Lovett or Leave It - Five Alarm Breyer

Episode Date: January 29, 2022

The pod pops the cork on another house party at Lovett’s place, where West Elm Caleb (as played by River Butcher) stops by to ruin the vibe; Lindsay Adams and Brendan Scannell parse through the pettiest moments in presidential history; producer Kendra James answers the tough questions about her new book, Admissions; and a new batch of Hot Takes takes us into some truly jaw-dropping territory, all while Pundit is on unofficial trash duty.  And we’re back... on tour that is! Join Lovett and friends on the road for Lovett or Leave It: Live or Else. Get tickets & learn more: crooked.com/eventsGeneral onsale: January 28 at 10 am local timeFor a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Thank you. Please, please, please. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, coming to you live from a sold-out show at Madison Square Garden, is how I'd start the show if that were true. But alas, I'm mere yards away from where I lay my weary and perfect head to sleep. But what makes tonight different from all other nights? Well, we've got Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. That's right, West Elm Caleb is here.

And he's got some splaying to do. Plus, Brendan Scannell and Lindsay Adams walk us through petty presidential history. Producer Kendra wrote a book that you should buy. Pundit is literally barking because I didn't let her out. And everyone has to handle whatever hot takes are thrown their way. But first, do you want to open pundit? There's no solution. Did it work?

Did she come? Yay. It's okay. Oh, my God. Yeah. All right. Let's get into it. Wow.

That's pretty awesome. Let's get into it. Wow, that's pretty awesome. Let's get into it. What a week. Yeah, pundit everybody, that is a show dog. That's awesome. Just so narcissistic. Why am I not out first? I'm the first guest.

I'm the first guest. I've been in this business a long time. On Thursday, Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer officially announced that he will be retiring at the end of the court's current term. Breyer explained, I figured I'd stop working after Roe does. I'm very sorry.

What a way to bring, in hindsight, we knew that would bring everybody down. During Breyer's announcement event, President Biden promised to stand by his pledge to nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court. The announcement, of course, inspired speculation about which black woman could potentially fill Breyer's shoes. Personally, I'm hoping for Kamala Harris because while I like the Constitution, I love the drama. To anyone from the Cahive listening, I don't know what you want me to be for in this specific instance, but I am for that.

Of course, conservatives are already working themselves into a frenzy over Biden's pick, who again, he has not named, tweeted Missouri Senator Josh Hawley. If he chooses to nominate a left-wing activist who will bless his campaign against parents, his abuse of the FBI, his refusal to enforce our immigration laws, and his lawless vaccine mandates, expect a major battle in the Senate. If you're not familiar with Biden's campaign against parents, do your own research. I, for one, find it pretty troubling that both of Biden's parents just so happen to be dead. Stephen Breyer's retirement is also people once again ruminating on whether Ruth Bader Ginsburg should have also retired earlier, a move which would have allowed Dems to appoint a new justice. But of course, that's all water under

the bridge. Water will be bare knuckle brawling over after the Supreme Court narrows the Clean Water Act once more. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court agreed on Monday to hear cases challenging affirmative action at Harvard and UNC, potentially endangering programs designed to foster a racially diverse student body. We don't know where this will go, but Justice Roberts recently tweeted, bring back the old gossip girl so it's not a great sign. At a Washington, D.C. rally, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave an unhinged rant comparing vaccine mandates unfavorably to Nazi Germany. You can hide in an attic like Anne Frank did. I visited in 1962 East Germany with my father and met people who had climbed the wall and escaped. So it was possible. Many died throwing it, but it was possible. Did he not understand why Anne Frank's diary

had an ambiguous ending? Did he think it was like an inception situation where you draw your own conclusions? Afterwards, RFK Jr.'s wife, Curb Your Enthusiasm star Cheryl Hines, took to Twitter to distance herself from her husband's comments while at the same time informing everyone

that they are married. to distance herself from her husband's comments while at the same time informing everyone that they are married. I'm sure people knew I was not one of them. That was new. Love is fascinating. Can't change her conception. You can know she's married to RFK Jr.,

but still in your heart, she is married to Larry David. Said Cheryl Hines, my husband's opinions are not a reflection of my own. While we love each other, we differ on many current issues. And then she went further, saying, the atrocities that millions endured during the Holocaust should never be compared to

anyone or anything except how he fucks. No, she didn't. That was a tough one, too. Some toughies in here. Some hard ones to get through. I do regret that. It's a terrible thing to say. Anyway, after Cheryl decided to roast her dumb husband on Twitter, like she's a politician who needs to put out a public statement,

everyone told her to divorce him, which was very annoying. And then RFK Jr. apologized for his comments. So why put out a statement of your own first? These are such bad decisions. But when your emergency contact is the worst Kennedy, maybe you don't have the best judgment. He apologized for his Holocaust comments. His opinions are monstrous.

He is a terrible person. Oh, the metaphor was unacceptable. The metaphor, you're killing people. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin's COVID diagnosis will... The dumbest of times. These are the dumbest of times. Our enemies are so dangerous and so stupid. So dumb, so menacing.

Sarah Palin's COVID diagnosis will delay the start of her defamation trial against The Times. The judge announced it, said she is, of course, unvaccinated. What a stupid son of a bitch. We're going to start using that Biden clip like a morning zoo radio show. We're going to also try to maybe, we're considering having that and a boing. It's the Biden button. Brian, hit that Biden button.

What a stupid son of a bitch. That's the least hot mic, hot mic moment of all time. He is at a podium looking at the audience. What kind of hot mic is that? What are we talking about? In an open letter, Neil Young demanded Spotify remove his music over false information about vaccines disseminated on the platform.

Writes the singer, you can have Rogan or Young, not both, but you can also have Young Rogan, the all-new coming-of-age sitcom, coming this fall to CBS. For the record, I am not discussing the show and just like that again. We've done it too many times in a row. But because we did talk about it, Jossie Kaufman, one of our writers,

started watching Sex and the City from the very beginning. And while unfortunately we're unable to have a conversation about it, Jossie is here right now. Jossie, please join us for one moment. We have to have a conversation about it jossie is here right now jossie please join us for one moment we have to have a very important uh very important exchange jossie is here for one reason one reason only hi jossie hello uh i understand you've perfected a certain impression of of of miranda's uh uh schlubby husband oh yeah named steve yeah so i'm part of the steve hive and I I did bring a prop for the podcast

those are glasses she's putting on glasses she's becoming Steve okay becoming Steve becoming Steve Miranda Miranda I'm doing it I'm starting the bar yes Jossie Kaufman. That was incredible. I drove from the east side to do that. I'm so sorry. I love that impression. That's awesome. Poor Steve. Daniel Craig did a variety Actors on Actors interview with Javier Bardem, unaware his forehead was bleeding, the result of a collision with his ring light. of a collision with his ring light. Christ, I didn't even look at it. So they've sent me this wonderful ring flash, which I've set up with an iPad in the middle of it. And I went like this, like that, and it just fell on my head just before. A couple points about this.

All right, first the joke. The name's Bean, Mr. Bean. All right, now that that's out of the way. Two points about this. One, the way actors talk to each other is disgusting and they have a tone with each other that is vulgar and horrible and obscene and shouldn't be allowed second the point is did you catch the part where daniel craig said he didn't look in the mirror before sitting down for an interview that is so handsome like doesn't look in the mirror didn't

check himself before sitting down for the fucking interview. He was bleeding from the head. I thought that was cool. I don't have a joke. I just thought it was cool. Peter Dinklage has a problem with Disney's new live action remake of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, specifically the part about dwarves. You're progressive in one way, but you're still making that f***ing backward story of seven dwarves living in a cave.

What the f*** are you doing, man? In response, Disney said the film has a different approach, and they have been consulting with members of the dwarfism community to avoid reinforcing stereotypes from the original animated film. Dinklage rules, and this is like a broader issue with some of these remakes.

They update to a diverse cast or they add like one tweak, like Cinderella has a small business. Then the politics are still despicable, you know? It's still about like finding true love and becoming a princess. And it's like, sack the castle. Kill the royals. According to a report from Vice, the recent first ever genetically modified pig to human heart transplant

was made possible by a solution that contained a small amount of cocaine. The head surgeon explained, and I have an idea for a restaurant that's themed like a hospital, and what about Uber but for a zoo? Because he has his best ideas on cocaine. Some of them are good. What is an Uber for a zoo?

You're not against it. Censors have given Chinese audiences a different ending to the film Fight Club, which just arrived on the country's largest streamer, Tencent Video, concluding with an end card that reads, the police rapidly figured out the whole plan and arrested all criminals, successfully preventing the bomb from exploding. After the trial, Tyler was sent to lunatic asylum, receiving psychological treatment.

He was discharged from the hospital in 2012. And his dying words were, the Uyghurs are fine, enjoy the Olympics. It's a night of tough ones. Thankfully, authorities located all the missing lab monkeys that escaped from a truck crash in Pennsylvania, but Jordan Peterson somehow still made it on time to his roguish appearance. And finally, Washington State issued an emergency order as they attempt to fight back an infestation of European green crabs. When asked where the crabs came from, Washington State got weirdly defensive and said,

I don't know, probably a toilet seat. When we come back, West Elm Caleb. And we're back. As at Maple Cococaine1 said, each day on Twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it. Well, you are in luck because we have one of the Internet's recent main characters. That's right.

Welcome to the show, the villain of the week. It's West Elm Caleb, everybody. West Elm Caleb, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here, West Elm Caleb. Like this couch, John? Where'd you get this shit? Wayfair.com? West Elm Caleb. Like this couch, John? Where'd you get this shit? Wayfair.com?

I don't... Ah, West Elm Caleb. Don't you start with me. You should be trying to get yourself some good press. Not insult my perfect, nice Target outdoor couch. Oh, Target, all right. We've had to read about you all week. You ghosted a bunch of dates.

Right. Then those dates posted about you on TikTok. Then the algorithm connected those women to each other because like all algorithms, TikTok's algorithm is a messy bitch who lives for drama. You're a fool, John. What? You're an absolute fool.

I only came to continue my reign of absolute terror. Terrified. Disseminating my evil into ears of every one of your young, nubile listeners. Oh, brother. What do you think's in this water? Think about it. Oh, my goodness.

Reign of terror indeed. Sounds like you're a little self-important if you ask me. Yes, John. Dating multiple people at once. While living in New York City? Holy shit, have you ever heard of anyone doing anything more perverse in your entire life? Almost every day. You know, I read BuzzFeed's write-up about your title.

Caleb from West Elm is bad at dating, but probably didn't deserve to be pushed through the TikTok meat grinder. And mostly it just seems like you're a 20-something who, well, just kind of sucks a bit. And did we all need to know that? Sucks? Sucks like a fox, John! Don't think that means anything. Absolutely no one has reached the heights of depravity that I have.

Really. Absolutely. Setting up several hinge dates for one weekend? Jesus Christ. Even saying that almost made me vomit, and I'm West Elm Caleb. Caleb, can i call you just caleb john absolutely not okay would you drop the captain and call him planet or crunch i don't think so i guess not i mean maybe if he was a guest of the pod look west elm caleb i feel like

you're going viral on tiktok has really flattened an important conversation because while you did a bunch of generally not great stuff you also did some gross things that we do need to address. Like recycle the same Spotify podcast for multiple women? I told you, John, I'm basically Bane, but for dating. You know, minus all those people Bane killed. No, I mean, that absolutely does suck. But I'm talking about the part where you sent unsolicited nudes. The problem with these viral relationship stories, West Elm Caleb,

is that we lose any distinction between what is appropriate and harmful and what is just a person who is bad at dating. That entire app is obsessed with them. Oh, I'm downright abominable at dating, John. There are two ferries in the harbor right now. Oh, no. With all of your Amazon orders. What?

One message for my cellular phone. It is a cellular phone, by the way. It goes to my pager, then back to my phone, then back to the fairies. To the fairies? Back to the fairies? Back to the fairies. Wow.

Back to my phone, back to the fairies. That message goes to those fairies. All hell will break loose. Did you plant two bombs like in the Dark Knight? Oh, no. Even worse. I'm just going to text two text two women you up and see who replies and they both live on staten island anyway you're awful uh however west on caleb did you deserve to be doxxed your photo your number even your address got leaked someone even reportedly shouted at you while you were

waiting in line for a COVID test. Which, you know, is ironic since you'd think I should be getting tested more than anyone. I get COVID. Good luck contact tracing. Might as well just write entire eastern seaboard and save yourself some time. Plus, of course, I'm anti-vax. What? No, I'm a fuckboy

with a mustache in New York City. We're all vaxed. It's really bad luck on the TikTok algorithm. Connecting your contacts to one another, potentially showing the women saved in your phone each other's videos. I mean, of course I'd be brought low by my greatest enemy. Any form of communication!

Now I need a burner phone to get my dick wet. Oh, God. God damn it. You're gross. Yuck. I say yuck to you. I say yuck. Oh, yes. I'm so terrible. Horrible. Yuck. I say yuck to you. I say yuck. Oh, yes. I'm so terrible.

Horrible. No good. Because we all respond to incentives and take advantage of the twisted, disposable intimacy the internet makes possible for people with very symmetrical faces on the hunt for sex without consequences. Oh, yes. I'm the problem. I ghosted you.

Because when we went out for a drink at one of those places that uses one big ice cube and charges 20 for a moscow mule and then had sex it was actually some kind of first look deal where i could date another women but you had right of first refusal oh i'm the asshole of course but that tells you all you need to know. You didn't have sex with me because you knew me. You had sex with me because you didn't. Oh my god. What a villain. What a long chunk of a paragraph

too. That was so much dialogue. A lot of dialogue that I didn't read before. It's so good. It was so good. And the point is, you still suck, West Elm Caleb. But before you go, do you have anything you want to plug? Women of New York City, beware.

I'll be menacing Gotham this very weekend with my sidekick, Couch Guy. Oh, no. Not Couch Guy, who was visited by his girlfriend unexpectedly and may have had his hand near someone else on video. That's right. He's practically a serial killer. All right, everybody. It's West Elm Caleb.

Get out of here before we throw an armoire at you. You want Los Angeles? West Elm Caleb, everybody. Thank you so much, River Butcher. Go watch his special... What is this? Do you talk about your handwriting in the book?

Jesus Christ. It's very formal and terrible. I've never seen something so beautiful, so refined and incomprehensible. I didn't know we were still playing my chance. Is it a J or an F? What are these letters? What is this? I can write with a quill.

She can write with a quill. Go watch River's special, Different Kind of Dude, streaming on Comedy Central and YouTube right now. That's right. Yeah, plug it nicely. Thank you. When we come back, we talk to our producer, Kendra,

about a little book that deserves some scrutiny. And we're back. Last week, our show's producer, Kendra Jane, published her first book titled Admissions, a memoir of her experience at boarding school and the racism and emotional turmoil that came with it. But just because we work together and she basically holds the reins of this podcast doesn't mean I'm not willing to ask the hard questions and we take her book to task. I'm above all a journalist and a dog dad. But either way, welcome to Love It or Leave It, Kendra James.

but either way welcome to love it or leave it kendra james hi kendra hello hello i'm glad we're doing it this way because you're my boss and honestly you shouldn't be reading about like who i masturbated to in high school he didn't read it we can tell this is This is how we know. What is happening? There's a lot in that book. And I'm getting the sense that I should never find out. And I think that's great. I think it's win-win. Yeah.

For the next five minutes, Kendra, pretend I'm Leslie Stahl, and you can be whoever you want to be. Say Donald Trump. All right, are you ready? Because there's going to be some hard questions. Indiana's Goshen News says of your new book, which is available wherever books are sold, there's an urgent message inside this book that's essential reading for educators, but it's also just plain enjoyable.

Find admissions. It's a class act. How do you sleep at night? I hate these. This is great. This is the right level. This is the right level. This is the right level. In the review of your new book,

which is again titled Admissions, the New York Times characterizes your authorial voice as swift, charming, and unsurprising. And the book itself is fresh and funny. Don't you think they could have come up with something a little more original than fresh and funny? Lacey, the woman who reviewed it for the New York Times, very kind.

You should also read her book. It's called Notes on Asylencing. Dodging the question. I'll come back to where I started. Isn't there something fresher and funnier for describing something fresh and funny? In their Audible review, which is the first one you see when you download your new book admissions, someone named Yoshi declares, her work is a flaming tower of truth that will live on for generations.

Is that really safe considering the risk of fire in California? In my defense, I think Yoshi may have gone to Taft. That's what I suspect. Wow. Wow. A plant. A plant. According to Town and Country Mag, you personally are a funny, observant writer with a powerful, unforgettable. A plant. A plant. According to Town and Country Mag,

you personally are a funny, observant writer with a powerful, unforgettable story to tell. Town and Country Magazine. They've been very supportive. It's their clientele boarding school. That's their whole thing. That's cool. I'm not as good at follow-ups as the great Leslie Stahl.

Bitch media, which is offensive, said in print, admissions is a memoir of the highest caliber. Jesus Christ. Caliber, like guns? I mean, we've talked about my gun collection. Yeah, that's right. Weirdly enough, you have a gun collection. Historical. Historical guns. we should probably

leave it there one more question one more question and finally last month vote called your story thorough necessary and overdue in their best books of 2022 roundup and i have to ask you how much did you pay anna wintour for that i mean clearly not enough i don't have a met gala invite wow wow all right so let's put that into the universe as well. All right. The book is Admissions. Admissions. Kendra James, thank you so much for being here.

Buy the book. Please buy the book. Buy the book. Really is awesome. Didn't get to the part she had mentioned. He hasn't read it. It's fine. It's fine.

Again, you stay away. It's a lot of Legolas Greenleaf talk. This segment ended like 30 seconds ago, right? Yeah. Bye. Bye, Kendra. Wait, you're saying Legolas? That's cool.

Wow. This is why we work well together. We have a lot in common. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Love It or Leave It, this is very exciting news, is going on tour. It's been two long years, but we have an incredible lineup of shows all across the country.

We're going to some of my favorite cities in Boston. You hear that, Boston? You hear that? You don't like it? Boo me in person. We have an incredible lineup of really funny people at all of these shows all across the country. Tickets are available right now. You can find out where we're headed at crooked.com slash events.

Some of them are selling out already, so get there before it's too late. Also, Pod Save America is going on tour, so come to any of those shows. We really are so excited. Earlier this week, I was happy, really happy for a fleeting moment when President Joseph Biden lashed out at nepotism dictionary entry Peter Doocy. When asked by Doocy, do you think inflation is a political liability in the midterms, hit that Biden button for me. What a stupid son of a bitch. Again, a hot mic moment. Could not be less of a hot mic. Anyway, personally, I felt briefly alive upon hearing that clip, like Frankenstein's monster receiving a bolt of lightning. If Frankenstein's monster was gay and only slightly less afraid of fire, because it's good to be afraid of fire. And it's not an interesting quality that Frankenstein has.

However, like all fun things, Biden's retort inspired a round of grim, reproachful takes. And in the end, the president of the United States called that Lucius Malfoy in men's warehouse and quote, cleared the air. That Lucius Malfoy in men's warehouse. He's wearing it at in the store. Isn't it interesting that the intonation on the in is a difference between whether it sounds like he's wearing it or buying it? Let's break that down. That's interesting to me. Lucius Malfoy in Men's Warehouse, he's wearing the clothes. That Lucius Malfoy in Men's Warehouse

sounds more like he's buying them. You know what I mean? Maybe? Alright. This show's going great. Here to discuss the pluses and minuses of potty mouth politicians, please welcome host of Snack Time with Lindsay Adams, Lindsay Adams, and the Emmy-nominated actor and comedian, Brendan Scannell. How do you both?

Thank you both for being here. Hi, John. Thank you. Hi. Did you feel the same electric thrill when you heard Biden say, stupid son of a bitch? Yeah. Yeah. I was feeling like shades of Eastwood with the chair at the Republican convention where you're sort of like, does this man know he's speaking to a crowd?

I think he thought that if he didn't move his mouth, that for some reason nothing would come out. Like, I think he, like, lost it somehow and was like, if I just don't move my mouth, they won't know what I'm saying. But I'll say the same thing. Yeah, it was a bit like a ventriloquist. He literally didn't move his mouth. It's very funny. The Fox News was like, ah, he's got dementia. And it's like, Joe Biden has been accidentally getting caught cursing people out for 50, literally 50 years.

But what's amazing about this is he is developing that older person's quality of how they just assume everyone's hearing has fallen to their level. During these Democrats, there's this weird thing where because Republicans only care about Republican media, they don't ever have to apologize. But because Democrats care about the mainstream media, we're supposed to be more civil. You know, Trump threatens to shoot Hillary Clinton and it's like par for the course. But Joe Biden lets out a B word. He's got to apologize. I think that's bullshit. Don't you think? Yeah. Well, a B word, too. I like that. Like that's where you chose to the B word. That's of a B word. Yeah, and that's an example of people caring too much. It's like you said,

son of a bitch. And I wish he put the emphasis on bitch. Yeah, it is a very old insult. Yeah, there's just something, very get off my lawn. Yes, yes, yes, yes. He could have gone harder. Honestly, I wish he did.

It's only if you've internalized misogyny do you view it as an insult to Peter Doocy at all. It's really a shot at a woman somewhere in the world. You know what I mean? Exactly. Of course, this isn't the first delightfully petty line a leader of the free world has tossed off. Lindsay and Brendan, I'm going to read a nasty little presidential

quota moment, and I'm going to see if you can guess which president said it. Keep in mind, these might predate the existence of hot mics. No. Are you? Grammophones. All right. First, and either one of you, call it out if you know it.

There's only three things he mentions in a sentence, a noun, a verb, a 9-11. Somebody said this about Rudy Giuliani. It's a good hit. It's a good hit. It's a good hit. Mike Huckabee. It was Joe Biden. Oh, it's a president. Joe Biden said that about,

what an excellent insult that is compared to you, stupid. He could have done better, clearly. Yeah, he has it in him. He has it in him. It's in his arsenal. Next insult from a president. He's a nice guy, but he played too much

football with his helmet off. Hint, it's about Gerald R. Ford, who was House Minority Leader at the time. Oh, is that Nixon? So close. So close. Lyndon B. Johnson. Ugh. Lyndon

B.J. I'm so sorry. Oh, B.J. Excuse me. Get to the important part. This is a sophisticated show. Brings together comedy and politics. B.J. Pete Buttigieg has been on this show.

Next quote. This president called James Buchanan and Senator William Rufus King, who Buchanan lived with, Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy. This is one of my favorite insults of all time. Is this Teddy Roosevelt? Close in a way. Close in a way. You're really going for it.

I don't even, I'm afraid I'm going to give two wrong names. Didn't Buchanan get shot for being gay? No. I don't think. Not for being gay. Look, obviously, famously, James Buchanan threw the first brick at Stonewall. It was Andrew Jackson. He called James Buchanan and his...

I was not close at all. No, no, no, it is because they're both kind of gruff and outdoorsy. Yeah, all white. Spiritually close. That Washington was not a scholar is certain. That he is too illiterate, unlearned, unread for a station was equally past dispute. That is about George Washington. That's an old guy.

Okay. One of the oldest. Well, like someone who said it was an old guy. Was it Thomas Jefferson? Again, so. John Adams? Yes. John Adams.

Yeah. That's my dad's name. I got a five on APUS. Wow. Wow. Still have. Holy shit. Yeah, wow.

You're impressive. That's cool. Thank you. Wow. That's awesome. You know so much got a five on APUS. Wow. Wow. Holy shit. That's cool. Thank you. Wow. That's awesome. You know so much about the XYZ affair, I bet. You could say one more thing about it, I bet. During an on-camera debate with Bill Clinton and Ross Perot, this future president checked his watch while an audience member shared how the recession had impacted them.

This has got to be old Bush. You bet. You got it. You got it. Yes. And finally, this president ordered his valet to round up and shoot all the squirrels on the grounds of the White House just because they were messing up his golf game. Dwight Eisenhower. Oh, my God.

It was correct. What can I say? That was awesome. What can I say? What a pull. I'm a Pete and Pete fan. Did you say he had a valet? A valet.

A valet. I think it's like a butler. Like a car driver? Do you valet your car? I think it's a butler. Next up. You're not done. Oh, there's more quiz ahead.

Now it's double quiz, where the points really matter. When discussing Biden's phone call with Hannity, Ducey dodges the question of whether or not the president actually apologized, which I, for one, loved. Of course, you don't apologize for doing something cool. Brendan and Lindsay, I'm going to read something extremely awesome a politician did, and then

you have to tell us, yes or no, did they apologize? Now, very rarely do politicians say the words I'm sorry because of the brokenness inside of them. Because if they said that, they explode. But if they expressed regrets, we're counting it. Nancy Pelosi sarcastically clapping for Trump at the State of the Union. Did she apologize?

No. No. Correct. Because Pelosi later confirmed she was genuinely clapping. No. No. Correct. Because Pelosi later confirmed she was genuinely clapping.

Did Representative Jared Huffman apologize for calling Betsy DeVos dumb as a bag of hammers? I hope not. It's a trick question. Yes, but to hammers, you got huffed. Did Ruth Bader Ginsburg apologize for criticizing candidate Donald Trump, calling him a faker and claiming her late husband would move them to New Zealand if he were elected president? No. She did apologize.

What? On reflection, my recent remarks in response to press inquiries were ill-advised, and I regret making them, said Ginsburg. Judges should avoid commenting on a candidate for public office. In the future, I will be more circumspect. Hillary Clinton called Trump supporters a basket of deplorables. Did she apologize? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, she did. She said last night, I was grossly generalistic and that's never a good idea. I regret saying half, which I think is actually cool in hindsight. That holds up. That holds up.

Did AOC apologize for blocking a former Democratic New York State Assemblyman on Twitter? No. Yeah, she did, but only after he sued. Oh. Did former President Obama apologize for calling Kanye a jackass? Yes. No, didn't do it. Didn't apologize. He didn't? Apparently it's still an issue. Wow. That is live. That is a live

dispute. Did former Republican Senate nominee Christine O'Donnell apologize for experimenting with witchcraft? Never. I hope not. No, she did. Get it, girl. But she shouldn't have.

No. Come on. On this couch, we love Christine. Yeah, exactly. In this couch, love is love. Coexist. No one is illegal. Don't build more housing.

They never put that on the bottom of their signs. They never say, single family houses only. Brendan and Lindsay, you've both won the game. Great job. And Brendan and Lindsay are going to stick around for some hot takes when we come back.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Lindsay and Brendan are still here. River is back. And now for a segment we call Hot Takes. That name will change because Crooked Now

is a climate podcast called Hot Take. So it's really confusing. So it's funny because I could claim that this occurred to us in the moment, but it's on the card, which means we knew we had to change the name, and none of us did it. Which I think is great. Anyway, subscribe to Hot Take and strict scrutiny, wherever you get your podcasts.

They're awesome. Where's your climate pod? Where's your climate pod? Where's your climate pod? There's a climate pod. Here's how the artist formerly known as Hot Takes works. Each of us will have one minute to defend a take we've never seen before. We'll all go twice and we each get one skip, but be aware if you skip, you're stuck with what you get.

You have one minute to try your best to do your best actual defense of whatever pops up on screen. All right. Let's see our first hot take. Elden Ring on PS5 comes out in February, but I'm way, way, way more excited about Kirby and the Forgotten Land coming to Switch in March by me. Okay. That's my take, okay?

Obviously, famously bird that is the cheapest, cheesiest, easiest character to play in Smash Brothers. I think it's cool that Smash Brothers is a game that makes absolutely no sense. The buttons do different things when you hit them, but if you want to win, you can just press the win button by choosing the marshmallow named Kirby because that marshmallow floats in a game that is 100% about gravity and has the ability to suck in other players and kill them, which is, I think, an advantage. And so my assumption is that Kirby is a character that exists for people that are pretty stressed in life. Pandemic, the news, all those things get you

down. So why play an exciting, riveting, artistic game like Elden Ring from some of the best creative minds in the history of video games that literally changed the form when you're going to be a pink marshmallow running around. That's it. I stand by that. I agree with you.

I like that mine is like a very esoteric distinction between video games, and the next one's going to be something like gay rights are bad. Adults with a sweet tooth are underdeveloped people. Lindsay, you have one minute. You know, I know that this is something of great interest to you. So that's your view. Let's hear it. Okay. Adults with a sweet tooth are underdeveloped people. The thing is, is sweets are for children. I think that's clear. They're for babies. Are you going to suck on a

lollipop as a grown adult? You look like an idiot. You're clearly not well in the head. Do you want to be seen eating a candy bar? Absolutely not. It's going to make you look stupid. If you like sweets over savory, as you get to be an adult, you like things that are salty because you get old. And your tongue gets old and it gets done with happiness. It's over the happiness. From now on it says no more good

stuff, only bad stuff. Give me gross, gross shit and no more sweet stuff. Otherwise, and if you like it, you're dumb. You're a dumbo. You look dumb and you're dumb and I'm dumb. Incredible.

What a hot take. What a strange opinion. I really want like a Gadsden flag style shirt that says, I only want stuff that tastes like shit. Don't give me anything sweet. Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing good. All bad. Straight people are more interesting. Oh, that's for Brendan. That's Brendan's view. Okay. I'm going to say something to you. Straight people are way more interesting than queer people.'s for Brendan. That's Brendan's view. Okay, I'm going to say something to you. Straight people are

way more interesting than queer people. And I stand by this. Queer people, obsessed with talking about their identities. Boring. Queer people, obsessed with justice. Boring. Queer people, obsessed with going on trips to Palm Springs and

Ojai with groups of friends and getting into business with each other. Boring. Straight people love Vegas. Straight people go on road trips to the Grand Canyon and even swing by that big Hoover Dam thing. Straight people

often much hotter than gay people. Straight women beautiful at their makeup skills. Way better than stupid-ass drag queens. Drag queens, you look like clowns. Straight men who wear makeup called warrior mud, so cool. Gay men who wear warrior mud, you're trying too hard. Awesome. Fantastic.

Giving us a lot to think about. Next up, Ohio is easily our worst state. River. Take it away. Well, Ohio is easily our worst state. Mainly because it borders Pennsylvania and Indiana. Have you ever had a shit sandwich? That's Ohio.

Indiana. Have you ever had a shit sandwich? That's Ohio. It's biggest cities are Cleveland. Yikes. Columbus. What the shit. That guy found something that people were already on.

And Cincinnati? Cincinnati's biggest claim to fame is spaghetti with chili on it. Literally say Cincinnati to any person from Cincinnati, and that is what they bring up. Wet spaghetti in a bowl with chili on it. That is an abomination. Ohio is easily our worst state.

It's lake caught on fire. No, I'm sorry. It was the river, which is a cleaner thing. It caught on a body of water. We were all upset about the ocean being on fire, but Ohio did it first. Way to go. I think that chili spaghetti sounds pretty good.

I'm just going to admit it. Pool owners are morally virtuous? Skip. Sure, ban mouse. Oh my god! Ban mouse? Wow. Oh my god.

Sorry, I'm a bit overwhelmed because I, of course, always believed that we should ban the graphic comic that tells the story of a small mouse experiencing the Shoah, where the Nazis are cats. And I think when a school in Tennessee says,

no, no, can't teach this to our children, there's a bad word in it. I think that makes a lot of sense. I think kids should be given a completely anodyne presentation of history, society, culture for as long as humanly possible. So every strange or weird or different feeling

they have all the way through childhood is something they know correctly to feel guilty and shameful about. I'm out of time. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. Next up, who's next? Oh, no.

Devon Sawa was our least hot, least interesting 90s teen heartthrob. Lindsay, that is your view about Devon Sawa, famously Casper. Okay, well, obviously a ghost is disgusting. And white men are bad. So look at that bowl cut on that loser. What is he so happy about?

His life as a rich boy? That's not good. He's disgusting. Obviously hideous. His lips's not good. He's disgusting. Obviously hideous. His lips are not precious. Nobody wants to look into his eyes for days. Nobody's like, hey, why don't you and Eminem do a video together? Two hot trash bags.

Nobody wants that. He's a bad heartthrob Because look at that disgusting face You don't want to make out with You don't even think about kissing it You don't even take a pillow And pretend his face is that pillow And kiss it

That's how ugly he is Wow Nice What's up next Mike Pence should hang a medal for best governor on his chest. Brendan. I'm going to pass. I don't want to talk about him.

My Emmy nom should have been a win. My Emmy nom should have been a win. And I'll tell you why. First off, yes, it wasn't a real Emmy nomination. It was for the short form category, which is a much smaller category, which my representatives at UTA and Mosaic Media Company said made it

more likely that I would win. However, I lost to J.B. Smoove for a show that was on Quibi that nobody saw, was never even released on Quibi, was released on Roku after the nominations

came out. Nobody even watched it. Nobody probably even watched my show, Who Are Voters, either. However, a lot of people in Eastern Europe watched my show, and I know that because they follow me on Instagram and they send me photos of their feet. How many feet pics

is J.B. Smoove getting? Everybody voted for J.B. Smoove because they love him on Curb Your Enthusiasm. And everybody loves Curb because all Emmy voters are old white men. Incredible. Incredible. I love the veering off to take a quick hit at Mosaic and UTA. I like that. It was great. Just as if there's any casting directors listening. Those are and UGA. I like that. It was great. Just as if there's any casting directors listening. Those are.

That's where I'm wrapped. Baseball is stupid and boring. River, take it away. Baseball is stupid and boring. You pay money to go sit outside. You enter a building. You buy a ticket online. And then you take that ticket

and you stand in line to enter a building that is then somehow outside. Once you enter the building, you're still outdoors. Whenever you want to eat, they throw the food at you. Which, no thanks. Hand me my nuts, please.

It's only played by people who wear long pants with belts! It's so slow and boring, you can wear accessories. It's not going to hurt you, because nothing's happening. They wear hats to shield their eyes from the sun, but they play at night! Nobody likes baseball! Nobody likes baseball. Nobody likes baseball. And that is a very, very scorching edition of Hot Takes. Thank you to Brendan.

Thank you, River. Thank you, Lindsay. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Okay, everybody, let's end on a high note. And we're back. Okay, everybody, let's end on a high note. Hey, this is a message for John. Hi, it's Dan Diamond calling from Toronto. Just listen to your wonderful show. And you mentioned on the rant wheel that one of your topics was Girl Scout cookies. And in fact, I was very disappointed that you actually were talking about Girl Scout Cookies because, of course, Girl Scout Cookies is the finest high THC marijuana varietal that I've enjoyed in a number of years. It makes everything you say funny or, in your case, funnier

and just puts a fantastic sparkle in everything. So that was the Girl Scout Cookies I thought you were going to discuss. Oh, well, cheers. Bye. Hi, my name is Mallory. I'm calling with a high note. I just learned this week that a course I've been working on since the pandemic started. It's a seven-hour course for therapists on HIV, AIDS, and mental health. It has finally been released, and I'm so excited to be sharing this course with people. And I co-facilitated and co-created the course, and it's just wonderful. And I'm really happy to finally be able to share all the knowledge I've gained in my work with other therapists in California and nationally.

So that's my high note for the week. I'm really excited. I've been working on it for so long through working full-time, the pandemic, losing my mom, almost losing my dad. And so I'm just really excited to be able to share this course with folks, especially other therapists. So that's my high note. Thanks. Hi, love it or leave it. This is Vicki calling from San Francisco. I've been listening from the start and finally gathered up the nerve to leave a high note message. Among many things for which I'm grateful this week, there's this. Last year, John posted a comment and a link to the letter that Tommy Raskin's family

wrote to share his story. It's a beautiful moving tribute to their remarkable son who reminded us that we almost care for each other and that small gestures can mean the world. So the high note is this. As his legacy, Tommy's legacy, this coming Sunday, January 30th, his birthday, people all over asked to perform acts of kindness and to share their information at the site TommyRaskinFund.org. Starting on January 30th last year, thousands of acts have been done to honor his memory and support his friends and family. And a read-through of the list that you find on the site is a huge motivational,

inspirational high note. So I recommend it to you all and I thank you. Thank you to everybody who submitted high notes tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at 213-262-4427. That's our show. Thank you to Brendan Scannell, River Butcher, Lindsay Adams,

Jossie Kaufman, producer Kendra James, and everybody who called in with high notes. There are 283 days until the 2022 midterm elections. Have a great weekend. Thank you. and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McClain and Caroline Haywood for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Norma Elkonian, Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can.