Lovett or Leave It - Filibustin’ Makes Me Feel Good

Episode Date: August 13, 2022

It’s the dog days of summer and Lovett or Leave It is unleashed on L.A.’s Dynasty Typewriter theater. Salem resident Elizabeth Johnson Jr. (Kara Klenk) takes a stand against witch hunts. Lovett sends the Choco Taco off to the great freezer section in the sky with an audience game that asks, “Do the youth know?” The Filibuster (Yoni Lotan) begs us to plan ahead and kick him the hell out of Congress now. Lovett and Nori Reed say goodbye to Nichelle Nichols, and hello to new TV firsts, while these Hot Takes send the thermometer climbing. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

Good evening, Los Angeles. We've got a great show for you this week. The filibuster is here. It's really Yoni Lothan. Nori Reed celebrates Nichelle Nichols with some TV firsts. The last witch to be exonerated out of Salem flies on by on her broom, and some takes hotter than the summers we'll experience for the rest of our lives. Let's get into it.

What a week. A Florida woman was arrested last week for drunk driving onto the interstate in a golf cart with an open bottle of Jack Daniels. No one had the heart to break it to her how late she was for the insurrection. Is it this way? I'm coming. I'm coming, Trump. Excerpts from Jared Kushner's upcoming book,

Breaking History. Yuck. Reveal new information about his role at the White House. For example, he claims that Steve Bannon enlisted him to prevent Chris Christie from becoming chief of staff. So he was the genius who told Mark Meadows to put a piece of bacon in his pocket during his interview. Thousands of people have now been diagnosed with monkeypox in the United States. And at a certain point, I will start feeling very bad about not being invited to any of these parties. I tried to get the vaccine,

and they said, you don't need this. It's not for you. Come on. Let's get serious. There are people here who really need this. They're fucking and sucking all over the place. You, come on. Go home. Play your games. You're not getting a game over the place. You? Come on, go home.

Play your games. You're not getting a game night with Spencer. John, chill the fuck out. Yale scientists have successfully revived brain cells and other organs in dead pigs with the goal of one day increasing the supply of human organs for transplanting by keeping organs viable after death. That's definitely one outcome,

said every sci-fi author in the history of the written word. Reanimating pigs. What could go wrong? This one's gonna be tough, okay? Pat Carroll, Emmy winner and voice of Ursula in The Little Mermaid,

passed away at the age of 95, trading her voice to be where the people aren't. I said it was going to be tough. I told you. She died at 95. She lived a long, full, wonderful life. Actually, as she was dying.

People don't know this. It hasn't been reported yet, but I can tell you this for the very first time. As she died, her final words, she just sort of whispered, stop giving voice parts to Chris Pratt. And then she died. Researchers on an expedition to the deep sea

between Hawaii and Mexico found dozens of potential new species, including a bright yellow sea cucumber resembling a half-peeled banana called a gummy squirrel. It looks disgusting, which is why I'm taste-testing it for you now. Producer Brian, bring out the gummy squirrels.

Nah, he's out with COVID. Also, we couldn't get him. In somehow even more disgusting news, New York City mechanics have reported an increase in cars coming in with rat-related problems. Out of 28 mechanics interviewed news. New York City mechanics have reported an increase in cars coming in with rat-related problems. Out of 28 mechanics interviewed by the New York

Times, 10 said that the number of cars full of rats had doubled during the pandemic. But that's just from dropping french fries between your seats while you struggle to wipe the grease off the Tesla touchscreen. I've heard. Here's the thing, alright? We're all living in a post-Ratatouille world.

The rats are only getting more brazen, and they all have to get to work. A recent Bloomberg article reveals that there is a large market for guests paying up to $50,000 to appear on podcasts, but don't worry, we're letting Tommy pay in installments. I saw that article.

I was like, people are paying $50,000 to go on a podcast? I'm doing this wrong. And finally, the singer Shakira was charged with tax fraud in Spain, allegedly failing to pay the Spanish government roughly 14.5 million euros. Shakira, Shakira. Should I do it again? Ooh. Shakira, Shakira.

You think I got it right? Oh. Ooh. Shakira, Shakira. One of those will work. Coming up next, witches get stitches. Don't go anywhere.

This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. Hey, everybody. Join me, John Lovett, for a live recording of Love It or Leave It, a Dynasty typewriter in Los Angeles. You never know what headlines we're going to get into. That's true. Or who's going to show up. Or what I'm going to say.

Recent guests have included Matt Rogers, Vanessa Bayer, Bob the Drag Queen, Crooked's own Aaron Ryan, Jason Concepcion. We have so many great guests. We'll be at Dynasty Typewriter for a lot of Thursdays coming up. It's exciting. It's fun. You have nothing else going on. I don't. You fucking losers. Okay. Tickets are on sale right now. Crooked.com.

And we're back. The American criminal justice system. You think it's bad now, but back in the late 1600s, it was a lot worse. Earlier this month... It's just a... It's just true. Earlier this month, Massachusetts formally exonerated

Elizabeth Johnson Jr., the last person convicted of practicing witchcraft during the Salem witch trials, whose name hadn't yet been cleared. Here to tell us how it feels to be exonerated after 329 years, it's Elizabeth Johnson Jr. Oh, that's right, my bitches. Lizzie J., innocent. What's up, Los Angeles? Just to let you know, it's not a big deal. It is pronounced Los Angeles. It is pronounced Los Angeles.

Angeles. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm positive. All right. Weird. Okay, sorry. This whole side of the continent is new to me. We thought it was just sea monsters

plopping off the edge of the earth over here. Yeah, a lot to catch up on. You've heard the earth is round, right? What up? Let's keep it moving. I can send you some links. Elizabeth, you finally had your name cleared after centuries with this bogus witchcraft conviction

hanging over you. How do you feel? Oh, fucking fantastic. God, I could churn so much butter right now. So here's the thing. More than 200 people from Salem and nearby towns were accused of practicing witchcraft during the mass hysteria between 1692 and 1693, but all others have already been exonerated. Why do you think it took so long for you personally?

Why were you the last to find justice? You know, it's all about connections, John. I mean, a lot of these gals had descendants to fight for them, but not me. It's basically reverse nepotism. It's all about who your great,great-great-grandkids are. Exactly. And by the way, that was probably one of the reasons I got shafted in the first place.

I was 22 years old, unmarried, with no kids. I mean, spinster much? Of course the Reverend thought I was in league with the devil. All right, well, once again, things have changed. They're sort of changing back, but we're working on it. I'm just saying I should not have turned down that blacksmith who offered my father ten chickens in a sturdy bucket when I was 15. I could have

done worse bucket-wise. Anyway, I want to give a big shout-out to Miss LaPierre's eighth grade class in North Andover Middle School. Those little sweeties lobbied state lawmakers to clear my name, and I hope they all find suitable husbands pronto. Oh, no. She's from another time.

Everyone relax. Elizabeth, I read that you actually confessed to witchcraft at the time. Is that right? Yeah, because I'm not a sucker, John. I saw how the wind was blowing. Everyone who pleaded not guilty got convicted and executed. But if you went up there and you said,

oh, yeah, I'm a big old witch. Satan's my boyfriend. Abracadabra. At least you wouldn't get hanged. It's so great that you made it out alive, at least. I mean, yes and no. You know how hard it is to find a job with that kind of rap sheet? You put on your interview bonnet, you go out and apply to the local dressmaker,

and she's like, what's this gap in your resume? And you gotta be like, oh, sure, that. Yeah, that is when I was on trial for being a witch. You're not getting that job, John. You couldn't just lie? Like, why not say you were taking time off to learn a trade or something? You think they wouldn't find out? You don't think the apothecary's doing a background check?

Guess what they thought lying made you. Guess what they thought lying was a sign of. Was it witchcraft? Yeah, witchcraft, John. Yes. You do not want to get convicted of witchcraft a second time. That's automatic first-degree witchcraft. And there is no coming back from that.

Oh, and dating's also been a fucking nightmare, believe me. I can imagine. Every guy thinks I've never heard the jokes before. Oh, are you going to put a hex on my dick? Looks like somebody already did, you dumbass. That's good. That's a solid clap back. It's like, ay-yi-yi.

Ay-yi-yi. As a witch from Salem would say. Yeah. Thank you. I'm pretty good at clapbacks. I've had 329 years to work on them. Anyway, I'm not here just to complain. Now that my record's been expunged,

I want to get more involved in activism and make sure no one else has to go through what I experienced. I'm excited to announce the launch of my new non-profit, Witch Way Forward, with the mission of stopping witch hunts wherever they start. Well, that's really admirable, Elizabeth. But to be honest, I'm not sure how relevant it is this day and age unless... Oh. Oh, no.

Our first project is to disband the House January 6th Committee. Oh, Elizabeth, no! The targets of witch hunts have got to have each other's backs, John. Oh, no. Those Capitol rioters were taking orders from Hugo Chavez. Nobody in the Trump administration had anything to do with it. Where are you getting all of this? Steve Bannon's podcast.

What? Yeah, I was watching some videos on making beeswax candles, as you do. And then YouTube kept recommending more videos. And then all of a sudden, here's this gross man wearing three shirts who's telling me everything the deep state doesn't want me to know. The algorithm is pretty amazing. I'm 99% sure he's made of beeswax. Anyway, you should really check it out, John. I'm sorry, Elizabeth. You don't know the world

is round, but you know about algorithms? Again, I think there's some YouTube videos you should really watch, because this whole world is round thing, it seems a little shaky. That's enough, Elizabeth. Get out of here. Justice for Josh Hawley. I saw Goody's enough, Elizabeth. Get out of here. Justice for Josh Hawley. I saw Goody Pelosi with the devil. Get out of here.

Thank you so much to Cara. Check out her podcast, That's Messed Up, an SVU podcast. And if you're in LA, she hosts a weekly stand-up show at Bar Bandini when we come back. Something else. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Something else. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Raise your hand if you think you are the youngest person in this room. Raise your hand if you think you're... Not if you're an intern for Crooked. Put your hand down. We'll maybe use you.

We may have no choice. Who's not an intern for Crooked? Wait your hand down. We'll maybe use you. We may have no choice. Who's not an intern for Crooked? Wait, we got some people willing to raise their hands. They've nervously, they looked around. How old are you? 19. 22. 19 wins.

All right, hi, what's your name? Ava. Ava? Something happened that we need to discuss with you. Do you know what this is? Yes, it's a Choco Taco. That is a Choco Taco. Ava, what are your thoughts on this item?

I've never had one, but now I wish I had. Yeah, maybe if you'd had one or two or five, we wouldn't be in this fucking mess. Maybe if you got off a Discord and TikTok, we could have wonderful things like a Choco Taco. Sorry. We get have wonderful things like a Choco Taco. Sorry. We get the Mexican pizza back. We lose the Choco Taco

because God doesn't give with both hands. What year were you born? 2002. Jesus Christ. Shut up, Ava. Has anything you love been discontinued yet? Taken away from you?

I don't think so. Yeah, that's... That's really cool. Sorry. You'll know what it's like soon enough. Sorry. Ava may not know why we mourn the Choco Taco, but as a person of a certain age,

I couldn't help but grieve all the bright spots in my life that have been taken off the grocery shelves just because no one was buying them or their food dye was killing people. But that had us asking the question, did the young even know? And if I'm asking a question, baby, that's a game.

Ava, are you ready to play Did the Young Know? Yes. Okay, here we go. Also, just to note, our wonderful producer, Brian, baby that's a game Ava are you ready to play do the young know yes okay here we go also just to note our wonderful producer Brian made these slides immediately before

testing positive for COVID which might explain why he has used his own face to hide the brand name packaging all right Ava do the young know about these tiny marsupials

who you can dip in cream, which were discontinued in 2012 but returned in 2020? The 90s had a lot of cream-based snacks. Some things have gotten better. Is this one of them? No, I do not know. You don't know what these are? I don't know.

If you know, shout it out. Yeah, that's millennial power, all right? We still have some moves left. That's the world now. Do the young know about this incredible British ice cream miracle, which was killed in the mid-1990s and resurrected in 2021?

What is this? I don't know. You don't know what it is? Does anyone here know? It's Viennetta. It's V anyone here know? It's Viennetta. It's Viennetta. It's Viennetta. And it ruled.

There was something that happened before you were born in the 1990s. And this is when a group of companies decided that there were a bunch of people out there that wanted to eat bullshit for children, but in slightly more refined packaging. bullshit for children, but in slightly more refined packaging. Thus, we had things like Viennetta, which was an ice cream sundae, no different than what you get inside of a fucking Choco Taco or a Nutter Butter.

What are those things called on the cones? King Cone. But it was very fancy looking and had ripples on top, and they called it Viennetta like it was coming from fucking Europe. And it wasn't. There was also something called boku and this was a fucking juice box filled with juice box juice but it was a slightly taller packaging and richard lewis who you also don't know did a very refined you don't know what i'm talking about and he wore black on black in front of a

black background and it was like juice boxes but sophisticated for adults. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Larry David's friend. Ava, do the young know about this ball-based drink introduced in 1997 but discontinued due to poor sales, which I'll tell you right now is not on me. I'd drink a

lava lamp if it got close to this beverage. What is it? No idea. You don't know what this is? No. You don't know what any of this stuff is? Because you were born in 2002?

You were born in 2002. Yes. So you don't remember 9-11. Because you were born after it. You only exist in a post-9-11 world. What? That's just a fact about this person. It's wild.

It's wild. My teeth were blue for a full summer drinking these twist-offable drinks, which disappeared in 2001, only to float back again from 2006, 2007, and then again in 2011 and 2012. Do the young know what these are? No.

Oh, yeah. Is it cool? They're called squeezes. And they were gross. Ava, God's most beloved sons the Keebler elves manufactured these the best cookies ever made

because of a layer of chocolate inside the cookie do the youth know what these are? no it looks familiar but no Ava, they're magic there's chocolate in the middle they're magic middles

and they're fucking dead and's chocolate in the middle. They're magic middles. And they're fucking dead. And they were so good. They ruled. Does anyone here know about the magic middles? These were less, they weren't that popular. I see why they didn't make it. I see why they didn't make it.

You didn't like them. You had them, you didn't like them. Yeah, you. Well, it looks like a Fig Newton, but here's the thing about Fig Newtons. Here's the thing about Fig Newtons. Fig Newtons are on a long list of foods that the signature thing that makes them special, that is in the name, makes them terrible.

Like, we're not all clamoring for fig-based foods, and there's a reason. Oh, you are. You are. Fantastic. Good for you. After returning temporarily to commemorate the release of Ghostbusters Afterlife,

this neon green nectar of the gods is gone from the shelves, but not our green souls. Do the young know what this is? Ava, do you know what this is? You don't know what this is? I don't know what this is. You don't know what it is it was in

the bear did you watch the bear no why not what are you watching that's a really good question oh the boys oh the boys I've been watching the boys it's really good do you think they get a discount for every body they explode yeah it's too many exploding fucking corpses all the time it's you started season three I'm done with season three. I'm done with it. A lot of there's bodies. The heads, yeah. And it's like they do it on the job

they'll have a main character you get their whole backstory somebody will sneeze done. And I appreciate that because what I appreciate about that is I think people with superpowers

would accidentally kill a lot of people and I'm very interested in that as a world building thing. You know? It's not all Spider-Man. Some of them would be bad at it. It's a high-C ecto-cooler.

It's green. And it has to do with Slimer. Do you know about Slimer? No. I'm going to ask you something. I'm just going to say some movies and you tell me if you've seen them. Okay? Ava, you're just going to tell me if you've seen these movies.

Just yes or no questions. Jurassic Park. Yes. Okay. Ghostbusters you're just going to tell me if you've seen these movies. Just yes or no questions. Jurassic Park. Yes. Okay. Ghostbusters. Yes. Godfather Part 2. No.

The first one. All right. I've seen the first one. What? The first one. I've seen that one. You've seen the first one? Yeah.

Okay. Did you not like it? It was fine. It was fine. It's okay. It's's okay that's okay that's okay have you seen indiana jones and last crusade yes okay you're doing great that's fine okay i feel better do the young know about the greatest sour's gift to man which has a change.org petition to bring it back to the market they were discontinued due to low national demand. If a product

not selling particularly well unfortunately we sometimes have to discontinue it and I blame the young. Do you know what these are? No. They're Altoid Sours and they were so good.

Does anybody else have any movies they want to know if Ava's seen? Have you seen Dirty Dancing? Yes. Okay. The Notebook.

Who cares? I've seen The Notebook. Why do you want her to see Schindler's List? What a weird shout out. That's not like a thing we go back to. Is that important? Have you seen Braveheart? No.

No. Shawshank. Have you seen Shawshank? Yes. What was that one? Save the Last Dance. Have you seen Save the Last Dance? I don't even know what that is.

Have you seen Big Lebowski? I have to move on. We have to move on. We have to move on. Guys, Ava, you've won the game. This was an unprecedented victory from Ava because she did two things that no one's ever done before. Be born after 9-11 and shoot the moon.

Thank you, Ava. When we come back, something else. And we're back. Look, this is a comedy show. We like to have a good time. But before we get into the next segment,

I want to get serious for a moment. As many of you know, this week Joe Manchin reversed course and announced that he and the Dems have finally struck a deal on a domestic spending package that covers climate change and energy programs as well as tax increases after dashing Democrats hopes that such a deal could possibly be reached. Honestly, thank God. I'm sure it took a lot

of blood, sweat, and tears to get to this point, and these people do not have a lot of blood to spare. Look at them. We're talking drops. But at least we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Hee-hee-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh no, that's strange. Hee-hee-ha! Look at them. We're talking drops. But at least we can all breathe a sigh of relief. Oh, no. That's strange. Oh, no. That voice.

It can't be. Oh, no. Wait. One second. Fucking thing sucks. Yep. Oh. No, we're good. Fucking thing sucks. Yep. Oh, somebody. Yee-haw-haw-haw-haw.

No, we're good. We're good. Yee-haw-haw-haw-haw. Is that the voice of? It's. Hey! Oh, no. It's me, the filibuster.

Yee-haw-haw-haw. It's me, the filibuster. So filibuster has surprising Wario energy I have to do my song Filibuster makes me feel good Yep that's the song From the filibuster So what do you want filibuster Well you summoned me here

No I don't think I did Yes you did Didn't you say Joe Manchin's name three times in a mirror? I said it one time in a sentence. Oh. Oh, shit. That's my bad. Also, there's no mirror here.

There's no mirror here. That's on me. Look, I am 216 years old. Okay? My hearing is really bad. It's like shit. I mean, you know I am 216 years old. Okay, my hearing is really bad. It's like shit. I mean, you know, you're almost 40. You get it. We're hashtag team millennials.

We both drink Orbitz and remember 9-11. We are not the same. We are not the same. Yes, we are. Why do you have a tricycle? Oh, you know this. Yeah, how about this, huh? Who likes my tricycle? Oh, you noticed. Yeah, how about this, huh? Who likes my tricycle?

Yeah, custom handles, tiny seat for my tiny ass. The guy who sold it to me said it's the same model that the murder puppet from the Saw movies drives. That's cool. Yeah, yeah, pretty cool. So the thing is, I traded

in my truck, my Tacoma Tundra. It was an amazing truck. A lot of space for my Calvin pissing stickers. Yeah, sure. That's what a filibuster would have on their truck. Oh, yeah. And the thing about this truck, it was so great for cutting people

off. Oh, my God. But the thing is, the mileage sucked. I can't afford to filibuster the highways with these gas prices. You can't filibuster the highway with these gas prices. Was that you refusing to turn left on a Bronson from Franklin? You had the yellow.

Two cars are supposed to go, you son of a bitch. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh. What? Now I'm crying. Oh, no. Now I'm crying. Oh, no. Filibuster, what's wrong? Why are you upset?

Can I be vulnerable for a hot second? Sure you can. This is a safe space, right? You bet it is. In front of a crowd of people and, like, a lot of podcast listeners. Okay. I am sick and tired of this. Okay. I am the most famous Senate rule in the world

and I have never been more unpopular. People keep screaming that I don't deserve to exist. Do you have any idea how that feels? Yes, I've angered the K-Hive before. That was dumb. That was dumb.-Hive before. That was dumb. That was dumb. Yeah, it was.

That was dumb moves. Those people don't forget. Look, whenever Republicans shoot down bills that would improve people's lives, it's old Phil that takes the heat. Everybody hates me. And you know what? I get it. I hate myself, too.

Filibuster. Some days I wake up in Kristen Sinema's long, long arms and I barely have the energy to help her pick out her mod cloth outfit. Quite an image.

But I'm sure you have some positive qualities. You encourage partisan cooperation quite an image. But I'm sure you have some positive qualities. You know, you encourage partisan cooperation. That's a load of dog shit! And you know it! Getting in the way of raising the minimum wage was

one thing, but preventing the Senate from codifying abortion rights? Yuck! Getting in the way of raising the minimum wage was one thing? Yeah! I suck, I know! I suck! I mean, look at me! And if you're listening on a podcast,

listen to me! I'm wearing suspenders. I'm like those high school kids who think they have an old soul. That is what you're like. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. I'm pathetic.

I'm everything men do instead of go to therapy. Which, speaking of, I have recently started therapy. Shout out Dr. Pagorni. Shout out Dr. Pagorni. Everybody needs therapy, filibuster. That's right. My therapist, Dr. Pagorni. Shout out Dr. Pagorni. Everybody needs therapy, filibuster.

That's right. My therapist, Dr. Pagorni, he thinks I should spend more time exploring things I really love. Yes. Like getting in line at a grocery store and being like, oh, I forgot something. Oh, I'm so embarrassing.

Do you mind if I go back and get it? And then just like come come back with an onion. Or attending a crowded Q&A and then saying something like, actually, I have more of a comment. Or making artists make songs that are eight minutes long. Who needs an eight minute long song?

Nobody. I mean, I guess I want that for you. That way you aren't fucking up the future of our entire country. Just someone's specific week. But look, filibuster, today is a good day. Joe Manchin got on board. Everything's going the Democrats way, sort of, momentarily. No one's even thinking about you. You can go ahead

and get the hell out of here. No, John. No. I came here because something needs to be done before I get brought up again on this beautiful day, this date of, insert

date here, on this beautiful 80 degree day. Yep, that's a day for sure. Yeah, I don't know. John, I need you to kill me. What? That's right. I mean, considering how many gun control

bills you've blocked over the years, it won't be too hard, but not me. Kill me, John. John. You know what you're giving me? You know that scene in the fourth Aliens movie where Sigourney Weaver comes across herself as like a half alien half person in the little kind of, yeah. You and me?

Yeah. You're like, kill me. That's the energy. Kill me. I couldn't hurt a fly, filibuster. Oh, come on. Wait, first of all, I don't actually mean to kill me. That would be terrible, okay?

Wait, first of all, I don't actually mean to kill me. That would be terrible, okay? Just I need the Senate to put me out of my misery, okay? End this waking hell that is my life. Well, we want to kill you. We want to kill you dead, but we just don't have the votes we need right now. I know. I know.

Honestly, I think I've caused so much mayhem. People forget I'm not even a rule. They think I'm some unstoppable, unchangeable force. They get so exhausted focusing on me and my best friends, Joe Manchin and Kristen Sinema. I seem insufferable. What do you seem? I seem insurmountable. Insurmountable?

With this nose, you can't really see the word that's in front of you. Uh-huh. You seem insurmountable. Yeah. People get desperate. They go wild with it and start blaming all the Democrats or the White House or whoever. As if any of them can do anything while I'm going nuts like an orangutan in an ikea and no not like that cute monkey with the coat i'm talking like full-on monkey throwing shit

and then someone's like uh sir can you not throw feces and rip bathroom fixtures out of the wall no this is biden's fault i mean look at the protesters who set up camp in Chuck Schumer's office. They were in their feelings, those kids. Oh, yeah, it was embarrassing. As if that guy has some kind of governing superpower he's been hiding this entire time. Do you know what Chuck Schumer's superpower is? No, what's Chuck Schumer's superpower? It's ordering two soups for lunch in front of his co-workers

and feeling zero shame about it. This is my impression of Chuck Schumer rallying the troops. You want to hear it? Yeah, let's hear it. I'm angry. I'm furious. This will not stand. All right.

Wake up, Chuck! That was pretty good. That was pretty good. Phil Buster, what do you expect me to do? I'd strangle you to death right here in front of everybody if I could. Oh, thank you, John. That means a lot.

But this is the thing. You do have that power. You all do. That's right. Yes. Someone guessed. You have the power. You have the power.

You have the power. That's right. We're getting to the message. I only lord over Congress because 50 senators agree I should have an insane amount of power. Elect two more Dems and I can finally leave you alone. Wouldn't that be nice? Yes. This is like the movie Aladdin

where if your final wish is granting the genie freedom, you know? Yes. It's just like Aladdin minus the fun and the magic and the songs. And if Ted Cruz recited Green Eggs and Ham to get the genie to block Obamacare. God damn it.

That stinks. Yeah. We hate him. He sucks. He's like literally barf. He's like walking barf. The man is barf. He's barf, people.

Ted Cruz is literal barf. Ted Cruz is barf. Ted Cruz is barf. All right. Ted Cruz is barf. All right. All right, Philip. That's a t-shirt. That's a t-shirt. Put it on the side. All right. Ted Cruz is barf. All right, Philip. That's a t-shirt.

It's a t-shirt. Look, Joe Manchin changed his mind, and this new package has got a lot of good stuff there. Climate change, energy, health care. Maybe it'll all work out, Phil. Maybe we don't have to kill you after all. Maybe things will start going our way. Hmm. Sure. Yeah, okay.

Until the next bill. Or until Joe Manchin changes his mind or cinema's out. Then we're back at square one. Huh? And in the meantime, Joe Manchin gets everything he wants. He gets to be the hero and give this big old dramatic speech about the danger of inflation and domestic spending all while the seas

start to boil. Literally! Remember when that ocean was on fire? What the fuck? And the rest of our elected officials have to stand by with their thumbs up their asses, hoping beyond hope that one senator continues to give more of a shit about the future

of our country than what some rich white man in West Virginia tell him over a three-soup dinner. No one should have that much power, John. Not Joe Manchin. Not me. Maybe someone like Jeff Probst. I don't know. That guy rules.

I just started watching Survivor. It's like awesome But definitely not me Not you No What's the answer Phil? What do we do filibuster?

Well I need to say something And I want all eyes on me All eyes on filibuster And you'll put music under this right? We'll put a nice music bed under it for sure In post Awesome

Not from you Just shut the fuck? We'll put a nice music bed under it for sure in post. Awesome. Not from you, you fool. Just shut the fuck up. We'll edit it in so it's professional. Thank you for bringing the lights down. They'll get an antsy. America. It's a me.

The filibuster. The Wario thing. Hee hee. Ha ha. I know we haven't always been on the same side. You wanting to pass civil rights legislation. Me wanting to spike it down immediately like a volleyball. This happens a bunch of times.

No, not the volleyball part. That was a metaphor. But now we are all on the same side of hating my stupid guts. So I'm begging you, please, do whatever you can from now until November to push me into death's warm embrace. Please vote for senators who will send my sorry, tiny ass to the grave. I don't want to be here anymore. I want that sweet, warm embrace of death. Give it to me.

Give it to me. You heard the filibuster. Do the work. Send him to hell now while morale is high. Filibuster, thank you for stopping by. You're so welcome. I hope we never see you again. And before I go, I just got to tell you that I clogged the toilet backstage. Get out of here.

You're the worst. Let's just say legislation's not the only thing that's passed. Oh, my goodness. Get out of here. Oh, no. Leaving on a shit joke. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Ah!

Ah! Bye! The Filibuster, what a what a shit one more time for yoni check out his award-winning short film nyc tips and tricks on vimeo and low stakes bi-monthly comedy show at the gutter in williamsburg brooklyn when we come back we hardly knew who we were up. Thank you. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back!

Tonight, we have someone who's made television history this summer by writing the first transgender character on a Disney show. Pretty cool. Joining me now is the wonderful Nori Reid. Thanks for being here. I'm so excited to be here. So you write for the show, the Disney show Raven's Home,

and there was an episode that introduced the network's first transgender character, Nikki, played by the actress Juliana Joel. Who I believe is here? Juliana? Hi. Oh, hi. What? Oh, my God.

Thanks for being here. Can you just talk a little bit about what it took to get that character written and then on the air? You know, I first had to transition. Step one. you know I first had to transition step one no it was really cool because I worked with two show runners who were kind of all in when it came

to LGBTQ representation and so when we were thinking about side characters and supporting characters for the show Raven needed a design assistant like a fashion assistant and I thought, fashion, gay. And so, yeah, yeah. And that is how I pitched it.

But they were so in and quickly it became this kind of Karen-esque character from Will and Grace who so battered her job, but heart of gold and kind of took off, yeah. And did you get any trouble from Walt Disney's frozen head? Who would probably be baffled by a lot of what's happening. Yes. He did.

He gave you some trouble. The things that that head said. Yeah. I haven't researched this a lot, but Walt Disney was trans. I'm losing my job. No, trans. I'm losing my job. No, no. I'm losing my job. And a lot of people don't know that.

Yeah. But people are talking about it more and more. Spread it. Spread it around. All right. Well, yeah. Nori. You're part of a historic television first.

This week, actress, pioneer, and absolute legend Nichelle Nichols passed away at the age of 89. As one of the first black women to be a television regular, the Star Trek star broke ground for black people on television and spent decades of her life helping usher people of color into positions at NASA. To celebrate groundbreaking TV moments with yet another TV groundbreaker. Nori, get ready to play a game we're calling

Yes We Can. Yes. All right. Are you ready? What beloved 90s sitcom featured the first lesbian wedding on television? Is it Ellen? It is not. It was Friends

with the wedding of Ross's ex-wife, Carol. Yes, yes. And Susan, partner Susan. They weren't nice to Ross. I think they could have been nicer to him, but nobody was nice to Ross. It's because he's the hero. He is.

Ross is the hero of friends, and it's time we face it. Chandler had one joke, which was, I'm not gay. Am I? Nori, which early sitcom contains television's first pregnancy storyline? You know, I thought there would be choices. Yeah, this is really hard, actually. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You don't know that it's 1947's Mary Kay and Johnny? You know, that was right there. Which incorporated Mary Kay Stearns' actual 1948 pregnancy? Yes. Oh, my God. I forgot. Yes. Do you know that Mary Kay and Johnny was also the first show to feature a married couple with only one bed?

Yeah. We all knew that. All of you knew that. How old were you when you found out that the two-bed thing was just a TV thing and that people were sleeping in one bed at the time? I was old. Are you finding out right now, sir?

People slept, they slept in one bed at the time. They weren't actually sleeping in two twin beds. That was just TV nonsense. I think... Nori, quit dodging these questions. Okay. Which 1950s sitcom about a clean-cut suburban family

showed the first on-screen toilet? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'll give you a hint. I'll give you three choices. Thank you. Was it The Donna Reed Show, My Three Sons, or Leave it to Beaver? Well, you know, there's no choices on this fucking card. I'm just pulling from Nick and Knight loneliness. Just pulling from not having anywhere to go during high school.

Is it Leave it to Beaver? You got it. Oh! Yes! It was actually the first on-screen toilet tank because CBS objected to showing the full toilet. What a fucked up culture. Can't show a full toilet.

People will revolt. It was a scene where Wally and Beaver hit a baby alligator in the toilet tank. But, Nora, you could tell there was a bowl attached. Yeah. Which First Lady hosted the first ever televised tour of the White House? Was it Lady Bird Johnson, Mimi Eisenhower,

or Jackie Kennedy? Was it maybe the first one? I see. No, actually. Because I just thought of that one first, then searched for Mimi and it's actually Jackie Kennedy. In 1962. Do you want me to do my

impression of Jackie Kennedy doing the tour of the White House? I'm going to do it right now. Here we go. Well, here we have a chair. It's a lovely chair. Jack loves to come and sit in the chair. Sometimes he'll read in the chair. We'll be here at night with the children by the fire.

It's a lovely old, it's an old, it's an old, old chair. And over here we have a piano. It's an old, very old chair. And over here we have a piano. It's an old, very old piano. We had brought in, it's been in the White House before, but then it wasn't here, and now it's back. That's it.

Incredible. That was really good. Are there any, like, Real Housewives questions? Or, like... The soap opera Another World featured TV's first abortion storyline. Oh my God.

Did that episode happen before or after Roe v. Wade? Ooh, that's really... These are people shouting with confidence things they're wrong about. Because the answer is before. It's before. In 1964. Why were you guys like, after?

Interesting, right? A lot of stuff happened during daytime, you know? Yeah, like, just don't talk again. I'm trying to tell you. Nori. In what decade was American TV's first gay couple? I'm telling to tell you. Nori. In what decade was American TV's first gay couple? I'm telling you, wait. Gay couple on TV, America, when?

What decade? Yes, yes, okay. Yes. Was it the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, or the 90s? I'm going to say 80s. It was actually the 70s. Oh my God. Specifically in 1975's Hot L Baltimore, which aired with a disclaimer due to say 80s. It was actually the 70s. Oh my God. Specifically in 1975's Hot El Baltimore,

which aired with a disclaimer due to its mature themes. What was the actual first interracial kiss on US broadcast television? That's it. There's no hints. On which of these three shows was the first interracial kiss? Was it The Ed Sullivan Show, Laugh-In, or Star Trek?

It was Star Trek. Incorrect. What? It's William Shatner. It wasn't Kirk and Uhura as much as Nichelle Nichols kicks ass and as much as William Shatner does not. That famous kiss is also non-consensual

in the context of alien telekinesis, which is kind of fucked up and also, of course, how America wound up with one of their first interracial kisses. In reality, the earliest televised interracial kiss on US TV was in a 1958 episode of The Ed Sullivan Show, and it was

between France Nguyen, an Asian woman promoting her Broadway show, The World of Suzy Wong, and William Shatner. Wow! Wow! That man, William Shatner, Oh! Wow. So, that man, William Shatner, long before Priceline,

was just wandering around making historic television, making out with women of color. Twice. Wow. Isn't that wild? That is wild. He didn't even know he was making history. No, he didn't.

He was just kissing. He was just making out. He was just into it. Have you watched a lot of Star Trek? I don't. Star Wars? I have. You see the trailer for the one with the hot guy from Rogue One?

The hot guy from... Andor. You see the trailer for Andor? Is that recent? No. What's your favorite Star Wars film? I actually really like Jar Jar Binks. No.

What's your favorite Star Wars film? I actually really like Jar Jar Binks. I thought he was kind of fun. You know that there's this theory that Jar Jar Binks was supposed to be evil and that there was supposed to be a big twist in a later movie where it was going to be revealed that Jar Jar Binks was secretly a Sith Lord. So the theory goes that basically revealed that Jar Jar Binks was secretly a Sith Lord. So the theory goes that basically he introduces Jar Jar Binks and then what was supposed to happen is, oh, he's so silly, so annoying. Oh, that's Jar Jar Binks. And then in the second movie, there was not going

to be some Count Dooku nonsense. It was going to be a twist that they revealed that Jar Jar Binks was pulling the strings the whole time. But because the reception to Jar Jar Binks was so bad, George Lucas abandoned his plans. This theory is called Darth Jar Jar. However, I was once invited to a birthday party for a celebrity, and at that party, there was George Lucas. And so I went up to George Lucas, and I said, I'm sorry, but I'm going to ask you Star Wars questions now. And he said...

And... people tried to stop me. But I don't need to be invited to anything again. And so I said, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you this. And I ran him through the whole theory. And he looked at me like I was the dumbest motherfucker alive. No, no, no, no. Ew, no, like no fucking way.

No, never thought of it, never heard about it, never aware of it, no, no, no, like no fucking way. No, never thought of it, never heard about it, never aware of it. No, no, no. Nice try, George. Wouldn't that have been cool, though, if in the second movie Jar Jar Binks turned out to be evil and was pulling the strings? It would have been fucking cool. Like a whole accent change and everything, like British.

Yes. He's like, actually, this is my real voice. I'm Jar Jar Binks. I would have ruled. Yeah. I would have fucking ruled. Jar Jar Binks is like, these are Death Stars are fully operational.

All right. Yes. You can't do the voices. They're all fucking racist. What was the first primetime sitcom to feature an Asian-American cast? Oh. Is it All-American Girl?

Yes! You got it. It's Margaret Cho's sitcom All-American Girl. What was the first primetime sitcom to feature an Asian-American cast to run for more than one season? Is it Fresh Off the Boat? You bet it is.

Ah! Yes. What 90s teen drama featured the first gay kiss between two men on primetime television? 90s gay kiss primetime. Was it 90210, Dawson's Creek,

One Tree Hill, or Party of Five? Party of Five. It was Dawson's Creek. Damn. Oh, the VHS tapes I destroyed watching that bad boy. I bet they couldn't even come apart. Thanks, Nori. When Walt confided in you that he was trans,

what'd you say? I said, wow. Because I just, just you know i just want to take it in yeah and then i held a little space i said you know when you want to show someone that you're holding space you go and then and then what? And then And he finds a frozen head Yeah In a big kind of container store style Yep

Closet container Exactly With on ice I assume Less ice than you think Nori Reed everybody You've won the game Go watch Raven's Home We come back

Whatever We're going to wrap this bad boy up And we're back Go watch Raven's Home. We come back. Whatever. We're going to wrap this bad boy up. And we're back. Now it's time for some hot takes. But before we do, if you would like to help get women around the country registered to vote and enjoy being caffeinated, you'll be just as excited as I am because yesterday, Crooked Coffee launched a new product, the cold brewer. It's a sleek bottle that makes brewing your own cold brew at home super easy. Portion goes to register her to mobilize

women in underrepresented communities to get registered to vote and have their voices heard. Both the dark and medium whataday roasts are perfect for a cold brew. So get your cold brewer now at crooked.com slash coffee. We're selling coffee! And you buy it. And now it's time for a segment we call

Hot Takes. Please welcome back to the stage Nori and Kara. Welcome back. Thanks for being here. Now it's time for a segment we call Hot Takes. Here's how it works. We'll each have 30 seconds to defend something we've never seen that's absolutely terrible. We each get one skip, but beware.

If you skip, you may end up with something you like even less. I truly haven't seen these. I haven't seen yours. I truly, genuinely go into these completely blind to the point where sometimes we have to have a conversation after about what's funny and what's too much. You know? We sometimes have to have that conversation. It's important.

Let's see what we have this week. I thought this was going to be us eating chicken wings. I misunderstood. You did. You did misunderstand. Hot takes. Okay, hot takes. I'll admit it.

I didn't like Break My Soul as a single. Skip. 100% skip. This says I was the best looking one on Colbert. It's an old saying that I've made up, which is musicians want to be comedians. Comedians want to be musicians. It has been one of the great experiences to build Crooked Media

with my two great friends, my two best friends, John and Tommy, and to be told over and over again that John and Tommy are so handsome and, love it, you're so funny. And that is why I get so fucking skinny to go on Colbert. End of hot take. You are the best looking one! All right. Did somebody just throw their underwear on the stage?

Oh my God. This audience is so horny for you. It was the skirt. Let's see what's next. 30-somethings who earnestly watch the Disney Channel reboots of their favorite childhood shows need to find a hobby. Girl meets world, girl find a friend.

Nori, do you want this one? Skip. Nori, you would rather walk around naked than buy and wear clothes from Target. Take it away. Listen, Target's good for a lot of things, right? We go to Target for a lot of household things, a lot of delicious foods, a lot of things, right? We go to Target for a lot of household things, a lot of delicious foods,

a lot of decorative items for our home. But when it comes to clothes on this body, I'm going somewhere else. And that's because small businesses right now in America are really struggling. And I am a democratic socialist, and I really believe in supporting my local community through mutual aid. Nice.

Great job, Nori. Let's see what's next. It was cute the first few times Ali Wong did it, but I think we can all agree that we're sick of seeing pregnant women do stand-up. Jesus Christ, Kendra. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah, I fucking have two kids and I just stand up pregnant and no one

cares and it sucks. Stop doing it, okay? You're just trying to get attention and you know, the microphone waves are bad for the baby and I just don't think that's just, go put your feet up.

You're growing a person inside of you. No one needs to hear your... I don't know. That was great. No one needs to hear your item. Let's see what's next. Who wrote this? Who fucking wrote this?

Wearing a wrinkled shirt on headshot day as a company founder sends the right message. Let's cut this. Skip. I can't believe you guys have picture day. We do. We have picture day today. Wow.

I didn't think it was that wrinkled. And also, my theory, leave this in. It's my show. I don't need to listen to the timer. It's my cock. When you put on a wrinkled T-shirt, your body warms it up and de-wrinkles it. Wow.

Right? Who agrees that T-shirts de-wrinkle on the body? Thank you. Nori, do you agree? Delusional. Yeah, like, you know how your dryer has, like, a wrinkle release setting? I don't think that's, like, your body. Body heat.

Let's see what's next. Nori, HBO Max has not gone far enough. Yeah, and I'm going to tell you why. HBO Max, HBO Min. You know what I mean? Hello. This is supposed to be the cutting edge of TV. And yet, here we are, and there's no show that centers me.

And representation is really important, specifically Nori Reid representation. And they're really not doing a really good job on that front. And it's frankly, I won't even say it, but you know what I mean. Nice. Let's see what's next. All of the good podcasts have been made.

Stomp, we don't need any more. Kara, take it away. Well, I still have a skip. What do you mean? I mean, I can do this. Yeah. Listen, we've made all the good podcasts. We're done.

We need to move on to something else. I don't know what it's going to be. I don't know what the final frontier is in entertainment, but I don't need to hear any more white ladies talking about murder. There's so many podcasts, guys. I have one, and I'm stopping it, because that's how much I agree

with this statement. My podcast is over! You heard it here first. Nice. Let's do one more. Are you... I'm gonna read this one, and I want to just let you know, this is why when I said earlier that sometimes we have to have a conversation after about what kind

of hot takes are acceptable. If it were me, I would just not travel internationally with drugs. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm not doing this. First of all, I do travel internationally with drugs. How did you let this through I did skip skipping is dangerous it puts you in a position to talk about something like this

when we come back I'm just simply not doing it when we come back we'll end on a high note and we're back because we all need it here it is the high note i love it my name is andy and i live in tucson arizona which is as you know a battleground state i actually work for the county that tucson is in at the recorder's office doing early voting and voter registration.

I just had my first primary. I worked my first primary election since I started the job last year in August. My one year is actually on Wednesday, August 10th. And the high that I felt walking out the doors after my first successful primary was unlike anything. I'm a huge election and politics junkie. This is like the perfect job for me. I work for an amazing recorder, recorder Gabriela Cáceres Kelly. She's doing wonderful work, and I couldn't be more proud to be there. Thank you.

Hey, love it. be more proud to be there. Thank you. Hey, love it. This is Kelly in Oklahoma. And I called a little over a year ago and left a message that I was hopefully doing my last chemotherapy treatment. And so my high note this week is that was my last chemotherapy treatment. And I have been officially cancer free for a year now, which is super exciting. And I still have to go and do scans and blood work every three months, but I hit that one-year mark. So now my husband and my wonderful children and I, we are focused on the five-year mark. Anyway, keep up the great work, and we love listening to you every week. Bye.

Hi, John Lovett. This is Jess in Roland Park, Kansas. I wanted to leave a high note this week. I got to vote early in Kansas and voted no. And I got my boyfriend to vote for the very first time ever. And he voted no as well. And I'm very excited. I will actually be an election worker this Tuesday for the August 2nd elections.

And I'm hoping to see a great turnout and that we get a vote no in Kansas. So, yeah, thanks for all you do. Bye. I love it. My name is Craig from Hawaii. And my high note is that my soon-to-be eight-year-old, after reading several books on Ruth Bader Ginsburg, came to us and asked us that if we could help her establish a Ruth Bader Ginsburg Day. She feels she needs a national holiday, which we completely support. So we established a Change.org account to try to establish Ruth Bader Ginsburg's own official holiday every year. We're reaching out to let you guys know about this and hoping that your listeners would support such an endeavor. Again, thank you very much.

Have a good day. Hey, Levitt. This is Ashlyn from Vancouver, BC. My high note this week is my best friend, Christina. We went to college together and graduated about six years ago. She is such a sweet, gentle, empathetic person. And for a while after college, she was working jobs that weren't that good for her. They were taking advantage of her and she was kind of struggling

to find her purpose in life. But a couple of years ago, she realized she wanted to become a teacher and everything just kind of clicked. She got into the teaching program at our alma mater, UC Santa Cruz, and she just graduated. She also got a teaching position for the upcoming school year, and it's at the elementary school where she went when she was a kid. Anyway, I know she's anxious to do a good job, but she's going to be an amazing teacher, and I just could not be more proud of her. We both love your show, so thank you so much for all you do. Bye. And thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 213-262-4427.

That is our show. Thank you so much to Yoni, Cara Clank, and Nora Reed, and everybody who sent in a high note. There are 94 days until the midterm elections. Have a great weekend. Love or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our senior producer, and Brian Semel is our producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor, and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer.

Claire Fogarty is our production intern, working on the show for the summer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Narmal Konian, Zuri Irvin, and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can.