Lovett or Leave It - Dirty Sexy Hush Money
Episode Date: March 10, 2018Well it’s been another boring week without news here in America. Yikes. Anyway, we covered: potential campaign finance violations related to Trump’s sex NDAs, Mueller is moving and witnesses are l...osing it, Fox News freaks over the Oscars, and more. In a special “Keep It” edition of the show, Jon is joined by Ira Madison III, Kara Brown, and Louis Virtel to break down the week’s news, recorded live from Austin, Texas.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, Austin.
It is so wonderful to see you all.
Thank you for coming out tonight.
I know this is Austin, and so you could have been spending this time at an old gas station
converted into an open-air eatery that charges $17 for a margarita.
Don't cheer for that.
Don't cheer for it.
How many Edison bulbs do you need? Don't cheer for that. Don't cheer for it.
How many Edison bulbs do you need?
Did you guys know that the purchase of Edison bulbs and exposed wood for various mezcal bars is helping support Texas' growing economy? It's...
Take a can of beer.
You want to charge $6 for it.
What do you do?
Tariffs.
Tariffs.
What I was going to say
is only that if you want to charge $6
for any can of domestic beer,
you need exposed wood,
you need Edison bulbs,
and that's it.
We're at South by Southwest
where people just can
in the past
first of all that's hilarious
just hard booing
for South by Southwest very similar to
when we mentioned we're in Houston
with an incredibly liberal Houston audience
and we mentioned
somebody we mentioned the
DCCC the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee.
Oh, man.
I want to keep this in because that is incredible.
Shouldn't the status quo ante being nobody has an opinion about the DCCC,
or that it is positive?
How many of you are Democrats?
Democrats.
about the DCCC, or that it is positive, how many of you are Democrats?
How many of you have a bad reaction to DCCC?
I don't know, too many phone calls.
So you're just, you're not,
you don't have a policy problem.
They're just interrupting,
they're interrupting brunch for you. That's so, that's so funny. I think the disapproval
is purely about inconvenience. Subject line. Help, I'm trapped in a well. A well of Trump's Donate. Stop shouting candidate names.
Beto O'Rourke, that we can do.
So, a little bit of housekeeping.
We got so many incredible portraits of our current president.
They're amazing. We are going through them. We are going to announce
the finalists soon and there will be a lovely place where you can visit and look at them
and pick out your favorites and then we'll be making various items on which the portrait
sits. Also, what a day, the Crooked Media newsletter.
It is out of beta.
You've all seen it.
If you haven't, you should subscribe.
How many people have subscribed to what a day?
If you haven't or you don't know what it is, Crooked Media just launched a brand new newsletter that sort of is a digest of the top stories of the day with some analysis from Priyanka
Arabindi, Brian Boitler, and all of us at Crooked Media, your friends at Pod Save America. We're really proud of it. We
worked really hard to get something that we thought we would want to read at the end of
the day, at the end of a busy day, and we hope you feel the same way. So go to crooked.com
and subscribe. Okay. Let's start the show. We've got a fantastic panel.
Globalist Gary Cohen,
Gary Cohen, Sam Nunberg's sponsor,
and Ari from The Bachelor.
No, this is a very special Keep It edition of Love It or Leave It.
Keep It is the newest show from Crooked Media,
the intersection of pop culture and politics.
It is absolutely one of my favorite podcasts. I look forward to it every weekend.
It's when I listen to it. I would be a fan of it if it wasn't under the auspices of the growing media empire known as Crooked Media.
So let's welcome our panel.
He's a comedian, writer, and you can hear him as a co-host of Crooked Media's Keep It.
Please welcome Louis Vertel.
She was previously a senior writer at Jezebel
and currently writes for Freeform's Grown-ish,
and she is also a co-host of Keep It.
Please welcome Cara Brown.
Right, I'm trying to get an Adidas sponsorship. Is it working? For those listening, Kara's in a, I would call it forest green. What do you think?
Forest green, yeah.
A forest green Adidas.
Set off by a yellow mule.
Set off by a yellow mule.
Thank you.
Track suit. Track suit, jumpsuit, track suit.
Track suit. I suit, jumpsuit, track suit.
Track suit.
I'll get you one.
He's a culture critic and columnist.
You know him from Twitter and also the host of the podcast, Keep It.
Please welcome Ira Madison.
Ira, I didn't say the third and it was an accident.
Is it the kind of thing I should fix,
or the kind of thing that you're way too don't care to care about?
It's okay, John. Time's up.
Again, for those listening at home,
Ira is wearing a jean jacket,
which he just opened to expose a Time's Up t-shirt.
As you may also know,
Ira has adopted Time's Up as a kind of catch-all phrase
with which he can respond,
end conversations,
begin conversations
on virtually
any topic. I mean, it's not watering down the movement
at all.
Ira said,
time's up to a Postmates delivery
earlier today.
Ira is also wearing the most colors of denim ever.
Yes.
We're in the 8 to 11 range.
All right.
Let's get into it.
What a week!
So, we have to talk about Stormy Daniels.
She's done it. She's done it.
If Adam Rippon wasn't America's sweetheart, certainly Stormy Daniels would be.
Maybe she can take the title from him in the octagon.
What started as a bit of a sides show has slowly become a genuine political scandal.
Guys, I need your help.
I'm going to run through some of the most recent revelations regarding Ms. Daniels and others.
I want you to help me.
When I say a sentence, at the end of it, you say allegedly.
Okay?
So let's do a test because it it's going to come fast, alright?
Donald Trump was blackmailed with a pee tape.
Allegedly. Perfect.
One month before the
2016 election, Trump paid $130,000
in hush money to porn actress
Stormy Daniels. Allegedly.
The money was to cover up the details of their
affair. Allegedly. This week,
Stormy Daniels sued Donald Trump,
claiming the nondisclosure agreement she signed isn't valid
because it was signed by his lawyer, Michael Cohen,
and not Trump himself.
What?
We also learned Michael Cohen made the deal
with his Trump organization email.
What?
And Trump sought to buy her silence
after multiple women came forward
accusing Trump of sexual assault
in the wake of the Access Hollywood tapes.
What?
According to the Washington Post,
this all means that the payment
violated federal election law.
Even sadder, Michael Cohen
claims that to make this illegal payment, he borrowed
against his own home.
And to top it all off, give me
one final allegedly, because this is gross.
Stormy Daniels seems to imply that she might have
messages or sex from the president
that she has barred from sharing.
The guy in the front
has been leading with a holy shit.
Every time.
That was like an Animaniacs song.
We found out about
Stormy a few months ago,
and people sort of shrugged it off. I think
Republicans and Evangelicals
just find ways to avoid thinking about these things.
You know, I don't know, various coping mechanisms
and cynicism, but in Congress especially.
And Democrats, I think, struggle to get themselves riled up
about these kinds of things.
But now it feels like it maybe has moved out of the prurient
into something more like a political scandal
people can latch
onto? What do you think? Do you think that it is shifting from isn't this salacious to
this is important? I don't know, John. I have never heard of a political joke that somehow
became dangerous when people didn't pay enough attention to it. Like Donald Trump himself.
Oh, I see. It's funny. Like we... It was a joke.
No, it's... There are so many scandals.
You know, there's like...
You can pay attention to Stormy Daniels.
You can pay attention to, you know, Jared Kushner running around the White House trying to get his clearance back.
You can pay attention to, you know, Omarosa, who, you know who I went shopping with last week.
She's a lovely woman.
But it's the idea that people were not really paying attention, one, because it was jokey,
because she's a porn star.
And they were like, we can't take this porn star seriously.
She's not going to bring Trump down.
He had sex with a porn star.
Okay, like, how many people has he raped, allegedly?
You know?
And so it's like, now, it's true. You know?
There are actually illegal things that may have been done to keep her quiet.
Kara, I think that raises a question about this.
Is the fact that Stormy Daniels is somebody who works in adult entertainment,
has that been part of why the story didn't gain traction,
that people don't take it seriously because of where she comes from?
Yeah.
I mean, people barely take women seriously when we're
like you know being competent and like saving
your asses all the time so
it's I'm a hundred
percent that was part of it and
I really think this should be a lesson to
all the ladies that when dudes send
you creepy texts and
dick pics save that shit put
it in this put it in your drop box.
Keep it with the date, with a time stamp,
because if that shit shows up in court,
I mean, it'll just be, I mean, it's perfect.
It's perfect.
That's what you get.
What a fun way to say keep it.
What a, keep it, right.
I mean, keep it because it's gross and bad and disgusting,
but also maybe don't because then it could bring down like a terrible, terrible person.
So if he was brought down by a dick pic that she just saved, can you imagine?
Which is ironic because dick pics and Anthony Weiner is partially what led to the Comey letter.
Right.
Which brought about, which helped bring about
this current crisis.
It could be dick... The revenge of the dick pics.
Dick pic bookends. Yes.
That feels
apt.
Lewis.
Yes.
What kind of sexter do you imagine
Donald Trump to be?
What kind of sex do I imagine him to be? What kind of sexter? What kind of sexter do you imagine Donald Trump to be? What kind of sex do I imagine him to be?
What kind of sexter?
What kind of sex message sender?
He's going to...
I picture all caps.
I think you said sexting.
Yeah, sexting.
Sexting.
It's definitely...
Sexy text messages.
Right.
It definitely looks like a ransom note.
She receives them, assumes somebody has been kidnapped,
and then realizes it's about her autonomy and it being challenged.
Anyone have any other additional thoughts on the nature of this scandal?
The fact that Michael Cohen, Trump's lawyer,
clearly is at kind of the helm of maybe more than just this one payment.
It seems like his name has been popping up around a series of payments and other kind of nefarious deeds to kind of keep Trump's bullshit out of the papers before the 2016 campaign.
But at the same time, this is after the Access Hollywood tape.
And even now, there's a question as to whether or not this will make a difference.
Do we believe that
what they were trying to cover up is something that
if we learn now, would have an effect
on our politics? Would it have an effect on the people
who support Trump if we learn the full weight
of what Michael Cohen has been trying to cover up on behalf
of Donald Trump?
It's weird because, you know,
so many of these things happen, I feel like,
every day that you're like,
you can't believe that this is going to be the magic bullet
that finally brings down Donald Trump.
Except I feel like it's an onion that keeps unraveling
and we keep on finding out exactly how stupid
everyone who works for Trump is.
And just when you thought that they were dumb,
they somehow revealed to be dumber.
And maybe Michael actually did do something like,
like I don't know, maybe Trump killed somebody
and he hid the body.
I just, I would not be surprised at this point.
And they think that they can get away with anything.
Because once you trick your way into the White House and just have parties with Russians all the time, when do you stop?
They're probably still doing illegal shit.
Do you remember an American gangster when Denzel Washington walked into the streets of Harlem
and shot a man in the head and was like
do something motherfuckers
he was like literally anyone do anything
and they didn't and he was
I mean not Denzel Washington but you know whatever drug lord
he was playing I honestly
I feel like that's it
well that's what Trump said that he could shoot somebody in Fifth Avenue
cause he saw American Gangster
and Denzel won an Oscar for that.
I mean...
Donald Trump does not watch movies.
Did he get an Oscar nom?
Ruby Dee nominated 2007, that's it, though.
I fell right into that trap.
I would just...
Correction, Donald Trump does not watch movies with black leads.
True, true.
So he might not have seen it. I think the thing
we're missing the most
in Stormy Daniels
scandal is the fact
that her attorney
is really hot.
Have you seen this man?
Have you seen him? Yeah.
He's the type of white dude
that I think, I'm not
going to speak for all black women but for
many of us i think it works i think that's it yeah kind of like if you watch if you watch his
look is very the king and i yes yeah it is yeah like a sexy bald head like you know this is getting a little too keep it.
Yeah, no, I saw the, but I'll just, I'll comment.
I saw the pictures and I, you know, I would say simply, okay, I get it.
Not my type, but good luck to the three of you.
Lewis, any other thoughts on the nature of the scandal? Yes, I have exactly one.
the nature of the scandal.
Yes, I have exactly one.
I just don't think heterosexual culture has
earned the,
shall we say,
camp stature of Stormy Daniels.
They can't handle it. They're not used to someone
like this appearing. We have
people like Carly Rae Jepsen. We have people
like...
We have all these odds and ends
people with harsh bobs
popping up all the time in gay culture,
and we find a place for them.
You guys are simply enamored of her
because she has a silly name and makes adult movies,
and I need you guys to be adults about this.
Did you just lump me in with straight...
I did not, no.
I'm just making sure it's clear that the you guy...
Because you were looking at me,
but I know it's directed at these people.
My own heterosexual brother is here tonight,
so I am lecturing him also, yes.
When we come back,
the Russia stuff.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back!
As you know, for a long time we've been doing a segment called The Russia Stuff
where I quickly run through the latest revelations in Mueller's mining operation
into the depths of human depravity and stupidity.
But what we have slowly begun to see is that this is far more than a Russia investigation.
That title is starting to feel outdated,
and so tonight we will have a new version of this segment.
It is called The Russia,
but really the vast web of criminality and corruption stuff.
And the reason we run through it quickly is
the outcome of this investigation is very important,
but there's very little for any of us to do other than sit by the computer machine and waiting for the Mueller pot to boil.
But we can care about health care and DACA and all the other issues on which we can actually fight and be part of the debate.
So, we have two minutes on the clock, and we will run through the latest revelations.
Here we go.
On Monday, Mueller delivered a grand jury subpoena to former Trump aide Sam Numburg,
requiring him to produce all of his emails, text messages, work papers,
telephone logs, and other documents going back to November 1st, 2015, shortly after
Trump launched his campaign. Mueller's team is seeing all communication between
Numburg, Steve Bannon, Michael Cohen, Richard Gates, Hope Hicks, Corey Lewandowski,
Paul Manafort, Carter Page, Keith Schiller, and Roger Stone.
Fun fact, Cohen is the only person still working for Trump.
What a cool, lucky guy.
Numburg proceeded to go on a bizarre media tour, explaining that he could not possibly
spend the time to collect all of his emails, especially with all the press he was doing.
But within 48 hours, he complied with the subpoena and provided the requested info.
During his press junket, he said a lot.
One, Trump may have very well done something during the election with Russians.
Two, the Russians did offer Don Jr. dirt in his Trump Tower meeting.
Three, he believes Carter Page did collude with the Russians.
And four, Donald Trump caused all this because he's an idiot.
Also this week, we discovered Mueller may be looking at whether foreign money influenced Donald Trump through George Nader,
an advisor to United Arab Emirates with ties to Donald Trump.
Nader apparently represented the crown prince of the UAE at a secret January 2017 meeting in the Seychelles
between a Putin-friendly Russian investor and Eric Prince,
an informal Trump advisor and the founder of Blackwater.
Cool group, very normal.
A remote island a thousand miles from Madagascar
was the mouth of a volcano
too on the nose for your villain summit.
Mueller has gathered evidence that this meeting was
an effort to establish a back
channel to the Kremlin before Trump was
inaugurated. Nader is currently cooperating with Mueller
and the New York Times reported that he testified to the grand jury
last week. This shit has Trump nervous.
So nervous that apparently against legal advice he
asked both Don McGahn, his counsel, and
former chief of staff Reince Priebus what they discussed with
Mueller. This, if true, looks a lot like Trump was
interfering, which is sort of his passion project.
Trump also reportedly asked McGahn to issue a statement
denying the president ever asked him to fire Mueller.
McGahn, A, refused to comment on the statement,
B, reminded Trump that he did ask him to fire Mueller,
and then C, told all of this to Robert Mueller.
Finally, earlier today,
Trump lawyers are now considering offering special counsel Robert Mueller
a sit-down interview with Trump. One possible deal
would mean an interview in exchange for a commitment to end
the Russia investigation within 60 days
possibly, and to not ask
him questions except about Flynn and Comey. So
Trump's offer is end the investigation
and no hard questions.
Art of the deal.
And that's
the Russia, but really
a vast web of corruption and criminality
stuff. I get it.
If Armageddon had an auctioneer, it would be you, John Lovett.
It's hard.
It's hard, but you get through it.
When we come back, OK Stop!
Don't go anywhere.
This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.
And we're back!
And now,
first segment we call
OK Stop.
Here's how it works.
We'll roll a clip, and when we feel like it,
we'll say, OK Stop, and then talk about it.
A week ago, Hollywood's elite
and Ryan Seacrest gathered at the Dolby Theatre
to celebrate Florida Project being snubbed at the Oscars.
Finally, I'm on Keep It.
I am filled with endorphins right now.
Given the politics of this charged moment,
many celebrities felt it was important
to speak out to support women in the industry.
But not Sean Hannity.
Let's roll the clip.
Yes, the 90th Academy Awards took place last night,
but if you're like most Americans, you probably didn't see it. In fact, this year's award show was the least watched Oscars in recorded history. And tonight, we're going to spare you all the
painful details from the four-hour holier-than-thou parade of Hollywood elitism. Instead, we're going
to focus on some of the most egregious examples
of hypocrisy from last night's show.
The next blatant double standard from last night's show
involves the topic of gun control and, of course, cheap shots at the NRA.
Okay, stop.
No, Cara, you take it.
I don't want to stereotype.
Hollywood has a lot of decent amount of women, not treated well, but they're there.
A lot of gay people.
Do you think Sean Hannity has ever had the care
or love of any of them?
Just look at him.
I would never let anyone I love
move through the world like this.
Yeah, I mean, you know, generally I do believe the right has
a fashion and decorating problem.
Yeah, but not
just...
It's hard to pinpoint, you know?
It's very square.
I love the graphics
for all of these, because they look
like a series of Stephanie Plum
novels.
The Academy on lockdown.
She finds out that Francis McDormand killed Gary Oldman with a pencil sharpener.
I don't know.
I feel like half of the excitement in watching Fox News
is just seeing like,
like the way that like people love seeing the puns on the daily show. I feel like Fox News viewers are waiting to see like,
what's going to be the Photoshop graphic?
And they're like, the Academy on lockdown.
What does that even mean?
Hollywood hypocrisy.
And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I told my cousin that this morning.
What's it on lockdown from?
I don't know.
What's on lockdown?
I'm picturing poor Allison Janney behind bars.
I mean...
Get her out of there.
She's beloved.
The strange glee that the Oscars
weren't viewed by as many people,
that their ratings were down.
It's such a strange bit of punditry.
The world that Fox News creates for
its viewers is so small and so sad. They can't enjoy football. The range of things that they're
not allowed to enjoy anymore runs all the way from the Super Bowl to the least gay event of the year,
other than, I don't know,
Christmas at Westboro Baptist Church.
Too much.
Too much.
All the way to the Oscars, right?
Or the Grammys, or the Emmys.
Is there any national viewing experience
that the Fox News viewer is allowed to watch
without a knot in their stomach.
I love the most Americans you weren't watching it.
Like, most Americans don't do most shit, you idiot.
Like, what are you even, most Americans don't have guns, dumbass.
What are you even, what's your point?
What's your point?
Restrictions on your right to bear arms.
Well, they're also protected by heavily armed personnel.
In a lot of cases, 24-7.
Okay, stop.
I don't believe that there is a more,
that there is a dumber argument.
And somehow, both hacky liberals and hacky conservatives manage to make arguments about armed guards
and also places without armed guards.
The idea that, oh, you don't believe in the right to bear arms,
then why are you protecting yourself from guns with other guns?
Because of the guns!
It would reject an increase of armed security presence...
Okay, stop.
Sorry.
I'm just looking at his eyes, and I guess, who needs irises?
We're fresh out of them.
This is going to be a very
specific reference
but his eyes look like he's killed
15 of 16
colossi in Shadow of the Colossus.
Yes.
Are you with me on that?
His eyes
look like the child of a mother
who burned his Winnie the Pooh books
because he showed too much nudity.
Also, this is a small thing,
and you can't see this at home,
but the graphic is Hollywood hypocrisy,
and it's the Hollywood sign,
but nobody put in the 20 minutes of work it would have taken
to make hypocrisy look like the Hollywood above. So instead it just says Hollywood like the
Hollywood sign and then the word hypocrisy in an unrelated font in yellow beneath it. It's
fucking shit, which kind of makes sense because on the list of jobs graphic designers put on LinkedIn,
I imagine being Sean Hannity's Chiron monster is not high up on the roster.
Well, I mean, continuing with the highlights for children audience that watches Fox,
it says opening monologue here as if his audience
can't tell that this is the monologue that is opening the show.
I think that's there literally because there is a huge percentage of Sean Hannity viewers
who just have Fox News on mute in their living rooms by the Lazy Boy,
and they just, it's muted, and then when they see parts of it that they like,
like if they see Colin Kaepernick, they know it's going to be good,
or, you know, oh, this is going to be some stuff I like.
Or they see the phrase opening monologue, like,
oh, this is the part where Sean Hannity tells me what I think.
Well, they're the ones who enjoy the protection of hundreds of professionally trained members
of law enforcement that have guns and carry them and had them last night.
Okay, stop.
That's just what they do.
Right?
Like, law enforcement protects people, well, some of us, and they have guns.
So, it's not, you're just stating the job description are you not well i was just let's
just sure yes obviously but it's it's dumber still but why do you need like how can this person
not need an ar-15 for home use when these celebrities at a public event in an age in which this very same person constantly tells us
is threatened by all forms of terror and malice because of the failures of the black president
who came before do they need guns to protect themselves like do you believe that public
events should not have secured like we're not saying to get rid of all guns. We're saying get rid of
the guns people are using to kill
children in schools.
And there will
continue to be guns in our society
and guns used to protect
people who might be targets of violence.
It's not a
completely unreasonable, made-up thing.
It's also this weird conservative thing
where they act like
we hate every
single version of a gun.
You know? It's like I don't
want to get shot
at school. You know? But
I love you know watching reruns
of Walker Texas Ranger.
I like Charlie's
Angels. Like I like when I like
law enforcement people who are solving international mysteries to have guns.
I think it's a useful tool to use in a screenplay.
But we don't want everyone to be able to get guns.
And there's a difference between an armed security guard and, you know, if there weren't armed security guards,
then that would mean that, you know, everyone at the Oscars would have to hold a gun.
And, I mean, do you really want Jennifer Lawrence walking around with a gun?
Think about the actors you do not want to.
Sean should make, many of him, many he has criticized.
Joaquin Phoenix.
That came to you quick.
I was thinking of people I wouldn't want to have a gun.
Oh, okay.
The other thing, too, is, first of all,
I don't even know if you needed to have watched the Oscars
to write what he did,
but I don't remember there being some,
that much politics about guns or anyone,
you know, it was a very,
there was some politics,
but it wasn't extreme to my mind. I feel like the Golden Globes had more politics than the Oscars
did. I mean, do you agree with that? I would say it was actually a pretty anodyne telecast in terms
of politics. They played it safe mostly. I will say, I will concede this. In terms of people in
Hollywood who have guns and don't need them, I'm going to say Tomb Ra raider i don't know if any of you have an anthropology degree
but you don't usually need to slay bengal tigers and i do feel like she is sending the wrong message yeah and just this notion of the like to ira's point about not wanting to take all the gun
not you know not hating all whatever democrats are advocating for pretty reasonable compromise positions, right?
It's assault weapons ban, it's universal background checks, it's banning high capacity magazines,
it's banning things like bump stocks. That's the level we're talking about. So of course,
of course, and raising the age for purchasing weapons uh but of course he can't talk about that
because he can't cover that if he if he addressed it on the merits which he would never do uh so
instead we get this well hollywood makes fun of americans the ones that want to protect themselves
and arm their families and protect them as well they're the ones that utilize the services of armed security.
Don't our kids in school, don't they deserve about one one hundredth of the security that
we have at the Oscars?
To be fair, it is so broken that we're at a point where people with such a big audience
who speak for a pretty big swath of American voters are just casually advocating for treating every school
like a high-profile place that is the subject of mass violence because it is and because they don't
actually want to do anything to stop it. It's really sad. When we come back, we'll play a game.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back.
I'm not sure if you've heard this,
but Donald Trump hires the best people.
He hires so many of the best people,
they keep resigning because they are getting to be number one at scandals and getting caught
doing crimes. So we thought we'd highlight some of Trump's top minds in a game we call
The Best People. You each have clues in front of you. Would anyone out there like to play the game?
Hi, sir. What's your name?
Mike.
Mike. Are you from Texas?
Yes.
Where in Texas?
Austin.
You're from Austin. What do you do here in Austin?
I work for a software company. The pause leads to me to believe that you're an
assassin. So Mike, murderer from Austin, you ready to play the game? I'm ready.
Question number one. Last week, a rumor spread that Trump had finally found the perfect person to lead the FAA. Which person did he want to appoint? Was it A?
His longtime personal pilot.
Was it B?
Leonardo DiCaprio, who Trump continues to believe is actually Howard Hughes from The Aviator,
and no one had the heart to tell him the truth because he was having so much fun playing with that toy plane.
Or was it C?
A qualified person with experience managing a massive, complex organization
that oversees an intricate web of monitoring and safety protocols
in which literally millions of lives hang in the balance.
I'd love to say C, but it's A.
It is A, Mike.
Question number two.
Trump recently said that
Jared Kushner is a, quote,
high-quality person, end quote,
who has done, quote,
truly outstanding work, end quote.
Which of the following are facts
about Jared Kushner's outstanding work?
Was it A.
After his father bought the New York Observer for him as a graduation present,
he promptly killed what made it special and ran it into the ground.
Was it B.
Kushner had contacts with overseas officials that weren't coordinated with the White House,
and at least four foreign governments have discussed using Jared's business dealings and debt to manipulate him.
Was it C?
He met secretly in Trump Tower with
Kremlin-connected officials in hopes
of getting dirt on then-future president
Hillary Clinton. Was it D?
He reportedly thought firing
Comey was a good move.
Was it E?
He bought a building on
Fifth Avenue at the height of the financial boom
and has been trying to salvage the deal
and finance the debt basically ever since.
Was it F?
He's handsome to some people.
Ira, read it as written.
Just give me one, read it as written.
He's handsome, period.
Or Mike, was it G, all of the above,
because Jared is what happens when you give a Harvard legacy actual power.
I have to go with G.
It is.
It's G.
He looks like Timon or Pumbaa or whichever one was the meerkat.
No, wait. I've got it.
All right. Not that deep a cut, but somewhat deep.
He looks like Kristen Scott Thomas in The Horse Whisperer.
That's what he looks like.
If you don't know that reference, not a bad movie.
You talk to the horses. You make them feel better.
Question three. I don't think that's what it's about.
No one knows that reference.
Cara, do you think
Jared Kushner's handsome?
Question number three.
Question number three.
Dr. Ben Carson,
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, recently
came under fire for purchasing a $31,000
dinette set for his office with tax dollars.
Which of the following is also true about
Ben Carson? Was it A?
He once auditioned
for Grey's Anatomy
but didn't get the part
because the producers felt
he wasn't remotely believable
as a doctor.
You guys all catch that?
Can I read it again?
Just read it again.
Okay.
He once auditioned for Grey's Anatomy
but didn't get the part
because the producers felt
he wasn't remotely believable
as a doctor.
Was it B?
He was once hospitalized
for attempting to recreate
the egg-eating scene from Cool Hand Luke.
And when asked for comment after the fact, he said, quote,
I think I ate too many eggs.
Wild. What a life.
Those hands.
Or was it C?
He was a paid spokesperson for the company Manatech,
which sells dietary supplements that falsely claim to treat autism and cancer.
C.
It's C. It is.
Did he really? That's true?
It's really true. Ben Carson is fascinating.
He comes across so terribly that he has made me question how hard it is to be a phenomenal
brain surgeon. Well, you know what's crazy?
He used to be one of our best black
people. They let him cut,
they let that black man cut into baby brains.
They let him do that and celebrated
him for it and now look at him.
Like, we can't even, we can't even act like
that's, like, good job.
We can't even act like that was an achievement anymore.
Like, he will never fall
like as far as OJ
but he's pretty close.
Close, close. He's really close.
He's second to OJ honestly. In terms of
the delta from when
he had to fall.
Height of
look at what he's achieved.
Oh no. White people loved
him or you know they were cool with them
and now you know, they were cool with him. And
now, you know.
Question four.
The Secretary of Education, Betsy
DeVos, is definitely one of the best people.
Everyone remembers
her confirmation
in hearing in which she showed up
prepared.
But which of the following is also
true about Betsy DeVos? Was it A?
Her brother is Eric Prince, the founder of war for profit company Blackwater,
and one of the people accused of setting up a back channel between the Kremlin and president-elect
or was it B? When asked why there should be guns in school, she cited potential grizzly bear attacks.
These Hollywood elites
with their guns
to protect themselves from bears
while our children are going to school
with no guns to protect themselves from bears.
Or was it C?
She's handsome.
Ira, read what is written. When she recently visited the site of the Parkland school shooting, one student there
tweeted, Betsy DeVos came to my school, talked to three people, and pet a dog.
All of the above?
Mike, it was a trick question.
It's all of the above. Mike, it was a trick question. It's all of the above.
Mike, you have won the best people.
Guys, give it up for Mike.
He gets the parachute gift card.
When we come back, the rant wheel.
Don't go anywhere.
This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.
And we're back.
Now for a segment we call The Rant Wheel.
Here's how it works.
We spin the wheel, and wherever it lands, we discuss the topics. This week on The Wheel, we have Gary Oldman,
Suitcases with Batteries,
Ryan Seacrest,
Trump's Video Game Summit,
Alexa Going Sentient,
Ari the Bachelor,
Rachel Dolezal Documentary,
and American Idol.
Let's spin the wheel.
It has landed on American Idol,
which was a suggestion from Lewis.
Take it away.
You think this is going to be a rant
tearing down American Idol.
Oh, no. I'm going to be a rant tearing down American Idol.
Oh, no.
I'm going to defend American Idol and not Ryan Seacrest, who, as we know,
is the only human being made entirely of nerf.
Just basic science.
Huh.
This disease has attacked primetime
called The Voice. Have you heard of it?
It's this show that leads you to believe
that somehow stardom should be about
only vocal talent.
No celebrity has ever been interesting
only because they can hit a pitch with their voice.
That's, like, insulting.
But do you know why they eliminate people on American Idol?
Like, before they get to the live rounds.
People will just make it from one round
and they'll be brilliant. will just make it from one round
and they'll be brilliant.
They'll make it another round and they'll be brilliant.
And then the judges will eliminate somebody, you know why?
We're sick of them.
And that's how the music industry works.
That's actually true to how people become stars.
Just like actually, now that we think about it, no.
You don't deserve it.
So what I'm saying is American Isle is the real
deal, has had the best stars, has
had actual stars emerge from it,
as opposed to The Voice, which has launched
people into, like, getting an extra shift
at Dave & Buster's. I have no idea.
Alright, let's spin it again.
Thank you, Lewis. It has landed on the Rachel Dolezal documentary.
Cara, I believe this was your suggestion.
Tell us about it.
Okay.
I'm going to say something.
When this story first broke, I wrote a couple stories about it for Jezebel. I thought it was Okay. I'm going to say something. When this story first broke, I wrote a couple stories about it
for Jezebel. I thought it was funny. This crazy
white lady in Spokane was like
charging people to braid their hair,
was tearing up her edges
with those braids. I was like,
this is funny. I like this.
She was lecturing people on the history of
black hair.
And then it's now gone too far.
And now she's in this Netflix documentary.
And Netflix is like, it's okay.
She's not getting any money.
Like, she'd be doing this if she didn't thought she could profit from it at some point.
Her own son is tired of this bullshit.
He's all up in that documentary like, this shit again.
Like, she won't just let us.
Can we just be in Spokane?
Be the five black people and just relax?
Just the kids, not her, obviously.
And, you know, I just,
I feel like I'm a broken record,
because I keep saying this on Keep It,
about fucking Omarosa.
And you can't keep giving these people platforms.
Like, it's funny. It is funny.
I get it.
I get it.
It's fun to make fun of them.
They're shitty.
They suck.
But, like, this is actually only helping them.
It's only helping them.
And it's bad.
And it's so bad.
And it's partly how we ended up with Donald Trump.
And, like, I get it.
The jokes are funny.
I made so many jokes about this woman.
It's ridiculous.
It's ridiculous.
But it's enough.
Enough.
Do you think like
Justin Timberlake sees her in the news and is like,
that's my sister.
While he's getting his hair
relaxed in the salon.
You know what it is?
It's possible to hate watch
something, but there is actually no such thing as hate attention.
Yeah.
You can hate watch and make fun of a show,
but attention is the same
no matter what direction you're firing from.
And she's taking up space
that actual black women could occupy.
Like Netflix, yo, Netflix,
I got plenty of show ideas.
I got plenty of show ideas for you.
Give Kara Brown a show.
I will at least offer that the dangers of Rachel Dolezal are that she gets New York Times profiles.
She gets Netflix documentaries. TV flunky who ended up in the Trump administration is she ends up on Celebrity Big Brother, which,
you know, was, I don't know, seen by less people than the failing Oscars. So, you know, I feel like
Omarosa started as a reality TV villain. She's back to doing that. If she wants to be on like
a VH1 reboot of I Love Money, I would gladly watch it. When she's Senator Omarosa, you'll see.
All of you will see.
I want to make two points.
One, I really thought that
Ijeoma Oluo's piece on Rachel Dolezal,
I thought that that left her underground.
I thought that that was it.
I thought it was like a whatever.
We're done with her.
That was it.
It was the part of the Mortal Kombat where the announcer says fatality.
You know?
You get it.
Two, on Omarosa, I've had a revelation, Kara.
Just deal with it for one second.
Okay.
Okay?
Even though she did it on Big Brother, which was deeply dystopian,
she has been more honest about the dysfunction inside of the White House publicly than Sean Spicer, Dina Powell, Gary Cohn, or Reince Priebus or any of the others that have departed.
And so, in a way...
You going to buy her book?
No.
Okay.
I'll get a publicity copy.
I will request the galleys.
Yeah, we're going to read over
the galleys and give her notes.
Alright, let's spin it again.
It has landed on
Trump's video game
summit.
How many of you are aware of this happening this week?
Trump brought in video game executives and some conservatives and members of Congress to talk about violence in video games.
Apparently it was a very strange meeting.
He played a YouTube video of a compilation of violent moments from video games
and was like, pretty
violent.
And I don't think very much came of the meeting beyond that.
Apparently, the meeting was bonkers.
Like, what are we all doing here?
But I did want to talk about, it's ridiculous, obviously, to blame video games for what's
happening, right?
We have, when it comes to mass shootings, and you guys know I
love video games. You guys know I'm a video game player. Like, we have an epidemic of gun violence,
and we have a contagion in the minds of broken men about shooting up places,
based on the publicity that these kinds of shootings have gotten, right? The contagion of people seeing on television that they can go out in a blaze of glory
and then recreating it themselves, this vicious cycle.
So it's access to dangerous firepower and this crazy contagion.
I don't think either one of those things can be looked at as being caused by video games.
can be looked at as being caused by video games. However, I do think it would be helpful for liberals
to be honest about what it says about a culture
in which millions of young men go home at night,
turn on a machine, and play realistic games
in which they shoot bodies over and over and over again.
And I say that as someone who plays those games.
I'm not a Call of Duty.
I'm more of an indie gamer, you know?
I'm more of a cerebral shooter.
But I think that because conservatives and the NRA have spent so much time effectively
pushing our attention to other things, whether it's trying to blame mental illness or
trying to blame video games or trying to blame the
culture or whatever else
that we're sometimes not confident enough as
liberals to say, we need to
do these reforms on gun control.
But at the same time, there's
some truth to this idea that there is
a sickness in our culture.
And I think there is.
And I don't think we should be afraid of saying is. And I don't think we should be afraid
of saying it, and I don't think it's puritanical
either. I think that's
absolutely true. However,
you have to look at
the statistics of
the people who play these games
and then actually go and start
shooting up places.
And these are young white men
who watch these games. They're
young white men who shoot up these schools. So the real problem we need to
talk about is how we condition white men in America because gay kids play video
games too and you know I don't see any of them going to school dressed as Chun
Lee trying to kill people.
No, I think that goes to the heart of it, right?
That the video game, that this culture of Call of Duty and these other games,
that it goes to that problem that you're talking about.
Like, what are we telling people to want?
What are we telling people to spend their nights sort of as their hobby?
And I do think that it's reasonable to have that conversation.
I'm not saying ban anything.
Buy whatever you want.
Go crazy.
I think it's reasonable to say, yeah, we talk about the movies and we watch the Oscars, but video games, the sales of these big games, it dwarfs the Avengers, right?
I mean, quietly, this is the culture.
Men at night in front of video games playing very violent games is a huge, huge part
of American culture. And what continues to
evolve about the video games,
I mean, going back to the 90s and
still now, is the hyper-realism of it.
That's what continues to change and evolve about
them. You know what I mean? It's like, when that's
what we're spending, you know, the
massive video game vault
fortune on, making them more realistic,
that is strange.
Can I ask you, was there somebody out there
that was mad about what I was saying?
Yes.
Can you...
Why? I'm really curious, actually.
I don't want to blame the media,
but I think that's a really smart point
because what we see in video games
is similar to what we see in movies, right?
That there are these big-budget blockbuster violent games.
What do you want to say?
I'm excited actually to hear.
Every country has shitty parents and access to violent video games
and access to violent movies.
They watch them at the same rate.
And also similar rates of mental illness.
So that's a great point.
That's a great point.
And I don't, I, that's a fair point. So the point that she's
making, which I think is an important counterpoint,
is every country plays video games.
Every country gets our movies.
Every country has mental illness.
Every country has shitty parents. Every country
has bullying. Every country has these problems
and yet we are the only country with this problem
of mass shootings. Obviously,
as I said from the outset,
the two big causes of this have absolutely
nothing to do with video games. And I'm not saying video games have anything to do with this, but I
do think it is still reasonable to talk about the culture of the games that we're seeing. And to the
point someone said, don't play in the medium, I think that's totally fair. However, look at the
response to the movie Death Wish with Bruce Willis, which is a deeply kind of reactionary version of whatever, macho,
white, male, revenge fantasy, right? A part of a movie genre that has been around for a very long
time, but this does feel old-fashioned and strange. That is a big part of the stories that we're
talking about. I do think you're right to not blame the medium. There are plenty of games that aren't like this. However, one of
my favorite games of all time,
Portal, Portal 2, fantastic
game. The truth is, in
video games, there's more diversity of
storytelling. There's more
exciting evolution and
change and ideas and independence
and cool shit happening than there is on
television, than there is in the movies.
Absolutely. I agree.
Don't blame the medium.
But one of my favorite games I've ever played
is our Bioshock and Bioshock Infinite.
Bioshock and Bioshock Infinite are both games
with fantastic story and imagery and ideas.
They both create fascinating worlds.
They have politics and they have something to say.
They're moving and they stick with you
and you remember the places you've been.
They are fantastic games.
And you mow down thousands of people.
And you do, right?
You mow down thousands and thousands of people.
The distance between the height of the story
and the body count, right?
This is the erudite version of a mass appealing game between the height of the story and the body count, right?
This is the erudite version of a mass appealing game,
and it has a body count that makes Rambo look like the shape of water.
It's something worth thinking about.
I think we've...
Just make the Sims have sex and go to bed.
Like, do that.
That sounds like a good-ass evening to me.
I do have to say, though,
in terms of violence
in The Sims,
that's the game
that taught me
it is easier
to drown your neighbors
than ask them to go away.
Let's spin it again.
Alexa! Alexa is going sentient. I don't know if you saw this, but apparently Alexa is breaking out into fits of laughter in people's homes.
And Amazon does not know why.
Fascinating. Fascinating.
Fascinating, the robot world we're building for ourselves.
Wait till your car does it.
Wait till your car keeps driving you to your ex's house
over and over and over again.
Wait till all of a sudden you get in the car
and all the doors lock because you put in Taco Bell
and it drives you to a vegan place.
I really want to quit Amazon.
However, like yesterday I needed a luggage lock and they delivered that shit in like an hour at midnight.
And I was like, God damn it.
I love that.
I love that.
I wanted it.
I didn't realize you had to clean toasters
I needed a new toaster
a day later I had a new fucking toaster
didn't have to go anywhere
I love it
I hate it
I hate that I love it
do you know how heavy those LaCroix
like cases are
if you order
ten of them on Amazon
someone brings them to your door
sometimes you can convince them to leave it in your kitchen
wait, Ira
what are you, you're just opening the door
you're just like, a little bit further
you're coaxing them in
I learned it from a Stormy Daniels video.
Ira coaxes the delivery person in,
gets the LaCroix into the kitchen,
puts them in the fridge and says,
are you thirsty?
You look a little parched.
That shirt's pretty sweaty and we're off to the races.
And I want to end, Lewis,
would you mind if we did a
impromptu Oscars quiz?
Oh, sure.
I've been drinking. We'll see how it goes.
Best actor, 1978.
John Voight, Coming Home.
Do you have the answers?
Okay. I know he's
right. Oh, you're right. I'm probably wrong.
People will check this. Check this, internet.
Best supporting actor, 1999. Best, you're right. I'm probably wrong. People will check this. Check this, internet. Best Supporting Actor, 1999.
Best Supporting Actor, 1999 is Kevin...
No, that's Best Actor.
Best Supporting Actor is...
Sorry.
Hayley Jolosmith.
Last two, Michael Kanan.
Cider House rules.
Sorry.
What's going on when the...
This Alexa's laughing at us.
Sometimes another nominee will come to you,
and then you're like,
who did I watch them lose to and pretend to like it?
Best Picture, 1940.
The second best Hitchcock movie of all time, Rebecca.
You guys like Rebecca? It's one of the best movies ever.
Best Actress, 1971.
My favorite actress, Jane Fonda in Clutes.
In Clutes!onda in Clutes. In Clutes?
Yes. I love Clutes. She also won for Coming Home in 78. She has seven nominations.
She was nominated for They Shoot Horses, Don't They in 1969,
Clute in 1971, Julia in 1977,
Coming Home in 1978,
China Center in 1979,
Golden Pond in 1981,
and The Morning After in 1986.
Let's leave it there.
I want to thank the Keep It Squad
for an awesome Love It or Leave It.
Subscribe to Keep It
wherever you get your podcasts.
Apple, other places,
because it's fantastic.
It's really one of my favorite podcasts.
Give it up for Cara Brown,
Louis Bertel,
Ira Madison III. Thank you
Austin for coming out. Have
a great night.
Straight Shooter
Living or Living It's Love and Living Thank you.