Lovett or Leave It - Gay Guy Podcasting School feat. Jared Goldstein

Episode Date: June 8, 2024

Jared Goldstein tastes the rainbow this Pride as our very special Lovett Or Leave It guest host! BenDeLaCreme reads the world for filth, Hacks' Mark Indelicato auditions for the role of a lifetime, and the kaleidoscopic Rant Wheel lands on gay slang, straight guys who paint their nails, and, of course, JoJo Siwa.Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Hey, it's Lovett. Quick reminder. If you want to help fix democracy but don't know where to start, Vote Save America has got you covered. Just join Vote Save America's 2024 volunteer program and maximize your impact on the ground with opportunities catered to you and the causes you care about. They'll sort you onto a team, East or West, and you'll compete with like-minded volunteers to potentially win the best prize of all, the continuation of American democracy. It's the Atlantic versus the Pacific. It's In-N-Out versus Shake Shack. It's the battle of the coasts. Between now and Election Day, they'll be tracking each team's stats and only one team will win. So go to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 to get signed up now. Please welcome to the stage, your guest host for the evening, Kyrgolfz! I'm running for office, hi everybody.

What's up, welcome! Okay, you guys are bombing right now. Get it together, we gotta do a live show, baby. Are you guys excited to watch me prove that I can, in fact, read? And I can, and I will. Welcome to Love It or Leave It. This week, we're leaving it

because I'm your guest host, Jared Goldstein. And I gotta say, after being a guest so many times, but not enough times, more times please. Finally sitting in Levitt's seat feels terrible. It's like his ass is weird and has left very bad vibes under my ass. But I will forge ahead. Tonight, Mark and Delicato is here to whip me into twink top shape. Ben De La Creme is here to regular whip me. And then we all come together for a double stuffed rat wheel. But first, let's get into it.

What a week. 93 year old media magnet Rupert Murdoch got married for the fifth time on Saturday. Big age gaps in relationships usually give me pause, but all the same, here's wishing the best of luck to Mr. Murdoch and his 146 year old bride. You know what they say, love is love is love is love is love is love. This guy had quite the succession of beautiful brides. Murdoch wed retired molecular biologist Elena Zhukova, the ex-wife of Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich. Reading much? Yeah! Yeah! Also, by the way, okay, since I am a coward who is afraid of getting doxed by the Marjorie Taylor Greenhive,

I've brought my cut-it paddle, and whenever I hold this up, it's not going on the pod. We have an arrangement. It's not going on the pod. Watch this. My home address is... Drive. Interesting fact, her biology studies mainly focused on the effects of sugar daddy on older women. Despite dropping out in March, Nikki Haley's zombie campaign staggered on taking 8.6% of Republican votes in this week's New Mexico primary.

Ronda Santis has a zombie campaign. It's just a weekly email blast calling for gay people to be devoured by zombies. They're funny they wrote that. I didn't write any of this. A federal judge has ordered Steve Bannon to surrender to prison by July 1st to begin his four month sentence for defying subpoenas from the House January 6th Committee. The prison where Bannon will serve his sentence has begun preparing for his arrival, ordering several tubs of live mice to make sure he eats. For his part, to prepare for his sentence, Bannon has been subsisting entirely on toilet wine since 2004. You laugh but it's hard to find natural orange toilet wine. Here's my girl. Marjorie Taylor Greene this week called

on House Speaker Mike Johnson to shut down the federal government until New York overturns Trump's felony conviction. She also said this in an interview with prisoner-to-be Steve Bannon. I think the American people have turned a corner after they watched that conviction come down in New York to the point where it's like, you know what? Screw New York! Sounds like your aunt getting kicked out of a Broadway show for trying to touch Beetlejuice. And the crazy thing is she was seeing The Lion King.

Marjorie Taylor Greene has been on fire lately. She also made this great point this week. Republicans continually have their head up their ass. And can we get that one more time? Republicans continually have their head up their ass. Proving that a broken clock really is right twice a day. I actually I'm gonna show my tits. All week, conservatives have been openly calling for Republicans to attack any Democrats they can in whatever capacity they can, regardless of whether they have a connection to Trump's conviction. Lashing out blindly and indiscriminately because your favorite divas taking an L?

Republicans? Happy Pride! In a text exchange with the New York Times, Steve Bannon said it was time for Republican prosecutors across the nation to make a name for themselves by prosecuting Democrats. The New York Times started to write something back, but then the three dots went away. Bannon is reportedly scared, panicking, showing it to all his friends. Is this weird? (*laughter*)

Meanwhile, the New York City Police Department is getting ready to revoke Trump's gun license now that he's a convicted felon. I am so glad I didn't know Trump had a gun license until it was almost over. (*laughter*) This feels like getting off a plane and then finding out it was a Boeing 737 MAX. Meanwhile, three Trump operatives

have been charged with forgery in Wisconsin for their roles in putting together fake elector certificates and delivering them to Congress in 2020. I know they were in the wrong, but it's hard for me to celebrate this one. Let men get one. Let men get creative. Let them do their little crafts. I'm ambivalent. I want to cry. I want

to cry. I want to go home. We have 90 more minutes of this. I have so much shit to read. That's the best word I've ever heard. Thank you so much! Thanks, my mom. Give it up for my mom. I feel like I'm in one of those spelling bee TikToks. It's big words. Okay. I'm ambivalent about this news.

It's good that they're facing consequences, but I'm honestly a bit worried about what this means for my fake elector certificate store on Etsy. The three men charged include Kenneth Chesebro, the architect of Trump's fake elector scheme. The other two men charged were Brody Baconbro and Steve Eggcellent. They thought I wasn't gonna say that one. I'm not scared. I'll say it. On Wednesday, the Wall Street Journal published a report titled,

Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping. Why is that such a horny title? I'm like, Biden slipping into what? In the report, sources on both sides of the aisle expressed concern over the president's well-being due to his age. In this piece, Republicans, including House Speaker Mike Johnson and former Speaker Kevin McCarthy, called into question Biden's mental acuity.

Yikes. Okay, two of our most impartial, reliable sources. Said McCarthy of Biden, I used to meet with him when he was vice president. I'd go to his house. He's not the same person. Well, of course not. That was like 15 years ago. He's like a thousand times hotter now.

At a meeting about Ukraine in January, Biden allegedly spoke so softly he was almost inaudible to the attendees in addition to reading notes, taking long pauses, and at several points closing his eyes. The same report suggested that additionally, Biden's knees were weak, arms were heavy, and that there was even presidential vomit on his sweater, mom's spagotus. However, Senator Patty Murray said on X, we really lost the battle on that one, they just wrote X. Boo! Turn on the producers. Boo! Senator Patty Murray said on X that she was interviewed by the Journal and affirmed Biden's behavior seemed normal during the January meeting but was not quoted in the final report. Wow, Wall Street Journal just ignoring facts

that don't fit into your chosen narrative. Who are you, me drinking a third Celsius after the first two sent me to the hospital? I love the news. I feel like Walter Cronkite. This feels exactly right. This is breaking news, and I'm telling all of you. The White House publicly rebuked the report, saying in a statement, House Republicans

are making false claims as a political tactic that flatly contradict previous statements made by themselves and their colleagues. Would the White House's statement have been stronger if it hadn't then launched into a long rambling summary of a 1971 episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show? Yeah, probably. Seven G.O.P. senators also flatly contradicted the story in interviews with Politico.

I'm holding for laughter. It's called professionalism. Also came up with GAP. Stole it from Clueless, like, come on. But still, with West Virginia Republican Shelley Moore Capito saying, In the two meetings I was in with the president, he was as sharp as a tack. There's only one thing that can transcend party lines, and that's the readiness of old people in power

to insist that old people are fine to stay in power. Meanwhile, the ACLU vowed to sue after Biden unveiled his new restrictive border policy this week. Said the lawyer who fought Trump's similar order in 2018, a ban on asylum is illegal just as it was when Trump unsuccessfully tried it. Yeah Joe there's no free pass just because you're a sex symbol. Trump later posted a video to truth social attacking Biden not for the bill but for the number of migrants

arriving at the border. You know it's bad when Trump is giving you notes on how you're doing racism wrong. Said Trump, Now after nearly four years of his failed, weak leadership, crooked Joe Biden is pretending to finally do something about the border. But in fact, it's all about Joe because he knows we have a debate coming up in three weeks I get why Trump's mad one time someone copied one of my tweets An FDA advisory committee on Tuesday recommended against approving MDMA for treating post-traumatic stress disorder Saying there wasn't enough evidence that it's effective and that the benefits don't outweigh the risks.

To which I say, keep trying. It'll hit. Take more, right? Nothing bad has ever happened. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will address Congress in the coming weeks at the invitation of the top four congressional leaders. Fun! I'm sure we'll all feel silly once he explains everything. Meanwhile, President Biden was asked in a Time magazine interview whether he believed Netanyahu was prolonging the war in Gaza for his own political gain and replied, I'm not

going to comment on that. There is every reason for people to draw that conclusion. Which I get. It's kind of like when people ask me if I think Lovett will get kicked off Survivor first. I'm not gonna comment on that. There is every reason for people to draw that conclusion. Just kidding, Lovett's gonna last the whole time and come back full

yellow jackets. Just a traumatized cannibal lesbian. Always looking out the window in the crooked offices. John? The Colorado Republican Party this week sent out a mass email titled God Hates Pride, which referenced godless groomers. Godless groomers is where I take my dog for all her baths. She's an Irish secular. The Colorado GOP also tweeted, burn all the Pride flags this June. Nice try Colorado, but the only thing gayer than a Pride flag is a flaming Pride flag. In entertainment news, Tom Hardy appeared in the new Venom, the last dance trailer, which to me and my family is porn, and crazy coincidence, this is what I sound like when I cum!

That's why you book an actor, babe. Yeah. And in a perfect transition, Lady Gaga on TV, on TV, on TV, on TV, That's why you book an actor, babe. Yeah. And in a perfect transition, Lady Gaga on Tuesday denied rumors that she's pregnant in a TikTok video with the onscreen caption, not pregnant, just down bad, crying at the gym. As someone who's been not pregnant

and crying at the gym my entire life, representation matters. Pause up baby. Taylor Swift left a comment on the video writing, can we all agree that it's invasive and irresponsible to comment on a woman's body? Gaga doesn't owe anyone an explanation and neither does any woman said Gaga stay out of this you fat bitch favorite joke of the night so funny so good Dolly Parton announced this week that she's writing new music for hello I'm Dolly a musical based on her life, which she is hoping will hit Broadway in 2026. Hello, I'm Dolly is better than the original title. Eyes up here. George Clooney called the White House to defend his wife,

lawyer Amal Clooney, from Biden's criticism of the International Criminal Court after she advised it to issue arrest warrants for Israeli officials. That's how you get George Clooney to call? Hey, Amal, stay out of this, you fat bitch! Laughter Cheers

New trial findings have shown that a male birth control gel seems to safely and effectively reduce sperm production when applied to the shoulders daily, but this only works on a select few who have their balls attached to their shoulders. Boeing successfully launched its first manned space shuttle this week. Oh, because planes were going so well for you? Boeing, babe, let's revisit our priorities. How about a plane door that doesn't fly off? But I do understand pivoting when you're bad at something. I didn't get in to stand up because I was so good at acting. Oh, they feel bad, they're on my side.

You support my acting career, I love you. Yes, thank you so much. In other out of this world news, the SpaceX Starship made its first successful test flight without exploding this week, after aerospace engineers rub male birth control gel on its shoulders. Interesting fact, the shoulders on a rocket not where you think

they are. The FDA announced it has reversed its ban on jewelry cigarettes while reviewing new information from its manufacturer. This is like Obergefell v Hodges for the TikTok generation. Congratulations kids, love wins. Okay, clap if you didn't know what a Burgerfell v Hodges was. Oh my God, a lot of you! Okay, shame on us.

That's bad, okay cool. Happy Pride, right? Yeah, every May. Yeah. Every May. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Special K has put out a limited edition cereal box featuring cookbook author Molly Baz

at 39 Weeks Pregnant, whom the company says is the first ever pregnant woman to appear on a cereal box. Sounds like Molly went with Special K instead of Plan B. box. Sounds like Molly went with special K instead of plan B. The limited edition cereal will be called special K oops all placenta. Sorry not impressed. Wake me up when there's a cinnamon toast crunch box featuring a woman taking an abortion pill. She's not ready to be a mother, she eats cinnamon toast crunch. And finally, dermatologists have reported the first US case of a rare form of ringworm fungus that can spread sexually which has mostly been found among gay men in Europe. Sounds

like give me that worm has a whole new meaning. And now a little segment we're calling America's least wanted. Okay this is not a little segment. This is very long. It has a lot of reading and it is extremely news and word heavy. So we're all gonna pray for me. Okay. But actually what's really fun about this show

is it proves that if you buy me a grain bowl and give me a ride to dynasty typewriter, I will learn what happened this week. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. Okay, here we go. This week, we're once again headed to Montana, a state blessed with natural beauty and cursed with truly batshit Republican lawmakers.

Our GOP diva girlina of the week, it's Representative Ryan Zinke. Yee-haw! Republican lawmakers. Our GOP diva girlina of the week, it's Representative Ryan Zinke. Yee-haw! If his name rings a bell, that's because you may remember Zinke as the Trump administration's Secretary of the Interior. He was appointed in 2017

on Donald Trump Jr.'s recommendation, which makes sense because Ryan Zinke is the kind of guy who only seems responsible and trustworthy if you've been doing massive amounts of cocaine. Zinke ran the Interior Department his own way. Was it a good way? No, obviously not. But it was his own way. One of his first orders of business was trying to eliminate 4,000 jobs from the department

and reassigning staff who had been outspoken about the dangers of climate change. Okay, this is so bitchy, I actually have no choice but to support. He basically said, if you're gonna talk about my best friend climate change like that, then you can fucking leave. In 2017, Zinke wanted to lift the import ban on big-game trophy hunting, meaning that American hunters would be allowed to bring back animals like elephants they killed in Zambia and Zimbabwe. Look, I know on the left we're prone to calling Republican politicians Disney villains, but very rarely do we actually have one actively advocating for the right to kill Dumbo's mom. He, oh big Dumbo's mom fans, too soon. Was it 1970 whatever? The bitch is dead.

She's dead and gone. Okay, laugh. Dumbo's mom is a bitch. He also embarked on a multi-year DUMBO'S MOM IS A BITCH. He also embarked on a multi-year project to decrease the official designated size of America's national monuments so he could sell the surrounding land to oil, gas, and coal companies. Shrinking national monuments so you can sell the land for profit? Why does everything Republicans do turn into some hillbilly Dr. Evil plot? Like a number of his colleagues in the Trump administration, Zinke was the target of multiple

ethics investigations that eventually led to his resignation. Turns out he spent tens of thousands of dollars in taxpayer money chartering private jets and helicopters, made shady backdoor deals involving public lands, and repeatedly lied to federal investigators. That is so freaking annoying because I was literally planning on doing all of that and now it's been done, I guess. It all goes without saying that his voting record on abortion is Samuel Alito level bad. Zinke has reportedly voted for nationwide abortion restrictions after years of saying

that abortions should be left up to the states. The only thing that should be left up to the states is whether or not Raytheon gets a float at your local pride parade. And that's it, people. I did have to Google what Raytheon was. Also, and this is a tiny bit cunt, but Zinke is married to a woman named Lolita Hand. No disrespect, but Lolita Hand does not sound like a real woman. It sounds like a chat room username FBI agents use to entrap libertarian sex offenders. Montana, you deserve better!

So if you want to learn how to fight Ryan Zinke and conservative villains just like him, then head on over to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 to find out more. This has been America's Least Wanted. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Up next, Benda LeCreme drags us through the mud. Woo! Woo! Woo! Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Please welcome to the stage the cream of the crop, Bandela Creme!

Bandela Creme! Hi, girlie. Hi. Do I sit right here? Sit wherever the fuck you want. Great. Oh my God. You look amazing on that. I know, right? Thank you. How's your pride going? You look amazing on that. Thank you so much.

You're really killing it. Look at all that denim and velvet. Right? Come on. Love it. How's your pride going? My what? Pride, it's a month.

Oh. And it comes before or after June? Before June. Before June. Before June. Before June. Before June. Before June. Love it. How's your pride going? My what? Pride, it's a month. Oh. And it comes before or after June? It's happening right this very second.

Oh, wow. Every second we sit here and speak, it's pride. Well, great. Yeah, no, I mean, I like being gay. It's fun. And other people seem to like that I'm gay as well. So. Right? I think a lot of people.

So great. I like how gay you are. Stop. Yeah. No, no, I'm straight. I'm straight. This is the cut it paddle, so if at any point you wanna cut something,

I'll leave it right here for both of us. All right, great, but we're not supposed to apply this in any sort of gay context. I don't know, is that too blue? Am I working too blue? I literally just thought of that. What if this was all a ruse so I could do that? Just some big work around. Okay, if you're listening to this in your headphones,

I held the cut it paddle up to my dick and balls. And also I'm very beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I got into full drag for something that is audio. Oh no. Oh my God. I'm also wearing perfume. That's incredible.

Depends on how you look at it. You sound gorgeous and you sound like a woman. Thank you. Thank you so much. I don't know what that means. I don't know what a woman sounds like. Yeah, this is Rogan or Leave It. Wow. It's gonna get edgy, babe. All right.

You're gonna wanna hit 30, 30, 30, 30 on your Apple podcast app. Okay, every year here on the show, we review Pride merch. So I want to get your thoughts on some of these incredible items from Target. Let's roll it. Okay, so here, do you want to describe to the people what we're looking at? Yes, absolutely. Okay, we've, oh, and it's right in front of me too. So what we have here is a gorgeous pride charcuterie board. It could really be a cutting board, too, or a paddle for a late night at Steamworks. Yeah. And it is done in festive pride

vertical stripes like a pride flag. But that's my that's my flag. They're all in browns, which is either bears or scat. Which are maybe related. I'm learning so much from you. I don't know. Have you seen the Charmin ads with the bears and the scat? Oh wait, have you heard the Charmin ads?

The gay pride Charmin ads? No, is that the thing? I heard one in a car on the way here. There's a gay pride Charmin ad? Yes! Whoa, can we pull that up somehow? It is incredible. I don't know, just listen to it.

You're already listening to something. Just take a minute, just kind of imagine what it is. And enjoy that. I was so blindsided that I can't remember it, but it is actually, it is just like Charmin celebrates your differences, whether your bottoms or tops or blah, blah, blah. actually, it is just like Charmin celebrates your differences, whether your bottoms or tops or blah, blah, blah. No, it's not.

They say bottoms. Charmin says bottoms. It's over, we used to be cool. Anyway, it's a charcuterie board. Yeah. Is what we're talking about. Yeah. I mean, look, it is literally giving charcuterie, so.

It is giving charcuterie. You can't say it's false. OK, next one. OK, I'll explain. That is a t-shirt that says, I am valid. It looks like it says, I am Val-D. That's what I thought. I was so embarrassed that I didn't

know the big, gay diva Val-D. I am cat Valdez. And it's all mushrooms and crystals. Exactly, which I don't know about you, but the last time I took mushrooms, I was not valid. I was invalid. I was out. And the same is true of crystal.

Yeah, it just sucks. I don't do it, I'm I don't do it. I'm saying don't do drugs. Yeah, no, it's a, I don't know, it's a well-designed t-shirt. So it's gay. I don't know. You know, when you're gay and you're a comedian, Tell me about what happens when you're gay.

Yeah. They try and see if you can be like one of those like, like fashion TV correspondents. They're like, we have to try. You simply have to try and then they'll show you something like this. And they'll say like, say something about it. And I tried it once and I was like, it was like someone was wearing like a like a dress that like honestly just looks fine. And I thought of like one little pun for it. And then they were like, okay, say something else. And I just blinked at them. And I was like, I don't have anything

that I'll have to say that were not all fashion police judges. And I have nothing to say about this. Next slide. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I don't, it's like a Studio Jiggly character. Oh. Jiggly. That's a bird and an older drag queen. It literally looks like Jiggly Coll. That's a that's a bird and and and an older drag queen. It literally looks like Jiggly Caliente. Yes, Studio Jiggly Caliente. Because they wrote on the cards that it looks like Tippi Hedren from the birds.

Oh, it is. It is. OK, but I like it better when it's. I mean, it's got it. It's got a very distinct divine eyebrow. And then it even has on its shoulder, if you can see, an even smaller bird that is going to kill it or be its friend. I didn't see the movie. She's in a phone booth for most of it.

Is she really? Yeah, getting pelted by birds. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like going down the the freeway here in Los Angeles. Yeah, no, I don't know. I really enjoy this. I would celebrate Pride with this bird. Is this visual game fun for the listeners? Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Get him! Cheers. Cheers to you. Happy Bride. Yeah. And that's been whatever that was. Oh that's it? Okay, now this is a question that I ask every single gay person

I've ever met in my life. As a drag queen, how are you feeling about the news lately? Is there any advice you'd like to give young queer people? Oh wow, this is a great prompt for comedy. I, uh, the news is deeply upsetting.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Be more specific. Well, you know, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm literally I'm like, stop, stop, stop. Whatever you do, don't do it. Colorado. I, yeah, no, it's I don't know.

The world is deeply upsetting. Yes. And obviously drag is like sort of one of the things that people are attacking, which is very high profile and easy to attack because look at us. We're gorgeous. But that is really just a thing, cute. That is really just, I mean, that's just like the easiest thing to hook onto. But it's so important to realize that it's not just about-

I'm gonna hook onto it later. This is not just about silencing an art form. This is about much more serious issues. So what I wanna say to young people is This is not just about silencing an art form. This is about much more serious issues. So what I want to say to young people is do what your predecessors did, get involved politically, fight against what's going on right now. That's what Pride is about in case nobody ever told you. And make sure to be out there speaking up about what's happening, be politically active.

It's an election year. I don't know if any of you have heard about this, but yes, that's what I say to young people. And also, queer people are like very good at coming out on top with this stuff. So there's a history. We're like, we're able to do this. Proof is in the pudding. You just got to do it a second time.

High five. Yes. Hilarious. And just for good measure, let's see the tippy-hedred burn again. I really love her. I just, I do, is there, do I get to go home with one? Is there like a gift bag on this show? You know, actually, executive producer Kendra tried to purchase one recently and they're sold out.

Of course they are. They're all gone. Does anyone here have one? Does anyone listening have one? Please send, send it to Dynasty Typewriter. If so there is a PO box at bendlecrem.com and feel free to send it. Okay when did you know you needed to get a P.O. box? Oh, it's very cool, right? Is it cool to have a P.O. box? It feels sort of old fashioned. At some point you were just too famous to just be giving out your address, right? It's true, but do young people exchange physical objects? Do they send them through, right? Okay, someone's on mushrooms right now.

I don't know, I mean I- You are valid. I thought only the elderly actually exchanged packages and well, okay. In any case, yeah, no, I actually did, when I was living back in Seattle, I did in fact get doxxed as they say. You did.

I did. Oh my God. I did it to myself. Wait, did you really? I posted, it was literally, hey everybody, get out the vote. Here's my envelope with my address on it. I voted today.

Come on over. I bet Republicans had a field day with that. So like, look at this dumb drag queen. Republicans were actually much more indifferent than one would have imagined. Oh, all right. Yeah, apparently not a lot of them follow me on Instagram. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Don't know why. Amazing. Well, speaking of, while conservatives might try to cut queer people out from any number of avenues in life, there is one job drag queens are allowed, nay, called to do, telling it like it is. Ben? Yes, Hanny?

Ha ha ha ha. To those at home, I'm snapping in a zigzag. Ha ha. She's doing that with her butt, if you're listening. Yes. That noise is coming out of her butt. Yes. It's amazing. Secret talent. that with her butt if you're listening. That noise is coming out of her butt. Amazing.

Secret talent. Okay, we've got a variety of people, places and things from this week that desperately need the frank yet hilarious advice of a drag queen because clearly no one in their life is being honest with them. So I will read each one and we will give them advice. And then if I have anything additive, which I won't, I can sprinkle that in, which I won't. In a segment we're calling Read Em' and Weep. And don't fuck it up. Are you ready?

No, I'm not at all ready. You specifically, are you ready? I love that song, right? God, that's a good song. Okay. This week, poppy, a prebiotic healthy soda that has seemingly appeared in every gay person's fridge overnight, is being sued for allegedly being sugared water with no real health benefits. According to a new class action lawsuit, consumers would have to drink at least four poppies a day to experience the amount of prebiotic fiber necessary to be considered gut healthy. Any advice you'd like to offer Poppy Dayla?

That I would like to offer to the company itself? Yeah. I just like go into a different business, do something else. It's not a good model. Pretending that soda is good for you is something that people have been trying for many decades and it has not worked out in their favor. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, are they specifically marketing to the homosexuals who wanna clean out their, for the...

Oh! Is that what this is about? I don't think it isn't, but it is now. Because, I'd say, market a liquid for the other end. It's more efficient and it'll just get you where you wanna go a little bit earlier. Pour it into a plastic bag, tie a knot in it, and you do the rest.

Yeah, have you? I've never done an enema in my life. Has there ever been a carbonated enema marketed? It seems like it would be more effective, I don't know. It's like when you use seltzer water instead of water for an Americano, it's the way Italians do it, down there. Also, here's a little advice. I think Poppy Soda is a great drag name.

That's true. Yeah. That's true. Is that- I only speak the truth. Have you, do you have a drag name already? I do. One of them is Beverly Center. Yes. So what's the next card say?

This week, the Colorado Republican Party sent out an official email commemorating the beginning of Pride. The message read in part, the month of June has arrived and once again, the godless groomers in our society want to attack what is decent, holy, and righteous so they can ultimately harm our children. What do you gotta say about that? I really want nothing to do with children in general. Nothing!

And I can't imagine Coloradan children would be at the top of the heap. I mean, it's like the narcissism to think that, like every morning we wake up and we're thinking about the children in Colorado. Like, that would be the first time I thought about someone other than myself. I barely know my cousin's kids' names, okay? I don't know these Colorado kids. I'm not thinking about them.

They're fine. Okay, you guys kind of seem like you're obsessed with Colorado kids. I'm just gonna say that once. They're them. They're fine. Okay. You guys kind of seem like you're obsessed with Colorado kids. I'm just going to say that once. They also posted to their official ex account, burn all the hashtag pride flags this June, which is literally just dangerous.

Like, start fires. Why is this graphic in 8-bit? What am I... This is like that little villain that walks around in Super Mario 1 in the castle. Yeah. If you zoom out, it's a Charmander. Aww. Well, it's straight to the point. I don't know. Their messaging is clear, I guess.

It's like literally coming from the Colorado Republican Party. It's like, great. It's like you're a governing body. Like fill the potholes for pride. Like whatever. Yeah. Do anything. Help one person. Yeah. And don't give us imagery that just allows us to celebrate flaming. It's like, you know, It's too easy a transition. Okay, and moving on. Okay, John Lovett, ever heard of her? Appears in the teaser trailer for Survivor Season 47, in which he says this.

I have no outdoor skills. What am I doing here? I went camping as a cub scout. I threw up and went home. He looks hot. I said it. He does. We also believe this is him running at the end of the video covered in mud based solely on his gait and hand placement. and hand placement. Wait, actually, that's from the Wicked trailer. Oh my God, amazing. Yeah, cover him in mud.

That's a fag. There's a lot of mud and fire in this trailer. There is. I've never seen Survivor before. Ever? You didn't watch the first two seasons? I've never seen a single episode of Survivor. Oh my... Well, that's because you're 14. Yeah, that's why.

Yeah. Um, yeah, no, I... The only thing I have to base it on is my own reality television experience, which I assume it's very similar to. I mean, it must be. Yeah. Okay. What honest advice would you give this clearly unwell man on Survivor season 47?

I forgot what we were talking about. Again, never having seen Survivor, I'll just go based on my own experience. If you didn't pack enough hairspray, don't worry about it. The brands might not be what you want, but they will provide it for you. Be careful in the workroom to only start fights in the loudest voice possible and make sure that your opponent is never heard or mic'd while speaking. And yeah, I don't know, Sissy that Walk, oh. Hey, yeah. I actually have a theory that this is just like

all a scheme for John to get free plugs. Hair plugs. You know, and that is what happens to a lot of the girls who go on Drag Race too. I mean, whenever a man in your life like goes to like some far away place and like can't come back for six weeks you're like the bitch is getting plugs. Well I can't wait to see that hairline. Okay and finally Bendela. Yes. Tell me what do you honestly think about me Jared Goldstein. Oh, Jared Goldstein, I think that you are so sweet and kind,

and I've really enjoyed my time up here with you. I feel lost in your eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, like swimming in a pool of the beautiful mud. And it's much like the survivor trailer. The mud, the fire, it's all in there. And you know what? I want to watch the whole season. Oh my God.

Give it up for me. Yeah. Her words. Thank you. Get off the stage. Okay, goodbye. Ben and the Cram! Ben O'Rourke! All right, please welcome to the stage that most indelicative Mark's, Mark Indelicato! Let's fucking go, Annie!

Hello? Hi, Mark! I've never said yas in my life. Don't be for real. Well, you just said it now. Hi. What's up? How's your pride? Honestly, same.

Day one of pride, I totaled my car. Would you like to tell the story of the totaling of the car? I would love to. It was my fault. The end. It was a straight man's fault. Yes, in some way. In some way. During Pride? Yeah. And my car, it was nothing. It was like a fender bender. It was stopping go traffic.

And I was literally looking at my nails. I was looking at my nails. I didn't realize. Wait, you totaled your car in a fender bender? What kind of car are you driving? Oh, I'm driving a... I was driving a very tiny little Mazda 2. Um, a 2011. Yeah, not too shabby. The year I was born.

Nice. Wait, do you have a Mazda 2? No. You're just being supportive? Okay, thank you. Get her out. She's making fun of me. Yeah, my car is like totaled. And then the other car is obviously perfectly fine,

because it was a school bus. G-Wagon. It was literally a school bus. There were no kids in it. There were no kids in it. But yeah, they're fine. I'm destroyed, and now I have to get a new car. There were no kids in it. There were no kids in it. But yeah, they're fine. I'm destroyed and now I have to get a new car. Great, happy Pride.

Thank you so much. Yeah, the whole, the bumper ripped off and now the front door is like won't fully open. But isn't that a metaphor for what Pride does to the gays? Yes. You know what I mean? Like a fender bender that turns into be completely totaled. I mean, honestly, the Republicans would say like,

yeah, you like rear-ended a school bus, you pedophiles. Right, right. Okay, Mark, I am so glad you could do the show because I need to confront you about something. Oh shit. Did you think you were gonna get confronted here tonight? No, I knew I was gonna get confronted here tonight. Okay, have you guys seen Mark on Hacks?

Woo! Woo! Does an incredible job playing Damien, which was a role that I auditioned for. So my question is, why you not me? Well, I think that legacy has a lot to do with it. I was a child actor, bitch. What have we seen you in?

Wow. I was on Broadway, but no one cares because Broadway isn't the TV. Television. Yeah, television. No. I don't know, Jared, and to be completely honest with you, I had a very big upset actually the other day.

What? I didn't get cast in something that I actually really wanted. Is it the Aldi commercial that I'm in? Please, please God, please say it's the Aldi commercial that I'm in. I didn't want you to mention that part. I saw you sweating at that audition, you fucking loser. You sicko. Yeah, I watched you through the door.

I was like, this guy's not gonna get it. I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna get that Aldi commercial. That Aldi commercial. It was a Stanley Steamer commercial. Wait, really? No, girl. Oh my God.

I'm humiliated. The room is spinning. Mark and Delicato is bullying me. Mark and Delicato is bullying me. Yeah, but the fact that you believed it just shows my abilities, you know what I mean? That's some good acting right there. That's some good acting.

And you know what? I need to grow up, and I need to move on, OK? We're friends. I don't know what. The on, okay? We're friends, I don't know what, the problem is here. We're friends. I don't fucking know her. Yes we are. Okay, I got that out of my system.

Now, we know this one over here famously played Justin on Ugly Betty. To which I have to say, why you not me? Again, ability, ability. You know what's really cool? You... You're not brown enough, by the way. Wait, do you know I actually... Okay, I auditioned to be Jennifer Lopez's son in Maiden. So did I, actually for real.

I got one callback. What did you... I tested for it. Bitch! He's always tested. I'm getting tested right now. You tested for it. And what happened? Well, I didn't fucking get it, obviously.

Oh my God. Wait, where are you from? Philadelphia. Wow. You were driving up from Philly? Yeah, well, my mom was. Yeah. I wasn't driving at seven. That's incredible.

I'm from Long Island, so I was 40 minutes outside of the city. And I remember thinking everyone from Pennsylvania was like a freak. I mean, you wouldn't necessarily be wrong. It's like a two hour drive, right? I don't live there currently, so. Yeah, you got out of there. I had every opportunity to go back. Was it a two hour drive for every single audition?

Yeah. Yeah. So there and back that means four hours in the car. That's right. But this bitch was actually booking so it was worth it. That's right. Keep it up. This narrative is making me die to be honest. Your narrative is actually about me.

That's right. Crazy. OK, wait, this is like a little Marc and Delicato fun fact. After Ugly Betty, you temporarily left the industry to study international relations and gender studies at NYU. Yes. And I was famously rejected from NYU, which leads me to ask, NYU not me! And to that...

Wait, we're getting word? I've been recast as that guy in Hacks instead of him? Oh my God, word! That fucking chance! Damn. But what I will say again, Jared, every answer to this why you not me, it's just, it's ability, ability.

I feel like we should switch and I should be laying on this couch. And you should be kind of holding the cards. Would you like to? How does that make you feel? Sure. At this point, I think we are gonna move on and I don't know that it will like

kind of thematically make sense for me to be laying down. Don't knock over my beer butt. Oh, shit. Shit. Oh, actually, wait. No, this still can be therapy. Let's go. This feels better, to be honest with you.

Oh my god. Is anybody rock hard right now? Stop. So you know the language around like gay people like changes and evolves and gets better but also kind of worse? Yes. So now they're like they don't say that we're sassy anymore so right now like at La Trulia I've gotten four auditions in a row where it's where the new thing is tells it like it is a truth teller. Has a really bad attitude but a heart of

gold. Every time. I mean, this whole- I'm like, so he's an asshole. Yeah, yes. And I, this whole, like, the true teller thing, I have never met an honest gay man in my life. We're lying every single fucking day. We lie from the start. And I like it like that. I'm straight.

No, you're not. Were you not closeted? Oh my God, were you not closeted? I like never actually was really closeted. That is so fucking cool. Give it up for Mark. Yeah. I mean, I was on like, you know,

it was like a very gay show. So, you know. Is Michael Urie the coolest person ever? Michael Urie is one of the most talented actors. It's so crazy. For real, for real. Like went to Juilliard about it though. Like he's like, it's like-

He went to Juilliard? Yes. Okay, that's where they teach you to do it. Watching him do Shakespeare is like, one of, I mean, it's a master, he's one of the best actors of all time. This is me watching Shakespeare. Sis, now I didn't say that I knew what was going on.

I'm like, speak English. I said that I was watching someone read, like, basically it might as well be Mandarin to me. It's really crazy. And I think that, you know, Michael Urie can speak Mandarin and I think that we should celebrate that. He is to me. It's really crazy. And I think that Michael Urie can speak Mandarin and I think that we should celebrate that. He is so talented, it's literally crazy. I've been re-watching it on Netflix

and I always knew like really amazing work but like God damn, he is so funny, he is so sharp. He's one of those stories where he was supposed to only have like two lines once and then he was so good that they just kept writing him in. Yeah, the fun fact of the Michael Urie ugly Betty story is that like Vanessa Williams' character was only meant to have, yes, clap for her. Let's celebrate that.

No, that she was supposed to have a new assistant every single episode. That was going to be the bit. And that after the first, after the pilot, like she went to the show runner and was like, no, no, no, we're going to have, it's going to be Michael Urie. So it was her doing. Yeah. She was just like, I like this. This makes a lot of sense to me. I like him. I think he's a great actor. And you know, so that's, yeah, she, she like basically kind of spearheaded, like what then became like one of the greatest characters, one of the greatest queer characters on TV. 1000%. Yeah. Michael Urie and Ugly Betty is one of the greatest characters, one of the greatest queer characters on TV. 1000%.

Yeah, Michael Urie in Ugly Betty is one of the greatest. Do you remember it? I mean, you weren't a baby, you remember it. I mean, I don't remember the first season. Do you remember the scene when he, you are getting bullied at school? Yeah.

And he, it's such a hallmark lifetime moment that should have been corny, but because it's Michael Urie, he was just so dropped in and real. It was just so like, he made it not corny. And he like gave you a speech about how to like be, give him hell at your school. And he's amazing.

And also like this is like early 2000s, like network TV, everything was fucking corny. Yes. You know what I mean? So yeah, that's a testament to his talent. OK, now that we're talking about all this kind of stuff, I think what we need to do is what's on this card now. And it's a segment that we are calling Gay Guy Acting School.

So prepared. Woo! Isn't that great? You literally look straight in that picture. I don't know how they did it. What sort of AI magic is happening there? My 15-year-old body on with that girl. Anyway.

OK, so here's what's going to happen. I'm going to read sides from iconic queer roles that I think I would absolutely slay boots, honey at. And... House down boots diva hunty. Exactly. Happy Pride. Exactly. Happy Pride. And you will be, you will be my acting teacher, my guru.

Now, can I just preface this by saying, I am a fly by the seat of my pants type of actor. Oh my god. I show up to work and I'm like, what scene are we doing today? You're kidding. I learned. Okay. This is, I don't know if I should say this. The day that we did that scene from the finale where Damien has to cry with Marcus and he like falls to the ground and this and that about whatever.

I did not know my lines, like not even a little bit. I showed up to work and I was like, oh what scene are we doing today? Like is it just gonna be like me wiggling around like behind Deborah? And they were like, no, we're doing like the scene. Oh my God. And I said, oh shit, like I should probably learn this.

And you know, it turns out I did. It just, it- You pulled it off. Well, and maybe this could help you. Maybe you don't it turns out I did. It just, it... You pulled it off. Well, and maybe this could help you. Maybe you don't need to be as prepared. I see you, Jared, as like more of a, like a person that prepares for their roles. He's making fun of me.

Okay, yeah, no, I do. I definitely do. I definitely do. You're definitely, it's like an actor at work. An actor prepares. I mean, I wouldn't go that far, but I'm like, let me learn the lines. I do get that vibe from you.

So maybe it needs to be less about preparation and more about just feeling it. Less prep, he said it. I walked right into that one. Okay, let us begin. I thought it would be smart to try my hand at Michael Urie's game-changing gay guy, Mark from Ugly Betty. He was amazing in it, but I am going to be better.

OK. Oh, shit. Here we go. You ready? OK, yes. OK. I want to kill myself. Willa Mina and Daniel will not stop fighting over me.

This menage a moi has got to stop. I hate being in the middle. I mean, unless there's a Jill in hall involved and seen. Okay. Okay. Okay. We have something to work with here. Okay. Something to work with. All right. Just a wait. Can I have the can I have the card? I need to see that. Yeah. See the sides. See the sides. Look at the sides. I'm not off books? I need to see the sides. See the sides, look at the sides. I'm not off book, so I need to see the sides too.

Unless there's a Gyllenhaal involved, it's less, it's not like, I mean, unless, like, he's height heightened. Yes. But that's just a throw away. Just throw it away. Just throw it away. Okay, they always say that in acting classes,

they go, just throw it away, throw it away. And they're talking about your money, just throw it away. Yeah, they always say that in acting classes. They go, just throw it away, throw it away. And they're talking about your money. Just throw it away. Yeah, this is me just like, I'm trying to pick out any single fucking thing from any acting class I've been to, because I am not equipped nor prepared to give you any acting advice, because I'm not a real actor.

Okay, well actually, well here's the thing. We're gonna turn the tables, and now you need to help me with this one. Do you have your card? You didn't bring it. Truly not prepared, he wasn't kidding. Okay, so sit next to me. Oh my god. Yeah, you like this? You like when she's gay guys? Next to each other? Oh my god, you perverts. Kiss, kiss, kiss! Happy Pride! Okay, alright, so here we go. Okay, so now this one, okay, I'm gonna need some help

from Mark. This is a famous coming out scene that meant a lot to me. I'm gonna play Bobby and you're gonna read everyone else. And we edited the scene for the stage, so we better not get any queer emails about this later. Are you ready?

I'm so ready. Okay, you start. So when did you first know that you were a? A mutant. You have to understand, we thought Bobby was going to school for the gifted. He is gifted. We still love you, Bobby, it's just this mutant problem is a little...

What problem? Complicated. And seen. Thank you, Mark. That was incredible. Thank you. Wasn't it? Okay. Hey, A is gifted.

Hey, A is gifted. I really believe... I was like, not from Philly. Well, hey, A is gifted. He is gifted. I really believe, I was like, not from Philly. Well, he is gifted. From Atlanta. Me and my best friend Tony were in the car on the way here doing a Toddlers and Tiaras impression, so I feel like very prepared for that today. Were you really?

Wait, do you want to give us a little of your Toddlers and Tiaras? It was just like, Mackenzie, you're going to go out there. You're going to smile. And you're going to give the girls what they want. And the judges are just gonna love you. Go out there, you smile, smile, smile, and you get a Mountain Dew at the end.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Bravo. There we go. Yes. Honey and delicato boo boo. Boots, boots, boots. Wah! Ha ha ha ha.

Okay, now let's switch gears and do something a little more lighthearted. This is Roy Cohn from Tony Kushner's Angels in America. I'm gonna give it my fucking all. Okay, here we go. Jared, you're doing this one, right? Yes, I'm doing this. Okay, thank God.

Oh honey, I've locked you up in your dressing room and I'm taking the stage. I don't want you to be impressed. I want you to understand. This is not sophistry and this is not hypocrisy. This is reality. I have sex with men but unlike nearly every other man whom this is true, I bring the guys I'm screwing

to the White House and President Reagan smiles at us and shakes his hand because I am defined entirely by who I am. Roy Cohn is not a homosexual. Roy Cohn is a heterosexual man, Henry, who fucks around with guys. So no, Henry, no. AIDS is what homosexuals have. I have liver cancer!

I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer!

I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer!

I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! I have liver cancer! And finally, a role that meant a lot to horny little gay boys everywhere. It's Arthur's gay little teacher. Mr. Ratburn. More like Mr. Saltburn. Mr. Ratburn, oh there wedding under the eyes of God was featured on the animated children's show Arthur. Mr. Ratburn is not simply a gay teacher, he also marries a kind of chocolatier which is ripped from the headlines of my own future life, I assume. Mark, I've learned so much this evening,

and now I'd like to ask you to please read this little gay teacher for me. Oh, and also this one involves a little object work, which is answering a phone. Oh, okay. And I'll play the little gay phone. Okay, play the little gay phone. Will you get it together?

I'm getting, I've been together. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you guys. Will you get it together? I'm get it- I've been together. Yeah, I mean you guys are having a blast, right? Their words, not mine. Okay, gay phone. Ring, ring, ring. Oh, hello Patty. I'm afraid I can't talk right now.

Oh, flower arrangements? I was thinking of sunflowers. Yeah, sunflowers, yeah. Sunflowers do look a little silly, but perhaps pink? Yeah, white is more elegant. Thank you, Patty, goodbye. Honestly, kind of homophobic. Gay little teacher.

Those were your descriptors. And with that, thank you Mark! You can stream all of Hacks season 3 now on Max. When we're back, it's the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way. Now it's time for a little housekeeping. Crooked is going big because we were talking about the new Now it's time for a little housekeeping.

Crooked is going big because we refuse to go home. Help us hit our 100,000 fundraising goal in support of organizations fighting in states where conservatives are banning gender-affirming care and targeting trans youth at the exact moment they need us the most. We're aiming high because Lord knows these right-wing freaks are going low. Donate directly to the fund or pick up items from our new Pride or Else collection and let Crooked do it for you, with a portion of proceeds going directly to the fund. Learn more at crooked.com backslash pride. Please welcome to the stage, Benda LeCrem!

Remember me? Benda LeCrem got drunk. I feel like I'm supposed to have changed outfits. That's usually what a drag queen is supposed to do, but that's why I like podcasts. Well, I was hoping, but here we are. Well, you're still in the same things. Yeah. Yeah.

But we're going to fuck later. Before we go, we're going to take a spin. So you're cheating on me. The Ratwheel. The Ratwheel. Woo! Uh-oh. Whoa. Okay. So now you have one minute to rant against anything your heart desires. Yeah, it's people that cry on the internet.

I think that's fucking weird. I think that sobbing, trying to get one single tear selfie, like what's going on? I don't like that. And especially when it's about your stupid ex boyfriend that no one literally gives a fuck about, I don't care. And the truth of the matter is, is that who does care? I wonder what people are DMing them, being like,

babe, I'm here to support you. Like, just, I don't know. Like, what is that? And then secondly, because I don't have a minute to talk about it, I'd like to talk about JoJo Siwa for a second. Woo! And I'd like to just say that I didn't know

what happened to the culture when being a bad girl just means putting on makeup as the creature from the Black Lagoon. I don't necessarily know that that is, what constitutes being a bad girl anymore, okay? When I think of bad girls, I think of Tiffany Pollard. I think of, like, I'm like, does it look like I give a fuck? Because I don't. It's like, she's just saying I'm a bad girl doing bad things.

What bad things are you doing? Jojoseph was never, like, done a line of coke and then taken to Xanax 20 minutes after. And you know that that's true. And that constitutes a bad girl. I'm not saying that I don't recommend it. I'm just saying that that constitutes a bad girl. And'm not saying that I don't recommend it. I'm just saying that that constitutes a bad girl. And that's probably my time, right?

That was six and a half minutes. Thank you, Marc and Delicato. And now JoJo has ideas for her next trip to Epcot. Yeah. And JoJo, come on out. She kicks her ass. I wish she fucking would. She would destroy you physically.

I think she would overpower you. Oh, she's gigantic. Yeah. Anyway, Bandela, you're up. Where's the cut it panel? Well, we're gonna find out. The wheel. Let's spin the wheel again.

["Drums Ringing"] ["Drums Ringing"] ["Drums Ringing"] Whoa. How convenient. Oh my God, it's RuPaul's Drag Race's Benda LeCreme. Who could have guessed it? You have one minute on the clock, there's no clock. Okay, great. All right, I would like to talk about the devolution of gay language.

I would like to talk about the fact that we used to be incredible at talking. We went from Oscar Wilde to Miss Vanjie. I... I... I... Listen, recognition is not humor. It used to be that you needed to hear a joke to laugh

and now you just hear something you heard before and you go, yes, not today. Satan isn't a joke. It's, it's, it's an idiom. It's, it's, it's an idiom. It's, it's, it's an idiom. It's, it's, it's an idiom. If I repeated like, oh, his bark is worse than his body

on stage over and over again, nobody would laugh. I don't understand why it works for Bianca Del Rio. God rest her soul. Whoever first said house down boots was a linguistic icon. Whoever first said house down boots was a linguistic icon. I mean, they said icon. That's another tired one. Yeah, I'm certainly tired. Should we, should we spin this damn wheel again?

Who is it going to be? I don't know. It's the dog. It's the dog. It's the dog. It's the dog. Oh my god. It's Jared Goldstein from the stage and the screen. From almost made in Manhattan.

Yeah. And almost ugly Betty. And almost hacks. And almost probably like a Lifetime movie or something, right? Never. Never? No. Never? No. Damn, okay.

I, I, no I won't not. Maybe I'm going to rant against Lifetime for not hiring you. I want to be in a Lifetime movie with Lisa Rinna. Anyway, we'll talk about that later. Yeah, it'll be amazing. Okay, so here's what I want to rant about. Okay, straight guys, you're allowed to paint your nails, but I have to be allowed to call you a faggot. These are the rules, okay?

I just can't live in a world where these guys have spent the last 20 years calling everyone a faggot for doing stuff like that, and now suddenly they're doing it and it's like, oh no no no no, but you can't say it to me, but you cannot say it to me. No, you can't say it. No, fuck you. You look like a faggot, you fucking fag. Please. It's okay.

Let me do it. It will be healing for me. It's really flattering for you. It makes you look really chill and fun loving to let someone make fun of you. You look like a fag. Come on. Let me actually write like faggy onto your nails and it will erase at least sixth grade, if not sixth and seventh, for me in my heart and in my mind. So straight guys, I love it. Wear a skirt. Do your thing. Also, the new thing I love, straight guys are carrying their girlfriends' bags.

Are you seeing this out in the world? Oh my god. These young guys are carrying, they're just straight up and down, just like straight bros. And then they are carrying the cuntiest little faggianca that is their girlfriend's little Balenciaga. And it is so fucking erotic to me. I'm like, oh my god, oh my god.

So I love it all, but just let me call you faggot. And Jacob Elordi with his little fucking faggy flat bags. Yes! Yes. You know what I mean? Yes, exactly. Let's be for real. Let's be for real.

Were you thinking about Tom Sandoval when you... No, I was literally thinking about like this guy in my neighborhood. T. I want to yell faggot on my street, come on, let me. You should. Yeah, I should. Just let's do it right now. Let's go outside the theater and stream with all of us.

Yeah, well I totaled my car, so can you drive me? Ha ha ha. And now, because we all need it, here it is, the high note. Hey temporary love it. This is Jared from Pensacola, Florida. I just had my high note for the week. Big deal. My grandmother, who has voted Republican all her life, recently said that after the felony indictments of former President Trump that she could not in good conscience vote for him and would be voting for Joe Biden in the upcoming election. So, hey, maybe those felony accounts make a difference, right?

Oh, boy, lock him up. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I'll let you guys keep doing the jokes. All right. Thanks. Hi, Lovett. It's Helen from Scotland. Actually from Belfast, but I live in Scotland. My high note this week is that we were on our way back from a trip up north and we stopped off an Aldi supermarket in Aviemore. Don't normally get much chat from the people who serve you at the tills, but the older man who served us asked me what my friend at the pod jumper was all about. And when I explained to Crooked Media where he said, Oh yeah, I think I've

seen those guys on the late night talk shows. There's a couple of big serious ones and a small funny one. Anyway, I was absolutely delighted that Crooked Media has had some cut through in the Highlands of Scotland, so well done. Thanks to everyone who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that gave you hope, send a voice memo to lolihinotes.gmail.com. That's lolihinotes.gmail.com. We get it.

Or if you're Friends of the Pod subscriber, you have the exclusive ability to leave us your high notes without the hassle of a call or email. Simply head on over to the Friends of the Pod Discord server and post a comment or voice memo in the hashtag love it hyphen or hyphen leave hyphen it channel or hashtag hi hyphen notes channel for a chance to hear it featured on the show exclamation point quotation mark.

That's our show! Thank you so much for joining us. on the show! That's our show! Thank you so much to Ben Delacram and Mark Delacato. If you liked me, please listen to my new podcast, Sorry What, comes out later this month. Maybe they'll come on it. I would love that, just saying. There are 149 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great night and have a great weekend! Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media Production.

It is written and produced by me, John Love It and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our Executive Producer, Chris Lord is our Producer, and Kennedy Hill is our Associate Producer. Hallie Kiefer is our Head Writer, Sarah Lazarus, and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana Del Shiki are our Writers. Evan Sutton is our Editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide Audio Support.

Stephen Colon is our Audio Engineer, and Milo Kim is our Videographer. Our Theme Song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer Bernardo Serna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. Hey drag fans, listen up. Have you heard of Race Chaser with Alaska and Willem? It's the premier RuPaul's Drag Race recap pod.

And if you aren't listening to this hit show yet, start right now. Hosted by bona fide drag superstars, Race Chaser takes you behind the scenes of this season and all seasons of Drag Race. It's the ultimate backstage pass for both Drag Race obsessives and new fans alike. So don't wait, check out new episodes of Race Chaser with Alaska and Willem. It's a great show. I've been a guest on it. It's so funny.

They're so great. Everybody check out Race Chaser. It's every Wednesday and Friday, wherever you get your podcasts.