Lovett or Leave It - Glasgow Big or Go Home

Episode Date: November 6, 2021

Adam Conover takes on the final boss, toxic masculinity, while Sam Sanders sorts through our nation’s most iconic scams. Nancy Pelosi (played by Michaela Watkins) cooks a dish everyone will love even if she has to keep changing the recipe. And Scott Yates joins Lovett in his crusade against his arch-nemesis, standard time. Plus a round of Hot Takes!For a closed-captioned version of this episode, please visit crooked.com/lovettorleaveit. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

P.S. Ted Cruz, go fuck yourself. Senator from West Virginia Those who are wrenching the wheel Of an overcomplicated infrastructure deal Let some zealots at Camilla Stock our bond supplies To give January 6th another try Fully vaccinated people Come and help yourselves

To some high, no heaven Count Karen, John, and friends. Tonight, let's put those awful thoughts upon the shelf. And tell Fox News to go and fuck themselves. We're going up for rails. We're going up for rails. We're going up for rails. We're going up for rails. We go. Well, I hope you all enjoy yourselves Cause tonight, that's right, we're going over hills Love it or leave it, it's love it or leave it

Street, street, street Good evening, Los Angeles. Look at this beautiful crowd. That amazing song was by Andrew Dwiggins. Most recently, a minor character who plays a suitor who briefly appears in an unremarkable Dickens novel that is just about the name Dwiggins. Dwiggins is the name of a character in a Dickens novel that does not get the girl.

You know? It's also a lovely song. Thank you, Andrew. I'm sorry. If you have a live or else theme song, send it to us at leaveitatcrooked.com. On the show this week, time

freak Scott Yates is here to discuss Daylight Saving Time. Adam Conover has thoughts on video games and masculinity. Sam Sanders helps crown the best grift of all. And Nancy Pelosi, wink wink, gives us an update on the biff. Plus how it takes her back. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Hold your loved ones close. Buy land with

water rights. New Jersey is now a swing state. What are you booing? What are you booing? I'm going to say this next piece, and I know it's stupid. New Jersey is a swing state? Va-fung-gool. All right. That's so stupid. Yes, on Tuesday, Democrats got fucking worked. What? I don't understand. It happened. Each time I acknowledge it, can't be a new surprise to you.

We got worked. In New Jersey, Democratic Governor Phil Murphy eked out a victory against his Republican challenger, a race no one expected to be that close. Meanwhile, Glenn Youngkin was victorious over former Governor Terry McAuliffe in Virginia. In a state Joe Biden won only a year ago by 10 points. This has led to recriminations and a deluge of sweet, sweet takes. My take is that Terry McAuliffe said this in an interview on Pod Save America. I like a rosé. I like a sparkling rosé. It's the Diet Coke of beers.

You look like a rosé type. You look like a rosé guy, Terry. They also asked us to cut that from the pod, and I said no. They also asked us to cut that from the pod, and I said no. I am a rosé guy, and I do look like a rosé guy. It was astute, and not the reason. Joe Manchin... Joe Manchin, meanwhile, pointed the finger at inflation

and Democrats' attempt to rush the Build Back Better plan through Congress via a one-party system. But if older white Virginias voted Republican because they don't want themselves to have vision and dental care under Medicare, I don't know what Democrats can really do to counter that. If making ourselves that we-don't-want-your-teeth-and-eyes-to-rot-out-of-your-fucking-skulls party isn't working, it's in God's hands. Also in Jersey, a Republican truck driver named Edward Durr won his election... That's how you heard it.

I don't know what you're laughing about. I just said his name. about. I just said his name. When his election against New Jersey Senate President Stephen Sweeney after reportedly spending just $153 on his campaign, 100% of which went towards paper flyers

and Dunkin' Donuts. No consultants, all donuts, and a better value than we got for Amy McGrath. You know what I mean? What? I feel like there are several people here constantly rediscovering the reality that we are in

through this set of cards. Meanwhile in Glasgow, Scotland, the world has gathered to negotiate a plan to stave off the worst effects of climate change. The U.S. has pledged it will update the Clean Air Act to cap methane emissions from the gas and oil industries. Over 40 countries also agreed to reduce

coal burning by the 2040s, though not the United States, India, or China, which is a bummer. Russia, Brazil, China, and the U.S. joined nearly 100 countries in vowing to end deforestation by 2030, a pledge that affects 85% of the world's forests, which is going to be particularly difficult for Brazil

given how much they hate Bush. Like I know anything about that. Critics have noted that the pact for the deforestation allows for another 10 years of deforestation and even then it's not binding. But have I learned one thing from the giving tree? It's that trees love it when we fuck them over. They're addicted to getting absolutely owned.

Greta Thunberg stormed out of the summit's high integrity in the voluntary carbon market panel on Wednesday, disappointed by companies' attempts to greenwash their carbon offset programs. Sort of like a classic thing. Like, at a certain age, all teens feel like they're too cool for their government's

carbon offset programs. I do think some of those offset programs are like, you see that tree right there? I swear to God I was going to cut it down, but now I'm not. It's an offset. Ahead of the climate change summit, European leaders gathered to toss a coin in Rome's Trevi Fountain, hoping for good luck in addressing climate change. I really wish somebody thought to do that before atmospheric carbon exceeded 400 parts per million for the first time in 3 million years. At the summit, Biden apologized for the Trump administration pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord, saying this.

America was really behind the eight ball the last four years. We've lost a lot of our standing. I heard that speech. I'll tell you, Biden could have used an eight ball, you know what I mean? Because he sounded tired. I'm saying Biden should have done some coke. Cocaine. I don't think

Biden should have to apologize for something Trump did. That would be like Trump apologizing for Joe Biden stealing the election. President Biden visited the Vatican. He reportedly met with the Pope for 90 minutes, so it's safe to say they did not watch Dune. Loved Dune, by the way. On Tuesday, Chuck Schumer announced a deal had been reached

to lower prescription drug prices, one that even Kyrsten Sinema allegedly signed on to. They just had to include a provision that legally accepts mommy juice as a name for wine. Blech. In a hotbed for the Washington Post, Mitt Romney defended the filibuster he called Democrats' attempts to abolish it for voting rights, an unserious partisan effort aimed at messaging and energizing that party's base. He's right, of course, on some level.

Everything we do is to try in vain to create a third of the energy in our base. That matches what happened when we found out that Mitt Romney drove across the country with a dog on his roof. On Monday, Governor Greg Abbott sent a letter to the Texas Association of School Boards asking them to find and remove library books that contain pornographic material. And once we get rid of the porn in books, we're going to check to see if there's any porn on the internet. We made a list of some of the banned materials. Clifford the Big Red Hog. Harry Poppers in the Chamber of Secrets.

Wait. The Very Horny Caterpillar and the Receiving Tree. Now, I admit that inside of that list was obviously a Poppers joke, not the best one we've ever used, but I realized that I accidentally skipped last week, so we need to do two poppers jokes tonight.

So I guess we'll have to squeeze in a second right now. That's it. That's the second joke. Okay. Facebook announced this week that they will no longer... You know what? I'm just going to read you the punchline of the joke. In New York City courtship,

going to Staten Island with someone is considered 3,000th base. Jesus. It's about Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson. They might be fucking, but they went on a roller coaster at the very least. Facebook announced this week that they will no longer be using facial recognition and plan to delete a billion users' facial templates. According to a Facebook spokesperson, having your facial template deleted

isn't as painful as it sounds, and most users are able to live productive lives. The SpaceX capsule's toilet is on the fritz, so four astronauts will be forced to wear backup underwear on their return trip. There was a bathroom, said William Shatner. He's an old man. He shat himself. William Shatner came back from space covered in shit. Meanwhile, astronauts aboard the International Space Station grew green chilies in space and used them to make tacos, which is

cultural appropriation. Blow it up out of the sky. But seriously, spicy tacos in outer space, we can only thank heaven that these aren't the same astronauts with the broken toilet. In the last year, there have been three instances where pilots flying over Los Angeles report seeing a jetpack man hovering over the city. The case remains open, but this week the FBI said the sightings may have been a balloon shaped like Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's 1993 claymation film, The Nightmare Before Christmas. This went from a 10 to a 0 on the awesomeness scale so fucking fast. Like all the things it could turn out to be. During a Wednesday news conference, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis referred to the Biden administration as the Brandon administration.

A reference to the chant taking conservative America by storm. What is Let's Go Brandon? An NBC sports reporter misheard a NASCAR crowd chanting, Fuck Joe Biden and thought they were cheering Let's Go Brandon in support of driver Brandon Brown. As you can hear the chants from the

crowd. Let's Go Brandon. Brandon, you can hear the chants from the crowd. Watch your back! Let's go, Brandon. Brandon, you told me you were going to kind of hang back. It was a real life, honest to God, I was saying Boo-erns. It actually happened. A real, I was saying Boo-erns in the world. Of course they took advantage of that.

That fucking rules. Anyway, the phrase became a right-wing meme. Then a Southwest pilot is being investigated because he said let's go Brandon over the intercom before takeoff, which is, I would say, not ideal. People are losing their minds. Anyway, Southwest quickly apologized, saying airlines' policy is that passengers must provide their own memes.

Anyway, Southwest quickly apologized, saying, Airlines policy is that passengers must provide their own memes. Ted Cruz also got in on the meme action, tweeting, Let's go, Brandon, and whispering it, while climaxing in the bathroom as he was watching a lesbian incest porn based on the original Beverly Hills 90210. Speaking of porn and right-wing nuts... When we come back, Adam Conover's here. And we're back!

This week, Republican Senator Josh Hawley from the good state of Missouri spoke with the National Conservatism Conference in Orlando saying the following. Can we be surprised that after years of being told that they are the problem, that their manhood is the problem, more and more men are withdrawing into the enclave of idleness and pornography and video games? Of course, the senator is not the only conservative flagging video games as a signpost for the end times where men are concerned. In his

2017 book, The Vanishing American Adult, Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse blamed video games for making kids softer, chiding the 5 million Americans who he claims play 45 hours of video games a week. Here to discuss all of this, the most masculine, macho, manly gamer I know, he makes Jason Momoa in Dune look like Timothee Chalamet in Dune.

And he's sexier than either. Welcome back, Adam Conover. Hi, Adam. Terrible. Hi there. Thanks for having me. Happy to be here. So I want to talk to you about gaming and masculinity.

Two topics I could not be more excited to discuss. Well, the reason I was glad to talk to you about them, because, you know, you spoke to Joe Rogan, I think like two years ago, and it was a really interesting conversation that really reminded me of what Josh Hawley is trying to do. But you were talking about loneliness in older men and how the culture around masculinity

may be contributing to that. But what's interesting about it is Rogan's like, yeah, I mean, maybe men should be more sensitive, but they also should fucking man up. And I feel like that got to the heart of what Holly's trying to take advantage of. Yeah, I blacked out during that conversation. So thank you for reminding me what we discussed.

Yeah, no, I mean, it was a really, it was an interesting conversation because me and Joe, like we had a point of agreement in what we were talking about and we also had a point where we were talking completely past each other. And I think that is exactly

what it's about. Yeah, well, I mean, one of the things you pointed out is that from a very young age, boys are told that certain things aren't manly and they shouldn't do them. Hold hands with other boys

in a kind of friendly way. Build close relationships. You talked about how even as a boy, you're afraid to be vulnerable because you're going to get made fun of. And Rogan's response, which I actually think is propelling a lot of this sort of masculinity discourse.

I think you see it in Chappelle. I think you see it in what Holly's doing is like, yeah, but we need guys to man up. They're really soft right now. Men have become really soft. They're playing too many video games. But then the question is, okay, what are these qualities that men are

supposed to have that women shouldn't have? And what are the qualities women should have that men shouldn't have? The answer to that question is very obvious. It's aggression and, I don't know, providing stuff, killing things, being emotional stoicism and emotional unavailability.

I mean, someone who buys into all that might disagree with me, but it's basically the whole ball of wax that we're brought up to believe is associated with manliness, either overtly or very subtly. And it's weird because what I was saying and what I would continue to say is that

that stuff is a prison to a certain extent because you're told well these sort of things are for you and these other emotions and these other ways of being are not for you and like to me the point that i was trying to make is that i grew up around a lot of women who talked about what they were cut off from because of our ideas about womanhood, right? And it took me another, like, 15 years to start thinking about, wait, there's stuff I'm cut off from, and that is hurting me, and that wasn't a conversation I ever had. And I was trying to broach that, but, you know, a lot of folks come back to that, and yeah, they just say,

yeah, except you should be more of a man, though. Like, no, but that's the same thing that you were already doing. Yeah, I feel it myself sometimes because I have female friends, I have gay friends, and I even have some straight male friends. It sometimes happens. Are you saying we're friends? I think we're friendly.

Yeah, that's how I describe it to you. Yeah, yeah, no. Oh, you know John? Yeah, I know of him. Yeah, yeah. We've met from time to time. Yeah. Bumped into each other at the Erewhon.

We'll say hello. See a mutual friend's, real friend's birthday party. Neither one of us has taken even the first step that either would take to put us on the road for a genuine friendship. Oh my God. I mean, this isn't that either. This is work. We're both at work right now. This is very much work.

I'm working so hard up here right now. But it's not unpleasant. It's not unpleasant. It's a simulacrum. Simulacrum. Simulacrum. This is why I'm not seeking the friendship. Who wants to be corrected by a slightly smarter version of themselves? Not me. Yeah. not seeking the friendship who wants to be corrected by a slightly smarter version of themselves not me yeah but no but i was getting what i was getting at is and i want to get to the video game piece of this is it took me until my mid late 30s to be like wait a second i have such a different

shittier version of friendship with straight guys because i'm doing the straightest version of me the least feminine version of me right and i'm like and then i bring something totally different to a group of gay friends or a group of female friends because that's the space where that kind of vulnerability and compassion is more welcome. But what is also interesting to me about this is then they turn and say, men have a problem, which isn't incorrect. Men do have a problem in this country. And they're turning to video games, which are for boys, which itself is a version

of the kind of toxic masculinity they're decrying. That's the strange thing. That's the weird thing about what Holly's saying, because it's like, oh, you're told their manhood is wrong, so they're going to video games. Well, video games are a thing that I grew up being told was for boys. You did a great Adam Rubin's Everything, I think, about this. About when, like, it was not

the case that video games were seen as being for boys, and a very specific change happened. Yeah. Okay, I'll dance like a monkey and do it. We're at work. If you remember, this is work right now. No, in the 80s, especially the computer game era, games were very multi-gender in that, for instance,

Roberta Williams, who was a great game designer for Sierra, did the King's Quest games. She was one of the first great gaming superstars. People like that. There were real games for adults. When Nintendo, though, started making games, and this is one version of the story. There's a lot of different ways to break it down.

But when Nintendo took over the video game market, they sold specifically in toy stores. They left kind of the radio shacks of the world, and they went to toy stores. Toy stores were very much boy and girl aisle, and they kind just chose an aisle they also you know probably went in a direction that more boys were playing the system anyway but that's because boys are given like computer toys at a younger age that sort of thing but it was really with the start of nintendo that the masculinity of games themselves developed and it wasn't yeah it was like sort of a weird conditional

thing of what capitalism did it's not like one gender likes interactive electronic entertainment more than the other no they just advertise two boys yeah and then you know they made games that had objectified women in them they made it about shooting and cars and well i had the phenomenon you know i have a sister who's one year younger than me and we had every video game system but it was always like my hobby and she would watch, or she would occasionally take the controller. And I don't remember saying, don't play.

That was just how we played. And now that we're adults, she likes video games as much as I did, but we had a different relationship with them back then for God knows why kids, where we absorbed those things, how we absorbed them. Yeah, it's interesting, because I do think right now there is this moment where, yes, there's still the kind of, I think, traditional style games, your Call absorb those things, how we absorb them. Yeah, I mean, it's interesting because I do think right now there is this moment where, yes, there's still the kind of, I think, traditional style games, your Calls of Duty.

Yeah. That, you know, your kind of shooting games, your games that have fit into these tropes. But it's also a really exciting time for independent games, for games that tell stories, for games that don't play into some of these tropes. But are you right now playing Demon's Souls? Are you a Souls person? I am playing Demon's Souls. I finished Demon's Souls very long.

I played every Souls game. I watched a whole bunch of the Elden Ring trailer that came out today. Anybody? Thank you. A valiant effort, man, but I don't believe you. They don't. You play Sekiro? I did play Sekiro. Did you get past the Guardian Ape? I beat everything in Sekiro.

That's one of my greatest achievements as a person, is beating Sekiro. You don't know. You weren't there. You weren't there and you don't know. You weren't there, is beating Sekiro. You don't know. You weren't there. You weren't there, and you don't know. You weren't there. You weren't there, and you weren't there. You don't know what it's like. You don't understand.

It's like we're astronauts who both saw Earth from space, and you didn't. Does that make sense? I actually died on the launch pad, but I understand the metaphor, because I did not get past the Guardian Ape. Oh, the Guardian Ape is real hard. You think you beat him, and oh, fuck. He's got a zombie worm in his neck, and he's coming back for real hard. You think you beat him, and oh, fuck. He's got a zombie worm in his neck, and he's coming back for you. He's coming back for you, and you won't know that at first.

And you'll be caught off guard. Yeah, no, I play everything. I play almost everything I can get my hands on. Playing Metroid Dread? I also am in the middle of Metroid Dread. Yes, I play Metroid Dread. Very good. Anybody?

Same woman? You're all late. You're not playing it. I can tell. Ronan tried to trick me into playing it, but I didn't realize it was 2D. You don't like 2D? I like to be able to turn around. I want to look around. You can turn around?

No, no, no. I want to look this way. I want to look that way. I want to move. I want to feel like I'm in a place. So Josh Hawley, obviously, one of the things that Josh Hawley's playing into with this kind of nonsense is there really is a crisis that men are going through right now. That on the one hand, as he points out, I think as you pointed out on your show, is that there really is a problem of loneliness among men, especially older men. There's a crisis around jobs. And then there is this larger conversation around gender in our culture that is very destabilizing for a lot of people. People like Joe Rogan take advantage of that. I think Dave Chappelle is taking advantage

of that. I think Josh Hawley, a demagogue, is taking advantage of that. What was the reaction when you kind of confronted some of those norms on Rogan? What was the fan base like when you're like, actually, some of this stuff you're talking about is pretty toxic? Oh, I mean, they weren't happy with me. No, I mean, it was very interesting. I had to batten down the old Instagram comment hatches for a little while. You know, it was, everybody listens to that show. There's a caricature of people who listen to that show that's very easy to indulge in.

But the truth is, it's extremely popular and tons and tons of people listen to it. And tons of people reached out and said, oh, that really resonated for me. I really appreciated that, you know. And then a lot of people just said, like, we spent a good part of the interview talking about the false dichotomy between alphas and beta males. And how this is not real. This isn't like science. This is just a framework that I happen to think is harmful. Those are not true.

And just a lot of people were like, yeah, you're a beta, though. And it's hard to argue with that. Well, that's a pretty beta attitude about it. You know, that's the difficult conversation, you know? Like I said, we found points of agreement and points of not. Like, you know, the whole argument is that, again, there's attributes that we have historically associated with maleness. Those are not necessarily bad attributes, right? The problem is that we as men cut ourselves off from other good things that we

should have, like close companionship or things like that, to our detriment. And some of the things that we embrace can also hurt and injure us in ways that are like hard to understand. And like, you know, I've really experienced this. Can I tell a personal story? Please. One of the first stories we had as a kid was that me and my sister had a Hello Kitty, like little kitchen set, right? With like a frying pan and stuff like that to cook. And growing up, I was like, that's my sister's Hello Kitty kitchen set. And it was like a very iconic toy I remembered from my childhood, but I labeled it as my sister's. When I was like 32, we were watching childhood VHS tapes and we're watching a tape of Christmas morning when I'm like three years old. And I open it. And I open the Hello Kitty kitchen set.

And I say, yeah, it's what I wanted. It's a kitchen set. And I go to start cooking, right? I was like, that was mine? My parents were like, yeah, you wanted that. You asked for it. You wanted to cook. And I was so heartbroken for myself, right?

Because why did I, like two years later when my memories began stop understanding that that was mine the truth is i love to cook i love to cook for my girlfriend that's like a nurturing thing that i like to do that is a emotion and a way of being that like i was just sort of subtly in ways i didn't understand pushed away from and that's like a harm and unfortunately as many times as you explain that people will go go, well, you fucking hate men, though. You know, like and some people, they hear it as that. And I don't know. All you can do is try to say it over and over again, try to say it better next time and try to really have that communication. And, you know, with Rogan, we got halfway there and not all the way there.

And it was an effort on my part. You can tell me whether or not it worked. But the reason I wanted to talk about it is in part because, like, I see what happens when Josh Hawley says something like this on Twitter, he gets exactly what he wants, which is content free denunciations on Twitter. And obviously, what he's doing is saying, hey, there is a problem with men, there is a conversation about masculinity, I'm very intent on making both of these things worse. That is my goal to put blame on liberals and leftists and then make both of these problems worse, do nothing to address what is plaguing men in this country and contribute nothing but harm to a conversation about what masculinity is or isn't.

But we need to have this conversation because clearly it's resonating with a lot of people because I don't care about Dave Chappelle, but I do find it really interesting what that audience is laughing at and loving. And you get a sense of there's this anxiety and insecurity about manliness and masculinity and what it means to be and masculinity and what it means

to be a man and what it means to be a woman. And we better be ready to have that conversation in a way that kind of people can understand. It all comes from pain, you know, and it's just a question of how we address that pain. Like I remember going on like the seduction Reddit, the pickup artist Reddit, which is still around. And, you know, that was a very fun thing for us to all make fun of for like a decade. Right. remember at the height of that i would go look at it and it would be these guys saying like yeah i ran a b system on a real hb9 they have all their codes and it's like very all this stuff right and then you'd really you'd read between the lines and realize this is like a 19 year old at college who is like very anxious about talking to women. And no one ever taught him how.

And I remember growing up and all the women in my life had the various magazines that said, here's how to figure out if a boy likes you. You know what I mean? We teach them social rules. We teach each other rules. And a lot of men are not taught that. I was never taught that.

It's a pain and a lack and a thing that they need and no one is giving it to them. And so they go get it from the biggest assholes in the universe, you know? But like, I think you're right. If we have the conversation and we provide that thing that men are missing, then we can do it in a more productive way.

We can actually fill that in a way that's nourishing and not destructive. And I think what men are mostly missing are kind of big feathery hats and big kind of big kind of floral things that make them stand out in a crowd even though they live in their parents basement i'm trying to give you a new perspective on you're going right back to the old joke i've fallen for the game i've fallen for the game yet again uh before we uh go on to the next segment where

you stand on daylight savings time what's your what's your stand? Oh my God. I mean, look, I used to be an anti-Daylight Savings Time person. And then the thing that I learned is that there are certain parts of the country where the latitude is at such a spot where if you don't do it, then it doesn't become light out until like 9.30 a.m. or some shit. And so there is like a little bit of a need in some spots.

However, I think we got to loosen it up federally because I think, for instance, California would probably want to move to. And by the way, it's not that we hate daylight savings time. It's that here for me, I hate standard time. We're about to move into standard time, which for some reason is shorter than daylight savings. It's like less months because we've been squeezing it for so long. Yeah, because we some reason is shorter than daylight savings time. It's like less months a year. Well, because we've been squeezing it for so long. Yeah.

Because for so long we've been contracting daylight savings. You know what? We're going to get to this later, but here's the good news. You're absolutely right. You have landed on the correct policy outcome. There is an answer. And he got there. Yeah, I fucking ruined the show.

I did it too early. That's what I do. For Adam Conover, he's going to stick around. Thank you. When we come back, Sam Sanders is going to join as well. Hey's going to stick around. Thank you. When we come back, Sam Sanders is going to join as well. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. This week, would-be investors in SquidCoin, a cryptocurrency leveraging the success of the hit Netflix show, found themselves with empty pockets after the scam artists behind Squid cashed in the coins and made off with $3.3 million before disappearing, which does seem very much in the spirit of Squid Game.

But the truth of the matter is, we've all been scammed. But which scams rise to the top of our grift-based culture? Here to decide who wins the grift bracket, please welcome Sam Sanders of NPR's It's Been a Minute. Hi, Sam. Hey there. Oh, my God. The email said, the stairs are steep. Be careful. And I was tripped.

Wow. Hey, fellas. Hi. Here's how this is going to work. We have a grift bracket. Can we throw the grift bracket up on the screen? All right. It's a sweet 16 of griffs. We are going to take you through each one. Adam and Sam are going to help us figure out who wins.

I'm not going to read them all. We're going to go through matchup by matchup. Let's start with the first seed, I think. Don't know how seeds work. Fire Festival with Billy McFarlane and Ja Rule. Rich millennials spend thousands of their parents' dollars so they could eat soggy ham and cheese sandwiches on an island versus Squid Coin, the $3.3 million rug pull.

What is the worst grift? I don't care about the Fire Festival because fuck them kids. Right? Everybody at Fire Festival, I was like, okay, you'll be fine.re Festival I was like, okay. You'll be fine. Also Ja. I like him still. Wow. So that's an argument for SquidCoin.

What do you think? I mean, let's see. Both burned a lot of fossil fuels. That's true. Getting there versus the cryptocurrency. I honestly think it's worse to attend an event and not be fed or have a place to sleep. They were fed.

You saw the sandwiches. It was food. That's true. That's true. You really feel better for the Fyre Festival kids than the crypto investors? I still don't know what crypto is, so I can't comment on that. Yeah, well, I mean, they're in their own little cult. But no, I'm going to say I think Fyre Festival is actually bigger, I think.

I'm going to break the tie. I got to say Fyre Festival. There were two documentaries on it. It's a big deal. Because there were documentaries on it. Yeah. All right. So Fyre Fest takes the first game.

Next up, we have Theranos versus Elon Musk's Subway for Cars. Elizabeth Holmes swindled investors from billions. Elon Musk is just tunnels. Tunnels with mouth that doesn't make sense. Adam, I'll start with you. I've been on this show before. You know my feelings about Elon Musk. They're known as very funny and very bad, big scam. People lost money. But Elon Musk's subway for cars, people still believe it today. There are mayors who are saying, Elon, I'll give you a billion dollars if you build one for me here in Boise or whatever. So I got to say it's worked much better.

So it's... It's ongoing. It's an ongoing scam. Yeah, you could go fucking ride one in Vegas, I think, at this point. Cool. And it's shitty. Sam, what do you think?

I'm going to go ahead and say here I feel for Theranos woman. Because, did y'all see the text that she would send to her boyfriend who was also in Theranos? And she'd be like, you're my moon, my stars, I love you. We're going to take over the world. And then the next day he'd write back, yeah, cool.

I feel for her, so she can't lose. She has to advance. Alright, we're going to, I'm going to give you that one. We're going to go Theranos is going to advance that one. Because you think it's a reward for her to do well in the bracket? I think she's listening, and I think she knows. First of all, I met her, and she was very charismatic, and I also believed her.

Did she use the voice, though? Oh, yes. But the thing that these two stories have in common, actually, is the blood test that Theranos wanted to do doesn't make sense because blood is too variable. You simply cannot get that. That amount of information isn't contained in a drop of blood. You must

have more blood to get the information. Okay, vampire. You must have more blood. You have more tasty, tasty, delicious, virgin blood in the night. But the Elon Musk tunnel is fantastic because it's like, hey, tasty, delicious virgin blood in the night. But the Elon Musk tunnel is fantastic because it's like, hey, man, you know, tunnels aren't just about tunnels. Cars have to get in and out of those things.

And if you want a couple hundred or thousand cars going through that thing every couple minutes, you need vast openings. You know? You know? Vast openings. Next up, LuLaRoe, as documented in LuLaRich, the pyramid scheme about terrible pants versus credit scores. Sam, I'll start with you. Mine just got good, so I love credit scores.

You know what I appreciate? You're bringing a personal energy real personal to these head-to-heads i made some moves um i watched all four parts of lula rich did a segment on my show about it because i was obsessed because spoiler alert at the end of the saga of the lula row tights the leader of the cult she wants so badly for all of the devotees of the tights cult to be like her and to be like sisters, basically. She starts to tell all of them to get, like, gastric bypass surgery. And then she says, if you want to do it, I know a guy. And then she gets a kickback when any of the tights people get the gastric bypass.

So that is more legendary than any other credit score scam. I've never heard of a gastric bypass pyramid scheme. That's cool. Me neither. It's not cool. No, it's not cool. I don't know what LuLaRoe is. It's a pyramid scheme for leggings.

Multi-level marketing officially. That's really what it is? It dragged in a lot of people who were like, I know what I'll do for money. I'll infuriate my friends by trying to sell them leggings. Got it. Got it. As opposed to a country-spanning social credit system

that destroys the lives of hundreds of millions of people that we're all subject to, where the very websites that you use to check the credit scores, half of them are scams, to the extent that the government had to create its own site called annualcreditreport.com, which is the only one you should use. And you know that because when you go there, it has a big thing that says,

this is the only credit site that you should use. The other ones are all scams. Please only use this one because this is the only real one. Yeah, I think that's the bigger scam. I think it's the bigger scam too. But you're also forgetting, in fairness to them, they've also had terrible data hygiene and been entrusted with vast quantities of it

while not successfully protecting it. Oh, yeah. We have to use them, and we're not actually their customers, and yet we're forced to engage with these companies that have sold our privacy away, basically. So, yeah, we're giving it to yeah basically so yeah we're giving it to the credit score we're giving it to the credit score we're going with the credit scores next up we have sean king social justice sweatshirts versus samir rao aussie's co-founder so basically we have 165 dollar sweatshirt that may or may not be sent versus a completely manufactured media

company in which someone did a fake voice on a call to pretend they were from YouTube. Can I ask why Samir Rao versus anybody else at Ozzy? Carlos Watson's the real scammer, right? He was the guy. It's a good note. Well, he was the one who did the voice.

He was the one who did the voice. He went on the Goldman Sachs call and said, YouTube loves these guys. I don't know why that's. I'm from YouTube and I love these guys. Ozzy, everybody loves Ozzy videos.

You can't get enough of this Ozzy content. Carlos Watson, huge fucking star. Where is he from? I don't know. We need an answer, fellas.

I got to say, Ozzy, because that's the only one that was advertised to me on bus benches in Los Angeles. Where Carlos Watson would just be like, Carlos Watson knows what's happening. And I was like, who the fuck is this guy? And then it turned out nobody. He was nobody. He just put himself on bus benches.

I think it's a cool example, too, of like, oh, wow, yeah, I'm sure their PowerPoint's cool. Have you seen anything they've ever done anywhere? No. I get it if you can fall for a scam like that's a software scam or your theranosis or what have you. But like one way a media company exists and proves it successful is by existing in the world that you see

with your eyeballs. At least you could get a free copy of Vice at a dive bar on the Lower East Side. You know what I mean? Absolutely. At least I've held one in my hands. You good with Ozzy? I'm not mad with them taking all those investors' money, because they have money to burn. Yeah, that's true. I am perpetually intrigued with Sean Cain, because he's actually a real scammer, like,

through and through. And, like, every few months, parts of the internet wonder aloud if he's black or not. And that's funny to me. That's just part of it. That's part of it. All right, we're giving it to Ozzy because they were on park benches in LA. Next up, we have Adam Newman and WeWork

versus Jamie Spears and his conservatorship. WeWork turned a room and desk rental system into a fake revolutionary, future-shaking, fake business. And Jamie Spears was like, nah, I got to take your money. You're going to buy too many cars. I'm going to say we've already got a couple ones up here where the main victims were people

who were already incredibly wealthy, like the people who invested in Theranos and Aussie and all those sorts of things. So the WeWork one would just be another one of those. Like the Jamie Spears, because he's fucking over his own daughter. What the fuck is going on? Yeah. Poor lady.

And she's rich, too, but, you know, she doesn't get any of the money. And, you know, we're all – and also it's indicative of a broader problem that isn't currently represented on the board. I think that's a good argument. And also, Sam, curious what you think about the level of brazenness this requires. He was, I think maybe still, or until he left the conservatorship, he was paying the crisis communicators messaging why he took over his daughter's fortune using the money he was taking from the conservatorship. So when she was trying to get out of it,

he used the money to hire PR people and lawyers to message what was going on with her trying to stop her father from doing this. Thoughts? Yeah, I think that's the worst thing ever. And yeah. Jamie Spears takes it. Next up, Facebook's fake pivot to video in which they manipulated the data and lied to companies that then decided to follow what Facebook was saying, only to later be told that it was entirely

fictional and causing them to shutter and close all kinds of jobs. Versus Wells Fargo making checking accounts and credit cards no one asked for or wanted to goose their numbers, then blaming the low-level people instead of taking responsibility at the highest level. Wells Fargo versus Facebook. They did my mom.

Wells Fargo got my mom. And my brother found it. It's fine. She's all right. But like, fuck them. Fuck them. Yeah. What do you think?

I know where you are. I have personal stories about both of these. Let's hear it. The first one is about Wells Fargo. A couple years ago, my agent emails me and says, Hey, you want to audition for this voiceover for Wells Fargo? And the ad was, We at Wells Fargo understand we made a mistake did you say no i said there's no

fucking world in which i could but i was like do you know what i do like i can't not in a million years i hope the person who did it made a lot of money but so that's the other one no uh not in a million years for that much is what i would say. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it turned out they only offered me. No, Facebook, you know why. Because Facebook's pivot to video killed CollegeHumor, the website that I used to work at, and many other websites. I remember being, I was in my office, in the workplace. We published videos on our own website. We published videos on YouTube.

We made money there. I remember the day my boss said to me, you've got to see own website. We publish videos on YouTube. We made money there. I remember the day my boss said to me, you've got to see these numbers we're getting on Facebook. We've got to start posting more videos on Facebook. Start posting everything on Facebook. No way to monetize. Found out five years later the company's basically gone, and we find out that they just made up all the view numbers.

They just made up the view numbers. So that was personal to me. They honestly did fuck over. There's no longer an internet comedy industry. There once was one. I mean, unless you call this comedy, which I don't. But, you know. I just got here, man.

What's going on? I want you all to know something. I saw that. That was like a slow motion, like a cake falling. I saw him moving towards it like a raptor in Jurassic Park. And I was looking straight ahead, but he came at me from the side. You know what I mean? What do you think? Wells Fargo or Facebook? I mean, Wells Fargo's the worst.

Wells Fargo's the worst? We're going with Wells Fargo. Corporate banks are the worst. Credit union. It did hurt many more people. You know. Next up. You know. Credit union, yeah. Right?

There we go. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson holding hands on a roller coaster versus, this is a tough one, the way Chipotle scoops guacamole into the little cup. We see how they put so much air in that cup. They put a spoon in, then they put a spoon on top, then they smooth the top, and they leave so much air. Who added that? Who added that?

That's not grift. That is a grift. No, because if you see it once and you don't like it, get your guac somewhere else, bro. It's Southern California. It's not a grift. It is a grift. If you think it's a grift, raise your hand. If they wanted to give us less guacamole, they're suggesting it's this size, but the actual amount

they're giving could fit in a smaller cup, but they don't want to do that. So you want the underpaid farmers in Mexico to have to make more avocados and get into the cartels so that you can get all your precious ooh, I want my good fats. Like, fuck you.

You don't, you shouldn't even have any guacamole, okay? Chipotle life hack. You don't, okay? Chipotle life hack. You don't need it. Chipotle life hack. If you're just getting chips and guac, you can skip the line. And everyone's mad at you. And you're like, I don't fucking care.

Wait, what's the scam? Why is Kim K and Pete a scam? You just don't buy it? I don't buy it. I don't think. No, but here's the thing. I don't buy it. What's not to buy? I don't buy it. They were on a roller No, but here's the thing. I think it's... I don't buy it. What's not to buy?

I don't buy it. They were on a roller coaster. They were screaming their own hands. Come on. What are they talking about? What are they talking about while waiting for the photo? You know what I mean? I think they neutralize each other.

She ruins every person she's with. He kind of ruins every person he's with. So they might last forever. Not a grift. Well, I guess then either one that you choose will be easy to defeat in the second round. What? I'm going to move on despite the attacks.

Chipotle wins my fucking show. Go for it. Go for it. Next up, we have college versus the Olympics. Sam, you kick us off. College or the Olympics? What's a bigger scam? I covered an Olympics. Sam, you kick us off. College or the Olympics? What's a bigger scam? I covered an Olympics, the Sochi ones, 2014.

And yo, it's a scam. So this Winter Olympics was like on the sea. Like it was a beach climate. There was a beach resort. And all of the housing they build for the athletes and the journalists it is like tenement housing and after it's done you just leave and it falls to shit and it's just bad and everyone cheats and russia is always doping and like biggest grift biggest scam in the olympics end them counterpoint what do you get when you get a general studies major you know what i mean i don't know man you fucking learned something i don'tpoint. What do you get when you get a general studies major? You know what I mean?

I don't know, man. You fucking learned something? I don't know. It's up to you if you don't want to go to class. You know what I mean? I don't know. I find college at least, there's bad colleges. College debt is a scam. Your bracket does not say college

debt. But the actual action of going to college, learning, bettering oneself, you know, understanding the world around us, education being the most important thing we can do for ourselves and as a society, very important. The Olympics, I watch the Olympics, I love sports, we genuinely

do not need them. Every single one of these sports has a world championship every year. Every year! You could be watching the fucking Every single one of these sports has a world championship every year. Every year. You could be watching the fucking sprinters. You could be watching the 100-meter sprint. You could be watching the girls all around every year.

They don't put it on TV. You could just watch the shit. We don't have to all go to Sochi or wherever the fuck and build all the shit. They're just doing it. They're just doing it. They're fucking doing it at University of Oregon next year. Just fly to fucking Eugene. It's a $100 flight, all right? It goes from Burbank.

It's so fast. Oh, it's nice if you fly from Burbank. I like it when a city builds a stadium to be used once. I think single-use stadiums are a great idea. It's like the big Legos. You build it, and then you're like, now what? It's like one giant soccer game, then occasional small local dog festivals.

When I was in Sochi that year, it's like on the water, so it wasn't cold enough. They had snow machines the whole time. In Russia. They could have just the whole time. Yeah. In Russia. They could have just gone north. It's a scam. It's a scam. The Olympics takes this one. Alright, we gotta

cruise. We've analyzed each of them. Now it's time for the Elite Eight of scams. Firefessel versus Theranos. What do you think? Theranos. Give it to Theranos. It's going to Theranos. But I see at Ja, I just love him, and I want him to win. That's not how this works.

This is losing. This is better. But it's about who I like the best. Credit scores versus Ozzy. You're not supposed to root for the scams. Credit scores. We're getting into credit scores. It's not even close.

Credit scores. All right. Then we got Jamie Spears versus Wells Fargo. That is a tough fight. Wells Fargo is worse. Wells Fargo is worse is a tough fight. Wells Fargo is the worst. Wells Fargo is the worst. Wells Fargo takes it. Not going to be our toughest competition.

Make your own guac, bro. Make your own guac. The Bucknell of the bracket, Chipotle guacamole versus Duke the Olympics. Make your own guac. We're giving it to the Olympics. Make your own guac. We're giving it to the Olympics. We're giving it to the Olympics.

But you know what I mean about how they scoop that fucking guac. No one knows what you mean. You know what real people do. Wow. You coastal fucking jerks don't know how much the real people are dealing with the guacamole issue. All right? And by the way, sometimes if you don't get it in the cup and they scoop it on top of your burrito bowl, it's incredibly variable how much you're going to get.

You know, they've had multiple E. coli outbreaks. I will tell you about a scam I pulled, which is that after the E. coli scare, they'll just give you a cup of Chipotle. You don't even have to pay. You're in Southern California, Los Angeles, and you're getting burritos and guac at Chipotle?

This is my question. Now come on now. Now come on now. That's the grift. That's the scam. God damn it. Here we go. Let me shake your hand. Thank you, sir. That's correct. Chipotle. Give me a break with that. Chipotle. Here's the thing.

You got any problems with Subway? What do you want to do? Sometimes I don't want great tacos sometimes what i want is chipotle i don't think of those as the same things in the same way that i don't consider do you want to go get a burger never leads me to mcdonald's i go to mcdonald's when i want mcdonald's cup backstage. Oh, my God. What is happening? You know I saw it, bro.

Yeah. The point is. What is the point? The point is. All right, guac, bro. Final four. Theranos versus Credit Scores. Credit Scores. Can I motion for Ja again?

I want him to win. No, Ja's out. Ja is out. All right. Credit Scores takes it. And then Wells Fargo versus the Olympics. It's tough. That's a tough fight.

Olympics. Olympics versus Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo almost brought down the global financial system. Wells Fargo has ruined more lives than the Olympics. No, you're right. The impact is worse on the people. Wow. Wow.

Look at this. This is a tough, tough, what do you call the final two? Finals. Championship. The finals. The sports ball. The final match. It is credit scores versus Wells Fargo.

I would say that is a. No. The question is, which one would go away if the other wasn't there? That's right. Well, it's Frankenstein versus Frankenstein's monster in a lot of ways. Banks can't exist without credit scores. Yeah, but Wells Fargo is one bank. Credit scores is like the system that all the banks got together to build the fuck us all.

Credit scores are the Borg, you know? They'll absorb us into their collective. Wow, the biggest crypt of them all, defeating Jamie Spears, Theranos, Ozzy, the greatest scam. Also defeating the other great scam in our society, Chipotle guacamole announced. The greatest scam

is living in Southern California and giving a shit about Chipotle guacamole. Credit scores are the winner. Thank you so much to Sam Sanders and Adam Conover they'll be back for hot takes we'll be right back

that was awesome, that was great and we're back I have some terrible news it's that time of the year again time for the clocker fuck the cluster clock the old circadian switcheroo the return of standard time It's that time of the year again. Time for the clocker fuck. The cluster clock. The old circadian switcheroo.

The return of standard time and the end of daylight saving time. Joining me now to take a stand against this obscene practice for dorks and maniacs is the man behind Lock the Clocks and Internet Crank for Justice, Scott Yates. Hi, Scott. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. All right. Scott, what is wrong with us that we care so much about this issue?

Nothing's wrong with us. It's a killer. It's annoying for everybody, and for some people, it's really deadly. And how close do you think we are right now to getting something done in Congress? You know Washington a lot better than I do. That's true. I'm an expert. I mean, you know, I started this eight years ago and there was nothing. There were no federal bills, there were no state bills, nothing. We've had 20 states that have now passed something, a resolution

or a law saying we want to go into permanent daylight time or something like that. So we've had 20 states, we've had another 20 states that have considered it. We didn't used to have any federal bills, now we have two federal bills that have lots of co-sponsors and this crazy bipartisan thing where Ed Markey and Marco Rubio both agree on something like that never happens.

Yeah. I mean, I think, and Patty Murray as well, she gave a speech today about it. So one reason I like this issue and care about this issue is there's a lot of issues that are ideological or that involve like hard sacrifices or questions about the budget, about where our priorities are. But this isn't one of them. This doesn't cost anything really. It's just a question of what we want. Like, how do we want our days to be? Are we willing to look at evidence and allow it to change our practices? I agree with you a hundred percent. And it's also just good government, right? Like if somebody snuck into your house and moved your alarm clock so that it

woke you up an hour earlier than your body was expecting, you'd be so mad at that person. And yet the government does it, you know, every year. And we just are like, yeah, okay, the farmers, you know. So by the way, the thing that this is for farmers is a myth, right? Yeah. And it's a myth that was created actually on purpose. There was actually a retailer in Boston that wanted to have more time in the sun after work for people to shop. And he said, look, if I go out and I say we need more time for people to shop, nobody's going to go for it. But if we say the farmers want it, then maybe they'll go for it. And so it was a big PR con job all the way through. So now one issue underneath this, right, there is money at stake. I think the reason you see someone like Marco Rubio getting behind this is Florida is a tourism state.

They want people to stay out late, go to restaurants, go to the parks, be outside. But one of the hangups has often been that New York, home to the TV industry, isn't interested in us having later daylight because they want us at home watching our fucking boob tubes. Yeah, they don't want you outside having fun being on a bike or being out. Yeah, they want you on a screen, especially the live sports people, right? Like because that's the stuff that's the most time you know, the game starts at six o'clock

whatever the time zone is. And so they want you inside watching that. So they want it dark. They want you at home watching sports. Right. Sports ball. Now the proposal that Rubio, Mar Markey and I believe Patty Murray endorses for permanent daylight saving time nationwide. As you know, I am not for that. Right. And I want you to talk. So my proposed solution, which I'm also going to we're going to try to talk to Patty Murray about I'm going to try to talk to Ed Markey about it again, is right now states have two options. They can choose permanent standard time, which is what Arizona does, and also Hawaii and Puerto Rico. Or they can choose

to switch between daylight saving time and standard time around now. There's no third option, which is permanent daylight saving time. Correct. My view is don't make all states switch together because, as Adam pointed out earlier, there are some states that that's not really great for because while it is, I think, good for a lot of places like California and Massachusetts to have more daylight in the evening, especially in the winter when in places like Maine and Massachusetts, the sun will set at four o'clock, 345. There are states on the western edge or northern parts of time zones where if they are in daylight savings time year round, then all of a sudden they're having super late sunsets in the summer and super late sunrises in the winter. And together that really screws with their sleep cycles as well.

Right. You know, I wrote a blog post about celebrities that have taken a stand on daylight saving time. And you were the you were at the top of the list. And say more. the list. And your view is the most nuanced of all the celebrities, which is great. And you're not wrong. And if your solution were to happen, I'd be totally in favor of that. Being the most nuanced of celebrities is like having the best pizza in Boston, you know? The only problem with your solution is this. If states can start to do whatever they want switch permanent daylight time permanent standard time then you get into this real patchwork thing and you also get into a situation where they can change whenever they want no no no no no that's not no because that's not right so i agree we do not want to patchwork the reason we have the

uniform time act of 1966 which is an update on on the previous to the time zones, is you don't want to patchwork. You don't want to have it be every three days is a different time. You don't know where a time it is anywhere. But what I'm talking about is basically a period of time where states basically decide. A lot of states already have passed measures in their state legislatures that say if Congress gives us the ability, we switch to permanent daylight saving times. We give states a year, and we basically say, hey, this is your period. Please choose. Standard time, permanent daylight saving time, or the continued inane, deadly, stupid-as-fuck, mind-warping, dog-freaking-out-of switcheroo. And then once everyone's decided,

really then what we're talking about is just two different time zone maps, one during daylight saving time and one during permanent time, right? Yeah, I think the idea of allowing states to do something that continues to kill people, right, the switch, that's the thing that's really deadly. I think that the proper role of federal government is to say, look, no more switching the clocks. And you've got one or two years, whatever the time period is, to say you've got to figure out what time zone you want to be in. It's a tricky question.

But I do think that points to kind of two potential outcomes. One is, which are both different than what Rubio and Markey have proposed. Rubio and Markey have just said, permanent daylight saving time across country. I think that's bad policy. But I am very open to one of two compromises, one in which people have three options, and they can continue to do the switch. So some states may not change anything, because there are a few places in the country where based on how winter is and how summer is, it's not that other than the switch, which obviously is a problem, it is good in their kind of sweet spot to continue to switch to maximize midday light. You would think so. And I've gone to those states. Like I testified in Kansas. I testified in Nebraska. And I said to the people of Nebraska and Kansas, I said, look, you guys are on the far

western edge of your time zone. Part of your state is split off into the mountain time zone. Why don't you think about just going to standard time? You could do that right now, and you would solve the problem, and you wouldn't have those really late sunrises in the winter. And they said, look, all my constituents tell me all the time, we want the permanent daylight time. We already are going to school and work in the dark in the winter. We don't really care about that. It'd be nice to have a little bit more sunlight. After school, the kids have a little more time to play. That's the solution that we want, so that's what we want to do.

I think that's it. So basically, that's basically saying that even places that might technically, based on some data, benefit from the switch, they still don't want it. Correct. Interesting, interesting, interesting. Yeah, I mean, I advocated for that.

You know, I went to them and I said, you should think about standard time, and they're like, no, no, we don't. And so it may be that they go through a winter of being in daylight time and be like, okay, you know what, uncle, you know, maybe that was right. That is a real possibility, right? Because if we go to permanent daylight saving time, there may be parts of the country that are very upset with us. Because they're like, it's so fucking dark. Now, Scott is such an expert in time.

He actually wrote us a lightning round about daylight saving time, which I will now pose to you, our audience. I want to know that these questions, this is what the research suggests, but love it or leave it, is not able to independently verify these claims. These are Scott's claims. And we'll go to him to elucidate any data that we're not certain about. You will have to answer true or false. Would somebody out there like to play the game?

Hi, what's your name? Hi, I'm Katie. Hi, Katie. Are you ready for the lightning round? All right. These are questions about the actual harm of daylight saving time and the switch that Scott has provided. Are you ready? While we were waiting for the show, I read the New York Times article on this.

I am so ready. Wow. All right. That's fantastic. Clock changing makes people worse at video games. True. That's true. Really? Yeah. You rob an hour of sleep from somebody. They lose their fast twitch muscle virus. Clock changing makes judges give harsher prison sentences. Oh, that's definitely true. Wow. Really? Yeah, that is true. The thing I love about that one is if you asked any individual judge if he gave harsher

sentences, he or she gave harsher sentences, because they lost an hour of sleep, they'd say, no, of course not. But when you look at all of the numbers, they do. Wow. They also give harsher sentences right before lunch. I knew the lunch thing is really, yeah, you got to get a judge on a full stomach and a good night's sleep. Otherwise, you're fucked.

Clock changing makes a rich woman beg and a good woman steal. True or false? False. That's false. It's from John Cougar. Standard time means more animals get killed by cars. Oh, God. That's definitely true. It is. It's true. It is. Clock changing makes doctors and nurses make more medical errors. True.

Same issue. God. Standard time means less bike riding. True. Can't bike at night. It's too dark. I tried biking in this city after dark. It's like taking your life in your hands. That's biking in this city at any time. Yeah, it's true. People aim for you.

DST makes it impossible to understand the film Tenet. It was possible to understand the film Tenet anyway? Sure. Permanent DST is dangerous for school children waiting for the bus. True. So that is often trotted out as an explanation for why dark in the morning during the winter would be bad.

But is there no evidence for that? What's the deal? There is no evidence for that. Washington State studied this extensively, as did Massachusetts. There's no evidence that it's any more dangerous for school kids waiting for buses. Absolutely not. It is the thing that's trotted dangerous for school kids waiting for buses. Absolutely not. It is the thing that's trotted out as the reason that we shouldn't do it. If you're interested in pedestrian safety, what you want is permanent daylight saving time because with more daylight, kids and all pedestrians are safer in the afternoon rush hour.

Interesting. Interesting. Clock changing takes 12 minutes off the average marathon time. True? What? That's true. No, that is true. The marathons that are run on the Sunday after the spring forward time change.

An extra hour of sleep. Yeah, it's an extra hour of sleep. We got a mouthy runner in the front row. Researchers don't subject mice to daylight savings time clock changes. True? Yeah, they don't. That's true.

The government does it to us, but they let the rats leave in. And finally, clock changing helps us understand Kirsten Sinema. I'm going to go with false. That's false. Yeah, nothing understands that. You've won the game. Scott Yates, give it up for our time expert. Lock the clocks.

What's the website? SEO.tt slash time. Or just Google lock the clock. Lock the clock. Yeah. Thank you, Scott. Before we get to the rest of the show, Love It or Leave It is coming to New York Comedy Festival next week.

The show is here, and it is going to be awesome. Join me in a lineup of incredible guests on November 12th at the Beacon Theater. Tickets are on sale now. For more information, head to crooked.com slash events. Also, the holidays are almost here and we have really awesome stuff in the Crooked store.

We have stuff for gifts. We really do have cool stuff in the store. Go to crooked.com slash store and there's really great stuff in there. When we come back, we have a very special guest. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It. And there's more on the way. And we're back. We are currently in our third month of conversation, debate and quietly sobbing in congressional bathrooms, all in an effort to hammer out the specifics of the Build

Back Better plan. I don't know about you all, but I need a break. Joining me now to help us relax with a festive, completely nonpolitical cooking segment, it's Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Hi. Come on up here, Nancy. Hello. I look very surprised all the time.

Very surprised all the time. Hello. Oh, hello, John. Thanks so much for having me. It's so good to get out of D.C. and let my hair down. I'm even wearing a slightly different shade of

pantyhose. I'm really cutting loose. I know, I'm not really wearing pantyhose. It's your imagination. It's free. Use it. I'm so glad you could be here, Nancy. Now, when the show reached out, I assume you wanted to get the word out

about the reconciliation bill. See, the lighting is so bad in here, John. I've seen better lighting in a Macy's dressing room. Nancy goes to... Nancy's a blooming I know a good sale when I see one are you here to talk about the reconciliation bill oh no absolutely not

I'm here to cook yes that's the one thing that always relaxes Nancy no matter how many people are tweeting at me about the whole you know K, kente cloth moment. I get it, everyone. It was not the right time. Though I ask you, John, is there, when can I wear all my kente cloth? Probably.

Probably never, Madam Speaker. Either way, I'm glad you decided to come here to teach us how to make one of your favorite Thanksgiving dishes. Yes. That's right, John. I'm just like decided to come here to teach us how to make one of your favorite Thanksgiving dishes. Yes. That's right, John. I'm just like every average grandmother out there. Who's third in line for the presidency? No, I'm actually second in line because the president is already the president, so he's not in line. Right.

Okay. That's a good point. Okay. That's a good point. Okay, great. But you've been in office for over three decades. Yes. And you have a freezer just for ice cream.

Yes, and a fridge for just embryonic facial serum. Embryonic facial serum? That's gross. No, it's a very misleading name. It's just actually, it's just a cleanser. I don't care. That one was for me. Anyway, if you're like me, sometimes you use a mirror to practice putting a thumbtack into the meat of your thigh while maintaining a frozen smile. Jesus.

Well, the point is, you're busy. And we're busy gals. We're busy gals. We're busy gals. A couple of busy gals. And what's easier and faster and more delicious and more American, right? And more American. More American than ambrosia salad.

Oh, no. What is ambrosia salad, Nancy Pelosi? Well, you've never had ambrosia salad, John. No, I guess not. Oh, why, it's a mixture of classic salad ingredients covered in a subtle dressing, pure sour cream. I have the recipe written down right here, so I don't forget any of the steps, okay? Mm-hmm. All right.

So you start by adding a bag of mini marshmallows. You do that, and you just add them, you add them. Yep. And they go into the bowl along with some shredded delicious coconut flakes. Yikes. Okay. All right. Now let me just check this recipe.

Oh, Jesus. What's wrong, Nancy? Fuck me. Fuck me. Well, it looks like someone scratched out coconut and wrote, Hate these won't eat maybe chocolate chips. Sincerely, Joe Manchin. Well, that's fine, John.

That's fine? That's fine. That's not a problem. We'll just pick out the flakes, just one by one. We'll just get the flakes out. We'll just pick out the flakes, just one by one. All right, we'll just get them out of there. Just get them out of there. Okay, okay.

It's perfect. It's just, this is going to be perfect for a congressional potluck or perhaps a funeral for For the middle class? All right. Come on, Nancy. Just because Joe Manchin doesn't like something doesn't mean you have to change everything. Oh, you think so, John? Maybe you could leave some of the coconut in there.

Okay. Yeah, you're right, John. Just a little coconut seems more than reasonable. And if Joe Manchin doesn't like it, he can kiss my grits. Kiss my grits? Your district is in San Francisco. Yeah. Okay. Next step, add the mandarin oranges.

Here we go. This is ambrosia salad. It's weird. It's mandarin oranges. You just mix it up in the bowl. Okay. Okay. Wait a second.

Hold on. Wait a second. Nancy sees something. Nancy sees something. Nancy sees something. This is my first live show in a very long time. And it's for having fun. In a very long time. How great.

I mean, most of the people I work with are half dead, so this is a live show. It's a live show. You're Nancy Pelosi. Yes. Okay, so someone has crossed that out, too, and written, Ew, why are these oranges wet? Disgusting. How about pecans?

Yours, the problem solvers. More like the problem creators. Fuck. It's a moderate caucus in the house. John, just help me pick out the oranges. All right, we'll get the oranges out of here. Okay, we've got to get the oranges out of there. Let's get the oranges out of there.

Hit this one guy. Jesus. All right. But, Nancy, who cares if people think oranges aren't good? Who cares? I have to care, John. It's a metaphor. And everyone has to like it, John.

Yeah. Okay? Well, that's fair. But maybe there's a good reason they're being picky. Maybe they're allergic or something. No. No? No. No?

No, they're not, John. They specifically told me in several closed-door meetings over the summer that they would eat ambrosia salad. Everyone was all in on ambrosia salad. Okay, okay. Well, let's just maybe relax and finish this recipe. Because I feel like it's just stressing you out more. And that's not what this was about, you know?

Okay, well, I have never been more relaxed in my whole life, John. And I absolutely love being in charge of complicated recipes that even the people making it seem to hate. Yeah. I absolutely don't want to give up and just eat the dog food that the Republicans keep bringing to the potluck. No, I don't. Do they really bring dog food to the potluck? Yes. Well, they cross out dog and write people food on the bag. But no one falls for it. Oh, really? No, except Louie Gohmert,

who fell for it a couple times, but I don't know why. I mean, he brought the bag. He brought the bag? Yeah, he brought the bag, and everyone acts like it's my fault because I just can't please all these people. Yeah.

And I seem out of touch, and I don't understand things or how to be cool on Snapchat or these new teak things. I don't get it. I think it's pronounced tech. I think you mean tech things. I don't even care.

I don't even care what we make right now. I just want to make something. You think I like ambrosia salad, John? I don't know. I mean, I guess we have to add. You think I eat marshmallows with sour cream? I'm an 81-year-old woman who works 16 hours a day, John. A day. But my diet does allow me to watch British baking show, all the British baking show that I want.

Seems pretty bleak. No, I know. But Dems from California and Connecticut want a special tax cut for rich people. Yes, they do. Get it in the recipe, Nancy, they say. Get it in the recipe. Kirsten Sinema's pissed for an activist following her into the restroom at a Chico's in Scottsdale. Change the recipe, Nancy.

Oh, Nancy, New Jersey's a swing state. Did you know that? Oh, no. Did you know that? Probably should have cooked faster, Nancy. You know what I say? You know what I say? What do you say?

I say kiss my grits. Kiss my grits. You are an Italian-American from Baltimore. No, I know. That's goddamn right. And you'll eat this Midwestern pig slop the way... You're going to eat it the way that Chuck Schumer eats an extra Snickers when he gets lucky at the vending machine.

Fast, messy, and with tears of fucking gratitude. Okay, I'll eat the ambrosia salad. I'll eat the ambrosia salad. And that is the way that it is done, John. I'll do it. We'll do it. We'll eat the ambrosia salad. Okay.

Nancy Pelosi, everybody. No, I... Listen. I'll tell you something. Okay. I'm do it. We'll do it. We'll eat the ambrosia salad. Nancy Pelosi everybody. I'll tell you something. I'm going crazy. I am the hero that Twitter deserves. I am. If it's not me, it's Feinstein. She's eight years older than me. She could have been my babysitter.

Nancy Pelosi everybody. Dianne Feinstein could have been her babysitter. When we come back, hot takes. And we're back. Welcome back to the stage, our wonderful guests, Sam Sanders, Adam Conover, and Michaela Watkins. Now it's time for hot takes. You know how it works.

We have never seen these takes. We will have to defend them. We have a timer, one minute? Sweet. All right, let's see the first hot take. We have to defend the take. Children under the age of five should not be allowed to fly. This has been assigned to me.

Children under the age of five should not be allowed to fly. I'll tell you why. There's been a lot of talk about who's unvaccinated in this country and who is vaccinated in this country. But you know what group has gotten zero vaccines? A group of anti-vaxxers called

zero to four-year-olds. These people are relying on all the rest of us to do what Fauci says and have immunity. And by the way, these little shits, they are terrible with masks. Terrible at wearing masks. They're always under the nose.

They're always crying. What is this? I don't understand germ theory. What's next? Oh my God! Janet deserves the blame. Justin is innocent. It has been assigned to Sam.

Janet deserves the blame. Give me another one. Nope, that's it. That's it. That's it. You have one minute. Get to defending it. That's your view.

Okay. Express it. Well, start the clock. I'm going to just use this minute to actually argue that Janet is the best Jackson, better than Michael. Hear me out. She's a more versatile artist. Her albums covered more genres, more types of music.

She got Grammy nominations in five different types of categories of music. She did more different choreography. She was all over the place. People are still doing what Janet was doing years ago. Stop the clock until he starts doing the actual... I'm not going to rant. I'm not going to say anything about Janet Jackson. I can't do it.

You can't do it. Give me a new one. There's no... I am the host. This is what was assigned. All right, start it again. Start it again. I'll try.

Start it again. I'll try. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. You know what? Senorita is a great Justin Timberlake song. He's probably the best singer of NSYNC. Probably.

No, JC Chazet was quite nice. This fucking sucks, bro. I didn't know who... When I was a kid, I did not know who to have a crush on in NSYNC. You know what I mean? Kevin from the Backstreet Boys. Well, it was more, well, sure.

That was the one. But it was, the JC of it all was very hard to sort through. It was very hard to deal with. Because obviously there was Justin, kind of the drawing the most attention, drawing the most light, drawing the most gravity. But then there's JC. Does that work for me? JC's first solo album was great. Schizophrenic. It's a classic. Anyway, the point

is, Janet knew what she was doing. Whoa! No! Justice for Janet. The Penguin, Simon, and Schuster publishing merger is a good thing that definitely violates zero laws and won't hurt the industry at all. Adam Conover. These are tailored

for us specifically. Apparently. I, as a famous antitrust crusader. How could I possibly make an argument? Look. Okay, yeah, start the clock. I'll fucking do it. I'll show you how it's done.

All right? Go ahead. All right. You love Harry Potter. You love Malcolm Gladwell. You love Harold and the Purple Cray crayon wouldn't it be great if they could all hang out right and make and make us and make a literary universe wouldn't that be fun wow harold learns about outliers or whatever the fuck i don't know it would be it would be great

let's why don't we turn these into media properties? You know what I mean? Like, let's just franchise them. Like, synergies can happen when you bring words together and just mush them all around and mess it like that. You know what I mean? And when you only have one or two people deciding what gets published, well, those one or two people probably get pretty smart right you did it that's one minute that's one minute what's up next for Michaela I am

nervous $65,000 is the right amount of money per year to pay for high school. Jesus. Oh, well, I did go to public school, so this is very, yeah, I guess it's tailor-made for me. What? All right, oh, we're starting the clock. Okay, yeah, you know what? Education is not free. Education is not free.

Do you know what's free? I'll tell you what's free. Being dumb, that not free. Do you know what's free? I'll tell you what's free. Being dumb. That's free. YouTube. Free. QAnon. Free.

You know what's not free? Calculus. You know why? I don't know. I failed it. Because I went to public school. I guarantee if my parents were paying for calculus, I'd't know. I failed it. Because I went to public school. I guarantee if my parents were paying for calculus, I'd show up. But I didn't.

Because I liked pot. Give me incentive. Give me a reason to show up. Give me a reason to set an alarm. Give me a reason to not make mixtapes all night. Give me a reason. Yes make mixtapes all night. Give me a reason. Yes! That's one minute.

Heaven forfend what's next. You know, I don't know what's next. I'm excited for in-person Black Friday shopping. Wait, there's another round? There's another round. Don't worry, you're good, you're good. We got you. I am very excited for in-person Black Friday shopping because here's why. I think a lot of our consumer culture, the kind of pointy,

metallic, knife-like qualities are often covered with a kind of a soft cotton layer of marketing and delusion and denial and cultural expectations. What's great about Black Friday in-person shopping is in the scrum, in the race to get the cheap TV, the one that they have, all of that cotton kind of breaks away. And all that's left is the gnashing teeth of our enterprise, of people who want more than what their income will allow them to have, because we live in a

culture that tells everyone to want totally and fully and to indulge at all times while also being told that our failures to save and our failures to diet and our failure to hold back with our bare hands a river of fucking marketing and expectations and shit is our own personal uh failings as that we're not trying hard enough we're not strong enough we don't have the discipline and i think when i am stepping on the arm of an old woman desperately trying to get the three oled versions of the nintendo switch that are available in all of southern california and she screams in pain and I say, shut the fuck up, you old crone. I want to play Zelda on an airplane in crystal fucking clear blacks.

That's when I think that that's our American system revealed in its purest essence. Wow. And that's why I'm excited about Black Friday shopping. What's next? Brian, be nice to me. Santa Khan is great from Adam.

Yeah. I mean, of course Santa Con is great. Who doesn't love getting so drunk that you throw up on your own Santa costume in the middle of the street in New York City when other people are just trying to get to their goddamn open mic, you know? Like, hey, frankly, people shouldn't be trying to do stand-up comedy open mics in New York City. It's not a good life to be a stand-up comedian. It's not something to be aspiring to. So, of course, we should shut down three entire city blocks for an entire day in the middle of December so that an entire community of starving artists can't do the thing that they are paying $2,000 a month to live in a railroad apartment to do.

That's my argument. Do people remember SantaCon? Because I barely do. Okay. Yeah, I think it was good. All right. I have ten seconds left. Do people remember SantaCon? Because I barely do. Okay. Yeah, I think it was good. All right. I have ten seconds left.

I think you're right, and I think it's good when people hide themselves in the costume of a fantastical North Pole god and pretend the city belongs to them. I think that's great while being blackout drunk. What do we have next? Hot people or better people? Michaela. That's an easy one.

Yeah. Listen. She's walking down the stairs. I wasn't always this gorgeous. Once, I was asked, are you a girl at a roller skating park? You want to know something else? I used to hurt worms.

But I'm different now. I'm quite beautiful. I stop traffic with my gorgeousness. Definitely. Grease. And I give to various charities of my choosing. You see? 18 seconds.

Being hot, it's not just something you are. It's a job. And you gotta take it seriously. And if you're just hot and shitty, well, you're just a waste of hotness. So, you know, go ahead. Be gorgeous, but own it.

Be a good person. Yes. What do we got next? How many? No, we already did that one. Are we out? I'm going to give you one. Here's what you're going to defend. Munger Hall, the windowless dorm they're planning to build at

Santa Barbara. You think it's great. No, I think you fucking signed up for the scam. That is UCSB. Go ahead. Go the fuck ahead. Let me tell you what you could do. Go to the college nearest to your motherfucking mama's house and commute. That's what I did for a while. It worked. I don't think college is supposed to mean all the frills. College is class. College is school. College is take the goddamn test. If you need the student

center and the fancy dorm and the fancy food and the Wolfgang Puck ski trip on Christmas break, then like, screw you. Screw you. Screw you. In my day. In his day. College was suffering. It was suffering. It was pain.

Uphill both ways. It was hard. They was pain. Uphill both ways. It was hard. They still gave Cs then. You had to do it twice, like me. Yeah, so fuck them kids. Fuck them kids. And that's Hot Takes. Completely lost control of the show today.

Give it up for Sam Sanders, Mikayla Watkins, Adam Conover. When we come back, we're going to do a high note. And we're back. We're going to do one high note. I can look. I can do it. I'm just going to read some of them that I'm not going to do.

I taught my mom what a pauper is. I saved two people from being recruited to Scientology. I fought a praying mantis and lived. Hi, Amarachi, what is your high note? I interviewed to be a court-appointed special advocate for children in the foster system or the dependency court system. And not only was I,

did I get the volunteer job, but I was fast-tracked to start training next week. So I will be matched to a kid by the end of the year. So that will be really great. That's great. Thanks, Amaraji. Thanks to everybody who submitted high notes. And thanks to everybody who called in.

If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 213-262-4427. We'll be using recorded high notes again all through November. That is our show. Thank you to Scott Yates, Adam Conover, Sam Sanders, Michaela Watkins, everybody who wrote us a high note. Special thanks to Andrew Dwiggins

for making this week's song. There are 367 days until the midterm elections and buckle up because it's going to be harder than we thought. Have a great weekend and see you all next week. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our senior producer.

Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gunalan and Peter Miller are the writers. Our associate producer is Brian Semel. Bill Lance is our editor and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Marissa Meyer for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Nara Melkonian and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman and Matt DeGroot for filming and editing video each week so you can.