Lovett or Leave It - Handmaid’s Fail

Episode Date: December 9, 2017

A government shutdown looms!!! Trump stumps for Roy Moore even as resignations over sexual misconduct pile up on the Hill. Republicans experience memory loss on Russia. (And, lose) Comey’s tweets are just terrible. And Donald Trump, Jr. - not a lawyer - invokes attorney-client privilege in a conversation with his father - not a lawyer. Andy Daly, Jenny Yang, and Emily Heller join Jon to break down the week and figure out why a person would pretend to be a sign language interpreter.

What is up? Thank you. Look at these friends of the pod in the front row. You're behind. Man, you know what? That's tough. That's tough. You are 100%

watching a Christmas tree and listening to a podcast. I'm going to check in with you now and again. Because otherwise you're just in your car on the way to work. There's no difference. What's his name? Ryan?

Uh-huh. When you sat down, did you think about it? Did you take one for the team? Was it a conversation? He's a good husband. To who? Oh, that's nice. That's gay people getting married.

Don't get a cake in Colorado. It's a whole thing. That's a little more nuanced than we want to admit. Make me this fucking cake. Call me faggot. Make me this fucking cake. Call me faggot. Make me the cake. Oh, you don't like gay marriage? Make it beautiful.

You think my lifestyle is wrong? Put your heart and soul into it. Capture our fucking love in the cake. Oh no, I'm not allowed to have this opinion. You don't support my lifestyle. Chocolate with a vanilla frosting. Two guys fucking on top of the cake.

Oh, this was illegal in Colorado two years ago? Now it's illegal not to make me a cake with two guys jerking each other off. It's 2017. Make me the fucking cake. Actually, you don't understand. It's a slippery slope. I understand it's a slippery slope. I understand. I know what I'm supposed to think. Make me the fucking cake. We won. All right, let's start the show. First of all, guys, Love It or Leave It is going on tour. We just announced dates in Portland, Seattle, Oakland, San Diego, Denver, Austin, Miami, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Sacramento. So you can go to crooked.com slash events right now. Through Sunday,

you use the pre-sale code loveit. After that, you just buy them, you know. But we're going to go on tour, so it's going to be awesome, you know. Also, love it or leave it in London. So if you're in London and you're hearing this, So if you're in London and you're hearing this, Brexit your way into the... Love it or Brexit. Brexit or leave it. Whatever. Buy the fucking tickets. Oh, I'm in a mood. I had a bunch of Dayquil. All right. I'm going to bring out our panel. She's a former labor organizer turned stand-up comedian, writer, and actor.

She produces the Disoriented Comedy Tour and the Comedy Comedy Festival. Please welcome Jenny Yang. How you doing, Jenny? I'm great. He's an actor, comedian, and star of Comedy Central's show Review. Please welcome Andy Daly. Hello. How exciting. I listen to this show all the time,

so it's weird to be here. That's cool. Yeah. You know, I was saying backstage that I'm afraid to ask people, and then I find out that they like the show already, you know? Yeah. And here you are. But I feel like I should be washing dishes or on the elliptical. It's strange to be here. I just want to let you know that we're anti-elliptical here at Love at a Limit. I know you are, and I do want to talk to you about that, because I feel that if I have my heart rate up for 30 minutes, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. But we can talk about that later. I'm just saying, it's like, it tells your legs where to go, you know? It's like the elliptical's in charge. Some of us need that help.

Why isn't it a bike? Why isn't a bike an elliptical? I think I won that. Andy's got points on the board. I'm going to be hostile to him all night to reclaim my, you know... She's a comedian, TV writer, and co-host of the podcast Baby Geniuses.

Please welcome Emily Heller. Thank you. I am also on Team Elliptical. Yeah, right? Yeah, it's easier. Why are we acting like that's not a benefit? I'm barely at the gym. You know what I mean?

Just blind. You could lose me so fast if it's not easy enough. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. Anyway, how's it going? Just, I guess it doesn't work for me to do the elliptical leg move on a podcast. I think it's working good. Keep going.

Don't forget, your hands can sometimes help out too. True. Very true. Alright, let's get into it. What a week. What a week. Ryan, behind the Christmas tree, it's been a week. The House narrowly avoided a government shutdown by passing a two-week extension on the budget.

The current resolution expires on December 23rd. That means Congress has to pass a budget to keep the government open by Friday, December 22nd. In order for the Senate to get the 60 votes necessary, Republicans need to convince some Democrats to support a bill. At this point, Democrats are demanding action on DACA to protect DREAMers, dollar-for-dollar increase in non-defense programs, meaning that for every dollar we increase on defense, they must also pay for things like veterans care and transportation and parks, et cetera, and scientific research, a stabilization on the Affordable Care Act, and Republican leaders have said that negotiations on immigration should be kept separate. So this is the source of the debate. In a letter to Paul Ryan this week,

more than 30 House Republicans expressed support for passing a solution on DACA as well. So there was a question as to whether or not we would have this shutdown fight this week leading into this resolution. It seems like we have gone along with an extension. I'm not sure about the wisdom of that, but we're hurtling towards yet another confrontation. Jenny, do you think we should hold our line on Dreamers? Yeah, I think that the Democrats need to show a spine. I don't believe in when they go low, we go high. They've been being an obstacle when it was their turn to do that.

And now it's our turn because we need to stand for what really matters in the face of all of this chaos. I think this is the time to do it. And we should do it for the undocumented immigrants. You know, I was a documented immigrant and that shit was hard, okay? So I can't even imagine, you you want the people who are the undocumented immigrants who are willing to go through a long process uh to try to be legal

um to be americans because it's way harder than any natural born citizens experience yeah i i do think democrats need to stand up for this, but I also think Republicans just want the government to shut down anyway. The way they're acting, they're like, I mean, look at who Trump has been appointing. You don't put a dog in charge of a restaurant if you want the restaurant to thrive. You know what I mean? You want the restaurant to go out of business. They want it to shut down, but for what reason, I have no idea.

But yeah, I don't know. I'm not a good... I don't know how to play chess, so I'm probably not the person who should answer this question. But I don't know. I mean, I think that they need to stand up for it, but I don't know what's going to happen.

I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. Andy, let's say you're Paul Ryan. Great. All right. That sounds great. That guy does not do the elliptical. No, I know he doesn't.

He fucking pumps iron. He's a CrossFit guy. It's free weights all the time. Cap on backwards. Yeah, he's doing squat jumps. So you just completed 100 squat jumps. And you're not even sweating. No, of course not. You're normal

and you're in a suit. You do the, that's not a workout. Yeah. You're in a suit. Your hairline seems to be getting stronger. Yes.

More Eddie Munster-like. Which is just infuriating. It's like, yeah. Go bald at least from the stress of having no principles. Oh, that's why. Why would you be stressed if you don't? All right, I get it now.

So you're Paul Ryan. I'm Paul Ryan. And Democrats have come to you and they said, we want dreamers, we want obamacare we want government funding and yet you know that republicans control all three branches of government it'll be the first time in the modern era that republicans that that single party control would cause a shutdown yeah uh what would you rather do would you rather capitulate on something oh boy or would you for the politics of we're doing we got people work? Or would you rather say these fucking Democrats, these fucking Democrats, and then do some burpees?

Some burpees, did you say? It's burpees and blaming the Democrats or squat thrusts. And we came to a compromise. I've never heard of burpees before. So what? People are shocked. Is it a workout thing? It's only for true jocks. I mean, if you want to see it, I know how to do them. Really? People are shocked. Is it a workout thing? It's only for true

jocks. I mean, if you want to see it, I know how to do them. Really? It's literally 30 minutes on the elliptical and I'm out of there. Yeah. For me. I feel like if I'm him, it's hard to be him. I would feel like I have already thrown everything

away and burned everything down. What's, you know, fuck it. Shut her down. You're saying shut her down. Shut her down. I don't know, but it doesn't feel good to be here right now. That's what's so terrifying is like,

how do you, I don't even know where to start negotiating with them. He's already thrown his law negotiating with fucking Donald Trump. Like it's already, the crazy things have already happened. There's no penalty for craziness. Not anymore apparently. No penalty for craziness.

That's true. Listen, that wasn't a fun answer to give. They don't have to be fun. We do nuance. We do serious answers. Paul Ryan wouldn't give a fun answer, so it was in character, which I have to give you credit for. Thank you. I think Democrats should, in this negotiation, ask for Donald Trump to resign.

Yeah. That'd be cool. Why are we playing small ball? We have a couple things we want. We want to protect the 800,000 young people who belong in this country, and it's the only country they've ever known. We want to stabilize Obamacare.

We want Trump to resign. We want funding for space. Yes. And then he's like, wait, wait, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can you just, can you go back one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We said Obamacare.

No, no, no. The one after that. The Dreamers? No, no. You said one. Oh, oh, oh. He should resign. He should obviously resign.

And before that, Mike Pence should resign and like Hillary Clinton should be vice president. If Pence resigns, if Pence resigns and Trump resigns, Paul Ryan's president. That's Paul Ryan. I humbly accept the position of president. Paul Ryan's like, you're twisting my arm, Democrats, but I'm for it now. I'll work it in between burpees.

Well played on this scenario. I like that. Anyway, I don't know why Democrats agreed for this short-term extension. I don't know. I feel like it's like a band-aid. Let's go. Dreamers or bust.

Just no one wants to be home with their families for Christmas. This is like they're negotiating with their families. It's like, oh, I guess we're not going to Michigan for Christmas this year. I got to be in D.C. until the 23rd. Schumer. Schumer's like, I got to get out of here. We have be in D.C. till the 23rd. Schumer's like, I gotta get out of here. We have Benihana on Christmas. We're gonna have Benihana, then we're gonna go see three billboards outside wherever the fuck.

Ebling? Ebbing? Ebbing, Missouri. Did you say Missouri? Are you from there or are you just ostentatious and pretentious? Wait, where are you from? You're from Texas. And in Texas you say Missouri. It's Missouri. You're from Missouri.

You're from Missouri and you just say Missouri. But didn't Truman say Missouri? We don't know. You were not alive then. Okay. That beer that you're drinking is enormous. That's your third? Missouri wins. What is your name?

Karista. Karista? Karista from Missouri on her third beer. That's cool. We like Karista. What's your name? Ellen.

Ellen. You guys friends? 26 years. 26 years. That's so nice. Is the drinking part of it? Is that?

That's so nice. Is the drinking part of it? Is that... That's cool. Shut the government down. At least filibuster. Yeah. Well, I think we got rid of that. They're basically writing bills on Post-its and passing them through the House. Trump's in Alabama as we speak saying, vote pedophile, and they're

applauding. It's a weird, weird year. When we come back, a game called Finding Donnie. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back.

Now for a game called Finding Donnie. Now over and over again, Trump officials have had terrible, terrible memories when it comes to contacts with Russian government officials and others tied to Putin and other foreign interests, much like a certain small blue fish voiced by Ellen DeGeneres. They seem to struggle with basic recall. So we are going to play a game called Finding Donnie,

where we see, if you can identify quotes from Trump administration officials on their inability to remember events clearly documented by their previous actions and emails, or quotes by Dory, the character from such Pixar films as Finding Nemo and Finding Dory. Would anyone out there like to play the game? Hi, what's your name? My name's Kim. Kim, where are you from in Texas? Plano, it's outside of Dallas. Plano, Texas, outside of Dallas.

So I'm going to read you about what an I'm going to read you what a Trump administration official said about what they did and it'll be your job to decide which is Dayquil I'm an intimidating person it's okay I am so nervous talking to you Kim

so I'm going to read you about what an I can't to read you about what an admitted... I can't... Kim! Kim, will you focus? Kim, get it together, Kim. You're screwing up the show. I'm sorry. It's okay, Kim.

Let's just start. I'm going to read you about what an official's... Kim. Kim! That's all the time we have for the show tonight? Fuck it, the people at home will know how the game works. The day quill. It's a little bit.

Kim. On December 29th, 2016, Trump's transition advisor, KT McFarlane, wrote in an email to a colleague that sanctions Obama had just announced in retaliation for Russia's election interference were aimed at discrediting Trump's win. She wrote that these sanctions would make it harder for Trump to ease tensions with the Russians,

which had just thrown the U.S. election to him, and noted that Mr. Flynn, you remember Mike Flynn, noted criminal, would be speaking with Russian Ambassador Kislyak. Ah, you remember Mike Flynn, noted criminal, would be speaking with Russian Ambassador Kislyak. Ah, Kislyak. Everywhere, Kislyak. When the Senate Foreign Relations Committee asked whether McFarland knew about Flynn's contacts with the Russian ambassador despite this clear record, she said,

A. I suffer from short-term remember-y loss. B, I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don't really remember yesterday all that well. Or C, I am not aware of any of the events or issues described. I'm going to have to go with C. Kim, you're one for one. It's true. The first two were Dory.

Question number two. Donald Trump's son-in-law and advisor Jared Kushner repeatedly failed to include the following information. More than 100 contacts with foreign leaders or officials, including a December meeting with Russian Ambassador Kislyak, emails with Trump's team about WikiLeaks, and a backdoor overture from Russia during the 2016 election campaign, two contacts with Russian officials during the campaign, and more. These were all things he omitted in his top-secret security clearance and other documents he's provided to investigators. In his statement about these omitted meetings to the Senate Intelligence Committee, Jared Kushner said

A. I do not recall how many people were there or their names, and I have no knowledge of any documents being offered or accepted. B. Well, it's a long story, and truth be told, I don't remember most of it. Or C. P. Sherman, 42, Wallaby Way, Sydney. I, it's a long story, and truth be told, I don't remember most of it. Or C.

P. Sherman, 42, Wallaby Way, Sydney. I remembered it. Now, Kim, this was a trickier one. Two of those were Dory, and one of those was Jared Kushner. I'm going to go with A. Kim, you nailed it. Question number three. During his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Jeff Sessions was asked whether

he knew of continuous contact between Trump surrogates and Russian officials. What did he say under oath? Was it A? I'm not aware of any of those activities. B. No memory, no problems. Or C.

I'm sorry, did I forget again? Those all sound like him. But only one of them was current Attorney General Jeff Sessions. Again, A. Kim, you are 3-4-3. Question number four. According to three White House

advisors and two other sources, Donald Trump Jr. met with a Kremlin-connected Russian lawyer last year who promised to deliver damaging information about Hillary Clinton during the campaign. This week, we learned that the publicist who had initially arranged this meeting sent multiple emails to a Russian participant and to Trump's senior aide, Dan Scavino, former golf caddy, referencing Don Jr., making this the first indication that there was any follow-up from the June 9th meeting. In a closed-door session with Senate investigators this week, Don Jr. responded to numerous questions about that meeting.

What did he say? Was it A? I simply do not remember. Was it B? I forgot. Or was it C. I have short-term memory loss. It runs in my family.

At least I think it does. Okay, this one's hard. This one's a little tricky. A. Again. Four, four, four. So you're a four for four. So you're a four for four. But unfortunately, none of those questions count.

The final bonus question is for the whole enchilada. You would have known that if you had let him get out the rules earlier. This is sort of a like... Kim, you're intimidating me earlier, caused you not to understand the rules of the game Kim how are you?

I'm great How are you? You sound a little congested Kim I feel some tension between us And That's just how our relationship That's called friendship This is friendship

That's what friendship is Okay Final question That's just how our relationship... That's called friendship. This is friendship. That's what friendship is. Okay. Final question. When separated from her family at a young age, the blue tangfish Dory gradually forgets who her family is. When Nemo asks her to provide the identity of her parents, she says, A.

This is a non-story. It's hard to make a comment on something that never happened. B. I don't recall any such context. Or C. I don't want to forget. It's C. It is. It's C.

The non-story comment is by Sarah Huckabee Sanders. The I don't recall any such context is our good pal Jared Kushner. And of course C was Dory. Kim, you're five for five. You have won Finding Donnie. You will receive the parachute gift card. Guys, give it up for Kim from Plano, Texas,

who throughout the game had a kind of, I'm over this shit vibe that we didn't hate. We didn't hate it. He's lying. It's a podcast and you can't tell, but he's lying. I was very enthusiastic. We like Kim. Kim's good.

Kim's good. She's a tough nut to crack. All right, when we come back, OK Stop. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back! Now for a segment called OK Stop.

Here is how it works. We watch a clip and when we feel like it, we say, OK Stop, and then we talk about it. This week, we works we watch a clip and when we feel like it we say okay stop and then we talk about it this week uh we will be watching a clip uh about three members of congress have resigned this week in response to allegations of sexual misconduct senator al franken representative john conyers and representative trent franks meanwhile donald trump who is accused of sexual harassment and abuse by at least 19 women officially endorsed alabama's roy mo, who was accused of sexual harassment and abuse by at least 19 women, officially endorsed Alabama's Roy Moore, who was accused of sexual harassment and assault of minors. His endorsement paved the way for the RNC to return to Alabama

and provide Moore with hundreds of thousands in campaign funding. This clip explores that wonderful development. So you don't believe any of these women, but you believe Roy Moore, who was removed from office after being found to be not credible and misleading. First off, when we talk about believing the women, I would ask the question of maybe some lacrosse players at Duke University and ask them if they believe every woman who makes. Holy shit. That is Moore's campaign manager, Janet Porter, and she is a delight.

By the way, I've never seen anyone feign a satellite delay so they could think of an answer. She blinked so hard, and you could tell she knew when his sentence was done. She almost faked a hand to the ear. Put the Mariah hand up to the ear, yeah. I think the strategy with the Duke lacrosse thing is to make the viewer go,

wait a minute, what happened there? That was a while ago. And you're just distracted by that for a while. One time somebody made something up. Anyway, vote Roy Moore. I also just, look, I am loathe to describe the people during OK Stop because this is a podcast. But I would urge you to look her up because she has this quality of, like, it's like this is a movie about a woman at the end of her rope. And she's somebody who takes pride in being professional and being on top of her shit.

But she's in the middle of a breakdown and she did wake up in her car. And it was a producer from Anderson Cooper saying that she was on in 30 seconds. And so she was grabbed out of the car and sat down in the chair. And they put a mic on and they did a kind of comedic puff of like a giant pad of foundation. Just hit her in the face like in Dumbo or something. Like, you know, like in a cartoon where they're getting somebody ready. And they hit her with that. And then they like her in the chair.

The lights came on, and they said, defend a pedophile. An accusation. If we did a lynch mob media against innocent people. Okay, stop. Can we comment on the lynch mob reference? I feel like the right has now just taken all of the stuff that has happened to progressives and just said, you know what, we're just going to cherry pick your terminology and throw it back against you in your face.

Also, yesterday or something, Roy Moore was like, the last time America was great was during slavery. Yeah, appropriate. That was when lynch mobs were popular. You don't get to use it as an insult insult if you're like pro-slavery era shit. Yeah, it's like this is a lynch mob, but not one of the good ones. Yeah, that's what she means. Not like the lynch mobs in my day.

Have you ever seen that episode of The Twilight Zone where like it's a guy who's on trial for murder, and then he gets executed, and then he wakes up again, and he's back on trial, or he's someone else in the jury, and it just happens, or everyone else changes positions. I just feel like I'm picturing both of them in that situation, where it's just like every day they wake up,

and Anderson Cooper has to have this conversation with this woman, and she has to have this conversation with him, and it's hell for both of them forever. That sounds great. It's like Groundhog Day, huh? I think that's the only way I can get through this video. I want that for her, but I don't want it for him.

Yeah. Well, we were talking about this. Like, his job is so shitty and he doesn't have to do it. He's so rich. Like, I would never do this job of just talking to these stupid people. Yeah, it is definitely just a quality of our era that TV news is world-class journalists interviewing total scumbags.

Yeah. However, I will say, as we continue to watch this, there is some chemistry here. And I wonder if she could be the new Kathy Griffin on New Year's Eve. Because they're having a lot of fun. She's really provoking a lot of deadpan reactions from him. And those are...

Hi, Anderson. It's great to be here with all these sodomites. Here in New York. It's like a Bert and Ernie vibe, you know? He's like... He's just about had enough. It's like a Bert and Ernie vibe, you know? He's like, uh. He's just about had enough. He's so neat, she thinks he's going to hell. There'd be some lacrosse players in jail right now.

Let me tell you really what's at stake here. Isn't there a certain irony that you're accusing these women of lying when he's the guy who has been told unanimously by judges he's been removed twice from his job and judges said he was manipulative because he stood for our religious liberty he stood for marriage and that's why the people of alabama are going to send in the senate you can repeat allegations over and over again but it doesn't make them true because you've named a lot of people your campaign just as you did tonight but your campaign has blamed an awful lot of people

for the accusations being made by women against Roy Moore. I've heard Moore or his supporters, you tonight, blame Doug Jones, George Soros, the DNC, Mitch McConnell, mainstream Republicans, the Washington Post, the lynch mob media, as you call them, homosexuals, transgendered people, and criminals. Can you just explain to me how all these people got together

and came up with this thought against Roy Norton. Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Okay, stop. Oh, Anderson. Anderson Cooper. Come on. I know where they got together.

They got together right fucking here. Yeah. Anderson Cooper. I love it when it's like TV news shade. You know what I mean? It's like, he's like, okay, is this what happened? He literally sat back in his chair. He was just like, I just have to lean into how bitchy this sounds

because there's not an un-bitchy way of asking this question. I've got to see that on New Year's Eve. By the way, you can't see this because it's a podcast But she is about to cry Like she is Her lip was quivering It was like if she was auditioning for A woman about to cry they'd be like

Can we get it one more time and just like bring it down a little bit She didn't realize the list of people they had tried to blame Was quite so long. She's like, let me level with you. I started yesterday, and I am just swamped. And I will be gone tomorrow. If I'm Anderson Cooper, every day I just think to myself, I am too smart and too pretty for this shit.

You know what I mean? Sorry, just one more thing, which is the meeting with George Soros like George Soros and like just a bunch of trans people just sitting at the table and I just like know he knows he's supposed to be comfortable but he's not there yet he's very old

you know and that's not his issue set you know but it's like we gotta do this we're a team yeah the enemy of my enemy he's like we gotta do this we're a team yeah the enemy of my enemy he's like transgender or transsexual he's like asking questions yeah he's got questions

that meeting when they planned to take down Roy Moore with stuff they made up started with a bunch of questions from George Soros about how being trans works that's just the truth and I don't know if there's a conference call that Mitch McConnell and

radical homosexuals are on, but it'd be fascinating to hear that. Okay, stop. Anderson's just here riffing with us. I love to picture it, you know, because every conference call has that moment where we're like, so who do we have here? Yeah, in the office we've got Kevin and the radical homosexuals. Is Mitch McConnell on?

I'll be on mute. I'm here, but I'm on mute. The media lynch mob is going through the canyon. We might lose them. May I respond? Go right ahead. When you have false allegations that are generated by the Washington Post,

there tends to be a pile-on. That's how a lynch mob works. I love how she says generated by the Washington Post like they have some sort of hand-cranked machine in their office that comes up with fake rape accusations yeah Roy Moore spokesperson that is a yeah that is a job to not take how do you do that like she had some like wild flyaways in her hair and I kind of feel like right before the camera started rolling her hair was like perfect and then as soon as the questions started they just popped out on their own

I just think that she went right from this interview to pushing a shopping cart with one loose wheel just down a street just laughing and there's just like,

there's like a cabbage patch doll and a toaster oven. And like... A couple of dogs. A couple of dogs. I think it just, that woman's got, that woman just could lose it. And she will soon be working for a senator.

Yeah, and then she's about to be having an incredibly prestigious job. No, we're going to win. Listen, it's Friday. I donated to Doug Jones. I donated. Just to close this out, Donald Trump is in Alabama right now

explicitly calling on people to vote for Roy Moore despite these obviously very credible allegations, which they haven't been able to refute. We've got friends of the pod in Alabama listening. We've gotten tons of, you know, tweets and pictures of people volunteering and doing their part. And this is, you know, we do not know what's going to happen. The polls are all over the place. There's not been a close race in Alabama for a Senate seat in quite some time. So nobody knows

what's going to happen. So you can support Doug Jones, donate to Doug Jones. You're hearing this over the weekend in Alabama. Keep up the good work. And when we come back, a new game. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.

And we're back. Now for a game called hey hey crooked seven the feeling is mutual uh so here's the deal at crooked media we have launched a new campaign called the crooked seven there are seven republicans in house seats in california in districts that hillary clinton won those in districts that Hillary Clinton won. Those are districts that we're targeting because we believe we can pick up those seats and help put us on the road to winning the House and take that gavel from Paul Ryan's fucking hand. And so we have been talking about just how important it is to defeat these people, not just because it will help us take the house,

but because they're really shitty at their fucking jobs. So when anybody out there like to play Hey Crooked 7, the feeling is mutual. Hey, what's your name? Ferris. Ferris? Yes. So, time and again,

the Crooked 7 have voted against the interests of their constituents. And so we are going to ask you a series of questions about votes and decisions that they've made and how it has hurt their California districts. Let's start. Question number one. members of the Crooked Seven voted in favor of the tax bill, which eliminates the tax deduction for personal losses due to natural disasters, including wildfires. What are the chances of those happening? This week, wildfires ravaged parts of California, leaving many people devastated and without

homes. How did she respond? Was it A? I immediately regret my vote, recognize the error of my ways, and will rectify my mistake by requesting funding to support Californians and all those in states and territories

who are recovering from natural disasters rather than scrounging the tax code for money to pay for tax cuts for billionaire donors. Oh, that could have been it. And it would have been so good. Maybe that's what she said. B, I read the bill closely several times, but somehow missed the elimination of this tax deduction.

I am suing LensCrafters. Maybe it was an eye thing, another good option. Or was it C? Thinking of my friends in Ventura County and praying everyone stays safe. Many thanks to the brave firefighters battling this wildfire. So, Ferris, what did she do?

She did C. She said C. She did. That's what she said. Also, just a tax deduction? Sending love and light? For losing a ton of shit in fires? Just a tax deduction? It was, yeah of shit in fires? Just a tax deduction?

Yeah, it's an elimination of a tax deduction. So, you know, if your house burns down, you get some tax relief. But she's like, no, no. More importantly, that Betsy DeVos' family gets extra billions when the patriarch dies, you know? They get prayers, though,

from her. Prayers. They do get some prayers. Ferris, question number two. On October 1st, a mass shooter carried out one of the worst shootings in U.S. history. Crooked 7 Representative Daryl Issa of California 49th said, quote, horrific news out of Las Vegas this morning,

praying for victims, their families, first responders, and all those affected. We are with you. This week, Representative Issa voted to show how committed he was to this issue. What did his vote do? Was it A, allow gun owners to carry concealed weapons from one state into another, which would mean states could not set their own gun safety policies? Was it B, ban bump stocks, assault weapons, and military-grade weaponry for local police departments, just to

be thorough. Or was it C? Send every American a bulletproof vest and a holster with a post-it that says, kill or be killed, that's the way now, hashtag MAGA. It's A. It is, it's A.

It's A. He did not send everyone a holster, though he might as well. Question number three. School teachers spend an average of $600 of their own money per year to buy supplies for their classrooms. Representative Steve Knight of the California 25th appreciates this and all the work teachers do, tweeting, quote, thank you to all of our teachers who are inspirations and teach our children the skills to succeed in the future. Happy World Teachers Day. Hashtag World Teachers Day. of our teachers who are inspirations and teach our children the skills to succeed in the future. Happy World Teachers Day. Hashtag World Teachers Day. How did he show his support for teachers on the House floor? Was it A? Voted for the GOP tax plan, which eliminates the $250 deduction

teachers receive for buying school supplies out of their own pockets. Was it B? made four of his colleagues spit out their gum? Or was it C? Wrote, fuck you teachers in perfect cursive on the house blackboard. It may have as well have been C, but it was A. It was A. I hope there is a house blackboard. And finally, question number four. You are three for three, Ferris. House Republicans like California 10's Jeff Dunham

have repeatedly promised to help middle class families by cutting their taxes. Recently, he voted on the tax reform bill, the first step, he said, towards significantly lowering the tax burden in the Valley to put more money in people's pockets. However, here's what his vote actually did

for voters in his district. Was it A. Sent every constituent a book on Buddhism and the relationship between material desire and suffering. Was it B. Created a GoFundMe for the American middle class with a picture of a puppy in one of those sad cones to drive the donations?

Or was it C, voted to eliminate state and local tax deductions which allow 90,000 middle income earners in his district to avoid being taxed twice at the federal and state level. So which was it, Ferris? Was it a GoFundMe, a book on Buddhism, or did he vote to handicap local schools and make living in California more expensive because Paul Ryan doesn't give a shit what happens here, but he's supposed to? Which one do you think it might be? It is C. It is.

It is C. So those are just a few of the members of the Crooked 7. You can go to crooked.com slash crooked seven to donate. We partner with Swing Left to raise money. Basically, all these guys, the Democrats are currently in primaries right now in those districts to decide who's going to take on each one of these Republican House members, which also include people like Dana Rohrabacher, who is like Putin's man in Washington. And it's actually insane that he's in Congress. But we are raising money for them through Swing Left and through this Cricket 7 fund so that when the primary is over,

these candidates hit the ground running so they have the resources they need to take on the Cricket 7. Guys, give it up for Ferris, who won the game. Thank our panel for playing When we come back The Rant Wheel Don't go anywhere This is Love It or Leave It

And there's more on the way And we're back Now for a segment called The Rant Wheel Here's how it works We spin the rant wheel And wherever it lands, we rant on the topic. This week we have Trent Franks, Comey's tweets, Bitcoin. You don't know what it is.

The Committee to Save America, as Dina Powell leaves the White House, reminded of that wonderful group of people who were supposed to save us all. Yankee Swap, Times Person of the Year cover, fake sign language interpreters, and audience suggestion. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Trent Franks. Okay. How many of you guys saw what's going on with this guy, Trent Franks?

So he resigned today. He was originally going to stick around for a while, but that was not tenable so it seems that uh that this congressperson a very you know conservative family values guy was going to various members of his staff and saying hey can i put a baby in you via via sex uh because you'll be my surrogate and his statement was remarkable it said i just got so comfortable with the topic of surrogacy that his statement was remarkable it said i just got so comfortable with the topic of surrogacy that i forgot that it might make some women uncomfortable to basically do handmaid's tale in my congressional office he also apparently offered them five million dollars which is yeah how does he have that much money? Apparently he made some very wise oil company investments before he voted again and again to deregulate the oil industry.

So a real soup of despicable shit going on in the Trent Franks office. That's crazy. I think he has a realistic sense of what it would cost for someone to want to have sex with him, though. Yeah. He's not getting any credit for that.

You know, I'll get a little credit for that. That is, that is my number. I think. I'm doing pretty well right now.

It wouldn't happen for less than that. But the baby part, that's what's crazy. It's like, I mean, that's, I don't want to do that with anyone.

Much less my boss. But also it's like, that's like a, I hope that he and his wife had talked about that beforehand because if not, that would be a terrible cover for an affair. It'd be like, oh no, I was paying her $5 million to be our surrogate. This is our baby. five million dollars to be our surrogate.

This is our baby. Alexandra Petrie, who was on Love It or Leave It, and is great, she wrote a very funny piece for the Washington Post saying, men just don't know what they're allowed to say anymore. If you can't ask a woman to have sex with her to carry your baby at the office, aren't we losing something?

Men just aren't going to be able to flirt anymore. Here's the thing, too, is it's like, OK, I know as a woman walking around that men are thinking disgusting things about my body. But for some reason, it's worse that he's thinking like, oh, that's a good baby bucket about his coworkers. I'm like, I would rather you think something else gross for some reason.

But I'm surprised he's resigning because this feels like a solid position for Republicans in 2017 that like, go ahead and coerce a subordinate

into having sex with you as long as it's for the purpose of procreation. Exactly. This is far more defensible than Roy Moore molester. Well, that's not a very good standard.

Yeah. And just like that, the bar was lower. I mean, yeah. I mean, there's a lot of shit people shouldn't do that's way more defensible than what Roy Moore did. I will say the, like, congratulations on coming up with a new fucked up thing. I, like, honestly kind of thought that wasn't going to happen before the end of the year.

Like I thought all the bad shit people were going to do had happened already. If it was going to happen again, it was going to be a repeat, a copycat. Tear up your top ten list, magazines. Trent Franks is here to blow your mind. Yeah. An impregnation scheme. Yeah. This is, I mean,

the writers at SVU who had rapped for the season are like, ah, fuck you guys, we gotta go back into work. Let's spin it again. It has landed on

the Time Person of the Year cover. This one goes to Jenny Yang. Yeah, I mean, I am so happy that after all that flatulent bullshit on Twitter that Trump did talking about, oh, Time wanted to talk to me again, that finally they put exactly his opposition, the Silence Breakers.

I was so happy. I was so happy. I was so happy. But my one rant is like, why Taylor Swift? You know what I mean? Like, why? You know what I mean? Is that Taylor Swift?

Yes. What's she doing up there? Yeah. It surprised me. Because DJ groped her and she took him to court. Okay. you know what I mean is that Taylor Swift yes what's she doing up there she it surprised me because DJ groped her and she took him to court okay and he counters

and like he sued her for defamation for the public accusation and she countersued him for one dollar and one oh yeah which is great

which is great but I mean you know I've gotten into it with people about Taylor Swift being on the cover I am not a Taylor Swift fan but I'm glad she's on the cover. People I've been talking to this week are like, my teenage daughters didn't know who any of the other people were,

and they give a shit about this. That's true. That's true. I honestly think when her story was breaking, all of us who have enjoyed shitting on her in the past did not give her the credit she was due that we've been giving other survivors who have been confronting their like you know their pieces of shit uh so i get it i get why she's on the cover i get that i think for me in a finite uh square footage of real estate called the time cover i just wonder you know

what i mean how do you make that decision? I mean, there's definitely room for like a bunch more people. Oh, for sure. I would say, I can agree with that and also say a lot of women with far less power who faced a much bigger hurdle in speaking out could have also

been on the cover. Oh, for sure. So the Me Too hashtag creator, Tarana Burke, you know, she could have been on here. You know, what about the Anita Hill? Fuck it. Let's take it back to Anita Hill. Fuck it. I wonder if the photo

shoot that Donald Trump refused to participate in would have been him with them. That's his elbow. Awkward. That's his elbow? Oh, man. The original was supposed to be the silence breakers and the silence neaters. Yeah.

Oh, man. He was mentioned in the piece, though, so that must have been a boon for him. Oh, well, he'll put that one on the wall. Edmaralago. Edmaralago, the fake one. Let's spin it again. Let's spin it again.

Yes. It has landed on fake sign language interpreters. Emily, the floor is yours. Oh, my God. I don't know. You guys stop right now and watch the video of this woman who showed up to, I think it was like a police press conference and did fake sign language. And my understanding is it wasn't that she applied for the job of sign language interpreter and cashed the check. She showed up and was like, hey, I'm

the sign language interpreter. And they were like, oh, we didn't know we hired one. And she was like, it's cool, I'm here. And then just did it. Which, I just feel like, okay, for the past couple weeks, like, especially thinking about the tax bill and just knowing the intentions behind every piece of shit who voted yes, it's so, and knowing that they're shitty intentions, it's so nice to just not know why someone did something you know I mean why did she do this I love it and

she's done it a bunch of times before of times before. Why are they arresting her? Just let her get... I mean, I get... Okay. There are people who need sign language interpreters. They didn't hire one.

They should have hired one. That's true. Who's harmed? It's the same number of people. It's the same amount of good sign language that was offered. Exactly.

It was either zero sign language or fake sign language. No deaf person got less out of the event. I mean, actually, they got a whole lot more. Yeah, they left. Because they were like, what is this show that's just for me? What is this? Where she just keeps saying murder over and over again.

Maybe this was just an open mic for deaf people to enjoy. This person was just doing stage time, getting his stage time wherever she was. I do wonder if it's like the equivalent. It might be offensive. It might be like the equivalent of like, oh, I'm the Italian interpreter and some guy going up being like,

lasagna tortellini. For sure. I choose to believe that if you were a deaf person in the audience, you read the lips and appreciated the meaning of the event while also enjoying a wonderful hand dance. Yeah. What a funny thing to get in your car.

You're getting in your car like, what are you doing today? Oh, I'm going to go do something so crazy. Oh, what am I doing today? I'm seeing what I can get away with. Oh, that's awesome. Let's spin it again. Oh. Okay.

It has landed on Comey's dumb fucking tweets. Have you guys seen what James Comey is doing on Twitter? God, it's just the sanctimonious it's like a psalm that says, justice flows like a mighty river with a picture of a river.

Is this like a 1990s inspirational poster? What is that? James Comey, it's a cat hanging on a wire that says, hang in there. But beneath it, is a giant fucking fire that James Comey started. Robert Mueller,

he's not tweeting, right? He's just doing his fucking job. Robert Mueller is like who James... Robert Mueller is he's not tweeting, right? He's just doing his fucking job. Robert Mueller is like who James... Robert Mueller is James Comey, but like a foot shorter and twice as good. I didn't think James Comey should be fired, but maybe Sphinx-like is not a good attribute for an FBI director.

I just... Hey, you know, maybe if your code of ethics led you to write a letter that caused a historic crisis from which America may or may not recover, maybe then your whole vibe isn't telling everybody about how ethical you are on Twitter. the Statue of Liberty. Did you see that? It's him shot from behind. The sun is setting over Lady Liberty and it says choppy waters, but their liberty shines in the horizon. You know? You did this. Listen.

The only overwrought platitude that he should be tweeting is, Poe, but he's nerfect. You know, have some humility. Let's leave it there. I want to thank our panel, Jenny Yang,

Andy Daly, Emily Hale-Eller. Thank you guys for coming out. Have a great night. Loving Olivia is Loving Olivia.