Lovett or Leave It - Last Call
Episode Date: November 2, 2024It’s official: Lovett or Leave It is a graveyard smash! This week, Donald Trump has plenty of tricks up his sleeve, and their names are RFK Jr., Mike Johnson and Elon Musk. Kamala Harris braves the ...haunted house that is this final week of horrifying news. Ricki Lake and Lovett are dying to live in the present. Zach Zucker has us all drinking the ghoul-aid, and we wrap up some unfinished business. Speaking of unfinished business, if you can, please fly, crawl or ooze on over to votesaveamerica.com/2024 to volunteer and vamp from now until Election Day.Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email transcripts@crooked.com and include the name of the podcast.
Transcript
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Hello Los Angeles!
We are joined today by a very special guest, the first boot of season 47 of Survivor.
That is Pundit's costume.
Welcome to Love It or Leave It.
We are recording on Halloween, and while my producers said I should spook up the show,
I think me talking on this stage five days out from the election and four months out of therapy is more than enough.
Also, go Dodgers.
Woo!
Tonight on the show, Vice President Harris
grooves to the rhythm of the fright.
Ricky Lake gets the hots for menopausal women
and Zack Zucker puts a smile on my still looks dirty face.
Then we all spin the wheel
and come up with our own ghost protocol.
You stay up here.
But first, let's get into it.
What a week.
With polls closing in roughly 100 hours, that's right.
Kamala Harris has been closing with a hopeful and unifying message meant to convince the
last remaining undecided voters in seven swing states to break her way.
Meanwhile, Trump and his allies are helpfully laying out in vivid detail just how destructive
a second term would be.
That started with Obamacare, with House Speaker Mike Johnson promising to dismantle the Affordable
Care Act on Wednesday.
There's a lot of talk.
I mean, health care reform is going to be a big part of the agenda.
No Obamacare?
No Obamacare.
The ACA is so deeply ingrained. is going to be a big part of the agenda. No Obamacare? No Obamacare.
The ACA is so deeply ingrained.
We need massive reform to make this work.
And we've got a lot of ideas on how to do that.
We've got a lot of ideas, a big list of ideas.
What if instead of coverage for pre-existing conditions,
you could transfer Delta Sky Miles to a health savings
account?
What if instead of lowering the Medicare eligibility to 55,
we raise the Medicare eligibility to whatever age
gets you a shout out from Smuckers.
What if we replace subsidies for entrepreneurs
and the self-employed with, hear me out, nothing?
Kamala Harris highlighted Johnson's comments
in a press conference, which led to Trump issuing
what may be one of the most brazen lies he's ever told,
which is saying something,
claiming it was a lie that he wants to end
the Affordable Care Act,
saying, I never mentioned doing that. I never even thought about such a thing.
Now here is a montage of Trump saying he is going to repeal Obamacare dozens of times.
Oh wait, we're a podcast. And I'm not going to ask somebody to produce that montage
when you all fucking know how he said it a million times.
as somebody who produced that montage, when you all fucking know how he said it a million times.
Pictured in your mind, Donald Trump campaigned
on repeal in 2016.
Trump had such a hard on for repealing
the Affordable Care Act, he did a fake signing ceremony
when repeal passed the House.
Here's a picture.
Trump signed an executive order saying,
it is the policy of my administration
to seek the prompt repeal of the Affordable Care Act.
The Trump administration also asked the Supreme Court to overturn the Affordable Care Act,
and his administration tried to sabotage Obamacare from the inside, including drastically cutting
outreach during enrollment periods.
But it wasn't just the tens of millions of Americans who rely on the protections of the
Affordable Care Act threatened by a second Trump term this week.
Elon Musk acknowledged that electing Donald Trump would tank the economy,
admitting that tariffs, mass deportations, and Elon's pledge to cut $2 trillion from the budget
would cause what he described as temporary hardship, agreeing there might even be a huge
financial panic. Rockets, cars, social media platforms, economies, what can't this guy crash?
He is truly our Da Vinci of dog shit.
He is truly our Da Vinci of dog shit. And as reported by the Washington Post, which we should all still be subscribed to.
According to a report by the Washington Post, corporations are already planning to raise
prices next year on, quote, a range of items, including clothing, footwear, baby products,
auto parts and hardware, promising to pass along the cost of tariffs to American consumers.
People loved paying more for everything when a global pandemic disrupted the supply chain
and they're going to love it even more when it's for no fucking reason.
So we have dismantling the Affordable Care Act.
We have higher costs and economic chaos because of tariffs and mass deportations.
But wait, there's more.
On Monday, Trump supporter and dangerous crank Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that Trump promised
to give him control of the Department of Agriculture and the entirety of the Department of Health
and Human Services.
This echoes what Trump told his supporters at Madison Square Garden.
I'm going to let him go wild on health.
I'm going to let him go wild on the food.
I'm going to let him go wild on health. I'm going to let him go wild on the food. I'm going to let him go wild on medicines.
And don't worry, R.F.K. Jr. has big plans
for food and medicine.
The key that I think that President Trump has promised me
is control of the public health agencies,
which are HHS and its sub-agencies,
CDC, FDA, NIH, and a few others, and then also the USDA.
So there's already reporting that because they don't know that RFK Jr. could be confirmed by
the Senate because he is a crank dilettante, they will make him some kind of a White House czar overseeing those
departments. RFK Jr. personally stoke the anti-vaccine fervor that helped produce an outbreak of measles
in Samoa that killed 83 people, a catastrophe from which he learned nothing. If Trump wins,
this could be as dangerous as any decision Trump makes. Trump transition co-chair Howard Ludnick went on CNN and said he talked to R.F.K.
Jr. for two and a half hours this week and now is convinced vaccines aren't safe.
So I spent two and a half hours this week with Bobby Kennedy Jr.
And what he explained was when he was born, we had three vaccines and autism was one in
10,000.
Now a baby is born with 76 vaccines.
R.F.K.
Jr. is a vaccine skeptic.
He pushes lies about vaccines.
And I don't even think if Republicans...
Why do you think he pushes lies?
I don't know why he pushes them.
You said, I'm not a scientist and you aren't.
So he just wants data.
But scientists say he pushes lies.
He says, if you give me the data, all I want is the data and I'll take on the data and
show that it's not safe.
And then if you pull the product liability, the companies will yank these vaccines right
off off of the market.
So ever wonder why kids are so much smaller than adults?
That's the vaccines.
It's time to admit that RFK Jr. has a secret charisma that we do not understand.
He turns a Trump advisor anti Angie Vax, in one conversation.
Cheryl Hines has been married to this guy for a decade.
Does this man smell incredible?
What's happening?
Anyway, if crashing the economy wasn't enough, if dismantling the healthcare system wasn't
enough, if controlling women's bodies wasn't enough, we can now add mumps, measles, polio,
and whooping cough to the masks.
And these aren't just dangerous and stupid ideas.
These are deeply unpopular ideas
because most parents aren't cranks
and most parents do not want to worry
when their kids go to school
that their kids will be exposed
to dangerous, deadly, preventable illnesses.
And if you are hearing this,
and if you know someone in your life
who is on the fence about voting for Kamala,
make sure they understand just how scary this is.
No vaccines do not cause autism,
and if they did, that's how we're going to get high speed trains.
And by the way, RFK Jr. is not a blip here. It's not a sudden emergence of anti-vax bullshit
in the Trump administration or in the Trump campaign. Trump himself has already promised to get rid of vaccine mandates in the schools.
And he is purposely not saying COVID.
He is purposely saying vaccines writ large, leaving it open to interpretation.
So right now, what is Trump promising?
He's promising some kind of a hell czar who will possibly revoke safe, effective vaccines, a miracle that made the modern world
fucking possible.
One of the greatest achievements in human history gone.
He is saying he's going to get rid of the Department of Education.
He is going to get rid of vaccine mandates as he's going to, and he's going to cut education
funding in half.
These are toxic positions.
The Trump campaign as an organization, if it has one function, its function is to obfuscate
and create enough noise to make the American people unaware of the choice in this election.
The Harris-Walls campaign, their fundamental task is to make those stakes clear.
And because they have bought their own bullshit, their own misreading of early vote, their
fake polls, their lies about election of early vote, their fake polls,
their lies about election thieving.
They are now convinced themselves that they are now free in these last few days to let
the mask slip and tell us what they're going to do.
But there are people right now in your life, there are friends of friends who are not aware
of just how serious this is.
They are imagining a Trump administration like the first Trump administration.
Now that was terrible.
That was awful.
But it was still an administration in which it was staffed by the kind of Republican institutionalists
that prevented Trump's worst excesses.
Those people are gone.
It's RFK juniors all the way down now.
And there are people in your life that don't understand that.
And I genuinely believe that if over the next three to four days when you're hearing this,
enough of us besiege the people we know kindly, warmly, without judgment, to explain why we feel so deeply about this,
why we are scared and we want them to vote with us, if they are not sure, to ask them to trust us,
to believe us when we tell them that we are worried for the future of this country and to stand with us this one time. If we can do that, I think we will win.
But not enough people right now understand how dangerous this.
We talk all the time. We talk all the time. How is it possible?
How is it possible? Why is it so close? Why is it so close?
Because not enough people know there's a lot of reasons for that.
There's a lot of very frustrating, long lasting reasons for that.
But if they know they'd be with us.
That is a reason to be frustrated, but it is a reason to be hopeful.
So if you're hearing this on Saturday, you have this whole weekend to reach out to people,
to make calls, to knock on doors.
You have Monday to reach out to people, to make calls, to knock on doors, to get this
in front of the people in your life.
This is our last chance. I'm only going to do that three more times tonight, okay.
And finally, here in the home stretch, Republican men are also letting the mask slip when it
comes to their thoughts on women and their various opinions.
This follows reports that women are dominating early votes so far with 54% of ballots cast
coming from women compared to 44% from men.
It's like, it's like they always say women do come earlier than men.
Nope.
I don't think something like that.
I don't know.
Not really my culture.
There was also this ad voiced by Julia Roberts that sent conservatives into a tailspin.
Your turn, honey.
In the one place in America where women still have a right to choose,
you can vote any way you want.
And no one will ever know.
And I'd point out this echoes what Liz Cheney said, reminding Republicans that the ballot
is a secret ballot and reports out of Pennsylvania of women sticking Post-it notes in women's
restrooms saying the same.
Meanwhile, in men's restrooms, little drops of piss everywhere.
Not sure which campaign is behind that.
Not sure how organized it is.
Charlie Kirk ranted to Megyn Kelly that this is encouraging women to undermine their husbands,
which he says is the embodiment
of the downfall of the American family.
This wife is wearing the, you'll show it,
they're wearing the American hat.
She's coming in with her sweet husband
who probably works his tail off to make sure
that she can go, you know, and have a nice life
and provide to the family.
And then she lies to him saying,
oh yeah, I'm gonna vote for Trump. And then she lies to him saying,
oh yeah, I'm gonna vote for Trump.
And then she votes for Kamala Harris
as her little secret in the voting booth.
Whoo, yes!
Isn't it interesting that the husband
isn't undermining her?
Hmm, I wonder why that is.
A woman voting against her husband's wishes?
What's next, a woman having her own credit card?
After all, a wife isn't a person.
A wife is a husband expansion pack
whose personal opinions end at color of Stanley Cup. That's something you get to choose. You should be
grateful. They come in all so many colors. And if you want an Ouala, you can switch the
caps to the Target. You don't go to jail. And you should be happy. It's a nice life.
Find out what happened in the world when your husband gets home sipping on your Stanley
Cup in a mauve.
Fox News' Jesse Waters had this to say about conservative women secretly voting for Kamala.
And if I found out Emma was going into the voting booth and pulling the lever for Harris,
that's the same thing as having an affair.
That to me...
He let him finish.
Good one, Jesse, said his ex-wife.
Not one to miss all the fun, Trump at a rally in North Carolina reminded everyone just how
much he cares about women.
And my people told me about four weeks ago, I would say, no, I want to protect the people.
I want to protect the women of our country.
I want to protect the women.
Sir, please don't say that.
Why?
They said, sir, I just think it's inappropriate for you to say, pay these guys a lot of money.
Can you believe it?
And I said, well, I'm going to do it whether the women like it or not.
Yeah, we know, man. several juries came to the same conclusion
And then you have JD Vance on Rogan in this darling exchange
Roe v. Wade always been the law of the land and then all of a sudden that was taken away and
You have these religious men who are trying to dictate what women can and can't do with their bodies.
Yeah. Yeah. No, look, I mean, again, I understand that. I understand the pushback against that,
but I think you can go, like with so many other issues, you can go way too far about
it and it becomes trying to celebrate something that at the very best, if you grant, I think,
every argument of the pro-choice side, it is a neutral
thing, not something to be celebrated.
I think there's very few people that are celebrating that.
Joe Rogan, welcome to the resistance. In that same interview, Vance also made this odd prediction.
I wouldn't be surprised if me and Trump won just the normal gay guy vote because Because again, they just wanted to be left the hell alone.
You may ask yourself, who is the normal gay guy?
Just spit balling, but I think he's referring to gay men
who have stayed current with the Marvel cinematic universe.
Sorry, sorry, producer Chris.
Well, I do want to talk about what that is.
And that is.
That is a rich text, and I'm going to be careful with how I say what I'm about to say, which
is just there are little gay boys who emerge from the closet fully formed, comfortable,
or more comfortable with themselves and their gayness.
But there are many others for whom there are gay guys who have to shed some homophobia
that they have internalized throughout their closeted years.
And it can manifest in a lot of ways, one of which is, oh, I'm a gay guy, but I'm not
like those pride parade gay guys.
I'm just like a normal guy.
That's too much for me.
It's all too much for me.
And maybe that is who you are.
You're not somebody who is flamboyant. You don't ascribe to all these other qualities that are
associated with being gay. But you also have a slight revulsion towards them because of a certain
amount of internalized hatred. Over time, I think a lot of gay people come to learn that that's
something that they were doing. They're coming out as a process that takes not just a conversation,
but decades to fully be comfortable with who you are.
And it is just so interesting to see someone like JD Vance
so capture that idea so clearly.
There's a lie in there.
There's a lie in his eyes.
In fact, everything he does, you're going to be the best boy, aren't you, JD Vance?
You're going to grow up, and you're going to be the best one, and you're going to show
all of them, aren't you?
You're going to go all the way to the FBI.
Anyway, the culmination of all of this was, of course, Trump himself delivering a powerful
closing message of his own in North Carolina.
I'm not Hitler.
Okay.
And it's true.
Hitler could paint.
It was a message Trump also hammered home at a Georgia rally earlier in the week when
he said, I am the opposite of a Nazi.
So that would make him a negative Nazi.
Which would mean Trump times a Nazi is negative
Nazi squared.
But then the square root of Trump times a Nazi is the square root of negative Nazi squared,
which is simply a Nazi times I, which would mean we are now on the complex Nazi plane,
which is, in a sense, where we started.
Was that for anyone?
No? All right.
Also this week, Trump bid it trying to climb into a Trump-branded garbage truck in Wisconsin.
Afterward, Trump sat in the passenger seat of the garbage truck as it drove circles around an empty airport tarmac.
Or as the Trump campaign puts it, trying to get Donald down for a nap.
Later, at the rally in Green Bay, Donald Trump reminisced about getting into the garbage
truck. So look, so the stair, the first stair is like up here.
I'm saying, shit.
So, so I had the adrenaline going and I made it.
We're lucky he's too broken to be self-deprecating more, because that works.
That was, that was, that was endearing. Don't show
anybody that. Just send them the vaccine stuff. Anyway, it sounds like somebody had a really
big day and did they let you honk the horn too? All right. So that's how Trump is finishing
strong and in the other corner we have Kamala Harris, who gave an address at the ellipse
in Washington with more than 75,000 people in attendance. Kamala sure can draw a crowd.
She can draw a clock, too.
Draws all the important stuff.
Harris contrasted herself with Trump from the very spot
where he incited the January 6th attack.
This is someone who is unstable, obsessed with revenge,
consumed with grievance, and out for unchecked power.
Donald Trump has spent a decade trying to keep the American people divided and
afraid of each other. That is who he is, but America, I am here tonight to say that is not who we are.
That is not who we are.
Now let's go storm the Capitol.
All right.
Harris emphasized the darkness of Trump's comments about the enemy from within and offered
an alternative.
Unlike Donald Trump, I don't believe people who disagree with me are the enemy.
He wants to put them in jail.
I'll give them a seat at the table.
You'll be sitting by the speakers and next to Joe Biden, but it's at the table.
You know, sometimes you'll be at a wedding and it's like there's the tent at the wedding
and then they needed a couple more tables so there's another little tent like attached
to the main tent.
And you know, it's office people, it's former colleagues and second cousins in there.
The Harris campaign also launched the first ever political ad on the Las Vegas Sphere,
which will run through election day.
Just what a USC frat bro wants to see at 4am coming out of a strip club on the worst cocaine
come down of his life.
A 400 foot prosecutor. Kamala also added to her support a few Republican leaders
with a shred of dignity and patriotism left in their bodies,
including former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I believe we actually have a clip
of her securing that endorsement.
Son of a bitch.
By the way, I didn't know until seeing that clip that that's where the meme comes from.
So cool.
Schwarzenegger explained that while he still considers himself a Republican, he must do
what the sphere commands.
Wrote Schwarzenegger on Twitter, I will always be an American before I am a Republican.
That is why this week I am voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.
I'm sharing it with all of you because I think there are a lot of you who feel like I do.
You don't recognize our country and you are right to be furious.
Added Arnold, I also believe in a woman's right to hasta la vista their baby.
Sorry.
Sorry.
We're doing the best we can here.
Joe Biden is also helping.
He decided to enter the fray with this comment on Puerto Rico.
They're good, decent, honorable people.
The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters.
His demonization is seen as unconscionable.
And it's un-American.
Still got it.
As Republicans pretended to be outraged by this, Vice President Harris addressed the
comment to the press on Wednesday.
I strongly disagree with any criticism of people based on who they vote for.
Then Kamala walked into the Oval Office with a special ice cream cone just for Joe Biden,
laced with enough Benadryl to keep him down till Wednesday.
So one Benadryl. As Kamala attempts to inspire people to vote
while relying on millions of volunteers to talk to their friends and neighbors,
the Trump campaign has outsourced its field operation to Elon Musk.
And wouldn't you know it, news broke this week that paid canvassers and door knockers
who were hired by a subcontractor for Elon Musk's America Pack were driven around Michigan in the back of a seatless U-Haul and told
their motel rooms wouldn't be paid for if they didn't meet unrealistic canvassing quotas.
Said an America Pack spokesperson, these canvassers were treated the way Elon Musk would treat
his own children.
In a good way, I mean.
The ones he likes.
Let me start over.
One canvasser said they had no idea they were signing up to knock doors in support of Trump
when they signed up until after signing an NDA.
Oh, I thought we were just going to get murdered.
Fuck that.
I'm not doing this.
And these are really the best messengers in the final days of an election, people who
have been hoodwinked and jolted around the back of a U-Haul and are only there for the
money. These are the people who have been hoodwinked and jolted around the back of a U-Haul and are only there for the money.
These are the people who voters want to hear from.
Listen, the second I saw this, that Elon Musk was putting together a slapdash last minute
field organization with paid canvassers, I was like, fucking great, great.
Finding out when you're handed the fucking clipboard that you're canvassing for Donald
Trump, you think it's going to be a persuasive conversation people are going to have at the doors
compared to a fucking middle-aged wine mom from Ohio who drove all the way to Michigan
to knock on doors because she hasn't been able to unclench her fucking asshole since 2016.
Speaking of people who have had a rough ride, three NASA astronauts and one Russian cosmonaut
finally returned to Earth from the International Space Station two months after their scheduled
departure.
The two astronauts are now safely back at Cape Cranavaral while the cosmonaut was returned
to the Ukrainian front.
Timothy Chalamet made a surprise appearance at this week's Timothy Chalamet Look-A-Like
contest in Washington Square Park in the Village.
I was also there.
You probably didn't realize it, because I fit in so well.
Police eventually shut down the event,
leading one Timothy away in cuffs
after the sheer volume of Chalamets turned the contest
into, as one organizer put it, pandemonium.
We'll all remember where we were when we first heard
about the Tims erection.
Police said they would have been able
to get the mayhem under control sooner,
but the handcuffs kept slipping off their wrists.
They're men, but they're so beautiful,
said one arresting police officer, but they're men.
I gotta go, I gotta go home and fuck my wife.
On the Tonight Show, Olivia Rodrigo reminisced about knowing Chappell-Rohn way back when.
I love her.
I used to go visit her when she worked at a donut shop before she got signed, before
she put out any of her music.
I used to go and eat donuts with her and hang out.
I'm so happy for her.
Chappell-Rohn issued this response.
That's nice of you to say, Olivia.
Nice of you to say it, but it's a long time ago.
You might not have heard of Olivia.
I don't work at that donut shop anymore.
It's been a long time.
They moved me to a bigger stage at Lollapalooza.
I know you're just breaking my balls,
but that's a long time ago.
And finally, a leading cheese retailer in London
announced last week that someone had stolen 950 wheels
of artisanal cheddars, more than 24 tons of cheese,
worth more than $389,000.
The suspect remains at large, I'm sorry,
the suspect remains dead next to a toilet.
Up next, Vice President Harris is in for a trick entry.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back. or love it or leave it, coming up. ["I Can't Stop the Feeling"]
And we're back!
I was shocked my next guest could make it tonight,
but as her email said,
if I can be in Wisconsin, North Carolina, and pure hell
on one day I can be in Los Angeles.
Then she wrote out exactly how she laughs
and it made perfect phonetic sense.
Hope she wins.
Please welcome to the stage, it's Vice President Kamala Harris.
Wow.
Hi.
Wow.
Hi Kamala, Madam Vice President.
Did you hear my party back there?
Yeah.
I'm too bootylicious for the tables.
Hi.
Honey, go up there. Yeah, there you go.
Oh.
Photo up.
So, the-
What?
How are you holding up?
Oh, you know, I don't sleep.
So, you know, we're really getting into the vampire spirit.
Yeah.
Madam Vice President, it's been impossible to keep up
with the avalanche of scream inducing moments
from this week in the news.
Every time I open what was once known as Twitter,
but is now called X, it's like opening up the barbecue pit
in Texas chainsaw massacre.
I'm scared and yet my mouth waters for more.
Which is why we're going to have you rank
the following terrifying moments of the week
in a segment we're calling, come along.
We're going to have you rank the following terrifying moments of the week in a segment. We're calling
What is this graphic oh my god, I think it's you and I that's not me that's
Suppose that's Allison, but that's a and me and a comedian and then Donald Trump and Joe Biden eating a baby.
Joe Biden eating a baby.
That's crazy.
So you have to rank the following moments on a scale from one to five, hmm, goblins.
Ooh.
I've decided.
Okay, so one to five Mitch McConnells.
Yeah, one to five McConnells.
And we're choosing McConnell because McConnell
is one of the only living people to have
spent so much time in the space between life and death
when he freezes.
It's just him and Jimmy Carter.
Uh.
There's nothing, there's literally nothing sad about the fact that Jimmy Carter will
die.
Nothing.
He is a hundred years old.
He lived an amazing life.
He's going out the way he wanted to.
In Georgia.
In Georgia.
He voted for Kamala.
He voted for you.
Yeah.
All right.
Mike Johnson said Trump is going to get rid of Obamacare.
On Monday, House Speaker Mike Johnson said
Trump would enact massive reforms to health coverage,
including his exact words, no more Obamacare.
Though it was funny.
The way he says it, it was very Veep-esque
because he was like, no more Obamacare, no more Obamacare.
Like it was confusing.
But what isn't confusing is that he's terrible.
Like, it was confusing. But what isn't confusing is that he's terrible.
Uh...
Uh, so how many...
From one to five, how many goblins?
How many Mitch Mc- how many McConnells?
How many Mitch McConnells for them saying they're gonna get rid of Obamacare?
I mean, I'm gonna say four.
Okay.
Just because I know I'm gonna need some room for later.
Right?
Thank you. I think, yeah, I think this is about a four on the Mitch McConnell goblin scale.
Because yeah, he can say all that.
He does have a position of power, but hopefully there are other things in check.
Yeah, one would hope.
To check his ass.
Hope we win the fucking house.
I'm much more scared about the fact that Donald Trump said that he and Mike Johnson have a little secret.
Don't we, Mikey?
What, did they kiss? What is the secret?
I wish. Well, they didn't elaborate, but it could mean anything.
They went, and it was, ugh.
Yeah, that's right. That's right. It wasn't the sexy kiss we had hoped for.
No. Not wet at all.
But if the secret is that Mike Johnson would in some way try to fuck with the certification of the election...
Mike Johnson fucking anything is terrifying.
Yeah. No, uh...
What's that app called? Private Eyes? What's it called?
Covenant Eyes?
Covenant Eyes?
The fuck apps are y'all into?
What is that?
Well, it's what he's into.
It's his app to make sure he doesn't do anything
tawdry on his phone.
And so his son doesn't do anything tawdry on his son's phone.
And so they keep an eye on each other
and make sure there's no illicit web browsing.
What? That they have an app on their phone.
Mike Johnson and his son.
Yeah, no, I don't like that.
I think, hey, I'm Kamala Harris.
I think that's bad and weird.
Yeah.
The point being, we don't want Mike Johnson to be able to get rid of O'Hallucanary.
And we don't want Mike Johnson in charge of certifying the vote.
And the House, if we win the House, that is certified on January 3rd, a few days before
the certification of the Electoral College.
So if you are in the Los Angeles area and you're not going to a swing state, there are
swing districts within driving distance.
There are swing districts in driving distance of New York.
That is where the House will be won and lost.
I would like to have Hakeem Jeffries holding that gavel. Next, on Wednesday, after his Puerto Rico faux pas set off a whirlwind conservative news
cycle, President Biden hosted families for the White House Halloween party and, well,
he bit some babies.
Okay.
Now, for people to say no, that's a baby dressed as a chicken.
So it's kind of cute.
Why is his jaw unhinged?
This is crazy.
I have been busy.
I haven't seen this.
You know what's interesting about this?
You know what's interesting about this?
When I went to Joe Biden playfully bit a baby, I pictured like, you know, like a, like that
kind of like, you like kind of gum.
No, the veneers, they too big.
No, he just, it's fucking.
Have you seen his veneer?
They got to call it something No, the veneers, they too big.
No, he just, it's fucking.
Have you seen his veneer?
They gotta call it something else.
His veneers are so big.
Yeah.
Biting babies.
What the hell?
Um.
Yeah.
One to five McConnells.
Oh, God.
I don't find this particularly scary.
This isn't scary.
It is.
It's just old man stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll give it a three McConnell.
But also, nevermind.
You think two?
The audience is mad at you for three.
You're mad at me for three?
You think one?
Fine, whatever that bitch said is one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Excuse me, I'm sorry. This motherfucker. Are you dressed like Elton John? Nice.
Oh yeah, what are people wearing? Oh my God, you're here on Halloween. People are in costumes
that even interrogate that. Everyone's cute. I walk to the front of the, this is, this
is how you know, by the way, listen, I've never been diagnosed with really anything, but let's just say I'm vaccinated.
And the,
because I can walk to the front of the stage,
have a whole conversation with all of you,
never even occurs to me to notice that you're in a full,
what are you, are you a course?
You're a unicorn.
There was a full unicorn sitting in the front row.
And I walked to the front of the stage to do crowd work
and I'm like, how is everybody doing?
Wow.
Next up, JD Vance told us telling Joe Rogan
that Emily in Paris is a masterpiece.
Uh-uh.
We're back at our house in Cincinnati
the weekend after the RNC convention and we're
sitting there watching like some stupid show, Emily in Paris on Netflix or something, which
sorry, I don't mean to call it a stupid show, I actually think Emily in Paris is a masterpiece
but set up inside bracket that one for now.
He's one of them normal gay guys, huh?
Hey, you know, maybe he's born with it.
Maybe it's Magalene.
God.
I haven't seen Emily in Paris.
Whoa.
And that's completely fine.
Sure.
But don't, didn't you, here's what I actually think the next sentence of that
is for him, which is like, it captures the futility.
It's because he's judging,
in some way there's a judgment of Emily in Paris.
He's not, he doesn't think Emily in Paris is a masterpiece
because he loves Emily in Paris.
He thinks Emily in Paris is a masterpiece
because of some kind of conservative judgment
on Emily in Paris.
And because I haven't seen it, I don't know what it is, but you can tell me.
Oh, it's probably that, you know, she's in a European country and there she's fine to
have sex and not be judged about it.
And he's like scared.
He's like, where's my app about not fucking people?
Keeps me in check.
Keep me from fucking people.
Emily don't have it.
Yeah. Next up, have it. Yeah.
Next up, Donald Trump said this. Wait, oh did we rank it?
No, we need to rank it. One to five McConnells.
Oh dude, that one is three. That one's three McConnells.
But it's like a laughing McConnell. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's three McConnells but with a little smirk.
Yeah. No, no. I mean like, like, jowl mood, like laughing. Ooh, I'm scared.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
Stop doing that.
John, I'm going to go.
I can't handle that.
OK. I can't handle that. Okay. Next up, Donald Trump said about women in his rallies that he is going to protect women, whether the women like it or not.
We played that earlier.
That's fucking sick.
That's gross.
I'm going to give that a five.
Yeah, I think that is a five. That's fucking sick. That's gross. I'm gonna give that a five. That's expected to the max. Yeah, I think that is a five.
That's nasty.
And finally, we have this photo of Donald Trump.
Donald Trump took a joyride
in a Trump garbage truck at Wisconsin,
but this is a real photo.
Uh-oh.
That boom mic is suspiciously placed.
I don't like the boom mic in the picture.
I don't like any of this picture.
What the fuck is happening in this picture?
What this is happening is either this
is a photo of the next president of the United States
or an inspo image for the worst sex doll ever created.
I can't believe I'm saying this.
I hope it's the latter.
Oh my God.
Maybe he's born with it.
Jesus.
Nobody tells that man that the makeup's that bad.
All those people around him, nobody says one fucking word about it, huh?
He's gotta's that bad. All those people around him, nobody says one fucking word about it, huh?
He's gotta smell so bad.
(*audience laughs*)
God damn it.
It is just...
I don't like what he's doing with his hand.
Everything about this is like...
Ugh.
This man, this thing, this is the source of so much anxiety and fear and anger.
This fucking clown, this joke of a man.
That's offensive to clowns.
You're right.
You're right.
There are clowns here tonight and they don't like that.
You're right.
Honestly, that was my bias.
That was my bigotry showing.
Yeah.
It's something for me to think about, to learn and grow.
Yeah, we can all take a minute and really
learn from John being prejudiced against clowns.
Now, well, what are we going to give this?
How many McConnells?
I mean, this is sort of, I don't even find this particularly.
I think this is.
This is so yucky.
But it's not-
Scary.
I have to remind myself,
it's not gonna come out the screen and get me, right?
No.
So I'm gonna give it a four, McConnell's,
but it's a McConnell that is frozen, okay?
It's a McConnell that somebody has to be like,
sir, we gotta, we gotta move,
you have to move or do something.
It's one of those, four of those.
I'm grossed out, I can't look at that anymore.
Also, just to make a serious point about all this
is that Trump is wearing a fucking costume,
not because it's Halloween,
but because he is trying to ride around a garbage truck
to draw attention to Joe Biden's comments,
which is a response to the comments about Puerto Ricans
that is costing Donald Trump votes.
So Donald Trump put on this getup in effect to draw out a damaging storyline that is right
now hurting his campaign.
And I don't mind that.
My Halloween wish is that Donald Trump somehow his soul gets sucked into like one of the Fisher Price guys,
but in that costume.
You know those little Fisher Price guys and they're all like, hey, I hope that's the next
thing he tries to be like, I work, look, I'm a Fisher Price guy.
Now he's frozen like that doll.
Yeah.
It's interesting to think of what is the karmic justice for Donald Trump to wake up as.
There's a lot of people he could wake up.
Any final thoughts, Vice President Harris?
This is our last time we're seeing you before election day.
Oh my God, how nerve wracking.
I'm not nervous.
Okay.
We're going to be fine as long as you guys get out there, OK, and do it.
Don't clap, vote Obama.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Vice President Kamala Harris, everybody.
Thank you so much.
We'll be right back with Ricky Lake.
Woo!
Woo!
And we're back.
Woo!
Please welcome to the stage the Tracy Turnblad to my corny
Collins is the one and only Ricky Lake!
Hi! Hi! So good to see you! Great to be here! Hi everyone, happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween! Wait, I'm changing... What? I'm changing hats.
I'm an undecided...
For my costume, I'm an undecided voter.
Do you know what I am?
What are you?
Can't you tell?
I'm a middle-aged hot burner.
Wow.
Which is what I am.
Scary.
Thank you so much for being here.
I'm a big fan.
Ricky, you have a new podcast,
The High Life with Ricky Lake,
about, and I quote,
Ricky's blissed out world of joy and pleasure
as she enters the best phase of life, midlife.
What's your secret?
Because my midlife is mostly insomnia and heartburn
and whatever the fuck is happening.
Okay, you wanna know this?
Do you really care about the secret to my happiness?
Yeah.
My husband who's out here, my new husband,
I have to say, those of you who follow my career,
how many of you grew up with me?
I grew up with you.
Yeah.
I grew up with you.
Yeah.
So anyway, I've been through a lot and I think now is like
the sweet time of my life.
And yeah.
Now, one thing you talk about the podcast is menopause.
Yes, we actually haven't done the episode yet, but we will because I'm in perimenopause,
so it's a topic that's of mind.
And I wanted to ask you because Michelle Obama
gave this incredible speech about the election,
and in it she talked about women's health,
and she said this.
Sadly, we as women and girls have not been socialized
to talk openly about our reproductive health.
We've been taught instead to feel shame and to hide how our bodies work.
Some young girls enter puberty not knowing what to expect.
Too many of us suffer with severe cramps and nausea for days on end every single month. And then on the other end of the reproductive timeline, too many women my age have no idea
what's going on with our bodies as we battle through menopause and debilitating hot flashes
and depression.
See, fellas, most of us women, we suck up our pain, and we deal with it alone.
We don't share our experiences with anyone, not with our partners, our friends, or even
our doctors.
Look, a woman's body is complicated business, y'all.
It's beautiful speech.
Yeah, absolutely. Is that true? A woman's body is complicated business, y'all. It's beautiful speech.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Um.
Is that true?
Yeah.
I mean, I know a little bit of something.
I made some documentaries about women's reproductive health.
I made one called The Business of Birth Control,
one called The Business of Being Born.
And yeah, yeah, there's a lot we don't know about our options, about informed consent, and yeah.
And you're gonna be covering Menopause on the show.
Definitely, yes.
Will you tune in?
Sure, I will.
I mean, I'd like to learn more about it.
Switching gears a little, what's John Waters like?
And I feel like there's something so there's something so interesting about
You working with John Waters who is someone who I think
kind of
heightens American culture to show you something about American culture and
You end up making a talk show that is exactly the kind of heightened American culture that he would satirize. Yes
So I so there's some connection there to me.
I mean, he was so shocked when I actually got that job
and then became really successful at it.
He's like, he discovered me.
And yeah, it's just the funniest thing.
It's like this fat girl wins the guy,
wins the dance contest, and then becomes the next Oprah.
Yeah, I think he was really proud.
And he used to come on my show as a guest
and it was just like the most surreal thing.
It's like he, you know, art imitating life,
life imitating art.
He's, you know, I think he's tickled by the fact
that I've had this career that went beyond
being Tracy Turrblad.
You were also in Serial Mom.
Yes.
Which I loved, love Serial Mom.
And I've been thinking about Serial Mom lately because there is a connection between Kathleen
Turner, who's been on this show, her character in Serial Mom, and Trump.
That there's a connection for me.
At the end of that movie, spoiler alert for serial mom, this woman who gets away with it is suddenly standing there
with her family.
And her family is like, they're not really
going to let her go home.
You're absolutely right.
Yeah, we sat with her in court because she's our mom.
And we pretended we were supportive of her
because she's our mom.
But she's crazy and she's a murderer.
We all know that. You're actually going to let her leave? You're not going to hold her accountable at all? and we pretended we were supportive of her because she's our mom. But she's crazy and she's a murderer.
We all know that.
You're actually going to let her leave?
You're not going to hold her accountable at all?
I guess we'll just smile.
Let's hope that's not the ending next week.
Please, God.
I hope not.
Please, God.
I hope not.
I never actually made the connection.
I made that movie when I was 24 years old.
But now I see it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
John Waters really is ahead of his time.
You're welcome. John Waters really is ahead of his time.
We are in the middle of something of a reevaluation of the 90s.
And I always think that like, I grew up in the 90s.
I watched television in the 90s.
I watched movies in the 90s.
And so much of the, there was so much commentary in the 90s about how far we'd come.
And it's like, look at how equal men and women are.
James Bond punches a woman in the latest film.
And then you look back into the way women in public life were savaged.
And you were one of those people.
You were ripped to pieces.
I was by Lieberman and Bob Bennett, Bill Bennett, Bob Bennett, they were running for office
and they said that my show was responsible for the demise of young Bennett, Bill Bennett, Bob Bennett, they were running for office
and they said that my show was responsible
for the demise of young people.
You know, we weren't, we were simply reflecting
what was out there and we gave the marginalized a voice
and treated every, I treated everyone with respect
and treated everyone the way I wanted to be treated.
But yeah, you're right.
I think we were villainized.
You know, the first season I was nominated for an Emmy
and after that, when they attacked us, we never were nominated again.
And you were attacked pretty personally for your appearance, for how you look.
Yeah, I mean, yes, I was. But I think, you know, John Waters instilled in me that I was,
you know, beautiful and special and talented. And I feel like, you know, that that character,
the underdog, the consummate underdog is someone that you root for.
And so I think, yeah, I was able to overlook most of that.
Were you really?
I think so, yeah.
That's cool.
Yeah.
How do you do that?
You don't let one comment on the internet sit with you for weeks
and the people would know it was that one?
Like, you can overlook 20 of them,
but then one will get you, but that person would never
know they got you?
I think in the past it has.
But now that I'm like, when you turn 50,
the cliche is that
you don't really, it's not, it's nobody's business.
It's not my business what other people think of me.
And so yeah, I don't think I let it get to me now, but people have nice things to say.
I mean, for the most part, people know that I'm the real deal.
I'm, I am what you see is what you get.
And, and I love that I've broken the mold in some ways, you know, with Tracy Turner
and Vlad being this role model and this underdog that wins, it's
been a great introduction in my career.
Hm.
You don't believe me, do you?
Well, no, no, I don't.
I'm just thinking about it.
I'm thinking about it.
Because I think part of what's happening
is I think people are looking back.
There was a conversation that Oprah had
about a terrible TV Guide cover.
TV Guide was just a magazine for telling you
what time shows were on.
And the cover just was vicious.
It was just like an absolute, just the way
that when your show was on, it was just,
you would just mock women on the covers of magazines.
And I'm glad you're on the other side of it,
but it has to have an effect on you.
I mean, maybe it did, but I feel like it's way worse now.
Like the idea of doing a talk show in this climate
where everyone has the opportunity
to give you this reaction right in the immediate time.
Yeah, I couldn't do it today.
I feel like in the 90s, there was something about it being
like go-to television.
It was a thing to watch, every water cooler moment,
every time the next day.
I don't know, I just feel like I was in a lot of ways
like America's sweetheart and I didn't feel backlash.
And now, like I, you know, I switched gears.
Like I went from being an actor to being a talk show host
to making documentaries about things that matter to me,
that hopefully matter to other people.
And I feel like I've been widely accepted.
So I have not been bashed in ways that have damaged me,
as far as I can remember.
That's so cool.
I know.
I'm lucky.
Now that I'm 40, which is gay 50, which is LA gay 90,
I want to get your advice on a few midlife crises, OK?
OK.
What are we doing about fiber?
I'm on the gummies.
And the gummies.
Fiber gummies.
OK.
And the melatonin gummies and the weed gummies.
It's a lot of gummies.
I love gummies.
You know I have a cannabis brand, Ricky Lakenbake.
Oh, wow. Pretty good. They like that. a cannabis brand, Ricky Lake and Bake. Oh, wow.
Pretty good.
They like that.
They like that.
It'll be available very soon in stores.
Do you think that's too many gummies for me?
How many gummies is too many gummies?
Oh, the fiber gummies and the melatonin gummies
and the weed gummies and the vitamin gummies.
I'm not a doctor.
I never claim to be an expert.
But go with your gut.
How's your gut feeling?
Not great.
Not great at all.
Hey, Ricky, how do we go to sleep?
How do we go to sleep?
How do you go to sleep?
A gummy, a gummy or two.
And I have an eight sleep.
I have that bed that cools your bed.
You know, I'm talking about eight sleep.
Your bed cools you? Yes.
Oh, wow.
What else do I do?
I mean, I watch a lot of TV, fall asleep to the TV.
That's good.
I mean.
What about the intrusive thoughts?
I do have intrusive, I'm super nervous.
I mean, I'm nervous talking to you,
but I'm nervous about what's gonna happen next week.
So it's definitely top of mind to,
as the annex comes in handy every now and then,
not too much because you don't wanna be addicted to it, moderationanax comes in handy every now and then.
Not too much because you don't want to be addicted to it.
Moderation.
What do you do about the fact that when you're happy,
your intrusive thoughts are about how everything good's
going to go away, but when you're sad,
all your intrusive thoughts are about how you'll never be happy?
I mean, yeah, I think it's a thing.
But I focus on being in the moment right now.
It's a joyous moment. I'm getting to sit with you. This is on being in the moment right now. It's a joyous moment.
I'm getting to sit with you.
This is so fun.
Post-Survivor.
It's so exhausting.
Can I ask you something?
And I am indeed post-Survivor.
Maybe pre-Survivor.
How is your fiber intake?
Oh, you're only there for one day.
I know.
No.
No, Ricky Lake.
No, Ricky Lake.
I miss three dinners.
Hey, people say this all the time, to be in the moment. Lake. I miss three dinners.
Hey, people say this all the time, to be in the moment.
I don't know what that means.
What does it mean to be in the moment?
I don't know if I've ever done it.
Really?
Do you think I'm here right now?
You always were thinking ahead, or you're thinking of the past?
What is it?
I think both.
I think I'm switching back and forth.
Yeah.
I'm going to try to be present with you right now.
OK.
OK.
Is this a lot of concentration?
How do you know if you're being in the moment?
I feel so present right now.
I feel like I'm right here with you.
Oh, that's so cool.
Because here's the thing, if you think to yourself,
am I in the moment, aren't you no longer?
So how do you know if you can't measure it?
Because right now I think, well, I'm in the moment now,
we're having this conversation,
but then I'm thinking, is this good?
I can't answer if it's good. Is it good?
Okay, all right.
Hey, you were a talk show host for a long time.
Very famous, successful one.
I was.
Am I good at this?
Yeah.
I'm a fan.
I'm a long time listener.
Are you really?
I am.
That means a lot.
I am. Truth means a lot.
I am.
Truthfully.
What can we expect to hear on the podcast?
It's all about people that have figured out their own way to crack the code to finding
joy in their lives.
So I'm a perfect example.
I'm 56 years old and I feel like I am very much living in the moment and appreciating
just all that has, as life has given me. You know, so it's really interesting talks about biohacking and longevity and wellness
and then kids and you know, anything that pertains that interests me and hopefully interests
my audience.
I definitely butchered that.
No, it was good.
I should have had a better way of telling you what the podcast is about.
I'm really into skincare lately.
I mean, I'm doing a lot, my routine is getting pretty baroque.
It is?
There's a lot of stuff to it.
And it's different depending on the night.
There's some things that are every other night,
and there's some things that are once a week.
The schedule gets pretty complicated.
I actually was thinking today, I may
need to print out a little calendar to put up on my mirror
so I don't get the days wrong.
Do you think this is anxiety?
That's definitely not living in the moment.
Something soothing about it. I like the ones where, I like their products wrong. Do you think this is anxiety? That's definitely not living in the moment.
Something soothing about it. I like the ones where I like their products where it's multiple steps. You step one, you wait two minutes. You're a rule follower,
aren't you? I like the rules. I like to break the rules.
Ricky Lake everybody. That was very fun. Listen'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. And we're back! Listen, we're anxious, we're hopeful, we're tired, we've got more work to do.
Here to help put a smile on all of our faces, it's the Bad Bye Boy Clown, the Bad Bye Boy
Clown, Bad Bye Boy Clown, comedian, actual client, Zach Zucker everybody, come on in.
Come on, babe.
My love, good to see you.
Come on. From me? Wow. on, babe. My love, good to see you.
Oh my god.
For me?
Wow.
Hey everyone, wow, Hollywood!
Whoa!
Hi, good to see you.
As if we weren't hanging out before this.
Let's just say John's my booty call.
Yeah, just like we're back in the living room, three of us, and whoever else we invite.
It's crazy.
This is the poly cool.
You're looking at it.
I love the poly cool.
My buddy Polly said he's cool with me having sex with his wife.
Yeah, that's what you're going to be getting tonight, guys.
That's my vibe.
Everybody laughs.
Yeah.
You should have really given him a sound effect there.
I'm just saying that was a perfect place for a ghost noise.
That was obvious.
I mean, come on.
Oh!
Hmm.
Was that the gay one?
What's the gay one? Yeah, yeah. What's the straight one? It's like, I go bowling when it's not my friend's birthday.
It's the gay one, one more time.
Were you recording us last night?
Oh, it says sleigh. The gay ghost says sleigh at the end.
Sleeigh. Zach, ghost says sleigh at the end.
Sleeigh.
Zach, here's how this segment works.
I'm going to share my accidental dread with you in the audience, and all you have to do
is cheer us up.
God, you're so handsome when you talk into a mic.
God, it works every time.
I mean, it's already working.
I'm going to puddle with this one.
All right.
Should we tell them?
I mean, it's up to you. If you want to tell them, we can tell them.
Look, to me, as two Jewish boys on a Jewish holiday, October 31st, it feels like an awesome
time to tell everybody.
If you want to tell everybody, we can tell everybody.
We have been casually having sex.
I was, Kat, maybe casual for you.
For me it is very formal.
It is black tie optional.
Can we talk for a second?
Sure sure.
You don't have to.
Okay.
Yeah let out.
I love to see those lips.
Yeah.
Hey I just want you to feel supported right now. I see you.
I can't look at him.
I see.
No, no, no.
Look at me, baby.
Bebe.
Bebe, look at me.
Yeah.
Bebe.
I'm really happy to be here with you, and I love that we get to cross our personal and
professional relationships together.
Yeah, I mean, no, I really like that about it, too.
Nice. Yeah, I mean, no, I really like that about about it too nice And I'm really glad that we had this opportunity tonight to um
Not talk before we came out about whether or not we would talk about it here other sentences. Oh, sorry wrong one. Yeah
And we're back, okay
Time for a segment we're calling turn Turn That Frown Upside Clown.
I also just want to be clear, I love this show so much.
I love to come on here.
I love to spend time with my BB.
But I was asked to come in.
Is that French?
Yeah.
Oui.
And art together.
But I was asked to come out here in full clown regalia.
And as a professional clown, that's culturally incensed.
You asked me to go full Zac Face in front of this crowd
right here.
And I knew you weren't going to like that joke,
but I was going to do it no matter what.
First of all, thank you for telling me.
And thank you for feeling like you could be honest
about how you felt.
And I'm glad you told us and we learned from it.
And we'll try to do better.
That's all I can do.
I can't go back.
I can see a couple's therapist right here.
It's like, I can imagine it right there.
All right.
So I am going to share depressing facts.
Awesome.
That are on our minds and you're going to cheer us up.
Sure.
Sources in the Trump campaign say if president again Donald Trump may try to stop state and
local police departments from receiving Justice Department grants if they refuse to comply
with his commands to be part of a mass deportation of hundreds of thousands of undocumented people.
Okay, so where's the scary part?
It's like you forgot who I've been every moment up until I said that right there.
A loving devoted partner. They're on edge. It's like you forgot who I've been every moment up until I said that right there.
A loving devoted partner.
They're on edge.
I actually wasn't listening because I only was ready to say that at the end of it.
It was not worth it.
A French character.
But in a way, I've kind of distracted us from it, so I'm doing my job.
Stop, stop, stop. I'll sign photos later. Trump is already accusing states of voter fraud. Writing on True Social Wednesday, Pennsylvania is cheating and getting caught at large-scale
levels rarely seen before.
Report cheating to authorities.
Law enforcement must act.
This is, of course, false.
Law enforcement has also caught the acting bug.
Right.
Yeah, wow.
I mean, look, it doesn't matter how many times I try to vaccinate myself, I cannot stop doing
these self-tapes.
Not an industry crowd.
Okay, so.
Now, I'm going to go ahead and start with the first one.
Okay.
So, I'm going to start with the first one.
I'm going to start with the first one.
I'm going to start with the first one.
I'm going to start with the first one.
I'm going to start with the first one. I'm going to start with the first one. I'm going to start with the first one. I'm going to start with the first one. I'm, look, no matter how many times I try to vaccinate myself, I cannot stop doing these self-tapes.
Not an industry crowd.
Okay, so, uh...
Man, those exit signs got real big right there for me.
Uh...
No, and you know what? You know what?
Yeah, fuck them. Let them do... Yeah, let them do it.
Or not. Or not.
Seems like kind of an or-not crowd.
I just love...
I don't care what it is that you're saying,
I love to hear you talk.
It's definitely cheering me up.
Yeah.
I'm not sure how much is working for them.
I like that you-
I've got to cheer, sorry.
I'm cheering myself up.
Also, you don't mind, I can smoke in here, right?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, cool.
Okay, you did not find that funny either, okay.
Can I talk to you for a sec?
Yeah.
I feel like I'm losing the crowd.
No, no, no, no, no, it's a hard time,
everyone's a little bit tired, everyone's on edge,
they don't really trust or know you.
I know.
And I think that's making them nervous.
And I'm honestly shocked it's gone this well this far.
I would be willing to bet no one has seen me perform
ever in this crowd and probably won't.
No, I think...
You scary gay aw. Aw, sleigh.
I guess not.
No, no, I think it's going really good. I think they're just not kind of on edge, you know?
And it's hard when they're on edge like this. I remember I noticed like after 2016 when Hillary Clinton lost, remember?
Lost what?
The presidential election.
Okay.
Oh, and I love her.
For the first?
Her husband got a blowjob in the White House and she didn't even care.
When I get a blowjob at work, John's like, don't do that.
Croney John McEntee, a senior advisor for Project 2025, posted this video to X.
So I guess they misunderstood.
When we said we wanted male only voting, we meant male M-A-L-E.
Okay cheddar cheese fries.
Those fries look good.
They do, but also I'm like melt the cheese, King.
You know what I mean?
That's a man who just, he like put the rest of it
in the microwave and I see the chili is warm,
but then the cheese is cold.
Rootle me that, Democrats.
Hmm.
Hmm.
So, uh.
Would you put your mail in your ballot?
You could stuff my ballot box,
if you know what I'm talking about.
Um, I mean, yeah.
I've, you know what I'm talking about. I mean, yeah. I've...
You know.
If you're...
Am I...
What?
Oh, my God. Your hair's in there.
Yeah, I think we solved that last one. If you're in line, stay in line.
Alright, ayy.
Sleigh in line.
There you go.
Right there.
It's right there.
And you hated it.
Okay.
They're getting to know you.
I know.
Look.
They're getting to know you.
It's true. I'm new to the city. I'm 17 this look. They're getting to know you.
It's true, I'm new to the city, I'm 17 years old.
I'm so a European 16.
I'm happy to be here.
I can't see anyone here,
but in my mind you're all loving it.
That's when you're supposed to give me
the affirmation I'm looking for, you know?
Quit it, quit it.
My husband's here.
Shut up.
Yeah, come on out baby.
Next up, astronaut Buzz Aldrin endorsed Donald Trump.
A guy that loves coming in second.
Ew.
Cause he's on the moon second.
Come on, there we go.
You know I met Buzz Aldrin once.
Did you?
I did.
I met all the astronauts.
But no, I did.
That sounded like a lie.
I definitely met Michael Collins.
The guy who sings the music?
No, he's the.
Cheeseburger. Yeah yeah and then I met his brother Michael Collins who was in the who was in the orbit he never
landed and I met Buzz Aldrin I can't I believe I also met Neil Armstrong at that
same event. He had the bracelets and he raced in the steroids guy Neil Armstrong
famously he was first on the moon,
but they took that away because of the steroids.
But anyway, Buzz Aldrin was second on the moon.
And I met him.
We were going to NASA.
Actually, the reason this came up recently,
and the reason it was on my mind,
is George Whitesides is running for House.
He is running in a district near Los Angeles,
another close race that could determine
and control the House.
But he worked for Virgin Galactic,
and he had worked at N...
Yeah, yeah.
With my Nick name in high school.
Let's just say I would never work there,
you know what I'm talking about?
All right.
This guy's voting early and stuffing my ballot year round.
Ballot box, sorry, yeah, so.
Yep.
I love to be on this show.
It's going great. I feel liberated here. And that's why I'm voting for John Lovett. I'm writing you on this show. It's going great.
I feel liberated here.
And that's why I'm voting for John Lovett.
I'm writing you in this year.
I don't care.
My vote doesn't matter here.
Trump's going to win in California.
So allegedly.
So George Whitesides was working on the NASA transition.
Anyway, I went to NASA with President Obama,
and I'd worked on a speech about space policy. It was a very complicated thing because the
Bush administration had really neglected it. There's a lot of Florida politics involved,
sparing you the details. No, I want more.
But I ended up in a van with Buzz Aldrin, I believe from the ride from Air Force One to where the president was speaking. And we're in the van and Buzz Aldrin was just,
I'm sorry, he was a strange dude, strange dude.
But we're in this van, everyone's trying
to make conversation and Buzz Aldrin says,
he picks out, he has like USA Today with him
and he points at it.
And there's an article that references him in it,
I believe, and he just looked at me and he goes.
Local sex offender, Buzz Aldrin.
No. Rides with cute little twink, John Lippett.
Partner of disgraced clown, Zack Zucker.
But so he pointed the article and he just looks at me dead
in the eyes and he goes, I share a publicist with Barbara
Streisand.
I share a publicist with Barbara Streisand. And I'm stupid.
No.
And that's funny.
And so I say, well, that makes a lot of sense.
I've always thought of you as the Barbara Streisand of space.
Because he's defying gravity. Because he's defined gravity.
Because he's defined.
That's right.
Because he's the...
Yentl?
I can't think of a...
It's hard to figure out.
But so he, I say this, he turns bright fucking red.
Like angry.
And lest you forget, Buzz Aldrin famously
will punch strangers in public.
That is something about Buzz Aldrin to remember.
And I want that to change.
And somebody else in the van is like,
he's kidding, he's kidding, he makes jokes,
he tells jokes.
You're more of a Lea Michele type.
Right.
Can't read, is rude to everyone
and punches people in the face.
Allegedly.
And he calmed down on the subject change
but that was the time Buzz Aldrin almost punched me in the face.
And baby if I was there I would have taken it for you.
And then what would have happened with Buzz Aldrin?
No!
Alright. there, I would have taken it for you. And then what would have happened with Buzz Aldrin? No!
Alright.
Alright, next up!
Don't worry, the CEO of Starbucks says they are planning and ready for unrest after the election.
CEO Brian Nicol told CNBC, we always have a security monitoring.
What's going on at all of our stores?
Our partner safety and customer safety is really important. Fortunately for us, we already have all these systems in place that in the event something happens,
we're prepared and we'll make sure to keep everybody safe. So Starbucks is ready for the collapse of civilization.
Isn't that inspiring?
Would they make their coffee worse to repel everybody from going in there?
Okay, Starbucks crowd. All right.
No coffee bean enthusiasts? The tea and the leaf?
Does anyone live here? You going to coffee bean?
Do I?
No, I'm not really a coffee drinker.
I kind of went off on a limb there
thinking that that reference would work
and I regret it.
I think it did work.
I think all of this is working.
I do too.
I'm really, I never want this to end.
A new article in the Atlantic this week
explains how black plastic cooking utensils are often
made from recycled electronics waste.
And they are apparently releasing
flame retardant chemicals into our food
when we use them for cooking.
This is an article that basically said, throw away
your black plastic utensils.
Do you have any?
That feels racially charged first.
Sure.
Yeah, no, I think so.
I think that's part of it.
Yeah, I knew that was the best reaction I'd get from that.
But I actually think so.
I steal a lot of forks from Chipotle when I go.
Because I'm on the road a lot, and you never
know when you might need a fork to get a little frisky with somebody, you know what I'm saying?
Right.
But I, so I guess I have a lot of those.
I also, I would love to use this opportunity.
In fifth grade, we had to do reports, kind of like a book report on a restaurant that
we liked in our town.
And there was a girl, I'm not going to say her name, but she was saying it was Chipotle, and I reminded her kindly by, loud and angry,
saying, oh no, it's Chipotle.
And I got sent to the principal's office,
but who's fucking laughing now, Susan?
I threw out a spatula when I saw that.
I saw it between when I read that article this afternoon,
and coming to this show tonight, I threw out a spatula.
Really?
Really?
I threw out a spatula.
I threw out a spatula.
I threw out a spatula.
I threw out a spatula.
I threw out a spatula.
I threw out a spatula. I threw out a spatula. I threw out a spatula. I threw out a spatula. I threw out a spatula. I threw out a spatula when I saw that.
Between when I read that article this afternoon and coming to this show tonight, I threw out
a spatula.
Really?
On the ground?
No, in the garbage can.
Okay.
I was going to say, we carry...
Throw it in the garbage.
Is that the one I got you for our anniversary?
Yeah, and obviously a collection of plastic tongs and spatulas was a beautiful gift.
I thought I wore the tongs pretty well.
They accentuated my hips.
It was a very personal and beautiful gift.
I got those for you after the real world.
You were just on the real world recently, weren't you?
You don't know about that.
Oh, yeah.
It's a secret.
Can you come here for a second?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's going on?
Oh, sorry.
I mean, I know that we're just having fun here
and telling people what's going on,
and that's fine, that part is fine,
but they can't know about stuff like that.
Like, we signed an NDA. OK. So like, if I'm on something like the real world, what would I do? what's going on. And that's fine. That part is fine. But they can't know about stuff like that. We signed an NDA.
So if I'm on something like the real world,
the bank that's saying straight out of Compton?
Yeah, that's the one.
I signed them.
I signed their label.
But so, wait, no, but listen.
We can joke around.
And I think they don't really know anymore what's real.
And that's fun, which is kind of cool, right?
Because we are.
What's happening is real.
Yeah, it's real. But they don't know that.? Because we are, what's happening is real,
but they don't know that.
But don't tell them about the stuff,
like the real world thing,
because they don't know about that.
That's okay.
I just think that, yeah, so what?
They're gonna see you throw a tantrum
and get kicked off the program.
But that's not the point.
The point is, but you always fucking do this.
You do this.
I'm not asking you what you think I should want.
I'm telling you what I want.
I don't want them to know yet. And then you say, who cares? I care, so just take that at face value. Why do I have to argue with you what I think I should want. I'm telling you what I want. I don't want them to know that.
And then you say, who cares?
I care.
So just take that at face value.
Why do I have to argue with you what I care about?
Just hear what I care about and say that's OK.
And if maybe I'll change my mind later.
But right now, this is what I'm doing.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Woo.
Kind of getting an election over here, if you know what I mean.
Zach Zucker everybody.
Zach will stick around, stay there.
When we come back, it's time to spin the wheel.
And we're back!
All right.
For election week, we are going all in with daily coverage of every race, every count.
What a day will be in your feeds with Jane Costen breaking down what you need to know
in 20 minutes.
Pond Save America will release new episodes starting Monday with in-depth analysis of
the latest news every morning until the race is called.
And in case the Trump campaign is feeling loose with their legal challenges, Crooked's
go-to legal experts from Strix Group will stop by shows across the network to unpack
breaking news plus drop bonus episodes on their feed.
For those who want more, you can find all this on your favorite podcast platform and
YouTube.
Also, this is the last weekend to do everything we can to get persuadable voters to the polls
for Kamala Harris.
Reach out to everyone you know.
Every call and conversation will matter in this election and equally important as reaching
out to friends and family is volunteering in battlegrounds.
This weekend, Dan, John, and I are heading to Arizona
and Nevada to knock doors and rally voters.
You can join us for those events or sign up to knock doors
in the swing states nearest you or phone bank.
It is critical.
Go to vote, saveamerica.com slash 2024
to volunteer right now.
Do it right now.
All right, please welcome Ricky Lake.
And for the first time, Allison Reese.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes!
Hi, gay.
What's up, what's wrong, buddy?
Hi, gay.
Hi, gay, good to see you.
Come on, come on.
Meg Stalter, so funny.
Hey.
Great hat.
What are you?
Gay.
Oh.
No, I'm a League of their Own.
League of their Own.
Yeah.
I'm sensing a theme on this show.
No, where's the deep straight representation?
Again, I lost them.
So, it's okay.
Whatever you feel, I feel a thousand times worse.
What was Ricky Lake's?
I'm hetero, I'm boring hetero.
Ricky Lake Stray.
Gotta represent, I'm representing.
Your outfit screams curious.
Sorry.
All night, this has been our spooky Halloween episode
and all night we've heard the moaning and wailing of ghosts,
even gay ghosts, here at Dynasty Time Printer. But if I could get serious about ghosts for a second, like I so often do, ghosts only
happen when people die with unfinished business.
So to ensure we don't all stay tethered to this gone forsaken realm, after our demise,
we're going to close things out with a game we're calling Remorse Code.
Oh, nice.
That's good.
Damn.
Spooky.
We'll spin the wheel when it lands on us.
We'll each share one thing we'll do
to prevent soul binding regret.
Now, chew the wheel.
Oh.
It has landed on Ricky Lake.
Yeah.
All right, what do I regret?
No, what are you going to do to prevent yourself
from having a regret?
I'm gonna follow through.
I'm gonna full steam ahead.
Never look back, never doubt myself.
Just jump feet first.
Okay.
Wow.
I love that.
You believe me, right?
No, sure.
I mean, I get the sense that that's something you do.
So I buy it.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, it's true.
I wish I could do that.
No, I take it.
That was it.
OK.
Believe it.
I believe in that.
I like that.
OK.
I already regret it.
Allison, what is one thing you're
going to do to avoid a regret that will keep you ensconced
here in the human realm.
Ensconced?
What kind of a Midwest ass word is ensconced?
Breakfast treat.
Ensconced.
I think ensconced is like a little light, right?
I think it's a little light that's on the wall.
Yeah, because it's ensconced on the wall.
It's ensconced.
You're going to say tchotchkes next?
OK, what do I not regret?
Sometimes I say tchotchkes.
What am I going to do?
That's our safe word.
That's our safe word.
That's our safe word.
Yeah.
Tchotchkes, tchotchkes.
That's not how I say it.
Too many syllables for a safe word, guys.
I know, but I want to make sure he really means it. Hey, can I light this? I keep not how I say it. That's too many syllables for a safe word, guys. I know, but I wanna make sure he really means it.
You know?
Hey, can I light this?
Yeah, I keep asking if I could smoke.
Well, I asked once and they didn't go for it, so I stopped.
But I have so many more cigarettes.
Can I do it?
Yeah.
Yeah!
Ha ha ha ha!
I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke
and you won't give me one?
Ass up.
Yeah. The city's changed. I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke and you won't give me one? Oh, you will. Ass up.
Yeah.
The city's changed.
I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke.
That is a rap lyric that goes hard.
I'm ass up for the host trying to smoke.
Damn.
Trying to bend him over so he can give me a poke.
Ooh, ooh.
Yeah, it's time to get out there and vote.
Stuff the ballot box.
Come on, y'all.
Let's get, whoa.
Ah!
That's what I'm saying.
All right.
That was fun.
I'm gonna get more tattoos is the answer.
Nice.
Yeah, I got a moon I wanna get.
I have a couple, I have this cat.
I wanted to be a cat when I was a child,
that was my aspiration.
And I feel like I'm doing that.
The other one is on my ring finger.
I am going through a divorce,
and I am getting it lasered off,
but I want to get, ouch.
Getting your ring finger lasered off?
I'm getting my whole finger gone.
They don't tell you when you get the one.
I had one done, and I regret it.
It hurt, it felt like lightning striking.
Getting it removed?
No, just having it on my finger.
Wait, can I see it?
Oh, it's fading fast.
Oh, oh, was the idea that it would be under the ring?
Or is it just on the finger?
You know, and you see, this is why we're getting a divorce.
No, it's not.
This is OK.
Nice to see you.
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys are going to learn a lot about me right now.
But I wanna get the moon, I wanna get
the divine flower and a tree. All right, I love that.
Trying to get the moon a divine flower.
Uh.
What? Just landed on Zach. I'm like, yeah, obviously. I'm like, yeah, obviously. I'm like, yeah, obviously. I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
I'm like, yeah, obviously. And I love, I always have a little fun correspondence
with the group when I send the photo and they're like,
hey, are you cool if we still use this?
I'm like, yeah, obviously.
That's why we did it.
No, what do I do to not have regrets?
I, phew, I should have thought about this
before I came on here.
Well now let's see what comes out.
No, I guess I kind of just try it.
Ass up close yet again.
Yeah.
You should have seen me before you guys were out here.
I was using the space.
I was like busting it out.
It was.
That's right.
I, uh...
And that's the tone that he uses with us as well.
Mm-hmm. That's right.
Mm-hmm. yeah, right there.
Chachki, Chachki, Chachki, you know what?
I don't live with many regrets.
I think lately if I'm gonna be vulnerable and honest
and have a complete character shift on this,
because we love an arc.
Am I right, Noah?
But I...
He comes in twos, sometimes we come in threes,
fours, whatever, but I love to be on this show.
I don't want it to end, that's why I'm not saying it.
Maybe that's, maybe.
The two of us walking down onto his boat like this.
No, I think I have, I love to do stuff all the time
and I love to kind of live in like a Peter Pan fantastical
way of like life will never end.
And so I do follow that and it's tiring
and it can burn you out sometimes
and you can feel like shit.
But then you have to remember that it's, you know,
you're, I shouldn't have been vulnerable.
You gotta also remember to say how you feel
even if maybe it's not always
gonna be what the other person wants to hear. But you gotta protect your peace. And I think
I've done a good job at doing that while still maintaining that ability to do whatever I
want, whoever I want. Whatever I want, whenever I want it, if he wants it.
Except smoking on stage right now.
Except smoking on stage. If they were cool, they would let me smoke on... I mean, I never
perform here anyway, so it doesn't matter.
You know, I'm not gonna get invited back.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Wow. Wrap it up. You're gonna leave on this. And how do you feel now? Honestly, I feel like I could keep going. You know, I will say this.
You sound like Justin Timberlake to me.
Because I had him naked by the end of the show.
Whoa!
Remember Super Bowl?
Remember you did that?
Oh yeah.
No regrets for him.
No regrets.
I'm trying to live life like Justin Timberlake with Janet Jackson.
Lock it in.
He ripped off her shirt and she got in trouble.
I know.
What a country.
Let's spin it again.
I'm hopped up on prep right now.
No one else has seen his mugshot.
Oh!
What?
Who would have thunk it?
It has landed on me.
You know, I'll be introspective. Oh! Oh! What? Who would've thunk it? It has landed on me.
You know, I'll be introspective. I'll follow in Zach's footsteps.
After the show.
Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Right? A bit romantic. Or is it? Or is it a bit? You don't know.
You're not sure.
Follow us home.
See how it goes.
You can't be sure.
See if it's one car or two car.
And sometimes we might be trying to throw you off that scent.
We got to keep the paparazzo at bay,
because it is just one guy.
Sorry.
It's my paparazzo.
He's my Italian grandfather.
Get out of here. Get out of here.
Get out of here.
I had an unhelpful thought.
I had an unhelpful thought, which I'll share.
Because I think this is a weekend of helpful thoughts.
But I'll show you one unhelpful thought, which is it's,
I think part of the reason politics feels so bad right
now is because of how much time is consumed by it.
Now, that's what should be happening right now.
We should all be consumed by politics right now.
That's the right mentality. We're at the end here. We have to do everything. And it's right to be preoccupied by it. Now that's what should be happening right now. We should all be consumed by politics right now. That's the right mentality. We're at the end here, we have to do everything,
and it's right to be preoccupied by it. The stakes are total and the race is too close.
But I do think so much of what's happening right now is, especially for the other side,
we are kind of reactive to it. But there are just millions of people who are just paying too close
of attention to politics
in a way that's deeply unhealthy.
They are on social media all day.
They're on Facebook all day or Instagram or Twitter or wherever, TikTok.
And especially for some of these Trump voters, I think it is all consuming.
I want to figure out after this election how to think about, how to talk about how we talk
about politics and specifically making sure that we're all consuming this in a way that
is healthy for us while making sure that we are not tuning out because it would sometimes
be easier to tune out and it's a difficult balance to strike.
But I sometimes feel like for me personally, I want to know that when I'm doing this show
or we're doing What a Weekday or we're doing Pod Save America, that I'm not just on a hamster
wheel of talking about the latest thing and that I have space to step back and think about
what's important and what matters so that I have not just, I don't know, not just opinions,
but perspective. And I think at a moment like this, I think none
of us right now have perspective, which is fine. We shouldn't, we should just be fucking in it.
But I want to think about how to get not just takes, but perspective. And that's hard. But
that's what I want to do. And that's what I want to make sure after the, on the other side of this,
whatever may come that I'm thinking about, because, you know, we don't know what's going to happen.
None of us does, but we do know what we can do. And that's, that's all that I was thinking about because, you know, we don't know what's gonna happen, none of us does,
but we do know what we can do,
and that's all that I was thinking about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I gotta stop, I gotta stop going
to the McDonald's drive-thru, I just have to.
I can't, I gotta stop knowing, here's the thing,
tell me about Los Angeles, for people,
that when you're driving from,
there's a whole big chunk of the city that has,
you just kind of, you're in the grid.
And I know where to turn on the grid
to hit the various McDonald's on my way to work.
I know the turns, I know the turn for gas,
and I know the turn for the McDonald's.
McDonald's on Vine, the one.
I just know where they are, I know where they all are,
without adding any time to my fucking trip.
And it's gotta stop, something's gotta stop,
and that's the thing that I'm gonna stop,
and that's my goal.
What about all of our McDonald's role plays?
Are we just not doing that anymore?
No, I mean, we can still put on the headset
and have our fun in our apron.
Wow, so I for sure thought this was gonna be role play
as the characters, like Grimace, the Hamburglar.
No. You guys are going to work?
No, I respect. That's crazy.
I respect the IP of the company.
I don't wanna get sued.
No, no, you thought of something kind of like gross,
like he plays Mayor McCheese and I play the Hamburglar?
No, no, no, no, no. Yes.
No. No, no, no.
That's not hot sauce.
I am serving him fries.
No, no, no. No, no, no.
That's not hot sauce.
I am serving him fries.
Happy ending meal.
Yeah.
Ricky Lake with a button.
We come back.
We'll end on a high note.
And now, because we all need it, here it is the high note.
Hi, love it.
This is Amy.
My high note is completing 15 miles of a 100 mile trail race relay.
That's the furthest I've ever run.
And I did seven and a half of those miles at night.
I listened to the October 19th episode while I was running.
And I think I was the only person out there on the trail laughing out loud for most of
my run while I tried to avoid tripping over roots and running into trees.
My team had a wonderful time. Shout out to Ghost Train Trail Races. We can't wait to be
there next year. And we thank you so much for keeping us entertained.
Hey, love it. It's Mary in central Oregon, specifically Oregon Congressional District 5,
where I just got to cast my ballot for Janelle Bynum for Congress and Kamala Harris for President.
I'm going to be phone banking tomorrow to make sure
that others can get their votes in too.
Another high note for me is when your guests react
to the picture of them that's created
for whatever game you guys are going to be playing,
they always seem flattered and delighted
and it always makes me laugh.
Thanks.
Also, we have got a special set of high notes from Vote Save America's Last Call.
So take a listen.
These are people that have done what we asked you all to do, which is reach out to three
friends in swing states or colleagues or ex-lovers or future lovers.
So we have some high notes from people who are part of Vote Save America's Last Call.
Let's hear from those people.
Hey, John, John and Tommy.
Erin here from Massachusetts. I used the Last Call tool to
reach out to my sister-in-law in Pennsylvania about voting for Kamala. And we touched on women's
health rights and the unrest that a Trump presidency would cause. I used her script to let her know that
I was here for any questions she might have. After our chat, she said that although she had been
undecided, she would be casting a vote for Kamala and even thought she could get her mom, who's also in Pennsylvania, on board too.
Thanks for the push, guys, and for all you do.
Matthew D'Alessio Hi, John. I'm Matthew from California,
and I used her last call tool to reach out to a friend in Pennsylvania about voting for Kamala
Harris for president and re-electing Senator Bob Casey. And I also spoke to a friend in California
about voting for the Democratic congressional candidate
in her district.
I talked to both of them about reproductive rights,
climate change, and the future of democracy.
And at the end of our conversations,
they both committed to voting for Kamala Harris
and Democrats up and down the ballot.
Thanks everybody who sent in a high note tonight.
If you want to send us a message
about something that made you feel hope,
and we don't know how much we're gonna need it the next time we hear this show. Leave us a high note at lowlyhighnotesatcrooked.com,
L-O-L-I, highnotesatcrooked.com. Or if you're a friend of the Pot Subscriber, you can leave
it in the Discord in the Love It or Leave It channel or the High Notes channel. Also,
let me just say one last thing, which is thank you all for listening and being part of this show.
We do this and it all feels like it leads up
to a moment like this and you get to a moment like this
and you wonder, you just feel like you can't possibly
be here and it is here and the only way it is possible
to keep our fucking heads in the sewer
that is the American political news cycle
is because there are so many amazing people
that listen to this show, that are part of this community, that are part of Vote Save America and this amazing
team that puts this show together week after week, even when the news is bleak, even when
people are scared and worried themselves trying to make something fun and joyful during this
dark time.
So thank you all for listening.
Thank you all for being a part of this.
Thank you all for being part of Vote Save America. Thank you to Alison Reece, Zach Zucker and Ricky Lake.
See you all on the other side.
There are three days until the 2024 elections.
Have a great night and have a great weekend.
And thank you, Pundit. It's love it or leave it. Street Shoot Time.
Love it or leave it. It's love it or leave it. and This is a podcast and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Scheng, Mia Kelman and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. or leave it. It's love it or leave it.