Lovett or Leave It - Fox & Friends with Benefits

Episode Date: April 28, 2018

Trump calls his TV friends. Cosby is found guilty. Nunes can’t manage a scheme. Kanye is on his journey. A hand shake crosses the DMZ. And a debate about pizza gets VERY heated. Larry Wilmore, Negin Farsad, Grace Parra, Paul W. Downs, and Travis Helwig join Jon to break down the week. Also royal baby blah blah blah.

What is up, everybody? I'm going to give you a 6.5 for the energy in this room. You look lovely in your George Washington and clown nose shirts. You look very dignified in a white polo. Unbranded boomers. We have some boomers in the front. Can I ask you a question? And you cannot answer.

Do you own your homes? What year did you buy your home? 91, you bastards. How much has your home value gone up since 1991? Just in percentage. Okay, it's doubled. It's gone up double. Doubled! Hers went up zero. That's just where'd you buy it?

Okay, so tough market there. I don't not going to get into your, I think you might have been taken back then in 1991. I think everybody got out of Jurassic Park and took you for a ride. Are you at all interested in the royal baby? I'm referring to Kanye. I'm not.

I'm not referring to our royal baby. Our big, beautiful royal baby, Kanye. I'm not. I'm not referring to our royal baby. Our big beautiful royal baby Kanye. I'm referring to the royal baby baby. The royal baby royal baby. Louie or Louis? It's Louie. Those pretentious bastards. Louie. Maybe they saw Interview with the Vampire. If that's the reason, it's cool. Are there people here that really pay attention to the royal baby thing? You do. Uh-huh. And are you an American?

I am. Uh-huh. Do you think you're a good one? I don't know. You don't know. Are you a fan of, like, constitutional democracy? Are you a fan of like constitutional democracy? Are you a fan of... Right, you don't believe that the baby was ordained by a higher power to be special and therefore deserve everything.

You should answer faster. The answer is no. Because this is America. And we have a word for royal babies. Babies. That little shit George met our president in a fucking robe. The president in a robe. Barack Obama.

The first really good president we've had in so long, and maybe the last one we ever have. They put that kid in a pajamas. President getting down on hand and knee to talk to a little Dauphin. Little royal shit. It's great to be back at the improv. We love it here.

Our home base in L.A. We have a few shows coming up on the road. Love It or Leave It will be in Pittsburgh Thursday, May 3rd. Columbus, Ohio Friday, May 4th. Baltimore, Maryland Saturday, May 5th. So if you're in D.C. or Baltimore, come check us out. Go to crooked.com slash events. That's all the housekeeping I have to do.

All right, let's start the show. Enough lollygagging. We have an incredible panel for you tonight. She is a comedian and host of the very funny political podcast, Fake the Nation, and author of the book, How to Make White People Laugh. Please welcome Nagin Farsad. Welcome back to the show, Nagin.

How are you? Good. Thanks for having me. Hi, everybody. You guys are, like, drunk already. It's really exciting. Drunk on politics. Drunk on dystopia. Yeah.

The shitty buzz. Dystopia. You know her from The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, and she's now developing a new late night show for TBS. Please welcome Grace Parra. Hi, Grace. Good to see you. Hi, everybody.

Hello. John, everybody. Hello. John, I'm a huge fan of the royal baby. You're a huge fan of the royal baby? Well, the shitty one. The mean one. Which is the mean one? Prince George. Oh, Prince George.

Little Prince George. I guess we don't know the personality of the newest one yet. No. We can assume he's shitty. I'm fine with that. I mean, same parents. You started this. He is a television producer, comedian,

host of the podcast Black on the Air. Please welcome Larry Wilmore. Larry. Larry. Thank you for being here. Oh, my God. Lots of fans. Very nice.

You know, this is, I believe, a first-ever all-star panel, all returning guests. It's the Jeopardy Tournament of Champions. I know. I love it. I had to go against a big blue last time, I think. Nice Jeopardy inside joke. You had to go up against that computer. I know. I love it. I had to go against a Big Blue last time, I think. Nice Jeopardy inside joke. You had to go up

against that computer. I'm with you. I'm with you. It's you, me, and Ken Jennings getting that joke right now. Ken Jennings, very nice. Big Blue. Watson.

The computer that can win at Jeopardy. And it'll take every person's job in this room. That's all there is to it. Great. Let's get into it. What a week.

On Thursday, Bill Cosby was found guilty on all three counts of aggravated... What? Yes. Sexual assault. Well, Cosby is the first celebrity accused of sexual misconduct to be tried and found guilty of his crimes in criminal court since the Me Too movement gained traction. In a lot of ways, it feels like something has sort of come full circle in that, in a lot of ways, the outpouring of stories from women accusing Bill Cosby kind of set off a national conversation. Grace, I'll start with you. I mean, this is obviously, you know, it's a heavy topic for a comedy show.

I don't with you. I mean, this is obviously, you know, it's a heavy topic for a comedy show, but Bill Cosby. I don't see why. Bill Cosby could go away for a long time. It also took an incredible amount of evidence and people and work to bring him to justice. How do you feel about that? Thrilled. I think it's a great move. I'm glad I'm here with Larry tonight, by the way, who's been a real advocate of making sure that Cosby gets his due justice for many years now. So I can't wait to hear your thoughts. But here's my thing. My thing is I feel like I don't want us to frame this as strictly like the downfall of an American icon.

I think it's more of a win for women who have been able to stand up for themselves in the face of sexual assault. for women who have been able to stand up for themselves in the face of sexual assault. It's something that I think I just don't want us to overlook in this narrative because, you know, the reality is like it's also not just about this one person's arrest. We have to start looking at the... What was that? A deeply ill-timed ding.

What was that you were saying about women's voices? What was that you were saying about women's voices? Time's up. Truly time's up. Basically, I think we need to make sure that we're celebrating the women behind this. And we need to remember that there are systemic issues that are still happening that I don't think we've fully dealt with. So even though this one man's arrest is phenomenal and it's huge and it also signifies just so much in terms of how celebrities cannot continue to get away with shit,

there's still a lot of work to be done with the systems in place that have allowed this to happen for as long as it has. Ding. Larry, what did you make of it? What was your order of thought? Fuck that motherfucker, man. Seriously. Fuck that motherfucker, man. Seriously.

Fuck that motherfucker. You know, I said on my show, I haven't forgotten about you, motherfucker. And somebody said, man, you really don't like Cosby. I said, I don't like rape. It's got nothing to do with Cosby. It's about rape.

And it's, I mean, Cosby didn't, there wasn't sexual misconduct. He raped women. That's a very serious crime. And an even more serious crime is the crime of collusion that society has had for the umpteenth, how many years, folks, where they have allowed powerful men to silence a multitude of women just by the fact that they're powerful men and women's voices were not being heard at all and the power of the fact that women's voices are heard in this trial and it took something so egregious as this and the details of this are so grisly that it took this to get this far shows you how bad the problem is really and how far i think

we still have to go the fact you know that he had 60 women saying the same exact thing. It's like, we really have to have a trial for this. Yes, exactly. No, you're right. Two trials. It took two trials. It was also it's amazing how much has changed and shifted just in the past, obviously, the past year and a half, because there were multiple allegations against Cosby published in newspapers, and it just didn't amount to anything.

And I remember that one of the Gawker sites published a piece that talked about what Dylan Farrow had said and why not Cosby. Why is Cosby not getting any coverage? It was around that time that Hannibal Buress did his famous stand-up show where he said, you know, what are you talking about being respectable? You're a rapist. And it really set something off. But it is amazing just how much has shifted in our culture

because I don't think even that would not happen. It's not possible for the story to be reported that way. The justice was served by Cosby shitting on black people. That's what started it. When he started shitting on black people, he was like, all right, motherfucker, you're on your own now. You know? And it's kind of sad that

there would even be, not that he was protected by that in any sense, but I think people, the veil of that celebrity, I think was dropped in that case. And also the power, this is what's interesting to me about it, is that like, you know, we know about the original charges from 2005, right?

And I think part of the reason why we weren't able to accept it in 2005 is because of the power of the cardigan. It's just the dad figure. You're just like, a guy with sweaters couldn't do that. The symbolism of him was so strong. And I guess our ability as a public to disassociate Cosby from like the, the character on TV from like the real person, which makes, which is, I think, embarrassing for us as a country, they were two different phenomenon, you know? But I think that was like a huge part of it. It's like the cardigan, we just looked at him through cardigan eyes. It's true. It's, you know, when you're a funny rapist, you know, you're able, it's true.

You know, I always said Cosby arguably... That's the title of my next album. Yeah. Like Michael Jackson, I always said arguably the most talented child molester of all time. Arguably. Arguably. I'm saying arguably. You have to then, you're like,

well, how do you compare a pop star to a director? Yes, but because Cosby... What? But because Cosby's funny and people like him, there's the narcissism of fandom, where you want to keep liking that person. And it says something about you that you can't like them, you know. It's like, what happened?

There was a trust that was broken. Yeah, I mean, I think that's part of what we've been grappling with, too, of like these public figures that we know in a certain respect. We find out whether it's Matt Lauer or others. Wow, there's another story we don't know and actually are understanding them, even as, whether it's as someone on television or even as colleagues, right, that's part of it too, colleagues saying, I didn't see this version of this person, accepting that they were wrong. And to that, we've seen two things.

One, we saw reports this week that further detail what was happening inside of NBC, both what Ann Curry did to report Matt Lauer's misconduct before she was fired, basically, or whatever version of, I don't think it was technically. Fucked over. Fucked over, sure. As well as allegations against Tom Brokaw, somebody that I think the public holds in incredible esteem,

and it seems as people inside of NBC hold in incredible esteem. And I think we're grappling with this again. What do you do when someone you respect and admire, when someone who has a sterling reputation faces these allegations when... Toss them out. Well, so someone says toss them out, fine.

But before we get to tossing them out, I think it's accepting that we don't know. A person's public reputation and public performance does not invalidate claims of their private behavior. Well, that's why what matters immediately in the wake of these allegations is huge. And for example, I don't know if you guys have read the letter that Tom Brokaw put out that was leaked. I actually brought it with me today because I feel like it can and should be read in the

style of Downton Abbey. I don't know if you guys are at all interested in this. Is the email he sent? It's the private email that he sent that was leaked, but this is what happens when you truly victimize yourself. You guys ready for this? I'm ready.

I think. Love it's ready. Dear diary. I added that part, but the rest is real. It is 4 a.m. on the first day of my new life as an accused predator in the universe of American journalism. I was ambushed and then perp-walked across the pages of the Washington Post and Variety

as an avatar of male misogyny, taken to the guillotine, stripped of any honor and achievement I had earned in more than a half- century of journalism and citizenship. Yeah, don't do that. I actually have the audio version. I said... Guys, give it up for Grace for an impromptu, dramatic reading.

I was just so struck by how dramatic the language was and how it was, you know, it's 4 a.m. and listen to me and I'm a victim. And it's like, bitch, I don't know, let somebody else talk for once, first of all. Second, you know, just if you have something to say that if you feel like there are facts and the facts are wrong, talk about that.

Don't talk in this flighty language like you're sitting under a willow tree, Emerson style, writing a transcendentalist manifesto. Exactly. Oh, man. That's good advice. Nagin, one other thing that's happened this week is there was a report,

there's been several reports about the various men who have been ostracized for allegations, plotting their return. Tina Brown said publicly that someone's shopping at Charlie Rose-hosted show about whatever. There's also been stories about others, Louis C.K., Matt Lauer. What do you make of that?

Okay, so I think Billy Bush can have a chance because like douchebags want to have their hero. And he seems like, you know, one that could fulfill that role. But no, I mean, I think like what are we talking about when we're talking about a show? Is it going to be like Nickelodeon from the 90s where they do the green slime over the head? Is that what the show is going to look like? Wait, isn't there something that's coming back to Nickelodeon? Is it Double Dare?

It's Double Dare! Oh, so maybe if he's the host of Double Dare, I'm down with that. If it's like a show of endless humiliations, then that might be, I'd maybe watch that. This is Charlie Rose and I'm going to put my hand inside this giant nose and see if a new opportunity to do journalism comes out of it.

Oh, it's just a little flag. Again, why am I trying to do voices? Stick to what you're good at, John. That was like a southern lawyer. That was more like a drunk Dan Rather, I think. That's what I do. That's Charlie Rowe. That's what I do.

You just make it drunk Dan Rather, put it at an oak table, treat some people terribly. You got it. You know? Okay. Let's move on because I want to quickly talk about a development in the Russia story this week. Today, Devin Nunes and other House Republicans on the Intelligence Committee, yes, we're not fans of Devin Nunes here at Love It or Leave It. Again, I've said it before, he is simply not up to national level scheming. He could maybe

be up to county level or municipal scheming. But anyway, he released his Russia report, which amounts to 250 pages of propaganda, basically meant to sow doubt that Trump and his associates conspired with Russia to subvert the 2016 election, which they did, allegedly. But despite them finding no direct evidence of collusion, the report actually found lots of evidence of collusion, plus unexplored avenues

by which collusion could have happened, including the following. Russia proposed using the NRA to set up a back channel, which is like when all the evil people meet at the Republican Club in the Simpsons, when it's like Sideshow Bob

and Mr. Burns and an alien, and I think Dr. Hibbert was there, but don't quote me on that. Apu? I don't, Apu was not there. Just saying Apu now, it's so fraught. It's 2018, things are changing very fast. Apu, fucking out.

Get him out of here. Get out of here, Apu. I support getting rid of him. I do. I watched the movie. The Hari movie's fantastic. Bye, Apu. I'm in a mood tonight. I do. I watched the movie, the Hari movie's fantastic. Bye Apu. I'm in a mood tonight.

I'm a little weird. It's good, it's good. You say I'm getting old? How dare you, sir? How dare you, sir? I am looking at a Brooks Brothers polo shirt. I know that little symbol, and I know that that's a shirt that no one can call another person old while wearing.

Feisty boomers here tonight. Absolutely feisty from all the Medicare we're paying for. You were like swigging off of that Geritol in the green room, so I thought that was a little weird. So, Russia proposed using the NRA to set up a back channel. When Don Jr. was setting up the Trump Tower meeting to get dirt on Hillary Clinton from Russian agents,

he had a call with a blocked number, which very likely belonged to his father, which is the fucking best. Don, I'm going to the secret meeting. I just like in the middle of it basically an international nefarious scheme to subvert democracy. Donald Trump Jr. was having the most

intimate and personal of dramas of still trying to get his father to show him real love, an emotion his father is not capable of offering. Even then, in that brief moment before he participated in a great crime against the United States, he had one thought on his mind, maybe this time. If he read Kanye's tweets, he'd know that it's all about love, right?

It's all about love. It's all about love. And dragon energy. And dragon energy. Michael Flynn. And tiger blood. And what? Tiger blood.

Tiger blood. Yeah, man. Yes. What is it about people in the midst of a social media meltdown that they ascribe their behavior to creatures? You know, it's wild. In addition, Michael Flynn had a previously undisclosed December 2015 meeting with Russian Ambassador Sergei Kislyak. There's Kislyak again. The guy is a, he's everywhere.

So Michael Flynn had that additional meeting with Kislyak and Trump sent a direct message to at Vlad Putin saying, I'll do whatever you want, sir. Please don't reveal my financial crimes. Couldn't that one have been real? It's not real. I added that one. Anyway, Republicans did not allow the committee

to pursue any of these leads, including refusing to allow a subpoena to figure out who the block number was. Why would you want to know that information, Devin Nunes, you dum-dum? This comes on the same day that NBC found evidence that the Russian lawyer from the Trump Tower meeting was much closer to the Kremlin than parties originally suggested. And in addition, this week, a judge put a stay on the Michael Cohen case for 90 days. I don't see how 90 days is going to help him very much. So this report, I fundamentally don't know who it's for, right? I guess it's for Fox News viewers.

It's not very persuasive. As always with Devin Nunes, like I remember when he released the memo, that the memo accidentally made the opposite case by revealing that there was further evidence beyond the memo, beyond the dossier that justified the surveillance. And again, we have this no collusion report that says, holy shit, there's all this additional terrible behavior that might consist of collusion. Larry, are they actually protecting Donald Trump in any meaningful way or are they just getting their own hands dirty here? It is impossible to protect Donald Trump because he lives in his own parallel universe. And everything he does, he does the opposite immediately.

And anything he conceals, he shows it to us immediately. So he's always incriminating himself when he thinks he's defending himself. It's unbelievable. And it drives Republicans crazy and I can't get enough of it. It's one of the funniest things. When you see Lindsey Graham, you say, oh my God. I've got the vipers again just thinking about this. It's hilarious when he sees Trump doing that.

He's digging his own hole, that whole call to Fox and Friends, you know. Yeah, we'll get to the call to Fox and Friends. Yeah, I know you can get to that. As if that's not okay. Stop. I mean. It was a, yes. It was a class shovel of Trump handing the, a class case of Trump handing the shovel to himself.

Yeah. Which is what he does. So. Yeah, I mean, it was. So that's how I feel about it. But also, Devin Nunes is like, I mean, he sort of behaves like the manager of a Dunkin' Donuts, you know? Where, like, he really thinks he's, like,

onto something with these glazed donuts. And it's really, you're like, I mean, you know, ultimately, I don't know. That's all I'm saying is that he's the manager of a Dunkin' Donuts. And actually, and I hope in the future that he finds himself at one, because I think that's a better career choice for him. Yes, Devin Nunes does look as though he was plucked from a Dunkin' Donuts where he loved his life. I mean, he loved his job.

He liked the people he worked with. He had his regulars. I mean, I think one of the challenges of working in retail in 2018 is you have to make community at this commoditized, kind of indistinguishable place which you know at a Starbucks or a Dunkin Donuts and Devin Nunes said you know what yeah there's a million other Dunkin Donuts but this is my Dunkin Donuts and this is a place and you know for instance one thing is like I think some you know he he's just you know you know the end of the day you know take a munchkin you know take it I throw them out anyway i'm not actually i tried i asked corporate if i could give them to a shelter or something that actually said that there

were like legal implications for giving away old food so they actually make us throw it away and i'm like you know what fuck corporate take the munchkins that's devin nunes before he was plucked from obscurity to lead the house intelligence committee and and he's just weighing over his head, and it turns out, not a good guy. Incidentally. It was the donuts that was keeping him grounded, you know? Well, it just, you know, he had his routine, and there wasn't a lot of opportunity for international malfeasance,

and so, or subverting the checks and balances at the core of our constitutional system. Very little of that comes up at the Santa Clarita Dunkin' Donuts, where he was a manager. And that's the week. When we come back, OK Stop! Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. Now for a segment we call OK Stop. Here's how it works. We roll a clip and then the panel can say OK Stop at any point to comment. Thursday morning Donald Trump took a break from yelling at his television to yell with his television when he stopped by

a little show called Fox and its friends. I don't I you know, I obviously this is very on the nose for a shop, but sometimes just be for what's happening. Let's roll the clip. Thank you so much for being with us, Mr. President. Well, good morning. And I picked a very, very special day because it's Melania's birthday. So I said, let's do it on Melania's birthday.

Okay, stop. Okay, stop. The one time they have sex every five years, that's what he says to Melania. Okay, let's do it on Melania's birthday. Look, we're all, look, I'm in a relationship. I don't know what anyone's personal status on the stage is, but I got to tell you, I don't know how well it would go over if I said, I thought of what I'm going to do for your birthday. I have a hit from 9 to 9.30 in the morning

on Fox and Friends. Because I love you. You're the best. You're the you. You're the best. You're the best. You're the best. You're the best, babe. You're my first lady. I picture him also like

just giving Melania a check for $130,000 out of confusion on her birthday. Just be like, I think I'm supposed to give this to you. What?

Am I? I better not get into this to you. What? Oh, am I? I better not get into that because I may get in trouble. Maybe I didn't get her so much. I'll tell you what she has done. I got her a beautiful card. Okay, stop. No card in the world

could make up for all of that whole thing. I also like that what he's really saying is I really hope someone who works for me got her something. Did I approve a gift? Did that come up? Did somebody ask me

about a gift? Fuck. My brain's broke. I don't know. Also, the car that he got her definitely is one that's musical and you open it up

and it screams do-noo-noo-noo-noo today is your birthday and then you have to close it immediately because you want to die inside. It's tough. What do you give the woman

that's been globally humiliated by it? Card, I guess. At this point. Busy to be running out looking for presents, okay? Kanye West comes out, regardless of what he says, he doesn't have anything

personally against you, he likes you, he doesn't agree with everything. Then he has other people in there. You can tell the one in the middle has no idea who Kanye is. Like she's looking down, hoping no one notices her during this segment community. Like Chance the Rapper comes out, says black people don't have to be Democrats. Have Republicans done a bad job ignoring the black community up until now? Actually, OK, stop. They've done an awesome job at that.

Oh, you and your rhetorical questions. It was just a custom. People don't realize, you know, if you go back to the Civil War, it was the Republicans that really... Okay, stop. This coded language, if you go back to the Civil War,

he wants to stop the sentence right there. Thing. Lincoln was a Republican. I mean, somehow it changed over the years. And I will say. Okay, stop. That is, now that's a yada, yada, yada. Somehow changed over the years.

Well, Trump, like Bush, he says like the most ordinary facts thinking we don't know them because they just learned them for the first time. When he says many people don't realize, he says I found out today. Today, this morning. Like five minutes before the show. You're kidding me. Lincoln was a Republican. Wait, who's Lincoln again? Oh, get out of town.

He freed the what? Well, why would he do that? You're kidding me. This is fantastic. But then wait, why are we all racist? What happened? I really believe it's changing back.

Remember, I was going to get no black votes. I was going to get none. Well, I got a lot. I got a lot of support. Okay, stop. Diamond and silk don't count. They do count. Yeah. I was going to... I said this once before, but thinking that he's getting black support

is like me thinking I'm getting closer to the sun by jumping. You know? It's like, well, technically, yeah. Yeah, technically, maybe I'm getting a little closer to the sun, but... It's that whole gravity thing. Yeah, I mean, not really. Yeah, in. Maybe I'm getting a little closer to the sun. There's that whole gravity thing. Yeah, I mean, not really. In a sense. With Diamond and Silk and Kanye, that's three.

Just to his credit, there are three. Last year you said in the first month, I give myself an A for effort and a C for messaging because you were having trouble, the White House was, explaining what you were doing. How would you grade yourself now? Look, I'm fighting a battle against a horrible group of deep-seated people

who drained the swamp. Okay, stop. Deep-seated people. These people are so deep-seated. Like they're in an I-Pick theater or something, you know, in the cushy seats. They're very low. They're just deep in it.

They're deep in being people. Can I also just point out at this moment that the hosts kind of look like they are slowly dying? And that this, honestly honestly like interviewing Donnie should be listed as a form of torture by the Geneva Convention. Like it is. It looks like Hal just removed the oxygen from the pod. ...up with all sorts of phony charges against me and they're not bringing up real charges

against the other side. Okay, stop. What about the real charges against him? He're not bringing up real charges against the other side okay stop what about the real charges against him he does not recognize those look at the corruption at the top of the fbi it's a disgrace and our justice department which i try and stay away from but at some point i won't okay stop the fucking brian kill me shitting and grinding. But also, the Justice Department, which I try to stay away from, but at some point I won't. Again, if that was the kind of thing that was on the Nixon tapes, which I guess it was. That's why they were erased. Is why the whole thing happened.

I love how Steve Doocy right now is thinking, God, this guy's fucking crazy at this point. I mean, it's like Charlie Manson reacting to you going, Whoa, man, calm down, you know. I want to say something, just to be honest. I think Steve Doocy looks good for spring. I think he's doing okay. You know, I like the color of the suit, a pink tie.

I like it. You know, it's Fox News. They're not very color, they're not for men. They don't tend to be the suit a pink tie I like it you know it's Fox News they're not very color they're not for men they don't tend to be very color forward and I appreciate it it's really brave of you to say that something I just wanted to be honest about it you know I think Brian Kilmeade's got the classic red tie I'm a man thing going on Steve Doocy's like maybe I'm not. You know, maybe I'm not the manly man you thought I was. Maybe inside there is a fucking sweet, theater-loving, heteronormative, defying Steve Doocy, who goes by Steven, who's in here screaming. It looks like he listens to Yanni in his spare time.

Justice Department should be looking at that kind of stuff, not the nonsense of collusion with Russia. There is no collusion with me and Russia, and everyone knows it. Okay, stop. This is the point where they... Look, this is also an historic event

in which journalists are having an incredibly newsworthy and important conversation with the most powerful human being on planet Earth, and they are trying to get off the phone like their great uncle called about the old dispute with the neighbor

about a tree with shared root structure and how the town is on the side of the neighbor because of politics, you know? Can I also point out that they were desperately trying to get off the phone with him and the segment after this was a cooking segment. It was like, you know,

which was maybe more important than the president. Yeah, it's like it's Fox and Friends with benefits and then they wake up and realize who they've actually been sleeping with. Fox and Friends with Benefits, episode title, done. Yeah. Bam. Lock it down.

I did it again. I put two things together, you guys. Unbeatable. Unbeatable. Brainstorm art begins now. We're not beating Fox and Friends with Benefits. Talked to you all day, but it looks like you have a million things to do. Okay, stop.

It looks like you have. It looks like. You can't see him. It looks like you have a million things to do because you're the president and you have been on a call with a morning chat show for 30 minutes yelling and because we are your propagandists

we know that you're not helping so we need to get you off of here sir because fuck what show tries to dump the president unheard of they had a cooking segment to get to. Wait, can I just say I'm like a little disappointed that you didn't play the Cohen part.

Because the Cohen part was, first of all, just his limitations with the English language were so apparent. Because he kept saying, you know, they're looking at Cohen for business. And he has a business. The thing with Cohen is he has a business. I'm not a part of that business. They're looking at has a business. The thing with Cohen is he has a business. I'm not a part of that business. They're looking at him for business. And he said the word business probably 422 times in like a

two minute period. It was remarkable. And I believe within mere moments him saying that it was not a legal relationship became part of the case against Cohen. That's what I mean. He's his own prosecution.

One stop shop. He does, yes. He's his own prosecution. He was his own prosecution. One-stop shop, he does it all. Yes, he does. I know, he basically introduced that segment by saying, can you please put this into evidence? And then continued on. And he doesn't understand analogies, too. He said that Michael Cohen was like a bull in a china shop.

You know, I can't bring him in to fix things because he just messes up all the china like a bull. I'm like, that's not why thees up all the china like a bull i'm like that's not why the bull's in the china shop you know i mean i don't think you understand the the metaphor here how crazy you don't bring the bull in to fix the china can i just know how wild it is that you're mad that the bull is there quoting fox and friends verbatim what does it say about where we are up here quoting Fox and Friends verbatim. What does it say about where we are in culture right now?

It doesn't say anything good. We're really deep-seated, I think is what it is. Very deep-seated. And that's OK Stop. When we come back, we're going to play a game called Maverick or Rebel Without a Cause. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back!

Now for a game called Maverick or Rebel Without a Cause. Earlier this week, Mike Pompeo, which is the name of a real person and not a professional wrestler, was confirmed as the new Secretary of State. This despite the fact that he's one of the GOP's leading Benghazi conspiracy theorists, lied about his service in the Gulf War, and is affiliated with a bunch of anti-Muslim hate groups. But it wasn't smooth sailing for Pompeo. Most Democrats voted against his nomination, and even some Republicans threatened to vote against him, too.

threatened to vote against him too. One in particular, a man by the name of Rand Paul, made a big stink about how he would never support a guy like Mike Pompeo and then inevitably voted for him because Rand Paul is only cosplaying as a person with convictions. So, would anyone out there like to play the game? There's a Lisa with a mic. She's going to find somebody and merge. Hi, what's your name?

Betsy. Betsy. Nice to see you, Betsy. Nice to see you. Have you played a game before? No going to find somebody and merge. Hi, what's your name? Betsy. Betsy. Nice to see you, Betsy. Nice to see you. Have you played a game before? No, I was here last time. Oh, you were here last time. Good to see you. So here's how it works. I'm going to say a name and tell you what they said about a piece of legislation. If they ended up voting against

their party, you say Maverick. If they ended up voting with their party, you say Rebel without a cause. And they're going to come fast and furiously. Quickly and furiously. up voting with their party, you say rebel without a cause. And they're going to come fast and furiously. Quickly and furiously. Are you ready, Betsy? Yes. Do you follow the news, Betsy? Yes. Are you from LA? You're from the area? Right down the street. Cool. Cool. So this is just like a fun, easy thing for you. On June 23rd, 2016, Dirty Dean Heller, Senator from Nevada, claimed, I cannot support a piece of legislation that takes insurance away from tens of millions of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Nevadans.

Maverick or rebel without a cause? Maverick. No. Betsy, rebel without a cause. Just two days later, he voted for the bill. In October of last year, Senator Bob Corker from South Carolina said about the tax bill, quote, unless it reduces deficits, I don't have any interest in it, end quote. Maverick or rebel without a, a rebel without a cause.

Rebel without a cause. Absolutely. Less than two months later, he voted for the tax bill, saying that he understands it will add to the deficit, but he took a long walk and decided he should vote for it anyway. He then later said that if it does add to the deficit, it might have been a mistake. Unbelievable. In November of last year, Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona vowed to never vote for the Trump tax bill.

Maverick, a rebel without a cause. Rebel without a cause. Yes. He voted for the bill because he was given assurances that the movement would be made on the DACA bill, which we all know was totally fixed and not a problem anymore. Thanks to Jeff Flake. There's no more. You already got it. Senator Susan Collins

of Maine claimed that the provision to repeal Obamacare individual mandate must be dropped from the tax bill to earn her support. Maverick or rebel without a cause? Rebel without a cause. Yes! She voted for the tax bill that repealed the individual mandate. During the Republican rush to repeal Obamacare, the original Maverick I don't know if I like calling him the original

Maverick. John McCain Don't, you know bravely stood up and voted against the Republican healthcare bill. He made a valiant floor speech demanding to return to regular order the old way of legislating in the Senate, the way our rules and customs encourage to act. Maverick or rebel without a cause? Thumbtail Maverick. He was

a Maverick on that. However, he was also a rebel without a cause because just a few months later, he voted for the 500-page tax bill, which was given to senators just hours before the vote and contained a bunch of last-minute changes. Senator Ted Cruz of Mordor stood up proudly for women's rights when he said that the allegations against

Al Franken should be taken seriously. Maverick or Rebel Without a Cause? Rebel Without a Cause. Yes. Very soon after, he said that Roy Moore was welcome in the GOP. Senator Rob Portman of Ohio bravely stood up in 2013 and opposed any strike on Syrian soil. Maverick or Rebel Without a Cause? Rebel Without a Cause. Yes. Turns out he only opposes strikes if Obama wants to do it.

Democratic Senator Claire McCaskill said she had grave reservations about voting for Mike Pompeo. Maverick or rebel without a cause? Rebel without a cause. No. Maverick. She bugged her party and voted for Mike Pompeo.

I didn't say being a maverick was good. Yeah, you know how I feel about that one. And that's maverick or rebel without a cause. Only Democrats are Mavericks these days. Betsy, you've won. You've won a parachute gift card.

Thank you for being here. Now for a segment we call Straight to Voicemail. Kanye West, musician, style mogul, and the only cool member of the alt-right.

While he spent last week tweeting his support for Donald Trump, a lot of people were left wondering, doesn't he have a team of people to stop him? Well, you're in luck. He does. And we got some of the messages Kanye's manager left for him on his voicemail in a segment we call Straight to Voicemail. You know him from Rough Night, Broad City,

and getting chair massages at the Whole Foods on Fairfax. Please welcome Paul W. Downs. Hi Paul, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. Hey, KW. Kanye, baby, it's me, your manager Skeeter. So, look, you know I don't have Twitter, okay? My therapist wants me to be more present.

Adult ADD sucks. But, as you know, my assistant Logan, he prints out all your tweets for me. And I gotta say, buddy, a little concerned. Okay, they're looking bad. Look, you know I love you're a free thinker. I love it, I really do. Remember when you had,

remember when we had that dinner party? It was you, me, Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively. You spent the whole time screaming about how Steve Jobs stole your idea for a colorful computer with a handle. Gotta tell you, we loved it. My wife was thoroughly charmed. Really did. And it was so funny when you screamed at our mailman, Bill Cosby's innocent!

Wow! You really had us. I would never censor you, buddy. Okay, You're an artist. I'm not an artist. You're an artist. But I only ask you, my yeezus, that you pick your moments. Okay. Listen, baby, you be you, but do it in doses. All right. Leave people wanting more, you know, one thought, just a thought, take it or leave it. wanting more, you know? One thought, just a thought, take it or leave it. Don't go too hard on the pro-Trump stuff, okay? Please, just don't post a picture of yourself in the MAGA hat, whatever you do. All right, call me back, baby. One love. Hey, Yeezy. It's Mezey, your manager. That's what Mezey meant. Anyhoo, so listen, Logan printed out a photo of you in the Trump hat, and maybe you didn't get my first voicemail. I know it was long, and voicemails are

for old people, but this is the thing. I want to talk to you about this and how we're going to handle it, how we're going to get our arms around it, okay? I got a plan. It is not bad at all, okay? And you are not risking everything you've ever built. And by the way, I totally get that you both have dragon energy. I get it. It makes complete sense. And I'm happy you said it. You know, it sounds very mentally stable. But here's the deal.

The visual of you and two white guys with a Trump hat? Nah. It's not good. It's a lot for people. You're going to lose a lot of fans over this. Whatever you do, just don't post another photo. Okay, so Logan has just shown me that you posted another photo of Trump's signature on your hat and the word MAGA

and then a bunch of flame emojis. Okay, my Jesus, this is serious. Listen, I am your manager, and you need to respect me. This is bad, okay? This is worse for your bottom line than the Taylor stuff. This is more embarrassing than doing a song with Coldplay. Okay?

It's real bad. You know I hate to be the bad cop. I don't like confrontation, but at a certain point, I can't just be your friend, okay? I gotta manage you. That's my job. It's what built my house in Bel Air.

I need to give it to you straight. You are upsetting me. You're upsetting John Legend, and that is bad. Okay? This has to stop. It's got to stop now. You are a genius. You have a beautiful body of work that has inspired countless people,

millions, in fact. It's touched people. You've helped them understand their hopes and frustrations. That mattered. You matter, Kanye. Please, please stop. All right? I'm begging you. We're all begging you. All right. Call me back, brother. One love. Kanye. Kanye, it's me. It's Skeeter. Listen, I saw the tweet about you not having a manager anymore.

It's all good. Okay? I respect you. I believe in you. FYI, you are a nightmare client. Okay? And I have dragon energy is what crazy people scream before they ruin a dinner party. Oh, and you peeked it through the wire. All right?

But the door is always open. Love you so much. Bye forever! Guys. Those were the voicemails from Kanye's manager. Give it up for Paul W. Downs. Thank you. That was so funny.

Thank you for doing that. That was awesome. When we come back, a North Korea game. And we're back! Now for a game called Dancing at the 20-Yard Demilitarized Zone. I'm realizing that I know what happened is that I named a game with sports. Because it's dancing at the 20-yard line, and then there's an end zone. So it doesn't make sense to combine them, but who gives a shit? Donald Trump, one of the two people on earth

who could destroy the planet with the press of a button and you better believe he's giving it his best shots. Last month, Donald Trump decided on a whim to meet face-to-face with corrupt dictator and style icon Kim Jong-un. Many conservatives were quick to judge this as a triumph of American diplomacy and to be fair, a lot of Democrats were also excited

at the prospect of a diplomatic breakthrough with North Korea. Kim Jong-un crossing the DMZ to enter South Korea this week is an extraordinary moment in history. There are a lot of positive signs that things are going well at the moment, but a lot of foreign policy experts think that Korea has been trying to set a trap for us for a long time, and Trump is the first one, stupid enough, as you say, to fall into it. And so we'd like to highlight some of the games North Korea plays in a game we call Dancing at the 20-yard Demilitarize. Would someone out there like to play?

Hi, what's your name? I'm Hannah. Hannah. Hannah, thank you for playing. Here's how the game works. We're going to read you some questions about North Korea's conduct in the past. Each of our panelists has a card beneath their seats and it will be your job to suss out the correct answer. Are you ready? Alright. Question number one. Trump has been bragging about getting North Korea to stop its missile tests, but back in July

of 2016, North Korea already promised to stop its missile tests. What happened two months later? Was it A? North Korea tested a missile. Was it B? North Korea did not test a missile. Was it A? North Korea tested a missile. Was it B? North Korea did not test a missile. Was it C? The Access Hollywood tapes were released and Trump was forced

to drop out of the presidential election. I'm thinking I'm going to have to go with A. It was. It was A. Yeah. They promised to not test and then they tested. Question number two. Trump has been celebrating North Korea's declaration that it's ready to return to the negotiating table. In 2014, North Korea declared the exact same thing.

What happened before the talks, comedian? Was it A. The United States is forced to strengthen sanctions after Dennis Rodman visited North Korea and urinated on an American flag while listening to K-pop. Was it B. The United States is forced to strengthen sanctions after thousands of Sony employee emails

were leaked because Seth Rogen and James Franco made a film called The Interview that was totally worth it. Or was it C? The United States

is forced to strengthen sanctions after Kim Jong-un threatened to poison Brad Pitt for stealing his hairstyle. But the situation eventually calmed down

when Kim and Brad realized that they had the same Molly dealer. I think it's B. Yes, it was. It was the interview. I was stumped by that one. That movie caused a lot of problems.

Really unexpected. Because I remember when it was first announced, it was like, ooh, it's edgy. I wonder if it'll cause any problems. Holy shit. You know? It was like, wow, they're going after North Korea. I wonder what's going to happen. Wow, the worst case scenario for a comedy, for an R-rated comedy.

It's like when there was a fatwa against the South Park guys. Yeah. Right? Right. It's like, oh, we didn't think that was going to happen. Yeah, I know. Question number three, Hannah, you're doing great.

In February of 2012, after a meeting with the U.S., North Korea agreed to suspend activities at its uranium enrichment plant, inviting inspectors to monitor the site and stop testing missiles.

What happened next? Was it A? They held true to their moratorium on missile strikes for three years and only stopped after they decided

Obama was totally weak, the weakest president in history. Total disaster for America. Can you believe this guy? People are saying he's one of the worst presidents of all time. I'm not saying it. People are saying it. Or was it B? Kim Jong-un

still launched a bunch of missiles, but referred to them as sky guns. And since the U.S. didn't specify no sky guns, he technically didn't break the agreement. Or was it C? Just two months later, North Korea attempted to launch a satellite

to celebrate their birthday, but the satellite failed to make it to space and their birthday party was ruined. Ooh, those all felt like jokes. They did.

I'll just go with C. You got it. All right. It was the birthday party satellite. Fourth and final question. It's pretty clear that Trump thinks he is the first president who has ever been invited to North Korea. What president was also invited to meet the leader of North Korea?

Was it A? Barack Obama. Was it B? George W. Bush. Was it C? Bill Clinton. Or was it D? All of the above.

All of the above? Yes. Trump is just the only one to say yes. Because he's an idiot. Because it's lending the prestige and legitimacy of the whole operation. You know, America. Anyway, it's a propaganda coup. But hey, Kim Jong-un did cross the line.

That's pretty good. I don't know. Oh, Hannah won and she gets a card from Parachute. When we come back, the rant wheel. And we're back. Now for a segment we call the rant wheel. This week on the rant wheel, where we spin it and talk about the topic, we have the royal baby, which I think is asked and answered,

Romney sitting courtside at a Utah Jazz game, Shania Twain, Starbucks, Kanye, Connecticut pizza, the phrase, yeah, the phrase retweet if you agree, and ABBA. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Starbucks, which I believe was suggested by one Larry Wilmore. Sure, I'll go to Starbucks, which they treat me so nice now,

which is fantastic. You can order anything. I got an African Americano the other day. They just gave it to me. It's not even on the menu, you guys. It's not even on the menu. They just hand you shit. But to me, yeah, thank you very much. But to me, the thing that was lost in the whole Starbucks thing, that I love

it when white people find things out that black people have known for a long time. We call it Columbusing, is what it's called. I just love it when white people find things out that black people have known for a long time. We call it Columbus-ing, is what it's called. I just love it. It's fantastic. And it's okay. I understand. There's a lot of shit that goes on.

You guys are off doing other shit. You don't have time to keep up with the shit that we have to deal with all the time. I get it. I get it. But there's the Negro alarm that a lot of people just aren't aware of. The Negro alarm clock. Yes, the Negro Alarm Clock. Yes, the Negro Alarm Clock. What the Negro Alarm Clock is, it measures the amount of time that elapses from the moment a black person gets comfortable

and white people become alarmed, is what it is. So like at a Starbucks, it's usually set to like an hour and a half. Somebody misset that clock at the Starbucks. Like a country club, it goes off like immediately. Like those black women, the cops call, you know, they call cops on black women playing golf. Golf, Negro alarm clock goes off immediately. White people get very alarmed immediately. Popeye's, it's like a smoke alarm. It rarely goes off, you know. It's like you got to check the batteries on that just to

make sure it's still working. That type of thing. But I don't know what it is. When black people get extra comfortable, white people just become alarmed. And that, to me, is the lesson of the Starbucks. Yeah. It's true. And you know this is true, because white people were so amazed.

What's going on? We sit in here all the time and nobody does anything because nobody cares and you get comfortable. Right. We're allowed to get comfortable. Exactly. That's my point. And look, I've also long spoken on this stage about another way you can stick it to Starbucks

which is by never ordering an iced latte because it's a fool's game. Let's spin it again. That would be a Euro-Americano. It has landed on ABBA. Grace, you want to take this one? I have something. So did you guys hear that ABBA is releasing new music for the first time in 35 years this December?

My rant is quite brief. It's this. I'm very excited. I hope you guys are excited about new ABBA music. But what I'm not excited about is hope you guys are excited about new album music. But what I'm not excited about is the possibility of a third Mamma Mia. I didn't see the first one. I know there's a second one, which I also will not see.

But to think that there will be a third one is very upsetting. Also, I already have a question about the second Mamma Mia. Is it the same music from the first Mamma Mia or is it all new songs? It's the same songs? Hold on. So it's just dancing Queen over and over again? We have boomer researchers who are here to explain to us. Perfect. This is perfect. The intricate scenes of how Mamma Mia or is it all new songs? It's the same songs? Hold on. So it's just Dancing Queen over and over again? We have boomer researchers who are here to explain to us. Perfect. This is perfect.

The intricate scenes of how Mamma Mia works. They just saw it. What did you see? You just saw it at the movie theater. The previews. Oh, you saw a preview for it and you flipped the fuck out. You were like, holy shit, more ABBA musicals. We're in.

And Cher looks fabulous so apparently Cher is playing Meryl Streep's mom where's Meryl Streep I don't know what it's like the same plot where there's always three men and you don't know which one is the guy that did the sperm or something right did the sperm I feel like I like that did the sperm. I feel like... I like that. Did the sperm. Thank you. I know how babies are made. You might just say, here we go again. You know?

I'll be mine. Take a chance on it. If you change your mind, these baby boomers will be the first in line. All right, let's spin it again. It has landed on Connecticut pizza. Now, I've gotten into a bit of a spat with 100% of the nutmeg state

when I simply pointed out that their pizza's no good. New York, good. Chicago, good. New Jersey and Long Island, good. New York, good. Chicago, good. New Jersey and Long Island, good. Connecticut, whatever. This drew the ire not only of Senator Chris Murphy, Congressperson Rosa DeLauro, the Comptroller of the State,

as well as the ACLU of Connecticut. I really stepped in it. Did not see it coming. But it also drew the ire of Connecticut's own Travis Helwig, who's also a producer at Crooked Media, who is here to defend Connecticut pizza. Guys, give it up for Travis. Hello, everyone. My name is Travis Helwig. I work at Crooked Media. I'm very sad. I think I'm a good employee, John.

I work hard. I mean, I write everything you say. You get all the credit. I send you that email every morning you ask me to send that is just telling you you're more important than Jon Favreau. you asked me to send that is just telling you you're more important than Jon Favreau. I do what I can to make you happy, but you've crossed a line, sir.

I just want you to know that we don't have a lot in Connecticut. When people think of Connecticut, they think of two things. One, nothing. Or two, they think of rich people on horses with the mallet hitting the ball the horse golf and I just wanted to say that that's not what Connecticut is like Connecticut is just New Jersey we're just not proud of it it's a big state of garbage and I, I mean, my hometown was a factory town,

and our factory made asbestos. That's true. And when the asbestos factory closed down, the town was very sad. We long for the days of big asbestos. We have nothing. We have two things in Connecticut, John. We have pizza, which we love,

New Haven-style pizza, and we have women's basketball. No one is proud of being from Connecticut, but the one thing we have, sir, my boss, who I work very hard for, is that we have thin-crust pizza covered in grease, cooked way too hot in, like like a, I don't know, like an old thing that was made like 400 years ago. A troll makes the pizza.

Pepe's, Sally's, and Modern's Pizza in New Haven. And I want you to know that all you've been doing is attacking three small businesses. This liberal icon has been attacking three small businesses. This liberal icon has been attacking three small businesses. This intolerant, liberal phony. I just wanted to say

that I'm so disappointed in you, sir. And I want to just ask you one question. Who the fuck do you think you are? Guys, give it up for Travis Hellwig, formerly of Crooked Media, now scrounging around for freelance work on TruTV.

Guys, the one and only Travis Hellwig still technically has an agent and a manager. Reach out to them whenever you want. You also don't know this about me, but I was born in New Haven, Connecticut. Oh, shit. I was born in New Haven, Connecticut, inside of a pizza. So,

I too took minor offense, but I generally don't care. Okay. Okay. I don't know. I picked a fight with a state, and it was a draw. Spin it again. It has landed on, quote, retweet if you agree, end quote. Dear Mr. President, America is better than you, and we'll be here long after you're gone.

Retweet if you agree. I think misogyny has no place in the workplace. I'm a man, but I respect women. Retweet if you agree. I'm a preening narcissist who spends way too much time online trying to build a brand and I'm exploiting

your political views to gain followers based on somebody clicking follow off of a retweet, which is the saddest fucking thing in the world. Retweet if you agree. Someone says retweet if you agree, unfollow those people. Say goodbye to them. Say no.

I agree. Unf no. I agree. Unfollow if you agree. Connecticut pizza sucks. Retweet if you agree. I believe in something. Those tweets are the Connecticut pizza of tweets. As in, I don't need them, and I won't miss them when they're gone.

Let's spin it again. Let's, all of them, spin it again. Clear the board. It has landed on Romney's sitting court side, and as you guys know, I'm a huge, huge basketball fan. And obviously I'm aware that the Oklahoma City Thunder went up against the Utah Jazz in a basketball game. And Mitt Romney was sitting courtside in a collared shirt with a Utah Jazz jersey over the collared shirt. That was the lamest fucking thing

I had ever seen in my life. And I will be honest in saying to myself, is that a custom that I'm not aware of? Is that what older, former presidential candidates, is that what's expected? Because obviously Mitt Romney's not going to show up in a jersey with no sleeves beneath it.

That feels like a lot. That's a lot, right? To show up with just the jersey. The guns, yeah. The guns blazing. Those Mormon guns fucking out. So I figured, okay, there'll be something underneath. But a button-down?

A Brooks Brothers button-down? Sir, is that what you would do to the baby boomers are pulling baby boomers that's not what you do says the baby boomer who's with it totally with it so i saw this and i thought i noted it and then but then i realized the reason i saw it is apparently mid romney was mocking a person on the opposing team i think he's's rooting for the Utah Jazz because that's part of his way of appealing to people in Utah and his journey to be a regular person who becomes a senator of that state. But he was mocking a man by the name of Russell Westbrook, who plays for the Thunder.

Isn't it funny that both the Jazz and the Thunder are arrhythmic noise teams? They're also like a song from Imagine Dragons, I both the Jazz and the Thunder are arithmic noise teams? You know? They're also like a song from Imagine Dragons, I think. Jazz and Thunder. It also could be like a group that sings political songs. An acapella group, specifically. Yeah, like an acapella group. But anyway, apparently Mitt Romney, while wearing a button-down shirt and a jazz jersey over it,

was mocking Russell Westbrook who I think is very cool because I know who Russell Westbrook is because he wears fashionable interesting outfits and he looked very handsome in a Ramones t-shirt and ripped jeans and people and I tweeted it and I said how dare the man in that jersey insult this handsome man in a Ramones shirt and cool ripped jeans who look very cool in the photo. And also sometimes kind of androgynous photos, which I also really appreciate. It's like, look at that, bringing that energy to sports. We need more of that.

How dare you, Mitt Romney? And then people started saying to me, does Russell Westbrook even listen to the Ramones? First of all, that's racist to assume that Russell Westbrook doesn't listen to the Ramones. Right. Why? Why can't he listen to the Ramones? First of all, that's racist. To assume that Russell Westbrook doesn't listen to the Ramones. Right? Why? Why can't he listen to the Ramones? You don't fucking know. You don't know what's in that. He's literally wearing ear pods.

He could literally be listening to the Ramones. That's number one. Number two, I don't give a shit what Russell Westbrook is listening to when he's in his Ramones outfit, because he looks cool as fucking hell. And if Mitt Romney wants to make fun of somebody, could turn that lens around. Mitt Romney in that outfit.

Is this what it's like to, like, live inside your brain? It is rough in there, John. I don't know. I mean, it started with all that hate for the royal baby and now, you know,

old white man can't go to a basketball game now. Connecticut's got to kill itself. Should we do one more? You guys okay if we do one more spin of the wheel? Yeah, let's do it.

Let's spin it again. It has landed on Scott Pruitt. So the funny thing about Scott Pruitt is he's like under not one, not two, not three, but like five investigations for ethical behavior. Ten, sorry, ten. Five was like the last time and they just keep adding and um and you know okay so there's like the stuff you know a lot of stuff we've heard about um you know he pays 50 a night in rent because he got an apartment from like an energy lobbyist he like um gave people raises he wasn't supposed to he spends a lot of money he wanted wanted a crazy detail. One of the things that's in there that's so endemic to everyone in the Trump administration

is he bought expensive furniture. And I'm just like, why do these people have such a fucking hard-on for office furniture? I mean, look, if he was spending this money on prostitutes and cocaine like a normal person, I would respect that. But what? You're like shopping for furniture at Bergdorf Goodman? I don't respect that. It's not a great way

of wasting government funds. Yeah, didn't Ben Carson's wife spend $30,000? Yes, they're all obsessed with furniture. It's outrageous. It's also like, you're not an Obama cabinet secretary. You're a Trump secretary.

How long do you think you're going to be in this job? Don't get too comfortable. You feel stable? You feel you have a stable boss who's going to stick by you? What are you talking about? Don't buy furniture. Get yourself something to use on a vacation.

You know? Again, cocaine! Like, be a normal person who's being fraudulent. He got a bulletproof chairs and desk.

It's a lot. Is he an Avenger now? What is he doing? I want to just say one thing about the Shania Twain thing just to leave it there. Someone just shouts, the worst. We say that about too many people. The number of people we as a collective

have described as the worst is too long. But it's true. No, the thing I wanted to say about Shania Twain, which was really... Shania Twain said she's Canadian, but she would have voted for Trump. And then she said, I don't mean it. I'm sorry. Because the internet was like, nope.

No. No, no, no. Don't come at us with that bullshit. You know? You leave that shit. You leave that shit in Montreal. You leave that shit in Newfoundland. You leave that shit in Montreal. You leave that shit in Newfoundland. You leave that shit in Vancouver, Ontario.

Cold. You leave that shit at Lake Champlain. Saskatchewan. You leave that shit in Saskatchewan. But she said that Trump seemed honest. And, yes, no, but... Honest. Honest. Trump seemed honest. And yes, no, but, but, but. Honest. Honest.

Seemed honest. He seemed honest. At least Kanye said they're both like dragons. I mean. Which is much cooler. I'm just going to get ahead of this joke. That don't impress me much. Let's move on.

Let's move on. Let's move on from it. Don't applaud for that. That was shameful. I agree. But, but I thought it was interesting because i think it speaks to something about also what kanye said which is that i need to think freely uh i need to be myself and there's this this this uh this way in which we say to people like it's really really important to seem honest it's really really important to seem authentic it's really really, really important to seem authentic.

It's really, really important to be yourself as opposed to being, say, like, correct. You know, be yourself and be crazy and wrong about something. Be yourself and don't have any information on which to go on. Or vote for Trump because he seems like he tells it like it is, even though he does not at all. And, you know, a reporter made this point that there was this category error that we made in 2016, which is everybody called Hillary a liar and Donald Trump a bullshitter. Right. But that was backwards. Hillary Clinton was more of a bullshitter and Donald Trump was the liar. Well, see, John, to me, it's like Hillary lies like a politician, but Trump lies like

a crackhead. You know, he lies like an alcoholic. I mean, that's exactly it's like Hillary lies like a politician, but Trump lies like a crackhead. You know, he lies like an alcoholic. I mean, that's exactly it's just different, you know. Right. But I think it speaks to the fact that like for a lot of people, he seems authentic, which is a word that has like lost all meaning. And I think we made like a huge mistake as a culture, which was to prize this virtue of authenticity, because the second we told politicians that authenticity was a virtue worth striving toward and presenting, it became something a lot of people figured out how to fake. And so there's a ton of performative authenticity, which is obviously an oxymoron. And we need to figure out how to get out of this and figure out how to get people to do like perform like everything people are going to do now is going to

be performative, right? We live in like a culture where we're all totally exposed. So we have to figure out some trait. We want politicians to seem like they care about. And I think we need to switch from like performative authenticity to performative integrity. And I don't know how we get people to do it, but we need to get away from the somebody

you'd want to have a beer with more to the someone you'd let watch your laptop or some or someone we you'd let babysit your kids or someone you would take advice from in a career opportunity yeah and so i don't know how we make to someone who can actually fucking run the country yes that would be very good we should be voting for yeah because i know what shania twain means when she says he seems honest. And the problem is seeming honest is so, so unimportant compared to being honest. But the culture doesn't really make that true in how things are covered.

Well, the other meaning under that, too, is like he's honest about his racism. Right. You know, like, well, yeah, he's racist, but he's honest. You know, so I like him for that. I think it's Norm MacDonald who makes this point about Bill Cosby and saying, oh, he played this character. And some people would say, like, oh, the worst part is the hypocrisy. It's like, no, no.

The worst part is the rape. Yes. That's correct, no, no. The worst part is the rape. Correct, yes. That's correct. You know? Yes. Perspective. We've lost perspective. We've lost some perspective. So, anyway, Shania Twain, the mob came for you and you said whatever you want and

good for you. We wish you all the best. That's our show. I want to thank our incredible panel, McGee and Farside, Grace Powell, Larry Wilmore, Paul W. Downs, and the very talented Travis Elwick. Says it right here on the card.

Thank you guys so much for coming out. Have a great night. It's not a believer. Respecting all monsters. It's not a believer. It's not a believer.