Lovett or Leave It - CPAC to Reality

Episode Date: March 9, 2019

Trump literally hugs a flag, figuratively hugs Kim Jong Un, and speaks for two hours at a conservative conference for people who think Fox News isn't mean enough. Live from Madison, Lt. Governor Mandela Barnes, Ana Marie Cox, and Akilah Hughes join Jon to talk about Scott Walker's legacy, the NFL's fantastic team owners, Trump's love letters to dictators, and the problems with punctuation marks in text messages. Anyway, too many cheese curds. Or maybe not enough.

Hello, Madison! Look at you beautiful badgers. Badgers, they're small, they're ferocious, they don't take any shit from anybody. I've been in Wisconsin for less than 24 hours. Lucky you! I have... See, that kind of...

Someone shouted, lucky you. And see, that kind of self-deprecation is what you're famous for. Lucky you. I for. Lucky you. I have eaten brats. I had cheese curds in 100% of my meals. I feel great. I have discovered something. What I have discovered is that

beneath this gay, Jewish, coastal elite exterior is the digestive tract of a Midwestern Obama-Trump voter. Oh, you're applauding that. Because, um, speaking of obama trump voters apology not accepted face what you did you have given us paul ryan you have given us Donald Trump two of your main exports are dairy and assholes let's talk about Scott Walker so he enacts Act 10 attacking the state's unions and undermining the rights of working people he cuts education by billions.

He fights to privatize the public schools and universities. He forces cuts to teacher salaries. And this is something I find Boo is right. We hate that here. He tried to change the mission of the University of Wisconsin from improving the human condition and searching for truth to meeting the state's workforce needs. I just...

Vote for me, you interchangeable cogs. Vote for me, you miasma of productivity I can sap. Meet the state's workforce needs. How grand. How nice that would be for all of you to meet the state's workforce needs. Why did you come to the University of Wisconsin? Well, I thought a lot about it, and I was very interested in meeting the state's workforce needs.

What are you majoring in? Killing the part of myself that feels. Also, under your former governor, Wisconsin joined the lawsuit against the ACA, rejected Medicaid money, because he cared more about making a case running for president than he did about this state. And that sucks because he was so bad at running for president that people said he should

drop out to make room for fucking Jeb. People looked at Jeb Bush and Scott Walker and they said, we need the one with charisma. Why are you applauding? He represented all of you. Sorry, thank you. Only one of you said sorry. So not only is he stripping the government for parts and undermining workers, not only is he trying to privatize institutions, he's trying to undermine the democracy itself. Walker also passes a draconian voter ID law.

They redraw the district lines to make the elections less competitive. They undermine election oversight. And after losing, despite what the voters in this state wanted, they pass a bill to enshrine their politics and their policies forever, despite what the voters in Wisconsin had to say. And I know that that lawsuit's continuing, and it's very exciting because it's such fucking bullshit. That is the experiment that Scott Walker ran in this state, and it's the experiment Donald Trump is running right now, to strip the government for parts, to crush working people, to suppress votes and campaign on division and fear to win.

And they killed your train! Scott Walker killed a train that would have fucked. Why did conservatives turn on trains? Ayn Rand loved trains. That book was about trains. When did sharing a compartment with other people become liberal? They want to be alone in their cars. That's conservative now.

Riding on a bus. What are you, some kind of a liberal? That's conservative now. Riding on a bus. What are you, some kind of a liberal? So that is the conservative experiment that you guys rebuked here in Wisconsin, but the fight continues. There is a big fight in Wisconsin,

a judicial race here in April. How many of you guys have been following this? We need to get Lisa Neubauer elected to the Wisconsin Supreme Court. Losing this seat would guarantee a conservative majority on the state Supreme Court when redistricting is done in 2021. That will jeopardize the congressional map. That'll jeopardize the state legislative map. So everybody here needs to do their part to elect Lisa Neubauer. You can donate, you can make calls, you can write letters from anywhere in the country, and you can knock on doors

if you live in Wisconsin or nearby. Go to swingleft.com slash Wisconsin to learn more and get involved. The next two years, Wisconsin is going to play such a big role, not only in what happens here, but what happens in national politics. Listen, alright? Let's just be honest. We're caught a bit flat-foot only in what happens here, but what happens in national politics. Listen, all right? Let's just be honest.

We're caught a bit flat-footed by what happened here in 2016. I feel like everyone here was pretty surprised when they woke up. Let's admit it. Would have knocked on a couple more fucking doors. We'll get there. Don't worry about it. If you think

I'm going to come to Wisconsin and not make a bunch of jokes that Hillary Clinton forgot that this was a state, you are incorrect. Listen, all right? Can't make the same mistakes in 2020 that we made in 2016. You guys have won a battle here

by electing a new governor, a new lieutenant governor. You can help win that seat on the Supreme Court, and you can do your part to organize in the next two years, because listen. All right? We wake up on that Wednesday, November 2020,

and Wisconsin shits the bed again. Buckle up. You'll never see me again. And Tommy and John may want to come, but I won't let us. That'll be tough for me, because you can't get cheese curds outside of Wisconsin. Which, by the way, doesn't make any sense. They're delicious. You're killing yourselves by only selling them here. So are you guys going to do your part to win that supreme court seat all right let's start the show we have got a fantastic show for you

tonight i'm very excited about our panel about the games we're going to play and we've got a lot of very fun news to discuss her work has appeared in the washington post Esquire, and Rolling Stone. She's the host of Crooked Media's With Friends Like These. Please welcome back to the show, Anna-Marie Cox. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I mean, actually, I know exactly how you are. I heard the whole monologue. So she knows I'm great. how you are. I heard the whole monologue.

So she knows I'm great. I know about your digestive tack. I know too much. Fair enough. He is the current Lieutenant Governor of the great state of Wisconsin. Please welcome Mandela Barnes.

That is... That is... deafening. For those listening at home, there was a... I would call it a B-plus pander by toasting the crowd with a Pabst blue ribbon. How are you, sir?

I'm great. You know, the last time I was here was when we won. Out of control already. And finally, she is a writer, comedian, YouTuber, and she's a Crooked contributor. Please welcome back Akilah Hughes. Hi, Akilah. Hi, John.

How are you? I'm so good. It is cold here, though. I don't have, like, cute socks. Like, my whole outfit's black and white, but my socks are very loud. So I'm going to be tucking in my pants the whole time. Great. You asked, I answered.

What's good? All right. Let's get into it. What a week. Tonight, you know, we're at the very start of these Democratic primaries, and obviously it's on a lot of people's minds, so I wanted to step back and talk about how we're feeling at the very start of this contest. So on the one hand, Donald Trump is an historically unpopular president

whose main legislative accomplishment is a tax cut for corporations and billionaires that's pretty well despised. He was just handed a massive electoral defeat in the midterms. His former campaign manager, lawyer, national security advisors, among several others, are going to jail. He's under multiple federal, state, and congressional investigations. He's already been implicated in several felonies, and, tragic most of all, he did lose Ann Coulter.

On the other hand, since 1900, only five presidents have lost their re-election fight. Every other who's been willing and able won their re-election. Trump will be backed by the Murdoch's massive propaganda apparatus, and untold hundreds of millions of ads financed by wealthy backers. He knows how to tear

our nominee down, and he knows the media will go along with it. And he knows his path to re-election runs through division and fear and dragging his opponents with him to the bottom of the polls. But I think there's also a deeper worry that goes beyond data, a sense among Democrats that we just don't trust ourselves to get this right, that Trump winning is a crisis, but also a crisis of confidence. So how do we navigate the most important primary in our lives when we don't trust ourselves to

read the map and when Democrats will face not two or three or four, but 10 or more possible directions? Mr. Lieutenant Governor. Yes. I want to start with you. I've made jokes in the past about Hillary not campaigning here, and it's a little trite. What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and the Miami Dolphins? Hillary can lose without ever coming to Green Bay. There's a question coming. So you just won an historic victory. You are the second African American to be elected statewide.

won an historic victory. You are the second African-American to be elected statewide. We won the governorship and we won it despite efforts at vote suppression, despite years of Republicans being able to dominate in this state. What did you learn in achieving this victory and what did it tell you about how we should be thinking about this primary? Yeah, so and let me start at the primary by saying I am now oddly a fan of larger primaries because it allows for more. Seriously, there were upwards of 15 people in the Democratic primary for governor here. There were 10 people on the ballot, but that allowed more people to get across the state at one time, spreading the message and showing former Governor Walker's vulnerabilities. And so the same can be said when there's so much energy, so many people who are stepping up to run for president.

It says something about how weak and unpopular the president is right now. And like I've always said, we've struggled with younger voters. We've struggled with voters in communities of color. And like they always say, well, how do we get young people to vote? How do we get communities of color to vote? You should probably just go talk to them. you should probably just go talk to him. And so having a larger primary allows it to happen.

And again, it's all about just communication, just being able to hone your message, being able to sharpen your message, especially in a debate with so many people where you have to work that much harder to stand out. It will make for a stronger candidate in the general. You know, I think sincerely like a lot of people listening, one of the hardest things to understand about 2016 is actually, and I mean it, it's like what happened in Wisconsin, because it wasn't an obvious mistake in the sense that a lot of people took Wisconsin for granted.

Historically, that's a problem. Yeah. The Midwest for granted. What have you learned? We went from an election in which Wisconsin played this pivotal role in electing Donald Trump to an election in which Wisconsin came out to the polls and rebuked the kind of politics that Donald Trump offers. Like what changed here? What did you take from this election that makes you feel good about the next campaign? So it's a couple of things. One, I'll say is that we organized. We got out there where we needed to be. But second of all, the way we, it was, yes, it was a rebuke of Donald Trump, but it was also, you know, having been through eight long years of Scott Walker. And our campaign was not just against Scott Walker. And so in 2020, the campaign just can't be against Donald Trump because he will win again if we only run

against Donald Trump. We have to promote our positive vision. We have to talk about our plan to make America a better place, to make every state across the nation, whether it's access to health care, whether it's making sure that we're doing the best we can to protect the environment, to make sure that we're investing in renewable energy as we should, to make good paying jobs a priority. You know, we have to talk about should, to make good paying jobs a priority. You know, we have to talk about our plan to make that happen. And I think that that is the playbook that we used here in Wisconsin in 2018. A couple other states in the Midwest, too, like Michigan as well. And that is what we have to do to defeat Donald Trump, to talk about our values, lead with

those values, and be bold. Don't be afraid. We can't run soft campaigns where we're afraid to talk about the real issues, where we're afraid to talk about mass incarceration, or we're afraid to talk about immigration reform. We have to talk about it. We have to put it front and center. So let's talk about that. So Ana, we do have a dozen candidates in the race already. Biden and Beto are expected to jump in. We have some candidates like Warren and Bernie running on the left. Ones like Amy Klobuchar running on the comb as a fork. It's a platform.

Kind of trying to put that idea out there. Running on the left-hand part. Yeah, left-hand part, if you will, sure. We have Inslee's for climate change. Klobuchar is for you better bring me that fucking briefing book. Ana, what's on your mind right now as you're looking at this expansive field? I'm taken with this way of thinking about the

large pool of candidates as a benefit and not an obstacle. And I think that's true. I mean, also, if you look at the resume of the candidates that we have running versus the resumes of the candidates that ran in the Republican primary. I mean, remember Carly Fiorina? Like, thought she could be president, which it turns out, actually, I mean, who knows? You know, I'm going to vote for whoever wins the nomination, and I feel good about that. I mean, that's actually a relief to me.

And if we can kind of carry that spirit, I don't, I mean, I've talked to a ton of people who feel like, oh, it's going to be so bruising, oh, it's going to be so bad, it's going to be so bitter. I think you went through a bitter and bruising primary, and it turned out okay, actually. Well, one did, one didn't. We're batting 500, which is good for baseball, as is my understanding.

But also, actually, bitter and bruising primary being two people actually I think is probably worse than a bitter and bruising primary. Again, I don't think it has to be bitter and bruising. I'm actually going to ban those words now. I'm actually going to ban those words now. Like, I think that what we have is a slate of candidates who are also finally, you know, debating real progressive ideals. You know, we're not having a mushy middle.

We're talking about climate change. We're talking about women's rights and women's reproductive rights. We're talking about sexual assault. We're talking about, you know, UBI. Like, these are things that I am old enough to remember thinking that I was a fucking dreamer

for thinking we could get nationalized health care at some point. I've always told people that I feel like my politics was, like, rooting for the Cubs. I'm not pandering, I swear. Because I never thought they could win. I never thought they could win. I never thought the stuff that I believed in was going to get to be the top-level discussion. I thought that I was just going to be out here being like,

go Democrats, but also Cubs. And now these real progressive ideas have an audience, and we have people like, I was telling my dad today, I don't like capitalism. And I feel like I can say that now. Thanks. I'm a dana. I don't like capitalism. Different Series Cubs should not win.

Oh, okay. What's the team? Oh, the Brewers. The Brewers, like beer. Like beer. The Milwaukee Brewers. That's cool. Hi, like beer. The Milwaukee Brewers. That's cool. Hi, Akilah. Yo.

Have you ever eaten a salad with a comb? No, but that's because I'm not as resourceful. Unfortunately, if I don't have silverware, I will use my hands like a fucking animal. And I don't feel bad about it. God gave me thumbs. I'm putting them to use. One lettuce chunk at a time.

Like, just chips. It's fun. Yeah, just two little chips, fingers, and then just wet dressing hand. I never said I was a role model. Okay? Just get that out of the way.

No, I'm not. One development is Jay Inslee got in the race, and he is saying that his campaign is focused on climate change, that that is his issue, that's what he's campaigning on. What do you think of that? I mean, I think it's important, and I think that, you know, sort of to Ana's point where it's like you, the sort of dream shot that you had growing up being mainstream sort of conversation.

I really never thought that as a country we'd be like, OK, so the world could end because we're bad at it. So like, yeah, I mean, is this guy necessarily like a front runner? It's a year out. We never know. But I do think that it's really exciting that candidates do care about climate change. You know, in New York, we have AOC dunking on everybody on Twitter about how, yeah, I'll take her applause.

And but like she's tweeting about the Green New deal and how like it's not a far shot and you know the generation who's voting who's going to be one of the largest voting blocs if not the largest in the next election uh is going to be alive to see the world and if we don't get some shit right and i think it's great that people are actually having the honest conversation where it's like you know what scientists probably know more than we do maybe we should listen to them i love it all right when we come back we'll play okay stop hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up. And we're back! Now it's time

for OK Stop. We'll roll the clip. The panel can say OK Stop at any point to comment. CPAC. That special time of year where Candace Owens, Sebastian Gorka, and a bunch of people with 20,000 Twitter followers who are one drink away

from saying maybe Jews are lizards, get together. Maybe. They'll say maybe. They get together and they sing, we are the world, but about AOC banning cows. Anyway, President Donald Trump, who somehow is the real president, showed up on Saturday to get in on the fun. Let's roll the clip. Robert Mueller

never received a vote, and neither did the person that appointed him. And as you know, the attorney general says, I'm going to recuse myself. Okay, stop. He's doing characters now. He did a Jeff Sessions, and what's great is there were stories that reported that behind the scenes he did that country lawyer impression, and a lot of people were like, oh, this is another

ridiculous story in the fake news New York Times. And there he is at CPAC. And you know what? All I want to do now is do it too. I guess gays are people. That's it. That's what I have. It's terrible. And I said, why the hell didn't he tell me

that before I put him in? How do you recuse yourself? The guy named David Weigel? Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Okay, stop. I've been known David Weigel for like 10 years.

Of all the people I thought Trump would make famous, like the nerdy dude from the Washington Post who like obsesses about the returns from. What? Walker. Wait. Please. Oh, I don't give a shit.

No, you have to give it. Walker Shaw County. Walker Shaw. Use the adjective, the proper adjective. Crucial Walker Shaw County. Is that it? That's what he should be famous for, by the way. How many months ago was that years

ago okay oh this is from like i think like 2011 2011 no it's from it's from early on it's from the campaign maybe he's referring to a story in which dave weigel said that there wasn't a lot of people in the event it was a tweet he took a picture of an auditorium that had like it was like middle of the day and he was like not a whole big crowd and then the president of the fucking united it was during the president because it was the president of the fucking united states asked the washington post to fire him that's right and it's now maybe two years later and he's still on it and there's something about there was something about seeing him say Dave Weigel out loud. I don't know why, but I felt such a kinship with Dave Weigel in that moment.

It felt like he was saying a sibling's name. It's so oddly personal just to mention Dave Weigel. A guy that we all know. Yeah. It's just Dave. We almost went to a Beatles concert and a Ringo concert in Vegas last year. What? I'm sorry.

All news to me. The kinship. It's a real thing. Didn't get that email. Listen, he said almost. It was almost. I guess you're better friends with him than me. It was almost. I mean, he likes prog rock. He has a mustache. He gets confused for El Chapo from the DPRK parody Twitter account. The president of the

United States has been carrying a little grudge for a Washington Post reporter for an errant tweet from early 2017. Donald Trump spoke at CPAC for two hours. Yes, he spoke for two hours. And what was great about it is he would read a sentence from his teleprompter and then just leave the fucking planet for half an hour and then come back. It was like, and these liberals and their

socialist Green New Deal, Dave Weigel, Mueller, Sessions impression, a bit about pancakes, back to Sessions, back to Mueller. Michael Cohen never knew him. Green New Deal. Some arena. No, listen to this. He wrote an article. He got there four hours early. He took pictures of an empty arena.

He then put out a note, something to the effect, not very good crowd size, Mr. President. Okay, stop. This is all so specific, and he's acting like it's not affecting him. He's like, I don't know if you heard of this guy, Dave Weigel. He wrote this thing, I don't know what it said. It said this. It said, he was there super early, too. It was specifically four hours early. If you look at the timest stamp on the tweet that I remember word for word, he's a fucking loser. Like what is going on?

This is a man who has thought about this every day of his life since it happened. And I don't know the last thing I tweeted. Don't look it up. And I never saw it because I don't follow the guy. Okay. Stop. of the guy. Oh, okay.

Stop. I don't even know how it came up. Five hours early because he doesn't fly private, you know. And maybe it's because of the carbon footprint. Do you think maybe

that's... Maybe. It must be the carbon footprint. You think maybe that's... Maybe. It must be the carbon footprint. The management of the forest is very bad, and that's one of the problems they have. I said, you got to get those forests. We can't keep sending billions and billions and losing hundreds of lives, more importantly. Got to clean it up.

It's called management. When a tree falls... Okay, stop. Just be clear. He wants to blame California for catching fire. Like, he can't... His forest management stuff is fucking bullshit.

He's like, we're wasting all this money because California can't stop catching fire. If all your park service had a Swiffer, we wouldn't be in this mess. It's unbelievable. Let the environmentalist say you can't take that tree out.

It becomes like a matchstick, that tree. It hits a flame, it goes up. The leaves, every once in a while, you have to remove the leaves. Okay, stop. He thinks that you need to tend the forest like it's fucking Augusta National. He's like, what?

You get a couple dozen illegals. You give them rakes. They take care of it. Anybody asks any questions, you fire them. Have you people not run a forest before? Also, he demonstrates a real lack of understanding about matches because even if this one single tree is the Tinder, other shit is gonna be in the forest.

So like, if it wasn't that tree but the fire happened, I just think that we have to sit him down and explain fire. And I'm not gonna take the time. Having in Washington, D.C., a great tribute to America. I hope you can all come. Fourth of July. Keep that. Okay, yeah, okay.

This is my revolutionary idea. Everybody hold on. On what many are calling America's birthday, we're going to do a tribute to America. Fireworks, come on down. It's a crazy idea. No one has ever done anything on the 4th of July for America. I'm thinking of it right now on the stage. It's a

random day. Just come. He's like Bradley Cooper thinking he came up with A Star is Born. We come back, a segment about Donald Trump's relationship with Kim Jong-un. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way.

And we're back! We have a very exciting news-making segment. As we all know, the most recent summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, like the last summit, fell apart because this is among the most difficult diplomatic challenges on planet Earth, even with a competent White House. And the person we sent was Donald Trump. But here's the thing. Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un are from two different worlds. One used his father's name and power to leapfrog to prominence, creating a mythology of his abilities and prowess never actually

demonstrated in the real world. And he's managed to retain this position despite failing to actually improve the lives of the people he's supposed to lead with the help of a massive propaganda apparatus, fanatical supporters, and the fear amongst his political allies of drawing his ill attention. That was Kim Jong-un, incorrect. So, what happened in Vietnam? Well, thanks to very well-placed friends of the pod in the deep state, we were able to receive the actual correspondence written back and forth between Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un that took place between last year's summit and this one.

These are completely real letters, and we will read them to you now in a segment we are calling Miss You Already, See You Next Summit. See You Next Summit. Let's begin. From the office of President Donald J. Trump, July 14th, 2018. Kim, I am writing with some very, very somber news. I have to tell you, I will be declaring war against your country, North Korea.

I gotta do it. Look, I hate to say it, but you are a ruthless, murderous, tyrannical dictator, and you got to be stopped. Psych! I wish I could have seen your face reading that. Because I bet you were like, what? Oh, no! And that would have been priceless. Believe me.

Believe me. And that would have been priceless. Believe me, believe me. Like, when I told Ivanka she was my favorite and acted like I didn't see Don Jr. in the room. The look on his face. Actual tears. I can't believe it's been a month since the summit ended. It was truly the best summit of my life.

I keep smiling to myself during executive time. Thinking. Thinking about how you make all those guys run next to your car. You're so funny. But I'm funny too. Remember when we were doing Tress Falls and I... And I pretended like I wasn't to catch you, but I did. First time I've ever physically touched an Asian man.

To think, everyone back home was like, don't go, don't go. Kim's been asking for this since 2000, and other presidents knew it was a diplomatic trap trap and that a summit must be predicated on actually advancing toward denuclearization Or it's a gift to one of the world's worst monsters God they were so dumb Anyways, thanks for agreeing to get rid of your nukes, which you promised keep in touch. Can't wait until the next summit July 15th, 2018. From the office of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. Dear President Trump,

we did not agree to get rid of our nuclear arsenal. Signed, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. November 9th, 2018. From the office of President Donald J. Trump. Kim, thank you so much for your letter. And it came in such a big envelope. So cool. Things have been crazy with me.

I just lost a big election that was not my fault at all. And I find myself thinking more and more about the summit. And I started imagining, why can't the summit be all the time? Like, what if we have another one? Screw it. Why don't we set a date and just do it? I know last summit, they wouldn't let us go jet skiing because of the optics, and because the Secret Service doesn't believe that my body contains ordinary human buoyancy, human buoyancy. But I think we can totally do it this year. And I know that we'll have fun, even if we have to switch off being the driver. I think that that's what's so magical about summit time. We just clicked so completely. Oh, I almost forgot. I asked the Prime Minister of Japan to nominate me for the Nobel Peace Prize. If I win, it'll be almost as cool as when we won the

three-legged race because you poison the guys who are winning. You are so random. Anyway, this total cho-jima-costa keeps saying, keep saying keep saying that our summit was a failure because you have no incentive to make binding agreements because you've already gotten what you wanted. Respect on the world stage. CNN, yuck. I wish I could kill journalists like you.

I want to kill journalists. Okay, well, let me know. See you next summit. Tell Dennis Rodman I said hi. Keep in touch. Done. November 10th, 2018. From the office of Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. Dear President Trump,

we gladly accept your offer of a second summit on the condition that you remove all sanctions from North Korea. Please advise. Sincerely, Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un. January 5th, 2019. From the office of President Donald J. Trump. Yes, yes, yes, yes! I cannot wait. And thanks again for such a big envelope! Can't believe they make them that large. I saved them. I can't throw them out. Oh, and instead of Singapore, let's do Vietnam this time. Never been there because of the wink wink

bone spurs. You get it. This is going to be the greatest summit of our lives. Best friends forever, Don. P.S. Losers back home keep saying that since you declined to participate in lower level diplomatic meetings, the kind where actual disagreements are hammered out in advance, that you aren't serious about this friendship. March 1st, 2019. From the office of President Donald J.

Trump. Kim, I feel so hurt. I feel so betrayed. Sure, my head was elsewhere because Michael Cohen, who was like the son I never had, tried to talk junk about me and Matthew Calamari. But I thought you'd understand that. Like when I saw you, you acted like you didn't even know me. You acted like last summit didn't mean anything to you. Maybe the deep state was right about you. That when leader to leader diplomacy fails, there are a few places to go. No higher up to step in

and cut a compromise that saves the deal. And that in sitting across from you when you have inflicted untold misery on the lives of millions, when you torture and murder opponents, when you work people to death in concentration camps for political prisoners, I undermine the basic values America is meant to represent to dissidents and suffering people everywhere with absolutely nothing to show for it except a photo with two smiling people, neither of whom should be in charge of nuclear weapons. Enclosed is the friendship bracelet you gave me. You told me it said BFF in Korean, but my translator has informed me that it actually means

you're an easily manipulated orange food clown. Goodbye forever. Unless you change your mind, and I hope you do. Don. And that's Miss You Already. See you next summit. Thank you to Anna for playing the role of Kim Jong-un and to Akilah Hughes for playing the role of Donald J. Trump.

When we come back, we'll play a game about football. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back madison wisconsin when i asked twitter what i should do here the two most common answers were to eat cheese and leave face the vibe you're putting out there. But one point of pride here in Wisconsin is a team called the Green Bay Packers. But I don't know if you know this about the NFL, but it's not how you say good. And its teams tend to be run by imperious billionaires,

but not the Packers. And we thought we'd highlight this in a game we're calling It Ain't Easy Being Green Bay. In this game, each of our panelists will read a series of facts, and you have to guess which of them is the owner of a professional football team. Would someone out there like to play the game? Hi, what's your name? Megan.

Megan. How you doing? Good. Where are you from? Madison. Hell yeah. Are you familiar with football? Yes. Okay. Are you familiar with football? Yes. Okay.

Are you familiar with some of the owners of this illustrious league? The many... Some. Some of them. Some of them are... Craft. Yeah, sure. He's been in the news lately.

All right. You guys ready? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Question one. Which of the following people You guys ready? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Question one.

Which of the following people is the owner of Washington's football team? Is it person A? I am a member of the Koch family. Often Koch? Koch. Koch. Right. We were all a little shook. Right. We were all a little shook. Pretty sure it's Coke.

I remember the Coke family, often referred to as the hot one. While I was never convicted, I was arrested for peeing off the side of a 55-story condo building I owned after a night of doing whippets with a woman who was not my wife. I am deeply sorry for any harm that I might have caused. I bought the team to prove I wasn't racist after journalists found photos of me wearing blackface in my grad school yearbook, my college yearbook, my high school yearbook,

my middle school yearbook, my elementary school yearbook, and high school yearbook, my middle school yearbook, my elementary school yearbook, and my wedding photos. Or is it owner B? I am the owner of the Warren and football team. Is it okay if I use an accent? I don't think so.

You got it. Sure, whatever character, you bring whatever energy you want to this character. When we lost games, I would leave a big tub of melting ice cream on my defensive coordinator's desk to show him that I was upset. I am so cheap, I once bought a bunch of old peanuts from a failed airline to sell at games. The peanuts still had the airline logo on the bag.

I once bought a large amount of stock in Six Flags and then personally fired that dancing old man who was the company mascot. I am worth $2.3 billion and donated to Trump's inauguration and was one of the few invited to attend one of the glitziest pre-inaugural dinners.

Or is it owner C before I read this I just want to say I don't have a very good foghorn leghorn impression so I am the owner of the Washington football team I ran as the Green Party candidate for mayor of Silver Springs

Maryland and came in fourth behind a Democrat, a Republican, and a Golden Retriever named Ladybug. When we lost games, I would call the coach afterwards and read him my favorite John Berryman poems to let him know we will get through this. to my favorite John Berryman poems to let him know we will get through this. I'm an outspoken social activist and academic who has posited that the longevity of the racist name of their team is actually a performance art piece

on just how long the American moderate will tolerate low-impact intolerance. What do you think? I like the accent for B, so I'm just going to go with B. And you're right. That is actually Daniel Snyder, who owns Washington's football team. He's rich because he founded a company thanks to a loan from his rich father.

He also rallied for Washington to keep their racist team name and even fought a petition by Native Americans and the Justice Department all the way to the Supreme Court. Question two. Megan, who is the owner of the New England Patriots? Is it A? I am the owner of the New England Patriots. In 2012, while I was in my early 70s, I started dating my current girlfriend, who's in her early 30s. That same year, I helped her film an audition tape for the smash hit comedy The Internship.

I read the lines for Owen Wilson's part. In 2005, I met Vladimir Putin, and when he asked to see my Super Bowl ring, he put it on and left with it. The Bush administration asked me to say it was a gift which would help with U.S.-Russia relations. Just last month, I was caught on camera soliciting prostitution at Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida. And the really gross part, I am a close friend of Donald Trump,

who I spoke to on the phone once a week for an entire year. Last August, I gave Trump another one of my Super Bowl rings as a gift. It's another thing for him and Putin to have in common. Or as it be, I am the owner of the New England Patriots. I once tried to change the name to the Confederate Generals.

That was not on the card. I am an entrepreneur and successful business owner born in 1991. No one born in 1991 sounds like that anymore. Continue, sir. Your state. In the year of our Lord, 2013, I founded a... Unbelievable. I founded a company called Magnus's. I probably didn't even pronounce that correctly. An exclusive invitation-only credit card which gave New York City elite a cool place in an office to drink Stella Artois and to network. Last year my business partner Ja Rule and I, we launched a music festival that was talked about newspapers

all around the world and is even the subject of many highly successful documentaries. Bella Hadid follows me on Instagram, but for sure she muted me. Or is it C? I shouldn't have to follow this. Okay. I am the owner of the New England Patriots. We know it's not C. Okay, fine. I'm the owner of the New England Patriots. We know it's Nazi, okay? Fine. I'm the owner of the New England Patriots. I have a net worth of $1.7 billion. I'm a born-again virgin who made my fortune

buying up misspelled domain names like NewYorkYimes.com and Fugle. When I'm not busy standing up for states' rights, you can find me getting busted for DUIs and recording in the studio with my ska band of Breathless September. One time I went skiing with Don Jr. and we both broke our wrists.

So funny. Hi, Megan. It's good to see you again. It's been a long time. What's your answer? A. That's right. That is the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, net worth of $6.2 million. He pitched in $1 million to Trump's inauguration.

It's also been reported that after Trump passed the tax cut, he called Trump personally to say thank you, which is only polite. Question three. Who owns the Green Bay Packers? Is it A? I am the owner of the Green Bay Packers. I am the millionaire former quarterback who is mostly known as a spokesperson for Wrangler Jeans

I once played for the Jets and the Vikings and also for Green Bay but no one really remembers that should I do it in the foghorn like one verse yes one time I leaked a dick pic And the most disgusting part

Wasn't my penis It's that I was wearing Crocs Or is it B? You gotta go all in with the accent. Like for the last part, it should have been like... Now you're giving acting tips? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to give acting tips. Wait.

Yes. So for the last part, it should be like, I leaked a Diksha picture. That's what it should be. Or is it B? I'm the owner of the Green Bay Packers. I'm a 200-year-old billionaire mogul who earned my money thanks to my family's Nerf fortune. We don't earn the Nerf company.

We just have a ton of super rare Nerf guns. I'm a proud donor to the NRA, and medically speaking, I'm a loose pile of bones held together by one of the blue shirts with a white collar that the 80s businessmen wear. You know those collars? You know?

They come with cocaine. Never trust a person wearing one of those white collars on a blue shirt. Don't trust them. Not a lot of them we've met. A lot of shit you see in New York City. Or is it C? We are the owners of the Green Bay Packers.

We are the owners of the Green Bay Packers. We are 360,760 stockholders who individually make up the ownership structure of the Green Bay Packers. We do... Yeah. We do not have a singular owner, and we are just common folks keeping our team in the hands of the people.

No other team is allowed to be owned like us because, well, we are the best. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The accent. You know, I take umbrage with that accent.

It's not a cute one. I just wanted to be a part of it. Everyone was doing it. You got to be a little more nasally. Oh, okay. That's how we talk. Megan, what do you think? It's C. You got it.

Founded in 1919, the team operates as a publicly held nonprofit. Every few years, the team allows public to purchase shares in the company, which currently has a total of 363,948 shareholders. This is a point of pride for the great people of Green Bay and Wisconsin. Let me ask you this. Does it pay any dividends? Can you trade them? I see.

Are they protected by any kind of security law? Do you have any say in what happens to the team? Okay. So you buy this, you own it. Then nothing. When we come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.

And we're back. Now it's time for the rant wheel. You know how it works. We spin the wheel wherever it lands. We talk about it. This week on the wheel, we have people suggesting that Milwaukee is, quote, not fancy enough, end quote. We have CPAC. We have Steven Spielberg hating on Netflix. We have punctuation, period versus exclamation point. We have some shenanigans involving To Kill a Mockingbird. We have, this is specific,

the declining quality of Caesar salads. I wonder where that came from. I didn't write that. Everyone's looking at me. You don't know about this. Real Iron Man suits and cheese curds. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on cheese curds.

Guys, these things are fantastic. And you need to get some confidence, get a meeting together, meet with some of the other Green Bay Packers owners, take a little bit of that money you were going to use to buy more paper stock, invest in some way to take Wisconsin milk, convert it into

cheese curds, and sell it across the country. There is no reason that I have to come here to eat them. This is America. We get everything everywhere now. Every store is the same. Every city is the same. There is nothing special about any local place anymore. That's the bargain we made.

Alright? We all shop at the same online store. We go to the same 14 fucking restaurants. They all should be selling cheese curds. At some point, due to consolidation, economic dislocation of a rot inside of the culture, we decided that literally 100% of our cities will be identical. I don't like it, but it's the world we live in. So here are the choices we now have. Cheese curds nowhere or cheese curds everywhere.

And all I'm saying is, there are some ways in which I have benefited from this new world. One of which is there's literally no restaurant left that does not serve spinach and artichoke dip. I don't know why that happened.

I don't get it, but I love it. And I see no reason why in the phone book that is the Cheesecake Factory's menu, there isn't a beautiful little line that says, Wisconsin Cheese Curds. Think of how proud you'll be. They make mozzarella sticks look like mozzarella dicks. They are so much better. It's a subtle difference, but it counts. So get your shit together. Take that stuff national.

It's fantastic stuff. You're shouting Culver's? What does that mean? It's a restaurant. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was supposed to know everything about every city in America. It's a national. You can get them elsewhere? You're using national very loosely.

I've been to a lot of places. Are you trying to tell me, me, that there is a fast food national chain I haven't heard of. Someone who has eaten fast food in literally every major city in the United States. Don't come at me with Culver's. If it's a national chain, you'll know it when I know it.

Spin it again. Culver's? It's real. Was that accurate at all? Okay. You know what? I don't care. It has landed on Steven Spielberg hating Netflix. Akilah. That was me. I mean,

okay, before I start, just to correct your error, there is a place called Culver's and they have custard and they have and they even have it in Kentucky. So, I mean, it's wild that you haven't heard of this, but it's okay. All right, so Steven Spielberg is supposedly going to propose to the Academy

that Netflix be taken out of the running for the Academy Awards because it is just too unfair that they watch them on Netflix instead of going to the theater to watch garbage films like Ready Player One or whatever it was called. I believe that he is very sore about it as if if Roma had been released nationally Ready Player One still wouldn't be like a big piece of shit. I believe that Steven Spielberg is nostalgic for the 80s

and he's like, oh, that's what people want. We're like, no, we want you to make good films again, Steven. And fuck you for saying Netflix isn't good, okay? There are so many good shows

by women, by people of color, by people who are non-binary, by people whose stories have not been told because of Hollywood and its gatekeepers and the fact that you have to know someone to get anything done.

And so, sorry Steven, that you haven't had a hit since E.T., but the new guard is here, and eat my whole ass. Let's spin it again. The whole thing? It has landed on Milwaukee. Not being fancy enough. Mr. Lieutenant Governor. Milwaukee not being fancy enough. Mr. Lieutenant Governor. Milwaukee is not fancy.

What the hell do you get off? First of all, let me... You should tell them who said it. So first of all, Miami said that. Let's talk about, not only do we have beer in Milwaukee, we have the champagne of beers. And that is Miller High Life. A much different and much more legal high life than you'll get in Miami. And we can also talk about transportation options, because I once saw a raccoon riding the back of an alligator in a picture, presumably from forest to forest, trying

to stop forest fires in Florida. And also, we do not want to have a convention where we're consistently under the threat of Florida man. So let's talk about that. And second of all, Wisconsin as a state, we righted our wrongs in 2016, and we won in 2018. So we are an example of how to win again with a real working class message. So don't you tell me we're not fancy enough.

There are a lot of things. I'm real mad, but I got a lot of things to consider here, so I'm going to stop. I did not know that Miami had the audacity to suggest that another city lacked class. Sorry, when did a white leather couch become fancy? I'm with you. I'm fancy. I'm with you. Let's spin it again. It has landed on CPAC.

Now, we began with Donald Trump's appearance, but to take on the larger world into which he entered. Anna, take it away. So CPAC is bad. And I say that as someone who's covered CPAC for many years. But I also think covering CPAC is actually kind of bad.

And I say that as someone who covered CPAC for years. It's lazy, number one. Like, it's right across, you know, from Washington, D.C. So reporters go, and all they have to do is, like, fucking sit in a ballroom and type. It's the easiest gig in the world. I say this as someone who's done it before. I believe you did it for Crooked Media last year.

No, no, no. Actually, see, what I was going to say is the real stories at CPAC are the attendees, which is what I did for Crooked Media last year. Yeah, and it was pretty great. The people who speak there, you could just turn on TV and watch them. The people that go there, they are going there to learn dirty tricks. They're going there to learn new fascist techniques. They're going there to learn new ways to implement bigotry.

I mean, I'm not kidding. They say that the states are the laboratories of democracy. They're also the laboratories of fascism. there to learn new ways to implement bigotry. I mean, I'm not kidding. Like, this is like, you know, they say that the states are the laboratories of democracy. They're also the laboratories of fascism, especially in state houses that used to be run by, let's say, Scott Walker. Where did they learn that shit? They learned it at CPAC. And I also think that it's lazy of reporters to cover CPAC because it's a bunch of fucking white people. And I say this as a white person who's covered CPAC. But I think in general, this is a fault of mainstream media. Mainstream media is really good at covering people who are like doing the racism. They are terrible at covering people

who are experiencing the racism. More of that. Let's spin it again. All right, this will be the last one. It has landed on periods versus exclamation points. We have a societal problem. Okay? And the problem is, all of us have caught on to the I'm so busy, I don't even put punctuations

at the end of my sentences. Give me a break. Alright? So that's option, I guess there's really three options. So there's the no punctuation option, where you're like, I'm so busy, see you there. No end. See you there. No end. See you there.

Forever. Then there's see you there, period. Are you mad? Like, was I annoying you? Did this conversation take too much of your precious time? And then there's, see you there! I'm so excited! We need something halfway between the period and the exclamation point. We need it. It is a legitimate problem, and I don't know what it should be, but the thing that's happened now is... Don't say semicolon.

Shame on you, balcony. That's the first thing I heard from you, and it was garbage. Let's end on a high note. There was a story today. A study came out from Zurich or somewhere where they still fund science, which is good because we need more of it. That planting 1.2 trillion trees could cancel out a decade of carbon dioxide emissions,

which is cool. There are currently 3 trillion trees on Earth. They just counted. And in fairness, it took a long time to plant them all. A really long time. But all we need to do is plant 1.2 trillion trees. And we can

cancel out a decade's worth of climate change. That's pretty cool. And we should try, I think. It is. It's a huge number of trees. But they measured out the land of all the space where there could be trees. And they're like, we can get it done. And listen, there are seven billion people on earth, all right? Let's say a billion of them each plant three trees a day.

Knock this shit out in a year. Anybody here studying math? I used to study math, but then I ate edibles for a year. Okay. So each of you should plant three trees, and if you all do it, and another billion people do it, every day, for a year, that's a trillion trees, I'm pretty sure. It's going to take a lot of maintenance

in the forest to keep that up, though. Yeah. And that's our show. I want to thank Anna Marie Cox, Akilah Hughes, Lieutenant Governor Mandela Barnes, Nancy Pelosi, as always. Thanks, Madison. Have a great night. Straight to the top Nothing more to do

It's nothing for you Straight beyond those eyes