six months ago.
What will I be like six months from now?
And don't you want to own a pig on your honeymoon on a seal beach?
You bet I do.
So you can't do Orange County.
I choose Delaware.
There you go.
Yes.
Finally.
Although Orange County did say they would consider issuing permits to some pigs.
Are you aware of this pig traversy?
I did not know.
Wow.
It says that you could have a service pig is an exception.
That's fun, huh?
You have a service pig?
Service anything.
Yeah, you could have a service.
By any of the airlines.
Yeah, those people that brought those service horses on the plane really fucked it up for the rest of us that were lying about our dogs.
It's like, of course I'm lying about my dog.
Everybody be cool about it.
Now I can't bring my dog on the plane because some asshole brought a service peacock.
This sucks.
It's like we're all, guys, it's just to save $150.
Everybody be chill about it.
This is an emblematic of the excesses of the left, absolutely.
For sure, 100%.
Let's see.
Nodzbury Farm or the Rojoboth Beach boardwalk,
including Funland and the Funland Haunted Mansion.
Well, I hate to tell you the haunted mansion.
It's actually closed right now for renovations.
But...
And even better haunted mansion to come.
No, no, no, no.
You can walk from the haunted mansion down the boardwalk to Baltimore Avenue
where there are a ton of gay bars,
including Aqua where I like to go and you can have a shot with me at Aqua.
Wow.
Can I do that at Nottsbury Farm?
No, you walk from Knott's Berry Farm to Disneyland.
Happy place on.
Ooh, that's interesting.
Walk to an even better theme park, kind of sad for Knott's Berry Farms.
Hey, can I ask you a question, Derek Tran?
Did they rename Montezuma's Revenge?
Because when I was a kid and I went to Notzbury's Farm, they had a ride called Montezuma's Revenge.
I remember it.
I've been on it.
Is it open still or I think they closed it?
I'm going to be honest.
I don't know.
I haven't been to Knotsberry Farm in a minute.
I like when names like that are grandfathered in.
Like, this is a ride named after a racist diarrhea trope.
Oh, I'm going to give that one to Delaware.
I am.
I am.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Because of the shot with me.
Because of the shot with me.
Because I get a shot with you.
There was, you know, Nantes berry farm where we're going to eat some berries.
No state or local sales tax in Delaware versus no equivalent found.
Self-explend story.
Yeah, I don't know.
This is going to be a tough one for you, Congressman Trent, because it's not your fault,
a lot of local taxes here in California.
They really get us coming and going.
But it's California versus Delaware.
No, I know.
You get more bang for your buck in Delaware.
Not only do we have no sales tax,
but housing, I think, is three times less expensive.
But it's Delaware.
In Orange County.
You can get a beautiful, beautiful home in Roebuth Beach as a rental
for probably what you'd have to pay for one day in Orange County.
You can get for a week in Delaware.
And, you know, you can get more bang for your buck in Delaware,
and more bangfrier whatever in Roebith.
It's not a dock in Provincetown.
It's not a dog, that's right.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, you saw that clip.
Fuck, all right.
I'm going to give this one to Delaware.
You both ably defended your states.
I'm going to declare the winner, the great state of California.
100%.
I think I was rigged.
Feel good.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Thank you both.
We'll be right back.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Trees.com.
Listeners of this show have heard us talk about our love of the online plants to our fast-growing trees for years.
But now, they've got a new name.
It's Trees.com.
It's simple.
It's chic.
It's still America's largest and most trusted online nursery with thousands of trees and plants and over 3 million happy customers.
They have all the plants of your yard or home needs, including fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, houseplants, and shrubs.
All grown with caring, care, and teach, or I've healthy.
whatever you're looking for. Trees.com helps you find options that actually work for your climate,
space and lifestyle. Trees.com makes it easy to get your dream yard. Just click order grow.
Get healthy thriving plants delivered to your door. They're thriving alive guarantee promises
that your plants arrive healthy and happy. No green thumb required. Just quality plants you can count on.
We have plants and trees from Trees.com here at Cricket HQ. They've arrived looking very healthy
and have been easy to care for thanks to the experts at Trees.com. Their only problem before was
that website. Now it's solved because they got Trees.com. And right now they have great deals on planting essentials.
to half off select plants.
And listeners to our show get 20% off their purchase
when using the code Love at checkout.
That's an additional 20% off, better plants
and better growing at Trees.com.
Using the code love it at checkout,
trees.com, code love it.
Now is the perfect time to plant.
Let's grow together.
Use Love It to Save Today.
Offer is valid for limited time.
Terms and conditions may apply.
You can see my next guest on her stand-up tour
with dates coming up in Fresno, California, and Colorado Springs.
She's also the co-host of the handsome podcast.
Please welcome Tignataro.
Now, I would like to start with something of a rift between us, something of a row, something of a Donnybrook.
I feel like we have a few of those.
Well, I'll start with one, and we'll go from there, which is you recently invited Ari and me to your home for a lovely dinner.
And when we walked through the door, you said something that did catch me off guard.
Okay.
And you said, and I quote, I'm so glad we drew your names out of the hat.
and I reacted a little bit.
I would say I was ever so slightly put off
by the idea that we were invited to your house
based on some sort of a lottery,
some sort of a bingo-style auction
that you held with Stephanie.
And now then I was sort of mercilessly attacked
for the remainder of the evening.
And when I brought this up with the team,
I'd love it or leave it,
they also felt that I was wrong.
Yeah.
So defend your idea of choosing us at random to come over.
I told you it wasn't totally at random.
First of all, I can never get over how cute your face is.
As gay as I am, I'm always just like, how is it that that face was even designed?
Thanks, yeah, thanks to the good guy.
But anyway, what happened was Stephanie and I.
Well, I told her, I wanted to start socializing a bit more because, you know, we have our family, our kids, we're working, and there's so many people in our lives, don't reach your cards. You ask me a question.
So there are people in our lives that we adore because they have cute faces. There are people that we want to get to know better.
And then we just thought, let's make a really solid list of who those people are.
And it's a good list.
And then we're going to throw it in a hat.
There's actually no hat, okay?
No, there's a hat.
It's a good-looking hat.
It's, yeah, so we just throw some names in there, and we picked yours out.
And I think that is very, it's not random.
Do you understand?
It didn't start out random
and then there was a slight randomness
after, but the list is not random.
How many names were in the hat?
It was just you and Ari
and the people that were there.
How many names?
No, I would say...
This will help, I think.
I would say there's probably like...
I'm actually nervous.
Forty names?
And there was like, what, eight of us?
It's pretty good odds.
It's really good odds.
All right.
And then...
Well, two of those were me and Stephanie.
Right, so there were six.
There were six.
Okay.
Yeah.
So six out of 40.
So three out of 20.
It's about a little less than, a little more than one in seven chance that we were going to get invited.
It's pretty good.
Wouldn't you say that's a pretty decent?
Like, would you be offended if you were invited to this party?
I'd say I wasn't offended.
I was something between mift and offended.
Mift and offended.
Would you have felt that way?
No.
No.
Right.
See?
You're wrong again.
Hmm. Thanks a lot. It was free to take my side.
It was lovely, and once you explained it, it made sense.
Yeah, yeah. And I got over it. Eventually, I got over it.
Well, we're talking about it here.
Hey, you were recently in Tennessee.
I was.
And you were doing stand-up.
Uh-huh.
And when you're doing stand-up and...
It's what I do.
It's what you're known for.
Even if I'm not funny, it's what I do.
So I tell my audiences, go ahead.
No, that's a great, no, that's a good thing to tell them.
You're in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
I was.
And I have to assume that you're sort of, I don't know,
how well known are you in Chattanooga, Tennessee?
What happens when you go to Chattanooga, Tennessee?
Well, thanks for asking.
I, well, you know, the show, I did two shows.
So one sold out, so there's a second show, right?
Cool.
And the next morning I went into a coffee shop to get a coffee for the road.
And I'm not bragging, so everybody get off my back.
But I walked into a coffee shop, and the seven people that were there recognized me.
Had no idea I'd had a show there.
Okay, the people behind the counter recognized me.
And then after all of that happens, a woman walks in behind me,
missed the whole thing
and then she says
why do you look so familiar to me
and Stephanie my wife had told me
before you should just immediately say
I'm a comedian and an actor
because I used to say oh yeah I don't know
just to kind of skip past it
but we never would skip past it
because they'd want to figure it out
so there I am using
what Stephanie told me
I'm a comedian and actor
and she said,
but what's your job?
And I said, well, I'm a comedian and actor,
so I used it again, trying to get out of this.
Yeah, yeah.
And she cut me off quickly, and she said, I heard you.
And she said, but I'm wondering,
do you go to a lot of beer events around here?
I said, I don't.
and I don't go to many beer events ever anywhere.
And so that's about how I'm known in Chattanooga.
Pretty good.
I would say it's pretty good for Chattanooga.
I would say everyone but her seemed to know me.
As far as you know, as far as you know everyone but that one lady.
And she did kind of know you.
Yeah.
She couldn't place it.
Yeah.
She couldn't place it.
Right.
But she'll see me on here.
Oh.
One could only help.
I did a show in Chattanooga.
Did you?
Yeah.
How'd that go?
That's pretty good.
Yeah.
You know there Pride is in October down there.
Pride is in October.
Yeah, they keep it in October.
Why?
I don't know.
For October, Beer Fest.
You think it might be tied to Beer Fest?
Well, I thought it might have been the heat.
I was thinking of this woman who asked if I go to beer events.
Was it October when you were there?
I know, I just got back.
Yes, it was.
Yes, in fact, it was October.
Hey, speaking of it, we're doing great.
I like that both of us, that, like, that Stephanie is like you're behind the scenes coach being like,
hey, I just watched that interaction.
In the future, we're going to try a different method.
And I get the same from Ari.
Ari does that for me a little bit.
Ari's like, hey, what you did there, that was weird.
You were weird.
You're the reason.
That interaction you just had that you're confused about.
You did that.
That's your fault.
And then I learn and I grow and I change.
Yes.
You know?
I tried to, but Beer Fest lady and Chattanooga was not having it.
I heard you.
What's the truth, though?
I am a comedian and actor.
Mm-hmm.
Next.
Hey, it's spooky season.
Yes.
Are you decorating for Halloween?
How did you come up with this question, John?
Look at the cards we got.
Look at how much.
The last time you're here, we didn't have these.
Things are looking up.
Things are really good.
On MS now.
We, our kids are 10.
We have twin boys, and we went, we took them when they,
they were, how old were they, three to CVS, and they bought all of the, no offense, CVS,
but the CVS garbage in the Halloween aisle, and we have had that ever since.
And so when I just got back from Chattanooga, I pulled up, and I was like, oh, right, so Halloween's
coming up.
It just looks like CVS drove by and just threw garbage in our yard and kept going.
So, yes, we decorate.
You know what I was thinking about when you said, no offense, CVS?
If CVS was a person, I think they would not be offendable.
I think they'd have a kind of sturdy attitude,
and they'd know their failures and their successes,
and they'd be pretty even about it.
Sounds like me.
You just described me.
Yeah, I think that is like you.
You and CVS have that in common.
Yeah.
You know your strengths, you know your weakens.
You're not easily offended.
But you're saying if CVS was a person, I'm like, here I am.
Yeah.
Sure.
You're friends with CVS.
In a sense.
Yeah.
In a sense.
Then it's interesting to think, how would you be, what's Walgreens like?
And I think similar.
I don't know.
It's a little wackier.
CVS doesn't invite Walgreens to their pull out of the hat party.
Walgreens, not in the hat.
It's too complicated.
Sorry, Walgreens.
It's too complicated for, you know.
Yeah.
They tried to be friends, but they just couldn't, you know.
Too much in common.
I know.
Some people are too similar to be friends.
What are we talking about?
I'm not sure.
How do you decide what to land on?
Well, I don't really know.
Hey, besides your dry wit and incredible charisma, you're also best known for not knowing much at all about anything.
In that spirit, it's time for a segment we're calling TIGS say the darn just things.
And here's that works.
I'm going to present you with a recent news story and ask, do you know about this?
Okay.
This is going to be humiliate.
You say yes or no.
I follow the news more than I follow pop culture.
Why don't we just see what comes up and see if that's true?
Here we go.
First up, do you know about this?
The Ballad of Stella Lefty.
Do you know who Stella Lefty is?
Yes, I do.
She's a country singer.
I follow music and documentaries mostly.
Yes, I am aware of Stella Lefty.
Her song, Boston.
She has a few songs.
Do you want me to tell you what I know?
Yeah, that's the point.
She's written some songs.
She has some songs out there that people think sound a lot like other songs.
Yeah, they bear an uncanny resemblance to similar songs.
And it's also a little strange to sing a song about Boston nearby the place the original song was about when you're not from Boston.
You know what I mean?
If you're going to take a song that has a melody that's about Vermont, it's weird to then sing a similar song about Boston.
Sing about something far away from Boston.
Right.
You know?
How far away from Boston?
When you think the distance shouldn't matter now that you think about it.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
Okay, that's all we need to know.
I think, you know what?
Take new about that.
Steve Hilton's Lesbo ad.
Do you know about that?
Steve Hilton's Lesbo ad.
Yeah.
Meaning lesbian?
That's right.
Uh-huh.
I said Lesbo.
Yeah.
Like they would have said in the movie,
look who's talking in 1989.
Well, you know.
When I learn the word.
What I call myself?
What?
Is Lesbo Baggins.
It's because you eat so many meals.
That's right.
Right. I also just call any lesbian, Lesbo, Baggins.
Oh, cool.
Republican candidate for governor, Steve Hilton, here in California,
received backlash for a horny campaign ad,
which likens votes for Steve Hilton to having lesbian sex for the first time,
and we do have a clip.
Oh.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Don't be nervous.
It's not that bad.
I've just never done anything like this before.
Like, what did my dad?
finds out. Just try it.
Look, give me your hand.
Close your eyes.
And I'll do all the work.
I didn't realize how long this part goes on.
See?
And she...
That's... Sorry, that's great.
I don't think the lesbians should vote for Steve Hilton, but that's pretty good.
Hey, as a lesbian, publicly lesbian, what's your reaction to that?
I love it.
Not a single note.
No, it's really good.
So I can, like, go home and Google that?
Yeah.
I can show Stephanie.
It's on all the computers.
My kids.
You bet.
It's on all the computers.
That's the craziest thing about it.
Next up, we have...
Is this a cell phone?
It's in a sense, in a sense.
What is it?
It's an old radio.
It's a real old radio works, I think.
We got it for the show.
This is a radio show.
Because this is like what radio became.
I got it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Have you heard about AI?
Let's not move this.
Let's not lose this momentum.
Have you heard of AI stand-up Tiffany Sloan?
No.
Rather than, let's just show you a clip.
I have a lot of mixed friends.
Anyone mixed in here?
Hell yeah.
What are you, my guy?
German and English.
Okay, you're white.
My comments are just men saying hi, 4,000 of them.
Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
And not one of them said, hi, here's rent.
Wait, that's not a real person.
No.
What is happening?
We've made a series of mistakes that, and basically...
You and I have.
We are responsible.
Some doors lock behind you and several...
have locked behind our society.
We kept walking through doors and then
trying them to get back through, but we actually
can't. Is she popular?
Because she's good.
No, listen. She's good. She's really good.
She's really good. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.
She's really good.
Here's the thing. If she walked into a coffee shop in
Chattanooga.
Nobody's confused about where they know her from.
When, is she, she is a big following?
The clips are going viral. All the jokes are stolen.
So they're going through, basically, some of them
or manufacturer joke, my understanding of it, and someone can correct me if I'm wrong.
It's Tiffany Sloan. Oh, is that, not Tiffany Lefty.
No, that's a, that's lefty. That's the, that's the, that's the, a lot of thievery going
Yeah, listen, it's a, yes, we've sort of, we've, you know, we stopped going to church and then
things really kind of went downhill. So, John and Tiggs stopped going to church. This happened.
Yeah, absolutely.
And that comedian happened. That entity. Yeah, the jokes are either stolen or kind of crafted from other
comedian's material and they just put
another comedian's...
Like I saw a video of a comedian saying
hey, that's my joke. And it's just like kind of
a dude. And then you go and it's just this sort of like
this sort of, you know,
I don't know what you described that shape
as. This shapeleaf woman
made of AI doing his material.
Right. Which is not good.
No, no, no. You don't think that... I mean, a great comedian
shouldn't, even someone as good as Tiffany Sloan
shouldn't be stealing other people's work. You should definitely
not be stealing people's work. And we've always
said that. Yeah, me and you. Everybody head to tignitaro.com for a ticket. That's it for now.
You're going to hang for a bit. Everybody go to tignitaro.com for tickets to see her on tour and listen to
handsome wherever you get your podcast. And we'll be right back.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you've been on the fence about therapy,
now is the perfect time to explore it through our longtime partner BetterHelp. Insurance options
may now be available nationwide with an average copay for eligible members of just $23
per session. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, which hopefully reminds us all about the
importance of prioritizing our mental and emotional well-being. Therapy isn't just for big life
choices or major crises. It can be a place to talk through smaller everyday frustrations and roadblocks.
The work situation, taking up too much mental real estate, a relationship dynamic, you can't
quite name, or simply the sense that something feels off, you got to get therapy. All those things
happen to everybody. You know, you need it. And if you can get it, you should. If you've been
waiting to start there. Be BetterHelp Works with more than 125 health plan networks and eligible
members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. If you don't have insurance
or don't live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month. Visit betterhelp.com
slash love it to explore your payment options. That's betterh-elp.com slash love it.
And we're back. We're joined once again by Congressman McGrine and Congressman Tran.
It's time for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. We spin the wheel wherever it lands.
We talk about it.
You have 60 seconds to rant about a topic of your choosing.
Let's spin the wheel.
It has landed on Sarah McBride.
Yes.
Take us away.
Well, picking up on a topic we talked about earlier,
I do not believe that celebrity reality shows are better than civilian reality shows.
I am tired.
I am tired of seeing people go on these shows who don't have their lives at stake if they win or lose.
It's probably why both of you failed at who wants to be a millionaire.
the other day. You're playing
for a charity. You're not playing for
your own success. And so we don't see the
ruthless gameplay that we need to see
on those TV shows. And I got to tell you,
I know everyone's gameplay when
they're a celebrity. And so do all the other
contestants, except for you when you were on Survivor
because none of the other contestants knew who you were
on Survivor. They were lying, they did know. They were lying and they did
know. They were lying and they did know. I have proof.
I can prove it. It's...
The gameplay is less ruthless.
They can't deceive one another. It's not
as good TV.
And none of this applies to you because even if you went on traitors, celebrity traitors,
no one would know your gameplay since you got voted out of Survivor on the first episode.
So you're all good.
Don't worry about it.
It doesn't apply to you.
Wow.
I believe it's a new record.
Seamously making a genuine point while insulting me three times over the course of 60 seconds.
Pretty impressive.
Let's spin it again.
It has landed on Tignitaro.
Let's see, what do I want to rant about?
Well, I do want to warn you right up top.
My ranting is not much of a rant, but I will tell you that traveling a lot,
bathrooms are tough for me, mainly though, germ issues.
I know we all have our different reasons here for bathrooms.
I hear you.
Girl, I know you hear me.
but girl have you ever been in a bathroom stall
and then right
Nancy Mesa's forbidden me from us
Well
I'm here to tell you
be glad
because you know how the
the little area is open
where you can reach to the other
stall
no
you've never even been in where a toilet is
never
Okay, well, here's the thing.
Somebody at the airport
put a pillow down.
Oh, great.
Tell us more, because I've actually heard
this also. By the way, this is,
I also heard about this at my
raffle prize, at the raffle I won.
I won a raffle to come to dinner with Dignard.
You want me to talk more about it? It's so disgusting.
They put a pillow on the ground.
Okay.
end. Somebody put a pillow on the ground. Exactly my point. It's so disgusting. It's so disgusting. And that's
all I can say in my rant over and over is how disgusting it is. However, there are pluses, two bathrooms,
public bathrooms, one of them being that I overheard a woman in the stall next to me
with her probably two-year-old, who she was probably traveling alone with.
she locked the child in the stall with her
while she was going to the bathroom
and I got to hear the little kids say
ooh mommy gross
it stinks and she's like
stop it
quiet it stinks mommy gross
I would prefer that
than seeing a pillow on the ground
I think that's such an important point
it really is and I'm so glad
I could be a part of these
brilliant people up here and talk
about smelly gross things in bathrooms.
I know there's bigger issues in bathrooms.
Not that I do so.
Not that I can think of.
I think it's all pretty well set other than the gross thing.
Well, there's my rant.
Beautiful. Thank you.
It has landed on me.
I have a very specific and very small rant.
And I've ranted about many things.
And so I've rented about serious and big issues before.
And you know that I have.
I care about big and important things.
This is not one of those things.
Here's what I believe.
We've sent a man to the moon.
We've achieved amazing things.
There's an app on my phone that can translate any language
and that also may end life on Earth.
That's impressive.
Hard to do.
I think that when you open a tin of fish,
it should be closable.
That's it.
I don't know how and I don't know why.
But what I don't like is that when I open a can of anchovies,
the opening of the can is kind of an insuperable boundary
to closing it again.
And you really only have two options,
which is to force it close
and kind of nudge the little metal thing under
and then either hope for the best
or wrap it in tinfoil super quickly.
Then when you open it, it's fish surprise.
Or you put the whole fucking thing
in a zip lock bag
and then kind of push it closed
and then put it under something
in the fridge.
And I just think we can do better.
Yes.
That's all.
It's a very small thing.
You know, I want to...
I was listening. I do, yes.
Because I, you know, I'll open up a can of anchovies and...
I've seen you do it.
Mm-hmm.
You're not scared to do that.
Not scared at all.
No.
No, I'm brave.
Yeah.
One of the bravest people I know.
This is the second episode of row.
I'll say it once again.
Comedians are the bravest people.
We've often said that.
We do.
We say that.
We'll be right back.
We will be.
And we're back.
Boy, I'm good at this.
Or am I?
Which is why it's time for segment.
We call second thoughts.
Here's how it works.
During the show, the producers of this program
have collected all the ways they think
I could have done better.
They also occasionally
will provide a small treat
as a kudos for the rare moment
where I've done something great.
And I was hand to these cards
and Bill said,
who I did refer to killing earlier,
there's a kudos today.
And I went, like a child on Christmas.
And then he went for Sarah.
And that kudos was for the Transcacus, which we all felt was a delight.
We really all appreciated that.
It's really less about the cheat itself and more the achievement.
First thing I'd like to apologize for, I showed my audience Shrek porn.
And presumably, everyone watching MS now.
I said, put on your glasses instead of put on your context to see the Shrek porn.
penis.
And everybody feels,
you feel context was
funnier that I shouldn't have
changed it to,
I changed it to glasses
on the fly.
And I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to the team.
I left them down.
I realized when
the two members of Congress came out,
that I also showed them Shrek's genitals.
I asked a member of Congress
how long I can keep old potatoes.
I'm sorry for implying that
someone in the army would be on a boat.
I cried, I'm going to make a turkey log.
I called myself famously neutral,
both halves of which are questionable.
TIG, I'm sorry for looking at my cards
while you were earnestly answering my question.
I did start every question with hey again,
a new tick I've developed,
somewhat like Jeremy Jiminy Glick.
And I don't really know where that came from,
but it's happening more and more,
and I just turn to people and say, hey!
So much thievery.
You think that? I think, I don't even know if it's stolen. I just think it's, you know, yeah. Oh, I attributed AI and plagiarism to not going to church.
I tried to describe a shapely woman, something I should never do again. Is there anything else you think I should apologize for?
I want you to think about it and come back to me once you know. Do you have any regrets?
I do.
Okay.
Do you have...
Not tonight, but I...
You know, sort of lifelong and unrelated.
Do you have any regrets?
I regret insulting you two out of the three times.
No, I think two of them are warranted.
I think they're all good. They all worked.
Hey, it worked.
All right. If it works, it works.
And I have but one regret.
This show must end.
But that is our show.
Thank you so much to Tignitaro.
And Representative Sarah McRide and Derek Tran,
there are 25 days until the midterms.
We will be back next week with astronaut Daniel Levis.
And comedian Mocha Casher
Have a great night.
Love It or Leave It is a crooked media production.
Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett.
Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Tolls, Claudia Scheng, Jay Banks, Raul Calderon, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroat.
And our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.
