Lovett or Leave It - Fun Hundred Days

Episode Date: April 29, 2017

Stephen Merchant, Moshe Kasher, and Pam Brady join Jon to discuss Trump's first hundo, plus Stephen faces a daunting quiz. Special thanks to Ja Rule for allowing us to record at Fyre Festival.

Thanks for coming to Love It or Leave It. I am your host, John Lovett. Let me introduce our panel. He's an actor who was in the highest-grossing movie of 2017 so far, but his part was cut out. He's also in the second-highest-grossing movie of 2017, and his part wasn't cut out, just heavily minimized during editing, Stephen Merchant.

Hi, Stephen. Thank you very much. Thank you. He's the host of an awesome new show on Comedy Central, Problematic with Moshe Kosher. I was actually a guest on one of the test shows. That's when they like you enough to have you on the show, but not enough to have you on a show that will air.

Welcome Moshe Kosher. Hey. And our final guest. She was a deputy national security advisor under Gerald Ford.

I don't think that's right. She's also a very funny writer, writing shows like South Park and now Lady Dynamite. Pam Brady. Hi. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you for having us.

Stephen, tell us a little bit about your role in Beauty and the Beast and what happened. Yeah, it stings. I was asked if I would appear in Beauty and the Beast, the most successful film of 2017. And so I went down to Pinewood Studios in England and they dressed me up. And I've not seen Beauty and the Beast, either version, or read the script. I'm a maverick. And apparently

lots of characters get turned into objects, I think, and then maybe get turned back into people again at the end. Is that kind of vaguely what happens? Oh, don't play dumb with us. Honestly. And they wanted someone to cameo to be the guy who transformed back from a toilet.

And that was me. So they doused me in sort of fake urine and then they filmed me and I sort of just looked shocked and just said, the horror. And then they cut it out. But you probably want to know my opinions on north korea yeah that's great hollywood hollywood let's get into it uh so uh happy first 100 days of trump everybody how you guys how do you guys feel? Pretty good? It's been cool. Now, I know it feels long, so I thought I would help by putting it

in context. It's only 7% of his first term. There's 93% left. I did a little math before the show. They say that politics isn't a sprint, it's a marathon. We have not yet jogged two miles of the 26-mile Trump marathon.

For you coastal elites, if you were flying from New York to LA, we're just out of New Jersey. We're above Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. And one more, one more for fun. If we were flying to the moon, we have not yet reached DirecTV's satellite. Because it is in geostationary orbit.

Dude, the listener at home. Two people have killed themselves already. Wow. Yeah, brutal, isn't it? It's going to be a long 1,460 days. I snuck one in. I didn't even plan that one. John.

Thank you guys for coming to Santa Monica. John, is this a bad time to tell you that I voted for Trump? No. We want some difference. We want, you know, I'm very excited to hear why. Everyone's super pumped up. Speaking of human toilets. You did work for Gerald Ford.

So, 100 days in. Before we get into the week, I kind of wanted to step back. We have a little bit of context now as to the Trump presidency. I think a lot of us expected things to be pretty dire. Where are heads at? Do we think he's exceeded our expectations? Of direness?

Well, either direction, right? Has it been as bad as we were afraid it was going to be? I mean, let's be honest about it. I think there's exceeded our expectations? Of direness? Well, either direction, right? Has it been as bad as we were afraid it was going to be? I mean, let's be honest about it. I think there's been a lot. I mean, you know, again, throughout this podcast, please bear in mind that I am looking at you, obviously, from an outsider's point of view. So you're very much like a zoo to me,

and I just peer in. But I can leave at any time and go to the wonderful world of Brexit and it's all fine. So obviously I couch everything from an outsider's point of view. I couldn't vote, I didn't vote and it's your president

although he of course has an impact on the entire fucking globe but I think he's got a lot of criticism for not achieving a great deal. I think it's very hard to get anything done in a hundred days. I don't know that you can get... It took me about six months to choose a couch.

You know? And he's been moving house, and he's had all sorts of stuff. So I genuinely, I don't know. Are people normally getting a lot of shit done in 100 days? I mean, don't you have to just get the machinery oiling up during that time?

Honestly, I don't know. You know, he's not doing that well. So, like, President Obama Obama by this point had passed a stimulus bill to revive the economy. He had begun the work on a Wall Street bill. The health care process was ongoing. He had continued bailing out parts of the economy that were

failing. So I think that he had done more. I'll tell you how I feel. I'm pretty happy with the federal judge system I kind of forgot that that existed and I was like oh cool yeah dunk on that fool

is that an American slang? yeah it's like when you're young and cool and you're not a Brexity dude you just say dunk on that fool and by young and cool you mean what? 37 years old and really trying desperately to maintain.

I guess that's how I would describe myself. Pulling off a mid-twenties outfit like nobody's business. That's what I'm saying. You really are. I mean, that shirt is buttoned all the way to the top. It is, isn't it?

It's buttoned all the way down, too, if you know what I mean. That's a sex thing. I will fuck you. So what I am genuinely upset about is the degree of nastiness. I think that not from him. And I expected him to be a pig. And I expected him to be awful. And he has come through in spades.

I expected him to be a pig and I expected him to be awful and he has come through in spades. But what's scary to me is the sort of awakened dragon of American hate. And the fact that my timeline is filled with like silhouettes of Nazi propaganda, although a lot of it is kind of funny. It's a bummer to me that it's like anti-Semitism is like kind of getting its sort of groove back. You know what I mean? And a Jew is? It's like, so, it's like, you know when you're like young and cool, right? But you kind of control the media and stuff like that.

Tell him about. I heard about him. Tell him about Fagin from Oliver Twist, something he'll understand. Oh, I like that guy. So stealing,ieving he's got a bunch of pockets a lot of schemes and he might be a pedophile yeah yeah yeah yeah

alright yeah I love Jews they're cool we honestly we have like four Jews in England yeah but they control

everything oh they do they do yeah so Trump no so but no but to to both of your points

I actually think one thing that's been really cool is like, hey, Madisonian democracy, kind of helping us out, right? They've got control of all three branches of government. They can't repeal a health care bill. It's going to be almost impossible for them to pass a big tax reform bill. They're kind of stymied on the Hill,

even though they control all branches of government, which has been a real relief. I mean, the only thing, you look at where Trump is now, and you say, okay, well, he hasn't passed a big piece of banner legislation in his first 100 days. And I agree that the first 100 days metric is silly, but presidents only have a limited time before the reelection starts and everything else and crises creep in. It's always what happens. So he didn't get anything big done legislatively. He has rolled back some Obama-era regulations, both passing things through Congress and signing executive orders. He has succeeded in undermining our institutions, integrity, corruption.

These things are now harder and harder to stop. He has Ivanka starting some kind of a fund while in office. So he's undermining the institution. So he's succeeding there. But on the whole, I think we've been – it was always a question, what's going to hurt us more, Trump's malevolence or Trump's incompetence? What's going to be the thing that sinks us? And right now, the incompetence is kind of protecting us. Yeah, it is unraveling, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Can I just ask a question? Again, this is a serious question from an ex-pilots. Who is a guy with a nose and like a beard? Thank you. And what are the ones with the little curly hair? It's all the same thing. We're under a bigger. Thank you. And what are the ones with the little curly hair? It's all the same thing. We're under a bigger umbrella.

Okay. No, in all seriousness, so why, if he's got, if all the houses are Republican and so on, why can he not get anything done? I don't quite understand that. Yeah, I feel like he doesn't know that either. Okay, you're comparing me to Trump now. That seems... You don't know anything about our government.

You've been on television for quite some time. Yeah. Hey, if you could get a decent booking on a Friday night that wasn't me, good luck to you, all right? I was available. I was willing to drive to the West Side. Now I'm getting shit? From a Jew?

I mean, come on. Ah, you figured it out. Yeah. Now you sound just like one of us. From a Jew? I mean, come on. Ah, you figured it out. Now you sound just like one of us. So why can't Trump pass anything? Let's dig more into anti-Semitism. We're getting at something real. I feel like there's two things going on. One is the difference between Trump's version of the Republican Party

and Paul Ryan's version of the Republican Party and those things have a lot of difference and the other is Trump is catching up with the fact that he made a whole mess of totally irresponsible promises he had no intention of keeping you know he had this 100 days document filled with just a raft of promises he was never going to keep which brings us to where we are right now which is he tried for the third time to pass a health care bill in a week and everyone's like no please please stop please stop making us try to do this uh he put out a tax reform plan that was one page and a bunch of different fonts like one more hour on that doc man like one more hour on it it is almost like they're trying to troll us like they're trying to troll us.

Like they're doing it on purpose. Like yesterday they blamed the Obama administration for not properly vetting Mike Flynn, his security advisor. He's like, are you doing, is this comedy? This feels like comedy. Ooh, he fired. It's like, yeah, Obama. So it's like, we don't want you here anymore. He leaves.

He takes some money from Russia. And Trump's like, there's my guy. That is my guy. But you know, he's a New York real estate guy. And that's what was so funny when he's like, I'm going to listen to the generals. And they're going to give me a plan about how to take care of ISIS. I want to see a beautiful plan. It's like talking about a foyer.

I want a beautiful plan. A beautiful bedroom and attached garage. But he has no intention of following through. Well, it's interesting. So on the foreign policy front, it does seem as though he's gotten kind of absorbed into the Republican establishment, right? That's why he did the Syria attack.

That's why in North Korea, his language is insane. But day to day, it doesn't look that dissimilar from what a Republican or Democratic administration was going to be. But on the domestic front, he had this crazy week of activity trying to make up for the fact that he didn't do very much, which leads to his tweets about a government shutdown. If you read between the lines on Donald

Trump's tweets, you might get the sense that he wants a shutdown. Here's what he said. The Democrats want to shut government if we don't bail out Puerto Rico and give billions to their insurance companies for Ocare failure. No! I promise to rebuild our military and secure our border. Democrats want to shut down the government. Politics! As families prepare for summer vacations in our national parks, Democrats

threaten to close them and shut down the government. Terrible! Pam. Yes, John. Why do you think Donald Trump wants shut down the government. Terrible! Pam. Yes, John. Why do you think Donald Trump wants to shut the government down? Look, it doesn't make any sense to me, especially with summer just right around the corner. It is mind-boggling.

I really don't think from hour to hour he knows what he's going to do. He is just keeping it exciting, which is why everyone's feeding into it, which is why keeping it exciting, which is why everyone's feeding into it, which is why it's exciting, which is why smarter people are trying to figure out what he's doing. He's not going to be able to tell you what he's doing. I really don't think so.

I mean, you know what's funny, too? I love that he's at the NRA today, talking to the NRA. No guns. You can bring guns on public schools. You can bring guns everywhere, but not to hear him speak, which is absolutely, isn't that perfect? Well, no, it's really smart to not let guns there. They're really dangerous.

They're literally meant to kill people. I get the policy. The problem with Trump is that he's like a puppy, right? In that he does not belong in the office of the presidency. And he goes where the love is. He goes to the person that's petting him. And so whoever's petting him, he kind of goes there and is like, oh, this is where the petting is.

And the problem is right now the main pets are coming from the drums of war. And every time he pokes North Korea, everybody's like, oh, yeah, that seems like a good... Let's do that. Let's have a war. I read a statistic today. 37% of Americans feel like they're in an acute threat from North Korea.

Why? Why? I don't feel that. Why? Because they have one bomb that can't get here? But they're going to have a bomb that gets here at some point, and they're going to be able to reach the West Coast, which is terrifying, given that I recently bought property here. I mean...

You mean globally it's terrifying, given that you recently bought... Yeah, but... I love that guy. The value is going to fall at the bottom of the market. I mean, I'm trying to... If anyone wants to buy a very nice house, it's available now. It's like... Terrifying.

By the way, also, you see these North Korean parades, and you look at Kim Jong-un's face, and that's a guy who's cheating. You look at the, those are empty tubes. Yeah, but the marching's tremendous. It's great marching. Excellent marching. It's great marching. There's some really terrific marching.

They've got the marching down. For people that aren't eating, it's a really good marching. The authoritarians love, they love seeing feet moving in sequence. They want a hop kick. Yeah. They love that. They love that. All I know is something that I heard a bloke in the pub say.

Now, wait. What's a pub and what's a bloke? Thank you for asking. I live in London because I have two homes. Whoa. And I was in my London residence, and I lived... Come on.

There's nothing wrong with that. Which is obviously where I'll be moving, safe, because they can't reach London with their bombs. But hang on. Live through him. I want a French baker to drop down and just cut your head off. Vive la revolution! I don't know what French is.

Jealousy is a really unpleasant trait. But anyway, so I live bizarrely in North London, not far from the North Korean embassy. So the North Korean ambassador was there and he lived with his family and so on

and we didn't hang out, we weren't friends. But not for want of trying. But anyway, apparently somewhere between him leaving London and being recalled, he defected. And he then gave an interview in which he said that Kim Jong-un, which everyone is, yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I've offended the North Korean leader by not knowing his exact name. Heaven forfend. But anyway, he said that the guy is crazy and will just happily...

He would rather go down in a blaze of flame and glory than to give up. So when you said, I heard from a bloke at the pub, you meant I heard from the North Korean ambassador? Don't doubt the man's sources. Don't doubt his sources. That's pretty good. I'd say that was pretty legit.

That is pretty good. He wasn't talking to me. He was talking to someone else. You're a spy. You're a spy. You were getting drunk at three in the afternoon. So anyway, the North Koreans are going to get us. Yep.

That's fact. When we come back. Okay, stop. What's the deal with this fucking seat? There is a real power differential happening This is a very Kim Jong Il move Yeah, we get it I'm going to bring us back Because I want to talk about this chair situation

Just for the people listening at home My three guests are are sitting in chairs, I would say, are audience level. And I'm in a fantastic wingback. And we are going to do this every fucking week from now on. Now a game called OK Stop. Here's how OK Stop works. We're going to play a clip from this week. And when it gets too crazy, when we want to comment on it, we say OK Stop. Here's how OK Stop works. We're going to play a clip from this week and when it gets too crazy, when we want to comment on it, we say OK Stop and then we talk about it.

This week we will be going through an interview Donald Trump did with Reuters that came out today where he described the challenge. You guys are on the news. I hate that news organization. Give me the Associated Press anytime, baby!

They prefer Agence France-Presse. You guys are on top of it. That came out today. Chill out, guys. You can be part of the resistance without being on your phones all the time. But anyway, in this clip, Donald Trump describes the challenges

and surprises of being president of the United States. Jesse, let's hear it. Well, I loved my previous life. I love my previous life. I had so many things going. I actually, this is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.

I thought it was more of a, I'm a details-oriented person. Okay, stop. Even if it were true, if we wanted to believe that Donald Trump is a details-oriented person, real dot in the eyes, crossing the T's tight, how could that possibly be something you say right after saying you didn't realize that the presidency of the United States of America

was a tougher job than being a host of Celebrity Apprentice and putting your names on midtown apartment complexes. But of course it's, you know, I mean, it's much harder because, you know, for instance now, if he wants to grab a pussy, the Secret Service need to inspect it first.

They need to go in with metal detectors asking ladies, could you turn out your pussy so we can inspect? I mean, it's a whole procedure. You know, one of the real victims of this whole election process has been the word pussy. Sure. It used to be a great comedy word that would get you just,

oh, that guy, fa-ha-ha. I didn't expect him to say that. Now it's like, now I'm associated with that, you know? R.I.P. pussy. He's also the comedic value... I've been saying that for years. I don't even know what that joke means. I don't either. I'm just enjoying it.

Did you kill the pussy? Is the pussy dying because... Let's turn this back against Trump. You can't use the word Trump as a verb without people being like... And you also can't talk about... I mean, listen, this isn't that much of a loss for me personally.

I don't know about you guys, but you can't say golden shower without people thinking about the dossier. There's all kinds of terms that Trump has ruined comedically. There's another one, a huge one, is the real cucks of the world. A cuck is actually a word... Cuck is old as time.

Yeah, from cuck old, from Shakespearean times, right? Which is somebody that got cheated on. But then it came to me, a guy who just innocently wants to watch his wife get banged by like four to 17 black dudes. And now there's got to be a conservative cuck out there that's like, dude, you've ruined this for me. I voted Trump and now the racism was part of it for me.

Now when I search Craigslist, it's just groups of people who I disagree with politically. Fucking my wife. Well, there's someone we forgot about, though. Billy Bush. Where's that cuck? The real victim. The real victim in all this.

He's the only person who's lost a job. Unreal. Bill O'Reilly, it took a decade. Roger Ailes was creeping around for 25 years. Billy Bush, one and done. That's good. I'm not against that. I don't wish Billy Bush was around.

Well, guess what? Billy Bush! So if Trump didn't realize that the presidency was going to be hard, I mean, truthfully, what was he expecting? It seems like he just really didn't give it a lot of thought. Yeah. Keep in mind, he announced because he wanted to goose apprentice ratings in the fall.

That's how bad we were at stopping Donald Trump. It's not as easy as going bankrupt four times. Right. Is the problem. Do you really think it's about the ratings? Do I think that's why Trump ran? Or do you go the

front line way? Do you think he ran because he was humiliated by Obama at the correspondence dinner? Which was your fault. We've talked about that. Listen, I have a small role.

That's true. Are you responsible, John? Are you the reason we're here? Look, I served at the pleasure of the president. I was just following orders. Those jokes, you know what? When... Those jokes were too good. Listen, I served at the pleasure of the president. I was just following orders. Those jokes, you know what? Those jokes were too good. Listen, I sit

at my desk, the phone rings, it's Judd Apatow, I do what he says. I write it down, I slide it to my friend Jon Favreau, who was my boss. I didn't know what was going to happen. Let's keep doing the clip. But I do miss my old life.

I like to work, so that's not a problem. But this is actually more work. And while I have very little privacy in my old life, because I've been famous for a long time, this is much less privacy than I've ever seen before. I mean, this is something that's really amazing. At the same time... First of all, he has a vocabulary of maybe 75 words.

The loss of privacy has been something just really amazing. He has all the superlatives, though. He's really good at saying things are positive, even when he's describing a negative thing, which is interesting. Amazing. Terrific. Fantastic. It's been terrific to watch my family die slowly of leukemia like that's been a really amazing process for me But is this really the biggest pressure? He's been feeling as president that he can't go to certain restaurants anymore

You're dealing with North Korea. What are you talking about? You can get a bird like he just wants a burnt steak at a Trump restaurant, and he can get that anywhere. Isn't one of your sponsors Postmates? It is. I mean, Postmates deliver from lovely restaurants all over. Yes. I don't know why I was complaining about it.

Are you looking for a $60 steak cooked through all the way till it's rock hard with ketchup? How about pork that's kept at 58 degrees at Mar-a-Lago? All these things can deliver to you. Oh, what? We're in the pork industry?

What's going on? Oh, what? I've offended the North Koreans and the pork farmers in here? Yeah. Pork farmers. The other thing is his saying that

he doesn't mind working hard, but this is a lot of work. First of all, he hasn't taken a single foreign trip He's gone to Mar-a-Lago like half the time. He's gone to other part. He is working so little I've done more foreign trips, you know between my two homes It's exhausting. I've seen people writing pilots that take that work all weekend and suddenly this guy's gonna

Negotiating deals and he's he can hit And look, sometimes you go to Ojai, but that's the focus. Yeah, Ojai to write. That's true. But to be fair, we all knew this dude wasn't supposed to be a politician

or the president for sure. He's totally incompetent and just some buffoonish ghoul from the dregs below the mafia in New York. And now he's the president of the United States. And that is a lot of work.

I mean, it's a really intense job. It's the most intense job in the world, probably. Well, he has given a lot of it away to Jared. To be honest, he's not doing that much. It's Jared, it's Steve, it's Ivan. Thank God Jared is there. Thank God. What a misfit.

Jared plus Wikipedia. Jewish word. Is doing... I will say, everybody that calls me like a Jew online, every time I get that in that inbox,

I think about Jared Kushner and my profound gratitude that there's an Orthodox Jew pulling the puppet strings just to make that piece of shit racist in my inbox upset. I know it keeps them up at night. Bigger fish to fry, but it also bothers me how kind of waspy Jared looks.

It's like, how am I? Oh, is he a Jewish fellow? Yes. Is he? I didn't know. Oh, Stephen. You told me all the traits. The hair and the nose and everything.

Did you just peel the head for warts? If you're going to sneak around, how am I going to know? all the traits. The hair and the nose and everything. Do you feel the head for warts? If you're going to sneak around, how am I going to know? But the cast... That's all we do is sneak around. No, come on. That's the only way we locomote. If there was only a way to identify them. Oh, no, it's dark.

That's dark. I'm going to take that back. I am Jewish. The cast of characters that he has arrayed at the White House is so amazing. You could not... Chekhov couldn't write this cast of characters that he has arrayed at the White House is so amazing. Like, you could not, Chekhov couldn't write this cast of characters. Like, Sebastian Gorka, the fucking, he's like a torturer from The Princess Bride. I'm going to do my impression now. I'm going to do my, everybody ready?

Oopsie doopsie, I've joined a Nazi group. I've joined a Nazi group, you gotta say. Oopsie doopsie, I've been fired for not having any kind of formal role. Oopsie doopsie, I can't stop wearing my Nazi pin. Do you notice that he's always wearing the pin? He's like, ah, fuck.

Mike Pence looks like a man who has been replaced by an identical robot double of himself. He's the Stepford, Stepford Vice President. And fucking Jeff Sessions, that guy, thank God,

because I grew up eating his cookies, the E.L. Fudge cookies, and it's cool to see him back in the game. Lots to unpack there. And that's okay. Stop. And we're back. Yeah. Now for a segment we call There's just like so much going on.

How many of you guys saw that there was a case in front of the Supreme Court this week about citizenship and naturalization. Anybody? A couple people? A couple people? The goal there is to seem like few people heard it. Thank you for applauding so loudly. Because, you know, Trump is president. There's a lot going on.

So there's this case, and it's a case about whether or not the Supreme Court... The Supreme Court is ruling on whether you can revoke somebody's naturalization, their citizens, based on a lie they told in the process and how far the government can go to do that. Now, this is important because the Trump administration has staked out a pretty hard line on citizenship

up to and including birthright citizenship, which is basically you're a citizen by birth, right? That's sacrosanct. That's the 14thct. That's the 14th Amendment. But even Trump has attacked that. And this is something that Bannonites, the Stephen Millers of the world, they'd like the ability to make it harder for people to become citizens, but also for naturalized citizens who may be lied in the process in some insignificant way to have that status revoked, right? Because if you can basically take away somebody's citizenship,

you can deport them. They lose the rights of citizenship. Very scary. So here's the thing. The Trump administration lawyer comes before the Supreme Court and basically says the law is pretty clear. It doesn't matter what the lie is. It doesn't matter why you're lying. If it's material to your naturalization process, right? You lied about being a member of a gang and you shouldn't be allowed to become a citizen. Or it's an immaterial reason, something you did wrong that wouldn't have barred you from becoming a citizen, that the Trump administration lawyer says

it doesn't matter what it is, you should be able to lose citizenship. That's a very big deal. A big deal enough that it got the members of the Supreme Court really upset. So Chief Justice Roberts says, what if I went over the speed limit?

I went 60 in a 55 and I wasn't arrested but I know I did it and I lied on the form. Could I lose citizenship over that? And the lawyer's like, uh, uh, uh, but basically says yes. And Roberts is like, oh, come on, that's ridiculous. And this sets the justices all off.

So Sotomayor says, what if I didn't enclose a nickname because in high school the kids called me faggot? Supreme Court got excited. She said the F word, but she meant fag or faggot. Supreme Court got excited. She said the F word, but she meant fag or faggot. I'm almost sure. I couldn't think of another one. It seems like she was implying that. Anybody else see that?

I think that's what she was. Yeah, yeah. She was talking about fags. I can say that. It's my word. Breyer says, what if I brought a pocket knife to work and I didn't tell anybody because it wasn't that big a deal and I got away with it? If I didn't disclose it, is that lie enough 20 years later to

revoke citizenship? And again, the guy, Hems and Hawes, but basically says that's what the law says. And Kagan asks, what if she lied about her weight? Well, you... I feel like you just got upset because you lied about your weight when you

applied to become an American citizen. But I'm not sure that that's true. Anyway, this is really important because citizenship is sacrosanct. If any person who was naturalized can lose that citizenship because the Justice Department, the federal government, goes back in and digs through their file

and finds some insignificant, immaterial lie. That means citizenship for immigrants is not real. And that is what they want. They want people who are citizens of the United States to be afraid of the federal government. And this is going to be a fight that goes on for a very long time. And we need to just not give one inch on the citizenship question. It's 14th Amendment stuff, basic stuff, and they are coming for this.

Wouldn't this be an issue with Melania? Because didn't she say she loved Donald Trump? Well, by the standard, it is almost impossible to deny that by the standard set forth by the Trump administration at the Supreme Court that Melania Trump could lose her citizenship. But thankfully, the Supreme Court is going to stop them because the judges all got super

angry. And Justice Kennedy ended his questioning by saying, it seems to me that your argument is demeaning the priceless value of citizenship. And that really is what they're trying to do. And it's really scary, but we have to stay on it. I'm nervous as someone who at least, at the very least, may wish one day to, you know, become a US citizen.

And we'd love to have you. Well, that would be very sweet of you, but I'm just thinking about all the lies that I've told. I mean, not just this evening. I've never met the North Korean ambassador. But I remember, I remember not so long ago, I was in my car and I did an illegal U-turn and a policeman pulled me over and said, oh, you can't do that.

He was going to give me a ticket. I said, oh, I'm sorry, I'm just a tourist here. I have a house! I have a house! What a dick! Did it work? It worked, yeah. I got away with it. High five, buddy. That's something that the young people do in England. That's a cool American sort of vibe. I don't think that's the first high young people do in England that's a cool American right of

I don't think that's the first high-five that had a scene no no I'm more of a like one of these like more gangster like this I think that subtle distinctions between hand gestures is perfect podcast stuff that's what I find to the viewer viewer, sorry, you're right. To the listener at home, we both just jerked each other off. Yeah, I just won't be with you. That was so funny, you knocked my hat off. Other great podcasting stuff. But it was riverboat style,

thumb down, which was interesting. An interesting choice. It's also great for the podcast. Very loose on the west side. I'll have a follow up about that later. No, I like it. Let's do more stuff about the chair.

The chair. It should become more and more ornate every week. Just getting more and more grandpa. I'll be at an Iron Throne by the end of this. I do think a lot about Game of Thrones when it comes to the current political machinations because I feel like the global warming is the White Walkers, right?

And here we are, we're all looking at the Game of Thrones on some Lannister, Democrat, Lannisters are the Republicans and the Democrats are the Starks. And meanwhile, fucking summer is coming. That is true. Miami, like,

they're sweeping water out of Miami bodegas. While saying a global warming is a science-based lie, you know, a lie to make money for these scientists. Yeah, these rich scientists lining their pocket with all this climate change dough, these polar bear pelts. I always ask climate change deniers when I talk to them, which is constantly the same thing. The North Korean embassy. Which is, what if you're wrong? If you're right, and this is a conspiracy, what's happening? Some coal jobs are going away, but some green jobs are coming,

and maybe a person's lining their pocket. If you're wrong, we're all dead. We will all die. Doesn't that seem like it should beg a little more introspection? They're not into introspection, though. You'd think. It's the Upton Sinclair line, which is,

it's impossible to convince somebody of something. Their livelihood depends on not believing. To get serious for a second. Yeah.

Oh, shit. Upton Sinclair. That guy. I love all his hits. I love all my favorite Upton. Look, I could go through so much great Upton

Sinclair stuff beyond that quote, but we are out of time. When we come back, we're going to play a new and one-time game called Mr. Brexit. And we're back. We are going to play a game called Mr. Brexit.

Moshe, Pam, under your seats, you have a car. It's not a car. But the steering wheel's on the wrong side. So here is how Mr. Brexit works. We have quotes. I have some quotes. Our panelists have some quotes. Some of them are about Trump.

Some of them are about Trump. Some of them are about Brexit. We will read those quotes, and it will be up to Stephen Merchant to decide whether we are talking about Brexit and the undoing of the EU in his country or the election of Trump in the good old US of A. Let's start with Moshe and quote number one. All right, Governor.

This will be a real victory. Racist. I get stuff like that in my inbox every day. All right? It's very upsetting. I never know what to expect. This will be a real victory for real people. A victory for ordinary people.

A victory for decent people. Oh, my God. that could be either, couldn't it? It really could be. Now you get it. Now you see the game. Because it's just vague platitudes, isn't it? It's just promising things to people. If you vote for me or this, you get some stuff for you, the people.

UKIP. UKIP. I was just counting down with UKIP. That's a really inside thing for the UKIP. Nice. That's for you No I appreciate it Poor blimey Yeah yeah yeah By the way

There's a huge following in London That just fell out of their chairs laughing That's for you baby I'm gonna go with Brexit on that one You are correct Wow That was Nigel Farage Nigel Farage

At the time leader of UKIP. Brexit. Now, Pam, with quote number two. Quote number two. The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. I mean, this is it. It may as well be the first one. It's the same thing, isn't it?

Can I just clear something up, by the way, with Brexit? One of the reasons we all voted out, we're all very proud of it, very excited, is because, I don't know if you're familiar, but England used to rule about a quarter of the globe. No, we had an empire. It was a tremendous empire. It was a major empire. It was an excellent empire.

Honestly, you think that Darth Vader's empire was good. This one was, I'm just putting it in American terms. It was... We were... India, we had Africa... Compared to a duck dynasty for me. But we were... In India, we were oppressing... We were taxing people's salt.

I mean, we were killing it. We were absolutely crushing it. And then we decided we don't want it anymore. We've had enough of this. So essentially, this is the continuation of that. We've sort of been slowly retiring and we've sort of stepped back. We're sort of like the David Letterman of Europe.

We're growing a beard and we're just kind of... We just want to be within terms of the rankings of European countries that have any influence in the world. We want to sort of drop below Estonia and Malta and Lapland, a land named after the groin. We want to be below there. So it's something we're all very, very happy about. Just so you're clear on that.

The world is doing this, though, right? It's like trying to slough off the tentacles of globalism, but the globe has become this small and the octopus is about to swallow us whole. So nothing good will come of this. Yeah. No, no, no. It's not very good. No one thinks it's good. I mean, except for the people that think it's good and they're the problem.

You've dodged long enough. Yes, I believe that was about Trump. It was not only about Trump. It was Donald Trump on the night of his victory. On the forgotten man. Quote number three, Moshe. What this vote is about is an indication that the global economy is not working for everybody.

Millions of people are saying, you know what? The global economy may be great for some people, but not for me. I mean, that's got Brexit written all over it. But again, it couldn't so easily be Trump. I see now the point of this quiz. It's brilliant. To be fair, Trump does not know what global economy means.

Just to add that into the mix. Yeah, it didn't have enough words repeated several times to be Trump. Major, major, major problem. I think it's going to be about Brexit. It was. It was Bernie Sanders on Brexit. But I could have put basically the exact same quote, and it's what he said about Trump. Now for our fourth and final quote.

Coldly snarling and vindictive about its flag waving predictably reverts to familiar Islamophobia. Was that about Brexit or was that about Donald Trump's campaign? That could be about Farage that you were just referencing, former

leader of UKIP. It could easily be about Trump. It could be about any number of people that were pro-Brexit. It could be about Boris Johnson, I guess, Foreign Secretary. I'm going to say that it's about Trump. It's not on the level. That is a quote from Variety's review

of London Has Fallen. And that is Mr. Brexit. Thank you to Stephen Merchant for playing. I'm going to say he won. I'm going to say he won the game. And there's a parachute rope with your name on it. This is the rant wheel. It's very simple.

There's a wheel. It spins. And we rant about it. Some of the topics this. It's very simple. There's a wheel. It spins, and we rant about it. Some of the topics this week. Sassy Trump. Then audience chooses. You'll shout something, and we'll just pick it out, right? Zuckerberg's tour.

O'Reilly's podcast. Another audience chooses or two. The deal of the art. That's a play on words. The rant wheel itself. Maybe it needs a new name. Maybe it's too much like Peter Griffin, grind my gears. Maybe we should make some adjustments in the show itself.

We'll figure that out up here. Let's roll the wheel. Spin the wheel. Roll the wheel. Have you guys seen Sassy Trump? Do you know what I'm talking about? You guys have seen it. Peter Peter Serafinowicz? Yes.

People seem to really like it. He does kind of a gay voice in the style of Trump, and it makes Trump seem even sillier. Have you guys seen it? Have you thought it was funny in the past? That wasn't a gay voice. That's just a British accent. I agree.

I agree. That joke really split the room. I fucking hate it. I hate when people do a gay voice to be silly. And you know, I'm generally sick of Trump impressions generally. Like, do any of us feel as though we're struggling to understand Trump and having him be more heightened is going to help us figure it out? Like, I see Trump has swallowed our culture whole.

He has swallowed it in its entirety. He is everywhere. We used to have other topics we all talked about. The Super Bowl, a new album. Ja Rule's got a fucking festival that turned into Lord of the Flies. We used to have things that we talked about as a culture together,

and now it's all Trump all the time. And so when I turn on my television or my Twitter box and I see like, oh, wow, this incredibly funny impression. You really nailed Trump to the wall. What are you doing exactly? Are you really nailing Trump? Are you sure? Are you sure that's what you're doing? Are you just doing Trump in a gay voice?

Because anything outside of a masculine, strong voice is not leader-y. See, that's interesting. Well, I actually thought it was more relevant before the election. masculine, strong voice is not leader-y. See, that's interesting. I actually thought it was more relevant before the election because there was something about the way he talks, has this kind of thing, and he's not saying anything, but you don't notice he's not saying anything until an absurd voice is put on it. I was very surprised that Peter kept going after the election.

I don't understand the point of it now. I thought the point of it was before it was like, look at what he's saying, because there was something about, it was the first time that I was actually listening, like noticing the words make no sense. I loved what you were saying, and I was getting really sort of lost in how brilliant you are, John. Sweet, happens a lot.

And then you called him Ja Rule, and I checked out. Ja Rule. Ja Rule? Yeah, Ja Rule. Did you get caught up in the Game of Thrones imagery? Ah, and then Ja Rule came from across the plains. The Dothraki warrior himself. Here's the thing.

Here's the thing that you will come across if you spend any time with me. I could tell you a lot about Zelda. I could tell you a lot about Game of Thrones. I do not know music or what's going on. I don't know music and I don't know wine. And my decision-making process is basically, I can devote my life to becoming mediocre at understanding

these things, or I can defer to others on both and just get a great music or get a great glass of wine. A great music. Yeah, yeah. I now realize I do know that it's Ja Rule. I know it's Flo Rida. These are the ones that will trick you up. Oh, you used to call them Florida?

I think... Honestly, when I first saw that, I really thought it was incredibly clever, and I was shocked it had waited... It took that long for someone to take Flo Rida. Honey, did you hear that the state of Florida is a rapper now? Roll the wheel. We're done with this.

It has landed on O'Reilly Podcast. This fucking guy. It has landed on O'Reilly Podcast. This fucking guy. First of all, he has called his podcast O'Reilly Free Podcast. Have you seen this? And it is at the top of the iTunes chart, although a new show by one DeRay McKesson

has knocked it down. Crooked Media's new show, Pod Save the People. You can subscribe right now to do a little plug. To be fair, it might have shot up in the charts because they thought it was an O'Reilly-free podcast. They're like, I hate that guy. That's the kind of podcast I want. This is opposite.

It's all O'Reilly. Wait, is there a DeRay podcast I could cleanse my palate with? This is larded up with all kinds of O'Reilly. But also, first, how little regard does Bill O'Reilly have for his sad, desperate, still loyal, pathetic fans

who are following him into the podcast world that he's like, I'm not going to do ads. Fuck these people. I want their $5 a month. He had made $25 million a year. He got an extra $25 for paying off too many women for being a dick.

And he still wants more. Wait, the O'Reilly free podcast charges $5? It's the first one. It's to get you hooked. It's to get you through the door. It's the drug outside the school. Thank you for putting in terms I understand. I know. That's where you get your drugs outside the school.

Thank you. I think it's just showing what a fool you are to do this for free. I know. I'm giving this away. Let's roll it one more time. Fire Fest. Fire Fest. The Fire Festival.

Put on by who? By Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y by who? By Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule.

Y'all Rule. Y'all Rule. I will say this about Y'all Rule's desperate Hunger Games-like confrontation with the Bahamas. His apology made it all worth it. Did you see his apology today? I heard about it. He said the following, I take full responsibility

and it is not my fault. Which is fucking perfect. Also, look, festivals go to shit. Not to be a Trump or Yarul content. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. Festivals go south. It happens. It's people listening to music in the desert. So I've heard I know there's something called Coachella. I've never been, obviously, unless they get podcasts next year. I'd go if they do podcasts. But, you know, they're not enough toilets. They don't have enough buses. The weather gets bad. A thing falls down and kills. Things go wrong at a festival. But usually because they're close. Right. Like, we got so close to having a great festival, then it all got fucked up.

These people showed up in the Bahamas, and there was nothing. There was loaves of bread and a container ship and some tents that they did not use during the Haiti relief effort. But let's be honest, there's something a little bit delicious about loads of young, really good-looking people with, like, $10,000 to spare having to eat cheese sandwiches in the Bahamas. I loved how many people managed to reference the fact that the small salad with the cheese sandwich had no dressing.

That's the indignity. It really is. There's nowhere to sleep. People stole my passport. It's a cheese sandwich. And there is no dressing. This is dry lettuce. By the way, the embassy got involved.

That's what's so amazing. The embassy had to step in and do humanitarian relief for these Instagram. It's day one. It's only been three hours of humanitarian relief. I want to know what they thought was going to happen when people arrived at this empty beach. The other thing that's awesome is there's a sandals resort like a hundred yards away.

Do you know how bad things have to be for Blink-182 to be like, I'm out. Can't do it. I actually went for New Year's once on a Bahamian island, Bahamian island. And the house, we'd rented a house and I'd left it to some friends to organize it. And we got there and it was disgusting. The house was, and there were other people, friends of ours,

who were in beautiful accommodation down the road. And I spent an entire day on the phone trying to get off the island. And it was impossible to do. It's actually very hard. And you're like, I'll go to London. I'll go to LA. I have houses. I'll go to any one of my houses. Get me to one of my many homes. These accommodations won't do.

You couldn't get off the island? Couldn't get off the island. There were polar bears there too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fact, it's just a metaphor for death. Is this another one of these American shows you're talking about? There was this little show

that I helped create called Lost. I did not... No, I didn't. I wasn't sure, guys. I wasn't either. I thought maybe I fucked up

and he made Lost. I looked at you a little differently. I was like, maybe he was in the room. I know there's someone named Lindelof, but other than that,

I don't remember. I think JJ was involved. JJ was involved, probably. JJ, he did that. he was in the room. I know there's someone named Lindelof, but other than that, I don't remember. I think JJ was involved. JJ was involved, probably. JJ, he did that. That was before the movies. I knew it wasn't that funny, but I was like, oh, Chuckle would have... Oh, no, they believed me.

That's how well you come across. People thought, there's a guy that could have created Lost. He wears a young outfit well. Yeah. Who knows how old he is under there. Just so we're clear, though, I'm not joking about the two houses. And that is our show.

I want to thank our guests, Stephen Merchant, Moshe Kosher, Pam Brady. Thank you guys so much for coming. That's Love It or Leave It. Jesse, let's hear the song. There it is. Thank you guys for coming Thank you.