Lovett or Leave It - George Santos Reality Show Countdown

Episode Date: November 18, 2023

Lovett or Leave It wants to stuff you… with a delicious pre-Thanksgiving episode! Vice President Kamala Harris (Allison Reese) is ready to pardon a turkey, but the rest of us aren’t getting off so easy. Lizzy Cooperman and Victoria Vincent lay out a potluck of non-political news topics for your weird family members to nibble on, and the Gratitude Wheel invites you to slice off a piece of appreciation, whether it’s for time off, our wonderful coworkers, or, of course, Matt Dallas from Kyle XY, who seems to be thriving on his farm with his husband and kids. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

What is up, Los Angeles? Stop it. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, and a very happy gobble-gobble to all of you filthy pilgrims out there. We've got a great show for you. It's filled with stuffing and covered in gravy, just like me. The vice president is here, just as she told those migrants from the Northern Triangle. We asked her not to come,

and like all those migrants from the Northern Triangle, she didn't listen. Victoria Vincent and Lizzie Cooperman are going to teach us how to have tough conversations with relatives about the holidays, but not about anything remotely important. And Alison Reese joins us for a spin of the gratitude wheel. What did I do? How did I fuck that up? Let's be thankful for once in our gobble gobble lives.

But first, let's get into it. What a week. A leading Tim Scott donor will host a high-end fundraiser in New York for Nikki Haley, according to an invitation sent out less than 24 hours after Scott dropped out of the race. Yikes. This is like when somebody dumps you and then you see them back on Tinder the next day. But even worse, because in that analogy, at least you're someone who had sex in your lifetime. I mean, we don't get to make these jokes anymore because he's gone. So I guess that'll be the last one for a bit.

West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin said Wednesday that he would consider a presidential run saying this. I will do anything I can to help my country. Is that a yes? And you're saying, does that mean you would consider it? Absolutely. Every American should consider if they're in a position to help save the country. You guys know Joe Manchin. Always willing to do anything

he can to improve people's circumstances. Anything short of changing an obscure Senate rule to allow Democrats to pass legislation that would do just that. Anything at all. This fucking guy. But remember, Joe Manchin,

catch more bees with honey. But that guy, is it bees he catch with honey or flies? Both. The bees make the honey. We get the honey from the bees to tempt the flies. And they both don't like vinegar. Meanwhile, Donald Trump has filed a motion for a mistrial in his New York fraud case, alleging that Judge Arthur Engeron is biased.

This is a last resort for Trump after his initial legal strategy of insulting the judge to his face a bunch of times failed to find traction. I do see Trump's point, though. Every single witness that he has brought to the stand was someone Trump hates, like Don Jr. Given that Engeron himself will rule on the mistrial, the motion is unlikely to succeed. Being forced to do a performance review of yourself at the most exhausting time of the year, judges, they're just like us.

Is it not performance review season where you are? Or is that a crooked thing? Everybody doing their performance reviews? Clap if you're doing a performance review. Clap if you have to do a self-review. How'd you do this year? I did great. Oh, sorry.

Where can you improve? I'll talk to anybody. Where do you think you can improve? Wow. So really, really, really. So you're firing on all cylinders. Did you have to write where you thought you can improve this year? Yeah.

I have some time to do it, though. You have some time to do it? Yeah. Do you think there are areas where you need to improve, or are you just improve this year? Yeah. I have some time to do it, though. You have some time to do it? Yeah. Do you think there are areas where you need to improve, or are you just going to come up with something to finish the form? I've been doing the job for 16 years. 16 years. I actually have more experience than the person who's actually doing my review.

You have more experience than the person doing your review. Oh. So it sounds like a pleasant experience for you. I have to be very tact you know, tactful. Tactful. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Where do you have to improve? Where do I have to improve? For whatever reason, no one seems to want to hear my review of myself. I do that here every week. Where do I need to improve, Brian? They wouldn't let you review me. They wouldn't let me? Did you ask?

Yeah, you're not in the system. I'd have done it. I'd have done it. I'd have done it. Thank you. Trump retruthed a truth social, yuck, from a supporter that read, I would like to see Tish James and Judge Engeron placed under citizen's arrest

for blatant election interference and harassment. This is what Trump was up to the day after his older sister, Marianne, died, bravely posting through the grief, threatening judges through the tears. It's one of the stages, actually. I don't know where it goes. Denial, bargaining, threatening. Actually, I think anger. I mean, I think it actually is one of he's in that he's genuinely in a stage of grief. You know, he is a person in some sense, I guess.

Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen was photographed ordering in and out before going to the airport to meet China's president on Tuesday. I think we have a photo. Imagine getting to look Janet Yellen dead in the eye and say, would you like that animal style, Madam Secretary? Animal style. Is there any other way, she replies, running a finger down the lapel of her sensible suit jacket? You know she's a freak. She'd raise your rates, you know what I'm saying? President Biden subsequently met with China's President Xi

for the first time in a year on Wednesday, with Xi assuring him that the planet is big enough for both superpowers. Continued Xi, we just have to do a little downsizing. Give planet Earth the Marie Kondo treatment. Let's go alphabetically. Does Afghanistan spark joy? Biden also wished Xi's wife a happy early birthday, causing the Chinese president to admit that he had forgotten his wife's birthday, which was coming up on November 20th, which led him to say that he was embarrassed. Biden has the kind of wife-guy energy that transcends borders and even wives.

American, Chinese, his wife, your wife, he's going to remember her birthday. We've all been wondering how World War III would start, and I'm excited to announce that it's simply Chinese President Xi felt birthday cucked. wondering how World War III would start, and I'm excited to announce that it's simply Chinese President Xi felt birthday cucked. Meanwhile, thousands of TikTok users have been posting videos where they gush approvingly of Osama bin Laden's A Letter to America and encouraging others to read it. The Guardian ultimately removed the virulently anti-Semitic, homophobic, and violent text. Based on my experience, the only way to make something go even more viral on TikTok is to turn it into a mystery or give it a gigantic perfect ass. So great job, Guardian. You picked the worst one. Now, instead of freaking out about the fact that people are sharing this disgusting document, I'm going to chalk it up to another case

of no one actually read the article. They just skimmed it. They saw that America should assign the Kyoto Climate Change Agreement and missed the stuff like Ben Franklin was right about the Jews and America invented AIDS. Those are real. Jesus. Kids. Kids. You can't be this cheap a date. When the answer is stop being gay and kill the Jews, you don't need to do so much work to parse the question. You know what I'm saying? In a statement released Thursday, the White House condemned TikTokers promoting the letter, saying that no one should ever insult the 2,977 American families still mourning loved ones by associating themselves with the vile words of Osama bin Laden. I'm glad the U.S. is finally taking a stance on Osama bin Laden. The silence was deafening. on Osama bin Laden, the silence was deafening.

Meanwhile, to wake up today, to see stories about kids discovering the B-sides of bin Laden was too much for my, I was like, I simply cannot. Then you have to go online and see people explaining why they shouldn't do that. And it's like, oh no, we shouldn't have to explain that. That should be something people came to naturally, which is why I've decided to support homeschooling. Homeschooling.

Because if I had to choose between kids that knew how old the earth was. But. Meanwhile, more than a dozen this episode of love relieve it brought you by homeschooling meanwhile more than a dozen celebrities led by sasha baron cohen confronted tiktok executives to demand they do more to combat rising anti-semitism on the platform as israel's invasion of gaza and war with hamas continues you don't want to fuck with us on this, warn the celebrities. We've printed out the sheet music to imagine. We've divvied up the parts. TikTok's head of operations said the platform can do more to stop harassment of Jewish creators like responding

quicker to harassment reports, but that there is no magic button to address all of their concerns. Continue the executive. I mean, a magic button that controls everything? Only the Jews have that. Meanwhile, in Congress, Republicans are still unable to use their words after challenging Teamster President Sean O'Brien to a fight on the floor of the Senate. Senator Mark Wayne Mullen defended the move in the press, telling Newsmax, every now and then, you need to get punched in the face. Now you're speaking my language, Mark Wayne. You need to get punched in the face. Now you're speaking my language, Marguerite. Sexually.

But the whole point of Teamsters is you're never fighting just one. One of the funny things about L.A. is there's the writers' union and the actors' union and the directors' union. And they have power through collective bargaining and action. But these are still unions made up of former speech and debate champs and elliptical users who make student films inspired by the umbrellas of Chambord. You know what I mean? Like, these are soft, soft, sweet adults. And they have power through their collective action. But you're not afraid of them. You know, not even a bunch of them. They could stop a car briefly, but even then, they're going to get out of the way if you honk. You know what I'm saying? But underneath the whole strike, it was this idea that like, listen, we know the writers, we know the actors are striking, but nobody fuck with the Teamsters. Studios don't fuck with the Teamsters. The writers don't fuck

with the Teamsters. Don't fuck with the Teamsters. I think that's a good rule. I don't really remember the Irishman, but I think that's one of the lessons of that film as well. one of the lessons of that film as well. A friend of mine was telling me a story about the writer's strike that happened in 2007. And they took a break from, I don't know, walking in front of Paramount or something. And they went to a bar and they ordered Mai Tais and they had these big drinks with the umbrellas on the side.

And some old teamster was at the bar just happy to be getting a drink. And he said, oh, who are you? And they said who they were. And the teamster said, in my day when we went on strike, there were no Mai Tais. I like that.

Mark Wayne Mullen later told Fox News. Some people say, is this behavior incumbent to a senator? I don't know, but I will tell you this for sure. That's not how we behave in Oklahoma, and I'm an Oklahoman first. And so if you're going to run your mouth,

you're going to be called out on it. And that's what happened here. I mean, no offense, but I really wasn't worried about the fight itself, but I was ready to shut his mouth up. A couple of points I'd like to make about this.

I feel like the one thing that unites like Oklahoma, like New York is you could say that exact same sentence, but you could say New York in it. You know, like, I don't know what they do in D.C., but in New York, we don't tolerate that kind of shit. And then I got to think is like, well, where are the places where they say like, oh, we don't fight here. People fight everywhere. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh yeah, not like those fags in Seattle. Maybe not in Seattle.

Look, I'm not going to stand up here and call myself an Oklahoma expert, but I have seen the musical, and from what I remember, it's a lot more singing and bell kicks. Meanwhile, I don't think they really thought they were going to fight. I think that's a classic hold me back situation. Like, oh, oh my, you know, like there's so much space. The thing he does, which I appreciate. And by the way, to be clear, Mark Wayne Mullen, if you're hearing this,

I don't want to fight you. You would win. I surrender. Wayne Mullen, if you're hearing this, I don't want to fight you. You would win. I surrender. But he stands up, he stands up. And if you look, watch what he does with his hands, but he goes for his ring and then he lets go as if he's going to take his ring off, either already realizing that this is not going to go there or it's all pantomime. I don't know if he's in the moment realizing he's not actually going to fight or he never was planning to, but if the ring had come off and said like, these guys are going to, this could happen. And I'd be cool with it happening. Meanwhile, that's not the only physical altercation in Congress this week. Kevin McCarthy's shoving survivor, Tim Burchett, and a Newsmax host suggested on Wednesday that GOP congressman, because,

GOP congresswoman, he, anyway, wait. He suggested, fuck it, I don't care. Tim Burchett, you know, he got an elbow to the kidneys and he's milking it for all he's worth. That guy's been on a press tour. He said that GOP congressman Nancy Mace would be forced to spill some dirt on McCarthy if he messed with their campaigns.

See the clip. He also has $17 million in an account that he'll be messing in a lot of people like mine and Nancy Mace's campaigns, I'm sure. And so, you know. I don't know if he does that with Nancy Mace. She could come back at him with some stuff that he doesn't want out there in the public, I think, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, she's already told me. She said, I hope he does that with me. And she'll take care of him. She takes care of her own. What are you talking about?

Sex stuff? Ew. I don't want to know. Keep your secrets. Let them have their secrets. I don't want to know. It's chilling to think about. What secret could McCarthy possibly have that's more embarrassing than everything that's happened to him on live TV? Later on Tuesday, McCarthy denied having intentionally hit Burchett, saying, If I hit somebody, they would know it. If I kidney punch someone, they would be on the ground. Okay, OJ. Republican Congressman Ken Buck had this take on McCarthy's denial. Kevin McCarthy and lying are like peanut butter and jelly. Too spicy.

But fight night on Capitol Hill still wasn't over. A heated argument broke out during a House oversight hearing. Republican Congressman James Comer has in the past tried to make hay about a loan Joe Biden gave his brother when Joe Biden was out of office. We've already called for the president to release the terms of the so-called loan that he apparently claims he made to his brother. Then the Daily Beast reported that James Comer, who you just saw speaking, had some shady dealings of his own with his brother over some land. That led Congressman Jared Moskowitz to point this out during the hearing. It has come out in the public that you also do business with your brother with potential loans. And so since you have framed that and manipulated that with the American people, that Joe Biden did something wrong when he wasn't in office, I just would like to know if you would

like to use some of my time. I would love I would love it. At which point Comer called Jared Moskowitz. Reclaiming my time. No, I'm not going to give you your time back. We can stop the clock. You all continue to, you look like a smurf here, just going around and all this stuff. Mr. Chairman, you have. No, I'm going to tell you something.

You look like a smurf. Because for those listening, he's wearing a blue suit with a blue tie. He didn't really land it. He says you look like a Smurf and he kind of the way he did the ding. Let's just go through it. Because he says he says he like kind of attacks the allegation. And then he says you look like a Smurf. But the way he says you look like a Smurf implies that it's connected to the way he's leveling the allegation. And because it's not, neither hit lands, neither hit lands. If he had said something like that Daily Beast report is bullshit and you know it, and you look like a fucking smurf, that would have landed.

That would have landed. If he just made it a separate unrelated hit, because it's not like smurfs are famous for doing investigations or they're like famously deceptive. They're just blue. And that was just a comment about his blue clothes. He tried to tie the blue slam to the lie slam or the claim that the allegation about his brother is a lie slam, but he couldn't do it. He needed to keep it separate.

That's all a note for James Comer, Republican. And then later Moskowitz tweeted a Gargamel burn. He just called him. He said tweeted a Gargamel burn. He just called him. He said something about Gargamel. I don't have jokes about Moskowitz and Comer. I just want to keep you up to date on the goings on in Congress. House Speaker Mike Johnson pushed through a stopgap spending bill to avoid a government shutdown over the objections of many House Republicans. But don't worry, if you miss this government shutdown, you can just catch the next one or the one after that.

The bill that passed is almost identical to one Johnson opposed just six weeks ago when he was still an unknown hardliner. It's tough to be the guy in charge, isn't it, Mike? Can't just kick your feet up and yell biblical slurs at the guy in the big chair, because you're the guy in the big chair. Easy to make fun of Noah for the wood he chose for the keel and garbered

strake. Not so easy to build a boat, is it, babe? It's been a busy week for Johnson as he also stopped by CNBC's Squawk Box. The dumbest name fucking show in the world. Squawk Box. What's a Squawk Box? Anyway, he went to CNBC, of course, to talk about why there shouldn't be a separation between church and state. The separation of church and state is a misnomer.

People misunderstand it. Of course, it comes from a phrase that was in a letter that Jefferson wrote. It's not in the Constitution. Anyway, everyone, please open your math textbooks to Leviticus. Said Johnson, what he was explaining is they did not want the government to encroach upon the church, not that they didn't want the principles of faith to encroach on our public life. It's exactly the opposite. It's like how I can make my wife turn on location sharing on her phone,

but she can't make me. This is simple, intuitive stuff. We also learned this week via Politico that Mike Johnson is a board member for Living Waters Publication, a Christian ministry and publisher which made videos that somehow are exactly as you'd expect, but also shocking, like how monkeypox is an inevitable and appropriate penalty for being gay. In response, the Guardian swiftly took down Mike Johnson's rambling screed, A Letter

to America. Speaking of an appropriate penalty for being gay, George Sanchez was spotted feeding a baby. I don't know what that means. On the floor of the Congress. Only this time we know who that baby is. Why, it's Lauren Boebert's grandson. For now. And then on Thursday, the House Ethics Committee released an ethics report on George Santos revealing substantial evidence that the Republican congressman misused campaign funds. All right, think, George, muttered Santos. You sweet-talk your way out of that Sultan's high security dungeon, and you'll sweet-talk your way out of this one.

According to the report, Santos used campaign funds for purchases at Sephora and Hermes. George, I just have one message for you from the whole Love It or Leave It team. Did you ever know that you're my hero?

The report... The report also says that Santos used campaign funds to pay for Botox when confronted with his accusation, Santos was stoic. And if that wasn't...

Only if you get too much. If you get just the right amount, your crow's feet go away. And if that wasn't wonderful enough, Santos additionally used campaign funds for purchases on OnlyFans. This is why, if you use Covenant Eyes, your accountability partner cannot be Matt Gaetz. Oh, and the report also says that Santos knowingly filed false

financial statements to Congress and the Federal Election Committee, and the Ethics Committee has a sentencing recommendation. Six years on a trashy reality TV show. Oh, oh no. In the wake of the report, Santos said Thursday that he would not seek re-election because in a sense he has already won our hearts. Santos did throw his full support behind the campaign of his twin sister, Georgina Von Foxy, saying you're going to love her. She wears a lot of Sephora. Santos said he wouldn't seek re-election because his family deserves better than to be under the gun from the press all the time. Santos attached a photo of his gorgeous family, three bundled up Hermes scars with pacifiers slathered in Charlotte Tilbury. Here on the West Coast, a massive fire severely damaged a section of the 10 freeway in downtown Los Angeles.

Officials originally said it might take months to repair. After the 1994 Northridge earthquake, a section of the tent was rebuilt in three months, but that was before everyone had TikTok on their phones. Of course, as we all know, when a fire damaged a section of highway in Philly, Governor Josh Shapiro got a temporary fix up in two weeks. This was not lost on California governor and guy who shows you how to serve a volleyball, even though you didn't ask, Gavin Newsom. He said on Tuesday that fixing the highway would take only three to five weeks, and he'd like to push for it to be completed even sooner. Hell yeah. Come on, Gavin. You get

showed up by some Pennsylvanian. The blaze at the highway was fueled in part by sanitizer bought during the height of the pandemic and stored under an overpass in downtown L.A. Newsom described the fire as being set with malice intent, saying it appeared to be arson. Continued Newsom, our next task is to determine who in Los Angeles has a personal grudge against the freeway. So far, we have narrowed it down to everyone. According to the New York Times, federal officials are investigating whether New York City Mayor Eric Adams pressured the fire department to approve occupancy of a new high-rise in Manhattan that houses the Turkish consulate, despite concerns over the building's fire safety system. The claim is part of a public corruption investigation by the FBI, who seized

Adams' electronic devices last week. Said one investigator, while the corruption inquiry is ongoing, we can now confirm that this guy has the weirdest camera roll you have ever fucking seen. Look at it. Do you think that's the same year of corn or like a dozen different ones? And he's clearly on a roller coaster, right? How many times can one adult man go to the medieval times in Lindhurst and he always seems to go alone? Is it every Saturday? I thought he was a vegan. The man has a picture of every rat in New York City in a folder titled personal enemies. He's a weird dude. Geth Goes Skiing a musical about Gwyneth Paltrow's legal battle

with a 76 year old retired optometrist who claimed the actress slammed into him on a ski slope and ultimately lost in court will open in London

next month unrelated I'll be taking some time off to go to London next month for a funeral that's right a funeral

in case you're wondering how quickly the Gwyneth Paltrow musical came together Paltrow's trial was in March of this year. This thing moved faster than a lying optometrist on skis.

After public backlash, Warner Brothers announced the studio will be reversing its decision to shelve Coyote vs. Acme, allowing the filmmakers to try to find a distributor. The studio had decided to scrap the movie for a $30 million tax write-off. The studio realized it had gone too far only after slowly coming to a standstill,

searching around with just a foot only to feel nothing, only howling sky, looking down and then holding up a sign that said, Help. And finally, a plane en route to Belgium was forced to turn back to JFK Airport after a horse got loose in the cargo hold. But the real drama started when he decided to recline his seat. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, said the pilot over the intercom. Is there a cowboy on board? When asked why the horse was on the plane to begin with, a Spirit Airlines spokesperson responded,

if you know a better way to get the plane to smell like that, I'd love to hear it. The horse escaped from its stall at around 31,000 feet, said one of the pilots to air traffic control in Boston. We don't have a problem flying-wise, but we cannot get the horse back secured. The pilot went on, so yes, everything is fine. Please have fresh oats at the ready when we land. And carrots. This is still the human pilot, by the way. Nay day, nay day.

Anyway, things were relatively under control until that same horse started loudly singing Grammy-nominated gospel songs. Fortunately, the horse and the human passengers safely landed in JFK, though the horse was later canceled after praising Osama bin Laden on TikTok. When we come back, it's Vice President

Kamala Harris. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Cariuma. You guys know about Cariuma shoes. Love them. They're cool, ethically made, and you can actually walk around in them without having to take embarrassing little breaks.

I love Cariuma sneakers. I wear them all the time. We all do. All the time. We sure do. And Cricket just released a second shoe with them, the Love It or Leave It sneakers. They even have tiny pictures of dogs

and a What a Week thing and a little bicycle. It's like a fun little candy land. It's a fun, it's a, it's a, what would you call that? A mosaic? A mural? Sure. They're very cool. And I went to the website before we came out here just to see, you know, to see how they're doing. A lot of the sides are selling out, people.

Get them while they're hot. A portion of the proceeds from every pair sold is donated to VSA's Every Last Vote Fund. Crooked's last collaboration with Karima sold out super quickly, as I mentioned, as is this one. So go check it out. They're the perfect gift for the holiday season with free returns. Just head to crooked.com slash store. That's crooked.com slash store. And we're back. Crooked.com slash store. And we're back. Like a murderer in a ski mask lurking behind your shower curtain, the 2024 presidential election is just around the corner. I have feelings about it.

You have feelings about it. But most importantly, I have feelings about it. Here now to tell us more about the Biden campaign's reelection strategy and hopefully help me sleep without my nightly handful of Ambien, because I cannot keep receiving packages I don't remember ordering, it's Vice President Kamala Harris. Madam Vice President, thank you so much for being here. Hi, John. I'm Kamala.

Okay, Harris. No i i know that we've actually met a number of times you've been on the show before sure yeah sure i love the show okay i love all shows gray's anatomy all of them. Okay. Hey, so you seem a little distracted. Is the 2024 anxiety getting to you too? Heck no, John. I'm not worried at all. And it's not just because I ate all the pills at the bottom of my purse

that I thought were loose mini Altoids, but then they were pills. Really? Well, they definitely weren't Altoids. Okay. Smell? No, okay. I mean, oh, mean oh jesus yeah no i don't think it was i mean aren't you worried about the election next year oh no no no no no no no no no

no no 2024 okay it's a piece of cake john piece of funfetti cake, even, with chocolate icing and, you know, those sprinkles you get at the grocery store. Little shapes, the circle stars. What was I talking about? It was 2024. Oh, no, I wasn't. That's right. I was saying 2024 is a piece of cake. If I seem a little preoccupied, John,

it's only because I have just so much on my plate right now. Not talking about cake either. God, love my shirt. It's for hip hop. And you know, I'm just, I'm so slammed. Busy, busy, busy, busy. Madam Vice President,

I say this with all due respect, but you have things on your plate. Oh, many, many, many things. Such as? Yes. Oh, you want examples. Only if you don't mind. Yeah, that should be fine.

Okay, let me see. Just thinking through what I can tell you. Okay, since you don't have security clearance. Okay, I think I'm allowed to share this. It's my job, okay, to choose which turkey the president will pardon this year. Well, that sounds taxing. It's all up to me. Okay, John.

I'm the decider. It's between chestnut and marshmallow. And I don't know where I'm going decider. It's between chestnut and marshmallow. And I don't know where I'm going to land. I'm up to my ears in case files and victim impact statements. Case files? Not a vice president. It's just a fun, silly annual tradition. I don't think either of the turkeys has committed actual crimes.

Don't tell me how to do my job. Okay, Jonathan. I was a prosecutor. I'm not about to let the wrong turkey walk free anyway that is not even the half of it my dwali event was protested by an instagram poet and i'm still dealing with the fallout of that oh ruby car you mean i didn't invite someone to write haikus for 23 yearolds in toxic situationships so that she could make a political statement about Israel, okay? I invited

her for clout. And I also wanted to ask her advice about Doug, because sometimes I feel like he sees me as needy, you know? But that's only because quality time is my love language.

Of course. And hey, having needs isn't needy, babe. Thank you, babe. Anyway, on top of all that, I have to decorate my official Christmas tree. And that is a tree from Minnesota for the first time. So I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to hang on there. Loot Fisk? I feel like regular ornaments, probably fine.

Okay, plus the president has personally asked me to trace at least a thousand hand turkeys to decorate the state dining room. He said I'm the only one he trusts to do it because I have the most turkey-like hands. Madam Vice President, I have to be honest. A lot of this sounds like busy work. You're wrong, John.

Okay, it's all important. If Joe Biden didn't value my analysis of his immigration proposal where I highlighted all the nouns, the verbs, and the adjectives in different colors, why would he hang it on the fridge? I guess I have no response to that. It's good to stay busy, though. Busyness keeps the thoughts away.

I'm sorry to keep asking, but are you sure you're not worried about 2024? Not even in the least. Why would I be? There was that bleak New York Times poll that showed Biden losing to Trump in five of the six most critical swing states. It wasn't all bad news. I mean, that poll said I would lose to Trump by slightly fewer points. But you're not running for president, at least so far, and losing by a little less is still losing.

Fine. Okay, fine. i am freaking the fuck out is that what you want to hear no i'm freaking the fuck out and you should be all of you should be the front runner of the gop nomination proudly calls himself an election denier wants to round up immigrants to put them into camps and talks about deporting people who protest on college campuses. And you know who we've got on deck to stop him? An 80-year-old Delaware grandpa's eating ice cream who makes Sleepy Time tea band look like high-energy coked-up pipe bees.

And fucking me. It sounds even scarier when you put it like that. Girl, I know. Somehow, by sticking with the safest option and minimizing risk we are also taking a gigantic okay risk like when doug flips the board after one of our game nights there's risk everywhere none of this is making me feel better Kamala, if I can call you that. None of this is making me feel better.

Tough titties, John. These are the facts on the ground. And we're going to have to deal with them. We all have the misfortune to be living through a time that's very scary. Okay? And very stupid. It's scooped. Okay? It stupid. It's scooped, okay? It is. It's scooped. And sure, Joe and I are part of that.

But we're also the way out of that. The 2024 election is a year away. And it won't be decided by today's polls. It'll be decided by what you do tomorrow. And we will win when we remember that this election isn't about me or sweet Joseph Ribbonette Biden. That's his full name. The media makes this about politicians,

about gaffes and narratives and polls and personalities. But remember, there's building to do. And Joe and I, we aren't the builders. We're hammers and shovels, cracked and frayed and rusted and weird, and you're the builders. Now, excuse me. I'm needed back in the situation room. That's where I left my colored pencils for the hand turkeys.

Well, please go. America is depending on you. Vice President Kamala Harris, everybody. Thank you. Yeah, I haven't taken a normal shit in months, and I don't know if it'll ever happen again. Happy Thanksgiving, America. Vice President Kamala Harris.

Thank you for being here. Thank you. Oh, and thank you so much. You just missed her, but Allison, her solo show, Unhinged Beyond the Kamala, just wrapped a run at UCB and is about to hit the road in some other venues throughout LA.

I am. I'm about to hit the road. I'm going to be in Columbus the day after Thanksgiving. Hell yeah. And then Phoenix in Christmas. Alison Reese, everybody. When we come back, let's not talk politics with your family.

And we're back. Every year, liberals bemoan the prospect of having to talk to their families at Thanksgiving. And boy, do I get it. Logistically. Listen, there's always stories about how you're supposed to talk to your family about politics. I don't care if you talk to your family about politics. Maybe you have a hard conversation with an uncle about Trump, or maybe you're a coward. But that's not what we're doing tonight. This year, we're going to put politics aside and keep Table Talk limited to all the other parts of

modern life your family will ask you about. Here to help us explain to our mom who that guy was in that thing, you know, the one with the hair, it's the grateful Victoria Vincent and the appreciative Lizzie Cooperman. Hi. Come on out. Thank you. It's our distinct honor.

Hi, Lizzie. Hello. Hi, Victoria. Hi. Welcome. Thank you. Are either of you talks politics at Thanksgiving people?

Talks politics at Thanksgiving. I try not to be. Yeah. I want to get into it this year. Okay. I want the tension. You want it? I want the tension.

I want the stirring. The stirring. I feel like the way my family works is there's going to be one. We just got to do it and get it out of the way. It'll probably happen Wednesday. Family arrives. It's not even going to be at dinner.

It's going to be before we go to the restaurant. Someone's going to say Ibiza. Think someone said Gaza and we're off to the fucking races. You know what I'm saying? Someone's going to say Ibiza. Think someone said Gaza and we're off to the fucking races. You know what I'm saying? Someone's going to say Ibiza. Thought they said Ibiza.

All my friends are like, it's Ibiza. You have cool friends. Right. I mean, what can I say? No one in my house has ever said the word Ibiza. You're going to a restaurant for Thanksgiving? No, no. Like the night before.

Like when family gets into town. You're going to a restaurant? Go to a restaurant as long as we call ahead and make sure they can do peanut allergies. I have to say, LA also, I feel like people in LA, they treat Thanksgiving like it's like a party hopping holiday. Oh. You know?

Yeah, no, I know. So many parties. I have so many Thanksgiving parties to go to. I don't know what to do. Yes, it is like that. People will just like dip in. They're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to Janine's for turkey. And then I'm going to go to. I don't know what to do. Yes, it is like that. People will just like dip in. They're like, oh yeah, I'm going Janine's for turkey and then I'm going to go to Melissa's for dessert.

And it's like, Janine fisted a turkey for this. You're just going to dip in. You're just taking a swim in the gravy boat for a few minutes and that's it. Fisted? Is that part of it? Is that what you have to do with a turkey? That's how you get the stuffing in if you do it the right way. You know, like some people don't.

It is true. Here's the thing, because, like, my sister just told me this because she's annoying as hell, but she, uh, that there's a difference between stuffing and dressing. So the stuffing is the one that you stuff in the turkey. Maybe that's the term we took from it to create. We're going to make everything sexual if we can, but yeah,

that's, you stuff a turkey like you stuff your boyfriend. Like, when we stuff all of our collective boyfriends. Right. No, for sure. We all stuff them. It's an intimate exchange. That's why I don't I don't condone party hopping.

Have you ever spatchcocked a boyfriend? You know, I tried and that's how I became the first black female serial killer. I've been trying so hard to spatchcock someone. I'm the first black female serial killer. I've been trying so hard to dispatch cock someone. I do love that LA is the only place that I've been that has an aggressive amount

of the Thanksgiving horror movie billboards. Have you guys been seeing those? Why is there a Thanksgiving horror movie? Wasn't the horror Thanksgiving? Wow. I haven't seen the film. Is the antagonist there a turkey? The antagonist it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. Wow. I haven't seen the film. Is the antagonist there a turkey?

The antagonist, it has nothing to do with Thanksgiving. That's the thing. It's like, is it a Thanksgiving horror film or is it a horror film that takes place on Thanksgiving? It actually takes place on Black Friday, which is why it doesn't make sense either. Just make it a Black Friday horror movie. That's more realistic to me. Have you killed for a TV today? I have today.

I do know turkeys sleep in the trees what yes does anyone else does anyone else know okay she knows they sleep in the trees sleep in the trees how do they get up there oh yeah they can fly oh that's right they can fly a little bit yeah like the way that i can fly a little bit they jump and don't die immediately. They can fly a little bit. Yeah. Like the way that I can fly a little bit. They jump and don't die immediately. Yeah, they can fly a little bit the way that we can all jump. They sleep in the trees? Yes. I guess it's safer up there. Yeah. At least they have a bed frame. Unlike most guys.

It's safer up there because we're not up there. That's why it's safer. Right. When you need to escape your family, what does your holiday go to? I am addicted to two dots. Does anyone know what two dots is?

Like the game on your phone? I'm so embarrassed that I'm even... That's horrible to hear. I know I should be playing three dots. I am addicted to all the New York Times games, which someone once called Candy Crush for Nerds. It's just you get sucked into like fucking connections.

Yeah. Dude, connections has got me. It started during lockdown. I was like, oh, let me connect these two dots. And now I'm connecting thousands of dots. Your shirt has dots on them. You're connecting worlds. You're wearing dots on your clothes.

She's sponsored. Sponsored by two dots. I like to play The Sims. Yeah, because listen, I like to escape reality by creating family trauma for fake family. And if I'm never going to own a house in reality, I'm going to own five on the internet.

You can't do anything wrong with The Sims. Although I did see this one where this woman's vampire boyfriend had a wedding on a beach and the vampire boyfriend died. They make it real now. Sims 4, everybody. Go play it. It's really real. They're only up to four?

Because they keep making remixes. So a vampire was invited to this wedding? No, he was the groom. Okay. And because they had it during the day on a beach he died because of the venue yeah listen the Sims programmers are really on it they want you to make sure that you know that they're tuned in so like we're in Sims 8

we're living in it so this is Sims 8 that's Sims 4 Sims 8 is the first one that could run Sims 1 and then they've improved it over time in ways we can't notice. Because we're programmed not to. Exactly. They've introduced newer versions for us to play within the game to keep us occupied when they're doing other things. Don't take me down that road.

I will go down it. Are we a simulation? Is it better if I was a simulation? Actually, I think The Matrix sounds pretty good right now. I'll just be brain food for the internet. I don't think that's what that movie was about. I've never seen The Matrix sounds pretty good right now. I'll just be brain food for the internet. I don't think that's what that movie was about. I've never seen The Matrix, actually. What never made sense to me about The Matrix fundamentally is,

okay, you need to use an animal of some kind to be a battery, I guess, to turn food into warmth for your system here. Isn't it easier to make a society that's very believable to say pigs and cows? You know what I mean? Like they'll never figure it out. Lizzie and Victoria, I'm well-versed in political debate, but for my audience's edification, I'd love to have you warm them up for Thanksgiving table with a segment we're calling Talking Turkey with your cousin's weird boyfriend.

Here's how it works. Here's how it works. We have two hats. One has topics you might need to explain to your family members and the other has those family members themselves. We will draw from both and you will explain that specific topic to that specific family member. Okay?

So we have two hats here. Victoria, why don't you kick us off? Okay. You have two hats. Draw one from each hat and then you read what's in those hats and then you have 30 seconds to explain the topic to them. I love that these are also kind of one is a pilgrim hat. Is the other one a cop hat?

I believe it is, yes. Oof, that feels targeted. I think it's an old-timey sheriff hat. Okay, we like someone that's old-timey. That was when they were really good. Oh, my God. This one's great because I am a basic bitch. Hot girl walks is the topic.

And the person is my brother who opens conversations by asking everyone their deepest regret. My brother does do that, though. We're both really dark people. Actually, that's perfect, though, because, like, I should be able be able to be like hey you know how you've been having some dark times why don't you take a fucking walk well that's what a hot girl walk is right you just get out there and you let it all out and i would say my deepest regret is not taking that hot girl walk i think i wouldn't have yelled at that barista if i didn't take that hot girl walk gotta take a hot girl walk it's just when you're moving it's literally here's the thing i love that we've kind of given

everything names but it's just what your therapist told you to do 10 years ago it's like yeah go outside touch grass like be a human hot girl walks is like go outside and have a walk and it got really big during the pandemic because we were all pretty inside so it was like i'm gonna take a hot girl walk and for me it's a hot girl walk because physically i'm hot and sweating most of those girls are like oh we're so hot i'm like no i'm sweating physically i'm very hot right now that's what my hot girl walk is nice and i like to walk through my hot girl walks it's just beautiful because i live in a very white area of chicago and i just take those walks and to see those people cross the street is a really good time for me right i like to play old white lady frogger is what i call it oh you could try frogger

that's a great game play frogger okay yeah i don't play i definitely need to transition to frogger all right i'm going to frogger alright I'm going the cousin who you all decided to stop talking to and was not invited what is there to even watch now that young Sheldon is ending it's America's favorite show hey Derek it's

John I'm calling from the bathroom yeah I know we did do it We are all here everyone but you And I just wanted to See what you're going to watch Now that Young Sheldon is over It wasn't my decision like I think you're fine

I don't have any kind of problem with you I just think that like yes I hear that you're upset, but like it's Thanksgiving. You're not here. Do you think none of us were doing anything like this is kind of part of the problem with you? Like you don't think at all about like how you behave is infecting other people. And then when you're not called to be part of family events, you're upset. And then you're just a fucking downer. And it's just like, what are you bringing to the table, man? Why are you presuming that you get to be a part of fucking everything?

Like this is a give and this is a take. And like, it's not just, I'm not saying you have to bring something. I'm not saying it's because you didn't bring anything last year. It's not about not bringing something. I don't care if you bring fucking macaroni and cheese or not.

I'm talking, what are you bringing as a human being? Like, what are you bringing to the fucking table? Like, why would anyone want you? Stop, shut up. Stop crying. Stop fucking crying stop fucking crying stop crying i have enough going on with young sheldon ending i have victoria do another okay your aunt reeling from the revelation her boyfriend has an entire secret family

that's not my aunt that's just me um and the concept of riz okay you know how your boyfriend conned you into believing that he didn't have another family that That's Riz, baby. I love it. That's exactly right. Alright, I'm gonna go again. Okay. Your high school ex who your mom invited because they still keep in touch after the breakup. Yikes.

Quiet quitting. Oh. So you still talk to my mother even though we broke up 20 years ago you still are in touch oh it started because you both um played dots played two dots with each other. Okay. Thank you for normalizing it. That's fine. Well, quiet quitting is something that I'm going to be doing over the course of this holiday. And what that means is because I feel betrayed by my mother and disgusted by the sight of you,

I am going to be here. And on paper, I will have done everything I was asked to do. I will pick up the plates and I will move them to the kitchen. I will help you make the mashed potatoes. I will bring things to and from the table. I will participate in polite conversation. There's nowhere you would find on a list of things I was expected to do over the course of this holiday that I did not complete.

And yet, on some level, you will see that what I've done is nothing more than that. And the way that I've done it is just enough to make it so that you can't tell me I didn't do what I was supposed to do, but not so much as to make you happy that I was here. And that is what I say to you, mom, who's in touch with my ex-boyfriend from high school 20 some odd years later. I didn't have a boyfriend in high school. I didn't have anyone in high school. I feel you on that. And that's why I do this show. Yeah.

That was really good. Wow. Yeah. Quiet quitting. Yeah, I feel like every generation has to come up with a new way of making not giving a fuck about your job sound interesting. But yeah, it's literally like most jobs are not great. So quiet quitting is just, you know, it's hard to do when when you work in medicine but you can do it if you really want to but yeah i get it i'm quiet quitting right now i'm not doing too great you guys are doing you

guys are doing great i'm looking for one more for us to do together okay okay your aunt who regularly shells out more than a private college's tuition to keep her ancient, miserable pug alive. Girl dinner. Girl dinner. Oh. I can really relate to that one, because my aunt has a dog. Actually, she's had the same dog three times. She keeps getting the same exact dog,

and she keeps naming them after different words for the word black. So I'm just waiting until we get to the one. How many more dogs do you think it'll be until we're there? I have no idea. She's living long. She as a person is living pretty long. Barbara Streisand cloned her dogs.

Yes. Oh, no, it's not like that. She just keeps finding ones that are really relatable. But it's hot dinner, hot girl dinner? No, just girl dinner. Oh, girl dinner. I do love a good girl dinner. I had a piece of cheese before I came in here. Hell yeah. Right. Girl dinner, girl dinner. Oh, girl dinner. I do love a good girl dinner. I had a piece of cheese before I came in here.

Hell yeah. Right. Girl dinner, boy dinner. It's just sad fridge dinner. I just don't believe it needed to be gendered. It doesn't need to be gendered. Again, it comes back to just sad adult dinner. Yeah, just like the last of the carb.

It can be a tortilla chip. It can be a triscuit. It can be a wheat thin. The last of a hummus. The last of a cheese. I think that like the archetypal version, like there should be the three, the baby carrots, the sad. And by the way, we call them baby carrots. We're all such fucking fools.

They're just carrots cut to the shape of baby carrots. Don't take that away from me. Just let me have that. I thought that that was from a baby. I feel like I know I'm depressed when I buy baby carrots. It's the opposite for me. I'm like, girl, I'm about to eat healthy. I know I'm depressed when I don't put on music in my car.

Like I don't allow myself a full carrot. That's how I find out. You just drove to work in silence. That's how I figure it out. Oh, that's a good find out you just drove to work in silence that's how i figure it out oh that's a good way to figure out i've been doing that aggressively a lot or all the time don't you love to be alone with your thoughts um i think that the way i would explain it to her would just be like hey you know how you put everything out you know you're just not feeling it and sometimes you don't know what to do perhaps your dog wouldn't throw it up if you drizzle everything with honey. Or if you gave him a piece.

Are they allowed to have cheese? Yeah, they can have cheese. Oh, yeah. Dogs like string cheese and stuff like that. Us and me and dogs have that in common. We have some other things in common, but the string cheese, that's really the winner. I know. There's something very oppressive about calling it a girl dinner, too.

By kind of throwing away these kind of like snacks that like elves would consume, you know? I do think you're right, though. I think that it's a little bit aggressive for us. I mean, you already said it. It just needs to be late 20s, early 30s sadness dinner. Yeah. You can also be 41. That's fair. That's fair. You know what? Don't take away sadness from other

people. That is offensive on my part. Old people can be... You're not old and 41's not old. I should go. And you know what? This chair was about to fall off the back anyway, so we'll just let it happen. The world is on fire. Words on fire.

Ooh, Victoria, stop talking i want to talk about the dinner i'm gonna have tonight after this program wraps after we do the gratitude wheel and i'm filled with it uh i'm gonna go to my home and i'm gonna rip off a chunk of a gelson's chicken oh and this is a sad dinner i'm gonna take one Cheesecake Factory brand roll. They now sell at the supermarkets, which by the way, utterly capitalism. Yes. This is what you knew I'd be there. And I am here.

And by the way, I was like, I saw it at the Albertsons and I was like, good for Albertsons. Then I saw the Gelson's like Gelson's. That's a very specific supermarket thing. that's a very specific supermarket thing. But, but what's going to make this the saddest dinner of all, which is I'm going to cut off two pieces of pre-cut chocolate chip cookie dough. And that's going to be dessert. That's not even sad.

That's all. That all sounds beautiful. It's going to be every, every food on that plate will be some shade of beige. And that's how, you know, it's like such a good dinner. How long have you been planning this?

Since girl dinner came out of that hat. I think that that's actually not as sad's such a good dinner. How long have you been planning this? Since girl dinner came out of that hat. Since girl dinner, yeah. I think that that's actually not as sad as you think it is. I used to eat rotisserie chicken over a sink. And that's how you know, baby. You ever just get home and you can't even wait? You just get right out there and you take a leg, you just rip a leg off like you've never been a human being in your life. How can I break a bone like that?

Yeah. A supermarket roast chicken, the way you attack it is you don't acknowledge the anatomy of the bird. You just grab pieces at random parts of it. The thing should look like a coyote ate it. If you buy that chicken on a Monday, by Friday, it should look like there was an animal in your fridge. You know what I'm saying? It looks like a carcass. But we should all be taking our carcasses and framing them and hanging them.

Wow. All of them. Or a soup. Or a soup. But you know what? I honestly don't think that way. I just think about death. So that's fine.

A soup's good too, I guess. I've never made a soup. And that's why the soup's good too i guess i've never made a soup and that's talking turkey when we come back the gratitude wheel don't go anywhere this is love it or leave it and there's more on the way and we're back. Please welcome Allison back to the stage. Allison. Allison, join us. I'm being such a rude host, I should stand and say welcome.

Now it's time for the Gratitude Wheel. It's just the rant wheel, but it's nice things. Before we get to the Gratitude Wheel, the Love It or Leave It Error Store has one last swing. It's not a physical Cirque du Soleil swing like the one I requested, but we're still going to close this store out strong. Our final shows of the year are in Phoenix and Boulder on November 30th and December 2nd.

Get your tickets at cricket.com slash events. I think Boulder is there's like very few seats left for Boulder. Some seats left for Phoenix, but they're going. So get those tickets. Also, we're excited to announce Inside 2024, our new monthly podcast series available exclusively for Friends of the Pod subscribers. The show is a chance to hear White House alums talk about what really goes on behind the scenes of a presidential campaign. Everything from debate prep and convention speeches to campaign ads and botched media appearances. To get access to Inside 2024, join our community over at Friends of the pod by signing up at crooked.com

slash friends. A lot of good stuff over there. All right. And this week on the gratitude wheel, we have the joy of minding your own business. We have public libraries, Biden's emails. We have whatever I'm grateful for.

We have time off. We have Matt Dallas from Kyle X XY seems to be thriving on his farm with his husband and kids. Miniatures and spiders because they eat pests and get a bad rap. Let's spin the gratitude wheel. Biden's emails. I can't even believe it. Biden's emails I can't even believe it Biden's emails

is anyone on his email list was anyone when he was running for president yes the subject lines are so intimate it was like my only sense of connection at the time but I want him to run again because I miss the subject lines

it would be all lowercase and it would be like I need you, Elizabeth. This is from Joseph Robin at Biden. It would be like, Elizabeth, please. One of his subject lines said, need $5.

I'm like, what happened to you, baby? Do you need to ride home from the bus stop? Is Jill signing off on this? One of his email subject lines, it was about Saturday night. Damn. He's like, that normally never happens to me it usually works just fine I'm like you can't just go from

zero to a hundred with me Joe you don't even know my Lyme disease story you can't just jump into being my boyfriend so I'm grateful for the emails and I'm excited for him to run again because I need that intimacy. I need that connection.

Yeah. Yeah. And I hope you get it. I really hope I do too. I hope you get it. I hope I do. Let's spin it again. It has landed on time off. Time off, y'all. I am so grateful for time off because when else am I going to have the time to really spiral about all the work I should be doing

if not during all of the time off? I'm really excited to finally have a minute to sit alone with my thoughts and really freak out i love time off because it means you get to see your family you know which is uh traditionally a really happy easygoing not stressful thing that we as a culture enjoy we as a culture enjoy seeing our family. And I love seeing my family. And when else am I finally going to have time to sleep in, only to be woken up by my mom at 6 a.m. talking about Coles Cash and Josh Groban because she's white.

You don't have to be white to do that. I love Coles Cash. I thought you were going to say you love Josh Groban. And I was like, hell yeah. I can't take that. Who don't actually? I love Time Off. Yeah.

Time Off. Let's spin it again. It has landed on miniatures there's something so satisfied does anyone else like miniatures yeah i like thank you uh like you can create miniature scenes like like for families but you do it at home with yourself now it's just like i'm obsessed with one i'm obsessed with miniatures for myself i make miniatures at home because I'm just making my way slowly to becoming a full serial killer. And then the biggest thing I love is watching people make miniatures. And then if you're online enough, there's actually people who do miniature cooking. Yes.

It's very satisfying because it's one. There's nothing involved in reality. Right. So it's just like this fun thing that has no undertone other than I've spent a lot of money on it. And maybe I should think about that. Like I told my therapist how much money I was spending on miniatures. And she's like, do you really think that's a good use of your money? And I said, you're not a good use of my money.

And that's how we're here today, baby. You became a stand-up comic because, but i do i there's something about it i i have tried to talk through therapy about why i love miniatures and oversized things so i i go to a lot of those places of world's largest i'm trying to get to all of them i just want to either be a giant or a tiny little baby i think it's interesting that you love miniatures you love the sims like some level, you want to build a world and be a god of it. And I think that's a cool thing to watch. Listen, I think you're the first person to ever diagnose it.

You're the therapist now. It's a god complex. I control it. I made a garden shed the other day and then I accidentally smashed it because I put it on the floor. That's a god. I don't know anything about therapy. I used to go to therapy and then I replaced it with a podcast recording because we got to do more content.

So now I do what a weekday instead of therapy. That's real. That second episode, that went in the therapy slot and now I just talk too long in meetings about myself. And that's how you do it. Listen, that's what you should be doing i'm talking

about myself or the miniature world that i'm building what's the point in living you know and family's good too but you know during the pandemic the amount of money i spent on miniatures and macrame kits is aggressive um what's macrame is that the string yep lots to do it's string that's it it shouldn't be that expensive it's string what is the the lost language

of like the Inca or the Aztecs that was also string let's spin it again. It has landed on what I'm grateful for, and I'm grateful for two things. One, I'm grateful for whoever is going back through Ina Garten's catalog of TV shows and cutting down her old recipes

into TikTok digestible videos. I am not on maybe Osama bin Laden had some points TikTok. I am on Ina Garten TikTok. It's a safer and happier place to be. I prefer it for a variety of reasons. The reason I like old Ina Garten recipes is it feels like it's from another era of not just cooking, but of society. These final products don't look that amazing. They look very much like the thing you could make at home, like just like a person, like making potatoes. Like that just looks like a person who had potatoes and chicken. And then she always says like, that's the key to making it flavorful. She calls everything flavorful

and she adds things to make them flavorful. But it seems like what she just adds is salt and pepper. I think she's just talking about her marriage. And on some level- She's always like, Jeffrey's gonna love this. She's always slowly unbuttoning like a white button.

I've really tried to start a petition for Ina after dark and it's not really getting there. But'm sure. I've really tried to start a petition for Ina after dark and it's not really getting there but I agree it's always sexual. Something else is happening with these potatoes au gratin behind the scenes She does make it seem like everything is everything

like it's the most amazing thing but you're right Listen I'm not trying to be that person but maybe it's because sometimes when it comes to white people seasoning salt and pepper seems like a lot. I watched her make, she said it called it a one dish chicken and potatoes recipe, but it wasn't. The point I wanted to make is I'm grateful for those videos because they make it seem achievable. You know what I mean? Well, that's what all those videos,'s why tiktok or any platform is hard it makes

everything seem like you can do it you we shouldn't be doing it okay those people have like a sound studio in their home and i would love to be an influencer who just makes food and decorates their house for their dog um but it's harder than you think. Making food and dogs are hard. But she made something called her famous chicken salad. And as far as I can tell, it was just the most normal of chicken salads.

And I find that to be inspiring. The second thing I want to say is that I was like, oh, that's just, you mean chicken salad, just like the most basic, like, oh, you know what she always says,

which I think has become a curse. You need a really good chicken. Get a start with a really good roast. So you want to start with a really good olive oil. Well, like, sure. Yeah. Like, of course. Second point I want to make is I just want to say before the pandemic, I didn't totally appreciate how great an opportunity I got to do these shows on the road. And I was so sad when they were gone. And I just want to thank everybody listening who has come to all of these amazing live shows that we've done all across the country, doing so many in a row and getting to do them in such a concentrated way, like makes it feel like we've been on this one long tour. And I think we've figured out how to do these shows

in a way that makes them feel really fun, but also helps me feel really connected to everybody that's listening. And I just wanted to say to everybody listening who's coming out, that I'm really grateful for you to being part of this community. And I wanted to take a moment to thank the team

that has worked so hard over the last few months that we have all really, they have given so much to make sure that like when we're on the road every single show is as good as it could possibly be and like there was somebody that came up to the stage in charlottesville and they said i think they said it to you brian right like hey like thank you guys for really bringing it like wherever we're going we're trying to do the best show we can and i'm really grateful to the whole team that's making that possible because it wouldn't be possible

without all the people that work on this show. And we're about to have our first week off. So eat shit. No show Tuesday. No show next Saturday. You'll be fucking fine.

But I just want to say thank you to everybody who listens and for everybody who makes the show happen. When we come back, I don't even have a joke. And I don't know,

can Ida Garden even cook? When we come back, does she even know what she's fucking doing in there? And when we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. And now because we all need it. Here it is this week's high note.

I love it. My name is Elizabeth turbo. And my high note of the week was hearing Matt Rogers, who I absolutely adore as Brad turbo this week. My real last name is Turbo, and I just need you to know that within the Turbo family, there are a few real Brad Turbos. This character always makes me and my husband laugh out loud, so thanks again for having Matt Rogers on. Hey, Lovett and Reva. This is Tim from Sacramento. I'm an environmental scientist with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, and I'm on strike along with the rest of the state scientists throughout California.

That's not my high note. It's unfortunate that it's come to this, but we've been without a contract for three years as the Newsom administration has been slow-walking us, assuming that we wouldn't notice. Well, we noticed. My high note is just how it's been so inspiring to see my fellow state scientists bring the passion and energy to supporting each other that they always bring

to protecting the natural resources of this state. These are great selfless people who do the work because they care, not for money. That doesn't mean we should have to live paycheck to paycheck, and we're fighting back. So a quick pitch, listeners in California, announce the time to give Governor Newsom's office a call and let him know it's time to put his money where his mouth is. He really wants California to lead the policy based on science. It has to start with supporting California scientists. Thanks, Lovett.

Hey, Lovett. This is Maddie calling from New York, but originally from North Carolina. And my high note is that when I clicked to the Lovett or Lovett episode entitled Pence's Christmas Miracle, the first thing I heard was my own voice. Okay, so you know how in Frasier

there's a new season now streaming on Paramount+. I did the voiceovers for the audio spots promoting the new Frasier, and one of them opened up the episode. And hearing my voice on the show was an out-of-body experience and made me feel really happy and proud of myself. So thanks for letting me be a part of the show. And for all that you do, new season now streaming on Paramount Plus. Hi, I love it. Hi, team. My name is Leslie. And my high note is that as part of last week's great Ohio election results, my wife and her co candidates who are brilliantly dubbed a triple threat to the status quo, when their campaigns for village council, we're a small community, about 3400 people in the greater Cincinnati metropolis,

and our current council is two-thirds male and all-thirds cishet and white. At the last council meeting, men spoke for an hour and 20 minutes and women for three minutes and 57 seconds. Back in March, two councilmen argued against funding a Juneteenth celebration based on them disagreeing with its historical significance and comparing it to, quote, other special interest groups like St. Patrick's Day, Oktoberfest, or Breakfast with Santa. So what started as an effort to organize a response, including demonstrating support for

the Juneteenth event, turned into a campaign that now covers equity, access, belonging, and justice through economic development, housing and tenant rights, code reform, senior services, and youth and community programming. It's so amazing. Charlotte, Brittany, and Melody ran a people-first, values-rooted campaign that never wavered in its focus or its integrity. And as of this December, the council will now be five, six women and one-third queer, including an amazing Black queer woman and PhD candidate. They are smashing the patriarchy one village at a time. And I could not be more proud. Thank you to everybody who shared a high note tonight.

If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, please call us at 3, 2, 3, 5, 3, 8, 2,

3, 7, 7. That is our show. Thank you so much to Victoria, Vincent, Alison Reese, and Lizzie Cooperman.

There are 352 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great weekend, and thanks for coming out. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer. And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, Peter Miller, and Alan Pierre are our writers. Lee Eisenberg produces the show. It's mixed and edited by Evan Sutton. Thank you. can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producer, Zuri Ervin, David Toles, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those

glorious videos at youtube.com slash at loveitorleaveitpodcast. Do us a favor and subscribe to Love It or Leave It on YouTube, and don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram and Twitter. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. you