Lovett or Leave It - Bill Oh Really

Episode Date: April 22, 2017

Recorded live in Austin, comedians Guy Branum, Aparna Nancherla, and Hari Kondabolu break down the week's news and Jon sits down with Congressman Beto O'Rourke to discuss his campaign for the Senate against Ted Cruz.

Hey guys! It's great to be here in Austin. It's our first show on the road. It's great to be here in Austin. It's our first show on the road. We have a great show. We have an awesome panel. We're here at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. It's a comedy festival, and we're a part of it.

And that feels right. We're also going to be joined by Congressman Beto O'Rourke. Yeah! That's awesome. So it is a congressman. I did put on my congressman sweater. I will be on my best-ish behavior during his segment. But first, I'd like to introduce

you to our panel. You've seen him on Chelsea Lately at midnight. And he's the host of a really funny new show that I really like called Talk Show Game Show. Guy Branum. We're hugging. Our next guest, you can see her on HBO's Crashing

and her half-hour special on Comedy Central, Aparna Nancherla. and her half-hour special on Comedy Central, Aparna Nanchurla. Thank you for coming. I feel like most hosts hug or greet, but that's not my vibe. Now, I have a card here for our third panelist,

Hari Kondabolu. His Delta flight was delayed. But, but, here's the good news, okay? Two ways this goes. One, misses the show entirely. But two, he arrives like a conquering hero. And we're just going to root for that one, okay? So, what a week, guys.

Let's start with transitions. We've had two big job announcements this week. One from Bill O'Reilly and one from, yes, because you like him. And House Oversight Chairman Jason Chaffetz. Huge fans of him, this crowd. Lots of chaff heads in the audience. They're chaffing for Chaffetz, as they say in Utah.

I called this card, Good Riddance Friends, Time of Your Life. So, I feel like these are two interesting stories that are obviously very different, but they're connected by one thing. It seems like something's changed in that both in the case of O'Reilly and in the case of Jason Chaffetz, they're responding to pressure in a new way. So let's take them one at a time. So the thing that's interesting about Bill O'Reilly departing to me is a lot of this is stuff that's been out there for years and years. These allegations about the loofah and the millions of settlements and the crazy phone calls and the odd behavior

and the being terrible. Usually that's just on his show. But then all of a sudden something changes and there's a kind of critical mass and these people go. And I guess my question for you guys is what do you think is changing? Sorry to invoke Malcolm Gladwell so early but I think it's like

a racist, sexist tipping point. Where it's just like you cannot withstand the barrage of bigotry any longer and the dam breaks. Like so much of our system rests on women and minorities taking it, and particularly women

just like, I guess this is what we have to deal with. And, you know, ever since last November, there's been a we ain't gonna take it anymore kind of sentiment going on, and I was yes. Make noise.

It was interesting reading the story about the sheer amount of money that Fox News has had to spend essentially on paying terrible old white guys to leave and it was like the tone of the story was essentially like isn't it terrible that most of the money they have spent has been making these guys go away

but it's also like but they're away now. Well, I feel like I do have mixed feelings about that because they've paid out roughly $100 million on sexual harassment issues, but it's mostly been to the committers of the offenses. Like, Roger Ailes got his $40 million. Bill Reilly gets his $25 million. Doesn't seem right.

I mean, it does seem terrible, but it also means that the people who are making decisions about promotions and hiring and all of that are no longer Bill O'Reilly and Roger Ailes, and they like living in that world. That's good. I'm totally on board with that.

Also, they can now spend all that money on porn and leave women alone. That's true. That's true. I feel like they're going to take some trips to some very sad places. No, I think Bill O'Reilly's going to live out Sunset Boulevard.

I think that's where he goes next. You guys ready for me to recycle a tweet? I'll just do it. Fuck it, Mr. DeMille. We'll do it live. That's for the true fans. No, but the thing that I kept thinking, when Roger Ailes gets $40 million,

when Gretchen Carlson kind of basically says, like, joke's on you, I've been building a case for years, fuck all y'all. But Roger Ailes gets $40 million, Bill O'Reilly gets $25 million. What is going on with these fucking contracts? Like, what does it take to be fired for cause at Fox News? Like, why is this even a discussion?

Like, sorry, we don't have to pay you. There's a line that we have lawyers to... Like, don't they have great lawyers at Rupert Murdoch? Because the sheer amount of gulf that has gone on between the men who are paying the money and receiving the money. Like, it is an old boys' network. They take care of each other.

I'm pretty sure there's a contract for Fox cable news hosts to sexually harass. Right, it's in Bill O'Reilly's writer. Yeah. Green M&Ms and some gross shit. I feel like we covered that topic. Fair. Let's call it Bill O'Really.

That's good. That's good. We like puns here. Thank you. We'll use that. You may have just named an episode. On to Jason Chaffetz, House Oversight Chair, famously said, how could I support Donald Trump and look my daughter in the eye,

and then promptly supported Donald Trump? I love that every Republican throughout the entire election was always like, that's the guy. That's the guy who the whole time is going to say no Donald Trump. And when this all collapses, he'll be the one Republican of integrity who managed to make it through and then he'll become president and all of them have just sidled up to Donald Trump and said yes please can I have

some more like there's no one left even poor Susan Collins who is Susan Collins? she is the lady senator from Maine who is our sole remaining moderate Republican. They have her in a little enclosure in hopes that she'll mate with another moderate Republican and then make some who can get elected in Connecticut.

Is there a statue of her in L.L. Bean? Instead of how pandas they show porn, they just show her a debt commission on video. That's a joke for the no-labels enemies in the house. There are some. I want you to always let me know when you do get something. That's fantastic. So J. Ben Chaffetz makes this abrupt announcement.

Even a few weeks ago, or maybe months ago, he said he was looking forward to serving several years as House Oversight Chairman. He gave no signal to even his closest allies that he was leaving. Now, he made a point of saying, I promise there's no scandal, but that's sort of what you say. But let's take him at his word that there's no scandal. It's really interesting that this person who had been planning to use his House seat to launch a governor's race or some statewide office to continue his career has abruptly said like he wants out of the house and there've been a few explanations as to why one is that's just not fun right that he thought he was going to be the house oversight chairman getting to investigate hillary clinton which let's face it is a blast and he was excited about that like four years to get to focus on that to be like a conquering hero and ride back to utah on a horse

and run for governor and then donald trump wins and he's like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. They said it wouldn't happen and then it happened. I don't want to do this. It's no fun to be a Republican member of the House of Representatives anymore because your entire job is to just roll over for this dude. Like, I mean, even sort of like the weird specter of health care coming back, it's the question of all these people who were elected as Tea Party Republicans who were going

to tear down the system as it exists and who have no capacity for compromise, are they just going, like the answer is either Republicans do absolutely nothing over the course of four years or they roll over for a bunch of policies that they don't actually believe in. It seems like a no-win

situation. Also, he's kind of a bro from what I've read. And I feel like, you know, when the party's over, the bro leaves. That's very wise. And if you lived in Utah, wouldn't you want to just go home and enjoy the beautiful vistas?

Deserts, succulents. Salt flats. Maybe he's doing Acura commercials on salt flats. Maybe he'll do a podcast. They're very in. Well, the one thing I think that's interesting is, like, there is a chance that the fact that he was getting kind of hecked at these town halls was enough to make him say,

I don't want to do this for another two years. I guess the question is, do you think a member of Congress would hate being heckled so much at a town hall that he'd quit? I have long maintained that politics is show business for people without the skill set for the musical theater. It's why so many closeted guys become Republican congressmen. And I think for a lot of these Republicans, these younger Republicans, who were the answer to an outcry against the system, they really liked all of, you know, Trump himself is just a man who just loves being at a rally. And I think having a bunch of people show up and say, hey, if you take my healthcare away, I will be pissed off, makes it less fun than it was just cries of lock her up.

Right. It's like, this is like Brigadoon but for privatizing Social Security. Yes. How do you like the Brigadoon poll? Feel good about it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was solid work. It was solid work. I have nothing to say about Brigadoon.

The one last thing I'd note is Devin Nunes, the head of the House Intel Committee, had to step aside for being too complacent with the Trump administration. Jason Chaffetz, House Oversight, he's got to step aside. He's stepping aside on his own volition because he doesn't like the job. I mean, again, Nunes, if you lived in suburban Fresno,

wouldn't you want some time there? The vistas? The Fresno vistas? The CPK? I'm sorry for interrupting for my Fresno slam. No, I think it's great. I think it's, look, I like Fresno. You hate Fresno. You're the enemy of the people of Fresno. But it's interesting that doing oversight of the Trump administration is basically nearly impossible because it seems like the Venn diagram of be a Republican that Republicans like and do your job successfully doesn't have a lot of overlap. If any of them subpoena anything, he gets impeached. Like it's just the thing of like if anyone opens a single document, he gets impeached. It's just the thing of, if anyone opens a single document, he gets impeached.

So they can't do anything. It's just a bunch of unopened mail in there. They just stare at the screensavers all day. If the constituents come by, they close solitaire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many Etsy purchases.

I feel good about that topic, too. Meanwhile, in policy, let's move on to our next topic. Two interesting developments this week, one on health care, one on climate. And I think they're similar in that these are both cases in which the Trump administration is kind of finding that

Trump's campaign rhetoric and the Bannonite type of policies are kind of running headlong into reality. So climate, Donald Trump promised on the campaign trail, I'm going to take us out of the climate accords. And last week or a week before last, they promised we're going to have a big meeting. All your favorites will be there. Bannon,

Kushner, Pence, Cohn, they're all there, finally. And they're going to talk about whether or not they're going to pull out of the climate peace accord. Now, the first round of stories about this meeting were, it's another case of cucks versus nuts, globalist versus nationalist, Wrestlemania, Jared Kushner, our hero, representing all of America because he read the Wikipedia on the polar bears before the meeting. But the meeting leaked and it created such controversy that they had to cancel it. So now they can't even have a meeting about whether or not Donald Trump is going to pull out of the climate accord. On health care, Donald Trump said after the health care bill failed, that's it, I'm moving on. And then people were like, ha, you didn't do anything in your first 100 days.

So yesterday or the day before he gives a speech, and he says, who said giving up? I didn't say giving up. No one's giving up. I'm not giving up on health care. Health care is happening. It's happening next week. And then the House member is like, no, it's not. Please stop. Oh, my God. Please stop.

So I wanted to read you the quote that Donald Trump said about the new healthcare plan. The plan gets better and better and better. And, yeah, that's not, if you guys think that that is his only point, you're wrong. And it's gotten really, really good. But again, you're such knee-jerk liberals. You're like, Trump is dumb. He doesn't know anything. He's not done making his argument about the substance of the bill. And a lot of people are liking it a lot.

Now, before I move on, I do want to pause and say, Hillary Clinton knows so much about healthcare. I worked for that woman for three years, and she's not perfect.

I don't want you to walk away from this thinking that I think Hillary Clinton is perfect, but the woman knows so fucking much about healthcare so the changes they've said they wanted to make to this healthcare bill are so you have this divide inside of the Republican Party you have the House Freedom Caucus that says we don't want any requirements. We want Thunderdome out there, healthcare-wise.

And then you have the more, the quote-unquote moderates in the Republican Caucus saying, we don't want to lose re-election. So we want to keep things like basic standards for pre-existing conditions, et cetera, et cetera. And so they've come to this sort of compromise, which will be some form of waivers for states. So states that want to keep the rules can keep them. States that want to turn their ERs into the primary care system for anyone who doesn't work at Goldman Sachs,

they can do that as well. So that's like Alabama, right? They'll do that and be like, we didn't do the Medicaid thing because we don't care about half our people. We'll fuck them this way too. So here's the thing. We talked about healthcare for a long time. We got really excited. We had tons of rallies. The town halls were great. Now our guard's down and the bill looks like it could come back. And I think this is a question that's been on a lot of the minds of a lot of people, which is how do we stay energized? This is exactly. So first of all, it's a podcast. Sorry. Condor Kondabolu, just got here. Sorry about that.

And here's the thing. This is so frustrating, because you're getting welcomed like a conquering hero for being late. And while I know it's Delta's fault, and fuck Delta... Well, I'm not going to be angry at Delta, because I got here, and I'm not bleeding.

And... And so they're already ahead of the game already. You started without me? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Nice to meet you, John. Nice to meet you. Good to see you. Thank you for being here. To catch you up,

healthcare chaffetz O'Reilly. Oh, yeah. So the question I just put to our panel, of which you are now a part, is they're going to bring health care back for another vote. It's really hard to maintain our energy and our enthusiasm. What do we do to stay paying attention when every day brings kind of a new crisis?

Well, that's a larger question. That's not just about health care. No, it isn't. Oh. Well, the thing that I've been telling people of late is that in times like this, it's important to consume as much art as possible, right? Especially from, like, notable comedians.

You're here for three seconds and you're trying to move your album? Look, I lost 20 minutes up top. We gotta get this going. So, I mean, I think that, like, just, I think it's always important to remember that there's been struggle throughout the history of the world.

This isn't the first one. And I don't think that, like, us folding at what is happening now is going to be useful to anybody. Every time people say that they're going to move to Canada, I get furious because it's such a, like, liberal, coward way to behave.

You know what I mean? And no one's ever done it. Their Bill of Rights was written in 1982 when Cheers was on the air. It's not paradise. That's your frame of reference for the long, the arc of history is long, but it bends towards justice.

That's how you think about it. Yes. They got free speech in the 80s. Some people say that the topic section at the top of the show does meander. John,

my greatest fear is that the House Republicans will go to a white suburban mom and hand her a list of all of the things in Obamacare. And then she will check off the ones that they like. And they'll just pass that. And they'll be able to pretend like they've done something that matters. And luckily, they're a mess and imploding constantly and can't agree on anything. And it does kind of bother me that Democrats are so frequently like,

we're too much sticks in the mud. We need to have a civil war like the Republicans have had so that we can get nothing done too. So I think that's going to be a good transition to our break because when we come back, we're going to do OK Stop and we're going to do an OK Stop

about this very subject. The subject of democratic infighting. So we'll be right back. And we're back! This is a segment we call OK Stop. Here's how it works. We're going to watch a clip on this screen. And as it goes, we're just going to stop and pause to talk about it.

Now, usually on OK Stop, we just kind of make fun of Sean Spicer. That's been sort of the gist. But today is a nuanced OK Stop because this is a conversation between Bernie Sanders and Tom Perez, the head of the DNC, and a conversation they had on the Chris Hayes show. And I think it raises a lot of really interesting questions. So let's roll the clip.

The American people understand that we can't bring about the changes that we want. Health care for all, making public colleges and universities tuition free, transforming our energy system away from fossil fuel, unless we have the guts to point the finger at the ruling class of this country, the billionaire class and Wall Street and say, you know what? Your greed is destroying this country. And you know what? We're going to take you on. And I think when you make that statement, a lot of people start nodding their heads and they say, yeah, that's what we've got to do. See, this is what's key to me. And Tom, I want to hear you talk about this. Do you see the world

that way, Tom? Is that the democratic message? Do you think it's important as the senator sitting next to you just said to say the ruling class, his words of this country are basically screwing average folks? Okay, stop. I want to stop it here because this is a really hard question for the head of the DNC to answer. Tom's going to have a lot to answer for next time he's in Martha's Vineyard. So, I wanted to pause it before we hear Tom's answer, because Tom's sort of in a difficult spot. And we like Tom Perez at Pod Save America. We like him in Austin. And I actually don't know Tom Perez that well,

but Dan Pfeiffer, who I trust implicitly, loves this guy. And this is like Dan vouches, and I'm good with it. But he's in this difficult spot. He has to raise money. He's head of the DNC. What does he say, right? Because clearly the energy in that, he wants to agree, right? But he doesn't feel like he's totally comfortable. And I guess the question is why, what do you think he should have said before we hear how Tom handled this? Well, first of all, I just want to say that Chris Hayes, his face right now is expressing everything. Just what's happening. I didn't expect this to happen. I have to do this. Rachel Maddow slamming her head against a wall in the back. I mean, I would go with the classic hope change combo.

I realize... I think just bring back the hits, just try to remind people and then move on. I think you should just say the economic message a lot so Bernie fans feel like they're getting lip service while at the same time not frightening anyone who keeps those ads on the air? I think you should compliment Chris's glasses and ask where he got the frames. So those are three great options.

Let's see what Tom did. Well, listen, you know, when we put hope on the ballot, Chris, we win. When we allow our opponents to... Let's pause it. What are you applauding for? He did what Hari said, and it fucking sucked. So he says, so Bernie

Sanders says, billionaires in the ruling class are fucking you. And Chris says, do you agree? And Tom says, when we put hope on the ballot, Democrats win. Now, I understand why he did that. I understand that he feel like he didn't have the words to agree with Bernie without saying, but being kind of class warfare, what have you, even though maybe he kind of should just agree with Bernie. How do we change this kind of dynamic where Bernie Sanders says something that gets people applauding,

gets people feeling really good about it, and then the mainstream part of the Democratic Party just doesn't agree? Am I wrong to think that Tom should have agreed with Bernie? Well, turns out when we create policies for the United States, they have to be somewhat acceptable to 300 million people, which means when one of the people says, let's tear down the homes of the richest and most successful, you can't scare the richest and most successful in the process. You have to, like, give them a gentle shoulder massage while you take 60% of their income. Yeah, it's kind of like getting a bunch of people to agree where they want to eat.

You know, like everyone will end with pizza always. And probably just cheese. You probably can't decide on a topic. Yeah, but I feel like Bernie Sanders is always like, I know this great macrobiotic raw place. You gotta try it. John, would you like my grand observation on Bernie Sanders?

Yes. Anytime Bernie Sanders says anything, it sounds like he is sending back soup. Let's keep rolling the clip. Beer on the bell. We don't do so well. I believe that an economy has to work for everyone. Hillary Clinton ran.

Hillary Clinton. This is my point. Hillary Clinton ran on hope. She ran on hope. It was a very hopeful message. And the point is, do you have to name the enemy? That's my question. Do you have to say these are the people that are.

Stop. Can I say Hillary Clinton didn't run on hope. She ran on eight-year-old hope. She ran on, let's keep more of this hope going. Okay. Well, listen, I think you're creating a false choice, Chris. What we have to do as Democrats is to articulate very clearly that Donald Trump's vision for America is a vision for the top 1% of the 1%. It's a vision that's divisive.

When he talks about the make it in America executive order, if you turn over the sheet on that executive order, it probably says made in China. You got 50 pounds. Okay, stop. on that executive order, it probably says made in China. You got, you know, 50 pounds. Okay, stop. So, he's trying to, I think this is really interesting, I think it's actually important that we figure out

why Tom Perez, the head of the Democratic National Committee, doesn't sound as good as Bernie Sanders, when he's basically saying the same thing. This is just a sort of a subtle tone disagreement, right? He lands on 1%, he says, you know, we have to have policies that don't favor the rich, which is basically what Bernie Sanders was saying. Yet, it's a kind of sanded down version. And I guess the question is, why does the democratic establishment feel that that's

the right way to speak? And how do we get a better set of words? Like, what do we have to do to bridge this divide? Basically, because Bernie Sanders, look, I supported Hillary Clinton in the election, but the lesson I take away from 2016 is we need to understand why and kind of harness the fact that Bernie Sanders managed to appeal in a very powerful way to tens of millions of people. And I just don't know how you bridge that difference, right? That we end up sounding like old school democratic politicians when we're basically trying to say the same thing. I don't know. I mean, I think they're all, this is going to sound weird, but they're all

too old and overeducated. You know, this is, and I'm not saying that, well, that's why Trump's the best because he, but like, but there is something about, Bernie speaks to people really directly, and sure, he has a bunch of numbers and stuff, but at the core he's really good at hammering home that message.

And it feels like, generally speaking, that is not a thing they can do, because they're speaking to their peers. They're speaking to the media. They're speaking to other politicians, right? You can't speak this way to the American people and expect them to understand, because it sounds like bullshit. Even if it's not bullshit,

it sounds like bullshit. Being sensible isn't sexy, and the only reason it worked for Obama is because we had a young, hot, black guy being sensible at us. That's true, right? Democrats are now kind of in the wilderness, and I think one of the lessons that we, that one of the reasons Hillary Clinton lost

is they believed that that Obama coalition was waiting, but it turns out, actually, Barack Obama was an extraordinary departure who managed to win two strong victories despite about a lot of liabilities that his very presence was just sort of covering over. And that's why I wanted to do this OK Stop, because

I think Tom Perez is going to be a great leader of the Democratic National Committee, but it's not his fault that we have given him the worst fucking words. Like, we just need better words that people can relate to. Or better cheekbones what if just you had somebody who was hotter and 37 saying those same things I'd be excited you think it's a casting thing yeah I'm saying whatever happened to was his name Harold Ford that congressman from

Tennessee very handsome man very Green eyes. I think that guy. He was apparently so good looking you didn't notice that he was kind of a middle of the road conservative Democrat. Exactly. He did his job successfully. He got elected as a Democrat in Tennessee and I liked it because he had pretty eyes.

What about Martin O'Malley in a sleeveless shirt? Those abs. what about martin o'malley in a sleeveless shirt those apps so i think we know how to get guys vote but anyway i just think this is like an important conversation about making sure that we're figuring out the policies and the the words and the way of speaking that can make this less horrible to watch i mean like this is a generation of young voters who like the word totes. I mean, I feel like... So you want more totes thrown in the mix?

What does totes mean? I think it's like, totally. Totally. Oh! Like... But see, exactly. So you can't appeal to me, a 34-year-old who acts like a 58-year-old. You need to find other people.

I mean, that's one thing Bernie Sanders has been talking about, like investing in a young Democratic Party, which they have. Maybe they need a millennial interpreter. Oh, that's good. It's like a single payer fam. We're going to put

America's problems on blast. Yep. Yeah. Healthcare going to be lit. I want to see a 400-page healthcare bill written entirely in emojis. Ooh. That's a great idea.

And that's okay. Stop. When we come back, I'm going to sit down with the man challenging Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, Congressman Beto O'Rourke. All right. And we're back. Joining me now, he's a congressman from the great state of Texas.

He's just announced that he will be challenging Senator Ted Cruz in the 2018 election. Congressman Beto O'Rourke. Thank you for coming. Thank you. Thanks. It's nice. Okay, so first and foremost, I do not like when someone else gets more applause than me.

So we're going to work on that in post. I'm going to fix that digitally. Nobody will know that that happened. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me on. I got to tell you, my sister-in-law, Christina, is your biggest fan in the world and is so excited that I'm here. And you took a picture with me earlier. So I'm going to send it and it's going to absolutely make her day.

Thanks for having me on and making her life better and making my marriage to Amy even more successful. I want you to know that everything about my body language is trying to betray a humbleness. Like I'm surprised by this level. But I think it's exactly right. So I'll admit something to you. I actually didn't know anything about you, except for one

great quality, which is that you are not Ted Cruz. I'll take it. Thank you. But I was really glad to get to learn more about you and excited to hear more about you today. So one thing is, so first of all, just who are you and why are you running against Ted Cruz for the Senate? My name is Beto O'Rourke. I'm from El Paso, Texas. Do we have any El Pasoans here?

We're everywhere. Lifelong Texan, married to Amy for 12 years, have three kids, Ulysses, Molly, and Henry back in El Paso, Texas. Ulysses, that's a big name for a kid. It's a big name. And he's the kid that can live up to it. And I've been in Congress now. This is my third term serving on the Veterans Affairs Committee, serving on the Armed Services Committee. I was a small business owner before that. And like many of the people in the room tonight, was watching the election returns and was just stunned. And Amy turned to me and she said, we've got to do something better than this. And so even though she's not a big fan of politics or the career that I'm in right

now, she said, why don't you get out there, get after it, go meet some people in Texas and see if we can do something better. And so three weeks ago to the day, I announced that I'm running to replace Ted Cruz and represent this great state in the U.S. Senate. That works here. Yeah. One thing that you said is that you're not taking any PAC money or money from the leadership PACs. Right. Why not? One of the biggest surprises when I got to D.C. is, like a lot of you, I figured everybody in Congress is a bum. You know, why is this place so dysfunctional? Why doesn't it work? Why have we been talking for 30 years about immigration reform and not being able

to get it done? Big surprise was that most of the folks up there are really good people trying to do their best for their communities. And the other big surprise explains why they aren't able to get it done. Money drives just about every decision and every consideration and almost every minute of the day for almost every member of Congress. And so when I get to the House Veterans Affairs Committee, why am I, as a freshman, one of the most senior members of that committee? Because there's absolutely no money involved in that committee. Never mind that the VA, for many veterans, is unreachable at a time that 20 today, 20 tomorrow,

20 every day until we get this fixed, will take their own lives because they don't have access to mental health care. Why isn't that the burning issue in Congress? There's no PACs who give to members on the House Veterans Affairs Committee. There's no money involved. If you want to make money, if you want to get re-elected, if you want to be powerful, you're on Ways and Means, you're on Energy and Commerce, which regulates the telecom industry, the ISPs, oil and gas, and health care. You're not on the House Veterans Affairs Committee.

And so I want to walk the walk. Democrats are really good about talking about this. Look, we hate PAC money. We hate dark money. We hate special interest money. We hate talking to corporations to get their cash. But we're going to keep doing it so that we can get in power. And then once we do, we'll change the laws and we'll make it better.

And of course, we never do. And it's part of the debate that you were having earlier in the last segment. And so we're going to walk the walk. And we've shown, in the first two weeks of this campaign, 10,000 people, primarily from Texas,

gave to this campaign because they knew their voice and their donation was going to fuel this campaign, drive knew their voice and their donation was going to fuel this campaign, drive us to victory. We don't need the corporations. We don't need the PAC money. We don't need the special interests.

And I think it's not just going to allow us to win in Texas. I think it's going to help us change our democracy and how elections are won all over this country. I think that's great. Yeah. and how elections are won all over this country. I think that's great. Yeah. And I think, you know, one thing that's been interesting is there is a newfound energy that's actually leading to more donations

and maybe people not having to take corporate money, not having to take PAC money. How do you see day-to-day the money changing the way somebody behaves beyond just sort of choosing their issues? I mean, do you see members of Congress that you know could do better, be better, but for the fact that they feel the influence of money driving their decisions?

Absolutely. So as Lawrence Lessig has said about this, issues one through 10 that you came to Congress to work on, those are never going to change. No one can pay you enough money to change your convictions on those. You will vote, however, on about 1,200 different issues in a congressional session.

So issues 11 through 1,200 that may not affect your district, may not be what you care about, you may not have the subject matter expertise, if there's $10,000, $20,000, $50,000, $100,000 connected to that, and you don't really care about the outcome, why not vote for the money and the interest represented by it? That allows you to get back into Congress so you can work on issues one through ten. So it's not done with malice. It's not done with bad intent. It's the inevitable byproduct, though, of our system of elections right now, which depend almost exclusively on how much money you can raise. And the fastest way to do it is to go through PACs. And so for many members that I serve with, it is a luxury to sit through an entire committee hearing. As you know, most will come in, say their five minutes, make their point, grandstand a little bit,

and then get out of the room and go into a cubicle and a boiler room and make calls during call time to raise money to get re-elected. That system is producing the dysfunction that you are so dissatisfied with. And we as Democrats, let's just say we as Americans, cannot continue to say we will not unilaterally disarm. We'll continue to take that money. And then once we get into power, we're going to change it. We've got to change it in our way to power. And so we're going to run this without special money, without corporate cash. Now, I don't want to spend too much time on the horse race,

though a poll did come out that showed it to be a neck-and-neck race already. But it's a year out. Guys, it's a poll a year out. If polls a year out were reliable, Donald Trump would just be some asshole in New York. I'm sorry. I'm on my best behavior.

But one of the things that you're going to have to do is appeal to a lot of moderates, right? And I think that this message about getting money out of politics, that's an important message. And I guess my question would be, we saw this clip before of Sanders versus Perez, and that's a bit of a policy dispute. It's also a tone dispute.

I guess, Mike, what do you think when you see Bernie make this case about the ruling class and Tom sort of struggle with it? You've got to let people know who you are. You have to have the courage of your convictions. You've got to stand for something. So when we talk about health care, I think it's important to talk about trying to work on a bipartisan basis, trying to improve the Affordable Care Act, trying to make common sense changes. No one can argue with that. But what people get really excited about and the conclusion that I've come to is that we need a single-payer system that guarantees that health care is a right. When we talk about criminal justice reform, you know, it's easy enough to say that Republicans and Democrats can agree that we need to reform our criminal justice system.

What we need to talk about is ending the drug war that has put more people in prison in this country than any other country and ending the prohibition on marijuana. When we talk about why we are an endless war and that every single war we've fought since 9-11, which, by the way, fewer than 1% of this country have borne the battle for those wars, those have been put on the national credit card. We wrote a bill, Republicans and Democrats, that forces us to pay for war as we fight it.

And the proceeds from that surtax to pay for those wars goes into a fund that can only be used for veterans so that we never again have an excuse for not being able to get a veteran in who has post-traumatic stress disorder or traumatic brain injury or military sexual trauma into a VA center. So these are real proposals. We don't need to talk about our opponent. You have formed your judgment of the junior senator from the state of Texas. I don't need to tell you how to feel about him. What you need to know about me. I love him. Yeah. I love his vibe. I love when he shuts down the government. Um, I, you know, he's just such a cool guy. Sorry. So you want to hear, you know, what I, what I can do for you and, and where, where we are going to be able to make life better for Texans.

And we cannot talk in generalities, and we cannot try to tack to some mythical middle that does not exist. We've got to be who we are. And people will respect that, and they'll say, hey, Beto, I disagree with you on item X, but I love the other issue, and I like the fact that you're just being up front with me and you're straight about what you think,

and I think that you're going to be accountable and that I can trust you, and so I want you to represent my interests in the Senate. We're betting on the belief that if we are real with each other, if we travel to every one of the 254 counties of Texas, listen to everyone, I don't care if you've got an R or a D before your name, that we're going to be able to do something that is not just going to allow us to take back Texas, it's going to help us take back this country. I'm in, man.

That's it. I'm too easy an interview for you. I'm on board. So we were really excited to have the congressman join us, and we wanted to play a game. And so we're going to introduce a new and probably one-time segment. It is a game called Cruise or Crockett. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, And if you like that, there's more of that song coming your way.

So let me tell you how this game works. Beneath each of our chairs, we have some quotes. Some of these quotes are by Senator Ted Cruz of Texas. Some of these quotes are by the king of the wild frontier, hero of the Alamo, Davy Crockett. Jackie is at the microphone. Hi, guys. Hi, Jackie. Hi, friend of the pod. Yes. Now,

once again, I'm rewarding people for shouting during shows because you shouted Oprah as a suggestion for someone who should run for president at our previous event in Austin. Only because you couldn't think of anybody good, so. I don't want any sass. I'm not looking for sass. You gave me sass. I'm giving you sass, honey.

So happy with Jackie. I feel good about it. And you're from Texas. I live in Austin. I've been here 10 years. I'm actually from Pittsburgh, but I. I don't want a life story. Is it Texas on the driver's license? I'm more of a Texan than you are. For sure. Does it say Texas on your driver's license? It does, sir, yes. Terrific. So here's how the game works. We're going to alternate reading quotes,

and you're just going to have to decide, is this a quote by Davy Crockett, or is this a quote by Ted Cruz? And some of them are going to be tricky. Okay. Got it. We'll start with Congressman O'Rourke. As to what I have seen of Texas,

it is the garden spot of the world. The best land, best prospects for health I ever saw is here. There is a world of country to settle. Oh, that's easy. Davy Crockett. There it is. You're one for one now I should let you know

that if you get them all right you do get a gift card to parachute sheets which I left in LA but we will mail it to you unless Cruz shuts the government down your next quote again

Cruz or Crockett my fans are here, sorry. I'm going to tell you what I really think of Donald Trump. This man is a pathological liar. The man cannot tell the truth, but he combines it with being a narcissist, a narcissist at a level I don't think this country has ever seen. And I say pathological because I actually think Donald,

if you hooked him up to the lie detector test, he could say one thing in the morning and one thing in the evening, all contradictory, and he would pass the test every time. The man is immoral. He will betray you on every issue across the board. Now, was that the former congressman from Tennessee who came to support the Texas Revolution, Davy Crockett, coonskin hat, or is it Senator Ted Cruz? It's really hard, but I'm going to say it's Ted Cruz. Okay.

That is correct. Where are these dings? We're done with dings. Congressman, you're up. I am no man's man. I bark at no man's bid. I will never come and go and fetch and carry at the whistle of the great man in the White House,

no matter who he is. Cruiser Crockett. Crockett? It's Crockett. That's right. Next quote. I am not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my father. And that pledge was not a blanket commitment

that if you go and slander and attack Heidi that I'm going to come back like a servile puppy dog and say thank you very much for maligning my wife and maligning my father. Was it Cruz or was it Crockett? I think it's Cruz.

Correct. Congressman, you're up. I would rather be beaten and be a man than to be elected and be a little puppy dog. I have acted fearless and independent, and I will never regret my course. I see a pattern. Crockett.

That was Crockett. You are correct. Our final quote. After many months of careful consideration, of prayer and searching my own conscience, I have decided that on election day, I will vote for the Republican nominee, Donald Trump.

Was that, was that coonskin, hat-wearing, king of the wild frontier, Davy Crockett, or capitulating, craven U.S. Senator Ted Cruz? The second one is Cruz. It's Cruz. You have won. Cruz or Crockett.

Your prize is in the mail. Thank you so much. Thank you, Congressman Beto O'Rourke. Before you go, thank you. Before you go, look, you know, I did want to say something, which is this is a crazy time, right? I mean, Donald Trump is president. It's heartbreaking. It's scary. It's frustrating every day. And I think one obvious part that's come out of it is that there is this energy and there is this enthusiasm, but there's a less obvious positive, which is we don't have

to listen to people to say what's possible or not possible. You're going to have a hard race, obviously. But I genuinely believe that you're the kind of person who sounds like a human being, who cares, who's running on what you believe in. And I think people like that today can win at a moment when there's never been more energy in our politics. Thank you. So. Thank you. politics. Thank you. So thank you. Uh, and, and this isn't just about Donald Trump and it's not just about Ted Cruz and it's not just about Ted Cruz. Somebody who I think has been a terrible

representative of, of the values we should have for anyone who represents us anywhere in this country. But even that aside, I think it's so important that we have people standing up for what they care about, uh, even when it's hard. And that's, I think it's so important that we have people standing up for what they care about, even when it's hard. And that's why I'm so proud that you came here today. Proud to have you on the stage. We have a code, guys.

If you want to get involved, if you want to help Beto win this race and defeat Ted Cruz, you can text L-O-V-E-T-T, love it, to 90975. That's real. Text the code love it to 90975 and That's real. Text the code love it to 90975

and the campaign will get in touch with you and I hope you do it. Beto O'Rourke. Thanks. Thank you so much. That was awesome. When we come back, the rant wheel with our panel.

And we're back. We'll close tonight with our panel, which returns to the stage for the rant wheel. Here are the topics on today's rant wheel. We have Bernie's podcast, which has just been a bee in my bonnet we have why Hillary lost in quotes as in everybody having a reason Juicero, the juicer that doesn't work go-go in-flight wifi as always the rant wheel itself, which is meta and Sarah Palin's White House tour finally, audience chooses, which is if we land on that

you'll just shout things, and we'll talk about them let's roll the wheel. It has landed on go-go in-flight Wi-Fi. $27 to be able to check my mail slowly? It is never worth it. And they tempt you. You're so bored and you get so tempted and you're like, I guess so. Oh no, I did it again. And also, it's so expensive. There's no price point that feels right. It's like $40 for a whole flight, $8 for half an hour. You can go fuck yourselves. What is going on at those headquarters?

What do they feel when they go to the office like another great day, another great day of garbage internet for insane prices? Like, do you tell your friends, like, actually, I work at Fox News. I don't work at GoGo. Well, there's an easy way to lower the price.

This is what I do. Okay, so I buy the thing for $27, right? And then what I do is I call and say that it didn't work. And then I get to use it again and then call and say it didn't work. And then I just, yeah. That's a lot. That's a lot to do. I'm shocked.

It's been a slow year for the career because I have time to do this. But it's been effective. It's a way to save money, and because I have time to do this. But it's been effective. It's a way to save money, and all you have to give up is dignity. I'm going to go ahead and say Boingo Hotspot can also go to hell. Yeah, that's right. Fuck the Boingo people. Fuck the go-go people. Let's spin it again.

Oh! it has landed on the bernie podcast oh so everybody's gotta have a fucking podcast first of all the sound quality is not even that good and it's still number one on the charts like leave like you are 72 years old you don't't need a podcast. It's not for you. Do a radio show. Do, like, The Shadow. Remember The Shadow? Where the coconuts are the horses? Do something from your generation. Leave us, leave the... Listen, I can basically see millennial.

I can almost get in the door. Leave podcasting to us. Hey, he knows his core demographic. Like, slightly surly, heterosexual, 32-year-old man. Leave podcasting to us. Hey, he knows his core demographic. Like, slightly surly, heterosexual, 32-year-old men. Podcast, IPA. Like, he's marketing right to them. Mustache wax. Sorry.

No, does Bernie's podcast have a sponsor? No, he's not even making any money on it. It's just a, it's a socialist podcast. And I'm over here, I'm over here. I'm moving underwear. I'm moving watches. I'm moving sheets. I'm building a business.

Capitalism is my Kickstarter. And he's out there like, I just want to have interesting conversations about issues I care about. Fuck that. Spin it again. One more spin. about issues I care about. Fuck that.

Spin it again. One more spin. Before they kick us out of the venue. Whoa. Great. Shattered? All right, let's talk about Shattered. Shattered is the book that just came out this week that is a kind of play-by-play of what went wrong

in the Hillary campaign. So let's talk about Shattered really quickly. Shattered is the book that just came out this week that is a kind of play-by-play of what went wrong in the Hillary campaign. So let's talk about Shattered really quickly. Shattered is written by two reporters. They talk to everybody. I'm sure the stories are right. The take is probably not right, right? But the thing about these books is they paint every, like, look, a campaign wins, their geniuses campaign loses, and they're all idiots.

The thing is, the Hillary Clinton campaign made a lot of mistakes. Hillary Clinton has made a lot of mistakes on her way to not being president, obviously. No, look, this is the truth. She lost an election. She should have won the election. Big, big forces made Trump possible, but little tiny things had to go wrong for him to win.

All that means is every explanation is true, right? Hillary didn't connect with people enough. True. Her campaign made some very big mistakes. Like forgetting that Wisconsin was a state. They put a tie menu on that part of the board. Oh, what are you, in the tank? Come on.

She can't hurt you anymore. I love her. Yes, she can. She has Secret I love her yes she can she has secret service coverage for the rest of her life but also if Comey hadn't written that dumb fucking letter she'd be president absolutely if our country

didn't have so much misogyny not just among the voters but amongst the way she was covered she would be president absolutely true and you know Nate Silver made this point recently, and I think it's a really good one. The country has done some, the media has done soul searching as to why they covered Trump poorly, but none on how they covered Hillary Clinton, making the email scandal into some giant catastrophe. All that, all I'm saying is

100,000 votes go a different way, Hillary Clinton's president, and they all like look like geniuses. But Hillary Clinton is sui generis, right? The reason she lost is both caused by her and by a lot of larger things we do need to learn lessons from. So the book shattered. I'm not going to read the book. I saw the excerpts, whatever. But I do think it's important that we don't act like every word in that book is wrong. Because Donald Trump is president. Everything went wrong. A cascade of failures across the board. We may not recover, but if we do, it'll be because we learned some things. That's the rant wheel.

Let's leave it there. I don't have anything else to say. I want to thank Hari Kondabolu, Guy Branham, Aparna Nancherla. I want to thank Hari especially for making it here and bringing his A-game for the time he was here. I appreciate it. I mean, to be fair, I was contractually obligated to be here. You know what? We didn't need to get into it. Thanks for coming.

And thanks to Beto O'Rourke. What a show. Thanks, Austin. Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee Greenest state in the land of the free Raised in the woods so's he knew of a tree Killed him a bear when he was only three Davey, Davey Crockett

Definitely jumped that cruise Well, the votes were counted and he won hands down So they sent him off to Washington town With his best dress suit, skills, but the skin's frown A living legend Of growing day now Davey, Davey Cocky Definitely not Ted Cruz

There's a fourteen verses To this song But I couldn't sing another Cause they're all too racist Well I guess it was A different time Wait, hang on It was 1955

Davey, Davey Cuckin. Definitely love Ted Cruz. Davey, Davey Cuckin. When she about to be Ted Cruz. Davey, Davey Cuckin.