Lovett or Leave It - Live, Laugh, Hang Mike Pence

Episode Date: February 12, 2022

Cupid aims his wise and mighty arrow at the backyard this week, where we regale True Story’s Ed Helms with true tales of courtship gone wrong. Keep It’s own Louis Virtel goes toe-to-toe (dare we say cheek-to-cheek) with fellow Oscar trivia dynamo Michael Lasker for a round of romantic Oscars trivia. Atsuko Okatsuko has all the tips and tricks you need to rekindle the spark... with Democrats. And who doesn’t love a rant wheel, where we cover it all from budget airline mergers to a scandal at the heart of Olympic figure skating that not enough people are talking about (note: this rant discusses eating disorders).For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.  

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else, coming to you live from Beijing. We're still in my backyard. We've got a great Valentine's Day show for you. Ed Helms is here to bear witness to your romantic distress. Louis Vertel and Michael Lasker are our resident Oscar savants for a round of Oscar trivia of love. Right? Lukewarm, but it'll be great. And we...

Otsko Okotska is here to show you how to get freaky with the Dems before the midterms. And we end with a rant wheel because we love complaining most of all. But first, let's get into it. What a week. In last week's show, we inadvertently called Mike Pence's chief of staff Mark Short, Mike Short, and we'd like to apologize. We really missed the mark with that one. Speaking of our brave... A joke as bad as the first one to apologize for the first one. Speaking of our brave former VP, Trump also apparently told New York Times reporter Jeremy Peters that hang Mike Pence was just an expression. And I don't think they would have ever thought of doing it.

It's an idiom. It doesn't actually rain cats and dogs. It's like, God, it's so hot this weekend I could hang Mike Pence. It's like, God, it's so hot this weekend I could hang Mike Pence. It's like, let's go Brandon. It's a cute little slang for kill the vice president. I'm so hungry I could hang Mike Pence. The National Archive found what appears to be classified information in the 15 boxes of documents disgraced former President Donald Trump illegally took with him to Mar-a-Lago after he left office and which returned only last week.

Now, in defense of Trump, moving is the worst. You always end at a point where you're just dumping things into random boxes when you're down to the wire, and you know Trump didn't get his security deposit back after what he did to that jacuzzi. As a reminder, Trump's main criticism of Hillary Clinton involved the mishandling of classified information. Personally, I don't remember any of that. I had that eternal sunshine out of my head. The best $200 I've ever spent.

James Comey is just a tall prosecutor I've never heard of. The document retention issues did not begin when he left office. According to Maggie Haberman's new book, Confidence Man, White House staffers regularly found toilets clogged with printed paper, apparently flushed by the former president. If you had to unclog Trump's toilet and you saw a bunch of printed paper come up, how fucking relieved would you be? paper come up, how fucking relieved would you be? On OAN, which is soon to be O-V-E-R, Marjorie Taylor Greene referred to Nancy Pelosi's supposed shock troops in her indictment of the federal government. Not only do we have the D.C. jail, which is the D.C. gulag, but now we have

Nancy Pelosi's gazpacho police spying on members of Congress. Gazpacho police. Perfect. No notes. Excellent. Coming to CBS midseason, gazpacho police. Justice is a dish best served cold. California plans to lift the state's mask mandate for vaccinated people in indoor public spaces on February 15th, according to Governor Gavin Newsom.

However, Los Angeles will not be lifting its mandate until hopefully April. Shout out to every fancy person in L.A. who said they had Omicron so they could have a week to recover from some light face work and are counting on the mask to cover their chin for the last few days of swelling. Barbara Ferrer has your back. Yeah, I'll be out. I have Omicron. You look so well-rested since Omicron. The Joe Rogan experience has removed 113 episodes from Spotify due to misinformation and racial slurs. The episodes will still be available to those

subscribed to their premium tier, Spotify Plus, the N-word. On Tuesday, the internet reeled as Lady Gaga failed to receive the Oscar nom for her role in House of Gucci. Lady Gaga was so upset by the snub that she reportedly ate a whole pizza pie. Don't Look Up received four Oscar nominations, including Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Film Editing, and Best Original Score. I've been meaning to rewatch it ever since I learned that it was an allegory.

People say that Hollywood is grading the film on a curve because of the message on climate, but don't discount the power of waking up to Greta Thunberg hovering over you with a picture of your dog in an unfamiliar place in one hand and your Oscar ballot in the other. So she's threatening your dog, because in this, somehow it helps if don't look up wins.

Pete Davidson called Kim Kardashian his girlfriend for the first time while chatting with people about his partnership with Hellman's Mayo. Why even do anything else? There's something we were going to say. Oh, he's already fucking Kewpie Mayo, you know, like he's already moved on to a new Mayo. But I think the setup is better. So leave everything.

Just leave all this in. In other slimy guy news, Simon Leviev, the Tinder swindler from the Netflix docuseries, has been banned from Match.com, Hinge, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish, among others. But due to the fact that he has DJ'd, legally speaking, he's required to

stay on Raya. That killed in Los Angeles. For people that aren't from here, that crushed here. Hyundai and Kia are instructing the owners of 500,000 cars to park outside as their vehicle's anti-lock brake computer

module can short circuit and burst into flames even while the car is not on this is due to their new controversial gender reveal feature it's fine the department of homeland security sent a bulletin to u.s law enforcement agencies on thursday warning that a group of american truckers is planning to you know what i'm realizing we're using this teleprompter for the first time and this hand normally is filled with cards, and now it's freaking. Doesn't know what to do.

Doing this show for five years. Don't know what to do with my left hand. Today for the first time. Anyway, the Department of Homeland Security sent a bulletin to U.S. law enforcement agencies warning that a group of American truckers is planning to protest vaccine mandates inspired by the Canadians,

which could start as soon as this weekend in L.A., coinciding with the Super Bowl. A spokesperson for the renegade truckers warned, if our demands are not met, we will see to it that Los Angeles is forever associated with traffic jams. Everybody thinks they're Washington crossing the Delaware. Nobody realizes that they're the guy holding up the drive-thru

because they missed the window to order breakfast. That's all this is. Anyway, Canada, step it up. You're in NATO. Clear the bridge. Like, what are we doing here? And finally, a man with a completely severed spinal cord is now able to walk

due to a spine implant. Spine implant, huh? This is the breakthrough we need in Congress. Political commentary. When we come back, your love lives are a shambles. And we're back. It's almost Valentine's Day 2022. You know what that means. It's almost the day before the day I go to CVS to buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates at a discount. Because Valentine's Day is about love. And I love a bargain. Here to discuss true love and our true stories about it,

please welcome back to the show the co-host of True Story with Ed and Randall, Aunt Peacock, Ed Helms. Hi. Hi, Ed Helms. Hi. Hi, Ed. Thanks for being here. I'm thrilled to be here. It's good to see you. I think of Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve as similar holidays. They're both like a giant birthday for no one.

We all decide we're celebrating. Are you a romantic? I like it. Yeah, I do. I think it's fun. Well, I will say there was a time I remember being when I lived in New York City and I was single. And on Valentine's Day, you get on the subway and all these people had flowers that they were taking to their loved ones. And it was just like so in your face that you were single.

And that always infuriated me. And I wanted to get on the subway with a weed whacker and just take everyone's flowers out. It's very much in your face when you're single. And also it's just like, sorry, you can't go out to dinner tonight. Tonight's only for two. Everything is twice as much money and comes with dessert no matter what. And the dessert will be shaped like a heart. And that's it.

I do like Valentine's Day and I like New Year's Eve because I like any excuse to celebrate, but they kind of are conditional. Like Valentine's Day is more fun if you're in a couple. Or a thruple. Yeah. Which is also part of it. I am really glad that I am currently not having to date during this period of time

where you either die single or live long enough to become some part of a West Elm Caleb situation, either on the giving or the receiving end of a West Elm Caleb. Okay. You know? Yeah. Who wants to post, when you put something on a dating site now, if it's too interesting, it's going to be on TikTok.

You know? That stinks. You're like, here's where I come to be vulnerable, to meet someone perhaps to live with for the rest of my life, where the best thing you can do is be as authentic as possible. Don't fuck up. Yeah. Because then you're on Twitter with it.

Right. The stakes are both very low and very high. So we want to do something today vaguely in the spirit of your new Peacock show, True Story. But can you just first tell us a little bit about it? The show that I am on, on Peacock, I'm super proud of this show and I love it. So Randall Park and I, we sit down with real everyday average folks who have these incredible

stories from their lives. We interview them about the story. They tell us the story. We have a great fun kind of back and forth. Randall and I have never heard the story before. so it's very sort of fresh and fun. And that's sort of the studio portion of the show. Then we go and we round up a bunch of our celebrity pals and shoot giant reenactments, these sort of like cinematic reenactments of the stories and kind of intercut it with the interview. It's sort of like this American life meets Drunk History. But it's very uplifting and warm-hearted and hilarious. That sounds awesome. We're going to try to do something inspired by it that's not uplifting.

No, it's... What we want to do is we have members of the Extended Crooked Verse are here, and they're going to share their true stories. These are brave-hearted lovers from the dating world. So who's up first to share a story? It's Alex.

Oh, hi, Alex. Alex. Let's hear it, Alex. Okay. So what a fun way to overshare. So I was in a relationship for seven years. We were engaged. It was going great until it wasn't.

And then that ended. And so I was like, going to take a break from that for a little while. But then I was like, I got to get back out there. So I started on Tinder. High hopes. And my first date back into the world was actually great. And it was super fun. We it was just a great time I thought everything was great and then the next day he was like that was amazing let's do it again um but I gotta be honest with you I'm married with an eight and a three-year-old at home so um yeah that's that's what happened. And then, like, a couple weeks later, I was at work with a couple of the people that I love so much that I work with. And his wife just decided to reach out and get some more information about that. So, you know, and then he was messaging me trying to,, say like, I don't know what I did with my

life. And I'm trying to like walk him off a cliff and like also try and tell her like, you're man, go get him like he's trash. So you know, so dating in LA. So fun. Wow. Wow. Wait, how did so presumably his wife saw his Tinder account or something? Okay, so here's the thing is that I was out of the game for a long time and I didn't realize that there are like all these different rules. Right. So he was like talking to me on Snapchat, which in hindsight I can understand was a bad sign. And I should have known those messages disappear. There was probably a reason, but I just wasn't thinking about it because I was like, this is just the way things work. But she found us on Snapchat, like, talking.

And he had, like, saved messages and stuff. So then she added me on Snapchat while I was doing an onboarding for someone. So that was super fun. Welcome to Crooked. So somebody was starting that day. Yeah. Well, Alex, I think it's really nice that you put yourself out there. You know?

Guys, give it up for Alex from Crooked. That was good. All right. So now do we do a reenactment? Yeah. We just weep during a meeting. Next up, I think we have Pallavi. I want to say this is not my worst story, but there was already a side chick story.

I'm young and hip and on social media. And that was the majority of like my social life during the pandemic. So I made a lot of friends on Twitter and we were in like these group chats together like just chatting being social and I met someone through that and we had all this stuff in common and at the time I thought he was funny now I hit his guts and we started talking and then we started like it was like a long distance COVID courtship and we found out we had actually met like five years ago because of other things we had in common in our other careers. And it was all very exciting. And then he started pulling away after we got really close.

And I was like, this is weird, but whatever, we can be friends. And then a few months later, I found out he had been sexting people in the group chat that were mutual friends before and after we had gotten intimate with each other. And it was a lot of blocking on social media. And you still see this person at comedy things? No, he's online. He has a big Twitter account. John, you might follow him. I bet I do follow this person. I bet you do, and I'm going to make you block him out. I'll block whoever you want. I don't care. Oh, excellent.

We've got to get him out of our lives. This guy's toxic. Yeah, he is. How did you find out? The first person that I confided in that this was really bothering me because he was acting weird with me after pulling back, they were like, oh, yeah, he sexted me. And then someone else confided in me that he did that. And I was like, wow, OK, if every woman who knows you has interacted with you this way, that's, I think, a red flag.

From his point of view, isn't he kind of just like kind of casting a wide net? You know, he cast it outside of the chats that we're in? Maybe a personal DM. It seems like dating is really fun these days. Isn't it, Pallavi? So fun. Ronan DM'd me on Twitter. What? That's right.

That's right. Nah, it was gross. Jack Dorsey. Yeah, Jack Dorsey. He introduced you guys. In a sense, he did. In a sense, he did. In a sense, he did. He's like a Cupid in a way.

Yeah. Jack Dorsey is like a Cupid, but sometimes the Arrows are about getting people to fall in love, and sometimes it's about them getting them to do a riot together. It's just a wider kind of Cupid. It's like, ah, I've been struck by the QAnon arrow. Now I'm going to destroy my world. Yeah, and a lot of people have probably met at riots and had beautiful relationships. For sure.

That's a really good point, too. It's a lot of adrenaline. It's exciting. Heart is pumping. Let's do a drink after this. Is this the advice you're giving me, is to meet people at riots? It might be a step up.

Get away from your computer, nerd. Get out there. Something that you're doing is not working. Let's try riots. I'm about to break a window in your backyard, John. Get it going.

Let's do it. Let's get something going. Let's feel things. Let's try things. It's like ayahuasca, but for like political violence. Sounds good. Pallavi, everybody.

Oh, Kendra has a story. Hello. This happened my freshman year. I had not been able to date at boarding school. Met a kid immediately. I figured, okay, this is going to be great. Also, he looked like Josh Hartnett. I thought that was a plus. That's cool. He really liked to play Soul Calibur, too. So it was great. The first red flag

was when he tried to buy a caiman from a pet store. A caiman is a small alligator, everyone. Yeah, you can't do that. No, well, you could because the rule in the dorms was that you could have any animal so long as it could hold its breath underwater for over 90 seconds. So, yes, he technically could buy a caiman. What a specific rule. Wait, what kind of rule is that? Yeah, well, it was to prevent people from having

mammals, but they didn't really think it through the whole way. Anyway, so he bought a caiman. That was bad. He tried to keep it in a baby pool, like Clarissa from Clarissa Explains It All. It was not great. I love this guy. You're his dating horror story because so far he sounds fucking

awesome. He's got a caiman hot tub in his dorm room. And he loves video games? I mean, I thought it was great. We used to play DDR together. It was wonderful. But then so we saw each other on and off throughout our freshman year. And our relationship ended when he went on a bender one night and, like, ran off into the woods.

He was on some cocktail of alcohol and drugs and madness. So I woke up one day during spring semester. My roommate was asleep in the twin bed on the other side of the room. And I wake up to him standing over me, shaving his head with a dull razor blade that he had picked up from my dresser. Because he's still in the middle of his bender. So he's just shaving his head casually, blood dripping down his face onto my comforter. This is a...

So my last act as his girlfriend was to take him with another girl into the shared dorm bathroom and finish shaving his head so that he looked normal because he looked insane. And then we sat on the floor in the dorm hallway across from each other. And I said to him, so I think this is done. And he agreed. And then he left school. And the next time I saw him, he had come back and he was attacking someone with a lightsaber in our dance hall area.

Whoa. Okay. So, so many questions. What was the caiman's name? I don't think the caiman was there long enough to have a name because he eventually realized that that was going to be a problem and so he released it into the reservoir, which is bad in Ohio in the winter because a caiman is cold-blooded.

Yeah, that's not going to end well. Yeah. I mean... So, what was the caiman's name? Answer, he killed the caiman. That's very tragic, actually. And upsetting. This is not. Yeah, I guess it was more like in the vein of like, oh, he had two dates at once.

Not fully went like, what's his name? Travis Bickle. Yeah, this is like Colonel Kurt's Apocalypse Now moment. Again, I have to ask, did he have any defense or explanation for the bloody head shaving?

Drugs. Okay. Don't do drugs. Don't do drugs. Yeah. Unless you know what you're doing. Kendra, everybody. Sorry, guys. Yeah. Unless you know what you're doing. Kendra, everybody. Yeah. Great job. Sorry, guys. Wow.

Which one of these, if you had to choose, would you reenact on the show? I mean, the last one, it's exciting. Yeah. It's scary. You know what? That's just a different show. Brian, you've got a story. Last one.

One of the many things we have in common is I, too, was single in New York. And I had just gone through a bad breakup, and the week after that, started kissing boys. And I was like, this is amazing. And so I was like, oh, I could kiss everyone. New York is my oyster. And I was a server at a cocktail bar.

And so I would give out my number like it was candy, and I would text back the people that sent me very well. One Sunday, I was getting ready to set up. I was like zesting. And this guy walks in who's like eight feet tall. And he has like a vest and a chain and a boulder hat. And I was like, I hate him. And he had like a beard down to here.

And he had like an eight-year-old girl. And we weren't open yet. It was like 2 p.m. And he was like, hey, like I was blackout here last night. lost my phone have you seen a phone and i was like is this your daughter like get out um and i was like no i haven't seen a phone and so he was like sorry this one's mom wants to know where she is and i was like so i don't know what is this story no i'm getting there so he left he left he left. And so I start work. It was a Sunday, and this was when Game of Thrones was on air.

There's supposed to be a few sentences. And so when everyone would leave the bar to watch Game of Thrones, because everyone would leave the bar to watch Game of Thrones, I would get wasted every Sunday. And then everyone would come back, and I would be drunk. And then this really hot group walked in of four people, two guys, two girls. And I was like, oh, this is amazing, because I don't care. So I started talking to them. I started flirting with them. And then this evil man walks back in girls and i was like oh this is amazing because i don't care so like i started talking to them i started flirting with them and then this evil man

walks back in and he was like found my phone and i was like get out and he then sits down with this like hot group of four and he's like round of japanese whiskey for everybody uh your cheapest one um and i was like we only have one um and so they he starts getting them drunk on japanese whiskey and then i'm already wasted. So everyone leaves. And as I'm cleaning up, there's a phone number on the table. And I was like, oh, it's for me. And so I text this number.

And I was like, hey, did you leave your number for me? And whoever it is, because I don't care, because it's a group of four. And I would kiss any of them. They were like, yeah, you're pretty cute. And so we start texting. And I was like, what are you doing later? So I go to this person's house, because I get their address without confirming who they are and I knock on the door

and this evil man with the bowler hat and the vest opens up and he was like, oh. And I was like, oh. And he was like, I meant it for the girl. And I was like, oh. And he was like, but come on in anyway. And I was like, but I'm a bad decision maker. So I was like, okay.

And so I went in and he was like, we have to be quiet because my daughter is sleeping. I was like, what was your plan? You were going to fuck this girl? And so he's like, can I pour you a glass of Japanese whiskey? The exact kind he was drinking earlier. And I was like, this is weird. And so I like downed as a shot

and then jump out the window like into an Uber because I like cannot see straight at this point and go home. Well, that just had a beginning, middle, and an end. I chuckled a few times. I got scared. And now I'm glad you got out of there. It really was a complete story. You meet someone.

What are they doing here? They go away. There's a mix-up. There's a mix-up. Then there's a question. We actually, I think both of us, didn't know what you were going to do. Yeah.

And I was very worried. Here's what's also kind of exciting was that you thought it was one of the other four hot people. It was like a midnight surprise. Yeah, it was like roulette.

Which one is it going to be? Did you have in your mind a favorite? I did have a favorite, but the next day he did come back to the bar, and he puts his arm around me, and he looks at my boss, the manager of the bar, and he goes, he'll never believe what happened last night. And I was like, ugh. Little button on the story, too. Little tag.

Yeah. Little funny little line to end it for the freeze frame. This guy's a real regular at this place. He's come three days in a row. Wow. That was like an episode of Taxi. You know? Real Taxi vibes

from that story. Specifically. Like one of the kind of poignant ones. Yeah, like kind of, yeah, a little slower one. Brian Semelow, producer, everybody.

I do think we have to make you decide which of these stories you would actually have celebrities reenact. Would it be Alex just kind of sweetly putting her heart out there and having a man step on it? And then the wife coming back to say things?

Would it be Pallavi basically having somebody sexting everyone she texts? Would it be Kendra who did a kind of one flew over the cuckoo's nest kind of thing? Or Brian who went through a phase where there was no bottom? I think Kendra's is going to be the most sort of exciting. He later burned down an asylum. Oh my. You dated the Joker.

Well, that one had a button too. Yeah. And then he later burned down an asylum. Were there people in it? I mean, what happened? No, it was only his area. Oh my gosh. And then he led the cops on a manhunt with helicopters involved.

For those, he apparently also had one kind of a high speed chase. Well, look, I think Kendra, you know, I think you learned a lot from that experience. And probably good that that was not the person you kind of stayed with, you know, long-term. Kind of feels a bit erratic based on what we've heard. You're kind of equivocating. You're like, kind of good that you didn't wind up in that situation. No, it's really good. no, it's really good. No, it's really good.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's a really, really good. It's a really good that you're not still with that person. Yeah, we think it's really good. It wasn't close. The way I said it, you're right. The way I said it was equivocal.

I made it uncertain. Thank you so much, Ed, for being here. True Story is out now on Peacock. Ed's going to stick around for The Rant Wheel. But when we come back, Heartbreak feels good at an AMC theater. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It

coming up. And we're back. On Tuesday, we had a little sweet pre-Valentine's Day treat. The 2022 Oscar nominations dropped. Unless you're a fan of Lady Gaga, in which case Tuesday was the apocalypse. Joining us now, because let's face it, most of us learn about what romantic relationships are supposed to be for movies.

Plus, we already had them booked. It's Keep It Stone, Louis Vertel, and Oscar savant and manager of the stars, Michael Lasker. Welcome to you both. Thank you both for being here. You know what the vibe back here is? Rachel getting married. Where's the TV on the radio guy? Tough hit from Lewis to kick us off.

I just want to say, I want to just be up front. The first time I met Lewis, who I'm in awe of always, was in this backyard. Oh, correct. And I asked you, like, I decided to test you on, like, 1963 Best Supporting Actress nominees. Oh, right. Margaret Rutherford, the VIPs.

And you said them so fast, my head spun, like, off of my body. I thought I knew a lot, and I realized that, you know, there's a student, there's a teacher. Right, yes. We'll see how tonight goes. And, Michael, you've been my manager for a long time. Yes. Especially for many, many years in which I have produced no writing.

That you've been kind of more on a volunteer basis for most of my career. Well, hold on. In defense of you, after you created the acclaimed sitcom on NBC, 1600. Called Classic. You have become like an international podcasting sensation. Yeah, the second I stopped writing, my life got much, much better. Yeah, exactly.

Why would you want to write? Writing is terrible. You're famous now? Should I leave? Wait, so first of all, what did you think of the nominations? What was your overall reaction?

I mean, I hate to say it. My hopes were hanging on Lady Gaga not getting a nomination. I just am not a fan of the movie. I didn't want to talk about it for another month and a half. And then it occurred to me that day

that Ridley Scott rhymes with diddly squat. And so I felt like a variety writer from the 40s. I wanted to like write that headline. And I was upset that Ruth Nega from Passing, that was my favorite performance of the year, that didn't get nominated. But lots of really good ones did. I think Best Actress is like across the board formidable.

So I'm really happy about that. Any other snubs? Any other snubs that got your goat? You know what? I kind of thought Carole King was going to get a nomination for her song from the Aretha Franklin movie, Respect, but I'll settle for Beyonce. Any snubs?

Very impressive. I do think it was a snub that Denis Villeneuve was not a Best Director. That was kind of crazy. What I was going to say, and I agree, the nominations were fine. I want to bring something up that, to me, to an Oscar aficionado, I need your opinion, Lewis. I, and I fight with my Oscar nerd friends

about this all the time, I am not a fan of the 10 Best Picture nominees. I hate it. I think it is terrible, and I'm going to sound like an elitist, but the Oscars, it's cool that there's only five. It's cool that it's hard to be nominated for an Oscar. And ever since they did it, and it's weird because they did it for commercial

reasons. They wanted to get more ratings which didn't work and now they have to fund this museum on Wilshire that I have not been to because I have a baby and I had COVID. Anyways, I hate the 10 Best Picture nominee thing because I think what it does is it sucks the air

out of the kind of macro and micro race at the same time because it's like, well, they're going to pick 10 movies. And so I'm looking at it and like there's movies, not to knock people's movies, I'm like, that's just not a Best Picture nominee. And also it's just when there are five nominees, it really feels like any of them could have a shot. Whereas I look at 10 nominees now and I'm like,

you can tell what got eighth, you know, or ninth, or whatever. It's like, it's not going to happen for you, Coda. I say that affectionately. I enjoy Coda. Directed by a Mosaic client, I'm going to get in a lot of trouble because of this. No more manager talk, please. Wow. I would describe that as aggressive. Vera.

Yes, every year there's five movies that should be nominated for Best Picture, but there's sometimes seven, there's sometimes six, there's sometimes eight. There's never ten. That's right. There's never ten. That's 100% right. And they said when they initially did the rule in 2009 that they had gone back,

you know, the people who could look at it and looked at the numbers, and they partially did it because they claimed that there were, like, tons of movies that were, like, right there at number six, right there at number seven. But I would argue that's what's cool about it. Right, exactly. That's what gives it stakes. Yeah, I mean, I'm thinking back to really like nerd out. I mean, it's like you could go to like, I don't know,

like 1994, which the five best picture nominees, I know you know, were Pulp Fiction, Shawshank Redemption, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Quiz Show, and Forrest Gump, which was the eventual winner. But I'm sure there was like a great movie also in 1994 that maybe should have been nominated for Best Picture that wasn't. Maybe Krzysztof Kisielski's Red. I don't know.

But, you know, the point being is that... That's how people are obsessed with that year, and it's not a very female-dominated lineup, and I think that's why it's okay to call that year great anyway. Let's get to the trivia. All right, you're both our experts. We are going to square off on a round of Academy Awards trivia, but it's Valentine's Day edition.

Are you ready? Yes. Can you name, and whoever knows it, you've got to shout it out. We're not alternating. Can you name the two couples that have been nominated for acting awards this year? Extra points if you can name the movies they were nominated for. Plemons and Dunst and Cruise and Bardem. And yes, of course, I can

name the movies. I mean, I know the answer, but he's just too good. He's too bad. Parallel Mothers being the Ricardos and Power of the Dog. Yep. All right. You know what? We will alternate because otherwise Michael's just going to sit here like a lump on a log.

He's incredible. You know what? You're like the color purple. You're going to lose 11 times in a row and you're going to like it. Look at some sports. What's that called? Trash talk. You don't understand.

It's like I'm next to Michael Jordan right now. The members of this acting couple were both nominated for Oscars ahead of their 1940 wedding, but only the best actress statue made it to their mantle. Can you name both performers? Laurence Olivier and Vivian Leigh. Correct. Yeah. Wow. He. Yeah. Wow.

He's amazing. And then he later married Joan Plowright, who was nominated for Enchanted April in 1992. She's still with us. Incredible. Alright, Michael. Now you go. I guess. Name this other Oscar couple that were both nominated for the same 1967 Mike Nichols movie, which also landed the actress

half of the couple's win. Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. Because he's coming to dinner. No, that's not Mike Nichols. Oh, I'm sorry. You say Mike Nichols. I'm sorry, The Graduate. This has to be cut.

It's 1966 Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. That's correct. 1967 is the ceremony year. Hold on. I wanted to bring this up, and I'm glad this happened. Yeah. Oh, I clarify this all the time. I've. I wanted to bring this up, and I'm glad this happened. Yeah. Oh, I clarify this all the time. I've been fighting with people about this for years.

If you say the year, it has to be the year the movie came out, not the award. Right, Lewis? Sure. That's what confused me. I apologize. I'm very embarrassed. So when people, like this year, if you were going to say,

who won the Oscar in 2021, you got to say 2021. Correct. You don't say 2022 just because the show is in a month. So I was a little confused, but I apologize. I wasn't. Don't worry. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, who were married... Mr. and Mrs. Bridge, 1990. Go ahead. I knew that. They were married from 1958

to 2008 when Paul Newman died. They were both nominated in 1969 for what film? Rachel Rachel. Correct. I did know that. Also Estelle Pars both nominated in 1969 for what film? Rachel Rachel. Correct. I did know that. Also Estelle Parsons nominated in supporting and she had won for Bonnie and Clyde the previous year. Michael.

Yes. That was embarrassing. I want to redeem myself so badly. The members of this couple were both nominated in 1975 for A Woman Under the Influence. Who was the woman? Who was the influence? Which for the sake of the question

is what we were calling the director. John Cassavetes and Jenna Rollins. Got it. He got it. Can I say something about his movies? Nowadays, people are huge fans of John Cassavetes. I truly cannot sit... They're so uncomfortable, I can never look. Have you ever seen the movie Faces?

Even that movie, where she's a brilliant actress. It's so uncomfortable, and your lives are such shit. I can't handle that. Here's the thing. Ronan and I have a kind of bargain, which is one for him and three for me. Because mostly what I want to watch is something in the 90s. Morgan Freeman is there and Asteroid is there.

Then he's like, can we watch The Umbrellas of Chambourne? Is that what it is? Cherbourg. Cherbourg. And I'm like, I don't want to. That's cute. You probably would end up liking it, actually. A lot of reading.

Yeah. Which Coen brother is Francis McDormand married to, and which film were they both nominated for? Bonus points if you can tell which of the two won. I actually mess this up all the time, but I believe it's Joel Coen. Yeah, it's Joel. And maybe they were both nominated for? Hold on.

You know this. Come on, Lewis. Fargo. Correct. Okay, sorry. It seemed like you And maybe they were both nominated for Hold Up. Oh, you know this. Come on, Lewis. Fargo. Correct. Okay, sorry. It seemed like you were tricking me. Anyway, go ahead.

All these questions feel like tricks to me, so there's no other layer. Michael. Yes. Keeping the trend of nominated couples winning actresses,

name the Danish girl star and the Steve Jobs lead that both got the nod in 2016. Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander. Correct. Veryander. Correct. Very good.

Lewis. This angelic romance, nominated for Best Picture in 1946, was remade decades later, starring Oscar winner Denzel Washington. Brief Encounter? No. Can I try to answer it? I would love that. The remake, The Preacher's Wife.

Oh, I know The Bishop's Wife. Yes, right. That was a team. That was a team doing good work together. That was exciting. I was going to say, he was in Brief Encounter. I can't picture it. Directed by David Lean.

I know stuff. Michael. Yes. Which now exes were nominated the same year for the 1995 film Dead Man Walking? Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. Susan Sarandon won Best Actress. And he's the rare Oscar-winning actor who's directed a Best Actress-winning performance. I think that's great. Well, the other thing, too, just so you know, Tim Robbins. Susan Sarandon won Best Actress. And he's the rare Oscar-winning actor who's directed a Best Actress-winning performance. I think that's correct.

Well, the other thing, too, just so you know, Tim Robbins won his Oscar for Mystic River in 2003, Best Supporting Actor. Sean Penn won the Best Lead Actor Oscar, and that was the first time, I don't know the exact number, in like 70 years,

that two men won Oscars from the same movie. It's happened since then. But when it happened for Mystic River, it had not happened in like decades. Somebody told me Tim Robbins is also the tallest Oscar winner. He is very tall. He's like 6'5 or something.

Anyway. Either of you get it, you shout it out. What 1934 romantic comedy best picture winner? It happened one night. Yeah. Judges, was that at the same time? Was that at the same time? I answered that like I was MacGruber,

just trying to finish his sentence. But I did know that. Clock cable. What 1960 rom-com best picture... Apartment. I knew that, too. Billy Waters is my favorite director. What 1942 best picture-winning romantic classic...

Casablanca. He's very good with the 1940s. Thank you, Louis Vertel. And at any moment, Michael Lasker will be joining us. Thank you both. That was really great. That was awesome. This week on Keep It, Ira Lewis and Aida discuss Oscar nominations

and whether or not Lady Gaga was snubbed, how Black History Month has already gone terribly awry, Kanye and Kim's messy divorce, and more. Plus, Nicole Byer joins to talk about being the busiest woman in show business and pandemic routines. We've already abandoned new episodes of Keep It. Drop every Wednesday. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

When we come back, Democrats are pretty vanilla in the chamber. And we're back. One more note, love it or leave it, live or else, we are going on tour. Join me in a lineup of incredibly funny people in cities like Chicago, Dallas, Boston, D.C., and more. Tickets are available right now. San Francisco is sold out.

D.C. is almost sold out. A bunch of others are getting close, so jump in and get those tickets. And we're going to announce some pretty incredible Chicago guests soon. That's all I'm saying. We've got a great lineup for Chicago. Any day now, you're going to find out. And you wish you had already bought the tickets. Love It or Leave It is also returning to live shows in LA

at Dynasty Typewriter in Koreatown starting March 10th. For tickets and more information on all of this, go to crooked.com slash events. As anyone who's been in a long-term relationship can tell you, it can be hard to keep the spark alive after all these years. Maybe you're in a rut. Maybe they've accidentally walked in on you on the toilet eating a Doritos loco taco.

Or maybe you thought you shared the same values, but you saw them hold the president's agenda hostage to a confused and foggy rationale around deficits and bipartisanship. That's right. I'm talking about our relationship with the Democratic Party. And none of those other things were real examples. We're fine. I was not eating a taco on the commode. The point is, I don't know about you, but I think we all could use some tips and tricks to spice up our relationship with the Democratic Party.

Here to lend insights, her wisdom, her jokes to the question of how we can do that with Joe and the gang in 2022. Please welcome the hilarious comedian, Otsuko Katsuka. Welcome. Thanks for being here. Hi, John. Thank you for having me. It's good to see you. It's good to see you too. That intro, I just realized

what I'm here for. I'm here to spice things up. I'm the horny section. That's what this segment's about. If it's possible to get hornier than some of our previous segments. No, yeah, there were some hot moments. When it got like, you know, when I was listening to everyone's horror stories, I was like, oh my God, the adrenaline, like you said.

Yeah, that kicked in. Sometimes that kicks in and that can really spice things up later on. Later on. Keep it in the back of your mind. Your producers tell you, they said, get Atsuko. Oh, you need advice on spicing things up later on. Anyway. Keep it in the back of your mind. Your producers tell you, they said, get Atsuko. Oh, you need advice on spicing things up.

Get Atsuko. Yeah, that's what everybody said. All over town. Everywhere we asked. Yeah. Only one name came back. Really? Yeah.

Everyone's, you know. That's it. They've talked to my former lovers. They know. They know. From talking to your former lovers. From the canvassing they've done of your former lovers. Everyone reached out. They said, this is funny. Yeah. That we know. They know from talking to your former lovers, from the canvassing they've done of your former lovers. Everyone reached out and said,

this is funny, yeah, that we know. I'm so flattered. But wait until you hear about the spark. Right, right, right. Which is what we're here to discuss. Yeah, let's do it. Oh, I have a question for you. Yeah.

You have a bit about how marriage is the most childish thing you can do. Oh. What do you mean? Oh, I think that marriage is very childlike. People think I'm mature because I'm married, you know? But I I think that marriage is very childlike. People think I'm mature because I'm married, you know. But I would argue that getting married is childlike because married people, you know, they say things like, I found my best friend.

You know, that's very childlike. Single people don't talk like that. They don't say that. You know, everything we own, split it in half. That's a very childlike mentality, you know, to get married. That's what kids do. Yeah, exactly. Single people, they're the real adults. That makes a very childlike mentality, you know, to get married. That's what kids do. Yeah, exactly. Single people, they're the real adults.

That makes a ton of sense. You know? So if Reddit's Am I the Asshole is any indication, relationships take work. And while those questions are fake, we're going to field some very, very, very real questions about how to spice things up politically with the Democratic Party, who, again, we voted for and genuinely want to succeed because we have no choice. Are you ready? Yeah. See, this is where you went wrong. want to succeed because we have no choice. Are you ready? Yeah.

See, this is where you went wrong. You already made it so not horny. Like, how do we spice things up with the Democratic Party? Yeah, that's already like, uh-oh, you know. Snooze. Right. But okay. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, yeah. No, no, but I get it. What are we supposed to do? Yeah, we've got to try. We've got to try. We've still got to try. We've got to try. We've still got to try. We've got to try. All right.

I'm ready. Let's hear our first call. Okay. It's a love line style. Hi, Love It. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I live in Arizona, and I've been seeing, listening to, and voting for this senator for a while now. Pretty much as soon as things got started, though, I got the feeling that she just isn't that concerned

about my needs i know that this isn't right but i actually went through her 2021 fec filings when she was in the bathroom i was standing outside of it trying to ask her about social spending and i saw that she took donations from fox pack the donation arm of Fox News' parent company. Not to mention some seriously conservative billionaires. I feel so embarrassed. I've been cucked by Ken Langone. What should I do? So it's a tough question.

What do you do? And you're telling me, so breaking up is not an option in any of this advice? It can be. Yeah. For this one, it can be. For some of them, it does work. So here's what I would say in this case. We're not going to have the chance to break up with this person till 2024.

Because we started dating in 2018. Sure, sure, sure. And it just doesn't feel right to end it until exactly six years. Because that's just the rules we made uh when when men did not wear pants uh or uh have like soap you know when they were all just kind of angry and racist and hot and drinking fetid water yeah and we like what do they think yeah yeah let's do what they want right the group of people who only let one kind of person in the room and have no teeth. That's who we get all of our advice from.

Right, right. And you're stuck in it till the next year. Yeah, for six years. So I think, I mean, I kind of think this is a great opportunity for kind of maybe a monogamish situation. You know what I mean? Yeah. As long as you're going to, yeah, you'll be seeing this person, this Arizona person for at least two more years. But in the meantime, maybe start looking for some Democrats that you do feel more excited about.

The tricky part is other Democrats, they're busy in their relationships too. And sometimes they live in a different state. And that's just how representing a state works, right? For sure. They may not want to see you. I'm kind of thinking like a role play

situation. You know when sometimes not in your current relationship, not in my current relationship, but sometimes when you're having sex with your person, you picture someone else. Yeah, I've heard of that. Maybe do that. Yeah, that's a good idea. While the person's talking, picture it's like AOC. And if they're saying wild things or doing, you know, taking money from Fox pack or whatever, you can just pretend, oh, it's AOC just being silly. You know,

it's just like, it's so, you know, she's just being silly tonight. That's such good advice. And then you drink and go to bed and you forget. Perfect. That's perfect advice. I hope that's helpful. Hopefully that helps you out there in arizona let's hear another one hey um thanks for taking my question where do i start um so i know my longtime senator has been taking me for granted i am not an idiot john i mean i'm always taking out the recycling but he never takes the time to pass a legislative framework that will benefit me or the nearly two million other west virginia. But the truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared I won't find anyone better out there. Let's say I decided to leave him and it's not like I'll find anyone better. I'll end up with someone who's like much worse. So how do

I make this work? I feel like he has all the power in the relationship and I just want him to meet me like a third of the way, like not even halfway. He acts like he could leave altogether. Also, he lives on a houseboat, and I'm constantly puking. Any insight you have into this would be wonderful. Thanks. Wow, what I appreciate about that one is there's real character there.

There's real character work to that performance, I thought, of their feelings. Yeah, for sure, for sure. This is a tough one. Yeah, let me guess. Uh, wait six years. Is that what you're going to say? Well, this one's tougher.

This one's even worse. I think, I think the only advice is sorry forever at best. This is the, unfortunately in this case, this is the best that you can do. This is what you get. They never give that advice in dating shows. They're never like, sorry, I know it sucks, stay. This is the best you're going to do. You know, when you doubted that, you were fucking right.

You were right. You were right. In this case, it's a rare thing. It does happen. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. In fact, the one piece of advice I would say is Picture it somewhere else. Picture AOC.

No, I think it's actually In any way, anything you're doing to make him mad Stop doing that Just do whatever he wants Just give in to all of his bullshit in this case Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, I see Unfortunately

Right, just It's very This is very abusive It's not a good situation It's not a good situation at all Yeah, yeah I mean, that's why I'm like role play Yeah, just like get out of there you know like the movie sybil she just had to go to her was no that was that turned out bad yeah i was not good whatever movie where you

you're you go run away into your imagination well and the other thing too is you don't just have to date your senator you can also explore some more local relationships and try to make a difference at the local level maybe you're not gonna be able to get out of this relationship with the person on the houseboat right uh but you don't have to make that the only thing in your life there's other kinds of relationships you can have assemblymen and women that's true that's true yeah uh comptrollers mayor mayors Mayors. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then just like, I don't know, PTA. PTA meetings.

PTA, president. President. Also from PTA to president. That's what it is. These other roles and relationships will give you self-worth. Yeah, that's right. This is really bad advice. It's terrible advice.

Find your self-worth in more other people. That's what you should do. It stinks, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. It's terrible advice. Find yourself worth in more other people. That's what you should do. It stinks, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do another. I still want to fuck Beto O'Rourke. Okay, that's somebody who just wants to fuck Beto O'Rourke.

And I think that's, okay. Yeah. That's fine. That's what you want. But does Beto O'Rourke want to fuck you? I mean, if we're gaslighting these people, which is what it seems like we're doing. How about this? Follow your heart,

go for it. Why not? It's a two-way thing, though. I feel like you're turning real toxic here. I'm not just saying, put your heart out there. You may get rejected. Of course, yeah. In fact, I think you will, because I don't even know... He's just a straight guy that steps on boxes. That's the reality of it. Just assume that you are going to get rejected, I think he will because I don't even know. He's just a straight guy that steps on boxes. That's the reality of it.

Just assume that you are going to get rejected, I think. But go for it. Show up and knock, I guess. Yeah, knock. We think knock. Don't show up. You know what? Leave that crush where it belongs.

It's an embarrassing thing to have it on Twitter for one day in 2020. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Something has been stuck in my head for weeks now, which is... Is this something personal? Sure. Okay, okay.

So I ran into an old friend at a restaurant and I said hello. And he was sitting with some people he knew, I think, probably from something like business school, something that sucks. Wow, a think, probably from something like business school, something that sucks. And anyway, one of them was talking about what Republicans have been saying about what's been going on in the country. And he did this thing. And I'll just do it because it is stuck in my head now ever since. And I think about it all the time. And he went like this. Omicron, Omicron, Trump's train's coming.

Think about it. I think about it all the time. I say to myself, like, while I'm falling asleep, Omicron, Omicron, Trump's train's coming. It's like a fucking nightmare. It's a nightmare sentence. It's chilling, right? It is really chilling.

Yeah, it's because it's like a cheer. I'm glad I could talk about it. I think about it a lot. Lay it all out. Like I said, people open up around me, John. I don't know if you know, but yeah, thank you for sharing that. You're welcome. Thank you, Otsuko Okotsuko.

She is on a new animated series, Fairview, on Comedy Central, and you can catch her on tour tickets at www.atsukolive.com. When we come back, the right wheel. Thanks, John. Thank you. That was great. That was really funny. Thank you. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave. That was great. That was really funny. Thank you.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. This week on The Wheel, we have the Spirit Frontier merger. We have the fact that it's 90 degrees in Los Angeles. Touchscreens on dashboards,

dress codes, the Super Bowl, Yacht Rock, the Olympics, and Ozark. Let's spin the wheel. Grease in Los Angeles, touchscreens on dashboards, dress codes, the Super Bowl, Yacht Rock, the Olympics, and Ozark. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on touchscreens on car dashboards, which I believe Ed suggested. Oh, boy.

Yeah, this one really, really chaps my ass. really, really chaps my ass. So, cars that have big touchscreens built into the dashboard, they're so gratuitously dangerous. Because a touchscreen you have to look at, right?

Old dashboards, you knew where your air conditioning switch was. You knew where the volume knob, you knew where the buttons to tune into your favorite radio stations were. Right, FM? Who's with me? But you could do a lot of that stuff without taking your eyes off the road.

But now I have to go into a menu to change the air conditioning in my car and I have to look at it. It's infuriating and also very hazardous. Definitely. It's infuriating and also very hazardous. Definitely. It is stupid. You have to go into a drawer and pull out a box. There's lots of options you have to go through. And it's clearly like it was this group think in the auto industry where they're like, oh, the touchscreens are like these shiny new objects

that everyone's obsessed with. We'll make the dashboard like an iPhone. But you stare at your iPhone. Right. You don't want to be staring at something other than the road and um the wheel to turn the temperature or the fan up or down rules what a good little device it rules i'm telling you they had cracked automobile cockpit ergonomics right around like 2005 yeah right but that was But that was, as everyone knows, 2005 was the fucking peak. That was the peak, man.

That was it. Come on, man. That was the best year for car dashboards, bro. No, but that was, I do feel like at a certain point, we're just on this deep downward slide towards hazard. I agree. Well, they're trying to get us to, you know, they think we're not going to be behind the wheel pretty soon. You know, they're going to put the car

in charge. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, they'll be like, you don't want to go there. You want to go to the Olive Garden. God damn it, TikTok. How did you know? Your car has its own algorithms. Yeah. Y'all drive nicer cars than me. I'm realizing as you were talking, I was like, what's that feature? What do you mean? I was like, what's that feature? What do you mean?

I was like, they have that? And when you said 2005, I was like, that's my car. I'm at peak level. I drive a car you like. You're nailing it. Yeah. You are nailing it. That's cool.

Yeah. Let's spin it again. Oh. It has landed on dress codes. codes that's me yeah yeah i was like what what did i have to say about dress codes you know what get rid of dress codes get rid of dress codes magic castle get rid of dress codes this sounds really really personal. I'm like, fucking Magic Castle and the dress codes. No, at nightclubs, people are like, oh, you know, I'm sorry. I'm such an eyesore. You know, I'm so sorry.

Because I was trying to get into a nightclub the other day, and they were like, dress code. You know what the dress code was? You just have to look cold. Just look cold. That's how you got in, you know? And it's like, how about just during Omicron, a dress code.

How about anyone who's made it is allowed? You know? Anyone who's made it to see the other side. Oh, we have to look uniformed and hot now too? What if they provide you with the thing? Sometimes fancy restaurants will have

garments that you can sort of gussy yourself up with. Like those old fashioned jacket places where they make you wear a jacket when you were like a kid. Sure. Your grandparents were like, this is a fish place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take it. It's still creepy though. Why we all have to look the same?

You're taking a picture? And during a pandemic, you don't want to be putting on like a community garment. No. Yeah. I want to say about the Magic Castle where you have to wear a suit. It's also such a, if you're one of those creeps who wears a suit all the time, you blend right in and I don't like that

either. Yeah. That's true. You don't know who the suit all the time people. For those listening at home, just to follow up on the rye of it all, Magic Castle is a very specific place. It's a members only magicians club on a hill is a very specific place. It's a members-only magician's club on a hill in Hollywood

that's actually cool to go to, but you have to be invited by a magician that's real. And it's a castle. And it's a fucking castle. And there's a dress code. You gotta wear a suit and tie. Although, tell me if I'm wrong,

I think you can go on Tuesdays with just a collar for the lunch buffet. For real? And I know I'm not wrong. See? Okay. Y'all are richer than me because I don't know the things. I don't know the lunch thing, and I don't know the feature of the car where. Obviously, having magician friends is a province only for fabulously wealthy.

Does anyone know any poor magicians? When you were poor, did you know magicians? Just your uncle who did a trick or two. Yeah, and if you're a magician, you can just make money. You just turn things into money. A poor magician isn't a very good magician. Yeah, exactly.

Now, head over here. I'm on to something. Anything else? No, that's right. I'm on to something. Anything else? No, that's it. Let's spin it again. Kendra is joining because she is our in-house Olympics expert. Minor, like figure skating only. Well, let's hear it.

Okay. It's black history, I'm on scooch. Come on in. Come on in. So I want to talk to you about figure skating, specifically ladies figure skating, specifically Russian Olympic committee figure skating, because they're not allowed to compete under Russia. I want to introduce you to a understated villain of the Olympics. Her name is Eteri Tuberitsy. You've seen her, if you've been watching figure skating at all. She looks like Mother Gothel from Tangled, and she's standing in the kiss and cry,

long, blonde, curly hair staring at you menacingly from behind a mask. She coaches the Russian ladies' figure skating team, and her girls are known as the Quad Squad. You may have seen at the team event, the Russian team took gold, really on the back of a young lady, 15 years old, and I want you to pay

attention to the ages as I am telling them to you. 15 years old, her name is Kamila Valieva. She landed the first quad jump, that's four rotations in the air in Olympic competition. She then landed a second one. She then did a triple axel. And then she tried to do another quad but fell. But it didn't matter because she had already landed the first two quads and the triple axel. So Valiéva was awarded Coach of the Year in July 2020 by the ISU. The ISU is the International Skating Union, and they govern skating worldwide. Now, she was awarded Coach of the Year because of her work with Camila and two other girls who are Camila's teammates, Anna Shcherbakova and Alexander Chuseva. Alexander Chuseva and Shcherbakova are both 17.

Again, pay attention to these ages. All three of them have quads. Now, mostly you're going to see men doing quads in these competitions because quads are really fucking hard to do. you're going to see men doing quads in these competitions because quads are really fucking hard to do. They also tend to backload their programs with jumps because if you backload a program, you get a 10% bonus because you're doing it on tired legs, so you are rewarded. Trusova landed her first quad at 13. She also has coached Evgenia Medvedeva, who is 22 and retired now. She's retired because she has a chronic back injury. She hasn't been at her peak since 2017-2018 season. She also coached Alina Zagitova, 19, retired with a hip injury, also back-loaded jumps in her program. She also coached Yulia Lipitskaya, 23, retired around the age of

17 because she struggled with anorexia. Alina Kacheva moved to train with Eteri when she was 13 years old, and a few months later, she was shown doing a quad toe loop. And then when she was 14, she had to get out of skating because she could no longer jump. Then we're going to move on to the food issues. The jumping technique that Eteri teaches relies heavily on teenage girls weighing nothing. In 2014, Eteri commented that she was glad that Lipsnitskaya could sustain herself on only powdered nutrients, as in like nutrients poured into water and drank. One of her other girls struggles with anorexia. Another girl of hers said she only ate two shrimp every night for dinner and feels full. Zagitova says, yeah, during the Olympic season when we trained, we were not allowed to swallow the water. We just rinsed our mouths and spat it

out. So this woman, again, was awarded coach of the year by the figure skating union that governs global skating. So where have I not heard about any of this? This is like all sourced. This is all an open secret. There are quotes, interviews, witnesses, videos, like you can find this stuff. And the stuff that I'm telling you is only the stuff that I was able to find translated reliably into English. Now, where have I not heard any of this? NBC, the station that is broadcasting the Olympics and like raising these girls up on a pedestal. It sucks. It sucks. If you're following the sport right now, you'll know that the team medal ceremony has been postponed due to quote

unquote legal issues because what is being reported is that Valiéva, who's again 15 years old, tested positive for a drug that they usually prescribe to people with heart disease because it helps pump the blood faster, therefore giving you more stamina so that you can do those backloaded jumps in the program on tired legs. Again, have not heard one word of this from NBC, and this woman was awarded coach of the year. It makes Olympic figure skating, figure skating is like my favorite sport of all time. It makes it really hard to watch because this woman, much like with Olympic gymnastics, is really like harming children, like actively doing bad shit to kids. And it's something that we should all actually like be taking in. All of this stuff is out there. You

can find it. You can like read about it. And like, keep in mind, as reports are coming out, Valleva, the girl accused of doping, she's 15. She did not acquire this drug that none of us have ever heard of before by herself. Basically, what I'll say is two of my favorite short programs from like recent figure skating, they're in the men's program. One is Jason Brown's Sinner Man. I am telling you during Black History Month that you should go watch this little white boy skate to Nina Simone. It is like one of the best things I have ever seen in my fucking life. And then also Adam Rippon's program from 2018, his short program was like this kind of like gay club,

like throbbing sort of like, it was a very good short program. Neither of those shorts had quads and they are some of the best examples of skating that I've seen in recent years. Quads fucking suck. They are ruining the sport. They are not worth like ruining these little girls lives. And as it stands right now,

this woman, Terry is still in Beijing, still in charge of minors and we should be doing something about it. And no one's talking about it. And that's all I wanted to say. Wow. Kendra. Thank you. Can I disagree? No, I'm going to go finish. Kendra, thank you.

Can I disagree? No, I'm kidding. I'm going to go finish doing the show. All right. Thank you, Kendra. Thank you. Thank you for that. Let's spin it again.

Equally disturbing. This week we learned that Spirit Airlines and Frontier Airlines are going to merge into one super nightmare. And yet again, we're in a situation where two very big airlines are going to try to make an argument that they deserve to combine because other giant airlines were also allowed to combine none of those mergers should be allowed and once again we're like sleepwalking into having uh now we have these two budget carriers that like competing against one another yeah it's basically a bungee cord they charge you for oxygen i currently have a 300 spirit credit because trying to get that money back it's like that movie

with Catherine Data Jones with the laser beams Entrapment and I trip the beams and I was like what do I need to tell you to get a refund we are not going to Louisville the bachelor party is off the point is I think we should do something about that Olympic person

and I'm still pretty much focused on that. Yeah, we will. Yeah. We will. I'm going to make a call. All right. Otsuka, Otsuka. She's on it.

Stand-up comedian. I'm going to do something. Well, no, it's cool that it was on Love It or Leave It. A lot of people listen to this. Yeah, people listen to this. Maybe somebody out there knows somebody at NBC. Yeah. Or you do, probably. Sure, a bunch of people. Maybe somebody out there knows somebody at NBC. Yeah. Or you do, probably.

Sure, a bunch of people. But now we know. It's good. Yeah. I'm going to put thumbs down emojis on that coach's Instagram. That's the least I can do.

The least any of us could do. That's the least I can do. Thumbs down. Also, in Spirit Airlines' defense, Oh, right, right, right. You were attempting to use the bereavement clause for your bachelor party and get

a bereavement... I was trying to get a bereavement refund. That wasn't cool. That wasn't cool. You're right. It was wrong of me to do. What can I tell you to put me in a refund today? Nothing. I was going to say, what's the in-flight entertainment you're life-flashing before your eyes? That's my Jay Leno joke.

That's good. I like joke. That's good. I like that. That's good. All right, let's spin it again. Spirit tear. This is equally urgent as Kendra's, you'll see. It's landed on another scourge. Yacht Rock.

Okay, here's the thing. I must be 35 because I have come into loving Yacht Rock. I love a Michael McDonald song. When you listen to Yacht Rock radio, you think, oh, Christopher Cross has three songs. No, he has six. And I know those now. But something bothers me about Yacht Rock, which is it's completely just male dominated, almost like there's no genre if it's not like a man sort of lulling us to sleep on our yacht, you know? And I think this is a good opportunity to vaunt one of my favorite female vocalists, who I think is the definitive yacht rock lady performer who is underrated anyway,

who is Christine McVie from Fleetwood Mac. I feel like there's been a real Gen Z renaissance for Stevie Nicks, which is great. Stevie Nicks is the only woman who's been inducted to the rock and roll hall of fame twice for example but christine mcvee's songwriting and her bluesy voice remain extremely not just underrated but like very moving to me and i think if we started calling her the queen of yacht rock the way we call aretha franklin the queen of soul or something there might be an added cachet to her legacy god what uh we have the Queen of Soul. That's here. And then here's the Queen of Yacht Rock. I love that for us.

I agree. All these songs everywhere. You Make Loving Fun. Say You Love Me. Warm Ways. Yacht Rock. Yes, important stuff. I think they're killing themselves with that name.

And thank you for being vulnerable. No giving out your age and stuff like that. And on that note, I want to thank Louis Atsuko, Ed Helms, and our producer,

Kendra, for joining for the rant. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back! In lieu of a high note this week, please enjoy the dating horror stories from listeners like you. Hi, I love it. I'm calling in with my dating horror story.

My name is Isabella, and I once asked out a guy who I had a massive crush on on a date, and we went to coffee. And then at the end of the date, when we were leaving, I asked him if I was going to see him again. And he saluted me and said he'd get back to me in five to ten business days. Needless to say, there was not another date. I have a dating horror story for Love It or Leave It. In 2007, I met up with a blind date at the Mall of America who showed up wearing a white t-shirt with a hand-drawn Sharpie dragon on it and then suggested we go to Hooters for dinner. He spent the entire meal talking about how much money he made.

And then at the end of the meal, threw down $8 to pay for the menu price for his burger, not including tax tip or the beverages he ordered, and then proceeded to try to get me to go back to his car with him. To this day, I am very grateful I did not do that and got out of there as quickly as possible. The whole date was a disaster. Hello, my name is Karen Brohard. I currently live in San Francisco, California, but I wanted to share my dating horror story. When I was in college, I went to San Diego State University and met a guy from one of my classes for a dinner. When I got there, there was another guy sitting next to us at a different table with a big video camera. And when I asked what was going on,

the guy that I was on a date with said that he was hoping to pitch a new dating show to a network and was hoping he could record our date. I'm not sure why I went through with it, but it proceeded to be the absolute most horrible date possible. He spilled his drink on me. He was incredibly rude. He was commenting on my weight. He pretty much just did and said everything he could to possibly make it the worst date. And then at the end, of course, when they dropped the bill, he said, I don't have any money. So you got this right. The dating show never made it on air. And now he's doing terrible comedy somewhere in LA. Very, very, very terrible story, but at least it makes for a good story. Thank you to everybody who submitted

those stories tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at 213-262-4427. That's our show. Thank you to Ed Helms, Otsuko Okatsuka, Michael Lasker, Louis Fertel, producer Kendra, Ira Madison III, John Milstein, Alex Hernandez, Pallavi Gunalan, and everybody who called in with a romantic high note. There are 269 days until the 2022 midterm elections. Have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our senior producer, and Brian Semel is our producer.

Hallie Keeper is our head writer, and Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor, and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McClain and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. Thank you.