Lovett or Leave It - Bros Before Roe

Episode Date: October 6, 2018

Donald Trump's wealth began with brazen tax fraud, Brett Kavanaugh hurtles toward confirmation, Fox News wants a culture that never ever changes, and sure, we have bigger fish to fry, but paper straws are bad, OK? Neal Brennan, Amanda Seales, and Michaela Watkins are back to help break down the week's news. Plus with the help of expert Dave Fleischer, Jon and Michaela demonstrate the dos and don'ts of door-to-door canvassing. The election is one month away, people. Let's go. To canvass with the Leadership LAB, text or call 424-256-1994 to volunteer.

Good evening, Los Angeles. It's great to be back at the Improv. Good evening, Los Angeles. It's great to be back at the improv. Supposed to be here two weeks ago. Tommy put something in my food. Couldn't make it. For the next four weeks, we're going to do four election specials. They will be hosted by Guy Branum and Aaron Ryan.

And you guys should all come because they're going to be great. We're going on the road with Pod Save America. HBO show. Live from Miami next Friday. That's crazy. I'm going to cut this. It is pretty cool to see your face in that HBO logo. It's like, nice.

Take that, high school. Oh, you're gonna trick me into getting into a blue recycling bin? I'm on HBO. Oh. Before we start the show, and we're gonna talk about our Supreme Court bromine. Yeah, we'll get to it. God damn it. I want to start by talking about another story, a big story that broke this week, which is the New York Times investigation into Trump's taxes. Now, Trump

has said that he only received a million dollar loan. Only. Who among us has it needed that little push out of the nest? Fly, little Donald, said Fred. You can do it. Here's a million dollars. But that was a lie. He actually received at least $60 million

or $140 million in today's dollars. I never get that. I like that that was the thing Trump took issue with, by the way. He's like, stop converting it using inflation. It makes it sound worse. Do it in 80s dollars. Do it in the dollars that were covered in cocaine. Trump has said that he had to repay his father back with interest.

However, by age three, Trump was earning $200,000 a year. He was a millionaire by age eight. Little fuck. By the time he was in his 40s, Trump was receiving more than $5 million a year from his dad. Trump's parents transferred well over $1 billion in wealth to their children, which could have been taxed

at a rate of 55% or 550 million, but because of illegal tax dodges, Trump only paid a 5% rate. And it's like, it feels like it doesn't matter. I know like even reading this story, you're like, okay, he's a fraud. We know he's a fraud. We care. The people that we want to care don't care. But the thing I was thinking about is the fact that Michael

Cohen is very stupid and he made a lot of money. Now, he made a lot of money in a way that seems like it was pretty illegal and it was able to stand up to the scrutiny of just some douche in New York, but it wasn't able to stand up to the scrutiny of, oh my God, Robert Mueller's involved. There is so much white-collar crime that is not punished in this country. It is crazy. It is staggering. This is going on all the time. Republicans want to repeal the estate tax.

Meanwhile, they don't care when people like Donald Trump and Fred Trump don't use the estate tax, get around the estate tax. They want to cut the IRS so there are fewer people to investigate these kinds of crimes. The DCCC came out with an ad this week that was fucking fantastic. And it basically had a bunch of people around a table being rich and talking about how cool it was that they got a tax cut. It's a great ad. You should check it out.

And the fact that I'm praising a DCCC ad tells you that I mean it. raising a DCCC ad, tells you that I mean it. But it was unabashedly addressing what is, I think, at the core of what's going on with this Trump story. There is such brazen criminality going on amongst people like Donald Trump, the people that made their money like Donald Trump, and inequality is a policy choice. It is a specific policy choice being made by the United States,

not being made by other countries. And stories like this one in the New York Times are a reminder of that. So even though it feels like figuring out that Donald Trump is more of a fraud than we thought now is pretty useless,

Democrats should be talking about this thing more. That's all. All right, let's start the show. She is an actress and comedian currently starring in Hulu's Casual. Please welcome back to the show, Michaela Watkins. How you doing? I brought my own water.

Cool. Your jumpsuit is cool. Thank you. I hope nobody has a seizure from it. I bought it in New York when all my clothes were in the wash. It's cool. Thank you. I hope nobody has a seizure from it. I bought it in New York when all my clothes were in the wash, and I walked in looking like a disgusting slob, and I came out in this, out of the store,

and I was like, I'm going to go rob a bank right now. The cool thing about that is, if a bunch of people were wearing it at once, the predators wouldn't know if they were looking at a bunch of really cool people it at once, the predators wouldn't know if they were looking at a bunch of really cool people or one giant cool person. You know? Cool. He's a comedian and co-creator of Chappelle's show.

You can see him on the Here We Go Tour. Please welcome back Neil Brennan. How you doing, Neil? I'm great, buddy. How about you? Do you remember when I first started hosting this show and I didn't know how to introduce people and you taught me how to introduce people on stage? Yeah. John would go,

Michaela Watkins is a woman who had done... I started with the name. Casual. You can't start with the name. That's obvious in hindsight. Here is that lady. It's also the thing,

people at home, you would introduce everybody but not talk to anybody, and then they would start talking, and I'm going, whose voice? I don't know who to assign the name to the voice.

That's why we do this little chat now. Oh, good. Oh, it's happening. This is Neil Brennan. And she is a comedian the founder of smart funny and black please welcome back amanda seals yeah hi amanda i am amanda seals let's get into it.

What a week. Earlier today, the Senate finally got a chance to look at the thorough and honest and definitely convincing FBI investigation into Brett Kavanaugh. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell filed cloture on the nomination, setting the initial vote on the nomination for Friday. Leader Mitch McConnell filed cloture on the nomination, setting the initial vote on the nomination for Friday. And then, if successful, this could result in a final vote on Kavanaugh's nomination on Saturday when this podcast is released. However, there was a wrench in the works.

The Republican senator from Montana, Steve Daines, always there, so good. His daughter is getting married on Saturday, and he said, I don't give a fuck about what's going on in D.C. My daughter's getting married. And and he said, I don't give a fuck about what's going on in D.C. My daughter's getting married and I was like, I respect that you're still voting for Kavanaugh, so fuck you, but I still respect that

so now we don't know what's going to happen with this vote but, regardless they're sort of hurtling towards a final vote on Kavanaugh. Earlier this week it became clear that the investigation did not really look into very much at all. Not only did they never speak to Brett Kavanaugh or Dr. Blasey Ford, they also refused to interview several critical witnesses. The New Yorker was reporting that the FBI ignored requests from former Kavanaugh classmates to be heard.

One witness, Dr. Kenneth Appel, who has won two Fulbright fellowships. I don't know why we're giving this guy a plug. Like what? That makes him better than us? He can write a good essay, is what I'm taking from that. He said he is 100% certain he can corroborate almost all of Debbie Ramirez's allegations against Kavanaugh. He went on to say, quote, I believe her because it matches the same story I heard 35 years ago,

although the two of us have never talked. His college roommate also came forward to corroborate both of their stories, but since the FBI refused to speak with them, they were forced to file a report through an automated computer system on FBI.gov. That feels fucking productive. Today, lawyers for Dr. Blasey Ford announced that had she been interviewed by the FBI, she would have told them they were focusing on the wrong night to try to corroborate her claims. Turns out they've been interviewing people about a different party than the one she attended.

Despite the small scope of the investigation, Joe Manchin, Susan Collins, Lisa Murkowski, and Jeff Flake are all still undecided about the nomination, but seem to believe the FBI investigation may have been thorough. But as we learned last week, things could change fast, and especially when people are calling and protesting and making their voices heard. Yeah. There were a lot of scenes of incredible protests today. Amanda, Heidi Heitkamp, she's the senator from North Dakota. She is a Democrat in an incredibly tough reelection, probably the toughest Senate race that Democrats have. A lot of people were saying that it would be politically dangerous for her to vote against Kavanaugh, but even still today, she decided she was going to vote against Kavanaugh, even though...

Thank you, Heidi. Why do you think that more senators have had trouble getting to that same position? She has said publicly, politically I should vote for this person. But morally I can't. Right. Because more senators don't have morals. Oh, right. Michaela, some people are saying that the FBI investigation was helpful to Republicans because it riled up their base. That there have been conservative intellectuals

basically saying, you've made me appreciate Trump in a way I never did before. Do you think that we should stop trying to stop Trump because it makes people who want Trump to succeed like him? Yeah, like it's the reverse of the reverse psychology. That you show people

how terrible he is and they're like, I want him more. I always know when his base is getting stirred because the trolls will first tell me that it's Obama's fault and then that I need to do my research on YouTube and that I don't know anything and I should shut up you Hollywood shithead. So I think like people are digging their heels. And I had a woman say to me, I was assaulted and therefore I know when someone's lying and she's lying. This whole Kavanaugh-cious, I saw that written today, isn't that good, event. It has completely thrown people into their corners of the ring.

And some people have understanding and compassion and a moral compass. And some people are totally freaked out that their power will be leeched from them through women having a voice. So, Neil, right before we came out, Kavanaugh published a piece in the Wall Street Journal where he basically said he regretted some of the tone he took during that hearing. No, but this is what he said. He said that basically because he felt like he was under...

He doesn't apologize, but he explains. He says that he regrets how emotionally he got, and he wanted to reiterate that he's going to be an impartial judge, but the only reason he was upset, this is what it said, but that he was upset because he felt that he was in front of his wife and his children and his parents, and that he felt

attacked, but he regrets the tone he took at times. It seems like this was an op-ed. When he said he'll be an impartial judge, it was exclamation point, exclamation point. You listen to me. It was, I'll be an impartial judge, you fucking dicks.

You democratic pieces of shit. I'm going to be so even-handed. I'm going to be so fucking even-handed. I'm going to be even-handed the way I was when I tried to get Bill Clinton to talk about blowjobs. I'm Brett fucking Kavanaugh. You can trust me. It felt like an email that he should have sent to Jeff Flake.

That basically, that he knows that Jeff Flake is on the fence. Was it kind of addressed to Jeff Flake? Did he mention Jeff Flake? No, no. They cut the two line in the... Oh, okay, got it, got it, got it. But it's clearly, I mean, this is an audience of three or four people, Jeff Flake, Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, maybe Joe Manchin. Clearly, they're worried. It's

Thursday night. The vote could have been as soon as tomorrow. They're worried that they don't have these people. Jeff Flake is the reason we had this week-long delay. And yet a lot of Democrats think it was all for nothing, that he's going to end up falling in line. What do you think about the way someone like Jeff Flake has behaved this past week or two? I think it's the trying to have it both ways. They are entirely amoral or immoral. And then they throw these little tokens. You know, it's like trashing a hotel room and then leaving like 10 bucks for the maid. Like, I'm a good guy. Like, this is going to make me sleep at night. I think Jeff Flake, by the way, sleeps in a tanning bed.

That's a whole other thing. But they do this stuff to try to seem like they're... I think he sleeps upside down. Yeah, also true. So they can, you know, have it both ways. It's really, like, pretty extraordinary. Yeah. I mean, it's such a crazy time.

I'm not that old, but,, but it's never been like this. And I've asked old people, like, has it ever been like this? And they're like, no. Like, it's just completely different. Have you asked black people? No, I will say, though. Yes. Because it's always been like this.

Yes. No. But at least they tried to pretend that they weren't hypocrites. Now they don't even care. Well, they didn't have to pretend for a long time. They were just like, it's not being a hypocrite. I'm just racist and that's the hot shit. Yeah.

But now... It is pretty staggering to think that we're doing worse than they did during the Anita Hill testimony. And that is a national shame. Yeah, 25 years ago. And everybody thought that this time would be different because everybody knew how badly that went. And they made a whole new and far worse set of mistakes. That's because we keep trying to date the same guy.

Like, this time it'll be different. He won't punch me. But I think that's a pretty good metaphor. Yeah. What are you, metaphor police? What are you, strunk and white? Cool it. Two nights ago, my husband and I had dinner and we walked out of the restaurant and we watched a motorcyclist slam into the side of an Uber, like full body. And I know who I am in these situations, which is I go like this oh my god oh my god oh my god and then I pull out my phone and I call 9-1-1 as far away from the motorcycle as possible my husband is awesome and there's petrol like pouring out I call it petrol because

I'm British um pouring out of uh I'm not pouring out of them I don't know what it's called in a motorcycle but it's what makes it run. Yeah, I think it's gasoline. Okay. Anyway, he got in the middle of the street and rolled the motorcycle out and helped the guy to the curb. And then other people started joining in. And I said, God, I can't believe that's who you are. I know who I am. And he said to me, I used to be that person that would like run to the side. And he said said but the truth is Everybody will watch and not do anything until one person does something and I really thought with flake standing up and saying we need to do something that other people would stop being on the sidelines and watching this horrible assault and

None of them did That's who they are. I mean, I just feel like None of them did. That's who they are. I mean, I just feel like... She's British, everybody. That's her for English. She is. It's fascinating to me, though. I was on a flight the other day, and this guy was sitting behind me.

And it's like, you know when you know what someone looks like before you look at them? I just... I was like, I can hear what you look like them like i just i i was like i can hear what you look like you know he was talking to the guy next to him and the he was like man and it was clear they were strangers and he was like man this testimony they didn't grill her did they they really they really didn't give it to her they really didn't get in her i'm like okay puns and and the guy was like well and you could hear him like trying to be polite about like you sound like a douche and he was just like well you know I I think they did what needed to be done and he was like I don't know I mean they could have really taken her down and really just

got at her and that's the consensus mean, I turned around and was like, they didn't grill her because she's not on trial. She was performing a civic duty. Yep. And he absolutely looked like an assistant football coach at a Texas high school. It's exactly what I thought. The Oakleys.

There was a phone clip and a khaki short. He had a whistle. There was a whistle. But it's fascinating to me because with Clarence Thomas, I don't know in the era of that time how he... I guess really it just boils down to if you're sidled up with the Republicans, they're just going to fight for you, and that's just the end of the story. And I think that's what it boils down to.

And the people that are not standing up, it's more so because I feel like they just don't want to have the chance of not getting fought for. They're like, I'm in the mean girl clique, I'm going to stick in the mean girl clique, and fetch is a thing, I swear. I no longer believe that they have any morality whatsoever. I came to the conclusion this week about Trump. Trump is their dirtbag lawyer. He's Anthony Pelicano.

He's a private investigator. Just get the thing done. I don't care how you do it. And they were always the party of decorum, morality, ethics. And that's over. It's over. So as Democrats, I'm assuming at least a few of you are Democrats,

I don't know what the answer is. But I guess the next time they argue morality, you just have to tell them, please shut the fuck up. I think that's true. You know, I've been thinking about... I read this piece by Benjamin Wittes, who wrote in The Atlantic,

as someone who had defended Kavanaugh previously, why he sort of reluctantly came to the conclusion that Kavanaugh should not be supported, while at the same time saying that he was deeply uncomfortable with the tone that the left has taken about Kavanaugh. And he referenced Pod Save America and Love It or Leave It with hyperlinks.

Okay. That's what they do. They'll slam you, but then give a hyperlink. No, it was, you know, no bad press, but still. I really was trying to think about this. Like, are we being too glib? And I do think maybe, you know, we have taken to being angry

because of how disempowered we are as a party in this moment. We have been vicious about Brett Kavanaugh. And I was thinking about how much we are relying on the idea that what's happening with these Republicans is 100% bad faith. But I think the truth is, it's not 100% bad faith. Because I do think that there are sincere conservatives who look at what's happening and they believe that Brett Kavanaugh has been railroaded they believe it I don't think they're right but they believe it and they believe it in this cynical way because it's a bit of a projection because they look at Dianne Feinstein they look at the Senate Democrats they think these people played a dirty trick on us people like Dr. Ford, people like Debbie Ramirez, they're trying to help their side.

They're acting in bad faith. It was like in a moment of like trying to be as generous as possible to people who sincerely believe that what's happening is wrong on behalf of Brett Kavanaugh and you just, I couldn't make it work. I couldn't

because, no, because it's this trick. It is this trick that they're playing, I think, in part on themselves. Brett Kavanaugh is an honest person. He's a decent, good person like the decent, good people that are judges and lawyers and friends of mine. Therefore, I don't see when he lies about the prior nomination. I don't see when he lies about the Senate spying scandal around the Judiciary Committee

and nominations at the Bush White House. I don't see the dissembling on his role in various Bush-era programs. I don't see that he was obviously, whether you want to call it perjury or not, incredibly deceptive about his drinking, about his behavior towards women, about the entry in his yearbook.

You don't see that. Then you use the fact that you view him as credible and view him as one of yours and view him as someone you trust as exculpatory for the claims that Christine Blasey Ford has made. It's too easy to dismiss it as totally bad faith. It's worth remembering that there's just good old-fashioned partisan bias in there too. And that is when it becomes, you know, really problematic because like you said, when it's about being a Democrat or a Republican over simply just being moral or ethical and we have gotten to that point. The only way to get over it is aliens have to land. Come on! Like, there has to be an

equalizer. Like, there has to be an extinction level event of some kind so either like cook up a plague or come on aliens something Cloverfield

where you at I have to tell you it's just ego it's just like I can't admit I'm wrong cause then I'm wrong so we can't admit that this person is shitty

because then now I'm kinda like complicitly shitty yes and it's funny because at the heart'm kind of like complicitly shitty. Yes. And it's funny because at the heart of all of this is a decision, which is to pull Brett Kavanaugh's to admit weakness, even though they can confirm someone just as, if not more conservative without this baggage.

And they so back themselves into a corner. Now they've so made it Kavanaugh or bust that they've almost gotten rid of their ability to do that before the election justifying their decision to ram this guy through. So yes, maybe all of this boils down to ego. And Democrats didn't do it with Gorsuch. They didn't. No. No. Dianne Feinstein, criminal mastermind,

didn't get it together for Neil Gorsuch. Were the plans not ready yet? Yeah. Had she not been done on her computer? Had she not finished the fucking PowerPoint for the master plan? Uh-huh. Unbelievable.

Bunch of fucking octogenarians sitting up there thinking they're both getting one over on each other. You're just old people. You're just super old people yelling at each other and eating soup and fucking everything up. Unbelievable. You look at that, you're like,

Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Grassley sitting there furious at one another. Neither one of you can trick anybody. You both fell for a Medicare fraud today. When we come back, okay, stop.

Yeah. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Now it's time for Okay, Stop. We'll roll a clip and the panel can say Okay, Stop at any point to comment. Last week, we played a game pointing out

that gender politics in 80s movies are very bad. But the old bridge trolls at Fox News have a different point of view. Let's take a look. Today in the Me Too era, actress Molly Ringwald's kind of changing her perspective on some of the scenes in her classic hits like The Breakfast Club and 16 Candles. She said to NPR that times were different and what was acceptable then is definitely not acceptable now. You know, I never got to- Okay, stop. What a bitch. How dare she say what was acceptable? There is this genre of Fox News response that is like they put up a totally reasonable sentence.

Like, mores evolve. Things that we viewed as acceptable in the past, we come to see as inappropriate. Monster! Everything has been good and the same forever. There was a Fox News story where they were like, these new iPhones can be used to record the police. And it's like, well, yeah. Cameras work on police. I don't understand Molly Ringwald. She said, times are different. What wasn't acceptable now was then, but it shouldn't have been then.

Well, it was then, so it should have been. Wow. It was then, so it should have been. Ipso facto. Show me slavery. You knew I was going there. It was right there. Ipso facto. Show me slavery. You knew I was going there. It was right there. I'm sorry. She made a perfectly coherent sentence

that I don't even know how to say anymore. It had so many words in it that went in different directions. You can't enjoy anything if you go by today's standards, which is why maybe something's wrong. Okay, stop. Who is this guy?

That's Ipso Facto. He's a Fox News checkered shirt wearing face creep. And he may not have a name. I don't know if they've given him a name yet. You have to be on Fox News for three or four weeks. His name is that guy. He's that guy. It's such a funny thing to realize on television.

If we hold art from the past to the standards today, we might feel some dissonance as we watch it. Well, that shouldn't be. Yuck. I want to watch those old rapey James Bond movies and feel fucking great about it. Ah, I'm ipso facto. This is the same argument they're having with kavanaugh

right like oh i mean i saw so many women who were like well back then it wasn't a big deal to grope women but i think what's also changing is the realities of what assault on women is and for a long time like there just simply was no even metric for assaulting women because we didn't have our own bodies anyway there was this disproportionate rule of responsibility where it's like you're not responsible enough to make choices for your body but if you end up in a situation where someone did assault you that was your fault so how does that align and so I think that that's the other thing that's happened like we have come far enough to at least be able to truly truly examine the realities of what assault on women is

in a much more nuanced and really less gray area. And so things that may have seemed like they weren't secrets, eventually, with new information, you're like, oh, that was a goddamn secret. That was a trash-ass situation. And it felt whack back then, and there was no language for it. And now there is language for it, so I need to say something. Yeah. felt whack back then and there was no language for it and now there is language for it, so I need to say something. Why?

I mean, unless this guy has stock in the Criterion collection and he's worried like somebody's going to come after his bounty, I just, I don't. So many people have stock in Criterion. I mean, a lot. It's just this idea, this rigidness,

that how dare we learn from history, and how dare we just kind of go, that was whack, and now we're going to do something different. We're not the group of people that burn art, okay? That's other people. Like, the people who are mad about rape aren't the ones who are burning Billy Joel albums, okay? So this is, you know, it's fine.

Like, Breakfast Club is safe your db collection is safe like nobody's coming after it but it's okay to just go you know that was really weird like i watched mr mom he got mad at his wife when her boss like came in while she was in the shower do anybody remember that scene you watch it again it's okay? And we can kind of go, I don't want to write a scene like that now. And you learn. Why can't anybody learn? You know what? It's also, like, also...

They don't want to learn. They watch it stuck. This is a show for, you know... Backward people. No, it's a show for angry, older people who are scared of change. And Fox News has realized, like, we can keep these people pretty scared of change for a while. And the best day of their life was 1988.

It's not happening in a vacuum. Kavanaugh's going to get nominated probably. Do you know what I mean? As much as women have voices, it seems like they don't yet. It's disgusting and it's terrifying. And again, John, how do we fix it? Well, it's all true

in L.A. and New York and certain Austin, but it's not spreading. I'm doing a date in Austin next week. I'd love to see it. Houston and Dallas as well. Come on out.

All right, let's go. Kat, what do you think right I think that some of the things that these characters said and did may have been problematic however what would a movie be like if none of these characters ever said or did anything problematic would it just be like a bunch of people sitting in a circle and like okay look solid point you know once in a while it is worth taking a moment to break down why something like that is dumb um you hear and you're like that's so dumb it's like why here's why characters do problematic things in movies all the time. No one's saying that the characters can't do bad things.

The point is that the perspective of the film as to what was moral and righteous or funny revealed a problem that we have only discovered with time. So it's not like we're saying that, like, there's not going to be murders in movies because murder is wrong. We're just not going to laugh at it. We're just not going laugh we're just not

gonna laugh at it it's not gonna be funny oh man also it's also to your point too it's like this process is constant and it's gonna happen now in 20 years the movies that we view as being on the cutting edge of being morally righteous are gonna look look fucking wrong to us. And I'm excited to find out how. I did things like four years ago I'm deeply ashamed about. It's going to be all like, this was robot discrimination. Yeah, we're sitting around being like,

what's going to end this partisanship? Oh, right. Computer's ruin took over. And it's worse. Right. Two hours of that and then the credits roll? I don't understand. People are not going to go to the...

These are fake characters doing fake bad things. I think that if you're really spending your time worried about what a fake person did in a fake scene, then things are probably not too bad. Okay, now... She has a single-digit IQ. I also just... Probably not too bad.

Okay, now... She has a single-digit IQ. I also just... At least we know Fox News never gets obsessed with the culture of the movies and TV and the characters and the bias in them. And Christmas. And Christmas. And that's okay, stop.

When we come back, we're gonna play a game called Devil's Triangle. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back! Love him or hate him. Oh, Travis, you monster.

We can all agree that Brett Kavanaugh lied dozens of times before Congress, but thanks to the crack reporting of Ronan Farrow's Golf Buddy, we've been able to

undercover a new piece of information. Brett Kavanaugh was actually telling the truth about one specific thing, the Devil's Triangle. It's a real drinking game

and we're going to play it tonight. Who out there would like to play? Hi, John. Hi, what's your name? My name's Kevin. Kevin.

Long time, first time. What a treat Kevin is so far, huh? Where are you from, Kevin? Pomona. Pomona. Yeah. Yes. Go Huskies.

I don't know. What's a Pomona? Cow Polly Pomona? Go Broncos. Broncos. I never, I always guess Huskies, and it's never Huskies. Here's how it works. Two of our panelists will read a lie Brett Kavanaugh stated under oath during a Senate hearing.

One of the panelists will read a fake lie we made up. You will have to decide which one we made up, and depending on how you answer, the devil in his triangle will require different things of you. Kevin, are you ready? Yes. Question number one. Which of the following is not a real lie told by Brett Kavanaugh?

Is it A? Honestly, Beach Week was 99% sandcastles. Was it B? I got into Yale Law School. That's the number one law school in the country. I had no connections there. I got there by busting my tail in college. Or is it C?

Boofing refers to flatulence. We were 16. What do you think, Kevin? The Boofing one was great, but I want to say B? No. It was the Sandcastles. Kavanaugh lied about having no connections to Yale.

His own grandfather had attended, making him a legacy. And according to judges, high school classmates, the phrase boofing never meant farting, but actually meant anal sex. Yikes. Kevin, because you got the question wrong, you have to complete, it says here, a devil's dare. It's time for a devil dare.

Are you ready, Boof Breath? Dare number one. Empty your pockets and for every loose diamond you find, do a shot of cognac or else you go to public school. All right. I only have two diamonds in my pocket, so I guess that's only two shots. Two shots of cognac for Kevin from Pomona. Go Broncos.

Question two. Which of the following is not a real lie told by Brett Kavanaugh? Is it A. I grew up in a city plagued by gun violence and gang violence and drug violence. Or is it B. My friends and I sometimes got together and had parties on weekends. The drinking age was 18 in Maryland

for most of my time in high school, and I was 18 in D.C. for all of my time in high school. Or is it C? A glory hole is just a hole in the side of a church that boys would peer through to steal a glimpse at the glory of God. What do you think, Kevin? I'm going to go with C.

Correct. Kavanaugh did not grow up in a town filled with gang violence, but in fact, a rich suburb of Bethesda, Maryland. And during his entire time in high school, it was not legal for him to drink. You know that Thursday where Kavanaugh had beers with Judge, PJ, and Squee? That was July 1st, 1982, the same day Maryland raised his drinking age to 21. Kavanaugh was 17 at the time. You got it right, and therefore it's time for

Devil Dare number two. Devil Dare number two. Do a shot of cognac for every member of your family that is married to Kennedy. If it's less than three, leave the party because you probably don't even own a boat. Well, I guess that's my time. Question number three for Kevin.

To complete the Devil's Triangle, please tell us which of the following is not a real line told by Brett Kavanaugh. Is it A? Dr. Ford has said that this event occurred at a house near Columbia Country Club. In her letter to Senator Feinstein, she said there were four other people at the house,

but none of these people, nor I, live near Columbia Country Club. Is it B? That yearbook reference to Renata alumni was clumsily intended to show affection and that she was one of us. But in this circus

the media has interpreted the term as related to sex. It was not related to sex. Or is it C? I liked grapefruit. I still like grapefruit. If it's a crime to like grapefruit, lock me up! But I did not participate in a sex act with a grapefruit

in an Albertsons restroom. I'm only banned from Albertsons because of a Clinton conspiracy. What do you think, Kevin? They were all pretty convincing lies, but I think C is the fake one. You got it! Kavanaugh claimed he didn't live anywhere near the country club when in fact he lived closer than Dr. Blasey Ford. And his comment about yearbook entry being a compliment is obviously bullshit. Because another classmate included the following poem. You need a date and it's getting late, so don't hesitate to call Renate.

And if they said it to compliment her, it's weird that she never heard about it until the New York Times brought it to her attention. But since you answered correctly, it's time for the final. Tier number three. To complete the devil's Triangle, you must purge yourself over and over and over again in front of the United States Senate and do so in such a manner that you seem unseen, unhinged, I meant,

and frankly, sort of frightening, and definitely a man who shouldn't coach youth sports. And when you're done, history will look back on your life and you will be remembered for that singular day, no matter how long you sit on the Supreme Court, no matter how accomplished you tell yourself you are, you will always be haunted by that day and that legacy will never be clean and you are a small, unserious man who will never be fully respected until the day Earth ceases to exist.

Or you could do a shot of cognac. What do you want to do, Kevin? I think I'll go with the cognac. All right, Kevin, you have won the game. You will receive a parachute gift card. Yes. And a Vote Save America box. Yeah. That's cool.

Kevin, you picked a great day to play because you get both the parachute gift card and the Vote Save America box. Vote Save America by day, parachute by night, you know? Guys, also, give it up for Travis Helwig, who played... Guys, also, give it up for Travis Hellwig, who played a disembodied voice of the game world.

All right, when we come back, we're going to play a game around canvassing. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It, coming up. And we're back! Yeah. Knock, knock. Interrupting Jew.

Hey, did you know that there's only 32... Oh, man. Did you know there's only 32 days until the election, and the single best way you can help us take back the House is by door-to-door canvassing? Did you know that? If you're a friend of Crooked Media you know that we have been promoting door-to-door canvassing for weeks now but I know a lot of you might think it's still scary so we wanted to demystify the process in a segment we're calling Don't Hiss Canvas. So we thought we'd bring on an expert to help. He directs the Leadership Lab, a project of the Los Angeles LGBT Center that has won national

recognition for going door to door to change voters' minds. Please welcome David Fleischer. How are you? Doing great. How are you? I'm good. Thanks for being here. Five weekends are all we've got. Yeah. I don't mean to sound scary,

but if people really are concerned, this is the moment to volunteer, go out canvassing, do it this weekend so you get good at it by the second time you do it so that then you're able to really make a difference

because unless we all do this we're not gonna get what we want for the next 50 years oh that's a long time right all right but true all right mikhail and i are going to pretend to be canvassing and when we do something wrong dave is going to say okay stop and give us some tips about how we can do this better. You ready, Dave? Okay, go. All right. I'll be playing the role of voter.

And I'll be playing the role of canvasser. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't mean to interrupt you, but I just want to let you know really fast that I'm worth so-and-so and Bob and Jen. And they're just – I'm so sorry. Okay, stop. Can I just say one thing? Michaela, your energy is beautiful. Thank you. I know people are very busy, so I have to get it out real fast.

And yet the key to having their attention is to go slow. Okay. Sort of like this. A little slower than you really would in real life because they were not expecting your arrival.

Oh, copy that. Copy that. They probably live in a district where a progressive has not come by in a long, long time. Jesus.

Where is this place? Okay. Hello. Hi. Hi, I'm very busy. Oh. I don't mean to take up much of your time. Oh, you have a dog.

I do. This is Pundit. Wow. I have a dog, too. What's your dog's name? Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Michaela, you're a naturally warm person. I can see dog, too. What's your dog's name? Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Michaela, you're a naturally warm person.

I can see this. Yeah. And it can play as a strength. Okay. But you need to direct it to your goal. Oh, okay. Do you have one? Yes.

Yes. Cool. Okay. So because you have a goal, you could state it and then ask how they feel about the goal. That's gonna work a lot better than asking his permission when he doesn't even know really what you're there for. Oh, okay. Cool.

Hi. This better be good. I've got a stew on. I'd love to talk about stew, but I got goals. All right. So I have a friend who was diagnosed with cancer, and it was really expensive. And so there was a whole thing. I mean, she had to, like, basically,

it was a goal for me. She didn't even meet her goal. So then it was, like, really scary, okay? I'm having trouble following you. You're speaking so quickly. Okay, basically, do you like health care? Do you like things that are, when you, like, if you burned your face on your stew?

I like two things in this world. Mm what are they quality affordable healthcare uh-huh and a good thick stew i'm so glad for your stomach i'm so glad that sentence ended with stew cool um can i use your bathroom okay First, kudos for acknowledging basic bodily functions. What is your goal, Michaela? Well, to get out the issues and see what they care about. Michaela, there's this word. It begins with a V. I think you need his vote.

Vagina. Oh, my. Vote. Vagina. Today, you need his vote. His vote.. Oh, my vote. Vagina. Today, you need his vote. His vote. Yes. Yeah. And so, maybe at the very top, even before

you talk about the very human story that actually might move this voter. Okay. Maybe he needs to know you're here because there's an election. His vote will matter. Jesus Christ. I think Hillary would have won if I understood this okay now she wouldn't

know okay you know up till now Michaela we did not we did not know who to blame so thank you for volunteering I'm patient zero on that one. Okay. Hi. Hi. Good sir. Yes? I'm sorry to interrupt you from your amazing stew. Do you vote? Yeah, mostly contests about stew recipes. I'm in a stew club.

You are? I vote for the president of that club. Oh, okay. Actually, his name is Stew. Are there any issues that are plaguing you, or do you just find making stew? I get a lot of minor burns on my hands. Oh, I see you're incredibly compromised.

Is it because you haven't seen a doctor? Is it because it's too expensive to see a doctor? That's part of it. Plus, I can't pull myself away from the stove. You have encountered what we call a low-information voter. Okay, okay. And your brilliant stroke in this conversation is that you have uncovered that truth.

You asked about voting. He does not know what you mean by that word in a context larger than the gustatory. Okay. So you are going to need to give him some information. God, I'm so nervous. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, we always are. And so what is the single most important thing you wish this person knew so they were a slightly greater information voter? What are the stakes that you're here for? Okay. We're all going to die. What? And I don't say that lightly.

For example... What do you need me to do? I need you to save the world. How can I do that? Your vote alone can save the world. Okay. Who do I vote for? Just vote for the guy. I don't know. Do you like clean air?

Love it. Do you like water? It's a big part of how you make a stew. Do you hate murder? Yeah. Okay, stop. Michaela? I was keeping it real simple.

And I love that. Okay. And your rush to hyperbole was good. The word die in the first minute is a little much. Okay. Noted. But how about a word like Trump? A shocking number of people are familiar with that word and actually have feelings about it.

So you could always start saying, you know, there's this big election coming up and you're going to get to vote. And if Donald Trump was here right now and you had two minutes with him, what would you want to tell him? Oh, that's so good. It's right off the script. Jesus. All right. Put it to me. Okay. Hey, good, sir. Yes. That stew is phenomenal. You're smelling the fennel Okay Listen, I got a question for you I know it's weird that I'm a stranger In a onesie, showing up at your door But you're so reassuring because of the slow space In which you speak to me

Oh, thank you Quick question, and then I'm going to let you get back to that fennel Well, the thing about stew is It cooks itself, you know? You can leave it. You seem nice. You're funny. But serious question.

If Donald Trump was here right now and you could say anything to him, what would you tell him? I think I would say you'll never have the respect you want because you'll never do what it takes to earn that respect. And for as long as you live, for the rest of your life, you'll never be whole because inside of you, that place where you feel like you need something, something to make the day go by in a way that doesn't make you feel angry, like the world is against you, like nobody likes you, like nothing matters, it's actually not something you can fix. Because you're broken.

And that fundamental brokenness... Okay, stop. Okay, stop. So, Michaela. Yeah, I shouldn't sing Carly Simon while he's talking. No, no, no. Carly Simon is always appropriate. No, the, no, Carly Simon is always appropriate.

No, the thing that you have done, you just revealed one of the most important truths about canvassing to the entire audience, which is that inside every low-information voter is somebody with some awareness of reality. Oh. Oh, my God, And all we have to do is ask them to think about reality

and they actually have something to share bigger than a stew. Wow. In a way, what you're doing is stirring the stew of our democracy.

Guys, give it up for Dave. The Leadership Lab team is currently canvassing in Orange County seeking out voters who often don't vote. Check them out if you want to help.

Thank you so much for being here. That was great. Thank you, Michaela, for doing that. That was awesome. Very fun. I learned a lot.

We come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way. And we're back! Yeah. Now it's time for the rant wheel.

Here's how it works. We spin a wheel. Wherever it lands, we rant about the topic at hand. This week on the wheel, we have paper straws. The new Predator movie. Dianne Feinstein criminal mastermind. Brett Kavanaugh saying that people are seeking revenge on behalf of the Clintons Alex Trebek booed while moderating a debate

Impossible burgers, secession, and consent isn't a contract Let's spin the wheel It has landed on paper straws. Ugh. They're terrible. They're wonderful. No, let's all be honest. Can we be honest?

I am fine getting rid of plastic straws. I am. It's the right thing to do. I'm in. But I'm not going to be told that we're not replacing it with something far fucking worse. All right? Those paper straws are disgusting. It's like drinking through a tissue.

And this seems like a solvable problem. Michaela is giving me... I love them. I remember Pixie. I like them too. Those Pixie candy, the candy, and you like... Nobody? I'm too old?

Okay. You don't remember that? No, I'm with you. I'm right here with you. Pixie six. You like the paper straws? Yeah. Because I like a straw, but I can't have the other straw. So I'm going to deal with it.

Us not liking paper straws is, like, so American. Like, we want a straw that's a preferred textile. I need my soda. Listen, listen. First of all, I do need my soda. Second, you're right, and this is petty as hell. I know. I get it.

I just want us to be honest about it. But what don't you like about it? The mouthfeel. That's what I want. Let's be honest about it. Because you can't chew it. It tastes good. Does it really feel like it changes the taste?

It's worse. I don't drink. It's worse? It's worse. And that's okay. It doesn't taste as good. Does it really feel, you feel like it changes the taste? It's worse. I don't drink, it's worse. It's worse. And that's okay. It's okay that it's worse. But it's fucking worse. You're acknowledging facts

and that's fine. Somebody make a non-plastic disposable straw that doesn't feel disgusting. Scientists. Elon Musk, stop tweeting.

Get on the straw thing. God damn it. All you have to do to not be hated is stop tweeting. Let's spin it again. It has landed on consent isn't a contract which was suggested by Amanda. I don't know when folks got the idea that just because you said yes, it has to stay yes. If you say some dumb shit in the middle of what we're doing, I have the right to say, I don't want to do this anymore.

And... If you do some dumb shit in the middle of what we're doing, I have the right to say, I don't want to do this anymore. We can be seven strokes in. That's a lot. I've had sex

before. That's a lot of strokes. And on stroke eight, my vagina can be like, no. And I can listen to her and be like, you're right, boo. And shut it down. In which case, the person And I can listen to her and be like, you're right, boo.

And shut it down. In which case, the person that I am engaging with has to acquiesce to my wishes, and then we are good. But in the wake of this Cosby fuckery, it was incredible to see how many men and women simply just didn't understand, like, what rape is and what consent is. we're literally arguing like if you went to the hotel room it is what it is and I'm like it's not a contract there's nothing binding here at any point either of us can be like nah

and the other person needs to be respectful of that end. Rape begins when we go beyond the limitations of consent. That's it. And it was wild to me to see how many people I had to explain the basic concept of, once you are forcing me into sex, it is now rape. And it was wild to me how many people took me saying that as, oh, well, then you are an unstable woman who doesn't know who you want to have sex with. And then it was even more not wild to me how many men have no idea how pussies work. And that, like, you know, condoms are not, like, made for us. And, like, friction is also not, like, the best. And, you know, like, there's just all these other things that come into

sex and being a human and you can change your mind at any time and the other person has to respect that and it was just very disconcerting and sad to me to see how many people and how many women in particular have clearly been misled into thinking that if you say no at any point, that makes you a tease. And that is false. It just makes you somebody with a point of view and possibly a dry vagina. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Secession.

I know. Which was suggested by Michaela. It was suggested, but I want to rescind. Because if I'm going to rant, I don't want to rant about Secession. Because it's fine acting. It's just I don't understand. I'm watching this show, and I'm deeply embedded in it, and I hate all the characters.

Not even like in a Sopranos way. Now there's stakes and I'm like I hope he gets the company and I'm like I don't want him to get the company I don't want anybody to get the company I want them all to like get stuck in an elevator for four years but the acting is terrific and and it has wonderful moments you should watch it anyway what I want to rant about can I rant I want to rant I want to rant because you got me so fired up it's like in a great way which is I was thinking back to this woman that said to rant because you got me so fired up. It's like in a great way, which is, I was thinking back to this woman that said to me, you know, I was assaulted. So I know a liar

when I see one, you know, and there was a lot of these people going, she lied, she lied, she lied. And then Trump fucking making fun of her, fucking making fun of her, you know, saying, oh, I didn't know where I was. Let me tell you something. I want to tell you something. See this thing right here, this blue thing. A week ago, I was let me tell you something I want to tell you something see this thing right here this blue thing a week ago I was taking care of a dog the dog got attacked by a coyote it was the worst night in my entire life the dog survived thank God he's doing great I then got an infection that then sent me to the hospital for three days I have a line that goes into my arm where I put antibiotics for the next three weeks. Yeah, because that's

what happens. That was a shitty night. I don't know what I was fucking wearing, and that was a week ago, okay? That was a week ago, and it was the worst night of my life. And the fact that this asshole stands on a stage with a bunch of cheering men, and yes, some women standing there cheering as they just lasso, their little golden lasso to the patriarchy and just go, take me, power, take me with you, because I'm still in the cult that women don't matter. I'm still in the cult that I don't matter, these women. And it just breaks my heart, and I just want to say also,

I'm afraid of flying. I don't do it unless I absolutely goddamn have to, which is for my livelihood or because I'm going to a place like Hawaii where I'll be fanned with a palm frond and given a mint drink that has big pineapples sticking out of it. And for the record, I haven't even been to Hawaii because it's over an ocean and until I have a good reason,

I'm not going, okay. So that's the facts. I was deeply embedded in everything you were saying, but I just, I, I, I just need to know you were bit by a coyote. No, uh, the dog was bit by a coyote. The dog was very scared. I picked up the dog to take the dog to the hospital. The dog bit the shit out of me. We were all very panicked. And this is a different night than the motorcycle accident? This is all in one week.

Now, if the coyote tried to rape me, I would remember what I was wearing. Fair enough. To quote the great philosopher John Lovett, what a week. All right, well... I want to say I'm going to be in Houston, Dallas... All right, Neil.

Let's end on a high note. I'm one pound away from my goal weight. Now, shut up. I knew you'd buy... It is so disgusting that you cheered for that. How dare I? from my goal weight. Now, shut up. I knew you'd buy. It is so disgusting that you cheered for that. How dare I? How dare I fish for that compliment?

But it's relevant. Because it's not relevant. The point is, we are so close to this fucking election. It is right around the corner. None of you people use your weekends effectively. You waste them again and again and again. You've watched all of Maniac, even though you

said you were going to space it out because you liked it. You're on season three of five of The Baking Show. You're wasting your weekends. Every single person in this room can go to votesaveamerica.com. You can register. You can make sure you're registered. You can look up your ballot in a couple days. But what you can

do right now is you can go on that website and you can find an event near you or a phone banking thing that you can do from your home. I used it myself like a person. I'm supposed to do a game day where we play board games, maybe do an escape room. And I texted the game night guys and I said, hey, what if we play a cooperative game called Winning the House? And they were like, well, I can only do it at noon and I have to be back by three because they're a bunch of

fucking dicks. And then I was like, wait, I'll go to votesaveamerica.com and I went in and I typed in my zip code, and a bunch of events came out, and I clicked on one of the canvassing, and I found a time slot that worked for all of us,

and I signed up, and I'll be out there canvassing like a person who cares, like a person who gives a shit. As long as I get some social media attention for it, because there's still blood in these veins. Just a human boy. The point is I have not had a carb

in like four weeks because I knew that I had until one month before the election to be ready for this HBO show. And if I cannot have carbs for a month, even though I'm lying and I had a hamburger yesterday. Because it was a cheat meal, which is also a lie,

because I look good in the dress rehearsal, so I got a Domino's pizza. Shut up! Everybody shut up! The point is, you can all do your part. You have to. You have to. It can't be that we paid attention this much for the last year and a half for you not to do the littlest thing, which is picking out your phone and phone banking or going to a canvas. You can do it. I know so many people in this room still do not have a plan to do it.

I know so many people listening to this show still don't have a plan to do it. Not enough of you are doing it. Not enough of you are going to do it unless all of you do it. If you are hearing this right now and you're not sure if you're going to do it, it means you know in your heart you're not planning to do it and change your fucking mind. I know what it's like to think you're going to do something and not do it. It's the secret of my success. You have to do it. We have to get out there. We are so close. There is a district near you where you really can make a difference. We are going to wake up after this election and there's going to be seats we won by a couple dozen votes or a couple

hundred votes and there's going to be seats that we lost by a dozen votes or a hundred votes. And we don't know where those districts are. Nobody does. You can't trust the polls. We'll never know. And you can be a part of winning some of those districts and it really will make a difference because if we wake up having almost won the House, it will be one of the

worst fucking days that we will have ever had. Maybe worse than when Trump won because this isn't just a surprise. This is us giving up. So we have to do it. So do your part. Go to votesaveamerica.com, please. That's our show.

I want to thank this incredible panel. Michaela Watkins, Neil Brennan, Amanda Seals. I want to thank Dave Fleischer. We have great shows with Aaron Ryan and Guy Brandon coming up, and I want to make sure you guys listen and come here to the Interop to watch those shows. And watch us on the Posse America live show next week. That's it.

Have a great night. Bye.