Lovett or Leave It - Hearing No Evil

Episode Date: September 29, 2018

Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee and the one female lawyer hired to do their dirty work. Plus Trump has a bananas press conference, Lindsey Graham loses the plot, Facebook once again treats our privacy like a toilet, and 80s comedies are gross gross gross. Akilah Hughes, Guy Branum, and Louis Virtel join Jon to break down a heartbreaking week and talk about Glenn Close almost winning oscars.

All right, welcome to the second in-studio edition of Love It or Leave It because I got food poisoning on a night with two book shows. We are joined by Keep It's Louis Fertel. John, thank you for wearing your usual Pete Davidson drag for me. Guys,

everybody give it up for Louis Fertel. Thank you for being here. Comedian, friend of the pod, author of the new book My Life as a Goddess. Please welcome back

to the show Guy Branum. John, I'm very enthusiastic about your slow evolution of this show into Watch What Happens Live. She's a writer, comedian, YouTuber, and very good friend of Crooked Media. Please welcome back Akilah Hughes. Thanks, John. Now, a little bit of housekeeping. You can get tickets right now for next week's Love It or Leave It at the Improv October 4th. It is the last show I'm going to be hosting for a month because we're going to head out on the road for the HBO show.

But we have a very special announcement. Guy Branum, Aaron Ryan will be guest hosting for Love It or Leave It specials at the improv. You may have to call it Branum or Burnum. Or, um, Ryan or Ryan. But they're going to be great. And it's going to be awesome. Guy, you excited? I'm very excited. I love the idea that Aaron Gloria Ryan is the emergency

replacement John Lovett, and I am the emergency replacement Aaron Gloria Ryan. That's good. When two systems have failed, there's me. All right. Let's get into it. What a week. You know what?

Don't applaud. Because this was a bad week. We're recording this Thursday night, moments after the conclusion of one of the most disgraceful spectacles that I've ever seen in the Senate. I was about to say one of the most disgraceful spectacles in the history of the Senate. But a man beat up another man because of slavery once. A little bit worse. Just slightly, but like only a little.

And like that guy got beaten up to like within an inch of his life. So definitely in the pantheon of disgusting Senate spectacles. But we won't rank it. On Thursday morning, Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee about the sexual assault she's alleged to have happened in 1982 at the hands of Trump Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Dr. Ford is one of three women accusing Kavanaugh of sexual assault and misconduct, but she was the only one allowed to testify. assault and misconduct, but she was the only one allowed to testify. She began the testimony with an emotional and powerful opening statement in which she detailed how Brett Kavanaugh and his friend Mark Judge attacked her at a house party when she was 15 years old. I am here today not because I want to be. I am terrified, she said. I'm here because I believe it is my civic duty

to tell you what happened to me. After her opening statement, Blasey Ford answered questions from the committee. The Republican members deferred to Rachel Mitchell, a veteran prosecutor from Maricopa County, yes, Sheriff Arpaio's Maricopa County, who they hired to ask their questions in five minute increments. Here are the key things we learned from Dr. Ford. One, she recalls with 100 percent certainty that the person who attacked her was Brett Kavanaugh, despite a last ditch effort by Senate Judiciary Republicans and their allies to claim it was some kind of a doppelganger, which blew up in their faces, but they continue to at least hint at today. Two, she requested that her charge against Kavanaugh be investigated by Congress and

the White House before Trump nominated Kavanaugh in hopes that he would not be selected. She repeatedly referred to the fact that there were other equally qualified people, certainly a dig at the Senate Republicans who have stuck by Kavanaugh and claim that this was some kind of a dirty trick. Three, she requested that the FBI follow up on her allegations, particularly with Mark Judge, Kavanaugh's friend, who was in the room and who she believes recalls the attack. Kavanaugh followed with an opening statement. His tone of demeanor was angry and defensive. He outright denied that he ever attacked or touched Dr. Ford. He denied the other allegations women have made against him, calling them a joke and a farce. He accused committee Democrats and his

acuters of a coordinated attack on him as revenge on behalf of the Clintons. I just want to pause there and note that nobody is motivated at getting revenge on behalf of the Clintons. Nobody. Nobody. This is not like Dianne Feinstein wakes up every day thinking to herself, I got to get them back for what they did to Hillary. Nobody gives a shit. The Clintons are off doing Clinton stuff. Nobody's mad for them. It's just something that was bothering me.

Kavanaugh repeatedly raised his voice and avoided directly answering questions from Senate Democrats. Then he froze when asked whether the FBI should reopen his background investigation to clear his name. Did you all watch this? I mean, it was impossible not to. Akilah, what did you think of Dr. Blasey Ford's testimony and how she handled herself over nearly four hours? Heroic. I think every woman I've ever met has stories that are uncomfortable, painful, and to have to do that clearly on national television, everyone's watching. It's all

of the trending topics on Twitter. It's everything on Instagram. It's everything that anybody's talking about. And, you know, there are people who are committed to not believing it regardless. Like it could be like videotape the night of with like somebody holding like a newspaper and people would, you know, commit to not believing her. You know, it's a shame that she even had to. And so watching it was very painful. Yeah. I mean, Lewis, one thing that was

fascinating about this is it seems as though the Senate Republicans, if they've learned anything from Anita Hill, it is not to put women on the committee, but it is to make sure you are not the ones asking the questions and to have a woman stand in your place to ask those questions. And one other thing that was fascinating to me is they clearly made a choice to try and not directly attack her credibility, saying, we believe you, but we somehow also believe Brett Kavanaugh. What did you make of the hearings? Well, something that I thought was specifically interesting was when Kavanaugh was being interrogated, how often they brought up his reputation and how much they kept apologizing to his family specifically. And then I'll call it begrudgingly

adding, and we're sorry to Ford's family too, like as an afterthought, which is, I mean, sorry to use a word we throw around and keep it, but it feels shady. You know what I'm saying? It's like it sets a tone for, but we're really sorry about this person. And we're just saying this because we have to, it has that feeling of obligation to it. I have to say as devastating as I thought her testimony was, something that was like a weird perk of her being a psychology professor was hearing her reference things like the hippo campus and talking about what she remembers and what she doesn't remember it's just she's like you're gonna put me in the most uncomfortable position of my life and i'm gonna take you on a magic carpet ride through the fucking brain you know what i mean like i'm

here to educate you yes right yeah so in a way it was almost like she was super heroically prepared in a way for it yeah guy what'd you think it was really interesting listening to somebody who understands so intimately how the brain works in the first half of the day and then somebody who really intimately understands how the law works in the second half of the day and they're very sort of like different approaches to questions of memory and fact. One thing I was a little sad they didn't bring up in the questioning of Kavanaugh was the fact that he had played the legal game of I do not recall with so many things, like whether Kaczynski sent him inappropriate emails and stuff like that.

And I really wish somebody had been like, hey like hey buddy you tell us you have perfect memory and then you played the game of i do not recall so many times when we were asking you questions before what's the deal i did come away with one clear message though brett kavanaugh was on the track team he brought it up like i think like four times the way that like he just kept saying like how can you question my honesty I was working out with Skippy there is somebody named Tobin and he is ripped that is what I got from this

choked up too about like just remembering the quarterback there's a lot here but never sympathetic in the right places I was a bit frustrated because I think there's a lot. There's a lot here, but never sympathetic in the right places. that Kavanaugh's anger didn't work, did it work? Because I don't care. I just I don't care. If he believes what he's saying is true, he'd be angry. If he wants to believe what he's saying, it's true. He'd be angry. And if he's lying, he'd pretend to be angry. When you look at that calendar and you see Beach Week, when you you hear him talk about his life, you do feel like you're listening to

somebody recount an idyllic version of childhood that he seems at least to want to believe to have been true that how could I have been this person when this was who I was I was a choir boy I was a person who studied and was on all the teams I organized the trips I had a great childhood I was good I am a good person yeah and I found myself thinking I don't even know if Brett Kavanaugh knows or could admit to himself now, if these things were true, that they'd happened. He sort of sidelong referenced the fact that he identified everything he was doing as good, clean, fun, 1982 style. But the thing is, is like, he referenced the movies that were coming out at that time. You look at good, clean, boys,

fun, 1982 style. Most of like, there are a lot of sex crimes in all of our sex comedy. Zapped with Scott Baio. I do not recommend it. Literally zapping the clothes off women. I know that's the correct year or two. We're going to get to that actually in a game today. But you see someone who is so indignant during that hearing. And then you look at what the actions have been of his team, his allies in the Senate.

We have not had the FBI investigation continue since these allegations came out. There was no testimony from Mark Judge or the people Dr. Ford told. There was no testimony from experts to validate what she was saying about her experience. This was not an effort to get at the truth. One thing I do think is fascinating is this question, and you probably have one to get to it. I'm sorry, I'm jumping ahead. But like that Rachel Mitchell disappeared. Yeah, where is she have one to get to, and I'm sorry, I'm jumping ahead. But that Rachel Mitchell disappeared. Yeah, where is she?

Did she get her Hogwarts letter? Is she a real person even? But the fact that those Republicans realized, two questioners in, if she just keeps calmly asking him questions about what happened, this ain't gonna look good. So they had to turn it into fighting time. The whole thing was very combative. And to your point where it's like,

I don't necessarily care if he comes in angry. There are lots of reasons to be angry. I was angry watching it. I felt like the ability to decide this is a partisan issue and I don't care what your questions are, even if they're completely valid, even if they're completely objective in this case.

It made me realize that like clearly, you know, when he says he could be an independent judge and he's not like so far right leaning, it's like clearly that's not true. Yeah. You hate Democrats. You want us to die. It's pretty clear. It was combative. I thought Cory Booker, Senator Harris, Senator Durbin, even Patrick Lay, I think some of them did a great job. I was very frustrated for a lot of that hearing because, you know, this question about the yearbook, the question about his high school drinking, these aren't about these are trivial things, but they they're about his credibility. I mean, just today, he clearly lied when he said

that his yearbook referencing the Renate alumnus was meant to be kind. Give me a fucking break. He didn't believe that. I mean, he response was like, that's bullshit. And clearly it was bullshit. It was clearly a insulting joke. He invented a drinking game called the Devil's Triangle, which comically he couldn't explain because, of course, it is not a drinking game. He did not mean that. And shout out to the

Republicans on the Hill trying to edit the Wikipedia page to invent a drinking game called Devil's Triangle. You know what they say is if somebody looks guilty, like they are. And it's, you know, that's not what they say. No one says that. Let's take it back. I feel like if, you know, if somebody is doing something like if your defense is just you

making up lies, then of course you look guilty, which is not a saying either in my defense. But it's just like, I feel like there, you know, if you don't want to look guilty, maybe don't make stuff up. Maybe don't hire people to make it look like these things exist when they clearly don't. Well, maybe also the brazenness of his lies, repeatedly lying about drinking. The idea that he was an excessive drinker, the idea that he didn't drink to the point where he could remember things, it is belied by what has been written about him, is belied by his previous testimony and statements.

The defensive screaming at Klobuchar, like, but don't you drink sometimes also, though? Right. It's not a problem, but I can stop whatever I want. He cannot now say, actually, I did drink to excess, and there may have been times I blacked out. He can't admit that because it leaves open the possibility that this happened and he doesn't remember it. He can't admit that what he said about the person in his yearbook was insulting. He has to say, you're the one making it insulting, but I apologize anyway. So he's now painted himself into a corner and therefore painted the Senate Republicans into a corner where they can either

basically go along with him or go along with her. They can't simply take themselves out of it. It's become a kind of Manichean choice. He's opened himself up to so many kinds of impeachments, Manichean choice. He's opened himself up to so many kinds of impeachments. The assertion of virginity until well past high school. The drinking stuff. That like Cornyn immediately after was saying like, well we have to get him confirmed

or else like accusers are going to keep coming. And it's like yes, that's why you should not confirm him. But my favorite part of his testimony is that he kept saying the witnesses who were there about a thing he says didn't happen. Yeah. I was literally like, that's insane. That's an insane thing to say. Like the witnesses agree that it didn't happen. Like, are they witnesses then?

Do you know what that word means? You can't ask that. Well, yeah, that's another good example and worth mentioning. He kept saying they said it didn't happen. They said it didn't happen. No, they haven't. No, they haven't. In fact, Mark Judge in his statements previously refused pointedly to say this didn't happen, but had to say, I didn't recall. And this is somebody who wrote a book about being a heavy drinker who often blacked out. That is a specific choice.

It is not denying it to refuse to say it didn't happen and instead say, I don't remember this happening. to refuse to say it didn't happen and instead say, I don't remember this happening. They don't want Mark Judge under oath, not because of what he will say, but because of what he will invoke. Like the minute he is under oath, he is going to Fifth Amendment his way out of things. And that's going to look really, really rough for them. Did you not think it was fun just every time he invoked the image of a woman in his life to defend himself? Every single one was more obnoxious than the first of all. I don't know if you know this. He has a mother, which blew my mind. It really puts it into perspective when you think about it. The way he talked about his daughter as like being like a kind of wise child who tells him to pray for her.

It's just like the facade that he is, you know, really considering the needs of women because he has listened to his daughter one time. Just all these things that have the implications of, see, all women are the same. If I treated one one way, I clearly would have treated them all the same way. Yes. Wait, to that point, he also said at one point that, you know, he has a close friend who was a sexual assault survivor who confided in him in her 30s. But one of the lines that the Republicans keep trotting out is that why would somebody come forward so many years later? And I'm like, you just told us that you have a friend who came forward years later. So that's not a thing. It's such a deeper pathology inside of the Republican Party, especially that committee.

We just had a Republican speaker of the House convicted for abusing boys. He served for decades and we didn't know that. He was speaker of the House for a long time and we didn't know that. We were in the middle of a Catholic church scandal, which took half a century to come out. We just saw an Olympic doctor who was abusing a hundred people. It took a long time for it to come out. We're in the middle of a reckoning about all this abuse that took a long time to come out. I sincerely believe that they don't see it. Not that they don't know it happened, not that they're not aware of the stories, that they don't see it not that they don't know it happened not that they're not aware of the stories But they don't allow it into their worldview because allowing it into your worldview means Recognizing that not only is this a big problem for women But by definition if it's a big problem for women it means it's a big problem for men and that there are a lot of men

Walking around with fucking secrets And they simply cannot allow that into their sense of how to approach a problem like that. It just cannot be a big enough deal to change the way they see the world. That's real. And that men routinely spend a lot of their time protecting each other. You know, I thought we saw that today. Again, the amount of times we saw people like rigorously defending his reputation as if only so-called bad people are the ones doing these things, you know, these phantoms out there and not just people you would meet every day who, you know, want to be politicians, whatever, public people.

Right. The notion like that rapists commit rape, men don't commit rape. And I think it does require us to be honest, to move forward from this stuff. It does require going back and looking at the things that we all accepted as boys will be boys before we can change them. Kavanaugh is such an interesting portrait of this person who participated in conventional white upper class heterosexuality that involved groping some ladies. But then you turn into a respectable person at some point in time at Yale Law School. And then you get the lady you're going to respect, and you pretend that none of the stuff before happened,

except for your time on the track team. You'll always have that. And you'll always remember that. I mean, just to go off of that point, something that keeps coming up on the online discourse, I guess, is that, you know, so what if this happened when you were in high school? So what? You know, that was a thing happened when you were in high school? So what? You know, that's that was a thing. And you grew out of that. That's not a reflection on your

character today, which is an admission, a blind admission that you don't necessarily think that sexual assault is a bad thing, that that's just a growing pain that people get over. And, you know, when you refer to it as a horrible thing that follows women for the rest of their lives or men, anybody who's affected by it, it's really frustrating because they don't believe that it affects the man. Like it doesn't reflect on them. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, it's it's just weird that it's not your personality that is part of the problem. It's just a thing you did one time. And it's like, no, like that's you. Like you are the choices you make. Yeah. Katie J.M. Baker, who's written about this for a long time and who was writing about this issue before we were talking about as much as we are now.

I'm going to paraphrase it because actually it was in a piece that she wrote a while back. But she said that often, especially on college campuses, sexual assault is treated as a crime without a criminal. And I think that's what we had here today. They treat it as a crime without a criminal. We believe Dr. Ford, but we believe Brett Kavanaugh. By the end of the day, I was feeling so sad because I felt like we heard her speak and it felt like she won. And it's prurient to call it winning, but it felt like she won because it was undeniable. And there was something about the way the hearing went in the afternoon, in part because a lot of Democratic senators are not

good on their feet and gave fucking speeches, that I walked away from that thinking, we didn't get it, the truth here. We didn't get to the truth here which is I don't care what this guy was willing to admit can we at least talk about the fact that it is possible for someone to lead this life while either not admitting to himself and others that he made this mistakes that people can be different when they're drunk and when they're sober that people can do shit when they're young in a culture that didn't tell them how bad it was even though they knew it was wrong at the time. It was never honest. We never got to the truth. Whether or not you believe him or not, we never got to the heart of it, which is, of course, this shit went on. It is so brave, all of the people who are coming forward, because for such a long time, we saw this as being abstracted villains

and like abstracted victims and people who have come forward to talk about the whole idea of Me Too, of it being an integrated part of a life. Like when people like Padma Lakshmi come forward and say, I could avoid talking about this and all you would think about is how pretty I am and how much you would like to judge an episode of Top Chef.

But she says like, this is part of my experience so that we start integrating these things, but we just aren't anywhere close to being able to do that when it comes to, frankly, our failure as a culture to acculturate boys to a responsible understanding of women as human beings. Yeah. And I feel like watching today, we saw a bunch of men basically be like, but you know, it's like too much work to basically go into the nitty gritty on this and call this man accountable.

You know what I mean? What I think has been frustrating and hard to watch is that there's never been an apology of just like, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Because like, or you believe that that happened to you, even if he can't admit it. The fact that this is a reality for so many people is horrendous. And the discussion I'm having with all of my girlfriends is like, how much better would you have felt if somebody who had just reached out, if you would ever approach them, or if they just knew, had just said, like, it's fucked up what I did to you. But we're never going to get that because, you know,

the whole process is it's impossible that this person is bad, which is crazy. Like, everybody is capable of something terrible. Why are we supposed to believe that this potential Supreme Court justice has never done a bad thing in his life? Like, that's not the farce? His whole demeanor to me seemed to be like, this shouldn't happen to me, this kind of person. He's the real victim, you guys.

Yeah, think about the men. But what about the men? Which, by the way, that's not an interpretation that was said a couple of times. Lindsey Graham said that. I mean, just a quick fuck you to Lindsey Graham. And the Tony he's going to win for that performance. Yeah, Jesus. Well, I suppose if there's something positive

that came out of this, it is the fact that everybody was watching this and whether Kavanaugh gets out of committee and onto the Supreme Court or not, I think this was eye-opening for a lot of women and I think men watching it.

Yeah. So, you know, they may vote for this guy, but they do so at their peril. When we come back, OK, stop. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. All right, guys, that was extraordinarily heavy. And thank you all for being here for this conversation, because today was terrible. But that's not the only thing that's been happening this week. Donald Trump likes to put on a show, not a show like Hamilton, more a show like that Spider-Man musical where the Spider-Man kept falling out of the sky and had to keep replacing Spider-Man's because Spider-Mans were in the hospital.

And Bono wrote a song and then disavowed it. Let's take a look at Trump's press conference from Wednesday and see how he did. You're at all concerned at the message that is being sent to the women who are watching this when you use language like con job in relation to allegations of sexual assault. I've used much worse language in my life than that. Okay, stop. He has. Con job.

That's like probably the nicest phrase I've ever used. I mean, con job. It is. It's a con job. You know, confidence. It's a confidence job, but they should. They did the same thing. Here's one of my biggest.

I mean, that's not true. I have so many problems with Donald Trump but one of the biggest problems with Donald Trump is that he's never ever saying anything. He's literally,

he just said con job 40 times just so it would be in the news cycle. It's not even a good soundbite. It's not even good. Why did he keep saying it? He's just, you're the puppeting again.

Like this guy who ran a con job on America is accusing these poor women of con jobs. And it was so scary to see in Brett Kavanaugh today that same kind of like pugnacious throw accusations around like kind of attitude. Well, it's also worth remembering that a lot of what Kavanaugh did in his opening statement was a performance for an audience of one, which is why I said my reputation, because there's nothing more important to Donald Trump than the reputation of a white man in power. Before you start it, though, to that point,

I don't think Donald Trump would have liked those crocodile tears. I feel like that would have been like, come on, man, don't cry about the quarterback. I just think he wouldn't have liked that. He definitely does not respect male tears. Same. With the Russia investigation, they tried to convince people that I had something to do with Russia.

There was no collusion. Think of it. Okay, stop. Did she ask anything about that? No. Okay. She actually asked about women in particular. And he jumped to Russia, which is really impressive. And by impressive, I mean just the amount of, somebody was telling me, I wish I could

quote who this was, the amount of superlatives in what he says without even really a subject to a sentence. Grammatically, I'm attacking this now, and I'm coming up with question mark. Yeah, no, his presidency is one long dependent clause. I'm in Wisconsin. I'm in Michigan. I say, gee, we're not doing well. I won both those states.

We're not doing well. All I have to say is, okay, stop. Let me call the Russians to help. Does anybody really believe that? Okay, stop. No one believes that. No one thinks that he was doing poorly in Michigan, Wisconsin and called them in. It's that you had a meeting at Trump Tower, as has been reported.

And also very clearly on tape saying, hey, I wish they would hack Hillary. I mean, that video exists. So, yeah, we believe the truth. Sorry. Also, he doesn't recall any of this happening and all of the witnesses who were there say it didn't happen. And all of the witnesses who were there say it didn't happen. Con job. In one case, they say, he's a fascist. He's taking over the government. He's the most powerful president ever.

He's a horrible human being. Excuse me. Just at least put only insults in order. He just threw it. He's a fascist. He's the best. Well, which is it? He's too handsome.

The ombre really works. Right, yeah. Needs an Emmy. He wants to take over the entire government. he's gonna do it we can't stop him that didn't work the next week he said uh he's incompetent i said well whatever in one case i'm taking over the world and in the other case he's incompetent okay stop yep he's incompetent and taking over the world it's all bad. Yeah, no one ever said all of those dictators throughout history were, like, super efficient and great. They generally, like, drove their countries into a wall in the process of trying to, like, subvert government. But we'll see.

We've got another three or four years. Also, the whole thing is you've got to nip fascism in the bud, you know? They tried that for a week. That didn't work. These are very dishonest people. Yesterday, you were talking about your administration's accomplishments at the United Nations. And a lot of the leaders laughed. Why do you think they were? Well, that's fake news. What was that experience like? Okay, stop. The video exists. We all laughed. I laughed at the video of people laughing.

So you cannot tell us it didn't happen. You put up a reaction video of you laughing at a laughing video on your YouTube channel. Man, that is it's just nice in a terrible week to remember that Donald Trump sees the world in terms of bully and humiliated victim. And there's nothing worse to him than being laughed at. It is the worst thing that could happen to a person. Well, isn't he our president because Obama made jokes about him at that one White House... Shut up, Lewis. And then people laughed at him. How about you shut the fuck up? Guy, were you going to say something? I'm going to go to a different

white gay man. We have so many options. And it was covered that way. Okay. They weren't laughing at me. They were laughing with me. Okay, stop. That's the best. That is the best.

That's what my mom always says. God, you know what? I think he would like Nanette. Because he's raising some interesting points that are explored in the comedy slash performance piece known as Nanette. Can you be self-deprecating while still being in control? What does it mean to be laughed with versus laughed at? These are the questions she answers in Nanette. I realize that we are having fun with this game,

but I do want to point out the place of laughter in the two big stories from this week. Dr. Ford, it was this resounding memory of being the object of someone's joke that she was a non-person to them and trump's inability to even face the fact that he is being laughed at and not respected like this is a government for bullies as you were as you were saying and for that reason it doesn't have much place for it doesn't have much place for women, doesn't have much place for people of color or people of our queer ilk. Yeah, it really does. It is, you know, I've said this before, but like Donald Trump is the baby boomer supernova. But it did feel like the hearing today

was a kind of people's a toxic masculinity. But I actually think they're being too nice because they're talking just about masculinity but they know they need to couch it. This was about masculinity. He's not a bad person. He was on the track team. He needed to get faster. I had a great time at Beach Week.

We'll get to fucking Beach Week. And that's okay, stop. When we come back, we needed that. When we come back, we're going to play a game about local propositions. Don't go anywhere.

This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way. I continue to believe that The Florida Project was one of the best three movies of the year. I loved that movie. It should have been a contender for Best Picture. It belonged with Moonlight at the top of the heap.

And that is all I will say. It was a 20th century woman queen that year. All right, you know what? For no reason whatsoever, I'm going to leave in the Florida Project plug again because I want people to remember that that movie got fucking robbed. And we're back. Great ending. If you're a progressive in 2018, you spent the last two years being yelled at about paying attention to local elections. And you should be yelled at because we as liberals don't turn out for local elections. But it's partly not your fault because a lot of the time local elections are confusing.

Case in point, ballot propositions. Not only are they written in strange legalese, there are often television and billboard ads designed to trick you. You really have to do your research with this stuff. And to illustrate why, we're going to highlight some of the most deceptive ballot ads of the last few years in a game we're calling Props to You Orwellian Political Advertisements. I'll show you a campaign ad for a proposition. You have to tell us what the prop does. Would somebody out there like to play the game? One of

our many crooked interns is in the house. Michael, would you like to play the game? Alright, Michael. Here's how it's going to work. We're going to play a proposition advertisement for you. Then we're going to read you clues as to what it was really about. Question number one, what does this proposition actually do? This November, there may be some tough choices on your ballot, but here's an easy one. Amendment one. Amendment one guarantees your right to

generate your own solar electricity and placing that right in Florida's constitution keeps politicians and special interests from tampering with it. Amendment 1 guarantees your access to solar energy. It promotes innovation, protects consumers, and empowers you. That sounds great. I'd love to vote yes. What does it mean? Is it A? Amendment 1 would require NFL players to stand in deference to Rob, God of the Sun. Is it B? It allows the require NFL players to stand in deference to Rob, God of the Sun. Is it B? It allows the state of Florida to access your electrical grid and turn off your AC on the grossest, hottest days. What can I say? Rick Scott loves pranks.

Or is it C? It would prevent solar panel owners from selling their excess solar power to their energy company. In other words, it would put an end to major incentive for people to buy or lease solar panels, which is why it was supported by Florida's electric utilities. What do you think, Michael? I think I'm going to go with C. You got it. No, no, I disagree. That was clearly an ad for a sandals resort. Question number two. Good schools are important to my students and California. That's why voters passed a law to ensure that schools get 43% of any new tax revenue. I was astounded to learn that Prop 56

was written intentionally to undermine that guarantee. Prop 56 raises $1.4 billion a year in new taxes and gives most of that money to wealthy special interests like insurance companies. But not one penny goes to improve our kids' schools. That's just bad math. What did it do? Is it A? This proposition would put a new tax on cigarettes and this no on 56 ad was bankrolled by the tobacco industry. But who cares because no one smokes anymore. We all just jewel. Love it or leave it. Brought to you by Jewel. It's not brought to you by Jewel.

Love it or leave it, brought to you by Jewel. It's not brought to you by Jewel. Is it B? Prop 56 would require all political ads to undergo basic copy editing. It'd protect future generations from ads that start with sentences like, good schools are important to my students and California. Or is it C? It replaces the deeply unpopular common core math with something called bad math.

Students would be taught that two plus two equals who gives a shit my parents are getting divorced. And that Pythagoras is a famous virgin who died thousands of years ago because he sucks. What do you think, Michael? A. You got it. Question three. What does this proposition do? We all want to control healthcare costs, and this year

we have a clear choice. We can keep the new independent commission established last year to negotiate rates and benefits for consumers and reject plans that are too expensive. Or we have Prop 45 that'll give one politician the power to override the commission and at the same time take millions in campaign contributions from special interests. The choice is clear. Keep the independent Commission and vote no on 45. What do you think? Is it A? Prop 45 would limit health care spending by introducing a single-payer system.

The single-payer will be Angela Schultz, a dental hygienist from Redding, California. Let's hear it for Angela, everybody! Or is it B? Prop 45 would have given the state's insurance commissioner the power to reject health insurance rates that are too expensive, but it was defeated because of ads like this. Or is it C? Prop 45 would require Dr. Amy Wynn Howell, who appears in the ad, to stop walking around with a stethoscope draped over her shoulders like she's wearing a doctor costume for Halloween. You're an administrator, Amy. Spreadsheets don't have lungs. Give it a rest.

What do you think, Michael? B. It is. It's B. You got it. And you've won the game. Guys, everybody give it up for Michael, a crooked intern who his reward for playing is being a crooked intern. Thank you so much. Those ads were deeply ASMR to me. I didn't think political ads could be so soothing.

It's like this. It's like this. Pretend we're not from a corporation. That's the game. Just a reminder that we only have a few weeks for the November election. Start researching your local prompts and other down ballot races now. Republicans have screwed us over by relying on our hatred of research.

And we can't let them keep doing it even if they're right and we are very lazy, which we will neither confirm nor deny. At votesaveamerica.com, you'll soon be able to see your whole ballot and get information about the candidates and the issues at stake. When we come back, we're going to play a game about the very 80s movies we were talking about that don't hold up. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. According to Christine Blasey Ford, there was one witness to Brett Kavanaugh's sexual assault at her high school party in the 80s, Kavanaugh's Georgetown preparatory schoolmate, Mark Judge. People started digging around about this Mark Judge fellow, and it turns out he wrote a book entitled Wasted, Tales of a Gen X Drunk. The book features a character called Bart O. Kavanaugh, who puked in someone's car, passed out on his way back from a party. In 2016, Judge also longed for a different time when he wrote the following, quote, Oh! funny for male characters in TV shows and movies, even recently. And so we'll play a game called Doesn't Hold Up. Ow! Let's hear the ding.

What a late ding. This is a lightning round game. Would somebody out there like to play? You want to play, Viva? Viva! Viva! Hi, what's your name? Viva.

Viva, thank you so much for playing. Where are you from, Viva? New York. Nice. One of the more famous states. Now, you are a Crooked intern. Yes, that is correct. As a result, you are a second wave millennial.

Yep. Are you familiar with movies made before 1999? I have seen Animal House. That's about it. All right. Can I ask a quick question to gauge Viva's knowledge of Gen X movies? Sure. How many things does that one girl hate about Heath Ledger?

Oh, 10. Okay. It was 10? It was 10, yes. Okay. Checks out. So I'm going to read a pop culture moment, and you have to tell us if it's real or fake. Okay.

Am I really describing a movie, or have we come up with, to trick you, a fake one? Okay. All right, Viva, let's go. In the 1980s classic Revenge of the Nerds, a nerd puts on the same Darth Vader mask as a woman's boyfriend at a party and then tricks her into having sex with him. The sex is so good, she then falls in love with him, and this assault is considered a happy ending. That's real.

Correct. In Space Jam, there's a whole scene where they teach a girl bunny to dunk just so they can look up her skirt. That's real. Fake. In the movie Porky's, the boys drill a hole in the girl's locker room to spy on them in the shower. Then one boy puts his tongue and penis through the hole.

The female gym teacher who tries to catch them is considered a villain. Real? Yes. In the John Hughes classic Sixteen Candles, the male lead puts his very drunk girlfriend in a car with, quote, the geek. real? yes real? that's real real? no that's fake In the James Bond film, Dr. No, James Bond earns the nickname Dr. No by respecting women's wishes instead of forcing kisses on them for half a century. Real? No, that's fake.

That's fake. Actually, James Bond movies are pretty fucking gross. In the movie, The Sandlot, Squint fakes drowning so he can get a kiss from a hot lifeguard. Fake. That's real. That happens in The Sandlot. In the sci-fi noir film Blade Runner, who wouldn't know? Noir.

In what is supposed to be a romantic scene, Harrison Ford doesn't let his love interest leave the apartment. Instead, he pushes her against the window and kisses her, even though she obviously is very scared and crying. Real. Correct. In the movie Baby Geniuses, two babies kiss and make another baby.

Yeah, that's fake. In the movie American Pie, the main character set up a webcam to spy on a foreign exchange student who is changing after ballet class. They accidentally send this link to the entire school, and it's seen as a comedic scene. Real. Correct. In the film Cloud Atlas, Halle Berry plays an old Korean man in the distant future. That's not relevant, but it's important that people know this.

Fake. No, that really happens in that movie. She plays an old Korean man. The movie Die Hard is called Die Hard because one character dies moments after getting an erection because his murderer was hot. Nope. That's fake.

Yep. And the movie Die Hard 2 is called Die Hard 2 because one character dies moments after getting two erections. God damn it. That's fake.

They snuck that one in. In the film You've Got Mail you got it. Give her a ding for that even though she didn't answer. In the film You've Got Mail Tom Hanks stalks his online chat buddy

without her knowledge until she falls in love with him and it's not that bad but it's not great. That's real. Correct. In Wedding Crashers, Vince Vaughn's character gets tied up and forced into sex by his girlfriend. But it's funny because she's hot and he's Vince Vaughn.

Later in the film, he says, she raped me and is played for laughs. Real. Correct. There's a bliminal message in Disney's Fantasia telling girls to drop out of school because no one wants a clever wife. Fake. Yeah, that's fake. Viva, you've won the game. Guys, everybody give it up for Viva.

When we come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Once again, thanks to Louis Vertel, Guy Branum, Akilah Hughes for joining us on our second very special in-studio edition of Love It or Leave It, which was very warmly received last week, I'd note. It's very MTV Unplugged, yes.

I like it. I'm going to start rumors that you're doing them in studio because John Lovett has died, and this is just Tommy Vitor in a costume. Maybe that's why my arms look so good. All right. Leave it in. It'll make him feel weird if he hears it.

Now for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. We spin a wheel. We rant on whatever topic it lands upon. This week on the wheel, we have senators at hearings. We have high school yearbooks. We have Fox News editing a clip of Trump to remove the laugh. We have whatever Beach Week is.

Facebook selling people's phone numbers that they gave to Facebook for two-factor authentication. Twitter polls, Lindsey Graham and Glenn Close. Now, this is a unique moment. It is a real physical wheel in the studio. Real Merv Griffin style wheel of fortune. Here we go. Cool. It sounds so good. It has landed on Facebook selling people's numbers. I don't know if you saw this, but it came out that Facebook has been encouraging rightly people to use two factor authentication.

If you're listening, you're not sure what that is. Get your fucking shit together. Two factor authentication means you not only need a password, but you also need a phone or a device to give you a code so that if someone gets your password, they still can't get into your account because they need the physical phone that you have to either get a text message or use an authenticator app. Some people also have authenticator keys that they can plug into their computer. It doesn't matter. The point is, one of the ways you can do two-factor is to use your phone number. What we have learned is that even though you may have chosen to not give Facebook your phone number for your page, for the actual use of Facebook generally, if you just used your phone number only for two-factor authentication, they were still using it to target you with fucking advertisements, which is completely unacceptable. with fucking advertisements, which is completely unacceptable.

And once again, Facebook is going to have to be put into a position to apologize because there's something fucking rotten at the heart of the way they do business. This is just a reminder to people at home. A lot of people don't know this. Did you guys know that our government can regulate businesses?

We haven't done it for a while. We've been focused on other things. And we've taken this sort of capitalist idea that, oh, you can walk away and go to Elo. But I really think that as Amazon becomes like our source for both organic apples and prestige television and like our capacity as consumers to negotiate with them is limited. We need to remind our representatives that they could maybe put a limit on things like this. I just want to say that I miss when Facebook was about seeing if the hot guy in your ethics class was also into Bjork. We all miss that, Louis. But it's, yeah, it's almost like chain-smoking apologies. Like, does Mark Zuckerberg ever end an apology tour?

Or does the new apology store just connect? Does he ever actually get home? Or does he just like, you know what, actually reroute me

through Cleveland. I'll keep this fucking tour going. Big money, big money. It has landed on Glenn Close. I've never been happier.

Suggested by one Louis Vertel. I'm almost sorry to infiltrate the show with this, but here's. I've never been happier. Suggested by one Louis Vertel. I'm almost sorry to infiltrate the show with this, but here's what I'm going to say. I'm so nervous. Okay, no, I'm applauding Glenn Close. But I just want to say, we're about to embark on an Oscar season

in which Glenn Close will again be up for a losing Oscar campaign. And I want to say that on the one hand, I am happy because it connects me to my gay grandparents who also had to do this in the 80s. In 1982, lost to Jessica Lange, lost to Linda Hunt,

lost to Peggy Ashcroft. Then she lost to, in 1987, who, Guy Branum? Cher. That's exactly right. And she's about to lose to another singer.

Lady Gaga. We haven't even seen the movies yet. Yeah. Excuse me, I saw The Wave, so don't tell me I didn't see The Wave. You haven't seen A Star movies yet. Yeah. I saw the, excuse me, I saw The Wave. So don't tell me I didn't see The Wave. You haven't seen A Star Is Born yet.

No, but like everybody agrees it's like the number one thing. People are rooting for her. She's going to get nominated for song and for actress. Also, let's talk about the fact that it was 1988 for Dangerous Liaisons. She was truly, truly robbed. Yes. Lost to Jodie Foster in a movie that doesn't hold up. Speaking of doesn't hold up.

But she's coming to the point where she only needs like three more to become the most nominated loser of all time. Yes. And I just want her to have something to walk away with. Right. No, we can't give her like golden gloves the way we give them to like Meryl Streep. You know, Meryl Streep collects golden gloves the way people collect like iTunes updates. You know what I'm saying? Am I gay?

Do you feel left out? Am I still gay? I think so. I i don't know let's spin it again it has landed on twitter polls which was suggested by akilah oh hi wow okay so there was a twitter poll today during the hearings from the New York Times that was just like, you guys think this lady's credible? Yes or no? And then like, not sure. Like a third option. And then they took it down, but they still posted the poll, like, just in case you were

still deciding. And, you know, my feeling is this. It's not Yanni and Laurel, right? Okay, this is bullshit. I don't care what people think if they think she's credible. That's the point of the hearings. Twitter is a cesspool, and I don't need to hear that. You know, just because you have the technology doesn't mean you should use it, right?

Yeah, that's, I mean, did you not see Jurassic Park? Yeah, exactly. Never stopped to, the Times knew that they could. They never stopped to think that they should. Yeah, exactly. And women will inherit the earth, so. Is Christine Ford weird? Take the poll.

Do you like her eyeliner? Yes or no? Is it this or can you not even? Let's spin it again. Yes or no? The real wheel is just fantastic. It has landed on high school yearbooks. I just want to take a moment to say

high school yearbooks are pretty tough for the kids that didn't get invited to Beach Week and weren't part of any kind of kegger clubs or weekend trips. It's tough out there. Walking around the yearbook when you didn't even win most likely to succeed because they gave it to a kid

that was already rich. Here's my feeling on yearbooks. Teenagers should never be quoted. How about that? Look, as an overachieving grade grubber, I really resent Brett Kavanaugh wanting to both be like, oh, I was working so hard to get into Yale, but also be like, yeah, brah, have you boofed yet?

It's the privilege of heterosexual white masculinity of thinking you get to be a dickbag like that while also being a good boy at the same time. Fuck him. Today he was half-assedly under oath pretending that he was not responsible for all of that bullshit. And I want Renata Dolphin to tear him apart limb from limb. Fuck that dude. Like, if he said Renata alumnus and he was a

virgin, that's worse. Fuck you, dude. Like, I'm just, it's so pathetic that we have had to walk through the ways in which he tried to impress Mark Judge. And have a great summer. I hope we stay friends. It is landed on Beach Week.

The fuck is Beach Week? I'm just going to say it. Beaches exist all year long. That's my feeling about them. True. Beach Week. I ain't going to Beach Week. Yeah, I know. I ain't even going to Beach Day.

Who are teenagers who are able to rent homes for themselves? What a world. What a life. What a life these kids have. His attempt to construct this summer where he was busy being responsible and going to very taxing football camps is ridiculous. Like, his, oh, well, this only could have happened on the weekend. Like, that was a weird premise he kept laying in there.

And I just want to be like, you're a goddamn judge. Like, if you were presented with this information, would you just be like, oh, well, he said he never drank during the weekdays, mostly. I'll believe it fuck no it's like i couldn't drink because i had my job you're not a cpa you worked at you're a kid what are you fucking talking about it's thursday night you can be drunk at the mall on your job okay what the fuck beach week beach week spoil fucking spin it again. The sound is so crisp.

It has landed on Lindsey Graham. Speaking of best actress. Yes, right. The performance he gave after they snatched Rachel Mitchell away was ridiculous. Like, I feel like Brett Kavanaugh's nearly foaming at the mouth with belligerence and crying at the same time infected him. Like, they think the lesson of the Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill hearings is men need to show more emotion. And, like, the fact that he was blustering about the damage that was done to this person who has been accused of sexual assault by several people was fucking ridiculous.

Though I do think like he could end up being nominated for a Golden Globe. Yes. No, the drama was very sincere. It was like a sustained high pitched scream from what I remember. And he basically vogued out of the room. I mean, the drama was intense. And I'm going to say, I don't want to give him a real Golden Globe. He's like Gotham nominated. Yeah, it was a bit much.

I don't even know who gave him the Chardonnay to throw at Amy Klobuchar's face. Let's end on a high note. Great. Everyone likes to say it, but this year it's actually true. The 2018 midterm election is the most important congressional election of our lifetimes.

We have a real shot to flip the House back to Democrats. If we do that, we can stop any legislation Trump wants to push through Congress and we can restore

some of those, what do you call them, checks and balances. Values? Yeah, right. By having investigations and those things they used to have

before the only hearings they had were about attacking the credibility of sexual assault victims called hearings. If Democrats win this year, we'll also have a chance of unfucking the district lines because we're heading into a census. And we could, and it's a long shot, we could take back the majority in the Senate, which means we could take Mitch McConnell's power. If we do that, obviously Ruth Bader Ginsburg could unclench. power. If we do that, obviously, Ruth Bader Ginsburg could unclench. Pennsylvania currently has zero women in Congress. Come November, there could be as many as seven. And we are also seeing more women, young people and more people of color run than ever before. We have Stacey Abrams in Georgia, Andrew Gillum in Florida, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in New York and Beto O'Rourke, who is none of those things, but is still very cool and does skateboarding.

Call it Jordan in Idaho. I know it's a long shot but having a Native American woman run a fucking state would make me happy. Yes. No and I'm glad you added it. So this week

we're asking everyone to send three friends to votesaveamerica.com to make sure they're registered to vote. Louis. Huh? Guy.

Uh huh. Akilah. Yo. Will you be my three friends who make sure you're registered to vote oh fuck yeah okay i've done it twice this week thank you guys so much for doing that and uh you know i think it was a really hard day for crooked media like i think there's a lot of like it was just a quiet office and a lot of people struggling with something which i think is whether people have dealt with it in their

own lives or just have friends that have dealt with it. It's a brutal fucking day and it is brutal to watch people justify their partisan behavior. I know that there are sincere conservatives who believe that this process was a farce, who, because they view it as possible for Republicans to do it, they believe Democrats have launched some kind of smear campaign. I know there are people who look at this and say, we'll never know the truth. And how could you not give this person a chance to serve if we're doing it without knowing for sure? But I think a lot of that is self-justification. I think it's so hard to watch people justify doing the wrong thing because it's easier, because they're afraid of their base, because they're afraid of

Donald Trump, because they lack the empathy and imagination to put themselves in the shoes of a victim instead of someone accused by a victim. But it's crass. But the only thing we can do, whether they get Kavanaugh through or not, is fucking show up. And I hope people do because there was no reason this hearing had to happen today. There was no reason for them to put this woman through that. There was no fucking reason for any of it. There are plenty of other right wing conservatives they could put on the fucking court. And the fact that they've been

doing this to the country is a reminder of the shit they've been doing to this country for the past two fucking years. So everybody better turn up and everybody better do everything they can, because this doesn't have to be the way our politics looks every day. That's how I felt today. And I hope that's how you felt, too. Thanks, everybody, for being here. Thanks to Louis Rattel, Guy Branum, Akilah Hughes. Thank you everybody for sticking around at the office even though it was your jobs and you had to. Have a great

night.