Lovett or Leave It - Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Gutfeld

Episode Date: September 20, 2025

Pretty nice First Amendment you've got there. Would be a shame if something were to happen to it. Trump’s FCC comes for Jimmy Kimmel, and Disney rolls out the red carpet. Michaela Watkins and Colton Dunn set their brains to “rot” to talk Hunting Wives, James Gandolfini, political acceptance speeches, and how drunk our Drunk Histories really got. Colton loses his shoes, but we all win, with a rousing game of Was I In This?, and we give our aging faves their flowers now, before they're pushing up daisies.Get tickets to LOLI NYC & more upcoming shows at Crooked.com/events.Get tickets to CROOKED CON November 6-7 in Washington, D.C at crookedcon.com.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Love or leave it is brought to you by the freedom from Religion Foundation. The First Amendment protects all of our rights to practice whatever faith we have or the right to not have any faith at all. And yet what we see is a lot of politicians trying to impose their worldview and their religion on everybody. That includes in the public schools. We've seen that in Louisiana with a law around school chaplains and putting 10 commandments in the classroom that's currently held up in court, though we have no idea what the

Supreme Court will do. And so if you believe that people should be free to practice whatever religion they want without the government impinging on it or free to not practice any religion at all, that's where the freedom from religion foundation comes in to help do what a lot of lawmakers aren't defending the First Amendment, they sue, they win, and they're making sure kids can focus on science class and that public schools aren't turned into religious Sunday schools. go to ffrr.us slash school or text love it. That's L-O-V-E-T-T to 5-11-5-11. Visit F-F-R-F at F-F-R-F-R-F-F-S slash school or text L-O-V-E-T-T to 5-Eleven. Because if I'm going to live by the Ten Commandments, I'm going to do it on private property, not government property. That's where I do all my coveting, John. That's where I do all my... That's where you break all your other commandments. Yeah, that's where I take the Lord's name in vain the most.

Remember, text Love It to 511-5-11, or go to F-F-R-F-R-F-U-S-S-S-S-Sash school, or text L-O-V-E-T-T-T-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-L-E-L-E-L-E-L-E-L-E-L-U-W. Welcome to Love-It or Leave It Live from Dynasty Typewriter. We have got a great show for you tonight. Michaela Watkins is here. Colton Dun is here. and they'll both ask two important questions, was I in this, and was it worth it? Then we'll all head to the wheel to pay tribute to some of our favorite stars of your.

But first, let's get into it. What a week. On Tuesday, Donald Trump and his legal wife, Melania Trump went across the pond to the world's second most famous island of pedophiles, Great Britain. The first lady and worst man met with King Charles and Queen Camilla, Windsor,

where Melania debuted a brand new look. For those at home, she's wearing a big purple hat that often obscured her face completely on loan from the Queen's private spirit Halloween collection. It's obviously a joke. It's from Eileen Fisher's new collab with David Cronenberg. While at Windsor, Trump shared some poignant remarks at a state dinner.

I believe we're the hottest country. anywhere in the world. In fact, nobody's even questioning it, but we owe so much of that to you and the footing that you gave us when we started. King Charles spit out soup when he heard that. And he wasn't even

having soup. That's just what's in British people's mouths. Trump also took the opportunity to celebrate some of the UK's best. Shakespeare and Dickens and Tolkien, Lewis, Orwell and Kipling, credible people, unbelievable people like we have rarely seen before, probably won't see again.

I'll defend him when he's right, but would he do the same for me? And I know I'll get shit for this, but I'll say it. Tolkien in the same league as Shakespeare and Orwell, oh, sure, you fucking dweeps. Oh, really? Oh, really? You think that's right? You think that's right? Shakespeare painted. with the English language in ways previously unimaginable or well, with rigor and clarity helping us to understand the tools by which we obliterate our own humanity. And then you have Tolkien, who taught us that the little ones

have hair on their feet and eat a lot of sandwiches, but in a language he made up. Deal with it. Cancel me, Brandon Carr. I hate the Lord of the Rings. Fucking dog shit. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, the ring makes you invisible, but it also does other stuff. The little ones are sweet,

the tall ones are kind of mean. Which are the Jews in Lord of the Rings? Rudyard Kipling was perfect, though. No notes. He was racist. He wrote some really racist stuff. You know? In the original text of the junk.

book is not so sweet. It wasn't just the pomp and circumstance Trump enjoyed about monarchy for back at home, his administration began to lay out how in the wake of Charlie Kirk's gruesome murder, the government would begin a wider crackdown on dissent. Here was Stephen Miller earlier this week. With God is my witness, we are going to use every resource we have at the Department of Justice, Homeland Security, and throughout this government

to identify, disrupt, dismantle, and destroy these networks. and make America safe again for the American people. It will happen, and we will do it in Charlie's name. As of this recording, we have seen no evidence to suggest that Kirk's murderer wasn't acting alone. According to the transcript, released as part of the investigation, he may have been motivated by his love for a trans person, which fills me with an incredible amount of rage

because whatever we learn in the coming days, this guy was too demented or stupid to appreciate the consequences of his actions, which orphaned two children and fueled a crackdown while making life worse for every trans person in America, not least of whom is the person he was texting and claiming to love, who, according to Utah's Republican governor, had no idea what Robinson was planning and has been cooperating fully. And I'll say here, as we learn more, we should not be the least bit reluctant to confront the truth of this killer's motivations.

If the shooter wanted to kill Charlie Kirk for being right wing or holding anti-trans views, then we should be as appalled and unabashed in acknowledging that as when political violence targets the left, we've seen voice, yes, because we've seen voices on the right smear half the country for this killing, claiming that this was a war of the left. But that is false, and to do anything other than scream from the rooftops that this person does not speak for us is to act just a little bit like you've internalized the rights logic. J.D. Vance went further in that conversation with Stephen Miller. So when you see someone celebrating Charlie's murder, call them out in hell. Call their employer. But J.D. There are thousands of people making gross jokes on the internet all the time.

There are too many. How can we make a difference? Ah, said Vance, picking up a starfish. and getting it fired from its job as a community college administrator, it made a difference to this one. The number of people understood that analogy and that story was not as many in the meeting as I wanted to be. How many people know the starfish thing? That's so interesting. How many people know it, like it's the back of your hand,

feel like you've heard it a million times? and how do you've never heard that before in your life wow so there's a mother and daughter walking down the shore and the mother and the daughter starts looking around like all these starfish are going to die what are we going to do there's we can't help them all and the mother picks one up and throws it in the ocean and says made a difference to that one huh right anyway attorney general pam bondi promised to do more than just get you fired for offensive comments on katie miller's podcast or this week. There's free speech, and then there's hate speech. And there is no place, especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie, in our society. We will absolutely target you,

go after you if you are targeting anyone with hate speech. Are you a black square on Instagram in June of 2020? Because I think you're caught up in the moment and not really helping anybody. Sure. Pam Bondi also said this to Fox News. And employers, you have an obligation to get rid of people. You need to look at people who are saying horrible things. And they shouldn't be working with you.

Businesses cannot discriminate. If you want to go in and print posters with Charlie's pictures on them for a vigil, you have to let them do that. We can prosecute you for that. No, you can't. You have to print posters? What's next? Demanding a baker bake a cake with Charlie's picture on it?

Demanding a baker, bake a cake. for your special event honoring Charlie Kirk and then the baker objects because he's gay but also way more extreme than Charlie Kirk ever was forcing this paranoid, anti-Semitic gay baker to bake a cake that doesn't agree with his politics? And there are these starfish all over the place. Bondi actually faced enough blowback

for her comments from the right that she walked it back restricting her view to hate speech that contains threats. But King Baby wasn't so troubled. And what do you make Pam Bondi saying she's going to go after her hate? speech? Is that, I mean, a lot of your allies say hate speech is free speech. You probably go after people like you because you treat me so unfairly. It's hate. You have a lot of hate in your heart. Maybe they'll come after ABC. Well, ABC paid me $16 million recently

for a form of hate speech, right? Your company paid me $16 million for a form of hate speech. So maybe they'll have to go after you. Please know, take this instead, said Disney's panic Lawyer is pushing a confused George Stephanopoulos out of a suburban. But cooler heads soon prevailed, like Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt. There can be no unity between good and evil. Somebody has to win this thing. And as a country, we have to absolutely reject it. And don't tell me, it's both sides.

This system lurks behind every radical leftist movement in our nation today. the George Soros Empire has financed a vast ecosystem of radicals. Yet here I am every week, unequivocally denouncing political violence and trying to find new and funny ways to describe Trump's hands for a pretty good audience of liberals who can barely organize the totes piling up in their closets, let alone a vast radical empire. We have never, none of us, ever, ever, needed more than two toots.

Ever, I cannot think of an occasion in my life where any of us have ever needed more than two totes. Because if you ever need three totes, you go to duffel and tote. You never need more than two totes, and yet to get rid of a tote is unthinkable. And then it was Jimmy Kimmel's turn in the barrel.

After the Kirk murder, Kimmel said this. We're like the rest of the country, we're still trying to wrap our heads around the senseless murder of the popular podcast. and conservative activist Charlie Kirk yesterday, whose death has amplified our anger, our differences. And I've seen a lot of extraordinarily vile responses to this from both sides of the political spectrum. Some people are cheering this, which is something I won't ever understand. You get a job on a game show as the goofy every man to make Ben Stein seem even weirder.

Next thing you know, you're trying to deftly handle a political assassination on your late-night comedy program. But he did it. But then, on Monday, he said this. We hit some new lows over the weekend with the MAGA gang desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered Charlie Kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it. Because there was evidence by Monday that the killer, while growing up in a Republican home, was not MAGA, conservatives already hostile toward Kimmel let Rip.

On Wednesday, FCC chair and guy who would definitely shut down the containment grid and then blame the Ghostbusters for the consequences. this friend in Carr issued an ultimatum. Frankly, when you see stuff like this, I mean, look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. As a rule, if you are a federal regulator and you sound like Judge Doom holding a terrified shoe

over a barrel of dip, you are not the hero in this story. And by the way, lest there be any doubt, Carr didn't leave it at that ominous but vague warning that he was using the leverage over licensing to threaten a specific show and a specific disfavored comedian. Here's what he said next. These companies can find ways to change conduct to take action, frankly, on Kimmel, or, you know, there's going to be additional work for the FCC ahead. And he described what that work was, because it included the possibility of fines or

licensed revocation. Within hours, ABC announced that Jimmy Kimmel Live would be preempted indefinitely, suspending the show after Nextar, owner of 28 ABC affiliates said it wouldn't air Kimmel. It is with a heavy heart that I say, Jimmy Kimmel, welcome to podcasting. In a statement, Next Star criticized Kimmel's comments and promised to replace the show

with other programming in its ABC-affiliated markets. Worth noting, NextDAR is currently pursuing a merger that requires approval by the FCC. Once they acquire their largest rival, Tegna, it will own 265 stations in 44 states, which reaches 80% of American.

households. Look, sometimes a bad thing has to be done in the service of an even worse thing. Anyway, I'm looking forward to a whole bunch of Republican-friendly comedies on ABC with new shows like The Big Bang Theory is wrong. Maude keeps the baby. Fresh off and right back on the boat. Abbott Charter Elementary. Mork and Mindy and ICE Perfect Strangers and Ice and Roseanne

Plus stay tuned for ABC's upcoming miniseries Roots 2, not so bad And hey, Brendan Carr If it's cinema you're after, Disney has got you covered with live action Mulan But she's a girl the whole time And leaves the fighting to the men

starring Sidney Sweeney Luca, too. Luca reels in a wife. Bambi from the hunter's point of view. And, and I'm excited for this one, White and Canto. Trump wrote about it on true social, saying,

Great News for America, the ratings challenge Jimmy Kimmel's show is canceled. Congratulations to ABC for finally having the courage to do what had to be done. Kimmel had Z. Zero talent and worse ratings than even Colbert, if that's even possible. That leaves Jimmy and Seth, two total losers on fake news NBC. Their ratings are also horrible.

Do it, NBC. Do it. Like he's trying to get Don La Langley to chug a beer. And then on the plane, he suggested to reporters that these companies lose their license for being, in his words, 97% against him. It is a classic in the genre of Trump, which is a bunch of these. intellectual, Zambonies, conservatives who try to figure out a way to defend Trump's actions, spent the day explaining that this was really about Kimmel's inaccuracy and how it was

actually a business decision and that while Carr's comments may have been in some way unwise or unhelpful, it was not a violation of the First Amendment because it was a decision by the affiliates. And then Trump is like, two down, two to go, bitches. They're all against me. Fuck them up, NBC. Sinclair Broadcasting Group also pulled Kimmel from their ABC. stations. They demanded Kimmel apologize. They demanded he donate to Kirk's nonprofit, Turning Point USA, and announced that a Charlie Kirk in-memorium special will air during Kimmel's time slot on Friday. Wow. A special tribute on every station. They'll probably

do this for me when I go, said Joe Biden. No one having no one having the heart to tell him that they might not even break into commercial. And finally, this week, a mom of two set a Guinness World Record for longest barefoot run on Lego bricks. When reached for comment, the woman said, ow, my feet. That's it. It's a dark week of news. You want to know, you want a serious clothes? That's it.

Rending on the fucking Lego joke. Deal with it. Coming up next, it's Michaela Watkins and Colton Dunn. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It is brought to you by. Indicloud. You made it through work traffic in the group chat that just won't quit. Indicloud is how you make the rest of the night yours again. Indicloud makes federally legal

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free shipping and a better mood showing up right to your door. Take their quick survey when you order to support this show and thank IndyCloud for making September feel a little lighter. As always, please enjoy responsibly. Huge thanks to IndyCloud for sponsoring today's episode. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage, two people. like to see in a steamy Netflix drama about bisexual Texas socialites, it's Michaela Watkins

and Colton Dunn. Hi, welcome. Good to see you. Hi. Hi, hi. Thank you both for being here. Boy, it's lovely to see you. That's great to see you. Michaela. Yes. You can best to me that you look like the show, Hunting Lives. Okay. You know what? That was setting. Confidence. No. Like is an interesting word. Is it? Yeah. Hmm. It's complicated. I have a complicated relationship with this show, but what I have to say about this show is the show got me thinking a lot about the show because everything else I don't

want to think about. And so I realized I need to defend this show. And not because I like it, but because I think it's worthy of defense. Interesting, so it's more of an intellectual exercise. Yes. But you watch every episode. I sure did. It's been the butt of a lot of jokes.

Because it stars women. It's, well, it stars women in, you know, and they're talk about the wigs, and they, you know, it's women. It's MAGA women. It's MAGA women having sex with each other. And it's, um... Oh, now you're interested.

Okay. Yeah, that's what these freaks are, that's what these freaks are putting in their porn herb searches. Exactly. Girl and girl maga. Yeah, that's right. They're not laughing because... It's true. I nailed it.

But anyway, so it stars Malin Ackerman, who is a wonderful, wonderful human being, a great actress, a huge talent, and just generally a light. when you see somebody and you're like, oh, I feel better. Everything's going to be fine. That's how it is to be around people from Sweden. Truly. And so I'm watching this, and I'm like, Malin kind of,

you know, like in the best way, what were you thinking? And what I realized with each actress that was coming on, the show, okay, let's be honest, and I can say this to Malin, the show is trashy, it's like,

It's like, it's brain candy. It's like what reality shows wish they were. This is you defending the show. Yeah. 100%. Because if I don't tell you the truth, you're going to not believe me later when I say the important thing, which is... A lesson for Democrats that we're living in the wreckage of, yep.

Which is that these actors have been done real dirty by their networks because, you know, the acting climate right now is pretty it's chilly it's it's brisk there's just not a ton of work right now and so it took like this show that was meant to be on stars network that raise your hand if you have a stars subscription nobody not one so it was meant to go there they go on that show they get paid a nice sum they go to georgia they shoot this thing they take their clothes off they put a lot of bronzer on And then they tell their agents, is this going to ruin my brand? I don't know if this is true. I've never discussed this with Malin, but this is my, this is when I say, I think about it a lot.

This is what I'm thinking about. They say, oh, just do this job. Because honestly, in this climate, if you don't have stars, you're never going to see it. A lot of people, like, you know who I use as my, sort of my beacon of like, should I do this? I always go back to, oh, what's her name, from, okay, she's, she was on West Wing, she's tall. Alice and Janie, mom. Thank you.

I always, Alice and Janie is like the career that I want. She doesn't say no to anything. And you only remember the great stuff that she's done. And she's done a lot of, like, really cruddy things, not in life. shows. And so I think like, okay, we're now in that time where you can do something stupid. Nobody's going to see it. And you're fine. And then you can go back and do your Oscar stuff. So I think they got these actors. They put it on stars. Stars at the very last minute says, we're not going to air this. So Netflix picks it up. And it becomes the number one watched show. So now they're in

bronzer in Georgia, you know. That's their brand now. Yeah. I don't know that I've ever met an actor who's like, God, I wish this wasn't the number one show. It would be a first. It's exciting. I mean, maybe they wish they hadn't showed, you know, Tatas, but whatever. Number one with Tatas is better than number 30, no Tatas. Listen, they've got number one Tatas.

Number one Tatas. They are great. They are beautiful women and they're great actors. So I start watching this thing, you know, to support Malin, because I'm kind of curious, because there's a lot of chatter about it and because I happen to be in Atlanta for two weeks in a hotel room with no friends. So I start watching it and I'm like, oh boy. And then the acting you guys is good because they have really good actors. They have great actors. All the actresses on it are amazing. And I hope if any of them are listening to this, they stay listening to it long

enough to know that they are so good. Like, maybe you come for the, for the hype about it and the tattas, but you stay for the, for the really quality acting with really questionable material going. I mean, it seems like you found a trashy show that you love and you built a cathedral of ideas to sit inside it to appreciate the show. Is that bad? No, it's totally fine. I've come, so Colton, do you have a trashy show

that you watch a kind of brain escape show? A brain rot. Yeah. Emma cruises on YouTube. It's a cruise tube show, and Emma goes on different cruises. She gives you her review. Emma, who? This lady named Emma.

She's this British lady. And she's like, all right, I'm on another cruise today. She's all, I'm off, you know, in another holiday. And she, like, kind of reviews the room and all that kind of stuff. But her big thing, her big thing is whether or not they have Diet Coke on the cruise She's a big Diet Coke fan

And here's the thing And some of you guys Maybe maybe some of you understand it I didn't get a lot of people who watch it Don't get it She does not like Fountain Diet Coke She only wants Diet Coke From the bottle

Oh well glass bottle I get I mean there's something about No it's like plastic bottle Dog shit that's dog shit There's an interesting thing About the fountain Because the question is Are you, do you want to fail while daring greatly

Or do you want to sit in the safety of the can? Because you know what you're going to get in the can. Found on a cruise. It's a ratio. It's luck and happenstance. But when you strike it right. Oh, my God, that's so good. Sometimes if, if you, maybe that salt air gets, you know,

somehow chemically, you know, dances with the syrup. Yeah. And the soda water. part. Yeah. And then you could have a fail or you could have victory. That's right. Yeah. Taste of the ocean. Yeah. It's like they say pizza in New York tastes better because of the water. Exactly. It's why the fountain drinks on a boat. It tastes great. Because of the water. Because the water. The distilled water that sits in a giant steel tank in the bottom. In their lines. We live in the blissful ignorance of what's going on inside of these soda.

guns these soda guns like the number of people i see that like wouldn't need a cookie off the floor that are like diet coke please and just trusting god in the end of that fucking nozzle are you are you insane i mean you're trusting the one guy who finishes the night and takes it apart and is supposed to wipe it out nice and clean think about how you're supposed to take care of your coffee maker at home yeah and that's just for you by you And maybe you do better than if it was your job. Yeah. But you don't do great.

No. You do good enough, and you pray that it's fine. And if it starts to taste weird, you fix it. You get different coffee. Now imagine you never drank that coffee even once, and it was the only coffee you made for strangers. You can eat the cookie off the floor. The inversion is Guinness, right?

People don't want it in the can. They want it on tap. Oh, yeah. You can get a bad batch, though. I mean, a bad nitrous amount. Guys, can we go back to hunting? Yeah, let's get back to it. I don't know what it is.

Oh, can I get a summary of what? It's a reality show meets a soap opera. It's a drama with reality show vibes and pacing. It's got reality. Everybody is, everybody is gorgeous. Everybody is hot. There's drama. Somebody's like, but it's all takes place in Texas.

Here's the wig, Malinacharman, where it's at the beginning of the show. Okay. Now, is this the show that I saw like the, I saw a hairstylist on social media who was upset about production leaving California because of how bad the wigs are. And they were like, if they would have just shot this show in L.A., the wigs would all be better. Wigs are expensive. So that's the first thing I'm going to say. Let's go to week number two. This budget is not good.

But also. Goo. So here's the thing. If you know Mollen and you know what her actual hair looks like, she would never pay. past. She would always look like a gorgeous, a gorgeous, Swedish supermodel. But here she has to be a kind of like Texas, a Texas girl knows how to shoot a gun and all that. And so I understand why they had to wig her. Now, do you watch, like, Fox News? Do you see what the hair on there looks like? Like, it does not look real. I think this is actually a wonderful rendition.

That's an interesting take that it's meant to convey a certain inauthenticity and it's not a it's not something well done poorly it's something poor done well. Colton. Yeah.

You're gonna show me a wig? No. Oh, okay. I didn't do wig. I don't have a wig on. I would have, but then I got a hair transplant. And then I got two more. I'm at three.

Was it? Wait, wait, where else? No, no, all on the head. Oh, okay. Or did you mean for your friends? I got one and then they gave me two free. Look, look, I needed, I wanted a masculine asshole. Yeah.

I felt like I can't be walking around with this, this feminist, feminine, yeah, it's embarrassing. I wanted to be masculine. Yes. So the doctor had never done it before. It's the first of its kind. Yeah. They've said, wow, we've gone from the asshole to the head before. But we've never gone down that way.

Michaela, you're in Hacks. Yes. And Hannah Eindler won the Emmy, and she gave a brief but attention-grabbing speech. And she stole that from you. That was your speech. How'd you won? That was what happened? Honestly, like, hats off to her, really.

She said a lot of really wonderful things. But you'll never hear that because the only clip that actually got played and played and played was she said, go birds, fuck, guy, it's free Palestine. And apparently, like, everybody was clutching their pearls after that. And I was like, how are we living in a world where that's the shock? Meanwhile, masked men are roving the streets of L.A. and everywhere else in this country and kidnapping people and shoving them in vans and breaking up families and putting them in detention camps that, you know, our elected officials are now getting arrested because they're not allowed to go in respect. Like, why is that? Like, I'm talking about, like, Hollywood colleagues, liberals, you know,

who are just like, ooh, you know. And so, again, I guess I'm here to defend the ladies. I, I was like, yes, good. But then Homeland Security actually put out a statement about it because nothing makes them more upset than millennials winning a prize for. a comedy on HBO and they said something like what she said was ugly it's ugly be a lady and then said something like when violence against ice officials is up 1,000 percent she is you know that this little redhead on stage is like inciting violence against these this marginal group of ice ice officials who are so marginalized that really they are the only ones who should be able to receive a, you know, free, free college. That's really it because they're so living on the

fringes of our society. And I just was like the way, the gymnastics of twisting that, like, and they do it consistently. They keep stealing really sensible responses to the horrible evil things that happen in the world, and then adapting them and adopting them for themselves, as you know, and just saying, like, you know, anti-Semitism is way up, you know? Islamophobia is way up. Like, now we're just like, oh, gosh, but let's hold space for the ICE officials, you know, as if they didn't have a choice. Yeah, I mean, the, it's trolling.

You know, the, it's the same as with Brendan Carr. it's a culture of trolling, right? And now they troll with power. They use their power to troll too, right? Like, Trump is a troll. That's what he's doing when he tells ABC News, oh, to Jonathan Crowley, like, you have hate in your heart, and maybe I'll come after you. He's trolling.

But they also back it up with, like, the force of the state now. Yeah, exactly. Which is why you can't be scared about it. Which is why you got, that's how they win. They win by getting all the people to clutch their pearls. This thing says, free Palestine. there's nothing wrong with saying that. If you're out there, you're worried about people from Palestine,

and you want that to be free, you want them to have a better life, there's nothing wrong with that. And they have, like, created this world where they say, well, if you say that, you're anti-Semitic, no, you're not. If you say that, you're, you know, you're a bad person. No, you're not. And you just have to push back 100% on that. And you can't let them scare you.

You can't be quiet. You can't go, oh, well, we shouldn't say anything. because if you don't, we see what happens when you keep giving them inches. Yeah, that's right. But the birds, do not say go birds. I don't like birds. I disagreed with that. Birds are, they are a scourge on everybody.

So do not say go birds. Those birds are racist. Yeah, racist birds. Wait, one second. We are right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love it or Leave It is brought to you by Bill.

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Michaela and Colton will be playing each other. I'll be chiming in with my amusing Bonn Mots as usual. So let's play. Was I in this? Yeah. Yay. All right, Colton, you first. Miquela co-starred with Julia Louis Dreypice in three different projects. Veep, the new adventures of old Christine,

and the underrated 2013 James Gandalfini rom-com, enough said. Am I trying to figure out if I was in it? No. I hope not. I hope that this becomes more of a, that becomes more of a medical thing. Then we ask you to,

were you in this clock you drew? You have to say if it's true or false, Colton. Oh, uh, who. Well, I mean, two of those I know, So I'm going to say false. Wrong. All right. Colton?

No points. No points. Uh-oh. I should have. Is that the scoreboard right there? I got it. I'm a professional. Yeah.

Michaela, is any part of you? Oh, wait. Yeah. James Gondofini. Yeah. That's cool. What was he like? I don't know

I didn't he was very sweet he was very sweet yeah but I only I only did one scene with him oh did he have that kind of intense charisma

the whole time yes that's cool no he was more like sweetie pie like you can't believe he was a mob boss I got to hang out with that guy

yeah really years ago I lived in a house right off Sunset Boulevard it was across the street from a place called coach and horses which was like a little dive bar

and he would show up there and he would show up there really late and the bartenders all knew him and then they would close the bar and let him stay and a couple of times he was like you you could stay too and we'd just stay and have a lot of fun with James Gandalfini at a bar on Sunset Boulevard until like you know three four in the morning that's cool Michaela yeah colton received not one but two Emmy nominations for mad TV what fantastic True or false? True.

False. He wrote for Mad TV and you had an iconic character, Mandongo. Oh my God. But he earned two Emmy nominations for his work writing for Key and Peel. Oh.

That's true. I was on that. Did you write for me? Which, what, sketch were you in? I played Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene Oh, Mary Magdalene's sketch Yeah

What was like the gist? Kegan was Jesus I had to wash his feet Okay, was it Was he filmed him being a pimp or something? It was at his house at 2 a.m. Were there any cameras there? Oh, yeah.

There was at least one cell phone. Okay. Colden, you were you worked for Mad TV, Kroll Show, Key and Peel, comedy, bang, bang. That was like a golden age of sketch. Oh, yeah.

Do you think it'll come back? You know, I'd like to think so. I'd like to think so that sketch comedy you'll make a comeback, you know, and I think funnier dies in there with all that stuff, you know, kind of that early internet days. But, you know, who knows?

It all seems like it's short form vertical sketches where people are in the sketches by themselves and they're just talking to each other in different angles on their cell phone. So I think that's the new sketch comedy. Loneliness. Just everyone by themselves. Do you have a favorite character you've played?

Do I? Yeah, I do. Who is it? Well, it was a favorite show I did. Favorite show? Yeah. Casual. Oh, yeah.

Oh, thank you. Great show. Smattering after everybody canceled their Hulu today. I don't know what to do because it's like maybe we need to get to the boy cop. I don't know what the answer is, obviously. If I did, I would tell you. But fundamentally, like, there's, like, obviously there's many problems, but three giant problems. One, anti-democratic authoritarian takeover of our government.

Two, corporate cowardice on an absolutely mind-boggling scale, just people giving the administration rights that actually couldn't take, like giving a power it couldn't cease and would never be able to win in court. But three, it is very clear that these corporations, Anyone making a calculation that is not moral but mercenary and financial and strategic is calculating that we are not a big factor. They're calculating that the tens of millions of Americans, the majority of this country that is not only pro-freedom expression, but, you know, anti-Trump aren't powerful and may never have power again.

And actually, even if we do gain power, won't make them pay for the decisions they've made to capitulate to this dangerous government. And we've got to figure out a way to make clear that both Democrats in power and everyone that's part of this big democratic movement from the far left to the anti-Trump right aren't going to forget and are worthy of being afraid of. And maybe that will be through,

and through nonviolent means, through boycott and protest and electoral success and through our representatives holding people accountable for the decisions they're making right now, but a combination of short-term thinking and a lack of imagination, and the correct evaluation of current democratic leadership that we're not people to fear is part of our problem. It's a big problem. And I don't know, if boycotts are the answer,

I don't know how to get to the place where we are seen as a political force worthy of respect. But one way or another, we've got to figure out what that is. I probably should do it quick, I think. Probably should go quick. I think canceling your subscript is a great place to start. You know, people didn't want to do that during the strike. They asked. asked us not to do that back in the day during the strike, specifically. But, you know, after working for a lot of these streamers in shows, all they care about is how many people are subscribed to them. And that's also their motivation is to get new subscribers.

So once you take yourself out of there, their whole business model is to figure out how to get you back to get you subscribed. I totally agree with that. I think I, my thought is not, oh, boycotts don't work. That's not. What I want to make sure is, you know, this happened on the right of fair amount. All these hosts were just like, you got a boycott an espresso. You got to get a got, you can't use this.

You can't do that. And there were all these different lists of on the left of places we're supposed to boycott. And my, my view on this is if we're going to decide, I want us to like, I don't, I don't want us to cry wolf. If we're going to say, all right, this is the place we're drawing the line. We're all going to cancel Disney Plus. We're all going to cancel Hulu. It has to be both clear, serious.

It has to actually have a goal, right? We can't just be like, oh, we're all not using this service forever. Maybe it's Kimmel has to come back on. I don't know what the answer is. But some measure by which we can declare success so that there's some incentive for people to actually respond to our pressure. And by the way, like, you know, it's an unusual thing for our side to set a strategic goal and then through collective action go about creating the incentives to make it real

rather than what we normally do, which is, I don't know, bicker and run around. but it's something to consider. Yeah. I'm going to think about that over this weekend. I feel like that's what it's like to be married to you just now. Like I'm like, good night, honey, you know. Should we watch Hulu? Oh, actually, I canceled it.

And then you just say all of that. And then it's like, well, when is this going to end? How long will this be canceled? What's the point of all of this? Yeah. And then at the end of it, your husband goes, okay, so good night. no you've you've gotten pretty close uh uh the good news is i just do fall asleep i'm pretty tired i'm pretty tired because i am having pretty intense political stress dreams

so i'll pass out easy the eyes go down and i'll try to take this thing down with a with a big old Xanax, just a, just a good old chemical, you know, mallet to the face, you know, just gung-out, out, out, out. But the dreams, the spiky dreams, the bit of the anxiety, the points, push through the cotton of the Xanax, you poke through into the open air, and then I'm awake, and then I'm awake, and then I'm awake, and it's night, and it's night, and then you know what else happens? What happens? the fire alarm has a tiny little light

and I would never know that light existed but for whatever reason at four in the morning it is as bright as the sun as bright as the sun and I wouldn't bother me any other time but at four in the morning just over in the corner of the bedroom ceiling the sun turns on gone

it's like an Ingmar Bergman sun goes on gone alone dark dark dark thoughts sun on can't sleep Can't sleep. Wow. Too late for a second pill. Too early.

To get up. Is that a dog snoring? You bet it is. Is that why I'm awake? No. Now to the third question of our quiz. This is a hoot. I'm glad you're both here.

It's a weird night. Colton. Michaela appeared in the Law and Order SVU episode Ballerina as Bertie Sulloway, a former dancer suspected of pushing her husband out of a window. True. That is false. Oh, no.

That was Carol Burnett. Michaela appeared as a law and order, classic, as Judge Madeline Bennett. Oh, really? Yeah. Who refused to testify against her husband's killer in order to hide her opiate addiction.

Right. Well, but it gets even better because it was, you know, how they tried to stay topical? It was like the Nancy Pelosi. like a student who was a protesting Israel, Palestine. He was pro-Palestine, anti-Israel. She was a pro-Israel judge, and she didn't let him clerk for her.

And so he came to have it out with her, and she was at home, and he murdered her husband. Oh, so it was like based off of what happened to Nancy Pelosi and her husband? And they merged it with Columbia protests. Wow. The rip-up headlines indeed. Jeez. Bum-Bum. It's Bum-Bum.

The news. What was the body discovery scene in that? Like, how do they, how do they, was it like? It's always like, you know, some guys like, hey, man, this ball, I can never get enough air. And, whoa, my body. You know, like. Yeah, somebody jogging.

Oh, no. No, it was the foyer. was a black and white tile parquet and, uh, turn of the century at a nice molding. And, um, and it was him lying there on the ground and just blood spilling from his head. Oh my goodness. Wow. Bump, yeah. Michaela.

Yeah. Colton recounted the true stale of the Sugar Hill Gang seminal hip-hop song, Rapper's Delight in an episode of Drunk History featuring Reda. Hmm. That sounds true. It is. Yeah. Nice.

I love Reda. Did you actually get wasted during that? Buddy, I got totally wasted during that. I did it once. I got so drunk. I got really drunk. I drank about an entire bottle of Jameson. Wow.

Yeah, it was bad. Did you have to go to the hospital? No, no. I didn't have to go to the hospital. I was still younger then and I could still drink. But I lost my shoes. So I woke up in my house without my shoes. and I didn't really remember the last, you know, you tell the story,

they have you tell the story about three or four times. And I only remember doing it two times, but apparently I did it two more times. And then I was like, all right, everybody, we're going out. And I, like, took people across the street to the coaching horses. Really? Yep. No, I remember when I got through, when I was doing the second telling, I lay down. And most of the second telling, I'm laying down.

Which story did you? tell again? I did John F. Kennedy's doctor who gave him all the pills. Oh, Dr. Feel Good. Dr. Feel Good. I did Dr. Feel Good. I was truly a child. Oh, wow. And I was also in the one with Lord Dern about the, oh, this is a fun little thing. I was in the one of the insane asylum that were the, about the woman who goes into undercover in an insane asylum. Oh, yeah. To expose it. To expose it. Yeah. And then, And she ends up being committed and she can't get out. Michaela, true or false? Colton's in Superstore.

Well, this is true. Oh, you got it. I got it because one of your producers was gushing. So that was a cheat. You think? And also because I love Superstar. Mm, Superstore, can't get enough. How are the wigs on Superstore?

What do you say? Wigs were great. We had a great team in the hair and makeup department that would put together some fun wigs. There's an episode, a Halloween episode. He played different characters every Halloween episode. And I was Superman for one of them. And I got to wear a wig, which is nice because I'm bald. So I don't have any hair. A reveal.

Why did you gas? Because in my mind. I haven't had 12 hair transplants yet. I don't know. I think three. is like three 12 is not worse than three once you're past one it's it's just like how many how many would I take it depends it depends on how bad of an afternoon you want to have you can I can get I think you could I think we get you done in two really really uncomfortable days okay three very mediocre days

it's so not fair what it's just not fair what's not fair you guys have one biological thing that plagues your like, adulting. You're forgetting about big balls. No. I don't know what these are. They get lower and lower and lower. They get lower.

They get lower. They're all over the place. It's not like you're half... Hold on a second. We're not just going to blow right past my big balls. You don't wear... You don't wear a ball bra that you have to like, that cuts off circulation

around your ribs. You're right. You're right. Because your boobs, your empty pockets are falling off your body. You don't have, you don't, you don't, you don't have, you don't have sweats. Talk about waking up in the middle of the night and looking at a red light. You don't have to deal with any of this bullshit. You get one thing, one, one, your hair, thins on the top of your stupid heads.

And guess what? Jesus. Yes, what, no, I'm not done. All I did was tape my hat off. Guess what? Guess what? This is what it is. What is it? You guys, then, how quickly did they figure that out?

We just figured out. We just figured out how to take care of that one thing that bums you out. All right. They didn't figure that out that quickly. If you remember, for a while, they were basically butchers. They were taking guys in and they were coming out like cabbage patch dolls. They were basically like, what we do is we take 50 hairs. We put them in one circle at the very top.

Then you comb it around. There are a lot of guys out there that got that, they went in early, and they are pioneers. and we are grateful to them. These people had the right stuff. They were braved. What's the name of the pilot from the right stuff? I don't know. Do you want to see my patch?

Sure. The one that I had to pay for and change or my body and brain fallout. What? Your brain fallout patch? What is this? It's a hormone thing. Sometimes we got to pee a lot.

So do we. Because we have no pelvic floor. Thank you. No, that's fair. It really is, they've solved boners and male baldness. Yeah, but I'm incontinent. Have a great day.

What's the score, by the way? On our scoreboard. Balls, two. One zero. Beautiful. McHale wins. Nice. Congratulations.

By the weight of a feather. Also, HACS is streaming now on HBO Max. And you keep tabs on Colton on Instagram at Cap Dope, like Captain Dope. Yeah, CAPT, DOP. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It is brought to you by Haya.

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And we're back. Yeah. Before we get to the wheel, Love It's New York Show is sold out. No way. Yeah, that's right. It's great. But here in Los Angeles, you can. We can come see us live.

Next Thursday, right here at Dynasty Typewriter, September 25th. We'll be joined by Paul Shear. Ooh. Congressman Eric Swalwell. Wow. And more. All right. Actor, director, generational smoke show, Robert Redford passed away on Tuesday.

I love Robert Redford. Great guy. Love. Popcorn was great. Love. Did he make popcorn? Maybe I'm thinking of Paul Newman. You're thinking of Paul Newman.

But I was doing the math on that one, and I was like, wow, that must have been friction in their friendship. Right, yeah, be like, oh, now Butch is doing it? Yeah. Miguel, you like Robert Redford? Loved. I mean, what's not to love? I went to Sundance a lot. I had a lot, a lot of movies there, luckily, fortunately.

Do you meet him? Yeah. I went as, I went to the director's lab as an actor. That sounds like I was lost. They invite, oh, no actors, huh? Cool. And I handed out my headshot. No.

I was invited, they invite actors in to like work with first time directors and then they have mentors. But then he invites you into this private little screening room while you're there. And he did a screening of all the president's men on the original reels and then talk about it afterwards. And, God, he's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful man. I was thinking the reason I wanted to do this is part because I was like, oh, my God, I sort of Robert Redford into like medium old in my mind, not like, oh, wow, he was old. You know, he's old guy. He's been around for a long time. Probably just so handsome, even

as an older guy. And so tonight, we wanted to give living legends, their flowers. So we're going to spin the wheel and praise a non-agenarian who's still with us. Because why not, why wait? Why wait to have the feelings with when they're gone? Okay. All right. So, Michaela, you go up first. We have a wheel.

Let's see who's on the wheel. Wheel. Oh, I missed this wheel sound. Oh. It landed on Shirley McLean, age 91. Wow. Oh, Cheryl. You know what?

Right before the pandemic was starting, I was about to go shoot a movie with her in Amsterdam, play her daughter. It was like a holocausty kind of movie. and it never But funny, but funny But hilarious Like Little Miss Sunshine meets the Holocaust

And there's something funny about the phrase holocausty Which makes me also think like Was it too much money This is holocausty It was about It was about a woman Who is very

hesitant to go back To Holland and her daughter really wants to go see where, you know, where her family was from originally and she's very testy and pissy through the whole thing, and you find out, like, about their dark, her dark past. But anyway, I just think that she, you know, terms of endearment, all of the things she's made, that she has just, she's a legend. And, Cheryl, like, you're beautiful.

I hope you come back in another form because she's balzy and she's, she's, she was never, she was never just, what's his face is brother, Warren's. She was her own whole damn thing. Yeah. Love Shirley McLean. Love terms of endearment. I mean, like, that sequel. Yeah.

The Rivers of the Summer. Nope. What about that one with Jack Black where, remember, that? Anybody? School of rock? Guarding tests. That was with Nicholas Cage.

Minecraft movie? And then she's all into astrology. She's fun. All right, let's spin it again, this time for Colton. It's land on Dick Van Dyke. Oh, love his popcorn. This guy. That's a euphemism.

I love Dick Van Dyke. I mean, look, I grew up Mary Poppins, chitty, chitty, bang, bang. So I loved you when I was a kid. And then I remember Nickelodeon used to play all the old stuff. So you had like the Dick Van Dyke show, stuff like that. Always super funny. Always seem really nice.

You know, I feel like there's a lot of people who you look back over their career, especially, you know, some comedians. And there's a lot of trouble. troubling things, you know, where you're like, uh-oh, oh boy, can't believe they did that, you know, and then maybe even just some like, like straight-up controversies. It feels like he was relatively controversy-free. The characters and the bits that he did, like, you could still play him, you know, I could still play, you know, I show my kid, uh, Mary Poppins, uh, you know, I just like that, you know, that, you know, and here's the thing. I know he was a recovering

an alcoholic. I'm sure there's probably some fucked up Hollywood stories of Dick Van Dyke but the people have died and they haven't told us those stories so we don't know them. They're probably cute. Yeah. And yeah so you just I think give that guy's flowers

man he always made everybody laugh and he's just a funny tall guy everybody loves the funny tall guy good prat balls. Yeah a guy made tripping over an item in an icon oh my goodness. An iconic trip over a lot of people can fall over an ottoman and a lot of people would

tumble he tumbled yeah he tumbled yeah he was he I feel like if he did do anything bad it was probably charming like yeah he dick he he fucked a peacock oh oh dick and a and a rock the name dick and like have it work never even connect with and dyke yeah he's got it all in there yeah yeah that is a triggering name and van And van, the creepiest vehicle. And I don't even connect them to the Dutch. Yeah. Those slippery Dutch.

Let's spin it one more time. This time for me. Oh, great. It's landed on Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. I love Mel Brooks. And you know, I was thinking about Mel Brooks because they're making space balls too.

I'm excited about that. I got friends that are working on space balls too. I'm excited about the fact that we're going to get a baseball suit and that Mel Brooks is still around. It's like be part of it in some way, which is amazing. So old. Big Man, that's so old. They're so old, but it's still kicking.

And there are all these old stories about Mel Brooks, just kind of tooling around like L.A. delis. And if there was, if you went up to Mel Brooks and said that you love the producers, he would say, of course you do. It's one of the greatest comedies of all time. And I love that. I love that vibe. I love the happiness.

like there are a lot of really funny Jewish comedians and then there's a lot of really positive comedians it's a really funny positive Jewish comedian wow that's that's a triple threat that's a triple threat joyous joyous and like those movies are so joyful

they're so fun I know and so many we like I don't know like so many we like drain so much of the fun out of like comedy a lot of the times and like just like Hollywood in general and everything is like so serious and even the scary movie high anxiety like even that was like scary funny yeah scary charming so charming so i did a game show with him you did yeah to tell the truth oh he was so

darling and with cloris leachman oh and then she rubbed her vagina on my arm she would known to be doing that and it was very funny sure it's funny when she does it but then louis k can't go anywhere Yeah. Wow. Double standard. Here we go. So think about that. And I'll just close by saying, when I saw that Robert Redford died, I had this realization that, like, there are some, there are some actors, classic actors, that when they die, you think of their performances. And he's an amazing actor, but that's actually not what I think of when I think of him. I think of the movies themselves, and I think of all the president's men, and I think of the candidate.

I think of three days of the Condor and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and how amazing these movies are and how much they hold up. How many people here haven't seen three days of the condor? Do yourselves. Give yourselves a treat in honor of Robert Redford.

Did you say out of Africa? I've never seen out of Africa. Oh, that's another good one. It's not a good movie. I'll watch it. He's so hot and it's disturbing. Nobody should be allowed. That was my take too.

It was like the guy's a smoke show in there, man. I mean. Just fires it up. Ridiculous. Real boner material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's the lesson too.

It's just like you got these stars in the boner material they leave the line. And what about that movie he did where it's just him on a boat and then he gets lost at sea? Does anybody know what that is? Help. And he was like over 80 years old

and every morning before they would even start shooting on a freezing cold boat in the ocean. He would go to the hotel pool and swim like five miles. I remember those guys were always talking about how they were worried that they were going to kill him. Yeah.

Because he was so old. And he was it cold? All is lost. And here we are. All these years later and he died bungee jumping. Yeah. From a helicopter.

Also sneakers. Sneakers. Sneakers is so good. All right. I love Robert Redford. RIPTO legend. That's our show. Thank you so much to Michaela Watkins and Colton, done.

We will see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter. There are 409 days until the midterms. Hope we have them. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other ones. For original content, community events, and more. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments

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and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber-exclusive pods, and more, sign up at crooked.com slash friends. Loved or Leave-It is a Cricket media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Bill McGrath is our producer.

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