Lovett or Leave It - Every City has Fresh Bread (Live from San Francisco!)

Episode Date: June 24, 2023

The wonderful Carnie Asada welcomes us to the city by the bay as we kick off the first stop of Lovett Or Leave It: The Errors Tour at San Francisco’s Palace of Fine Arts. Mayor London Breed walks us through the current state of SF. Adam Savage helps us demystify myths both queer and platonic. An old-timey prospector (Chris Fleming) convinces us there’s crypto in them there hills. Emily Van Dyke and Marcus Williams help Lovett find a unicorn, and not the one you think. Unless you’re thinking of the other two meanings as well, in which case… it was the one you’re thinking of. And we close out the show with a spin of the Rant Wheel as Karl the fog starts to creep back in.Special Thanks to the Palace of Fine Arts! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

If you like Love It or Leave It, you should check out, in case you missed it, Slate's podcast about internet culture. It's a show for people who have a healthy relationship with the internet, made by people who really, really don't. It's hosted by Slate's Rachel Hampton and Candice Lim. Twice a week, they explore what's trending at the top of your feeds, investigate the ghosts of internet past, and help you sound like the smartest person in your group chat. Episodes drop every Wednesday and Saturday. Search ICYMI wherever you get your podcasts. That's ICYMI, the podcast that's extremely online so you don't have to be. My dear, sweet child, I'm a winner. That's what I live for.

To help garbage like yourself. Poor trolls with no one else to turn to. Or trolls with no one else to turn to. I admit that in the past I've been a grifter. They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a crook. But you'll find that nowadays I've leaned into my ways. Filled country club bathrooms with the docs I took. Allegedly. And unfortunately I'm running for office.

We'll see if they elect me from a jail. And dear voter, please don't cry when I'm caught in a lie, since I can't help myself and leave a paper trail. Oh, moronic, dumb Republican trolls, stupid and mean. This one longing to hit trans kids. This one wants to ban a book. But who's the worst one? Why, it's me!

Those dumb Republican trolls. When will they learn? Kiss the ring and Mar-a-Lago crying, ban abortions please, and I screw them. Always do. Now it happens all the time. like when I commit a crime. I bring the party farther away from their goals. Yes, I've had the odd complaint, but those dummies can lick my taint.

Fuck those dumb Republican trolls. God, without my pride You'll have your office And that gay side piece on Instagram And don't underestimate The importance of gerrymandering Ah! Voters there want a big elitist They want someone blindly loyal to me

Out there they think it's much more fun When elected, shoot a gun After all, dear, who's a fan of Hillary? Come on, they'd rather pick a fight about CRT and whine about 1619 all day. They bully trans girls in sports and extremists on the courts and they think you can pray the gay away. Come on, dumb Republican trolls. Go ahead, pick a side. I'm a very busy monster and I haven't got all day. It won't cost much, just your pride. You dumb Republican trolls. You're red, they're blue. If you want to get the Senate seats, the elections that they stole.

Take a gulp and take a breath. Listen, come on, you're not Bob Dole. Giuliani, Scaramucci, your boss is on a roll. These dumb Republican trolls. Oh my goodness.

Hi everybody. One more time for Karni Asada. Welcome to Love It or Leave It. In the second best city in the best state in the country. Honestly, it was hard to do after you were so nice. Now, come on, all right, you can be the best. This is, of course, the best city. Where else can you nearly get run over by an automated car while carrying a $30 salad?

Where it looks like the sun might come out all the time. That's a cool trick. We have a truly incredible show for you tonight. We have your mayor, London Breed. Adam Savage is here. And he'll do what he does best. Help us bust some myths.

We have a crypto prospector who may or may not have struck gold. Local champs Emily Van Dyke and Marcus Williams face a grueling quiz about unicorns. Plus, the rant wheel spins. And we're going to do live high notes, so think happy thoughts. But first, let's get into it. What a week. But first, let's get into it.

What a week. Hunter Biden has pleaded guilty to charges of misdemeanor tax offenses this week in a deal to stave off more serious felony weapons charges. The prosecutor in this investigation, David Weiss, was appointed by Trump in 2017, and while the Biden administration asked almost all Trump-appointed U.S. attorneys to step down, as new presidents do, they specifically asked Weiss to stay on because he was already investigating Hunter Biden, and removing him might have looked political. President Biden also didn't want to send the wrong message to Hunter, growing boys need boundaries. Just so we're clear, a Trump-appointed prosecutor was asked to stay at his job and continue to investigate the president's son with total independence, and it worked. Republicans calmly accepted the outcome, and everyone shook

hands and went out for a collegial steak dinner. Oh, God, I'm sorry. Merrick Garland and I were sexting about his sexual fantasies. Not sure how that got in there. No, no, the plea did not stop a backlash. Said Oversight Committee Chair James Comer on Tuesday, we will not rest until the full extent of President Biden's involvement in the family's schemes are revealed. It's an unsettling promise. You don't want to see Comer without his beauty sleeve. None of us know what he looks like. He'll be here right now.

Meanwhile, West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin still hasn't ruled out a third-party run for president, and his Democratic colleagues are now actively trying to talk him out of it. To Joe Manchin's Democratic colleagues, there's no such thing as a bad idea here. We need to throw everything we can at this. $300 gift card to Topgolf, see if he takes to it. Maybe he'll like Fortnite.

Gotta see what sticks. When asked about Manchin's potential run, Senator John Hickenlooper told reporters, I have advised him against it. I think it would be a terrible idea. It would help Donald Trump. But what if I convince myself it won't do that, said Manchin, as he played with one of those bead mazes you see

in a pediatrician's waiting room. Remember those? What would you see in a pediatrician's waiting room? Remember those? What would you have Googled? I didn't start at bead maze. Think about it. What is that? I said bead maze, now that's what you think it is. But if you didn't hear bead maze, what the fuck is that? I think I started metal wires for kids.

In other 2024 news, the New York Times reported Thursday that Florida Senator Rick Scott is also considering a presidential campaign. When asked, yeah. No, I know, do it, please. The absolute worst. But when Scott was asked about it, he told reporters, I've been clear, I'm. Do it, please. You're the absolute worst. But when Scott was asked about it, he told reporters, I've been clear, I'm running for Senate. In fact, we have a clip of that. For those listening at home, it's one of those little lizards that runs across the water.

Come on, Rick Scott. Tim Scott's already in the race. You'll get to be known as the Scott who fucks for the first and only time in your whole life. Former Texas Congressman Will Hurd, who's been openly critical of Donald Trump, has also inexplicably announced that he's running for the GOP nomination. You cannot run against Donald Trump

when your name rhymes with turd. This is a suicide mission. According to a new ProPublica story, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito went on a 2008 luxury fishing vacation with GOP mega-donor Paul Singer, whose hedge fund had business before the court at least ten times in the years that followed. Alito never disclosed it, never recused himself. Alito fishy, if you ask me. Thanks, everybody. Thanks for coming out.

Conservative justices are just out here living what can only be described as a make-a-wish-kid lifestyle. Singer reportedly flew Alito out to Alaska on a private jet. The trip would have cost at least $100,000 if he'd charted the jet himself. Alito didn't answer reporters' questions directly, but responded to the story with his own op-ed in the Wall Street Journal. It's very defensive.

You have to know that Alito has just been watching all this Clarence Thomas news trickle out, looking over at a photo of himself holding a big old salmon, just freaking the fuck out. Alito, this is actually from his op-ed. I stayed for three nights in a modest one-room unit at the King Salmon Lodge, which was a comfortable

but rustic facility. As I recall, the meals were home-style fare. I cannot recall whether the group at the lodge, about 20 people, was served wine, but if there was wine, it was certainly not wine that cost $1,000. Yes. I accepted a gift from a billionaire

with business for the court, but let me be clear. It fucking sucked. Continue to let it go. The complimentary diamonds were cloudy and brown. I cannot recall... I cannot recall if we were invited to hunt the locals for sport, but if there was local hunting,

the helicopter we used was nothing close to state-of-the-art. In the wake of this story, Senate Judiciary Chairman Dick Durbin announced that his committee will consider a bill on Supreme Court ethics after the 4th of July. What, said Clarence Thomas, stuffing Learjet shrimp into his pockets? Kevin McCarthy lost control of the floor this week following a vote to censure Adam Schiff, with lawmakers chanting shame at the House Speaker.

On this vote, the ayes are 213 and the nays are 209. With six answering present, the resolution adopted. Without objection, the motion to consider is relayed on the table. House will be in order. Look, the chant was a nice idea, but it just made McCarthy come faster. The chant was a nice idea, but it just made McCarthy come faster. Why did you think you came here? On Wednesday, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer unveiled his vision for regulating AI,

declaring Congress must join the AI revolution. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection, though, Schumer appeared to have seven fingers on his right hand and way too many tits. A new bill was passed in New York this week, one that is intended to legally protect doctors who prescribe and send abortion pills to patients in other states. The bill specifies... If you can prescribe them here, you can prescribe them anywhere.

Also this week, a federal judge struck down Arkansas' ban on gender-affirming care as unconstitutional. So, this is not a drill, people. We need to find a transgender billionaire to take Alito and Thomas on the vacation of their fucking lives. TikTok. Gotta be someone in this city. I just want to pause and say that we can now announce that our

Fuck Bans Leave Queer Kids Alone Fund, which has been raising money for organizations fighting bans on gender-affirming care and supporting organizations on the ground that are providing direct resources to trans people, surpassed $100,000. Twice our original pride goal. We're sending money to the Campaign for Southern Equality,

the Transgender Law Center, and the Trans Justice Funding Project, which is also where a portion of Love It or Leave It error stores tickets all go, as well as a portion of all the merch. We've had over 1,500 contributions going to these organizations and others in Florida, Missouri, Kentucky, and Tennessee, who are taking the fight right to the right-wing goons attacking LGBTQ rights.

So if you are hearing this, you can join in at votesaveamerica.com slash fuck bands. The Federal Trade Commission sued Amazon on Wednesday, alleging that the company tricked millions of consumers into signing up for Amazon Prime and then sabotaged their attempts to cancel. Wow, yeah, that sucks. I hope the consumers are okay, said a dehydrated Amazon driver pissing into a Gatorade bottle at 60 miles an hour.

A deep- sea submersible with five people... Listen, just chill the fuck out. Chill the fuck out. Of course I'm going to do it. Do you ever understand the conversations we've had to have today about this? What can we say? What are we allowed to do?

What's too glib? What's right? What's wrong? They died down there, deep in the fucking ocean. How about this? We'll just make a little deal. I'm going to do these jokes. I'll tell you when we're done. Go in knowing that these are the ones we picked from others we felt were beyond the pale.

A deep sea submersible with five people inside went missing during a dive to the wreckage of the Titanic on Sunday. The stepson of one of the missing passengers attended a Blink-182 show during the active search, writing on Facebook, it might be distasteful being here, but my family would want me to be at the Blink-182 show, as it's my favorite band and music helps me in difficult times. What did you want him to say when he heard the news? Say it ain't so, I will not go? Unfortunately, on Thursday, the Coast Guard said in a tweet that a debris field had been found in the search area,

and Ocean Gate said in a statement that they now believe the passengers of the submersible had sadly been lost. I don't want to say I told you so, but there's a reason sea shanties aren't about how chill the ocean is. They don't call them widow's walks because your abandoned wife just wanted to get her steps in.

Silver lining here, they probably died instantly and never saw all of your fucked up tweets. And I think this has been an educational experience for everyone. As someone with a platform, it makes me want to be extra sensitive in situations like this because I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how much people would clown on me if I had died in my Tesla. And obviously this whole thing has been completely horrifying,

but at least I'll have the kinks smoothed out for my trip next month. Everyone has their hands just around their face. In a midnight tweet on Wednesday that has Ambien written all over it, Twitter owner Elon Musk, he declared that the words cis and cisgender will henceforth be considered slurs on Twitter.com. According to Elon, additional slurs will include dad and please pick up your children need you. Musk also joked this week that he would physically fight Mark Zuckerberg in a cage match,

after which the Facebook founder posted the tweet with his response, send me location, which is adorable because he already has it. Musk then replied, Vegas octagon. Never in my life have I wanted to smell a room less. Think about how much of a fucking prick you have to be to have a physical fight with Mark Zuckerberg and everybody roots for Mark Zuckerberg.

That is unbelievable. That is a brand. That stinks. Meanwhile, Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert went rogue this week and launched another doomed effort to impeach President Biden using a procedural tactic that will force a House vote. Republican leaders urged members to table the resolution during closed-door meetings on Wednesday.

Multiple sources confirmed to reporters that Marjorie Taylor Greene called Boebert a little bitch on the House floor on Wednesday, multiple sources confirmed to reporters that Marjorie Taylor Greene called Boebert a little bitch on the House floor on Wednesday. And Greene confirmed it. She said, I've donated to you, I've defended you, but you've been nothing but a little bitch to me, and you copied my articles

of impeachment after I asked you to co-sponsor them. And I just had an idea for an opening event before the Zuck-Musk fight. And finally, India's Prime Minister Narendra Modi spoke at a group yoga session for diplomats at the UN on Wednesday before joining in himself. An amazing sight. People from nations all across the globe in harmony desperately trying to hold in their farts that was the last joke when we come back your mayor is here

when producer Brian told me London was calling, I said, but what do you mean? We're going to San Francisco. Once the bit wore thin. We were excited to welcome her back to the show. Please welcome to the stage your mayor, London Breed. Hi. Hello. I love this suit. Thank you.

I wanted to bring some brightness to the room because it's Pride in San Francisco because it's Pride in San Francisco. It is Pride in San Francisco. I'm going to see what that's like tomorrow. I hope I make it. Don't make the rookie mistake of staying up too late tonight and even Friday and then not being able to pace yourself and get through the whole weekend so that you can make it in time for the parade.

That's really good advice. I actually really want to talk to you about housing. It seems to be so central to so many issues. And California seems to be an extreme version of what's happening in the country and San Francisco, an extreme version of what's happening in California. So according to California State Housing Agency, San Francisco has the longest timelines in the state for getting housing projects into construction, among the highest housing and construction costs in the whole world. And that agency receives more complaints about San Francisco than any other jurisdiction.

Because of a state mandate, San Francisco has to build 82,000 new units of housing in eight years. You just proposed a bill to stop requiring people to go in front of the city planning commission over and over again, among other changes to speed up construction. Can you talk a little bit about what the reforms would do and your confidence in hitting that number, that 82,000? Well, first of all, the best thing that has happened to San Francisco is the housing element, which requires us under state law to build 82,000 units in the next eight years. Because what that means is if we don't move as quickly as we possibly can, then we jeopardize

possible state funding for so many of our affordable housing projects here locally. And so finally, we do have a legislative body here, which is our board of supervisors that are working with us to move forward the kind of legislation necessary to get out of the way of housing production. I mean, the fact that we have a density bonus required by the state, but we have a process that you have to go through to have a hearing for the density bonus, even though by state law there's nothing we can do about it locally, is ridiculous. So my plan is to be as aggressive as possible to get rid of all of the bureaucracy that makes it difficult to build housing in San Francisco.

And we've got to get there. And I'm excited about some of the things that we're doing together to get there. And we got to get there. And I'm excited about some of the things that we're doing together to get there. So you see a lot of arguments and blame around empty stores and commercial districts, drugs on the street, crime, unhoused people in crisis, rents that force people to leave town. And everyone seems to at least use words that acknowledge that the city's in a housing emergency. But then the Board of Supervisors rejects a basically 500-unit building

that was in a Nordstrom parking lot. It took almost two years to get that back to yes. Hundreds of small apartments were rejected on O'Farrell Street. Supervisors rejected a 157-unit Mission District development, worrying about displacement. But, of course, lack of housing drives up costs, which caused displacement. The Planning Commission rejected a 57-unit building that was also going to be built on a parking lot. The Board rejected a 63-unit building near a park. It wasn't that tall, but they had shadow concerns. There have been some changes in the board. You just mentioned the pressure coming from the state. Do you feel

like other leaders in the city treat the housing crisis with the seriousness it deserves? I think that sometimes there are some members, not all of the members of the board, that speak out of both sides of their mouth. They say, we need housing, we need more affordable housing, we need more, and then exactly what you said. I mean, we could list a whole other dozen of projects that have not been approved. There is a project in Park Merced, which would provide thousands of units that was approved way before I was even on the board of supervisors when I served. We have over 50,000 units that have already been approved to develop in San Francisco. And the fact is, a lot of obstruction happens because of exactly the kinds of reasons that you're talking about that are so

minor and get in the way. And again, this goes back to now the state is really being more aggressive and expecting us to do better around our housing policies. And if we don't move as aggressively as we can to change some of these exact things, CEQA and all of these different regulations, then we are going to not only lose dollars, but we're going to stop housing production overall in San Francisco, which could become increasingly more expensive than it already is. You mentioned a bunch of buildings were approved, but it seems like it's after pressure came down from the state. And just my, as an outsider looking at this, it seems a lot like what the state is doing is coming in and telling the supervisors to quit fucking around. Pretty much. And what's cool about that, I'll tell you,

I'm loving it because they are even writing letters. This has never come from the California Department of Housing and Community Development. They've never been this aggressive when I'm introducing legislation saying you need to pass this, you need to move faster. We can't keep delaying. There's so many excuses as to, well, why would this do this? And how would this do this? For example, recently I introduced

legislation because I want to be able to convert offices to housing easily. And one of the things that is required under our housing laws is open space and that sort of thing. And in many of our office buildings, the ability to do that is not even possible. So why are we going through a conditional use process for six months to even have a conversation about it? So I am trying to just really get rid of all of this bureaucracy and my hope. And people are starting to now pay attention. democracy and my hope, and people are starting to now pay attention. We have these movements around housing, like Yimby and housing hacks, something. They have all these different acronyms, but these are a lot of housing advocates that are just really going hard because the next generation of San Franciscans, they're growing up and they're saying, well, what about us? Where

are we going to live? How are we going to afford to purchase a home in San Francisco? What about our kids? The city has to do better around housing production and our transit corridors and other parts. And I think we're at a place where we can finally do it, especially, unfortunately, because of the state pushing us in that direction. So you were asked recently about the city becoming affordable for artists and musicians again, asked that by the Times. And actually, it was striking that you didn't feel like you could say yes, that you said it's a hard one, something like that, and said hopefully if we build these 82,000 units, maybe. In a state run by Democrats top to bottom, why do you feel like you can't just say yes to that question? We will make this city affordable for everybody. Like, what stops you from being able

to make that promise? What stops me is the reality of how San Francisco works and the bureaucracy. It doesn't stop me from trying because I have tried to bring a ballot measure to voters at least on almost four occasions. And the last time there was a competing measure and they both failed. But the fact is it doesn't stop us from trying. There are all these different laws and restrictions. These things have happened over time. They developed over time.

It wasn't as if all of a sudden one day it was impossible to build housing. It just layers of layers, years and years of laws that need to be addressed because someone thought, oh, we need to make sure commercial space is at the bottom. Oh, we should make sure this many units of two bedrooms and three bedrooms. We should make sure this happens and that happens. So eventually all of this stuff is completely out of control.

So as much as I want to say, yes, take over the whole city, wherever there is a place to build housing, Yes, take over the whole city. Wherever there is a place to build housing, like I did with my cars to Casa's legislation, where we can completely, like in old parking lots and gas stations, without needing to go to get a conditional use and rezone the space, we can actually move forward in the building process. It is so complicated. It takes so much time, and it's not that simple.

So I don't want to go out there and say, yes, we're going to make San Francisco completely affordable. And then it's like two years later, three years later, four years later. Well, I mean, I've been trying to make housing affordable in San Francisco and trying to push us in that direction. But I do think that, as I said, this is coming to light to the public differently, and people are not going for it anymore. And I think you have to be willing to make the hard decisions around housing to get it done. And I think we're in a better place now than we've ever been before. So you get a fair amount of criticism from the left for some of your policies around policing. You just announced

a new policy around drug arrests. You've got a lot of flack for giving voice to concerns about crime. The critic says that you were stoking fear for political gain. You were asked about it recently. You said, my perspective growing up in San Francisco is a lot different than the perspective of the people who have problems with my approach. I have relationships with a lot of the people who are experiencing challenges every day and suffering with addiction. Addiction is a complicated thing. It requires tough love. It requires force to a certain extent, not tolerance. Can you talk a little bit about what you mean by your approach and what you think progressive critics, many of whom also work closely with the unhoused and people suffering from addiction, what do you think they miss? So I think part of it is it's very complicated. I mean, I did grow up in San Francisco in public

housing during the crack epidemic. I've had family members and friends who suffer from addiction. It was a common occurrence. And I think the difference between then and what exists now is San Francisco has invested tremendously in opportunities and programs and treatment on demand and clinics and behavioral health. And no, we don't have enough to cover the entire city, but we have enough when someone is seeking help or support in any capacity. The likelihood that we can get them help is highly likely,

and we have the resources to do it, and we're making investments. I think the challenge here is, you know, now we're saying, okay, can I help you? And sadly, in some cases, people are refusing that help. In some cases, people do accept the help and we're able to get them into treatment, but in some cases, they are refusing. And then on top of that, there are, you know, and I'll tell you that I can speak to the Tenderloin directly because the people that I mostly have conversations with about what's happening in the Tenderloin actually live there. They have businesses there. And a lot of them are people that I actually grew up with.

And many of them come to me and they're like, London, how the hell is this happening out here? How are we couldn't get away with this when we were growing up? And these are people who are in recovery and who are saying, why are we allowing, it's not just a drug use and the drug sales, it's the violence that has happened as a result of it and wanting to see more happen. And so the reason why I'm approaching it in this way

had everything to do with many of my conversations from people who are actually living in it now. I think that's the big difference because no one came to me and my family and asked me when I lived in public housing what we wanted to see done in our community. And for me, that's where my decisions are coming from. It's not just me in a room with a couple of people saying this is how we're going to do it. It's, well, what do you think we should do? What is happening? How do you feel about that? Well, we grew up in a time, we didn't trust the police. We didn't talk to the police. We didn't engage with the police. So how is it that your stance has changed where now all of a sudden you feel like we need to do something about this? And these are people who, again, have had problems with the police, have had addiction,

have dealt with a lot of challenges. Some of them are in the community trying to help make changes, and they feel like there have been a lot of lines that have been crossed, and we've let people get away with far too much, and they want to see us do something different. They want the police there. They want support. They want change, and they feel like things have gotten completely out of control more than they've ever experienced. So I think that's where I go to for the advice on what to do is if you're living in it, it's a whole nother ballgame. If you can be distant away from it and you see it and you read it in a newspaper, you're

like, oh, San Francisco, what's going on? Somebody needs to do something. But if you don't have to live in it every day, it's completely different. And that's why I'm not afraid to make the decisions I need to make. It's not about being political, because I'm not afraid to lose my job. You know, the voters of San Francisco have honored me with this privilege that I don't take lightly. But at the same time, I realize that the voters can decide that they may want someone else, and I will respect that, but I will still be here working my ass off to do everything I can to change and support this city. So San Francisco has become a conservative talking point about everything wrong with progressive governance, that they blame wokeness,

they blame defund the police, they blame progressivism, they blame liberalism. You've been mayor for, since 2018. Is in any way what you just described a situation that's sort of out of control, problems that have gotten worse? Do you feel like that in some ways these shifts that you're making now are an admission that what San Francisco and what your office has been doing over the past several years hasn't worked to solve some of these problems? That question is very complicated because to be clear, I think the perspective of what we did and what we actually did are two different things. So when we made changes at the time when George Floyd was killed, and there were so many people talking about Black Lives Matter this

and Black Lives Matter that and saying they were investing money in the black community, that really wasn't happening. But in San Francisco, we actually did invest $60 million annualized in the African American community for the Dream Keeper Initiative, which is really changing lives with businesses, home ownership, and a lot of different things that are happening in San Francisco, specifically targeted at the African American community. So I'm really proud of that work, and it's happening in San Francisco. But the other thing is, we didn't get rid of our police officers. We took money from the police department.

And now what we're also seeing is a need to make sure that there's a balance. Of course, we want, and I can speak to this from a perspective of the African-American community that I grew up in, we want to be protected and safe in our communities, but we don't want the police to kill us. And I think at the end of the day, some of the things that we've done in San Francisco to

deal with reforms in the department and to highlighting the challenges and issues, we're going to keep moving in that direction. But you can have justice, you can have fairness, you can have accountability, but we also want safety. And I think balancing that is really important. So to imply that we went one way and now we're trying to go another way, that's not what we did. It's very complicated. And so I'm really proud of that work that we've done with the Dream Keeper Initiative and how we've made a difference. And, I mean, Third and Newcomb, for those of you who

know San Francisco, a notorious corner in the Bayview Hunters Point. When I was growing up, there was a shooting on a regular basis. There are a whole bunch of businesses there. We paid for the build out. We've invested in the community. My friend who used to sell stuff out of his car, clothes and t-shirts, now has his own own clothing shop my another person who has a gym a private gym there where she's working to help make a better community it used to be a 50 vacancy rate there it's now 10 and there's restaurants and offices and a rotary service i mean like a dry cleaner and a tailor guy who used to work for Nima Marcus, is making suits on the corner of Oakdale and Third Street where you can get some of the best suits anywhere in San Francisco. And so

the investments are making a difference, but at the same time, we still need to deal with the challenges around safety because a lot of things have gotten out of control. And I wouldn't blame that on a particular movement. I do think that we have to strike of control, and I wouldn't blame that on a particular movement. I do think that we have to strike a balance, and that's what we're trying to do in San Francisco. You know, a progressive DA was recalled. There have been changes on the Board of Supervisors. Do you feel like now that the city government is aligned to what you're trying to do in a way that what happened in San Francisco over the next year or the next two years is a result of your policies?

Well, not necessarily, because I would just say that the city and its various layers of bureaucracy make it very challenging to govern San Francisco like a CEO would manage a company. During the pandemic, under an emergency declaration, I was able to make decisions a lot faster and move things in a way that needed to be because we were in a state of emergency during COVID. And San Francisco, even though we're one of the densest cities in the country, we saw one of the lowest death rates because we were able to have an executive with the ability to make the hard decisions to keep people safe. So I was really proud of that work. And then the pandemic is over and reality comes back. I mean, I can't even fire and hire my department heads, the police chief and other departments. I can't do that directly, but I'm being held accountable for everything that all of these departments are

doing. And so I think that as a mayor, whether it's me or anyone else who's mayor of this amazing city, the mayor needs to have the ability to be an executive and be able to make the decisions. And it's not just about the people in office because the people will come and go. It's about the structure of the office to give the person that the people select the ability to make hard decisions in order to deal with the challenges of the city. Well, it just sounds like there's a lot of, these are layers of accountability and sort of checks and balances that have been put in place over years by Democrats to try to make sure that these systems protect the vulnerable,

protect people that may not have as much power. But you're saying that a lot of times those are now standing in the way. It seems like that's a problem that's not just happening in San Francisco, that's a problem in Los Angeles, that's a problem in California writ large. Yeah, I think sometimes something happens and then to solve for a problem in California writ large. Yeah, I think sometimes something happens, and then to solve for a problem, we create a policy to solve for it. And sometimes over the years, those policies may or may not be necessary. I can give you an example, but it's kind of silly example. So arcades in San Francisco, when arcades first started popping up, people in San Francisco, legislators, parents, everyone, they thought it was the end of civilization as we know it.

And so they created all these laws where you can't have an arcade here, next to a school, next to a gas station, next to this. I mean, I didn't even know this law existed until they were about to shut down Free Go Watch in the Haight-Ashbury community. And it was because of this law. And I thought, this is insane. But anyway, we got rid of the law. And the point that I'm making is, you know, sometimes we need to go back instead of creating new laws, how do we go back, get rid of old ones, or make things a lot better with some of the existing laws? And I think,

you know, unfortunately, in politics with politicians who are trying to make a name for themselves, oftentimes it's like, yeah, let's do this, and you want to get credit for doing all this stuff, and it sounds good, but eventually that stuff piles up, and it's probably not always good for the city. Thank you for being here. Now, while we have you,

we here on the Love It or Leave It Tour have refined the art of the micro-visit to some of our nation's most beautiful locales, which is why we're going to ask you what we should do if we have 24 hours in San Francisco. All right. What's the best

Patagonia vest viewing area? The best what? Where should we go if we want to see as many Patagonia vests as possible? Oh my goodness. Where would you go? Probably chestnut? Did you say chestnut?

I think probably maybe the inner sunset. Ooh, controversial. Controversial. Some people with warm chests and cold arms are mad. Speaking of maybe a similar question, where's the best part of town to get bullied for not knowing what the blockchain is? What the what?

The crypto blockchain. To get bullied for that? For not knowing what it is. Oh my goodness. Nobody, where did you get these questions from? Where do you think you should go to get bullied if you do know what it is? I would say on the block of Golden Gate in Fillmore.

It's like, man, get out of here with that. Come in here with that. Alfred Hitchcock's horror classic, The Birds, makes the Bay Area look like the perfect place to get murdered by seagulls. Where in San Francisco should we go if we want to get attacked by thousands of birds? Probably UN Plaza. There's a thousands of birds? Probably UN Plaza.

There's a lot of birds over there. Okay. What's the best local hike for someone who doesn't like hiking but said they did on a first date because the guy was hot and now there's no getting out of it, plus I'm going to be tired from the show? Probably somewhere in the Presidio. The Presidio? Yeah, it's not too, it's a lot of flat land. So you can look like you're hiking in nature and see the Golden Gate Bridge, but it's not really hiking. You know what I find when I walk around San Francisco?

You turn left, there may be a hill, there may not. There's no predicting it. You can't, you never know. Oh, this is up? You guys keep up in the weirdest places here. That's why we have the wiggle, you know, for riding a bike. Because it's a way to go around the hills and ride your bike without needing to go up a hill. What is that?

It's the wiggle. It's like a straight path to get from the west side of town to the east side of town, downtown. But also back and forth without going up major hills. That's cool. Nobody told me about that. Yeah. Hey, question. What do people eat here?

We eat, well, San Francisco has the best restaurants in the world. James Beard of World, Michelin stars, but even our hole in the wall, you can get the best food, Chinese, Mexican, whatever, culture, community, anywhere you walk in for the most part, just say what's the best thing you have here, taste the best thing they recommend, and let me tell you, your heart will melt. That's good advice. Is there anything you can do as mayor to get the chowder in a bread bowl off your brand? That's a crazy food to be associated with. First of all, it's New England clam chowder.

Have some respect for yourselves. I always thought it was crabs. Are they not putting this chowder in the bread anymore? They do, but the bread bowl chowder thing, that's mostly in Fisherman's Wharf where all the tourists go. Well, that's who comes and learns and leaves and tells others. That's exactly who we're trying to reach here. They come, they say, I'm going to have the thing you have here. East Coast soup in a carb.

In a soggy fucking carb. But let me tell you, our bread is so good and so fresh and so soft. It's so good. It may be good. You can't claim it's so everywhere as fresh bread. Fresh is not a local thing. Fresh is, it's not. It's fucking not. What are you doing? I don't agree with that. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. You guys invented fresh bread. All bread is fresh at the same exact moment everywhere. Fresh bread is not about where it's from. It's the moment it's done cooking.

And all bread, by definition, has a moment when it's done fucking cooking. Can I? No, no. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. The McDonald's on Golden Gate and Fillmore has the softest buns you ever want to eat. And I bet you go to any McDonald's in any other city, you can't find a better filet of fish. Our bread is good.

I'm sorry. This is, we're going to have to go off. Is that what we're getting? Are we getting white fish with American cheese? Is that what we're doing, Mayor? In cases of emergency, you gotta do what you gotta do. The McDouble's right there. Two patties, one slice of cheese, perfect ratio.

Something to think about. Why do they call the fog Carl? Why do they call the fog Carl? Because Carl is gray. Gray? Because Carl is gray? Yeah. Why do they call the fall Carl? Because Carl is gray? I don't know, I just always called it Carl. I don't know why. That's because that's its name. So I just want to say, so far the two

loudest and most confident answers have been because it's gray and because that's its name. Can we talk about the schools in this city? But they call it Carl. Yes. What's the... Herb Cain.

Herb Cain. Herb Cain named Carl the Fog. I'm getting the wrap it up hands from off stage. What's the best thing to do inside of Carl? That sounded weird. What's the best thing to do inside of Carl? That sounded weird. What's the best thing to do in the fog? In the fog? Hopefully.

I mean, you can't see in the fog. What are you going to do in the fog? Well, now you've thrown it back at me. I'm no expert. I'm a visitor. Let me tell you something about the fog. The fog is not in every neighborhood all the time. There's neighborhoods where you don't have to see

the fog, but it's mostly near the Golden Gate Bridge and other places like that. It varies in the avenues and other places, but it's not all of San Francisco all the time. You even have fog inequality? I got a lot of shit to do. Mayor Breed, thank you so much for your time.

One more time, Mayor London Breed, everybody. When we come back, Adam Savage is here. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage the man, the myth buster, the legend, Adam Savage. How are ya? Thanks for being here. Hi everybody.

What a beloved figure you are. Just universally. I love you too. You've dedicated your professional career to busting myths. And boy, we got a lot of them in our society these days. I'm sorry for that.

I am curious, though, you know, as someone who has spent a lot of time thinking about A, what makes basically a lie take hold? There are a lot of things that could be myths that aren't, but what makes a lie take hold? And then at the same time, what's a fun and smart way to dissemble one? I want to take each one. What have you taken away from so many years at looking at basically misinformation of a fun variety, of a chill and cool variety? What have

you taken away from thinking about these myths, about why certain ones sort of capture public imagination? Well, humans are always looking for ways to parse the world around them, and we do that with stories. And when we latch on to a story that's interesting to us, it doesn't have to be true, but it's going to be the one that we end up repeating. Science is nothing but a set of stories that we have assembled carefully to illuminate the world around us. But a really good counterintuitive fact will

make you spread a misinformation far and wide because it's a fun story to tell. You know, one of the most central things about humans is we are story collectors and storytellers. And then on the other side of it, what can we take from busting myths into politics? Like the other day, I saw somebody on TikTok was walking to their car in the rain. And the person in the car was like, what are you doing? It's raining. And they said, I learned from Adam Savage that running through the rain would make me wetter. And even though that doesn't seem true, I'm going to honor it by strolling to the car.

You got to that person. It is technically true, but by, like, a gram of water. Some of these answers are at a threshold that is way below what anyone will ever notice or care about. It also, you start to wonder, speed's got to matter on the walk. Presumably there's some sort of a,

you know, when you think about it, there's got to be some... I'm not relitigating this story. No, and I don't want you to. I don't want you to, but presumably, and again, you're just thinking out loud, rain falls at a certain speed, you. Rain falls at a certain speed. You move through it at a certain speed. It's not just that running might get you more wet than walking.

There's presumably some sign of a curve where, obviously, standing still in the rain, you get 100% wet over time. Yes, absolutely. You just stand in the rain, and your door you're trying to get to is over there, and you never go to it. You get 100% wet. That is specifically why we chose, I think, 75 feet because that was a distance that would be an average distance you might have to run. But yes, after a certain period of time, everyone gets the same amount of wet. Sure. But then...

I really thought that was a softball. But then, of course, but then, so then it's a speed question. And obviously, you decided that running is worse than then, so then it's a speed question. And obviously you decided that running is worse than walking, but presumably it's a curve, right? There's a, basically there's maximum wetness. And then as you start walking, you get drier because you've made it. And then at some point the speed picks up and you're pushing your face through more rain, but not as much rain as if you'd never moved at all. And correct me if I'm wrong, you didn't make that chart. The thing is, as ludicrous as the specificity you've just gotten to really is,

that was exactly all of our story meetings around shooting this episode, was figuring out what those thresholds were and what the average distances normal people would do and what could we get done in 41 minutes on television. But sorry, you dodged the question. You didn't use the chart. No. Look, actually, to your

original question, which was what's a good way to dissemble a myth, the first place to start is to wonder if you might be wrong. Hmm. I think we'd all do a lot better if we wondered that a lot more of the time. I care to disagree. I've never...

I choose not to wonder. Now, it is Pride Month. We're currently in America's third most important gay city. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I knew that was gonna happen. Those are fighting words. That was a horrible thing to say.

That was a horrible thing to say. That was a horrible thing to say. You're number one. So I thought we would tackle some queer myths in addition to some classic myths in a segment we're calling Myths Information. So here's how it works. Is that a Sasquatch in heels? You bet it is. What else would it be? Or is it? Here's how it works. Is that a Sasquatch in heels? You bet it is.

What else would it be? Or is it? Here's how it works. You're going to help us break down some classic myths you may or may not have busted, and then I'm going to ask you about the veracity of a myth from gay land. All right? Let's start with a classic myth. The five-second rule is real

and how we should conduct ourselves with regard to food that falls on the floor no matter how delicious the food or clean the floor. Do we honor the five second rule? Yes, we honor the five second rule. Really? Absolutely. Good, because I'm a big believer

in eating food that falls on the ground. Absolutely. What's our immune system for anyway? That's what I say. I think it's fine. Absolutely fine. I think, I will say, not wet food. No, exactly. I'm not picking up a shrimp off the carpet. Right.

And that's so important. Adam Savage is not picking up a shrimp off the carpet. The taller guy is always the top. You think that's true, Adam? I have the slightest idea. It's not. No, it's not true. It's not.

Would that it were, but it's not. It's easy to take candy from a baby. Relatively easy, yes. Yeah, that's an easy one. It is possible to slip on a banana peel, a danger Looney Tunes made us all believe was a more common risk than in reality. We showed to slip on a banana peel, a danger Looney Tunes made us all believe was a more common risk than in reality.

We showed that slipping on a banana peel was a pretty significant risk, actually. It'll get you. Well, specifically because your feet go out from under you, which means you fall on your coccyx, you fall on your backside. That stinks. And that specific joke injury has injured more stunt people in Hollywood

than any other kind of stunt. Wow. Art imitating life. Gay people are better dancers. Absolutely true. Yeah. Not everybody. Jesus averages.

I don't move that well out there, I'll be honest. Are there gays that are bad at dancing? Yeah. Yeah, there are. There are. There are. There are. If you yodeled in the Alps, you could trigger an avalanche. Supposedly true, but we weren't able to replicate that in Telluride.

That was good, all those people. Gay people love iced coffee. I'm going to say that 20% true, given the audience's response. No, I think everybody loves iced coffee. I think everybody loves iced coffee, but I think that there's a certain daintiness to it that queer people have got,

you know, just to get to the other side of being queer, you're like, this is nothing, swip, sip, sip, you know? Like, a cup of hot coffee, it's like everybody has that, but iced coffee, there's a daintiness, you know? I think there's a toxic masculinity thing going on. If you drank Diet Coke and ate Mentos at the same time,

your stomach would explode and you'd be torn to shreds from the inside. No, you would just projectile vomit non-sticky soda. Really? Oh, yeah. I thought you'd just be nothing. No, no, no, no. It's not that much pressure. It's less pressure that's

in an actual soda bottle. Well, right, but I just thought, but you really will, it will. Oh, sure, yeah. No, you totally, you'd spew all that up. It would be spectacular. Alright. Well, I wish we had sweeps. Oh, sure, yeah, no, you totally, you'd spew all that up. It would be spectacular. All right. Well, I wish we had sweeps. Lesbians love woodworking.

Totally, totally true. Why is that? That's so interesting. Why is that? I learned bowl turning from a lesbian in Oakland. Oh. If you drop a penny off the Empire State Building, it would absolutely kill someone.

No, not at all. Really? Oh, no, it's terminal velocity of a penny is about 70 miles per hour at the fastest, and that's just enough to hurt. What if it's just right? No, no, no.

Even just right, it's never going faster. What if you're like this? It might hit you in the eye. Right. But the other thing is that every level of the Empire State Building,

because we went there and filmed, every level below the observation deck littered with change. What a... This is why... This is why... When you eventually sail from Russia across the Arctic, this is why. People go up to the top of the Empire State Building,

they're like, ha-ha. Exactly. Bunch of fucking assholes. Gay people walk much faster than straight people and are annoyed by them. I don't know about the second part, but the first part's true. It's totally about the heels. Oh. They have a longer stride.

Yeah, maybe it is the longer stride. I also think it's the iced coffee. You know, you really can take a lot of iced coffee in very quickly. You know? Especially if you ask for what we used to know as straws. Straw? Remember straws? You ask for a straw now. I ask for a straw and

it is no good. People... No, no, no. The straw does not last for the whole drink. Yeah. I like straws. And I'm not ashamed of it. I don't want the ones that get into the turtles, but the ones that dissolve pre-turtle, what's the problem?

Why did this become a fucking token of progressive... We get so much little pieces of plastic we throw away all the time. I want a dissolvable cellulose straw. That's one of those conspiracy theories I do believe because it's the plastics industry just trying to make us feel bad about their fuckery. Yeah, it's their problem.

Yeah. Thank you for saying that. You can't fold a piece of paper more than seven times. I think more like 11. What did Carrie? Carrie Grant and Tori did this down at the Moffat Field blimp hangar. And I think they might have gotten to 11 folds.

Because you needed a big piece of paper. It was a huge piece of paper, like 100 feet on a side. They got to 11? I think they got to 11. That's cool. Gay men sit in their chairs like a constantly uncomfortable cat.

That's completely true. That's so true. I can't sit in a fucking chair. I don't, even now, I don't feel like I belong. Lesbians want Cate Blanchett to hit them with their car. Absolutely true.

What a strange thing. The mythic brown note is real. The brown note being a specific frequency so low it makes the listener shit their pants. So it's not true, and we know this from trying. In a parking lot over in Oakland, we set up with Meyers Sound 15,000 watts of subwoofers,

three six-foot stacks pointed all to the same locust that I stood in wearing adult diapers. And we scrolled up through the hertz. So we started with like six hertz, which is literally six beats per second. And from six hertz all the way up to like 100 hertz. And as it went, don't get me wrong, it feels weird. Yeah. Like I felt different organs vibrating at different frequencies.

Wow. But I did not shit my pants. Can I ask you a question? Did you think about trying it with an Ashkenazi Jew? No. Who had maybe like had a taste of cheese? It might not apply. The myth might not be busted for that person.

Now I wish you were in that story meeting. No one really knows how lesbians have sex. You don't have to answer that one. Adam Savage, thank you so much for being here. This was so much fun. Adam is a board member with the Center of Policing Equity, which uses science to promote justice

and redesign public safety systems. For information on how you can help, check out policingequity.org. Can you just tell us a little bit about it? Yeah. CPE is seeking to basically rethink public safety across the country, but not at a global level, at a local level. We go into communities. We work with them and work with local law enforcement to take data from law enforcement to build the largest police behavior database in the world and help those communities teach the police how to better serve

them. So that's policingequity.org. When we come back, get out your pickaxe. We're mining for crypto. Adam Savage, everybody. That was so good. Thank you so much. And we're back. San Francisco. It wasn't always the thriving, perfect human playground we know today. This was just a sleepy little settlement until the gold rush caused a population boom, transforming it forever. Ever since, hopeful dreamers and credulous, greedy idiots

have flocked to these hillsides and droves to make their mark, seek fortune, and prove the bastards back east wrong. Here to tell us more about San Francisco's rich and not quite rich history, please welcome an old-timey prospector. Woo-hoo! Wah-wah-hee-hee! Thank you, John.

It's a pleasure to be here. Wait, wait, Don't Tell Me. All right. Come on, old-timey prospect. All right. It's not Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Look at this graveyard of cue cards. What happened here? It's like the Rosie O'Donnell show. Sort of is. Do you want to sit?

No, I think I'm better standing, John. Thank you for being here, old-timey prospector. Woo-hoo! The, uh... Who wants to see my coins? Just... No one wants... We'll see your coins later.

Would you mind coming over? I need to talk to you about some very important things. Well, that's a little patronizing, isn't it? I'm sorry. Well, this isn't Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's sort of a political gay variety show, but what's on your mind? How are you doing?

What do you, what's it like being a prospector these days? I'm telling you, John, it started out pretty goddamn boring. Me and my friends, we came out here for the California gold rush. But what kept us here was the Cupertino Bitcoin rush. Oh, no.

Yee-hee! Look at my... I'm panning for Bitcoin, John. I've been waiting in the marina all day. Look at my... This'm panning for Bitcoin, John. I've been waiting in the marina all day. Look at my, this is my pan. I got E-pennies in here. Bitch dollar, cridgwad, biddle dick, coin tug, email wallet, Invisipiggy bank. What? You don't have biddle dick, John?

No, but it does sound like you have quite a diversified portfolio. Oh, you bet it. It's worth seven Pekingese right now. Me and my old prospector friends, we built a shrine of the Winklevoss twins. Oh. Topless with their Winkle tits out. All of us crypto freaks,

we're all waiting for the coming of the third Winklevoss twin, John. Oh, wow. There were three. You're not a believer, John? No, that's not my faith, but I'm going to respect your faith that we're waiting for the coming

of the third Winklevoss. I appreciate you very much. I didn't know about that religion. Imagine three gorgeous Winklevoss twins, a third even taller and more boring than the other two, and he will deliver the WinkleCoin, the dankest cryptocurrency any dipshit has ever seen.

Oh, fuck. It's an audio medium, John. As the prophecy goes, when the third Winklevoss twin arrives in his golden Tesla, his self-driving golden Tesla named after one of the idiots from Fight Club, as the prophecy goes, his self-driving Tesla will crash into a sushi place in Ashbury Heights. And then all of us old crypto prospectors will come gather round ye wreckage

with our D's out and he will deliver us to the Holy Land. Do you know where the Holy Land is, John? Where is the Holy Land, Prospector? It's the stadium where Dave Chappelle brought Elon Musk out and he got booed. Hey, hey, Prospector. Hey, Prospector.

Remember when the mayor started talking about how their McDonald's has the best filet-o-fish in the country? What the fuck? What the fuck kind of politician shit is that? The best filet-o-fish? What the fuck? It's a McDonald's. Every filet-o-fish is harvested from the same morgue in Indiana.

I also love the name London Breed. It sounds like a Batman villain. It sounds like something Judi Dench would yell when she was really horny and drunk. Sorry. I just... I didn't get the script till like an hour ago.

I just want everyone to understand something. I don't want to... This is a page of text. It's not from us. It's divine, John. I got it from the wiggle. Remember when she was talking about the wiggle?

I love that. What happened to the gold rush? Why did you stop looking for gold? Have you ever tried to find gold, John? This shit ain't easy. Just out in the ground, it's so hard. Sure, when I was in my 20s, I could squat by Ye River

and rinse off me pebbles all day long. All my friends were squatting and rinsing. It was a whole scene. Squatting and rinsing and getting tangled up in bachelor marriages, but golly, it grinds you down. I'm sorry. Did you say bachelor marriages? Are we in San Francisco or not?

Home of the Weagle. Did you just think there were going to be gold nuggets lying on the ground? Yeah. That's what the ads in the newspapers said. Ranger Rick, they were like, buy this canteen pickaxe and get your sweet tush to California. There's gold nuggets lying around all over the place. Why would you need a pickaxe if there were gold nuggets lying all over the place. Why would you need a pickaxe if there were gold nuggets lying all over the place?

Great question. Wish I'd asked it before I sold my family to buy a pickaxe at my family homestead. I like family better. When I sold my family... Love it or leave it, got dark this season. Some 90-year-old came on talking about selling his family for a pickaxe. Yeah, got in a steamship heading south, plus $100 for extra leg room.

Still a bitch of a journey, John, especially on JetBlue. Oh, it's JetBlue. Oh, yeah. 1920s JetBlue. Wow, that's rough. No mosaic. There's a layover in Panama, and then they said, get in this canoe.

I thought, am I being punked? You sold your homestead? Yeah, John. I did. I was out of options. The land was giving us bupkis, not to be confused with the hit Pete Davidson show.

Ever since my drunk of a father, daddy tried to plant what he called salt trees before he ran away with the circus. They didn't even want him. He was like a groupie. Plus, my mother was up my ass about finding a wife. But all I knew about sex, I learned from Sex Ed. You had Sex Ed? Yeah, my good uncle Ed would ring a bell whenever the horses

started going at it. Okay. It's valuable. That's why he called him Sex Ed. So I sold the farm, sent my dear old mother to live with her sister in Iowa and started off toward the horizon. And you became a miner. Mining for gold and then their digital hills.

Plus I have one of those NFT monkeys. Plus I sell Paxlovid to my mom's friends on Facebook. And you're not worried that the whole... You ever get fucked up on Paxlovid to my mom's friends on Facebook. And you're not worried that the whole... You ever get fucked up on Paxlovid, John? You have to stay awake and then it hits. Yeah, well, it's like rolling a CBD in a Barnes & Noble. Which is amazing.

Yeah, the bassoon hits different. And you're not worried that the whole crypto industry has been exposed as a pyramid scheme that enriches charlatans at the expense of some rubes Come on, John That would only worry me if I was some kind of rube I'm a brave person Who seizes opportunities

Listen to yourself This sounds like the gold rush all over again Excuse me You know what I learned earlier? What? In character acting, there's a fine line between Prospector and Michael Jackson. And I think that's what Uta Hagen, that's her famous realization. And Meisner.

That's a Meisner thing. Careful with, you gotta go down the octave. If you stay up on that, yee-hee. Yeah. You gotta go, yee-hee. Come on, John. The gold rush was a frenzy. Guess what men trapped by a lack of prospects,

confused and lost in a time of rapid technological change, denied the dignity of success, of the good life that they've been taught their manhood requires, and that I saw you listening to that Jordan Peterson podcast backstage. I'm kidding! He wasn't listening to Jordan Peterson.

I wasn't. Or was I? They really have that little faith in you? I can lose them in a fuck. We lost the rumor. I want you to know something. They know and I know. I can lose them in a heartbeat.

And that's what makes this work. A tenuous bond. Men just naive and cynical enough to close their eyes and see themselves as the next avatar of American luck and magic. Imagine beating a rush that they only knew about because the rush was already over.

It's completely different. I don't know, old-timey prospector. You may think it looks different, but in the end, it's all the same. Well, now you look and sound like sex ed. All right. So how's your net worth since three weeks ago? but in the end it's all the same. Well now you look and sound like sex ed! Alright. So how's your net worth since three weeks ago? Oh, not good, John.

Piss poor. In the horse's trough. But that's how this works. You gotta lose big to win big. You gotta buy the dip. I learned that from the podcast Crypto Hackers. It's only $25 a week to subscribe. That's a pair of jeans, John. That's where the money is, though. You don't buy the crypto, you sell the crypto hackers. It's only $25 a week to subscribe. That's a pair of jeans, John. That's where the money is, though. You don't buy the crypto, you sell the crypto podcast, but you really believe that this is going to work out for you.

It has to, John. I don't have a fallback. I got no education, no land, no advantages. I can't even find a wife because I keep saying stuff like, there's this crypto slash keto influencer you should really follow on Instagram. He's a genius. I'm all in.

I came to California, Cupertino, to get rich quick. And so help me God, I will get rich quick. I don't care if it takes a hundred years. Well, best of luck. An old-timey prospector, everybody. Thank you so much! I hoped I'd lose control of the show. Happened exactly as I imagined.

Give it up for Chris Fleming, everybody. He'll be at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on July 6th. And check out his website for more dates, chrisflemingfleming.com. When we come back, is that a unicorn in your pocket, or are you just a billionaire? Don't go anywhere. Love it or leave it, there's more on the way.

And we're back! The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz, the Starbucks next to my hotel, San Francisco is full of incredible things, so please welcome to the stage two more of them, the incredible Emily Van Dyke and the amazing Marcus Williams. Hi, hi, hi. Hey, hey, hey, how we doing?

Nice to see you both. Thanks for being here. Hey, thanks for having me. I'm glad to be here. How you both doing? Good. I'm emotionally drained. Yeah, that's what this is all about. Okay. San Francisco, which is apparently called the Paris of the West.

What? Who calls it that? I don't know. Yeah, where did you hear that? I'm not sure. But it is the land of the unicorn. Extremely hyped startups valued at over $1 billion. We wanted to put your tech knowledge to the test in honor of our visit to this bare city,

but we also realized we needed to give you a fighting chance at a correct answer, so we've mixed in some questions about the other two most famous unicorns, the mythological beast and the sex one. Oh. Statistically, some are here tonight. Yeah, it's happy pride. And if you can't answer a question about tech, mythology, or humping, what did you think this show was?

It's not about sports. Which is why it's time for our quiz. We're calling Unicorn in this economy. Everybody take it in. What's the financial status of unicorns? Like, were they broke? Or is it harder in this economy to be a unicorn? That's a really good question, Marcus.

We could have kept pitching on the name. This night has left me with more questions than answers, honestly. That's what we want. We want have kept pitching on the name. This night has left me with more questions than answers, honestly. That's what we want. We want to leave people inquisitive. They go home and they're curious. Here we go. Emily, I'll start with you. Which of the following tech unicorns isn't real?

A. Hey T. B. Cloud Kitchens. C. Octopus Energy. Or D. J-frog? Octopus energy. They're all real. Gotcha. What?

Yeah, I know, it sucks. They set you up, Emily. This is like Squid Game. Marcus, according to medieval European lore, what is the one kind of person who can tame the ferocious unicorn? Whew. A top.

I'll give you a guess. Incorrect. That's what I'm talking about. That's right. Let's take a vote. That's wrong. What kind of great inflation is this? Appreciate you.

The correct answer is virgin. A virgin can tame the unicorn. Yeah. Doesn't that make sense on some level? I'm so confused about what a unicorn is now. Well, that's the animal. The horse with a horn, which seems to have... You put a horn on a horse, people freak out. Right. Like it's a big deal that's the animal. The horse with a horn, which seems to have, you put a horn on a horse, people freak

out. Like it's a big deal. Isn't it just a horse with a horn? Why does a virgin tame the unicorn? Is unicorns really horny or something? I don't know. More questions than answers. More questions than answers. Emily, in sex and polyamory, what is the traditional definition of a unicorn?

That would be a woman that is down to be the third in a couple situation, I believe. Yes, that's correct. Yes! That is correct.

They've expanded to make it non-gendered, but... Okay. I think we're all down for expansion. And we're all down for expansion. Yeah. And we're all saying, yes.

Which of these companies, Marcus, that we've all heard of was not a unicorn. One of these companies was not a unicorn. A, Duolingo, B, Shazam,

C, Pornhub, D, Blue Apron. What was the first one? Duolingo, B, Shazam, C, Pornhub, D, Blue Apron. What was the first one? Duolingo. Mm-mm. That ain't it.

You don't want to learn Spanish for five seconds when the person you're sleeping with is in the bathroom? Absolutely. That sounds actually, you made it sound really fun. Is that not, is that too specific? I'll go with Pornhub. Correct. Yes! Correct, Marcus.

That's what I'm talking about. Emily, in the first century CE, Pliny the Elder described the unicorn less like a pretty horse and more like a sphinx monster. What animal's feet did he say that the unicorn had? Sphinx monster, that would be a... Sphinx-. What animal's feet did he say that the unicorn had?

Sphinx monster, that would be a... Sphinx-like monster. Oh. Hmm. Sphinx adjacent. Okay. Phew. It's getting more ambiguous.

It's impossible. I don't know. Is it a lion? So close. Marcus, you want to steal? Frog. That's cool. Thank Frog. That's cool. That's a true ally that's going to be like,

no, we're both wrong. It was an elephant. No, come on. Take it up with Pliny the Elder. Over a beer. What? What's up, Bay Area? Over a beer with Pliny the Elder.

I got you. I got you. Pliny. Thank you. I didn't want to hit him twice. Hold on a second. Now, what I'm gathering is that several of you have a great deal of confidence that I'm saying it wrong. That when I say Pliny the Elder, you're so confident you're going to shout what at me?

Pliny. Now, will the people that actually know how to say it say it to me? Thank you. What does the classics major say? You're the classics major? Yeah. How do you say it? It was free to help me. How do you say it? It was free to help me.

How do you say the name? Pliny. But how do you actually say it? The beer is Pliny? That's what you're going on about? You are so late to the happy hour. I'm sorry, everybody. This is intense.

I want you to know something. We have done this show in virtually every major city in this country. And there is no city but San Francisco where this debate would ever in a million fucking years break out.

Marcus. What did Samantha Jones call being a sexual unicorn on Sex and the City? Pliny. She called it being a pliny. Let it go. Let it go, you freaks. It's a television term.

A television term. Yes, it's a television term. It's a term for a kind of appearance you can make in a television show. A cameo. So close. Damn it. Emily, you can steal. Oh, I don't know. I'm going to, guest appearance? Yes. Hey!. Damn it. Emily, you can steal. Oh, I don't know.

Guest appearance? Yes. You got it. It was guest star. I mean, cameo's way better. It is more of a cameo. Like, hey, I'm here. It's more of a, and me. You know? Emily, what is the term for a

winged unicorn? A pegasus. So close. Oh, come on. The technicalities. Is it a pagasus? You're getting so close. It's pegasus. It's pegasus.

I read the Canterbury Tales in the Middle English, and I know it's pegasus. Marcus. in the middle English, and I know it's Pegasus. Marcus, on Urban Dictionary, the first and third definition of unicorns involves sex and couples. What is the second definition? It goes sex stuff, something, sex stuff. What is the middle definition of unicorn? One kernel of corn.

That is correct. Oh! One kernel of unicorn. One kernel of corn. That is correct. Yo, I was trying to be funny and got it right. That rules. Holy shit. That rules. Wow. Oh, wow.

That's because Marcus has read Urban Dictionary cover to cover. That's part of his training. Hey. I mean, it comes naturally. In what year was the tech term unicorn originally coined? I don't know. That sounds like some 2014 type stuff. 2014.

You know what? I'm going to give it to you because that is so damn close. Yes! It was 2013 by Eileen Lee in a TechCrunch article called Welcome to the Unicorn Club. So something there. It was probably like December 31st 2013. The way we're going. Yeah, no, it was a technicality for sure.

Alright, and either one, we're going to get, both of you can answer. Finally, according to an incomprehensible website certainly written by AI that producer Brian found and adores, on a scale of 1 to 10, how hot does someone need to be to be a unicorn? Four.

We're doing Price is Right rules. It's closest without going over. Oh, I'm gonna say, you know, it's somebody for everybody. You could be a unicorn and be like a half. So, no, I want the check mark for that. I unchecked the mark. I think that should be the correct answer.

This website says 7.8, but that website can eat shit. No, they haven't been to Berkeley. Right. You're right. Where am I wrong? What are you mad about? What are you mad about? They fuck.

That was fun. Guys, everybody give it up for Marcus and Emily. Marcus will be hosting the San Francisco Punchline the week of July 17th, 2023 and will be in LA for the Burbank Comedy Festival the week of August 15th. Emily will be at the Academy of Sciences next Thursday.

So check that out. And they're going to stick around for the rant wheel. We'll be right back. And we're back. Now it stick around for the rant wheel. We'll be right back. Hey. And we're back. Now it's time for the rant wheel. You know how it works. We spin the wheel where it lands.

We rant about the topic. This week on the wheel, we have all these fucking hills. Phones at the dinner table. Wine tasting. Not being able to ride electric scooters on the sidewalk, even though riding them in the street is really scary. The dumbing down of America. iTunes. Verbal processors patronizing small dog. on the sidewalk, even though riding them in the street is really scary. The dumbing down of America. iTunes, verbal processors patronizing small dog.

I wonder who that is. And the ocean, part two. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on wine tasting, which I, who suggested wine tasting? I suggested wine tasting.

What do you think about it? I hate that shit. You know what I mean? Yo, recent story. So I went wine tasting, right? And you know, we're at a place where we're like meeting people where they are, you know, we're respecting pronouns, being kind to one another, and hoe ass like sommelier in one of those patagonia jackets that we were talking about earlier you know we're in nappa we're sipping

and i just kind of was offended that like the way that he was describing the wines kind of like assumed that i was heterosexual like he was like this red that we're gonna taste this one's like sweet and sassy right and then the rose came out and he was like, this red that we're going to taste, this one's like sweet and sassy, right? And then the rosé came out and he was like, this is like feminine and floral, right? And then the white came out and he was like, oh, this one's like really bushy and approachable. And I was like, what the fuck? You know what I'm saying? Like I'm gay as hell. You know what I'm saying? Like I want like gay ass descriptors for wines, you know, like reds that are like stiff and erect or, you know what I'm saying? Like, yous that are, like, stiff and erect, or, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I prefer, like,

a sweaty and anonymous rosé. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, maybe something more with, like, long legs and nutty finishes. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the, that's the kind of shit I want. You know what I'm saying? This, I didn't like it. We gotta queer up some wine tasting here. Yeah, that's right. This is ridiculous. That's right.

That's a really important point. Let's spin it again. Phones at the dinner table. I believe this was yours, Emily. Oh, that's me. I wish you would set your phone at the dinner table with me. Alright, that is just disrespectful. And honestly, it's not as disrespectful as me setting my phone at the dinner table with you.

And you need to hold me accountable for that. You know what I'm saying? It is just a matter of time before we're wearing their phones on the faces. Apple Vision's coming. It is. I'm serious. We need to intersect. This is not even funny.

This is just a public service announcement. In two years, you're going to be like, I remember remember that white lady and she went off about phones on the table. And now we all have phones on our faces and it's just very unfortunate. I'm just saying, hold me accountable. Be like, listen, if your auntie's not in hospice, you can put your phone away. You know, we don't need that. We don't need the visual aids. We don't need the text messages. We're good. We're good with the phone just in the purse or just off. Let's just enjoy ourselves. I like that.

I completely agree. I remember when cell phones first started being a thing and people would have them on their belt. And it would be like, are you a doctor on call? No? What the fuck are you doing? And now we're all on call. We're all on call.

We all are on call. When's it going to end? Apple wants to put it right in our fucking eyeballs. Some of you people are making it happen. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I know, it makes me very unbelievable. I know. It makes me very angry.

I'm so sorry. I will say, though, I haven't been able to adapt to the post-skinny jeans era. I see the young people, and then it's moving up in the years. The wider leg, the end of the skinny jean era has come.

I put on these pants, I look like I'm in fucking Guys and Dolls. I'm sticking with the skinny jeans. My proportions do not lend themselves to these wide, baggy pants. You're wearing a floral skirt. Get a merce. What's a merce? A merce is a man purse.

Oh, okay. I'll get a purse. You're right. I think it just means you're thick. I thought you said e-merce, which is like an internet man purse. No. An e-merce. Yeah. I was checking out your e-merse, which is like an internet man purse. No. An e-merse. Yeah.

I was checking out your e-merse the other day. You got a lot of messed up stuff in your e-merse, man. Let's spin it again. Meanwhile, this unicorn from Berkeley is going to be selling Apple Vision in the lobby. All right, so. And it's landed on the ocean part two. And i don't know what made me think of it but um i say no it's not for us we left the ocean leaving the ocean was so fucking difficult do you know how long it took for us to leave the ocean at first we swam and flopped around

because we were desperate and hungry and small and vulnerable to predators in the water. And we would stay out there for longer and longer periods of time, slowly figuring out how to make our little fucking fins into legs that could slowly crawl our way out. And slowly but surely spend more and more time on land, desperately trying to survive that survival, more and more time on land, desperately trying to survive that survival, making it possible for us to eventually, permanently have lungs so we no longer had to go back into the water.

We could stay on the beautiful, beautiful, sweet, sweet land. And then what do we do? We decide to turn around, and even though we are not evolved at all to be in the ocean, it wants to kill us within seconds and you don't have to go down far to die in the ocean it'll kill you right there on the top

you can be in the sun the ocean will fucking kill you every goddamn time and not only do we go back to the ocean we declare war on the ocean and try to kill every fucking thing in it we go out there so much that the ocean the ocean and try to kill every fucking thing in it. We go out there so much that the ocean, the ocean is trying to tell us, you're killing us. Stop coming out here. And then we just say, no, no, we're going to go deeper. We're going to go further down into you. Thank you. I say no to the ocean. I didn't know, like, The Little Mermaid was an evolutionary tale. Yeah. Thank you. Let's spin it again.

It has landed on verbal processors patronizing small dog. Chris, I believe this was your suggestion. Well, here's the problem, John These were two different things And I was But now you have to put them together Yeah, so now When you said that, the adrenaline kicked into my body In a way

Where I'm going to have to conjoin two very disparate things Neither of which are really things Okay, my thing about verbal processors disparate things, neither of which are really things. Okay, my thing about verbal processors is, like, when you cut them out of your life, like, you won't believe what you can achieve. Like, Marie, who did pasteurization? I know you know this. Yeah.

Wasn't it Pasteur? It can't be that easy. It cannot be that easy. Her name was Pasteur. So, like, Marie Pasteur? It can't be that easy. It cannot be that easy. Her name was Pasteur. So like Marie Pasteur would not have discovered how to not make people get sick from milk if Louis

came home and was like in the office needing to process his bad experience at the boulangerie that day. If he's like, I wanted deux croissants. They gave me trois croissants. You think she's going to figure out how to not throw up from milk? Did we all go into a K-hole?

Like, I'm completely lost. Okay, this is the attitude that verbal processors have. Okay, this is it. Oh, no, okay. I just want your extra time and your do-ba-do-ba-do-ba-do-ba-do all of your time. That is...

Now, how this... How does this relate to patronizing dogs? It doesn't, John. And so, I have a little dog. When my little dog gets angry, people like to be patronizing and they're like, oh, uh-oh, killer. It's like, Charles Manson was 5'4", dude.

Okay? You don't know what terrible thing she's capable of, okay? Are we just forgetting our collective experience with Joe Pesci? He basically killed the entire state of New Jersey between 1990 and

1995 in cinema. He seems like the only actor that ad-libbed murders in a movie. And he can, like, stand up in a car. Back to you, John. Let's spin it one more time. Let's spin it one more time. Let's spin it again.

Yeah, verbal processors are tough. It's tough, the verbal processors. They need an island. It has landed on iTunes, which I believe Adam suggested. Yeah, this was mine. I hate a lot of software, but this is a piece of software that I hate that I use every day. And it didn't

start out this way. When Apple first released the iPod, it was so important we're still using the word in podcasting. It held a thousand songs and I could play any music I wanted on this thing. And you know what you can't do on an iPhone right now? Put all your fucking music on it. There's no central button. No, it's ridiculous. It's on the cloud. And the one place that I want to listen to my phone is on the airplane, where to listen to it on the cloud, I have to pay like 20 bucks for shitty dial-up service on the plane and hear my music. It makes me absolutely crazy. Oh, and I have this like 14-year-old solitaire program on my phone. I play it only on airplanes, and I've been playing it for like, what, 14 years. Every time I open it up, it might have been

months, it remembers exactly where I was and the game that I was playing. But iTunes can't remember what I was doing five seconds ago. It's like a tabla rasa every time I shut it down. It's a perfectly and shitified program and yet I have to use it every day

so I'm sad. Somebody who works at Spotify just shouted Spotify. Is your podcast going to survive that rant? We're going to bleep it out. Okay. We're grateful for the support that Apple provides. All praise be to the people at Apple for everything they do for us.

They make life worth living. I, for one, am excited to put on their permanent life helmet. I look forward to the experience of speaking to you through the form of my digital avatar made by a machine learning process that scans my face and then forgets, lets me forget my face forever. forgets, lets me forget my face forever. And I don't care that my phone, my computer, and my iPad each have a different cord. I think that that's also really cool. I think that that's an unsolvable problem.

And I get why it got that way. When we come back, we'll end on a high note And we're back One more time Everybody give it up for Adam Savage For Marcus Williams For Emily Van Dyke And for Chris Fleming

Thank you guys all so much for being here We are over time So we're going to do three high notes Hi, what's your name? What is your high note? Hi, my name's Chris, and I'm a teacher from Dublin for my locals. My high note is that I'm here with my lovely mom, who is now retired at the age of 60, and just celebrated her 60th birthday.

And this is my way, after many years of taking her to Bill Maher shows, to sort of get a new gateway drug going with the show. Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Hi, my name is Mary. My high note is that after living here for six years, I'm moving to D.C. next week to go do my dream job and work on climate policy in the Biden administration. Oh, congratulations. That's great. Thank you.

And hi, what is your name and what is your high note? Hi, my name is Erica and I quit my shitty ass job. My mom introduced me to your podcast in 2020 she's a 40 year old something like younger than 45 millennial from virginia and she's going to be listening to this episode this saturday so big shout out to you oh that's great congratulations i'm quitting your job. San Francisco, thank you so, so much. That is our show. Thank you to Carney Asada. Thank you to Mayor Breed, Adam Savage, Chris Fleming, Marcus Williamson, Emily Van Dyke.

There are 507 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great weekend and happy Pride. Thanks, everybody. So great. Pride. Thanks, everybody. So great. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James

is our executive producer, Brian Semel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pauly Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, Chandler Dean are our writers. Bill Lance is our editor. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer.

And Kyle Seglin provides audio support. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Toles, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at www.youtube.com

slash at Love It or Leave It podcast. That's the best we can do, I guess. Subscribe to Love It or Leave It on YouTube for access to video versions of your favorite segments and other exclusive content. Don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on IG and Twitter. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review.