Lovett or Leave It - License to Kimmel

Episode Date: May 2, 2026

We’re live from our brand new studio in Hollywood as Republicans take a spin around Trump’s ballroom, Melania goes UFC on ABC, and the Mentalist makes room on Jimmy Kimmel Live. Then Ron Funches joins to talk Traitors, Real Housewives and, of course, autism. Pen15’s Anna Konkle looks back at parenting, embarrassing childhood moments, and one really weird party at Salman Rushdie’s house. Check out the gorgeous new set on YouTube and enjoy as we work out all the gorgeous kinks!For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast, episode title, and episode date.

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I did freak out and buy a bunch of vintage furniture for the set on Sunday because comedy is about the color of the chairs. And I want to thank you all for being our very first official live audience here in the new space. We consider the previous eight years to be practiced. Just getting the reps in. Joining me tonight are my guest, the hilarious Ron Funches,

the incredible Anna Conchle. They're going to help me evaluate history's greatest minds, tell some eggy truths, and of course question it all with second thoughts. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Since we last spoke, a gunman tried to charge into the ballroom of the Washington Hilton,

where the White House Correspondent Center was being held in a failed attempt to assassinate President Trump and other top officials. But other than that, Mrs. Trump, how was the mentalist. Almost immediately, Republicans coalesced around one response to this political violence. We must build the ballroom. It's like how Ronald Reagan used his assassination attempt at the Washington Hilton

to garner political support for Nancy Reagan's White House sex dungeon. It's called Just Say Yes. And speaking of Just Say Yes, House Speaker Mike Johnson immediately embraced the talking point. The ballroom will be a solution for this, and it'll have sense. seven inch thick glass, for example, on the windows. So it'll be a very safe environment to do events like this. We need a place. We have needed a place like that,

and the president keeps pointing it out. Nothing makes Mike Johnson feel safer than seven thick inches. Any more than that? It's overkill. Any less than that, it's like there's nothing in there. Speaking of wanting it in there, Senator Lindsey Graham also unveiled his plan to spend 400 million

$1,000 of taxpayer money to build this ballroom. Disgusting. For $400 million, we could provide health care for an entire city, or more likely, buy Israel one bomb. Sorry to get political. The Justice Department also asked a judge to allow construction on the ballroom to resume, claiming in a legal document

that the ballroom should proceed because Trump is, quote, a highly successful real estate developer who has abilities that others don't. Still doesn't make it his house. You're a renter. It's our house. If Frank Lloyd Wright was your tenant,

and he knocked down your house, and you're like, what the fuck, Frank Lloyd Wright? And he's like, no, it's fine. I'm going to rebuild it, but this time it'll be dangling over a river. You'd be pissed. More like Frank Lloyd wrong. Meanwhile, there's a stalemate with Iran. Gas is $5 a gallon.

Bravo can't contain the Summerhouse leak, but the president is completely consumed with interior decorating. Well, Mr. President, in light of today's Supreme Court ruling on the Voting Rights Act, do you want Republican states in the South to look at redrawing congressional districts before the mid-term... I don't know you have to tell me. When did the ruling come out? I've been with the astronauts. I've been with contractors because we're trying to get the ballroom built ahead of schedule. It's right on schedule. It's ahead of schedule now. Keep in the way. It sucks to admit it, but I can relate to Trump here.

When you're feeling overwhelmed because you started a war in the Middle East, you can't end, or you're launching a new version of your podcast, it helps to become obsessed with one ultimately small detail. I've been so wrapped up in sourcing interesting lamps for this studio. I barely even looked at tonight's jokes. I don't even know how this one ends. I'm just reading it helplessly, completely unaware that the punchline is, I hereby promise my writers a 50% raise.

Come on. On Monday, Melania Trump got retroactively very mad at Jimmy. Kimmel, describing a joke he had made last Thursday as, quote, hateful and violent, saying people like Kimmel shouldn't have the opportunity to enter our homes every evening to spread hate. Here's the joke she was referring to, delivered during a fake White House correspondent's dinner speech. Our first lady, Melania, is here. Look at, well, so beautiful.

Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. Of course, the joke is tasteless because Melania will be entombed alive in her husband's burial chamber, along with his gold, spices, and other earthly treasures that will help ensure a godlike status upon his entering the eternal field of reeds. And Jimmy Kimmel should have known that. After Melania and her husband complained about Kimmel, the FCC ordered a review of Disney's broadcast licenses for eight ABC stations in major cities, claiming revocation would depend on their conduct. So I hope everyone is excited for Disney's new slate of films. It's Inside Out 3. Riley's pregnant as a teenager and it's great.

Frozen 4. Now only the boys have powers. And Toy Story 6, Buzz and Woody stop Bonnie from getting top surgery. Come on, Buzz. I don't know, Woody. Got to get to that hospital. To stop Bonnie's

top surgery. Bonnie's getting her tits off. Fuck. Get that dinosaur and the other one. I guess whenever Toy Story came out, and someone would have to check the math, but I believe this is true,

it was in theaters at the same time as the movie Heat. I think that's about when they both came out. And my mother and I went to see Toy Story, but we went in the wrong theater, and we're like, what is this trailer? This is so long. And my mother and I just watched like 15 minutes of heat. FCC chair, Brendan Kahn.

held a press conference on Thursday about the thing we were talking about earlier. Did you get any pressure from the White House to take this action on Disney? Did you speak to President Trump? Did any of the White House direct you to do this? No, this was a decision that we made inside this building based on where we were in the enforcement matter. There was no pressure from the outside. This was a decision we made inside this building based on truth social post we read inside this building. And how dare you suggest I was pressured? I was nominated for this job because I don't need to be pressured. I didn't lick a boot. My tongue was merely extended as the boot passed by.

But all of this had one incredible downstream effect. Oz Perlman, the White House Correspondence Dinner's mentalist, was already booked to appear on Kimmel's show on Monday. But while he was flying out to L.A., Malania freaked out at Jimmy, and so when he landed, he backed out. The mentalist canceled? What is this? CBS in 2014? Kimmel didn't even know the mentalist canceled until he bit into a sandwich and found a pre-written apology note. The guy is that good. And honestly, sincerely, I find the mentalist's decision to back out offensive as someone who would crawl over broken glass to be a guest on a late-night talk show. There's actually a lot I'd be willing to do to be on television, it turns out. But mentalist, you're canceling on a late-night talk show? Do you

have any idea how lucky you are to be invited to be on a late-night talk show? There aren't that many of them It's an endangered species. And do you know lucky you are to be a rich magician? Where's your abrica gratitude? So because the dinner was disrupted and the first lady got mad about a joke and the mentalist doesn't want to upset Trump because the mentalist still wants to perform if the dinner is rescheduled, Jimmy Kimmel had to scramble to find someone available. And I am nothing if not available. Please welcome John Lovett.

But the only reason there was a mentalist scheduled for the White House Corresponding, correspondence dinner in the first place is because Donald Trump loves to mock people, but he can't take a joke. And unfortunately, he is a great Rose comic. Here he is at an event at the Oval Office with the Artemis crew and NASA administrator, Jared Isaacman. Are you considering relocating NASA's headquarters out of D.C. wants the leases up states like Texas, Ohio, and Florida?

Well, the best man to tell you that is a man sitting right over here. You heard that question with those beautiful ears of years? He's got great hearing, you know. He's got superhero. Trick of the train, sir. Now, a real comedian would have known to call them satellite dishes. Donald Trump forgot this interaction 30 seconds later. Jared Isaacman will think about it on his deathbed,

his specially made T-shaped deathbed. I feel bad making fun of this guy's ears, because he can hear us from Washington. By the way, this is true. My ears stuck out when I was a kid. Here's a pick. You can see it. You can see them right there.

though it might be difficult to see it in this photo because I'm serving so much cunt. But Trump isn't even the funniest head of state. King Charles stopped by the White House this week to cut it up with the best of them. On this occasion, I cannot help noticing the readjustments to the east wing, Mr. President. And I'm sorry to say that we British, of course,

made our own small attempt at real estate redevelopment of the White House in 1814. Sensing a battle. of wits was afoot, Trump then shouted, Your brother is a pedophile! But this is about more than just jokes. Trump can't be mocked because he can't handle anyone who questions

his authority. That's why this week, Trump's Department of Justice indicted former FBI director James Comey for posting a photo of seashells that spelled out 8647. The claim here is that James Comey, a rule follower in every bone of his giant

six-foot-eight-inch skeleton, on a stroll by the water, one day, decided to threaten the president by suggesting he is like a grilled cheese sandwich at a diner that the customer no longer wants. It is a completely ridiculous case, and I do hope Comey goes to prison. No, that's not fair, but a little bit. And I know that's wrong, and it's a completely unfair thing. And he should, he has to fight in, and I'm rooting for him, but on some level it would be

nice to see James Comey go to fuck in prison. It's too tall. People at that height are not getting enough fucking feedback. What I have genuinely. Here's Cash Patel on the complexity of a case about a photo of the beach. And as the Attorney General indicated, this has been a case that's been investigated over the past 9, 10, 11 months. Okay.

So you're investigating a picture of shells. You've been at it for six months. Talk to me about month seven of this investigation. You wake up and you go where? And so here we are. The FCC is abusing its power over broadcast licenses. to attack the president's political enemies. But the signs of broader challenges

facing late night are everywhere. Look how far. Late night has fallen. Which means, at long last, all the pieces of my plan are falling into place. I knew Hollywood would never give me a television show. Well, they actually gave me several television shows. I've had incredible opportunities.

Like sand through my fucking fingertips. I still decided to destroy television itself. 15 years ago, I helped write the jokes at the 2011 White House Correspondents Center, jokes that allegedly made Trump so angry he ran for president. And then, I simply had to wait. Wait for the day that all that would be left is podcasts. When I created a sitcom, I followed Amy Polar. When I created a podcast, Amy Polar followed me.

I'm like those rats that survived when the meteor killed the dinosaurs. Those dinosaurs thought they were so big and tough, but those giants needed so many calories. Not me, a rat. Rats can survive off of ads for supplements and mattresses in a growing subscription community, which you can join now at crooked.com slash friends. And now, the final step of my diabolical plot.

We've got a great show for you tonight. Ron Von Funches is here. And we'll be right back. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Life can be a lot sometimes. Regardless of what's keeping you up at night or leaving you overwhelmed, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it all out on your own. But you don't have to face these challenges alone.

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great meals. And then throughout the week, I know that whatever is going to happen, instead of ordering bad takeout or grabbing McDonald's or making something from the garbage I find in my home, I have an amazing meal that I chose for myself, like a Penang curry or... Love the Panang curry. I know all of them. Yeah. I think there's like over 300 options. I feel like I've probably know most of them by now.

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And we're back. Love it or Leave It fans. If you haven't already, check out Love It or Leave It right now on YouTube where you can see our brand new set. Good long look at this place where we'll be doing lowly episodes twice a week. That's right, twice a week. And we are inviting people to come see our hot, sexy, cool new space just in time for our two Netflix is a joke.

shows on May 5th and May 7th, so go to crooked.com slash events to get tickets for those shows and more before they sell out. And now, please welcome to the stage, the real winner of traders in our hearts at the very least. It's Ron Funches. Hi. Thank you for being here, buddy. Come on in. First of all, it's great to see you. Wow, you're like a spider in there. Yeah, sometimes I'm like a spider. It's so cute. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here.

And I know you were on traders and you were there with a bunch of gamers, as they call them. And you said survivor contestants are scary and that the island changes you. Yeah. Now, how long do you think I would have had to be on that island to become scary? How long did you survive? I missed three dinners. I was hungry. That's just a small adventure.

Yeah, no, you can, yeah, no, for sure. No, for sure. You know, when you get it voted out on Survivor, they make a big show of, like, bringing you back to what they call Ponderosa, and they bust out the scale so people can see how much weight you lost. And it was like, I lose this much weight after a good shit. I think if you're there longer than a week, you start looking at people as prey, you know? All right, so I've got to go a little bit longer next time.

You also said in your stand-up that the real... Quoting me. What? Why are you always quoting me? I'm a journalist now. I'm a journalist. You're the second person I've interviewed today. The first person I interviewed you today was Bernie Sanders.

What? So I talked to you and Bernie Sanders. I'm glad that you got an upgrade now. Yeah. It's like finally somebody I can like talk to. All right. So you said that the real housewives should be on a government watch list. That I stand by.

Yeah. What, you know, you've talked about, I'm curious, like, When did you first realize that the housewives are, I've interviewed several of them, including Dorinda, who was on the show with you. And there was a moment when I was talking to Rinda where I realized I was approaching, like, the electric fence on the other side of which.

You know what I mean? Like I was like about to get zapped? What was your experience like? They was just zapping me, no matter where I was. Yeah, you go in there, And I just try to be very open and not judge anyone. I never watched that franchise. And I didn't think that a lot of people would know who I was,

but to me, neither of those things matter. I just like to get no people at a base level, but they don't believe in that. It's not part of their faith. No. So, you know, I was thinking about you on that show. And you love wrestling. I do.

But, you know, the whole, was there any part of you that, thought like, oh, you know what, I need to treat this like wrestling, where I need to be the character that's trying to win the traitors. Was there any part of you that thought about it that way? Like, I got to do some k-fabe. If I was a traitor, then I would have, because that would have made sense to me of like, oh, I have to go against my base instincts. I'm supposed to, like, murder these people, so I have to pretend more to me being faithful I took as being being authentic. So I was like, I was going to be my authentic self and be who I am and be helpful and be kind. And so I didn't want to pretend or lie because then I thought that would be more

readable. But I guess it just showed them how much I didn't care for them and they saw that easily. Yeah. Well, I, because I remember when you came on Love It or Leave It, after you had filmed Traders and it before had had come out. And I'm very sympathetic. Well, I'm very sympathetic. Because for me, the hardest time between being on Survivor and when Survivor aired were the weeks in between where people were like, I can't wait to see you. I'm sure you did amazing. I'm sure you had a great time. And I was like, oh, bitch, I'm fucked, you know? Although, can I tell you something that I found out this week, which is apparently, so I used to work for Hillary Clinton. And apparently there was some kind of conversation and people were wondering how far I went in Survivor. And people were that were like kindly saying, oh, I bet love it went really. foreign survivor and apparently Hillary Clinton said I think he's out first. I can see it. You even did. I saw the face when she said it. I just couldn't believe. I was like, how does she know? How does she know? And then you think, you know what? She knew, like I worked for Hillary Clinton when I was like 23, 24, 25 and I feel like she saw the raw

version of me that is exposed when you're on a reality show. And I was wondering if you felt at all, like, was there something about that experience that was, like, getting at any kind of, like, insecure? Like, you're, I think of you as a confident person who knows yourself, but was there any part of you that, like, that experience, like, brought out, like, insecurities or ways in which people have responded negatively to you in the past? Yeah, no, it brought out a cycle that I was used to of just, like, I try to come and be a positive and be truthful and direct, and for what other reasons are the judgments of

others, people assume that I'm not being trustworthy or not even. That was okay because that's like a game of deception. It was more of people being like, he's not pulling his part, he's not trying, he doesn't want to be here. And I took a fence to that. That felt personal to me. And I learned a lot about myself. To me it was an awesome experience and the fact that every other show I've been on is like

a character who is playful and sweet. And so I think a lot of people didn't know if that was me or just a character that I played and to see that me under duress or stressed out or yelling at someone and see my authentic self and be like, oh no, he's still pretty cool. Like, it was the best experience for me because people would be like, he's not fake.

He, you know, he talks how he talks, and he is who he is. Yeah, there's a, I remember when we talked about this in that period where you were saying that you didn't have the best experience, that I, there's a way in which, like, you're such a challenge because, so I worked with this guy, David Ackstor,

and he has this quality where he has this sort of like awshuck's demeanor and then underneath that is like one of the sharpest political minds you'll ever meet that and then one level to know that is just like a sweet guy and I feel like you have that in common too because if somebody might meet you and they might underestimate you because there's a kind of a laid-back quality that can lead you to be underestimated but underneath that you're so fucking smart and you're not missing anything and I feel like that That could be intimidating for people. And below that, I think you're a very good person.

But like in that middle level, I think you can get a lot of trouble. What's below that? I think autism. Right. Now, speaking of, today is the last day of autism. I'm not just calling someone autistic. This is something that Ron has talked about. He's doing hate speech.

Today is the last day of Autism Awareness Month, but it's always low-key autism awareness month here. I love it or leave it, which is why we wanted to play a game. calling did this historical figure have autism? It's not a diagnosis, it's just a gut feeling. Ron, are you ready? I'm ready.

I've been doing this my whole life. First up, George Washington Carver. Yeah, definitely had autism. Way to someone who's significantly obsessed with a peanut. Yes. Yeah, that tracks. He's like, I'm gonna pull everything out of this, yes. Autistic King.

George Washington, Carver. In 1941, Time Magazine called him the Black Leonardo as a reference to the Ninja Turtles. Next up, fairy tale author Hans Christian Anderson. Oh.

Tell me why. So here is why. In 1847, he met Charles Dickens at a party, glommed onto him. Anderson visited Dickens, extended his state of five weeks. He was asked to leave

by Charles Dickens, caught off all contact and refused to ever again respond to Hans Christian Anderson's letters. Anderson called himself a peculiar being and lamented his feeling of social isolation. He also wrote The Ugly Duckling and The Little Mermaid. I would say, yeah, but for the fact that he like went to the party, makes me feel like no. It's a no, Hans. Next up, Queen Elizabeth II.

Likeed horses and dogs more than people. Oh, that's it? Also member of the British Royal Family. Yeah, that's everybody. You got to give me more than that. I'm not letting her in the club off that. She didn't get Princess Diana. Oh, then she just can't come in.

No. Not autistic. It has been so ruled. Richard Trebethic, the inventor of the steam locomotive. He was apparently, according to Wikipedia, a disobedient, slow, obstinate, spoiled boy, frequently absent and very inattentive, except for when it came to math

in which he excelled, arriving at the correct answers by unconventional means. He also invented trains. Look at that guy. Come on. Yeah, just for the trains, for the autistic community alone. We've got to let them in. And finally, we have a noted podcaster

John Lovett. Now, ADHD, dead to rights, put me in the textbook. But autism. What do you think? I mean, you could. Have you been tested at all? I've done the ones online. What did they say? Yeah. Halfway through, they stop the test and say, ethically, we have to stop now to tell you to get help immediately. You know, like when they're running a trial and it turns out it cures the cancer so effectively, they have to stop so the control people can get some of the medicine too. That's what happens when I take an online quiz about autism.

Yeah, you got it. Hell yeah. This is the part where I tell you about the difference between the Dreamliner and the A350900 by Airbus. Now, what's interesting about this is a lot of people expected the Airbus A350,900, to be far more successful when compared to the Boeing Dreamliner. Filty casuals. Let's leave it there. When we come back, Anna Coggle joins to uncover some deep truths. Love to leave it is brought you by SimplySafe.

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and your first month is free by visiting. Simplysafe.com slash love it. That's half off at simplysafe.com slash love it. There is no safe like SimplySafe. And we're back. My next guest created the TV show Penn 15, which is this club, all the other kids kept asking me to join in middle school.

I'll process that offstage. And in the meantime, welcome to the stage, Anna Conkel. Hi. Thanks for being here. David, everybody. Come on in. Thank you. Hi.

Hi. Thanks for being here. Welcome. Thanks for having me. So, Anna, you've written a memoir. Yep. If it were me, I'd only include happy stories where I come across amazing. Is that what you did?

No, it's kind of the opposite. Just like deep humiliation, moments that I regret, that kind of thing. Was it easier to write a book in which you kind of get into some hard to share stories after doing Penn 15? Penn made it easier, certainly. And I think, you know, I remember the night before Penn came out being in a fetal position on the floor, kind of like giggling that it was coming out and also freaking out, again, that there were so many personal stories in there and feeling like we were going to get chased with torches after it came out of like, you got to go. We don't accept you in humanity anymore. And that did happen. And it did. That did happen. But we got back in and it's okay. We'll put the fires out. So yes, that helped me go. I'll survive whatever happens this time.

So a big part of the story is your relationship with your dad and how it changed over the years and how you both changed as you got older. Why did you want to talk about that? And I feel like there's something about writing about when a parent doesn't provide stability and what the lesson is from that. Yeah, I think my, so my dad when I was little, as a lot of us do with our parents, just he could do no wrong. you know, just like, and he was my best friend, and we were super, super close. And then there was sort of a slow burn to estrangement in my mid-20s, and we didn't talk for about five years, or see each other, rather. And then eventually we kind of came together again, and he unfortunately got sick,

and I became a caregiver for a couple months. So it's a real upper. No, but it felt important to me. I like to talk about the gray areas of things and find the comedy and brutality and the earnestness. And so it was a story that I felt at the time alone in, now there's like the hashtags, no contact, no contact, a stranger. But I didn't feel that way then.

And so I felt like I was doing something wrong or I was too sensitive or I should have given another chance or whatever. And in retrospect, the whole journey was exactly as it was supposed to be. and I'm very grateful for my dad and for my own growth and throughout it. Nice. Yeah. Thank you. Ron's a dad.

You're a dad. I am a dad. I love being a dad, but I also, if you got to go no contact, you got to have boundaries sometime. I agree with cutting anyone off who doesn't serve you. Too many people get caught up. I think sometimes you go, oh, this person is good or bad and it becomes so universal that you backslide. but I learned to be like, this person is just not good for me. They don't bring out the best in me, and I don't need them in my life.

So I'm a big believer in that, but you got to earn, and it's an honor to be a dad and an honor to be a parent, so I love it. Love that. Now, you created and starred in Penn 15, which has a lot of childhood milestones of embarrassment. Yes. Was that a kind of therapy? Was there anything that you put in, that was the one you felt the most reluctance moment from your actual life to include in the show?

God, there are so many weird moments in that show that really happened. I mean, you know, we were playing 13 as 33-year-olds at the times. I mean, the process of filming was very humiliating because you're putting yourself in these humiliating situations and you're pretending to be 13 around real 13-year-olds and you're getting a lot of like, that's not cool, like in real life. And you'd be like, well, I know, I'm actually 33. I'm not 13. I know that you're 13 and you're doing the 13-year-old thing.

But anyway, my parents, honestly, the storyline with my parents already, I put it in there and regretted it. I'm also imagining if like two 33-year-old guys pitched 10-15 and be like, okay, we've already called the police. Thank you so much for coming in to Netflix, but the police are on their way and you've just got to go with that. wherever they want to go, you're not, we're not, it's true. You know, it's, you know, like, we're, you got to just go to jail for that one. Yeah, it was, it was meant, it was meant for us girls. And, you know, we were very intentional about how we filmed and, um, any firsts, like, I have my, I replayed my real first kiss, for example, and which I cried after in real life.

And all I had seen on TV was like the idealized version of, you know, the first kiss being amazing. She finally got it. Lizzie McGuire got her first. first kiss or whatever and I was like this is not how I felt but you know we would you do the scene with the 13 year old you're on other sides of the room you take one step towards him because at age 13 that feels like oh my god I'm getting closer and then we would cut to extreme close-ups like Renan Stimpy or an animated show of you know

the lips making out and then it would be an adult so there's so misconceptions about how the show was made but any any first was with an adult my age I want you to know something. That was not a misconception. I was not under the impression that Penn 15 was a show that contained many crimes in it. I didn't believe that. People do. I believe that you work that you there was an ethics to the idea. I came to this. I didn't need to be told that you did not kiss children on the set of this. Well, I just need to keep saying it into camera. I'm so glad you've had the space here to finally put this girass. That's why it came. Now, before Ben 15, you were hired as an actor to pretend to be a party guest.

Yeah, in college. In college, I was in theater school, and I was in New York, and I needed money to, I was like dating this guy who really loved he introduced me to Zagat Guides. Does anyone remember what that is? Is that how you pronounce it? Yeah, that's like a vase vase thing. I think I would have said Zaget. I said Zaget, and recently someone was like, Zagot.

Is it got? I don't know if that's right. But anyway, he loved, and so I was like, I'm going to take him out to a really expensive dinner, even though I needed to pay for textbooks. Mommy, Daddy, issues, it's fine. Looking for love. And so I went on Craigslist, and I was like, I'm an actor, I can be a vampire, I can be Dracula, like, I'll make some money.

And a socialite had posted something like, need people comfortable with celebrities. And I was like, I'm responding to that one. And I met with her. I was hired and I got, it's like morally a problem, but I got hired as a party plant for a kind of like a semi-famous person in publishing, a guy who I was told was a womanizer. And I was supposed to meet him. And I had never done drugs in my life.

And I was supposed to say like, like I want to do Coke, which I felt like such a pose. and had a bag of baking soda. And he said yes and was meeting me in the bathroom. And I went first and I laid down on the tile and put, I don't know, put fake blood coming out of my nose and the baking soda spilling out of my hands. I know the audience is looking at me like, I need to leave. So just so you were paid to go into the bathroom and pretend to have an overdose.

An overdose. Okay. So now everybody, I think they didn't fully believe what you were saying. Yeah, that's what happened. So I just want to say, you are now, so we're now, you put the baking soda on your nose and the fake blood,

and you're lying on the cool tile of the bathroom at the socialites home. Did you frame an innocent man? Yes. I did. So wait, yes. So wait. Yeah. What, you're...

So it worked. So, unfortunately. So basically, there was another plant in this whole thing, and she was the hostess, like she opened the door for very rich people, and she was in costume and took their coats. And so she was in on it. So I hear them come in and just go like, oh, my God, oh my God. And I'm just like that. And then I hear him go, we got to leave.

I like this guy. That wasn't part of the plan. I like this guy. I thought he was going to be like, oh, shit, not again. another one I have to help no he was like we gotta go and she was like um um thinking this is not in the script and also

what was he talking about and then finally and then they left and then they came back while I was still there and then she was like let's go get help and he said okay and that was my cue so when they left I got up and I changed into a wig and wiped myself off and went back into the party and then he's like

kind of on the verge of tears which is so sad telling the party I can't believe I'm saying this out loud but it's in the book so it's already out there and he's telling the host like what happened that your cousin she said I was her cousin

overdosed and she's not there anymore and then I got my cue and I took my wig off and I was like it was actually me and then he left the party and he said I was Nicole Kidman then he left the party So basically part of why the prank went bad is

they thought he was going to be like, oh no, oh no, we have to get help. But unfortunately his reaction is, I got to get the fuck out of here. And then the prank is ruined because he's left and come back and now you're in the room with the wig on. Yeah, he was just supposed to be bamboozled. And how much did you make for this? Like a couple thousand dollars. Oh, that's a good gig.

That's a good gig. And I did it for other years after that. I was no longer willing to be a plant. It was like invisible theater after that. Yeah, no. Then it's just, you just did one fake overdose. No more. And it was just Tony and Tina's wedding.

Basically, one of them was at Salman Rushdie's house. What? Yes. That's not in the book, but this is on camera. Yes. So what did you pretend to die of at Salman Rushdie's house? I'm not talking about this. I believe at that one we were watching The Shining.

Like two girls at a sleepover watching The Shining. And then we started to get violent. That's all I can say. What the fuck kind of Craigslist ads are you finding that you're ending up playing? I don't know. Pretend to be violent at Salman Rushdie's house during an immerseys. of the shining. But to just

devil's advocate, I got paid the amount that I was getting paid waiting tables all summer saving for textbooks and then going and then I would get that, but I was taking my boyfriend out to dinner so I don't know. Hey, no one judging you here were just more curious about what was

going on. Like, is this pre-fadwa, post-fatwa? I like that. This does sort of sounds like conspiracy. Because you got a guy freaking out going through, he's going to, he's He's like truly drugged out, so it's all real to him. He didn't like the joke at all. Sounds like it was slightly traumatized into you. And then at the end, you were like, well, same time next week.

That's fair. I got bills to pay. I relate to that. And I think we've delved into some rich veins tonight so far, but that's only just begun because it is time for the, The egg of truth. Always forget how long the egg of truth intro is. Here's how it works.

This is the egg of truth. It's filled with questions that we're going to answer. Oh, and I want to make sure that given just how much we've learned, I'm very interested in this book. I've heard. The sane one. Anna Conkel, you're on the front. You're the sane one.

That's you? I think I am as a kid. But yeah, that was me. Wow. I was a child. One before the weird party. That's so exciting. Egg of truth, here's how works.

I'm going to pull a card, and we're just going to answer the question. Enough time has passed, you can admit it now. Who was your middle school crush? Ron, you want to go first? Oh, okay, sure. Myra Monkhouse from Family Matters, because he was always a fool going after Laura who didn't care for him or show him any type of play,

but Myra was a beautiful, intelligent, and it was like push him into the locker to try to make out with him. And I was like, Steve Urkel, what are you doing? So Mara Monkhouse. Who was your middle school crush? Well, I'm going to stay in the entertainment angle as well. I think that's brilliant.

Smart. Smart. Very fast. There was a show that I watched after school, and it was about a high school that was on a cruise boat, and it was a Canadian high school show, and Ryan Gosling was on it. And I remember being like, who was that?

Who did I have a crush on in middle school? You know what? Saved by the Bell. Zach Slater on Saved by the Bell should be mine because I would see an episode of Saved by the Bell and then without no one, I think this is the first time I may be, I may have said it on this show before,

but other than that, I've never talked about it. But I used to see what Zach Slater was wearing on Saved by the Bell. And I wouldn't tell my mother that we were going to the mall to recreate Zach Morris's look, but I would just go through the stores trying to put together what Zach Morris was wearing. But of course, it would be like, you know, I get why in a TV show a flannel shirt over a bright yellow tea is going to look kind of like punchy and cool.

But I'm like... And muted. Right. And yes, but I am a like just soft pudgy 13-year-old that just I just look like somebody threw a blanket over a minion. Let's do another. What's one thing, oh, what's one thing your parents did that you will do with your. your own kids. That's a good question.

I value the thing that I made fun of my mom all the time for and felt embarrassed by was like she was an RN nurse but she was also a holistic nurse and did Reiki and therapeutic touch, energy work, crystals, meditation, incense. She was also incredibly stressed out so I don't know how they all. A lot of stressed out people need the crystals like myself. I'm just learning. I didn't notice about you. We could be friends.

I like you, and now your pantsuit make a lot of sense. So now I have reverence for that part of her. And I also, I don't know, living in L.A. And there's so much that seems not weird enough sometimes that when my mom's around and she's being Nana and she's saying her interesting views on life, I'm like, keep telling her daughter that, like, I'm just like, I value it in a way

that I didn't appreciate it when I was younger. So, A, scientific nonsense. All right, Ron. Depends how you look at it. I'm sorry. It's fine. What's something you would like to carry forth from growing up? Probably beating them.

How so? Stop it. No. My mom was, I grew up in Southside of Chicago, not necessarily the nicest area. One thing my mom always did was provide a lot of art and a lot of knowledge. She would always take us to the museums and living in a lot of. Chicago, yeah, I was like access to free museums and we'd go to, I had to taste of Chicago or the Chicago Jazz Festival.

So at like three, four, five years old, I'd already seen like BB King, Muddy Waters, I'd seen all these like tremendous acts that meant nothing to me at the time, but now is a source of pride and I think subconsciously influenced me into getting into entertainment or if anything just showed me that the world was bigger than my six blocks that I was living in Chicago, and I think that's something I want to instill in my kids as well. That's really nice. That's really nice.

What about you? That's such an important question. I think you've got to take a picture sitting on a pumpkin once a year. You do. I agree with that. I think that's important. You've got to get that pumpkin picture.

I've not done that, ever. There's no year you can't start. Sitting on a pumpkin. Every year you're alive, take a picture of yourself sitting on a pumpkin. You do this? Not the pumpkin, exactly, but.

a gourd of some type Really? Last one, last question You can fly anywhere you want But when you get there You have to take a shit within two minutes Wait, what's the question? You can fly anywhere you want

But when you get there You have to shit within two minutes Do you take the deal? Sure There's a bathroom's everywhere It happens to me every day of my life I get somewhere and then I have to shit And I do it, no?

Anybody else? That's right. Okay. Yeah, what changed? Catch Ron live. Go to runvodges.com and pre-order the sane one now. We'll be right back. Love to leave. It is brought to you by blinds.com. There's a version of your home you haven't lived in yet where the light behaves,

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And then we got blinds.com, these shades that come down, we use a button to bring them down. Game changing, because you can have some of the windows open and you can see out the window, and then we have the ones behind our desk now. It's fantastic.

Customized right for our office. They came in. We stepped out of our office for a few hours. Next thing you know, Bing, bang, boom, shade. Right now, Blinds.com is giving our listeners an exclusive $50 off. When you spend $500 or more,

just use code love at a checkout, limited time offer. Rules and Restrations apply. See blinds.com for details. And we're back. It's been another perfect show, or was it? Let's find out with our closing segment, second thoughts. Here's how it works.

I have a card here with what the producers believe are the things I should regret from tonight's very show for a second thought spent too long making everyone imagine anti-trans toy story another regret asking Ron who is not a doctor to diagnose me with autism

don't regret that I'm good at it I did say to Ron there's a way in which you're such a challenge. I noticed that one. I did pick up on that one, but I just let it slide by.

And I want to just say one thing that I don't have a second thought about, which is, I want to thank the team that helped put this new version of the show together. It is a Herculean task to turn a podcast into what you're seeing in this studio.

So I'm not going to say people specifically because so many people worked on He doesn't know your names. And the first name is... You've ruined my moment of expressing gratitude. This is how I'm difficult. I didn't say, you said difficult. You said difficult.

Oh, challenging. I said, a challenge. I said, there are ways in which you are a challenge. You know what I could, you know what I would have said instead with the word I was searching for is there's ways in which you're a puzzle. That's how I see you. RONFUNCHUSH. Don't you see him as a puzzle? I like that idea.

Thank you for not following blindly. Well, we haven't spent enough time together to know. But this set is amazing. And who worked on it? So many wonderful people that are all around us. But the point I wanted to make about second thoughts is we just decided to do this. And it was very difficult to do this. lot of reasons, especially in a creative endeavor, if you are in a creative endeavor, you will find

that there are many people along the way who view it as their job to be the one who wisely says why things won't work. And of course, most things don't work in entertainment or in life. And so it is sort of cheap and easy to be the person that always explains why we shouldn't do something or you can't do something. And what's amazing about Cricket Media and all the people that work at Cricket Media is all along the way, every single person involved in making this show, from the people working on the cameras to the edit all the way up to the C.O. over a company, nobody said the reason they could. We couldn't do it. They were all trying to figure out the reason that we could, and that is why we got to, that's part of what makes what we do at

Crooked so awesome because we're trying to build something positive and helpful, even if it's a cynical time, but also I just want to thank the team that helped make this possible because you can, in this life, just do stuff, like try to find a studio and make a show like this, but I want to do thank one person by name. I believe he goes by Nick. I know it's Nick. It's Nick Bernstein. Today happens to be his last day. And the only reason this show happened the way that it did is because Nick just confidently asserted that we could do this.

And that was absurd, but he did it. And I'm very grateful to Nick for being able to put this incredible thing together. And I'm grateful to all of you for being part of this first live audience of this show. And I'm grateful to our guest, Ron Funcius, and Anna Conkel. Thank you to Interwoven Studios and everybody at Interloven Studios. And thank you all for being here.

There are 184 days until the midterms. Have a great night. And have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other ones for original content, community events, and more. You can also find Love It or Leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content.

And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, Consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free, Love It or Leave It and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber-exclusive pods, and more. Sign up at crooked.com slash friends. Love it or Leave It is a crooked media production. It's written and produced by me, John Lovett. Kendra James is our executive producer.

Bill McGrath is our producer. Howley Keeper is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, is our senior staff writer, and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Suba Argoal are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor. Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure, Sure. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Kudurna Reeves, for creating and running all of our visuals,

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