Lovett or Leave It - In This House, We Say Gay

Episode Date: February 26, 2022

Gather around the campfire for one s’more backyard show before Lovett and Leave It ventures into the wider world yet again. A pick-up aficionado (Ike Barinholtz) puts the pedal to the metal in our conversation about pedestrian safety. Ike, Sam Richardson, and Madison Shepard cower in the face of the forthcoming vibe shift, before putting their knowledge of Trump’s many legal problems to the test. And as another era passes, so too turns the Rant Wheel, teaching us the folly of doing the splits in your 30s, sharing memes too late, and eating way too much cheese in the pursuit of eternal youth and beauty.Support trans kids in Texas:EqualityTexas.orgTransTexas.orgFor a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.   

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else, and call this show a nimby because after tonight, it's not in my backyard anymore. We saved the best show for last. Sorry, earlier shows. A spokesman for Big Truck talks down to little pedestrians. Sam Richardson, Ike Barinholtz, and Madison Shepard do their best to predict the next vibes before wading deeply into Trump's legal woes and, of course, the rant wheel. But first, let's get into it.

What a week. Yeah, don't applaud this week. That's right. That's correct. No, it's right. I don't. It's not appropriate. It's a week defined by Putin's invasion of Ukraine, a very funny topic.

But you bought a ticket to the content factory and and God damn it, you're getting a tour. While a guest on her show Wednesday, Donald Trump chastised Laura Ingraham, thinking she'd just revealed to him on live TV that the United States had invaded Ukraine. What's also very dangerous is you told me about the amphibious attack by Americans. You shouldn't be saying that because you and everybody else shouldn't know about it. They should do that secretly, not be doing that through the great Laura Ingraham. They should be doing that secretly.

Nobody should know that, Laura. Just once, just to look, we can laugh all we want. We got absolutely obliterated by the dumbest people on Earth. So then Laura Ingraham, who always gets a... I appreciate when these Fox News hosts are trying to kind of... Hey, we're trying to run an operation here. Can you get with the program?

So she had to explain it. And you know, you were... That was the Russian... Nobody should know. No, those are the Russian amphibious landing. No, I thought you said that... I thought you said that we were sending people in.

No, I did not. No, no, no. Make us on the same side of a conversation as Laura Ingraham. It sucks. Trump has been lavishing praise on Putin because they go to the same filler guy. As you can imagine, given the events of the last few days, it's also been a hard time to throw out a commercial as CNN discovered. And a little bit of chicken. as CNN discovered. It's an Applebee's commercial,

a little shimmying cowboy in that commercial. And I just want to be clear, I don't judge the difficulty of finding your way into a commercial break during difficult times. I found myself talking about mattresses during an emergency episode of Pod Save the World this week. So I get it. Unfortunately, Donald Trump isn't the only conservative rushing to the defense of Vladimir Putin. On Tuesday's show, Tucker Carlson asked his audience this question.

What is this really about? Why do I hate Putin so much? Has Putin ever called me a racist? Has he threatened to get me fired for disagreeing with him? Has Putin ever poisoned me for being a Russian dissident? Has Putin ever pointed out that I'm using a foreign policy crisis to make Americans hate each other rather than a dictator several thousand miles away? Following the news of the Russian invasion of Ukraine, 90210 reboot actress Anna Lynn McCord posted a video of herself reciting a poem directed at Vladimir Putin, in which she apologized for not being the autocrat's mother as she would have raised him with love, therefore avoiding Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Dear President Vladimir Putin, I'm so sorry that I was not your mother. We are really cooking up quite a deranged society. Yes, this is about Putin not being loved.

As soon as I heard the air raid sirens, I thought to myself, someone hasn't watched Ted Lasso. Video has been watched over 10 million times as of this afternoon. Honestly, I kind of would have expected even more engagement for incontrovertible proof that God doesn't exist. And I want to thank Peter Miller for just an excellent run of jokes that I'm looking at as I deliver them, which is why I stumbled over incontrovertible. Meanwhile,

on Thursday, Vice, I don't want to look at you while I say what you've written. Never look me in the eyes during the show. Meanwhile, on Thursday, Vice Studios confirmed that Sean Penn is currently in Ukraine filming a documentary about the Russian invasion. He was already in town to see Louis C.K.,

so it wasn't that much of a stretch. Note, just a note. This joke works when you know tickets are still available for Louis C.K.'s show in Kiev tonight. It does seem as though they canceled it, though. Ike and I were discussing it. It seems as though cancel culture has come for Louis C.K.'s Kiev show. And look, we can all admit that if that show had gone on and we were in that city, we would go. That is a one-time opportunity.

I saw Louis C.K. in Kiev during a Russian invasion. I don't want to make light of it. And obviously, you know, who can remember what he did? But in other, it's a tough news week. In other news that is bad, Ukrainian officials say Russian forces have captured the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. Of course, no one will ever truly capture it like Craig Mazin's Emmy Award winning... HBO show. Chernobyl.

As this very serious and dangerous crisis unfolds, Twitter has been as terrible as you might expect. It's an account named SenorGagatron replying to a foreign policy professor to explain how sanctions really work. Twitter. A dopamine slot machine that exists to reward and occasionally create personality disorders. Don't read the comments. At Twitter, we have a different idea. Only comments. All comments. different idea. Only comments. All comments. On Tuesday, the Supreme Court rejected Trump's efforts to block the National Archives from giving the January 6th committee documents

from his time in the White House. Said the court in a statement, none of us could fit our hand that far into the toilet. That one requires having been paying attention to previous week's news. On Tuesday, Donald Trump launched his new social media platform, Truth Social. Off to a disastrous start, would-be users complained about a 300,000 person waitlist and a host of error messages when creating a profile. Its app store page is blanketed in bad reviews repeating the same complaints. I can't create an account. I can't log in. My grandkids won't invite me to their weddings. I tried to sign up, but I got an error message that said, this is not a place of honor.

No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. Truth Social also faced a service outage that lasted more than 13 hours. I think we were all pretty skeptical of Truth Social, but it really does sound like they've fixed Twitter's worst feature, the fact that it exists. Interestingly, despite Trump's own history of using an Android phone, true social is, for now, iPhone only,

and that's how they'll keep out the real freaks. On Tuesday, Governor Greg Abbott told Texas state health agencies that medical treatments such as hormone blockers, which are given to transgender adolescents and are considered the standard of care for trans use, are child abuse and must be reported to authorities. Between this and the anti-abortion laws, you gotta wonder, what is keeping doctors in Texas? Right?

Abbott's order does not create a new law, but rather claims gender-affirming treatments constitute child abuse under current laws, following a recommendation from Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton. Those who are required to report abuse, like nurses and teachers, will face criminal charges if they fail to do so. Everybody should go to equalitytexas.org or transtexas.org to help those organizations on the ground. This is as bad as it gets. And I feel as though we're not truly recognizing just how serious a threat this is right now, even as much as I think people are calling attention to it. I think we have to keep paying attention and we should all remember that even though it's going to be hard, Abbott is up for reelection this November. The Texas primary is happening on Tuesday and we need to fight as hard as we can. I don't have anything else to say about it.

I find it very upsetting. That's it. Trump's Republicans suck. Trump's Republicans suck. Only the second worst story of the week. How is that fucking possible? In lighter news, just kidding, the Florida House of Representatives passed the Don't Say Gay bill, which is designed to ban classroom discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Florida continues to pass deranged bills, so let me say this before they make it illegal. Representative Joe Harding, who introduced this bill to the House, looks like a flesh-colored Homer Simpson. He looks like he could crack walnuts with his skull, which we also assume is the litmus test to enter the Republican Party of Florida. That's it. It's just insulting the man. Based on his appearance. That's all that is. I don't like your politics. I'm coming for your face. The one part of your whole thing

that you're not in charge of. It could have taken a few minutes to figure out how to attack him for something he did. But a lot was happening. He is ugly. Elon Musk blamed the Fun Police for forcing him to remove a fart sound as an

option for the horn. The Fun Police released a statement saying it was self-defense. Doesn't make any sense. A&E has pulled their new reality show, Adults Adopting Adults, from their schedule and removed mention of it from their website. Surprise! Everyone who watched the show won a free trip to the witness stand to testify

about the human trafficking they watched on A&E. Tom Holland revealed that one of the Spider-Men in Spider-Man No Way Home wore a fake butt during filming implicating Tobey Maguire,

Andrew Garfield or potentially himself. If that wasn't incredible enough Willem Dafoe wore a huge real penis. Which Spider-Man had the fake butt?

This will be Sherlock Homo's toughest case yet. 22 students were displaced from their dorm at BYU after a student making homemade rocket fuel for fun caused an explosion.

Initially, firefighters couldn't respond to the blaze because there was a scrunchie on the doorknob. The student was eventually apprehended by the fun police. When we come back, honk honk, big truck segment coming up with Ike Barinholtz.

And we're back. 2021 marked the worst year in pedestrian deaths in Los Angeles. Jesus Christ. And the hits keep coming in every way. It's a trend nationally. It will likely continue into this year. This past fall, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg even declared, in a crisis, we cannot and should not accept these fatalities

as simply a part of everyday life in America. Here to discuss how to keep pedestrians safe, We cannot and should not accept these fatalities as simply a part of everyday life in America. Here to discuss how to keep pedestrians safe, please welcome the spokesperson for the Light Trucks and SUV Association, as well as the publisher of Big Thick Pickups Quarterly, Gasper Speedman. Give Gasper a round of applause. Gasper, thank you. Yeah, oh my God. John Lovett.

Yeah. That's right. John Lovett, you beautiful son of a bitch. Thank you for having me on. Thanks for being here. I love the cast. I love it. You're beautiful. Son of a bitch. Thank you for having me on. Thanks for being here. I love the cast. I love it. You listen to Love It or Leave It? I listen to Love It or Leave It.

I listen to Pod Save America, Tommy Veeder's other one. I listen because I drive 23 hours a day and, you know, getting to know these big, beautiful bastards that I call pickup trucks. So eventually I cycle through your cast. Because Joe Rogan only puts out 11 hours of content a week. That's right. You hit the end of that. Once that's out, I've got to listen to my boys on the cast.

Hey, pundit. How you doing, pundit? Thanks for greeting the dog. I am flattered. But as a pedestrian does climb and more Americans start questioning, a lot of assumptions we've had about how we organize our cities and lives around cars instead of people. One concern is that car companies are making trucks

that are bigger and bigger. For example, look at this new vehicle rolling out this year. Can we see this thing? Look at this. This is a photo of an above average sized man. That's me. It's Gasper Speedman. Yep.

Standing in front of a GMC vehicle of some type that's supposed to be for everyday use, but looks like a tank. Can't you see? No, no, no. This right here. No, no, no. You got it all wrong. Can you minimize that photo for me real quick?

Thank you. No. See, here's the thing. Here's the thing. You got to slow down a little bit because the thing is, John, these huge ass trucks. That's my takeaway from that photo is I just saw a huge-ass truck that looks cool as hell. That right there was the 2024 Honda Desecrated.

When you see this massive piece of perfection, John, it looks like a bull had sex with an elephant. Wow. But they were both made of steel. That's cool. I cried when I first saw it. Look, obviously a beautiful image you've painted for us. Thank you.

Of some sort of interspecies metal intercourse. I think they're the same species. Bull and elephant? Same genus, perhaps. No kidding. Maybe you're right. I don't know. Maybe you're right.

Who knows? No one will ever know. Maybe it's like cabbage and cauliflower, how they're technically one thing. And then broccoli fits in there somewhere. Who knows? It's crazy. The thing is, it's crazy. Yeah.

But also, I was reading in the New York Times recently. Okay, okay. New York Times. Here we go. Here we go. New York Times. I was reading the New York Times recently. Hey, Paul, take a picture of me and fucking Paul Krugman here.

Go ahead, Paul. He's predicted a lot of things. He doesn't get the respect that he deserves. They reported that pedestrian deaths have been through the roof over the last few years, a phenomenon they credit to, and I'm quoting here, drivers' anxiety levels, larger vehicles, and fraying social norms. Now, I don't know how to fix the first and last one, but if larger vehicles are causing safety issues,

why do we keep doubling down on bigger trucks and SUVs? This is a good question. The official corporate line is because society is crumbling, John. And when it crumbles, you need a plan to drive all over the big chunks of society that are just toppling over the road. I'd like to see your fucking pussy Prius do that.

That's not happening, my friend. That little Prius, is it? I guess not. No, it's not. I guess my little pussy Prius isn't going to help when there's chunks of society in the road. No. Because of the low clearance. The low clearance? My faggy little Prius.

I don't think it's fair. I can't say that word. Yeah, it's cool. Joe Rogan covered this all in the pod yesterday. According to Mark... According to Mark Hallenbach, director of the Washington Transportation Center at the University of Washington, there's a portion of the population

that is incredibly frustrated and enraged, and some of that behavior shows up in their driving. We in our vehicles are given anonymity in this giant metal box around us, and we act out in ways that we wouldn't do face-to-face. You don't find that terrifying? You can't blame more pedestrian deaths and more rage. We have always been enraged in America.

Do you remember the 90s? Remember going postal? Remember Jay Leno being like, yeah, another post office guy shot the guy. It was a joke. We laughed. It's fun. It's Jay Leno.

It's Jay Leno. Yeah, Gaspar. Gaspar. Gaspar, I'm French. Gaspar. Gaspar. Born in Breton. 2020. Wow Wow you have such

an all American vibe but I guess you really I came here when I was very young So you're French Mama and Papa moved to Detroit when I was about four

It's a rich character It's a very I guess when you came you were small you really embraced America in a way that I fell in love with Detroit Zealotry of the convert

That's right. 2020 saw an increase in pedestrian deaths despite less traffic because of the pandemic. That's insane. No, no, no. You're insane. And what's insane is the power you're going to get when you use a hydraulic lift to slide behind the wheel of a 2025 Ford

F1 Defiler. This is Defiler, folks. We don't just drive on the road. We fuck it. Hydraulic lift, sold separately, but I can get you a great APR and a brand new pre-owned one. Gaspar, that doesn't make sense. If you just dig even a little into the data, you

see a direct correlation. Bigger vehicles kill, and we are making our vehicles bigger and bigger. Don't you feel any responsibility? I'd much rather dig into some sexy hot mud when I'm off roading. Hot mud? Where are you off roading? Where am I off roading? I've never been off roading, but I love

that my car has the option. That's the whole point of the car, man. Gaspar Speedman. Beautiful French name. All these pickup ads show people off-roading

when in reality, most people are driving their pickup trucks to work or to Costco. What do you call when my eyeline is too high to properly gauge the curb and I end up just blasting through the front door of a 7-Eleven? I'm going in. I'm knocking the taquitos over.

I've ruined the whole store. I think I'd call it a felony, but I guess you're saying that's off. What are you calling that off-roading? That's off-roading. I was off the road. I was in the 7-Eleven. He got us on a technicality. The new Toyota Defiler.

Go 7-Elevening. Tell me, you've seen the TikTok of the driver who can't see an entire car in front of him without looking at his front-facing camera. Why make a pickup truck that high? First of all, of course, I saw it. I love Tic Tac. I love the Island Boys. So I saw it, and I loved it, because with the new 2026 Hummer Abattoir,

you're above it all, brother. Okay, literally, I test drove one of these things in Las Vegas, and a bald eagle, she thought I can literally, I test drove one of these things in Las Vegas and a bald eagle, she thought I was attacking her nest. So I'm driving this car and it's so loud, man. And this eagle,

she came down and she went right through the window and the window's wide enough for her to... Gaspar, listen to me. I'm just asking that if we as a country

are driving while incredibly stressed, drunk, and as the very bonds of human connection unravel, then maybe we should steer our consumerism toward a more reasonably sized sedan. Ah, steer. Good one, John. That's why you're my favorite of the three guys. I've always said this to my other friends.

That is my favorite compliment. Did you listen to any of the other words that I said in that sentence? I heard country. I heard incredibly. I heard drunk. You got the gist. Yeah, okay, listen. I get it, I get it.

You're pretty down on big-ass pickups, John. You're an elitist. And it seems to me that trucks, real quick, just so we're clear, these are trucks that we are selling, that we are manufacturing. We're not like a trucker convoy. I don't know what those guys are doing. Those guys are fucking nuts. You're not associating yourself with those.

I have no association with those guys. Because they buy the trucks. You don't know what happens now. I don't know any of the nine of them. But listen, listen, the point is this. Don't interrupt me. Sorry. It seems to me you're down on trucks. There wouldn't be nearly so many people

in our cities in this country if cities were designed for people to walk in. So what I'm saying is maybe it's less about big, giant trucks and more about cities. Hello? That's not a bad point. Our cities absolutely should be built for pedestrian safety, not for accommodating yacht-sized trucks.

No, I was saying that sarcastically. Damn it, John. Ah, damn it all to truck hell. Gaspard, I have to ask, how much cocaine did you do before coming on this show? I did an American amount, my friend. Enough to fill the bed of a 2027 Dodge Crucifier. Christ himself, he would stand up a little straighter if he took a spin in this beautiful 12-foot cab.

The Dodge Crucifier, you can't even see the road. Jesus Christ. That's right. What can I say, John? I'm a truck lover. And before you ask, yes, that does mean I've had sex with my truck, who is my wife. Trucks can be women, too, John. All right.

Gaspar Speedman, everybody. Give it up for Gaspar. Stay for top, everybody. Stay for top. And thank you so much, Ike. And you can watch Ike Barinholtz in The After Party, which is an incredible show, now on Apple TV+.

Ike, thank you so much. Fuck that guy. Yeah, yeah, watch The After Party. When we come back, is that a nip in the air or a vibe shift on the horizon? Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Hey, we't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. New York Magazine's The Cut recently published an article titled,

A Vibe Shift Is Coming, the teaser of which asks, Will any of us survive it? What is a vibe shift, you ask? Per the piece, in this culture, sometimes things change, and a once-dominant social wavelength starts to feel dated. The article mostly explores the observations of a 35-year-old trend spotter, Sean Monaghan, as he looks at what's on the horizon, but the tone and tenor of the writing speaks to a deep terror of a vibe shift. It's M. Night Shyamalan's The Vibe Shift.

Instead of a beach that makes you old, whoever, it's reading trend pieces and being afraid of what the youths will think about, say, your new balances, or your whale tail, or your long male bangs. Personally, I think it's silly to be afraid of culture changing or getting stuck in the past. The ocean levels are rising, for God's sake. Then again, I'm getting older. Myself, more out of touch. A little long in the tooth. Every week, my teeth are longer and longer.

I should probably see a dentist, but is that a vibe? If an impending vibe shift is going to shake American culture to its core, well, then we might as well face it head on. Joining me now to discuss the vibe, welcome back Ike Barinholtz. And please welcome his co-star on the after party, out now on Apple TV+, Sam Richardson.

Hi, Sam. Thanks for being here. And from Freeform's single drunk female, Madison Shepard. Hi, thanks for being here. So, I have a question. Is this a think piece about a vibe shift or is this a think piece of coming to terms with being in your late 30s? Thoughts? I'm in my late 20s,

so I don't quite, I might be wrong audience for this whole thing. Sorry, my hair piece just came a little loose here in the back. Gotta pop that in. What do you think, Madison? I'm sorry, what was the question? I was looking at his hairpiece. I literally was like, really? Wow.

Really good lace front. Okay. 360? My god. For a backyard show? We love. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. I'm sorry, but what was the question? The question was, so basically, the piece says that there was a hipster indie music vibe.

There was a post-internet techno revival vibe. And then there was a hype beast woke vibe. And we're on the verge of a new vibe. Do you believe that that's true? Or do you believe this reporter is turning 36? Yeah. Listen, being born in 1986 is such a burden. You know, like it is really difficult.

I think there's always a shift in the vibes, I guess. You know, I do follow astrology. A lot of Scorpio on my chart, you may have guessed. But, yeah, I mean, of course it's changing. And this person's getting old. Sam, are you ready for a vibe shift? Yeah, yeah, man. I'm all about vibe shifts.

Are you ready for a vibe shift? Yeah. Yeah, man. I'm all about vibe shifts. Like, truly, the article is, like, really about, like, realizing that if you recognize a vibe shift, that you're too old. You know what I mean? Because otherwise, like, young people, they just flow through it. You know what I mean?

They're too busy vibing. They're too busy freaking vibing, baby. One thing I found out from the article is it's no longer the vibe to buy sneakers. I didn't know that. I found that out from the piece. It's all penny loafers now. I'm going flip flops, baby. How old do you think we have to be before we don't care about the vibe at all? Is it this age?

No. And I think that's the thing, too, right? Because, like Because middle age is about chasing the vibe. Midlife crises are about vibe chasing. Yeah. The movie City Slickers is about vibe. And each one of them

is chasing their own vibe. They were all seeking out a kind of cowboy vibe. Yes, but they were all looking for a vibe change in their life. Like Daniel Stern, he's having an affair with this young woman who works at a store. Billy Crystal's lost his smile. And Bruno Kirby had a problem. But yeah, so they were working on their vibes

by all finding a common vibe being cowboys. And do you think that one other vibe of the movie is the stilted nature of male friendship in which they can't have an open and honest heart-to-heart conversation until they may die in the woods. I believe it's when they deliver a cow. Yeah, a cow. Or the other one

gold. I'm sorry, what the fuck is this movie? I need a quiz note. I was really watching Clueless at the moment. I have no idea what any of you are referring to. It's a great question. Thank you for asking. Yeah. City Slickers is a film starring Billy Crystal and... Danny Stern.

Yes, and wonderful other people as well. And they're City Slickers. They're from the big city. They're from New York City. New York City. The Big Apple. The Big Apple. And they go on a vacation to a dude ranch.

But due to a series of snafus, they become responsible for a great deal of cattle. What the fuck? This will clear it up for you. Jack Palance was in it. Who is Jack Palance? And here's one other thing you have to understand. This was in the 1990s.

Oh, I was but an embryo, so of course I don't remember. This film made $180 million. This was one of the biggest movies of the year. Today, it would not come up on your algorithm until page seven on Paramount+. Back then, it was on the cover of magazines. It was the next big thing, and we couldn't stop talking about it. Billy Crystal's going to the country with jack palance it fucking ruled so anyway this is a segment about not getting old and keeping up

detailed exploration of city slickers here are some of the vibes that we are told are on the horizon. Extremely tight jeans. Are we in or out? I'm out on those. They don't do my body well. Chicken legs. You're not doing leg day? It's genetic. It's genetic. I don't know. It's fucking genetic, man. Give me a break.

You genetically don't do leg day? As long as the tight jeans revolution includes jeggings, I will feel included. Okay. Okay. I think that's good. I think we should do that. The loose fabric.

The return of indie sleaze. You know what that means? I like mass market sleaze. You know what? Pop sleaze. As somebody who was in their 20s in the early aughts, truly, I went to shows at the smell. You know what I mean? I've seen some things.

Really looking forward to it, frankly. New vibe to come. Everyone looking a little bit wet. I've got hyperhidrosis, so that's already my vibe. I think that's cool. I make it work. I make my genetic deficiencies fit the vibe. That's cool.

That's wet. That's style. Is athletes footed the vibe? Where are we at with that? It's a vibe you can smell. Oh, man. The vibe is hydrocortisone. Podcast being the new blogs?

That seems like it's happening. Yeah, probably. Kids aren't listening to podcasts. Except for this one, for sure. For sure they're listening. So, I'll be damned if I allow someone to call the next vibe shift like some kind of retro hipster Babe Ruth just because they had a sub stack that used to cost $600 a year.

As is the case with that person. That's also in the article. Which we're spending a good deal of time on. Fortunately for us, we've assembled a think tank of the people I already had on stage to discuss what we personally think the vibe shift will look like. All right. We have some options. Formal baseball caps that you can wear at dinner.

Thoughts? Yeah, yeah. No, that I like because sometimes my hair looks bad and I would rather. When does it look bad? Because that's incredible. Depends if my doctor is out of town or not, and I can get in. But I would like a fancy baseball cap.

I would fuck with that. Yeah, put a couple jewels on it. Yeah. A little bow tie. A little bow tie on top of it, and it can spin around if you're fancy. Pretty cool. Pretty cool.

Yeah. Check. That one is good. Can we just say one? Say whatever you want. Johnny Rockets. Yes. You know,

I feel like it's time. Maybe it comes back. It's cool. It's retro. It's Indies Lees. It's like two retros ago because it was like in the 80s,

they did the 50s. Yeah. Now in the 2020s, we're doing the 80s. Let's go all the way back. Happy Days is coming back, everybody. So Happy Days, which you also know a lot about.

You know, yeah, TV Land, though. You know what I mean? I will say I do know about TV Land. I did have basic cable. All the kids are on TikTok talking about Donnie Most. He played Ralph. Madison, you have any vibes you think are coming up next? Definitely click babyity articles.

I think it's going to be like even more coming back, like in an upworthy type of way. Okay, I think that'd be great. I saw a headline today that read as follows. Victoria's Secret has a model with Down syndrome, finally. It's true. And I will think about that finally for the rest of my life.

As long as I live, that finally is seared into my mind. What's it doing there? What's its claim? What? I also think that chain emails might be coming back. That's interesting. You gotta forward it to five of your besties or something. Yeah.

It's more intimate. Very intimate. Spamming is very personal. I like the ones that tell you if you don't do it, you're going to have bad luck. Yeah, exactly. A family member will injure a heart. Sam, you have any vibes coming our way? You know what?

Underoos. Underoos, for sure. And I'm talking about like briefs. Just straight up like briefs. Underoos were cartoons, but now they're going to be like movie stars yeah yeah for sure you're sure show like um like a jack palance the last that'd be cool yeah yeah cool i got lafarges yeah yeah really loose ones yeah super loose squid game underoos i think that's cool anybody want to throw any more vibes?

early 19th century workout modes that's cool you know the thing where you strap on it and it just shakes you and they're like it shakes away your fat yes like medicine balls big mustaches very big barrel chest

tiny tiny legs more singlets singlets. Singlets is a vibe. Singlets is a vibe. Penny farthing bicycles. Yes. I'm going to toss mutton chops on there.

For sure. For sure. I feel like memorizing people's phone numbers might come back. You know? Wow. Vintage. Vintage. Just like, oh, I remember. You know?

I love that. It's a flex. What a move. What a flex. No, no, I got it. You're not going to write it down? I love that. It's a flex. That is, what a move. What a flex. No, no, I got it. You're not going to write it down? I got it. Like a waitress.

Remembering the whole table's order. How about young people having some dang respect? Yeah. That's exactly right. That's the vibe shift we really need these days. Finally. When we come back, disorder in the court. I don't know what that means.

And we're back. The Germans have a word. They have a lot of them. A whole language, in fact. But I'm talking specifically about the word schadenfreude. It describes the terrible, shameful pleasure one might experience in another's misfortune. In related news, Donald Trump is currently the target of 19 legal actions covering a host of alleged wrongdoings. We've got the Fulton County investigation into his efforts to undermine the election results in Georgia. Eric Swalwell and

Benny Thompson are joining forces with other House members, as well as several Capitol Police officers, to sue Trump over his role in January 6th. The New York Attorney General, Tish James, is digging up dirt on the Trump Organization and its longstanding history of defrauding buyers, allegedly. And that's just for starters. Then again, when hasn't Donald Trump been in waiting through legal troubles? It can be difficult to remember how many lawsuits and investigations Donald Trump has run up against.

Joining me once again is our wonderful guests, Sam Richardson, Madison Shepard, and Ike Barinholtz. Hello. Do you find it difficult to pay attention to Trump news right now? As in like, are we still, I just needed to know. I don't believe it will matter in my gut. I know it's important. I know there's real possibility, but I don't

believe in my emotional parts that it's going to work. Your heart maybe? Yeah. Yeah. I know. He makes me feel the same way. I'm like, what are words? I go catatonic. Oh, my God. See? Same.

No, I see that. I prefer to think of him as like the who. Or like, I like his old shit. And I paid attention to it. But the new stuff, it's kind of like, it's not, I can't get excited for it. This has nothing to do with his legal troubles. But how do you feel about the fact that on the new Trump social network, Truth, tweets are called truths and retweets are called re-truths. I know it cause I'm on it. And I sent you a direct truth yesterday and you truthed me.

I did. I saw it. I received it. It had the little truth delivered, but I didn't respond. Sam, you want truth social? I will be once I get past that 300,000 person waiting list they put me at the absolute bottom and I don't know why yeah I don't know why either we'll never know we'll never know why

just checking my email every morning so there's no way that we could unpack all of Trump's legal woes past and present in one podcast episode so we're going to make you three do it in the form of a trivia game. Are you ready to test your knowledge? It's Trump versus the law. Yes. I'm ready.

Yes. Earlier this month, the Trump Organization's accounting firm, Mazars USA, publicly declared that they could not testify to the reliability of the financial statements provided by the company from 2011 to 2020. provided by the company from 2011 to 2020. According to court filings, at the beginning of Trump's campaign in 2015, what did Trump say his net worth was at that point? And this was Debbie Mazur? You said Mazur, so I'll say Debbie Mazur. Let's assume it's Debbie Mazur.

So Trump said his value? Yeah, what was Trump's net worth in 2015, according to Trump? $400 trillion zillion. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It was 8.7 billion.

But one month later, what did he say it was? 20 billion. What? Just. It was 10. And how much did he say the Trump brand was worth? An intangible and impossible to prove sum he applied to his net worth. Madison, what do you think?

Oh, he probably said like, what sounds really, maybe like three billion. Hey, Brian. Oh my God. What can I say? Just press the ding. You know what I mean? We don't need color commentary. No, that was good.

We don't need a Bob Costas, the fucking dings. Oh, I'm sorry. We're having a moment. That was very you and Sean. Sorry, speaking to the people. I'm so rude. All right. Trump claimed his New York City apartment was 30,000 square feet and worth $300 million.

What is the actual square footage and what did they later correct the worth to? I think his real square footage is probably like an L.A. apartment. It's probably like 1,200. You know what I mean? It's probably like a very large junior one bed. Here's where I put my mini fridge. My roommate's is over there. He's in classes at UCB, so he's not here right now.

His apartment is 11,000 square feet. They claimed 30,000, and they also had to admit that it was overstated by $200 million. That's just a little math foible. It happens to the best of us. How many mansions, Sam, did Trump claim were on his Westchester County estate that do not actually exist? I'm going to say eight. So close. It was seven.

It was seven. You should get half credit for that. That's pretty close. He told me otherwise. He's real competitive. All right, Ike, over to you. Previously, when Trump's New York attorney general filed suit against Trump in 2018, she alleged persistent illegal conduct at the president's charity organization, including which of the following?

A, repeatedly using the nonprofit's money to pay down Trump's debts. B, using the nonprofit's money to decorate a golf resort. C, using the nonprofit's money in a 2016 campaign event cash giveaway. D, using the nonprofit's money to settle lawsuits. E, using the nonprofit's money to place ads in Trump hotels. F, using the nonprofit's money to buy a $10,000 portrait of Trump for a Trump-owned sports bar, or G, all of the above. Ooh. You think I

don't follow David Farenthold on Twitter? It's all of the above! He got it. And he showed his work. True or false, Madison? Sure. A former head of the IRS's non-profit division said the Trump charity lawsuit, there's little else Trump could have done that would have made it worse. Um, Madison. Sure. A former head of the IRS's nonprofit division said the Trump charity lawsuit,

there's little else Trump could have done that would have made it worse. True, right? Yeah, that's right. That's absolutely right. For sure. Sam, true or false? In a deposition, the treasurer for Trump's charity said he didn't know he was on the board of directors for the previous 10 years. True.

I love that one. All right. It was Tito Ortiz. According to New York Attorney General Barbara Underwood, in 2018, when was the last year that Trump's charity's board of directors actually met to conduct oversight of any kind? 2012. So close.

1999. They forgot to do oversight for 20 years. Forgot. Maybe the Y2K bug messed up the computer. Yeah, that's what it was. It was the bug. Your Honor, it was Y2K. Trump's Taj Mahal casino was demolished in 2021, but in 2007, the resort

had to pay out $1.2 million to a 74-year-old woman when what happened to her in her hotel room, anyone can steal it. Anyone can take it. Did she get burned by the water? No. Toilet overflow. You can see it. Fell in take it. Did she get burned by the water? No. Toilet overflow. You're in the... You can see it. You can see it. Fell in the bathtub.

No, the toilet just collapsed. Just collapsed. She went up. I'm giving it to Sam. Yes! Yes! This week, in a civil suit bought by the Capitol Police officers concerning the January 6th riot, Judge Amit Retta said that the case can move forward, but only for which defundant? A, Donald Trump, B, Donald Trump Jr., C, Rudy Giuliani, or D, Representative Mo Brooks?

I think Madison, you're up. Okay, B. So close. Yeah? But it was A. Trumps can move forward, the rest they let go. Mo Brooks would never do something like that. He's a good friend of my dad's.

something like that. He's a good friend of my dad's. And finally, which delicious seafood appetizer does Trump's Director of Global Security, who received immunity from the Manhattan DA this past fall in exchange for his testimony, share his name? Anyone can take it. Tuna? Paul Scampi.

I was going to say Scampi. Obviously, you guys don't read the news. I was going to say Scampi. I was going to say Scampi. No, no, no. Obviously, you guys don't read the news. You've never heard of Charles Lobster. Stephen Lobsterclaw? Paul Scallop? I really... I was going to keep it going.

Keep going. Tuna? I'm going to say it again. Alan Rupert. Shrimp. Bob Shishimi. Simon Crabb. Catfish?

So close. It israbb. Catfish. So close. It is Michael Calamari Jr. I almost said it. I almost said it. What a fucking name. So close. I almost said Squidman. That is the greatest name of all time.

Michael Calamari. It rules. It rules. It rules. It rules. When we come back, the rant wheel. Please. Michael Calamari Jr.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. We have some, just a little housekeeping. We have some very exciting shows coming up. Our first tour show is in San Francisco. It's sold out. But we have a star-studded

pretty gay lineup. Pretty gay lineup. Not all gay, but close. George M. Johnson, Ezra Klein, Guy Branham, Jared Goldstein, and Holmes are all going to be there in San Francisco. It's going to be a great show. If you didn't get tickets, you'll just have to listen. But show comes out Saturdays. Thanks for playing.

In LA, we're leaving my backyard and we're heading to Dynasty Typewriter. On March 10th, I'll be joined by an incredible lineup, including Joel Kim Booster, Jenny Yang, and Councilwoman Nithya Raman. Get your tickets for Love It or Leave It's tour or weekly shows here in Los Angeles at crooked.com slash events.

Also, it's been quite a week of news and our daily news team at What A Day have had some great breakdowns of Florida's passage of the Don't Say Gay Bill, the ongoing Russia-Ukraine conflict, and more. New episodes of What A Day drop every Monday through Friday at 5 a.m. wherever you get your podcasts. Now it's time for the rant wheel. This week on the wheel, we have people who share memes of viral videos too late. Uber scams. Women in their 30s trying to do the splits.

Oscars cutting eight categories from the live show. Prince Charles giving the queen COVID. Texas targeting trans kids. Spam risk. Flight attendants and how we have to pay them more. Someone's against that. They could be for it and they didn't understand the email. Let's spin the wheel.

It has landed on Uber scams, which was suggested by Sam, I believe. This is the thing that happens with Uber. You call an Uber, and then when the Uber driver doesn't want to pick you up, they'll just drive around for a bunch and then hope that you cancel. So then they collect a little cancellation fee.

And it happens to me so much. I've gotten to the point where I don't even get mad about it now. No, I'm still mad. But I will keep the thing open, and then I'll have another friend call an Uber, and we'll take it to wherever we're going. And I just leave that thing up for an hour plus and they just like circle around and then eventually they cancel. But it is the most frustrating thing in the world. To have that person just be like, man, screw it.

Ha ha ha. $10 for nothing. It makes me so mad. I've never seen him this upset. I've known him for many years. It's because it's just wrong. I'm relying on you. The agreement is I give you this, you pick me up. The app is what makes the decision.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Don't take out the issues that you have with the app on Sam. On me? You know what I mean? You're on the same side. It's really passenger and driver versus the app. Yeah.

Now, sometimes you see that that happens. That person has the app open, but they're asleep at home. So that one, I'm like, I get it. I get it. You gotta finish your BM or whatever and then kind of get out there. I'll grant that one. Time for a BM is not something you're objecting to.

Everybody's got to. But I see you driving around. I see the loop and I see the pause and the stop and I saw you go the other way and I see you go downtown. No, no, no. No, no, no. We say no to that. No, no, no. And I told you, you could always call me. I'll pick you up whatever time. I know. I just don't want to...

I want to use it for a special occasion. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Prince Charles giving the Queen COVID. Of course he did. Let's spin it again. It has landed on women in their 30s trying to do the splits, suggested by Madison. Listen, I don't know what your TL looks like. The algorithm's supposed to know us.

It does not know me, okay? Let's just say this. Ladies, if the last time you did the splits was in the 1900s, sis, maybe it's time to give it up. You know, like, rejection is protection. You know, like, really, girl? Don't. You know, I don't want a 30-day challenge to get, like, an inch closer to the ground.

Like, it doesn't. And also, like, by the way, like, your pH can't handle it. Like, who the fuck are we? You didn't put all that good kitty on the floor? Where fucking shoes go? No, ma'am. Keep that kitty to the sky and keep it pushing.

Please stop trying to do the splits. That's a young man's game. Period. You know? I've thought about it a lot. Above the ground. Let's spin it again. the ground. Let's spin it again.

It has landed on people who share memes or viral videos too late. Yeah. So here's the deal. About a week ago, almost a week ago exactly, I got sent a clip that someone sent me of Julia Fox from the film Uncut Gems,

which I just watched again the other day. It's so good. This is an imitation of Sandler in that movie. Holy fucking shit, what are you talking about? Look at this. You're going to fucking cum when you see this. This is fucking amazing. Incredible.

So I was watching it, so she did this interview, Julia Fox, where she was like, I'm with some news for Benny Softy and Uncut Jobs. And it was super funny. I saw it, and I was like, oh, that's funny. And then I just went about my life. And then I got sent that 40 times this week.

And I don't know what the solution here is, guys. You're saying you didn't want me to send it to you 30 times. John, I said I'm doing the part. I'll be there. I don't know what the rule is. I just feel like there should be some kind of device where if someone sends you a meme or something, and it's

like the 10th time you've got it, you can freeze them. Or they're in a little time out until they have time. Like, I don't want someone to send me, like, Grumpy Cat now. I don't want someone to send me Uncaught Joms. Okay, I have a pitch.

Okay. So you know how when you go to share an article on Twitter, it asks you if you want to read the article. And you're like, no, if I wanted to read the article, I wouldn't be on Twitter. I'm here to show people this thing that I want them to think I read

because I think it reflects well on me, the performance of me that I am doing on Twitter. That's what this is. Read the article. What if when someone tries to share a meme with you, a little button pops up and says, are you sure you want to send it? 75,000 people have already shared this on their current feed. That's all I'm asking for. That's all I'm asking for. That's all I'm asking for. I think that'd be cool.

That's a very cool feature. And this is on my new app, Truth, which is now available in the App Store. And we're going to get you sorted out soon, buddy. I mean, just within the month is all I'm asking for. We'll see. We'll see what happens. We'll see what happens.

No promises. I'll pay a premium. Truth Social, where the Civil War was about agrarian stuff. Let's spin it again. Lend it on spam risk. This is a real simple one. You know, everybody gets those little spam risk calls.

Hello, I'm calling from the Department of International Security and we need to make sure. Please don't call. First off, I'll call just to

play around and be like, what's going on? Is everything all right? And they're like, and then they act annoyed like, oh, what is it? Okay, what's your name? Let me look it up. And I'm like,

my name is Bruce Wayne. What's happening here? My parents just died in an alley. But then what's the more annoying part is that I have a Detroit, I have a 313 area code, so I get those calls based on Michigan scams. So those come at me

at five in the morning, and that's the true annoying part. I'll talk to you, whoever you are, but not at 5 a.m. No. You're lonely, but then you're sleeping. It's a lonely pandemic. Exactly.

That's it. Bit of a spoiler alert with Bruce Wayne's parents. Sorry about that. Never knew that's how they died. Well, Batman comes out March 4th. They're not going to include a scene where his parents die. I swear to God. Why would they do that in a movie?

I'm going to go see that movie in a theater. And if I see fucking pearls fly off of a wane in an alley, I'm going to lose my fucking shit. No. No more pearls in the alley. You know what I would love? Is if you hear the gunshot, then you see like, he blocks it. He's like, guess what? I'm already Batman. And then pearls in the alley. You know what I would love? If you hear the gunshot, then you see he blocks it. He's like, guess what? I'm already Batman.

And then he beats him up. This is an unrelated kid. This is a different kid. He's like, boom. But that could be a spoiler. We don't know. We don't know. It's a guess. It's not a spoiler if you're right about something you haven't seen. That's one of the rules. That's true. That's a prediction.

That's true. Yeah, I predicted it. Let's spin it again. I guess. It has landed on music in Pam and Tommy. Yes. What the fuck? Here's the thing. First, the fuck here's the thing first the fuck all you cannot put text on the screen that says

february 1996 and then play a song that came out in summer of 98 i don't think so are you fucking kidding me there's mishmashes yeah of years and music on that show they're like yeah i mean of course they're gonna get married and what was the song they played? Bang a bus at their wedding or something like the timeline doesn't add up. I watched a lot of much music. I had MTV. OK, hello, stolen cable. And I'm so highly annoyed because I mean, shouts to the sink coin for these artists. Like, absolutely get your money.

But like, how old is the person doing the music supervision on this show? I have questions. Also, I hope you get a lot of work. That's really cool. I don't want to come for your job, but also, come on, baby. It's Google-able. On top of that, also, they'll do a flashback. This is 1993, but then they'll play a song from 69.

And then I'm like, where am I? Okay, and I love the show. It's perfect. I'm here for the nipple prosthetics on everybody. Like, I'm here for a nice looking nip. But like, come on. Oh, sweetie. I think we can all agree, though,

whether it's Pam and Tommy or a Six Flags commercial, the soundtrack of our lives is Vengabus. Absolutely. 100%. I'm honestly reeling because of what it means that there are prosthetic nipples, like the layers of implications for what it means for what you see in that show. And I think it's really, for me, validating my decision to view it as unclickable.

Not for me, not content for me at all. I don't want to know the backstory of that. And I hope to die without knowing. Yeah, that's all right. They stretched it out for seven episodes. I'm like, I don't know it lasted even that long. Seven episodes for... The sex tape, you mean.

It's like the Peter Jackson Beatles documentary. It's just raw footage. We found 84 hours, 120 audio hours, so there's times where you see them fucking, but they're talking

about breakfast. One more. We have one more. Let's do one more spin. And not a funny one, John. Take us home. One wacky one. It has landed on how much dairy there is in keto meals. It's too much dairy. It's too much dairy. It's too much dairy. I don't know how I'm supposed to eat all this fucking dairy.

I can't have carbs. I'm Jewish. I can't have dairy. What's left? Meat and leaves. I can't do it. Avocado. I gotta go to San Francisco in a week

I'm not ready Yeah You're gonna lose a couple pounds But you're gonna eat so much cheese You're never gonna shit again When we come back We'll We'll end on a high note

We'll end on a high note. And we're back. Here it is, the high note. Hey, my name is Casey. I'm from Maine. My high note this week is my son, who is 17 and started the pandemic by finishing his freshman year online, went to a basketball game at high school. It was the first time he had the opportunity to do something like that, and he came home, and he was so happy. He was like, I finally feel like I have something to do besides stare at my phone.

It's been a rough couple of years for these kids in high school, and it's so nice to see him excited to get out and do stuff again. Thanks so much. Hi, Levitt. My name is Corinne. I'm calling from Oakland County in Michigan. And my high note of the week is the fact that I got to attend an LGBT candidates forum. And one of the people who is running is my wonderful friend Amanda Shelton, who is running for circuit court judge. my wonderful friend Amanda Shelton, who is running for circuit court judge, and when she is, knock on wood,

hopefully elected, would be the first lesbian judge in the county. And very excited to see it and hopefully help get out there, get petition signed, and make it happen. Thanks. Hi, this is Taylor calling from Northern California. I am calling in with my high note and my high note is that after 15 years in a hospital, I finally got to leave my job that I hated and I became a union organizer and a benefits coordinator and I get to do what I love and help advocate for other people. And to add a cherry on top of that with my new job, I am able to and was able to buy my very first house. And I bought a cute little house

and I'm super excited and get to paint. Spend my next 30 years updating a house that I bought. So thanks, love what you do, bye. Thanks to everybody who submitted high notes this week. If you wanna leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 213-262-4427. That is our show. Thanks to everybody who submitted high notes this week. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 213-262-4427.

That is our show. Thank you to Ike Barinholtz, Sam Richardson, Madison Shepard, and everybody who called in with a high note. There are 255 days until the 2022 midterm election. Have a great weekend. Thank you.