Lovett or Leave It - Introducing: Edith!

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

"Edith!" starring Golden Globe winner and Academy Award nominee Rosamund Pike, is a scripted comedy podcast about the untold true-ish story of Edith Wilson, America's secret first female president. For almost a year after Woodrow Wilson's stroke, Edith issued orders as her husband. She would fire people as her husband. She would even cause international incidents as her husband. Along the way, her numerous political enemies inched closer to discovering her secret. It's one of the most unbelievable scandals in American history and now? Now, finally, it is a satirical, narrative podcast. New episodes every Thursday. Subscribe and listen to more episodes now on apple podcasts, spotify, or wherever you're listening nowCreated and written by Gonzalo Cordova and former Lovett or Leave It Head writer Travis Helwig, "Edith!" features an incredible cast of actors including Rosamund Pike, Clark Gregg, Stephen Root, D'Arcy Carden, Esther Povitsky, Diedrich Bader, Tom Amandes, Brandon Scott Jones, Mary Holland, Adam Conover, Alyssa Limperis, and more. Directed by Maureen Bharoocha.Episode 1. Two Old Ghosts"Waging a war against half the globe has been really stressful for me." Sure World War I is over, but the brutal war inside the White House has only just begun. And the unelected traitor in the President's midst might not be who you think it is.

Hey, everybody. It's me, Lovett. I'm so excited to share with you the very first episode of Crooked and Q-Code's brand new podcast, Edith, written by Gonzalo Cordova and former Lovett or Leave It head writer and Mike Bloomberg speechwriter, Travis Hellwig. Edith explores the untold, truish story of Edith Wilson, America's secret first female president. It's one of the most unbelievable scandals in American history. And now it's finally a podcast. I think it's kind of shameful of Travis and Gonzalo to call a female president a scandal. But what can you do? I think you're going to love the show. So while you're listening, make sure you search for Edith on your favorite podcast app and smash that follow or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode. You'll know you found the right show

because you'll see a photo of Rosamund Pike, who stars as Edith Wilson. Without further ado, please enjoy the episode. I think you're going to love it. Have you heard this one? There's these two widowed sisters and they live together in a mansion. And they love each other and things are pretty good for a while until one of them dies. And then pretty soon after the other one dies, and naturally they come back as ghosts. One day, the younger sister says to the older sister, Do you know why ghosts are transparent? And the older sister says, No, why? And the younger sister says, Because we have nothing left to hide.

The older sister thinks and says, Well, in that case, you should know that I slept with your husband. And the younger sister says, I knew that gonorrhea looked familiar. Shame it killed us both. The point is, I'm already dead, so I have no reason to lie. Ignore the textbooks, ignore the historians. I'm going to tell you what really happened in the White House

in the fall of 1919. My name is Edith Wilson, and I was not the first female president. No, don't put it on the ground. I want it on the right side, starboard side, or whatever you want to call it. Mrs. Taylor, sorry to bother you, but would you mind moving your luggage out of the hallway? It's blocking other first-class guests from boarding their rooms. And ma'am, waiting to cross in our hallway right now is the First Lady. Yes, and my husband is an executive at Bethlehem Steel. Did you just say Bethlehem Steel? I know someone from Bethlehem Steel. What's his name?

He's been to some White House parties. He's... Oh, got it. Charles Schwab. Schwab? Mr. Charles M. Schwab? Is that... That's him. Not the bank one. The steel one. Okay, you know what? I don't have time for this. That Charles Schwab. At every party, it's like he... It's like he clings to my every word, you know? Next time I should ask him if he knows your husband, Mr., uh, what's his name? Samuel Reginald Taylor. Right, Mr. Samuel Reginald Taylor. This whole interaction would give us something to talk about. And like I said, Charles loves talking to me. He clings to my every word,

really listens. I'll move my bags right away. Thank you. You're a doll. Madam First Lady, that was incredible. Do you really know that man, Charles Schwab? No. You think I became First Lady to spend time with people from Pennsylvania? God. What do you think of Paris so far, Trudy? I love it.

But when do you think they'll be done with the Eiffel Tower? Oh, they are done. That's what it's supposed to look like. Really? It's just like scaffolding? Wow, that is so European. It's true art. So bold. Looks like a drilling rig.

This is Trudy. She's my best friend. She's in her 20s. I'm in my 40s. She has an old soul, and I have a young everything. Oh, I'm so glad you could finally make it. These were a boring few weeks without you. How was your trip?

Good. You know, my fear of open waters? Full of darkness waiting to fill my lungs with watery death as the suction from the sinking ship drags me to the ocean floor, my flesh immediately torn apart by crabs as my loved ones bury my coffin filled with nothing but their grief and pain and some rocks, barely flared up. Trudy's mother died when her boat sank, crossing the Atlantic. Her father died a few years later, and now she's an orphan. In fact, that was around the time we met. But if you're reading into the psychology of our friendship, don't. Oh, I saw Woodrow in the hallway. He was looking out a window, whispering,

hello, new dawn, even though it was noon. He's been like that ever since the fighting stopped. It means he's happy. You should have heard him last night. He was on a poetry bender. happy. You should have heard him last night. He was on a poetry bender. Breathless with adoration, the broad sun is sinking down in its tranquility. William Wordsworth. That's what I love about you, Woodrow. Other men would have just said, when's dinner? That's Woodrow Wilson, 20th president of the United States, and maybe the best we've ever had, and surprisingly sensitive. He loved poetry, best we've ever had and surprisingly sensitive he loved poetry art long walks on the beach he was pretty racist but it was the poetry that won my heart i'm in such a good mood edith i don't know if you could tell but waging a war against half the globe was really stressful for me oh i noticed i've also noticed your headaches have gotten better they have it's all finally over i won a

war me a man who's never been punched. And with the League of Nations, I'm going to end the next war before it even begins. Oh, sweet victory. Sweet victory, thy taste. Put a pin in the poetry. We're here. So we got to work on the League of Nations, which is basically the United Nations, but two decades earlier. A prompt rejoinder would prove propitious if we want the Europeans to authorize without rollback or concession vis-a-vis the treaty. This is Robert Lansing, Secretary of State. He's boring. He's dry. He's a human golf clap. You know what, Mr. President? The First Lady explains it much better than I ever could. Please. So yeah, I like him. Look, Woodrow, it may not be popular with the Europeans and the other allies.

They've all been so moody since half their continent burned down. But if we tie up the League of Nations as much as possible into the peace treaty, it makes it that much harder for Republicans to oppose us. I mean, are they really going to take a stance to be anti-peace treaty? They instantly look crazy to any American simply scanning the newspapers, wrapping up the fish they bought at the market. My God, I'm good at this. That is a great point.

If we all had wives like yours, Mr. President, maybe Washington would be such a goddamn mess. Oh my God, so funny, so true. They're actually going to do what I say. I mean, I won't get credit for it, and I won't be allowed to assist with the more intricate negotiations, but... So what? How many First Ladies had any impact on foreign policy? I can only think of one, and her name is Edith Wilson. Oh, that is so sweet. That's like a compliment to me and an insult to like 27 other women. Oh, that reminds me. I've been going over the seating chart for the Belgian state dinner.

Oh, that. Should we seat the ambassador with the royals or the fellow diplomats? Does it matter? I mean, compared to, you know, all the big stuff? I think it's exciting. With this seating chart, we can start new friendships, cement old bonds, inspire illicit extramarital affairs that end in tragedy. Trudy, this is Washington. Would you want to have an affair with anyone here? No. No. No way. Definitely not. Teddy Roosevelt? Why would you ask me about Teddy Roosevelt? A man whose biceps constantly glisten from the morning hunt. Not my type.

Trudy's husband is actually Woodrow's doctor, Dr. Cary Grayson, who is also Woodrow's best friend. That's right. Woodrow's best friend is literally his doctor, which, honestly, for a man who gets sick as often as Woodrow, it saves us a lot of money. So, you actually like doing this? Yes, it's like a puzzle. I love puzzles. I wish

I could find the part of this job that I love. I mean, God, I feel like I'm missing a puzzle piece that most first ladies have. That's why I bring you everywhere, Trudy, because you're that missing puzzle piece for me. Well, I am asymmetrical. symmetrical. The war is over. The war is over. The war is over. I saved you a seat. Thanks, Judy.

I never thought I'd be here amongst esteemed guests in the Hall of Mirrors. I can't see. It's not much to see. Some old men are signing the treaty. Wow, and where's Woodrow? He's approaching the table. He's holding up the pen. He's signing.

Is he sweaty? Yes, how'd you know? I always get sweaty when signing my name. You do? I'm like, how did I do it last time? What if I do it differently? What if the pen's filled with blood? And what if a shark senses that blood? I think Woodrow can handle signing his own name, Trudy. It's like 75% of his jaw. percent of his jaw. Edith, can you do me a favor? What do you need? Could you go to Lansing's room and invite him up in a few minutes? Okay, but are you sure you still want him up here for a little celebration toast? You look a little... It's just a small headache. It'll go away. I just, I just need a minute. Okay. Just rest a few minutes. I'll go get Lansing. The thing about Lansing is he rose to one of the most powerful positions in government.

He negotiated amongst the most complex international treaties in United States history. Lansing? Are you in the study? He graduated and passed the bar by the age of 25. Your front door was open and I... So you'd think someone as smart as Lansing would never be dumb enough to leave a letter like the one I just saw sitting there on his desk. He did. Oh, my God. What are you doing here?

Oh, Lansing, you scared me. Woodrow wants to have a quick celebration toast. Of course. I can't wait to hear the beautiful poem Woodrow has chosen this time I hope it rhymes But that's the thing about smart people They're fucking idiots I couldn't believe it Right on the desk

In plain view. Lansing just left it there. A letter addressed to Senator Henry Cabot Lodge. Oh my God, what? That is insane. Who is that? Senator Lodge? He's like Woodrow's greatest political enemy. You'll actually meet Henry Cabot Lodge later, but all you need to know about him is this. What the president has done by tying this League of Nations to the peace treaty is to hold our great country hostage. Zero approval from Congress. The president has started the process to annex the Americas to the European system. This may be a strange thing to say out loud, but I am Woodrow's greatest political enemy.

Oh my god, so Lansing is evil and we have to destroy him. Maybe. Maybe not. I mean, it's possible that they're just old enemy. Oh my god, so Lansing is evil and we have to destroy him. Maybe. Maybe not. I mean, it's possible that they're just old friends. Or maybe they're secret lovers. Trudy, you literally think everyone is secret lovers. Yet I've never been wrong. Yes, you have. A lot. Thanks to politicians like Lodge causing a fuss over nothing, Woodrow was forced to make speeches convincing the people that the League of Nations wasn't terrifying. But here's the thing about Woodrow.

There's one thing he truly loves. Performing. Any man with half a soul would see this through. And as an optimist, I believe the soul of Senator Lodge is still at least half full. Half full of what? Well, that depends which party you're in. Madam First Lady, you wrote that line right. Incredible job.

Thank you, Lansing. You can tell Lodge that one was mine. I, uh... God bless you. Excuse me? Joking, joking. God bless the United States of America. Yes, yes, very good. I, uh...

A hell of a speech, Mr. President. Thank you, Lansing. That was amazing, my love. Next stop, beautiful Indiana. Will you be paying the Vice president a visit when we arrive? I mean, I would, but... He doesn't know which whorehouse Marshall visits on Tuesdays. I was going to put it nicer, but...

Yes, pretty much that. I get it. Vice president Marshall is a useless drunk, but he's good for a laugh, which is why I try and get a drink with that man whenever he is sober enough to get drunk. That piece of information, that interested me. So I put on my Sunday worst and I went to see the vice president. You know how Democrats have a jackass for a mascot?

Vice President Thomas Marshall is that jackass. He does have one very valuable skill. He's good at getting people drunk and learning their secrets. Edith, should we even be here? Definitely. I have to be certain about Lansing before telling Woodrow. Woodrow is sensitive. If I tell him, it'll wreck his confidence, which will utterly kill his speaking abilities.

He's a performer, Trudy. He's an artist. No, yeah, I know. And Lansing is a lightweight. If he had even won beer with the vice president, I'm sure he said way more than he should. I mean, everyone does. Yes. I mean, unless you mean morally. In which case, Trudy, this is politics.

If we bind ourselves in the girdle of morality, we lose, Trudy, we lose. No, yeah, I meant, are women even allowed in this pub? We're not women, Trudy. We're. No, yeah, I meant, are women even allowed in this pub? We're not women, Trudy. We're the First Lady of the United States of America. And guest. Look, there he is. The small man getting up there on that table. Oh, and I don't bury me at all

Just pickle my balls in alcohol Put the booze at my feet and up to my head. If I don't drink it up, if I don't drink it up, if I don't drink it all up, that's when you know that I'm dead. Holy crap, that's him? You surprised he's a drunk? No, I'm surprised he has range. Go fetch him a drink. And one for me, too. A water, but put it in a dark glass so he can't tell. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Watch it. Excuse me. Thomas. What? Madam First Lady? Shh.

No one knows I'm here. Welcome to Indiana, home of no one caring who the fuck we are. Here are your drinks. Thank you, sweetie. You got me a drink, Edith? Oh, thank you. Here, sweetie. Little tip.

Oh, thank you, but I'm not a waitress. I'm actually Trudy. I'm here with... Hey, waitress! Another round here. Okay, right away, sir. Edith, I don't think I've ever seen you with a drink in your hand. I have to be honest.

I'm here because I need something. Wow. You need something from me? Well, I'm flattered. I never dreamt a lady as refined as you would ever require my assist... Sorry. Choked on my own spit. What do you need? Robert Lansing and Henry Cabot Lodge are communicating.

They're sending each other letters. Why? What are they up to? Hmm, well, I can tell you, but only under one condition. You beat me in a drinking competition. Yeah, if you can match me shot for shot, straight whiskey, and still ask me that question verbatim,

I tell you everything. And if I win, you give me $500. Wait, really? No, I'm me $500. Wait, really? No. I'm messing with you. Oh, thank God. Okay. Lansing is working with Lodge. Yeah, those two are like Harvard's admissions policy and anti-Semitism. Inseparable. Lansing is telling everyone who listens that he thinks the League of Nations is a huge history-level mistake.

You know how the League covenant is now tied with the peace treaty. Yes, of course. It was my idea. Well, that's he thinks it's the dumbest shit ever. As in, you handed your enemies incredible leverage. If Woodrow doesn't budge, they can trash the one piece of paper keeping us from global war. They got a royal flush. Which they can play as long as they never want to win another election. Hey, hey, those are his words, not mine. I don't really follow politics. Heartbeat away from the presidency. But Lansing does,

and he's feeding the information to Lodge, so Lodge can blow it up into a huge scandal. I mean, he's gonna beat you guys with it like a billy club. Why? Why is Lansing doing this? Well, I'll tell you, on one condition. You beat me at a drinking competition. Just tell me. Okay, fine. He's trying to save Woodrow's legacy. I mean, he had two beers.

He spilled everything. He respects and loves your husband too much to watch him fuck up the world. Oh, every day I wake up and think, sweet Jesus, that no one gives a shit about my legacy. Oh, my God. Thank you, Marshall. You have no idea how good it was to see you.

Trudy, give me some change. Yeah, I got a ton in tips. Who are you calling? The New York World offices, if I can find them in my address book. Oh, okay, okay. It's New York 30401. Wait, are you about to leak what we just found out about Lansing to a newspaper? Yes.

Are you sure that's okay? Yes, Trudy. I love Woodrow, but he thinks the war is over. It is not. Trudy, this is the war. And if we don't fight dirty, we lose. Hello, operator? Tunnelty. What's so important it couldn't wait until sunrise? Tumulty

What's so important it couldn't wait until sunrise? Mr. President, I apologize But the morning edition came in and Here, just read it Is this a joke, Tumulty? No, sir I don't think newspapers do joke headlines Mr. President Are you okay? Yes, Tumulty Um, no, sir. I don't think newspapers do joke headlines. Hmm.

Mr. President, are you okay? Hmm, yes, Tumble T. I am okay. This is... Excuse me. Who? Who would do this to me? I know, Woodrow. I know. I trusted Lansing, too. I can't believe he'd do this either. No. What he did, it's inexcusable, but that I can deal with. I can wrap him up in some scandal, fire him, humiliate him, whatever. But this is different.

What's different? What are you talking about? The leak. I mean, I don't blame those Jews for writing this. Just ignore that part. This is what I actually want you to see. Who is close enough to me to know all these details, yet cares so little about me they'd embarrass me this way? Embarrass you? Woodrow, this is way more embarrassing to Lansing. No, not really. This makes him look like a bastard, yeah, but it makes me look weak. I just won a war, Edith. I had one chance, just one, to do something truly important, to cement my name in school books, and whoever put this out there, they just killed it, Edith.

I disagree. You just need to- I don't understand. Who? Who would do this to me? I, uh, have you ever looked at someone you love and told them something where afterwards they'd never look at you the same ever again? I slept with your parents. I killed your best friend. I slept with your parents after I killed your best friend. You know, one of those type of secrets, painful but necessary to tell. I... I...

I don't know, Woodrow. I have no idea who would do this to you. Yeah. This was not one of those moments. I couldn't fall asleep that entire night until about 3 a.m. when I finally closed my eyes and then... Oh, Woodrow, what are you doing? I wanted a sip of water, but my hand is shaking and I can't quite lift my glass.

Your hand is shaking? Yeah,'t quite lift my glass. Your hand is shaking? Maybe I just slept on it wrong. Here, let me help you. Thank you. Can you help me to the bathroom? Do you want me to call Dr. Grayson? No, I'm fine. And I'm sorry about losing it

earlier today. Please don't apologize. Too late. I already did. And, by the way, all this, whenever I've ever seemed sick, it's all just an excuse to lock arms with you in the middle of the night. I'm gonna

wait for you right outside the bathroom, okay? Please, don't make a fuss. No doctors tonight. If you're still worried, we can call one tomorrow. Woodrow? Woodrow? Woodrow? I opened the door and, well, it wasn't as bad as everyone says.

I mean, it was scary, but it wasn't as bad as everyone says. It just wasn't. I don't... I don't know what to say. It wasn't. It wasn't. There wasn't that much blood. People exaggerate. But Dr. Grayson showed up with Trudy very quickly. It wasn't... My husband was not. I mean, it wasn't like he was... He had a fall.

Christ, that's a lot of blood. How did he get on the bed? Edith? Edith! Trudy, can she hear me? Edith, are you okay? Please help him. Trudy, escort the First Lady outside, please, and clean her off. I want to stay.

I can't help your husband if you're sitting here like this. Come on, Edith. It's for the best. Woodrow will be okay. He's strong. Strong? This isn't the first time this has happened. Never this bad, but he's... He's had falls before. Does that sound strong, Trudy?

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help. And that's when I saw him. A viper. Walking down the hallway towards me. Oh, Lansing. Edith, your hands are covered in blood. Give them to me. Oh, sir, there. You're okay? You're okay? Yes, ma'am. Yeah.

Madam First Lady, I came as soon as I possibly could. Thank you. He's doing fine. Oh, dear God, what a relief. I was so... It's a lot of fuss about nothing. He's the president, so everybody loses their minds. Right, right. May I say hello? No, I... No, it's... He's taking a little nap. Edith, I'm Secretary of State. I have to go in. Sorry, it's a no. I have a responsibility, a duty... Listen to me. If you go in there, I have a responsibility, a duty... Listen to me. If you go in there, even for a moment, Woodrow will be furious.

Like I am telling you, fire, brimstone, daggers from the eyes, furious. What? Why? Because I tell Woodrow that you were insubordinate. That you disobeyed me. And that's the thing about Woodrow. He's the one person in this whole world who clings to my every word. Really listens. I don't get what's happening here.

It's simple. If you want to keep your job, you'll turn right around and you'll get the fuck out of my house. Right. Well, I imagine this has been a difficult night, so if you need anything, I'm here to serve. Oh, that means the world to me. I've seen how well you've served Woodrow. Fucking idiot. Where are you going?

Into my room, to be by my husband's side. I thought we weren't allowed. Trudy, this is my home. And until Woodrow wakes up, I decide what is and isn't allowed. You're the only one I trust. Do you trust me, no matter what? Yeah, of course I do. Well, get some rest. The sun will be up soon.

The president has work to do in the morning. I was not the first female president. I did what any loving wife would have done in a crisis. I protected my husband from the traitors who tried to undermine him. The vipers who tried to destroy the League of Nations, the treaty, everything we fought for. I was a patriot who helped the country stay together while the president... while the president... took a little nap.

Edith stars Rosamund Pike as Edith Wilson, Esther Povitsky as Trudy Grayson, Thank you. And in Scott Jones as Joseph Tumulty. Adam Conover as Dr. Carrie Grayson. Kevin Brief as Ship Attendant. Mary Holland as Socialite. Ilam Orian as French Ambassador. Eddie Keller as Drunk Man. Created and written by Gonzalo Cordova and Travis Helwig. Directed by Marim Barucha. Executive produced by Rosamund Pike, John Lovett, Sarah Geismar, Alison Falzetta, Rob Herding, David Henning, and Sandra Yee Ling.

Produced by Xinyin He Yu. Co-producer, Michelle Zarate. Original music and composition by Darren Johnson and Ashoka Tiagarajan. Cue code head of music, Darren Johnson. Audio engineering by Ryan Walsh and Ben Milchev. Edited by Neely Oftering. Sound design by Andrew Pomeroy. Mixed by Ryan Walsh and Ben Milchev. Edited by Neely Oftering. Sound design by Andrew Pomeroy.

Mixed by Ryan Sanchez. Casting directors Chelsea Block and Marisol Roncalli at Atomic Honey. Casting director for guest roles Andrea Bunker. Assistant director Kelsey Adams. Script supervisor Sam Beasley. Dialect coach for Rosamund Pike, Carla Meyer. Assistant engineering by Neely Oftering and Beatrice Noronha. Thank you. Production legal, Christina Bulbrook and Lindsay Keel. Production accounting, Pin Chen Liu. Edith is a QCode and Crooked Media production.