Lovett or Leave It - Dystopian Layer Cake

Episode Date: February 10, 2018

Democrats push for a vote on DACA. Trump loves a parade and a staff secretary with a history of violence. And Omarosa turns Big Brother into Meet the Press. Live from Denver, Jon is joined by Alyssa Mastromonaco, Adam Cayton-Holland, and Ricardo Baca to break down the week’s news and yes to briefly discuss Trump’s hair and the recent revelations pertaining to it. Fine.

Hello, Denver. Denver. How? You guys seem like you're doing well. Thank you for coming out to Love It or Leave It, the late show. We're here at Temple Hoyne Buell Theater. Easy to say, easy to love. Temple Hoyne Buell Theater. Easy to say, easy to love. Temple Hoyne Buell.

Is that one person or three people? It's one person. Are they an ancient benefactor or do they live and walk among us? Ancient. Yes, dead. Temple Hoyne Buell. Does anybody know anything about temple hoinbule anybody is there is there one person in here that knows their city's history don't shout at me you you know oh you first of all you're wearing american flag onesies

hell yeah with the repeal and go bug yourself t-shirt underneath and a straight shooter t-shirt on that side, I mean, MVP so far. And you seem to be confident, but then less so as your hand, as your hand was raised to catch my attention, you were 100% confident. When you succeeded, the hand came down with a kind of

lack of confidence. So I think they don't know anything about Temple. You do know something about Temple Hoyne Buell. One fact. Someone shouted tuberculosis, which isn't a fact. It's a disease. But I'm using context clues to say that it might have been the end

of Temple Hoyne Buell. Sorry, what were you going to say about Temple Hoyne Buell? Your dad used to caddy for Temple Hoyne Buell. And he was a... Look, no one ever came to

Denver and said that Temple Hoyne Buell didn't live. All right? He made the most of every single day. As Temple Hoyne Buell used to say, work hard, play hard. I'm having a cough, and I hope it could... But I think it's probably going to be... Okay. Tickets still available for this Sunday's Pod Save America in Las Vegas.

And if I'm promoting it now, we must have to move some tickets. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why people are choosing Zumanity over us. This is fun, the late show. We have a great show for you tonight. We have Tom Brady, Stormy Jenner, Quentin Tarantino, and it says here, a performance by Prince. All right, let's bring out our panel.

Enough fooling around. We have a great show for you tonight. He's the founder of the company Grasslands and the marijuana columnist at the Daily Beast. Please welcome Ricardo Baca. You've seen him on the show Those Who Can't and on Comedy Central. Please welcome Adam Caton Holland. Thank you. Thank you. And she's the New York Times bestselling author of

Who Thought This Was a Good Idea? And a crooked contributor you want to see more than me. Please welcome Alyssa Mastromonaco. I feel like a model. Am I a model? You should. I have to say, there are many joys of the live show, but Alyssa being an unadulterated, beloved star

is one of my favorite parts. Love you. You too. Who's the funniest, thinnest person I know? I'll probably leave it in. May I just say their reaction to you

was the ego check I needed going into this. I appreciate that. Put Adam in place. Adam, did you accept your high school diploma on this stage?

I just realized backstage. I was like, I think I graduated in this room. And yeah. That's cool. Just a shout out to the Angels, class of 98, everybody. Yeah. A couple of them. Sure.

Great. Yeah. That's exciting. It's his, he's coming home, you know. Prodigal son returns. They said I wouldn't amount to shit. Did you have a bully? No, no.

Were you a bully? No, I was just kind of existed between the cracks. Just funny enough to escape notice. That's cool, that's cool. I was not. You guys want to know what the inside of a blue recycling bin feels like? You don't?

Alright The worst part is They convinced me to get in That's the hardest part to get over Are you green or not? Commit to the cause It's terrible Okay Let's get into it What a week Are you green or not? Commit to the cause. It's terrible.

Okay, let's get into it. What a week. From Trump accusing Democrats of treason, to his demand for a military parade, to the Dow dropping thousands of points, There's been a lot of news. But the big news right now, as we record this on Thursday night, is the government is on the road to at least a temporary shutdown. Again, we don't know how long this one will last. It could be very short. It could be longer. Look, just always the caveat

that the government shutting down is always treated as a political game, but it's very serious. And as Democrats, we care about what the government does. We care about the service it provides for people. Can I tell people what I did during the government shutdown? Yes. Alyssa, what did you do during the government shutdown? One of the most important things I did in 2013 during the government shutdown was that I wrote the scripts for the White House operators, and I changed the garbage.

That's really interesting. So the Trump administration changed the scripts in the last shutdown to say these Democratic fuckers are trying to stop you from getting your Medicare. Illegal. You can't. What they said was so, they said due to the Schumer shutdown or some shit like that,

you're not going to get anything because of the Democrats. Ours was like, hello, you're not going to get anything because of the Democrats. Ours was like, hello, we're very sorry we're unable to take your call due to a lack of government funding. That's really what it said. Just want to understand the different game that Democrats and Republicans have been playing. Alyssa's like, we've got to get people the information so they understand what's going on during this shutdown. I'm worried I'm just a pussy.

In hindsight. In hindsight. In hindsight. I'm curious if like the government is shut down and you're in the White House, are you still working or is it like a snow day in Denver? No. So it's a snow day for people who get furloughed. But the most senior people in the government work without pay. Though you get the pay on the back end. It's not like that dramatic.

But no, there are only like, you know, 10 of us and everybody's answering their own phone and like taking turns in the West Wing welcoming people. It's like, it's kind of nice. Okay, not the message. Not for America, not for America. For America, it's terrible.

I'm not making light of it like that stupid Mick Mulvaney who's like, it's so neat I shut down the government, you fucking asshole. So what led us here? So a few weeks back, the government shut down because Republicans broke their promise to protect the Dreamers and DACA recipients.

Trump started negotiating a deal, but then Stephen Miller put the kibosh on it. And, you know, we all saw what happened there. Cut to this week. And both sides are desperate to avoid another shutdown. No one wants to see a shutdown, except for Donald Trump, who went on camera and said, I'd love to see a shutdown. That was the same day Trump's chief of staff, John Kelly,

said that some immigrants were, quote, too lazy to get off their asses and sign up for DACA, an application process that costs $500 and require them to submit identifying information to the government without guarantee of safety from deportation. But on Wednesday, Mitch McConnell and Chuck Schumer announced a deal that will fund the government for two years. Here's what's in the deal. Big increases for defense spending, an extension of CHIP for four years, six billion for the opioid crisis, relief aid for Puerto Rico, and more. One thing it does not include, however,

is protection for DREAMers. Boo. So yesterday, the drama moved to the House, where Nancy Pelosi stood for more than seven hours speaking about DREAMers, asking for the same promise from Paul Ryan that Mitch McConnell gave to Senate Democrats on this issue, which is to give us an up or down vote on the DREAM Act,

which is something that a majority of the House and a majority, a super majority in the Senate supports that would pass the moment Paul Ryan agreed to bring it up for a vote. For the first time, Democrats have leveraged. The House Freedom Caucus, Paul Ryan's most right wing members don't like this bipartisan bill, and Paul Ryan needs Democrats to pass it. So everyone was ready to turn their attention to the House, but Rand Paul refused to vote yes.

Right when McConnell was ready to bring the bipartisan deal to the floor for a vote, Rand Paul stood up and started to essentially filibuster the vote. Says here, leave it to a man to take a woman's idea. And love it, he was not wearing foreign heels. He was not. He has not

worn foreign heels since his frat house days. So Rand Paul argued that the United States must withdraw troops from Afghanistan. He switched to a collection of colorful signs. One said, school lunch programs feeding lawns not kids. Another

called the D.C. streetcar system a streetcar named Waste. He has a point on that one. That streetcar thing is a real boondoggle. When they were building it, I was riding my bicycle down 8th Street, and I caught one of the little rails at an angle, and the bike said,

I'm good here. And Sir Isaac Newton said, how'd you like to see what that sidewalk tastes like? So, gonna have to say, straight shooter with them on the streetcar. But the larger point, I mean, I went right over the handlebars for a streetcar. What's wrong with a bus?

Nothing. They had good buses. I'm just saying streetcar is just a bus where they dig up the road for five years first, you know, just saying. They dig up the road for five years first, you know? Just saying. So the Senate was forced to recess until 12.01 a.m. Friday, which means the government will shut down, but we don't know how long it will take.

Here's one thing that's a little different than the last time, you know, when they shut down for like 30 hours, whatever it was, is that like tomorrow's a work day, so it actually will, like unless they come back in at like 3 in the morning, but it may actually be shut down tomorrow. Not like last time when it was a Saturday. Right, they opened it back up on a Monday. They made it till a workday lunch on the shutdown front. Alyssa, given what's happening with Rand Paul in the Senate, Nancy Pelosi standing up for Dreamers in the House, if we end up with a shutdown, it looks like we will at the very least have a short shutdown, who do you think will get the blame?

Who do you think deserves the blame? Good grief. Well, I mean, it's all, like, Republicans control everything, so it's, like, shame on the Democrats if they don't take advantage of it. I mean, they should. What do you mean take advantage? Well, okay, I'm going to get like really controversial for a minute. But the last time they shut the government down, they

should have kept it shut down. They should have sent the Republicans off the cliff. It was already shut down. If we had had a bit of a more coordinated strategy, they could have felt the pain, but they didn't feel the pain. So we shut it down. We opened it back up. And now America thinks that it's all so stupid. No one's even paying attention. It's like I stopped and was watching Rand Paul speak and was captivated by his hair and hypocrisy. But, you know, I don't know. I think that the Republicans will, you know, Donald Trump will take to Twitter. He'll blame Schumer's shutdown. They'll go back and forth. Dreamers will still, you know, lose protection day by day. And, you know, we've got to do better.

Well, they have to. I think we're doing okay. I honestly think it's as stupid as a freaking hashtag. It was like a Schumer shutdown. That just gets into the public consciousness. They're like, oh, it was Schumer's fault. Like, are the Democrats not smart enough to just be like, a Trump timeout? And we're like, oh yeah, it was Trump's fault. Trump timeout would have been good.

Trump timeout. More alliteration on Twitter. It's really alliteration. It's the race to that. Adam, I think you should move to D.C. Rand Paul, pause. This shit's easy. It's...

Done. Is shit's easy. It's done. Is that? Look. Could it be beginner's luck? Sure. But he's two for two. Adam is two for two. It's outside the beltway thinking.

Ricardo, there's been this question about whether Democrats have the stomach to do what's right here, whether or not they actually. And then on the other side, there have been people who said, what's your plan for a shutdown? You don't control government. You can't decide when it reopens. Do you feel, observing this, that you feel like Democrats have put the right amount of fight into it? Do you think they're fighting hard enough? Do you think that they're giving up too easily? What do you think? I think the last shutdown, I was just really disappointed when it ended. It seemed so anticlimactic. And of course, we're not rooting against our federal employees not getting paid,

and we're not rooting for that. But I couldn't be more with Alyssa, you know, from our very outside the Beltway perspective here in Denver. I was just kind of disappointed it ended with a whimper. And now I'm concerned where this one's going. What did you make of Nancy Pelosi standing there for seven hours? It was a stunt, but stunts reach people, stunts break through. Did you like it? Did you appreciate it?

Did you think if it's not backed up? What do you think? You know, I thought it was fascinating, especially because she has a pretty low approval rating right now, right? And I was glad to hear in the previous recording, Pod Save America, you guys giving her credit where it's due. But I think what I'm particularly excited about is Alyssa's going to give a word-for-word reenactment of that eight-hour speech tonight, right? We're pretty jazzed about that.

If only I could fit into her heels or her suit. Good for her. Good for Nancy Pelosi. That's the bottom line. Seriously. I love Nancy Pelosi. I really do. She got health care through.

She got a climate bill through. She got the Wall Street bill through. She got student loans through. She got Lily Ledbetter through. And her favorite food is chocolate who doesn't respect the hell out of that eating chocolate in a white suit she's like better than oprah and she got that and she got that climate bill through which um was it didn't end up becoming law because of what happened in the Senate. But she got a lot of people to go out on a limb to pass a climate change bill through the House.

And I think Nancy Pelosi fundamentally doesn't get treated the way she deserves because she's a woman. I mean, I think. Because she's a woman and she's been doing it so long. Yeah. So why the low approval rating then for Pelosi? Because they turned her into a villain for the last 15 years. And because it's easier to turn a woman into a villain than it is to turn a man into one. And to make her shrill.

Yeah. I don't think it's that complicated. Ricardo, before we move on, you are the marijuana columnist for the Daily Beast. How are you on your deadlines? Surprisingly good, yeah. I'm a lifelong journalist for more than 20 years, so I'm used to life on deadline. But I used to write for the Denver Post here locally for more than 15 years. And shout out to all my former colleagues over there holding strong in the face of adversity

and bullshit hedge fund ownership. Amen. But yeah, and props to the Denver Post too for creating an actual marijuana beat. They let me pick it up and run with it and make it my own. And we launched a website called The Cannabis, which is still producing really quality journalism.

And that's what we need more in this space. I mean, we have a brand new regulated substance in the world. We need journalists covering it and testing it and making sure it's clean and as potent as that too. I think journalists have been testing it for many, many years prior

to that too. Ricardo thinks marijuana's ready for human trials. I feel good about it. Okay, we'll leave it there. When we come back, a new game. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back.

Now for a game we call Kellyanne Jeopardy. Someone just shouted, she's a horrible person. No, no, they said, what is a horrible person? Good catch. Oh, I missed it. Correctly phrased. Correctly phrased. Thank you.

Thank you for putting that in the form of a question, which is a perfect segue for this game. As we've discussed, one quality that used to serve as a kind of political defense mechanism was human shame. It meant that even if you could get away with a lie or avoid answering a question or an act of hypocrisy, even if you weren't sure there'd be any negative consequences in your political job, you still felt weird, you know, in your system. Dodging a question felt bad. But if you could crunch that part of yourself into something small enough to get it out of your body, you were free.

And Kellyanne Conway is truly free. And so we will now play Kellyanne Conway, Jeopardy. This is Submit, Believe It. I know. Here's how the game works. We'll play a clip of a real answer that Kellyanne Conway has given on television. And it will be your job to guess

what question she was asked. Because this is such a hard quiz, we will be going to someone who is not in merch. Would anybody who is not in merch like to play the game? Think very carefully. You're in merch. I see it says Friend of the Pod on your body. Hi, what's your name?

Eric. Eric. Are you ready to play the game? Absolutely. Let's roll the first clip. Let's talk about, let's, no, okay, well, let's talk about telling the truth. Let's talk about a president looking Americans in the eye who are still suffering eight years later, who were lied to.

If you like your plan, you can keep your plan. If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor. Benghazi happened because of a video. Go tell the families of those four innocent Americans who were slaughtered in Benghazi. Eric, I need the question. Too slow, Eric. The question was, why did the White House not tell the truth about President Trump helping to write a memo on Don Jr.'s Russia contacts.

Eric, 0 for 1. Not wearing branded shirts. Let's see if he fares better on clip number two. You know what's a problem for this nation? That you refuse. CNN used to be a place where people can tune in and get the news all day long. Now they get spin in people's opinions. And I think CNN should own it. Brian, why not just say, look, it's in our commercial interest at CNN to be anti-Trump. We're profitable if we're against the president. Most of our viewers are against the president. Just own it. Don't you think that would be more credible for CNN? I understand that you don't want an adversarial media. You all, I guess you just want everybody to be like Fox News. No, that's not true.

Stop being so jealous of Fox News, Brian. Eric, what was the question? Why does Trump call CNN fake news? Incorrect. The question was, is it a problem for the nation that the president's approval ratings are shockingly low? 0 and 2. Let's see clip number 3. You're 0 for 2.

Maybe things will look up here. No, no. Look, that's exactly what I'm saying to you, George, that the toxicity both way coming to the president is terrible. And, you know, this is what's going on. The idea that the media are covering, large parts of the media anyway, are covering personal insults about the president, this invective and really denying America's women their rightful knowledge on what he's doing for them on taxes. Kelly, is you... Wow. Wow.

So, Eric, the toxicity facing Donald Trump, what he's doing for women. Eric, what was the question? Eric, Eric, why are you laughing? You look ridiculous. The people here, they don't even know if you follow politics. What's the question, Eric? Can you turn anything into blithering bullshit? No, wrong.

Are the president's tweets setting a terrible example? But I appreciated the guess, Eric. You brought some heart into that one, and, you know, you're the Rudy of this game if Rudy lost. Final clip, chance to redeem yourself. Here's the answer from Kellyanne. Chuck, do you think it's a fact or not that millions of people have lost their plans or health insurance and their doctors under President Obama? Do you think it's a fact that everything we heard from these women yesterday

happened on the watch of Barack Obama? He was president for eight years. Donald Trump's been here for about eight hours. Do you think it's a fact that millions of women, 16.1 million women, as they stand here before you today, are in poverty along with their kids? So, wait, there's people whispering. They're kind of being aware of it. What do you think the question was?

Eric, now keep in mind she often uses the answer. Yes. The question and the answer. What do you think? What do you think of the fact that Donald Trump's inauguration crowd size wasn't as big as he said it was? So, I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. Because the question was actually, wait a minute, alternative facts? So, but the alternative facts were about the crowd size.

I'm checking with Trebek's judges. And we're giving it to you. Eric, you lost. But you're a fan favorite. People rooted for you. They saw what you were up against. You know, you were like the first team to lose to the USA basketball team at the Olympics, you know?

So you've gotten the parachute gift card. Give it up for Eric. That's Kellyanne Conway Jeopardy. When we come back, OK Stop. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Now for a game we call OK Stop. Here's how it works. We roll a clip and then we pause it by saying OK Stop to talk about it. I don't know if you heard, but the president is a former reality

TV star and he brought aboard Omarosa Menigal, who was also a reality TV star, and she left the White House and is now on Celebrity Big Brother. Of course. Of course. I have to say, this clip is among the most chilling artifacts of this era. Because, and it's on many levels, it's deeply, deeply dystopian. On many levels, it's deeply, deeply dystopian. Here is one of the first clips of Omarosa on Celebrity Big Brother.

Let's roll it. And from the outside, can I tell you as a voter, a citizen, I never got it. Why you went to the White House with him. I felt like it was like a call to duty. I felt like I was serving my country. Okay, stop. Why the fuck is she whispering? She's got a microphone on. Everybody knows what she did.

I mean, she might as well just like speak in a normal talking voice I don't know why they're whispering I also just want to flag that she is in conversation with some sort of very sweet seeming gay person So that is the other he's from he's the red carpet Correspondent he originally the reason I know him is he started out on the on on Leno, right? Like like 15 years ago. He was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on the I was like a man on the street, right? Like 15 years ago, he was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno as like a man on the street, right? And now he's here.

Big brother. They know more about him, but I don't care what they say. I think it's so amazing that they're beneath blankets and throw pillows on couches. I feel you pan out. This is like in an actual

Bed, Bath & Beyond, right? Now they're just like walking around them as they film this. She is lounging. So, so far she said she had a duty to the country. That's why she went in. All right, let's continue.

Whenever was it accepting a political appointment? It was always about the country. Like I was haunted by tweets the whole day. Like what is he going to tweet next? Does anybody say to him, what are you doing? Okay, stop. Again, these are the layers. So first of all, Big Brother is using Big Brother drama music

underneath a person saying that the President of the United States is unfit for the job. And it's the same music that follows a bad date on The Bachelor. Do you think she didn't get a book deal? Do you think that's why she's there? I mean, she's telling the whole story. Like, this is like pretty low rent. Look, I think one thing we can be sure about is whatever the dollar figure she's heading towards, she's doing her best to

get there. If she's saying it, she definitely didn't forget that she wants to make money on a book. This is her dematerial, for sure. Her agent's like, it's a lateral move, but it's going to get us to Bachelorette eventually. Be that person, and then all of the people around him attacked me.

Okay, stop. You have to wonder, if you're on a couch cuddling with Omarosa, what are you going to ask her? I think there's actually something really interesting about that last question. It's like, did somebody ever tell him to stop? I mean, what do you ask Omarosa if you're on the couch with her? So many women told him to stop.

I also, I also just, that this guy, who from E! and Leno and other places, is now on this couch sitting with Omarosa and like this used to be the kind of thing where the conversation on that couch with the exact same tone with the exact same music was like Marcy's being a real nasty person to me

and the thing is like that's okay because like we are going to work together to murder Marcy and get her out of the house. I don't know the rules. But here's the thing. Like on the challenge yesterday, didn't you feel like Eric was giving me like a real look?

And it's like, what is that about? Like I was nothing but nice to him. But instead it's like, I think we're in the middle of like a stage one international crisis. I'm very worried about what's going on in the National Security Council. I think there's deeper structural problems in the way the organization of the government is being run. Don't give her access. Don't let her talk to him. It's like, And Vodka's there, Jared's there. And it's... Who has that power to say what's going on?

Okay, stop. Okay. We're just going to give him a pass because he didn't know he was doing Meet the Press on Big Brother. But his question was, who has the power to say what's going on? And I'm sympathetic because...

He's talking to her a little bit like a porn director. Do you know what I mean? Like, you can tell me. It's okay. It's a safe space. It's not. It's Big Brother. You described that as a universal experience.

Like, oh, that's exactly what it reminded me of, too. Whatever. I mean, I see what I see. I'm not there. It's not my circus, not my monkeys. You know, I like to say not my problem, but I can't say that because it's bad. Okay, stop. Again, like, these are the layers of how chilling this video is so

top layer this is i don't know how to go for i don't know what's the top or the bottom i don't know how we layered this trifle but but um but layer layer this is a former senior white house official caught on camera saying how fearful she is about the current state of the White House and the president, Donald Trump, the most powerful human being in the world, right? That's a deeply frightening statement that she's making. That's number one. Number two, she's doing it on a reality television show. And the reason we have access to this clip is it's part of the promotional package that CBS is pushing out to get people excited for Big Brother. I mean, if she really were concerned, wouldn't she have told like Justin Trudeau or something?

Right. Be like, 911, bat signal, Maple Leaf. Be like, 911, bat signal, maple leaf. He's just going to put on a pair of rainbow socks and do something for the cameras. And it's so unironically a dystopia, it's on a show called Fucking Big Brother. How on the nose is all of this? I could see him smash cutting, it's bad.

Just Trump, nuke him, fuck it. Like, it's that bad. And by the way, of course, there is the third layer, which is this person had no business having a high-ranking position at the White House. Absolutely ridiculous. Should we be worried? Okay, stop.

Again, hard to be mad at that guy he's so sweet he's clearly not his career is not where he thought it would be and he is in the middle of this conversation he cannot believe he's having it and these are the questions he has and maybe these are the questions people watching at home have. And by the way, I don't know. I don't know. People watch Big Brother. Maybe this is going to reach some people. Now I think that he's done more good than a lot of people. Honestly, this is one of the most important interviews of this era. I'm realizing that as I say it, and I'm not joking. That's the world. This Big Brother interview could be the tipping point. I don't think it is. I can't believe the heartfelt earnestness with which he asked, should we be worried, as if he's not been worried up until this point.

Right. You're a gay man in Trump's America, and Omarosa opposite the couch is the first point you've been worried? A little late to the party, buddy. Don't say that. Because we are worried, but I need you to say no, it's going to be okay. Okay, no, it's going to not be okay. It's not.

So bad. Well, fuck it. Let's get fro-yo. I would like to take this clip and put it at the heart of some kind of museum to this time. But I don't think that there has been a better encapsulation of the silliness and total danger of this era than Omarosa under Big Brother music saying that she fears for the country. And what else is there to say?

Chilling to the core. Under a fur blanket. And that's OK Stop! When we come back, a lightning round. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or leave it coming up and we're back

it is wonderful to be here in colorado uh place where you guys said, fuck it, pot. And everyone was like, is that going to work? And then you guys were like, it's kind of working. And then we said, we're in. Nationally. Also this week, news broke that the Release the Memo hashtag campaign was given a huge boost by Russian bots.

In fact, according to reports, the viral hashtag campaign targeting the FBI and Justice Department represented Russia's first concerted attack against a major U.S. government institution since the 2016 election. And there were other reports this week that these bots may be geared up for future political fights that would help President Trump. Recently, Russia tried to follow up with, released a memo with, political fights that would help President Trump. Recently, Russia tried to follow up with release the memo with hashtag Pfizergate, hashtag Obama

Deep State, and even hashtag the memo reveals the coup. They need a better writer's room over there. Show me the coup. Show me the coup. A streetcar named coup. Sure. These bots are hard to spot. Because once they get going, real people do pick up on the hashtags,

and so you never knew who is real and who is fake. Well, we're here in Denver, so we thought we'd play a game to see if you could tell the difference between the name of a Russian Twitter bot and the name of a weed strain. I see Millie over here, and I would love for Millie, friend of the pod, who those of us who were at the first show met, I would like Millie to play. Millie.

Yes, I'm here. It's so good to see you again. You too. Millie asked us a wonderful question during the first show. How are you? I'm okay. I'm a little nervous. Are you nervous about the game?

I'm nervous that all those people saw me and I hope no one from ICE is here. That's very real. So for those very confused by that comment, Millie, not a real name, is a dreamer. And she told her story during the first show and then followed it up with a very specific question about the Utah 4th. And we're huge fans of Millie,

so I'm glad I wanted to talk to you. You ready to play the game? Yes. Here's how it works. I am going to say a name, and it will be your job to tell us whether it's a bot or pot. So,

Annunciation is also part of the game. Got it. And it's a lightning round so they're gonna come at you pretty quick savage Mary pot bot Bruce banner pot OG DeAndre Pot Pot Presidential OG Definitely pot That is pot Tyler Goodboy Bot Enemy of the state

What was that? We got it, I know what happened Don't worry, the judges Can I check with the judges? They got it Enemy of the state Pot Correct Don't worry, the judges, can I check with the judges? They got it. Okay. Enemy of the State. Pot. Correct.

Mary Green. Pot and bot. It's bot and wrong. Nice try. Jolly Ollie. Pot. Bot. Oh my God.

These pots are not named well. These are hard. Pure Davy. Pot. It's a bot. Jack Herrer. Pot. Charlie Sheen. Trick question.

No. It's pot. Beverly Balsam. No. It's pot. Beverly Balsam. Pot. Pot. Why not? Barry White. Oh, pot for sure.

Correct. Jake White. Pot. Correct. White Russian. Pot. Correct. And finally, Chris Hayes Milly you have won butter pot and

Milly wait Travis come back come backie, thank you so much for coming to the shows tonight. Thank you for telling your story about how hard it's been and the stakes for people because people need to hear from the people whose lives are at stake in this debate, and I'm so glad you're at the show, and it reminds all of us why we care about the Dreamers and doing the right thing, so we're rooting for you.

And keep us, keep talking to us, okay? We're going to talk. Guys, give it up for Millie. When we come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Now for a segment we call the rant wheel.

Here's how it works. We spin the wheel. We rant about the topics on which it lands. This week we have politically despicable Super Bowl ads. We have Quentin Tarantino. We have skipping leg day. We have the very specific mimosa glassware. We have escalator etiquette.

We have Denver as Amazon's headquarters. We have the redemption of Tonya Harding and Washington, D.C. super lobbyist, as he brands himself, Lanny Davis. Let's spin the wheel. Okay, yeah. It has landed on Denver as Amazon's headquarters. Adam, take us away.

So we've made the final list of 20, and I just so resent Amazon's impress us. We want to be X amount from an airport. We want all these amenities. Go to a city that fucking needs you. Denver's thriving right now. And that's great. That's great. And like all of our politicians are like, but we can have more high tech jobs. Like they're not going to hire local. They're going to bring in Silicon Valley people. The city's already overcrowded. It is go to Detroit,

save a city, be welcomed with open arms. And so I'm tweeting at Amazon all the time, Denver doesn't want you, don't come to Denver. Please join me in that effort. Yeah, I won't weigh in on that specific aspect of it, but I do fundamentally have such a problem with cities being forced to sort of prostrate themselves before these companies. There's nothing wrong with a city saying, we want you to come here,

we want you to be here. But when you get to the point where cities are promising so many, so much tax relief and so much free shit to these companies, it's similar to when the stadium competitions happen. And the Olympic bids. And the Olympic bids. And it's similar to what happens now internationally when countries are forced to compete to lower their standards and provide the least as opposed to competing on what you do best, right? And so, you know, I don't want to see American cities competing to get companies by making those companies immune from taxation and not having to pay their fair share when they get there. That may work for the companies, and I understand why each city makes that decision. But on the whole, all the cities lose and they don't have the resources they need to fund the decrepit subways in New York or

whatever other issue is being sort of brought to bear on whether or not Amazon will deign to land its spaceship in your town. Exactly. Very well put. Amazon's almost being like Trump in this regard. I mean, he's throwing out these things like fake news awards. He's making federal politics into a game show. And here is Amazon's game show where it's like, all right, what tax incentives you got, Denver, and who's really winning there?

Yeah. tax incentives you got, Denver, and who's really winning there. Yeah. And, you know, part of it is, like, I don't begrudge Amazon trying to get everything they want out of this system, but it's just not a fair system to the cities that are forced to compete in this way, that's all. Also, just because I always feel like I should be honest with you guys and never want to be a hypocrite,

I had, like, 77 Amazon Prime orders last year, so, I mean, I'm just, you know, I just want to say. Everyone in this room did. I have no dog in the fight, but I don't want to be a hypocrite. I had like 77 Amazon Prime orders last year. So, I mean, I'm just, you know, I just want to say. Everyone in this room did. I have no dog in the fight, but I don't want to, you know. Oh, yeah, none of you are using Amazon. Please. You bought that high horse on Amazon. That high horse you're sitting

on got to your house in two days. Free shipping. Let's spin it again. It has landed on escalator etiquette suggested by Ricardo. You know, America's facing a lot of big issues these days. So, but really my wife and I just got back from three weeks in Southeast Asia and, you know, lots of airports and train stations and bus stations and all the wonderful things that go along with backpacking. But, but goddamn people, we got to learn how to use an escalator. You stand on the right, you walk on the left. If you have a roller bag, it goes behind you on the right, okay? I want to be able to walk by you if I'm late to my plane. It's just, it's a small thing. But really, I think like walking is kind

of an art and you never realized what an art form it is until you traveled in the third world and other countries and escalators can be a total mystery. I think you're right. And I think this raises some other important issues. Look, look, we're all online or in line at Chipotle and other quick-serve restaurants all the time, and we're on our phones. We're on our phones at the Panera Bread. We're on our phone at the Starbucks. We're on our phone at whatever other corporate entity has supplanted the vast majority of local businesses in our cities and towns waiting to buy an okay sandwich,

but we're getting it because we know exactly what it is and that predictability makes us comfortable. Those are the same words spoken by Donald Trump. You know what? Just saying. Think about it. Point is, point is, I am so sick of, hey, hey, you're up, you're up.

Yeah, you ready to order a burrito? She's looking, he's looking at you. You need to order the burrito. Do you want it? We're here to go. We all need to make a deal with ourselves. And the deal is this. When we are next, the phone goes in our pockets,

and we focus like a laser on the person behind the counter, and we wait like a laser on the person behind the counter and we wait very patiently. I am not saying don't use your phone on the line. I'm not a monster. But I am saying the compromise we could make in an age of reason is we say when we're next, literally fucking next, at the airport, at McDonald's, wherever. Phone goes in the pocket, focus like a laser on the next register. Because collectively,

we are throwing, I would say, billions of dollars away in the lost seconds of, hey, hey, hey, there's an open one. I know. Thank you. I know. I wholeheartedly second that, but also

if you're in line on your phone, have the common decency to look up, figure out what your order is. Do not get to the register and be like, oh yeah, what do I want today? You've had 10 minutes in line. Do us all a favor. Be ready when you get that opportunity.

I agree. What is baffling you? It's Chipotle. Do you want it in a tin or do you want it in a car bomb? That's all you've got to decide at the front end. You get to make every other decision along the journey. What do you want? You want your slob in a bowl?

Or you want it wrapped? You want it wrapped in two days' worth of calories? Make the call. What are you gonna do, buddy? You want lettuce on the bottom? Are you gonna sprinkle lettuce on top? It doesn't matter. The lettuce is nothing.

The body doesn't even recognize it. And would you like some of our garbage queso to go along with that? And we're not fans of the queso. Let's spin it again. It has landed on the redemption of Tanya Harding. I don't even know who suggested this. Was this Adam? I suggested it. But I think Alyssa has thoughts too,

so you guys go to town. Well, I think I'm going to betray the audience here. I'm not pro this category whatsoever. I think it's absolute horse shit. And it's very personal for me. My sister was a figure skater. She trained one summer in Cape Cod with a young upstart named Nancy Kerrigan. And we went to the rink, and I watched that thoroughbred horse skate down the ice.

Long legs, huge teeth. I fell in love. I fell in love. My sister, her career ended. Her hips got messed up. She couldn't skate. But what happens? Oh, we all know what happens. That mall figure skater, Tonya Harding, comes out of the blue and takes out Nancy Kerrigan. And now, because I, Tonya, is an awesome movie, she's on the red carpet, everyone's like, she's not so bad. No, she's still bad.

And screw Tonya Harding, pro-Kerrigan all the way. So, I'm not necessarily for the redemption of Tonya, but I have watched a lot of her documentaries. There's one on Netflix that's quite good. And I feel like she might have been friends with me because we're like the same age, sort of. And that like Nancy Kerrigan would have looked down on me and been like, your show's short and round.

But like, really? I love ice skating. And I think that people who love ice skating have like, I was watching it before the show. She was the first woman to land a quad in competition. Yes, absolutely. Though in international competition, it was Midori Ito from South Korea, I'm just saying. Here's the thing.

I also think that they always paint it as Ice Princess Nancy Kerrigan. And she whined and said, why me? And everyone's like, oh, she's a spoiled brat. She was wrong side of the tracks as well. She was like scrapping by. Her parents are trying to like afford figure skating. So everyone's like pitted it as this like rich versus poor. It's like, no, the better athlete got clubbed in the knee

because of Tonya Harding. I mean, like I really can't defend that part. Alyssa, shameful. Shameful to hear you talk this way. I'm not perfect, love it. I was kind of with you, Adam, until I listened to the New York Times podcast, The Daily, like two weeks ago.

And it was a great interview with Tanya Harding in a bar in her hometown of what, like Vancouver, Washington or something. And she won me over there. I think she got a raw fucking deal here's the thing girlfriend has invested in some media training and some better clothes and when she came out and sat there with Margot Robbie I was kind of like you go girl but like not because I want her to be redeemed but because like think of the hubris right that you can

show up and think that, like she seemed a bit verklempt when she was there. She seemed to know the moment that she was in. But I was like, I wouldn't have shown up. I would have been like, you know what? Win your Oscar. Let me know how it goes. But I mean, that was, when I saw that,

I was like, she was like striking poses. I was like, I was at a party for Lena Dunham at a hotel in New York. And I was like, I was at a party for Lena Dunham at a hotel in New York, and I was like, I'm going to skip the red carpet. I feel like it was the equivalent of Omarosa on that Big Brother couch. It's like, what's my next paycheck? Get me in front of my next camera.

She was in the wrestling. Remember she did that weird wrestling show? Okay, we're going to put a pin in this because I honestly had no idea the nuance that would have been required. And I feel undereducated. I'll do my own fact-finding,

and I'll come back on this matter later. Jury out. Tanya Harding, is she redeemed? We don't know. Let's spin it one more time. Would anyone like to shout something for us to talk about? Oh, let's talk about Trump's hair. I heard Trump's hair. I heard John Kelly too.

Fuck John Kelly. How about that, you know? Let's talk about Trump's hair. And the parade. You know what? Yeah, let's kill two birds. But it's interesting, though. They are connected.

You know, we saw this week footage of Donald Trump's hair being blown in the wind, and it revealed more than we expected. Don't laugh. How dare you? It revealed Skeletor. So I think what was shocking about it is I think I was under the assumption that what we were dealing with was something,

the cover-up of something normal. God, this is going to fit very well. I thought what we were dealing with was a traditional Halo, grown long, and also with maybe some plugs or something else. Sweep over the top, sweep over the top, sweep front, go back. Spray, powder, spray, spray, crush another day at the White House. That's what I thought we were dealing with, and I thought he was embarrassed of it.

I thought it was a comb-over that got out of hand, and that became extraordinary, right? It was the Donald Trump of comb-overs, right? Ridiculous and offensive, yet so confident in its declarations that it somehow has gotten away with far more than it ever should have, right? That's what I thought we were dealing with. I thought what we were dealing with was an abnormal show on top of just sort of normal decay. Wrong. What you see in the footage when the wind blows

is something quite vertical. There is no traditional halo. There is a space and then a big area of hair on one side. Fascinating stuff. Fascinating stuff. And it does comport, and I obviously am reluctant to say it, it does comport with the reportage by scumbag Michael Wolff in Fire and Fury, the story of the scumbags he wrote about, which does describe the clean slate through which Trump makes his hair. However, I am now going to say something else,

which is this. I don't begrudge him what he is doing on there. I don't begrudge any man any steps he is taking in the fight against hair loss. I don't mind the plugs, the propiche, the Rogaine, a wig, a weave. You do what you want to do to make your head look the way you want your head to look. That goes for plastic surgery, for anybody. I don't give a shit about Trump's dumb hair. But I will say there is a connection between Donald Trump creating basically a cotton candy every morning,

running his hair around the bowl until it's stiffened with material, until it's stiffened with material. And the fact that he wants an extravagant military parade that serves no function and is just for looks because basically he's been conducting a military parade on his head for the better part of four decades. And I think we have to leave it there. I want to thank our amazing panel.

I want to thank Ricardo Baca, Adam Caton-Holland, and Alyssa Mastermonaco. And thank you, Denver, for coming out to the Late Show. What a fun time. Have a great night.