Lovett or Leave It - Lovett Gets Steamrolled: A Best-Of

Episode Date: August 26, 2023

Lovett learns a lesson or two when his guests take the reins in this week’s very special Best-Of episode. Do steamrollers have reins? Well, they do now! Abby McEnany commandeers the anchor’s seat while presenting Gay News. Jake McDorman picks up Lovett and charges into virgin territory. Paula Poundstone’s Lesley Stahl puts Lovett in the hot seat. Luenell riles up the Swifties, and Ms. Pat challenges our audience to answer two truths and a lie, all while Lovett holds on for dear life.All of these segments were recorded before the WGA and SAG strikes were a twinkle in David Zaslav’s craven eye. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Welcome to Love It or Leave It. I'm on vacation edition. As we speak, a poor boy is water falling pina colada into my mouth. Jesus, Brian. And the rest of the team is at home in their crate. They were averse to crate training at first, but I find it really helps with the separation anxiety. But before I dose them with Benadryl and turn off the lights, love it or leave it, crew assembled a little best up for you.

As I've said many times, this show is incredibly popular, and most of my guests feel honored to receive the invite. There is a minority of guests, whoever, who might not be familiar with the show or familiar with me, or they might just not care, and they make that incredibly clear. So here you have it, the best of guests commandeering the show. First up, did she not get the assignment, or did she just choose not to follow it? It's Gay News with Abby McEnany. Everywhere we take this show, we do our part to make that place a little bit gayer.

Luckily, Chicago, you're doing most of the heavy lifting. Joining us now for a special deep dish installment of Gay News, welcome back to the show, Abby McEnany. Hi, Abby. What's up, John? How are you doing? Good to see you again. Oh my God, good to see you too. And also, I just got in trouble for being too loud backstage.

It's like we're back in public again. I got in trouble. Abby, thank you for being here. John, I'm very honored to be here with you tonight. Now, typically with gay news, we say, ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba, gay news together. But because we're in Chicago, please join me in saying, ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-bears.

Are you ready? Um, born ready, motherfucker! Yes! Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-bears. Raven's Home, which is set in Chicago, already, motherfucker! Yes! Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da-bears! The Doppers! Raven's Home, which is set in Chicago, made history with Disney Channel's first trans character, Nikki, played by actress Juliana Joel and introduced in an episode written by trans comedian Nori Reid. Okay, take back all

the stuff I said, Disney. This is good. You're doing solid post-LeFou work. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- Doppers! President Biden last week awarded soccer player Megan Rapinoe the Presidential Medal of Freedom the nation's highest civilian honor

do you know how good you have to be at soccer to make Americans give a fuck the woman should get a cabinet position red stars what do they do? It's Chicago's female soccer team. Okay.

You know, keeping it local. Gotta keep it local. She said receiving the medal was the honor of a lifetime. Or in other words, it was her lifetime goal. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. The Bears. Da! Red Stars.

The Red Stars. NASA's release of spectacular new images from the James Webb Space Telescope has reignited calls to rename the telescope, which currently honors a former NASA administrator involved in the lavender scare of the 1950s when the Truman administration purged LGBTQ employees from the federal government. Oh, what a twisted James Webb we weave. The bears. The Bears.

The Red Stars. I mean, seriously. So I was like, if I'm not about the Lavender Menace, I'm like, that would be the fucking ballerist nickname in the world. So like, I'd be at work. I'm like, somebody would say something. I'd be like, classic Lavender Menace. It never picked up.

It didn't stick. I think it's a great thing to have you be called when you're not there. Like, hey, wait a second. Where's the lavender menace? You know? It would be like, hey, where's that bitch who wants us to call her the lavender menace? It would be more like that.

Hey, you know that one who's hitting us over the head with that nickname we don't want to honor her with? Oh. The red stars. You're doing so good. Oh my gosh. Okay. Woo. Reset. We're not resetting. We're just

powering through. Oh. Yeah. My forte. Okay. The Montana State Library Commission voted against a proposed logo for the Montana State Library over concerns that its prism design looked too much like a pride flag. Yeah, we

wouldn't want to compromise the raw heterosexual energy of the public library. We need to keep the library what it's always been, a place for red-blooded straight men to get together with their bros and quietly read. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-ba-da-bears.

We're calling that now. And quietly read. Nintendo Japan announced that it will provide equal benefits to employees in same-sex unions even though same-sex marriage is banned by Japanese law. All employees will have to hit a block

with their heads in order to receive their coins. Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-da-da-da! Bears. Oh, bears. You will never stop coming on this show until the day I die. Okay, but it's... You can do no wrong to me.

It's going to be the shows that you are, like, out of the country on? Yeah, the guest-hosted ones. They're like, hey, we have a guest host! Enjoy, Guy... My mailman! Enjoy Gay News with Guy Branum.

Okay, what's he like? He seems like a delight. We got to keep going. Okay, yeah, I swear. Read this. Just read the book on your card. Read it out loud. You're a newsreader.

You're an anchor. Let's go. The right-wing Christian group, One Million Moms, nickname in college, nuh-uh. Okay. Sounds great.

See, that's why it's all worth it. That's why we buy-uh. Okay. Sounds great. See, that's why it's all worth it. That's why we buy a ticket. Okay. The right-wing Christian group One Million Moms has called for a boycott of Disney's new Marvel movie Thor Love and Thunder, complaining that it includes many LGBTQ innuendos and

an abundance of euphemisms. Perhaps they'll prefer the sequel I'm working on, Thor. No innuendo, just queer fucking. Okay. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-bear. Da cubs? In a Deadline interview, Jane Lynch insisted that she wasn't deliberately avoiding working with

Lea Michele in Funny Girl. I adore her. She's just going to take this show and make it her own. I'm so glad she's getting the opportunity in real life to do the show and not just on Glee. Said Lynch, clearly reading from an egregiously misspelled blackmail letter. Can't get it up. It's wrong.

It's wrong. It's wrong. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- I got this. I wrote a smiley face. That is so funny. Lynch also received an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series for her role in Hulu's Only Murders in the Building, where she plays Steve Martin's character's stunt double. Martin's short stunt double, Tom Cruise, was oddly overlooked. I'm angry! Democratic nominee for Illinois' 17th congressional district, Eric Sorensen would be the first meteorologist in the U.S. House in nearly 50 years and Illinois' first elected LGBTQ congressperson ever. I mean, it is so awesome.

There's still a lot of places in this country where it can still be very challenging to come out of the closet as a meteorologist. It's raining men, he said in tonight's forecast. Hallelujah. The bears. I'm loving it. Oh, the bears.

I'm loving it it's not McDonald's fuck in May Taco Bell did a series of drag brunches in major cities including Chicago hosted by Quesadilla as part of their Live Moss Pride label it's a nice gesture but they shouldn't have scheduled it for brunch

it obviously should have been drag fourth meal I'm loving it. I'm loving it. Oh, yeah. Okay. Demi Lovato, wearing a wig with bangs, said on Jimmy Kimmel Live that they hit their forehead on a large amethyst crystal and had to get three stitches.

You got to keep your healing crystals separate from your wounding crystals. I've seen this happen too many times. Why do you think I'm still single? Ba-da-da-da-da! Da! White Sox! Earlier this summer, Jussie Smollett sat down for his first interview since his release

from jail on Sway in the Morning, where he claimed he didn't know about the backlash to his stage attack until a full year after it happened. I'm sorry, but I'm starting to think this guy might have trouble telling the truth. That's truth-telling. And finally, Chicago is home to the Leather Archives and Museum, a museum dedicated to leather, kink, fetish, and BDSM history and culture. And a fantastic little cafe, if you can figure out how to get some of that latte around the ball gag.

And that's gay news. I'm a big fan. Thank you so much. Abby McEnany is an American treasure. She's like if extreme weather took corporeal form. Next up, I talk to a hot straight man about virginity. How did I think it would go? Here's Jake McDormand. Our next guest joining us on stage stars in the new peacock show, Mrs. Davis, which features Betty Gilpin as a nun. That was

enough for us to go with our next segment. Welcome to the Sage, Jake McDormand. Hi. Hey. Thanks for being here. Hey, thanks for having me, man. First of all, let me just say something. Yeah. I love Mrs. Davis. I do too. It's so good. Thanks, good. Thank you. And people have tried to tell me what it is. And it's like the Matrix. You can't explain it. You have to see it for yourself. It's really hard, yeah. How would you describe it in one sentence?

How dare you? Yeah, you said that in your opening segment. You were like, impossible to describe. How dare you attack me with such a hard-hitting question right off the bat? You must have done a press tour. I worked on your sentence. One sentence. Oh, God. Let's

see. I'm going to do it in five sentences. Okay. Sure. There's no rules. Okay. Let's see. By the way, they told me to sit as close as humanly possible to you or you'd go apeshit. Is that right? I am as close to you as I can possibly get without breaching the arm.

Thank you. That's just that they warned me. That's it. I love sitting close to people. All right, back on topic. We're talking about Mrs. Davis. Oh, God. So Mrs. Davis, let's see. It takes place in an alternate future

not unlike our own. This is going to be so many sentences, John. I'm so sorry. No, no, you're doing great. Not unlike our own, where a seemingly benevolent algorithm named Mrs. Davis has risen to levels of ubiquity globally for ending world hunger

and solving all the wars and the famine and the climate change and all those things by way of an app. And my character, Wiley, stick with me, is an ex-bull rider and the ex-boyfriend of a nun named Simone, played by the cosmic force of nature that is Betty Gilpin.

Are you guys Betty Gilpin fans? Okay, you should be Betty Gilpin fans. She's fucking amazing. And we decided to take her down because we think she's up to some nefarious doings. John, this is hard. You're a speech writer. You did a job.

I was. Why would you do this to me? I'm sorry. And are you a virgin, Jake? I'm not. Oh, cool. Yeah. It's cool if you were. No, cool. Yeah. It's cool if you were.

No, no, no. By the way, if you are, it's fine to say. Listen, this would be exactly where I'd want to admit it if I was. I couldn't think of a better venue than on a stage with a bunch of people. Do you think that America is willing to elect a virgin president? And again, he may not be a virgin. He may have fucked. We don't know for sure

and there's nothing wrong if he has or hasn't that's the thing yeah that's how i feel about it yeah yeah yeah sure why not maybe that'd be a great thing for us who knows by the way we're going with the show's about a nun and we're going virgin because virgin mary nun yeah that's the connection i got it that's all we've got. She plays a nun. Yes. And nuns, they are abstemious from sex. Correct, yes. That's my recollection. I'm Jewish.

That's what I know about nuns. That's what I've read, too. Basically from Sister Act. Yeah, yeah. That is the only, yeah, that's the whole nun background that I had going into this job was Sister Act. I feel like you dodged the question. Would America vote for a virgin president?

No, it's okay. Yes, yes. I think there would be a very small section of the conservative right that would love that, right? Mom, sit down. It's funny, right? Because on some level, I think culturally, we all believe single people are fucking freaks.

Yeah, okay. Don't you think the concept of virginity is strange? It's like, what if you weren't considered someone who's been in a pool until your whole body had been in a pool? Wait, I don't follow. I don't follow. Break that down a little bit for me. Moving on. What? No. Do you want me to sit closer? No, this is good.

I'm good with this level of closeness. When you were cast in Mrs. Davis, did you know about it? Mrs. Davis? Did you know that it was just from the lost guy and the young Sheldon lady, or did you have details? I had a script. Yeah, no.

I mean, I knew about yeah. No, yeah. I mean, I knew about it. My introduction to Mrs. Davis was my audition for Mrs. Davis. Cool. Yeah. It's funny, too. You're funny in it. You're very good in the show.

Thank you, man. It's a great show. It's a fun show. It's Peacock's best kept secret. Yeah. And Peacock is America's best kept streaming secret. Oh, God. That's sadly so true. Hey, Peacock's doing some cool stuff, secret. Oh God, that's sadly so true. Hey, Peacock's doing some cool stuff, man.

Poker Face is good too. Hey, Peacock. It's the thing NBC decided to call their streaming service. Because we all, listen, we all grew up with Peacock mascots because we all loved NBC growing up. We all loved the Peacock. We'd all say, hey, are you guys going to check out the Peacock tonight? Yeah. Who among us hasn't gone as the NBC peacock

for Halloween? Are you afraid of AI? Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I'm dabbling with it like everyone else is right now. Are you doing some dabbling? Doing a little dabbling. Do you make any art? I am, embarrassingly. Yeah. Do you want to know what it is? Yeah, I do. I had them, them,

it, whatever we call it. 100% it. It's an is? Yeah, I do. I had them, them, it, whatever we call it. 100% it. It's an it. It's an it. I had it put my mom's cat on horseback like Napoleon in the style of a Vermeer oil painting. Hell yeah. It was incredibly good. How was that?

That's cool. It's good. I'm going to get it blown up for her birthday probably. Neat. Yeah. But that's where it stops. I'm done after this. Dutch.

Dutch? Vermeer. this. Dutch. Dutch? Vermeer. Oh, yeah. Virgin? I don't know if Vermeer fucked or not. I don't know. He paints a lot of hands. That leads me to think yes. Yes.

This is not real. You know what I mean? They're getting such a good idea of what the show's about. Yeah. There's also, in the show, you blow up a horse. I do, yeah, yeah. Did they kill a real horse, or was that the magic of Hollywood? Yeah, no, that was a real horse.

Oh, that's a real horse. We went for it. That's a bummer. That's a bummer. That's a bummer. People are going to be fucking pissed. Remember that HBO show

killed all those horses? Oh my God, yeah. What was that? Luck. Luck. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah, and everyone's like,

this is too boring to kill horses. As previously mentioned, the connecting... We earn our horse death in our show. Yeah, it's so entertaining. It's like, honestly,

if that's a real horse, okay, maybe worth it. It's sacrifice itself. Maybe worth it because this is a ride. I'm like, luck, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, right. Tough hit on luck.

Luck. As previously mentioned, the connecting thread of this segment is tenuously thin, just like the concept of virginity itself. Jake, are you ready

to answer questions about virginity and the virgins who have never had sex? Mm-hmm. Okay, Jake. Now it's time for a game we're calling Save Yourself for This Quiz. Oh, my God.

According to a study, what percentage of college students don't consider oral genital contact a virginity loss? Oh, my God. We're looking for a percentage? A percentage. They don't consider oral genital contact a virginity loss. Oh my god. We're looking for a percentage? A percentage. They don't count it. Yeah, I was going to say, who said 99? I'm going to go with somewhere in the 90s.

It's lower. It's only 60%. 40% count it. Oh my god, everyone's so disappointed. What a weird thing to feel like you have a dog in the fight of. In 2012, what did 36-year-old everyone's so disappointed. What a weird thing to feel like you have a dog in the fight of. I know. In 2012, what did 36-year-old virgin Trent Arsenault

make national news for doing? That is impossible. Oh my God. Listen, I have to say, I'm going to try my best on this quiz,

but I'm not too bummed if I'm not a virgin expert. It just sounds, like saying it out loud sounds probably Jake McDormand, actor, virgin expert. It's like what an incel puts on their resume. Better to be a virgin expert than an expert virgin. You know what I mean? That's what an incel puts on their resume. What?

What's the tone? It's a 36-year-old virgin made national news. I'll tell you the answer because it's completely impossible. This is great. The FDA threatened to fine and jail him for his DIY sperm bank after it was revealed that he fathered 15 children. So it was for donating too much sperm. He donated too much sperm, but he was a virgin at the time.

That was his whole thing. He was like, I'm not going to waste it. Wow. Just telling you, that at the time. That was his whole thing. He was like, I'm not going to waste it. Wow. Just telling you, that was the thing. Cool. Again, the show is Mrs. Davis. All this and more. Richard Branson shut down a satellite launch startup this week.

What was it called? Virgin Galactic. It was Virgin Orbit. No, give it to him. Give him the check. We're giving it to you. What inventor best known for his contribution to the development of the modern alternating

current electricity system is believed to have been a virgin at the time of his passing in 1943, but he did say of his pet pigeon, I loved that pigeon as a man loves a woman, and she loved me as long as I had her, there was purpose to my life. Is that Nikola Tesla? It is!

You got it! If I'm ordering a virgin cocktail, which I absolutely am not, I might order myself a Roy Rogers. Jake, what is a Roy Rogers? Oh, God. What's in a Roy Rogers? It's cola, a maraschino cherry, and

this syrup. It's grenadine. Grenadine. Which is a truly disgusting beverage. Really? Thanks. That's very generous. Could you imagine having a Coca-Cola being, what could make this sweeter? That's a wild beverage. Yeah, yeah. Have the alcohol. Yeah, Roy Rogers. Give the kids alcohol.

Better than a Roy Rogers. Shirley Temple's no alcohol, too, right? Yeah, Shirley Temple's a ginger ale with grenadine. An insane beverage. Yeah, Roy Rogers. Give the kids alcohol. Better than a Roy Rogers. Shirley Temple's no alcohol too, right? Yeah, Shirley Temple's a ginger ale with grenadine. An insane beverage. Yeah, crazy. Crazy. According to some Catholic teachings, St. Lucy was a virgin martyr who removed what part of her body to discourage an admiring suitor only for

God to restore said body part after her death? Eyeballs. Honestly, I really appreciate the help Was it eyeballs? Yes It's why she's the patron saint of eye illnesses That's a little fun fact

Mrs. Davis And where can you watch it? We can watch it on Peacock It's on Peacock They'll let you watch the first one for free But like a drug dealer outside of school That's how they get you watch it on Peacock. It's on Peacock. Yeah. They'll let you watch the first one for free. But like a drug dealer outside of school, that's how they get you.

Peacock. It's like a drug dealer outside of a school. It's the after school special of streamers. Yeah. For some reason, virginity pledges

were a huge thing in the aughts. I'm going to read you a list of celebrities who were famous in the 2000s. Which one of these people did not publicly declare themselves a virgin? Okay. Or maybe they all did. Oh, God.

Okay. Britney Spears, the Jonas Brothers, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Tim Tebow, Jessica Simpson. Was it? I feel like they all said they were... They all did. You got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

And finally, what was the penalty for Vestal Virgins who were found to have fucked? Were they burnt at the stake? So close. Buried alive. Wow. Buried alive.

Buried alive. God, I'd probably opt for burnt at the stake. No. You know? I don't think so. Buried alive. Buried alive. God, I'd probably opt for burnt at the stake. No. You know? I don't think so. Buried alive? Yeah. No.

I mean, they both suck. Let's be honest. Yeah, listen, we're not fans of either. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, both are bad options, but... Peacock, we're not fans of being buried alive or being burnt alive. No, no, and exactly. There's actually, in the opening episode of Mrs. Davis,

there is the burning of heretics at the stake. That's why I said that. I was trying to promote the show. And that's what this did. That's exactly what this did, man. Jake will be back for the rant wheel.

Thank you so much for being here. This was fun. Thanks, man. Everybody, go watch Mrs. Davis. It is really genuinely excellent. Check it out. You're really great. Really awesome.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. At the time, me calling a streamer a drug dealer outside of a school was disparagement, but now it's pro-labor. Time is so funny in that way. Want to know who else is funny? Paula Poundstone. We asked her to come on

and do a one minute little joke as Leslie Stahl and it became 11 minutes of us just chatting. Like you, I too was thrown off

when I saw 60 Minutes was profiling of all people Marjorie Taylor Greene. What could we possibly learn by exploring the inner life

of this awful person? We already know she does CrossFit. Plus her political opinions? Even worse. However, I reassured myself that this is 60 Minutes. MTG is she does CrossFit. Plus her political opinions, even worse. However, I reassured myself that this is 60 Minutes. MTG is going to get the business. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Unfortunately, while our interviewer Leslie Stahl pushed back at various points in the interview, there was this moment. Democrats support, even Joe Biden, the president

himself, supports children being sexualized and having transgender surgeries. Sexualizing children is what pedophiles do to children. Wow. And the segment dared to ask this question. The question for her and the country is, can she expand her brash MTG brand beyond the right-wing populist base is that the question is that the question leslie are you sure about that are you sure about that's why and of course green smeared democrats as pedophiles that's what she does that's like hiring scarlett johansson to be in your movie and when she hands in a flat aloof performance

you get upset because you can't tell if it's magical or nothing. That's what you signed up for. Was that amazing and real, or was it nothing? None of us knows. Well, we have some news. We here at Love It or Leave It have unearthed several previous interviews Lovely Saul gave, archival transcripts few knew about, that relate to the very holiday of Pesach that we marked this evening.

Here to help us reenact them in a segment we're calling Love It or Leave It Presents Leslie Stahl Theater playing the newsmaker herself it's the incredible Paula Poundstone.

It's so nice to have you on the show. It's lovely to be here. It's also unexpected. I drove basically to another country. I live in Santa Monica, so it was unbelievable

getting here. And my GPS, I would come to like a freeway and the GPS would suggest that I just drive across it. Just no light, no nothing. Just go. Just go. It was traumatic. And then the parking garage...

Talk to me. Yeah, what happened? Well, the parking garage had the reserved spaces. The signs are in yellow. Okay, so you can't... I don't see that well to begin with, which is not a good thing to suggest when I drive here. But... And so I would pull into the space and realize,

well, fuck, there's a yellow goddamn reserve sign there. You would put it in a different color, don't you think? A contrasting color. It was like whispering. Four times I pulled into spaces. Four times. And I don't back up that well. So every time I'm like, motherfucker,

it's another yellow reserve sign. You know, if it's your space, by God, put your fucking name on it in big letters. I got to tell you something. This is a dream come true for me. This is awesome. Oh, my God. You want to just talk?

What's up? Yeah. What else is happening with you? Well, I did, you know, because they sent me the Marjorie Taylor Greene interview, I'd heard people talking about it. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I actually expected it to be. Yeah, there's some nuance to it. I said that she pushed back at times.

Yeah, not a lot. And I'm not sure that eye-rolling works with Marjorie Taylor Greene. Yikes is not going to work on this woman. Yikes doesn't work with fascism. You know what I mean? You need a more powerful weapon than a yikes. You know, I'm not sure about that. I just listened to

a book about Mussolini. Anything you remember from it? Well, yes. Yikes was a powerful deterrent. Yeah, that was, it was Rommel's weakness. He couldn't figure out what to do with a yikes from Patton. Oh, I'll tell you something.

Stalin, give him a ye gods. Out of there. Here's what I remember about Mussolini. It said that, so he was killed in the end by the partisans, I believe, turned on him or something. And he was held captive in a hotel for a little while. And then they put him in a truck one day with, I think, three other captives. And they drove him to the top of a hill.

And they, you know, shot them. And then they took Mussolini back down to the town square. And they hung his dead body. And the people were so angry with him that they beat the dead body with sticks. And they put a dead mouse in his mouth. I just thought that was an interesting detail. Wasn't there also some dragging? Was there dragging involved by the legs?

I can't recall any longer. Okay, here's the other thing it said in the book. I have never heard anybody else say this, but I have not really talked about Mussolini to anybody but you. And I'm glad that you feel safe enough to share. I do. Thank you for sharing this with me. I do.

This is a really developmental time for me. But at one point, they contacted his wife or girlfriend or whatever it was and they asked her if she wanted it. And she said, I live in a small house. I don't know where I would put it. And apparently the Americans, I believe it was, somehow a little sliver of his brain came to America because they were looking at a sliver of his brain on a microscope slide, which I just think is funny. What are you looking for?

What are you looking for? Like, okay, asshole, yes. There it is. There's your problem right there. The brain was where it was at the problem. Guy was a dick. Would you look at that? See, you can't look before.

Like, they can't take a slice. No, famously. If your kid is having developmental problems or maybe acts out a lot, you can't just take a slice of their brain and go, wow, the kid's an asshole. No, you gotta wait till the person's dead to look at the brain.

In your hands, you can scan it. We got scannings, but not back then. Not with Mussol at the brain. In your hands. You can scan it. We've got scannings. But not back then. Not with Mussolini back then. They weren't MRIing Mussolini. That didn't exist. I don't think. No, no.

They didn't MRI Mussolini. You know what I'm realizing? There's that famous discovery. Albert Einstein famously said, hey, leave my brain alone. And then he died and we're like, you're dead. We're doing what we want. Oh, did he say that? Did he say leave my brain alone? I'm

remembering a book I read so much longer ago than when you read the Mussolini book. Yeah. And as much as you're not confident, your Mussolini knowledge, I'm even less confident. You don't feel on solid ground with your Einstein knowledge? But here's my question. So when they looked at Albert Einstein's brain, they were hoping they were going to see, like, I don't know,

extra stuff. Yeah. You know, like, wow, that's a brain right there. Holy shit. Yeah. No, that's not what happened. It just looked like a normal human brain. It could have been anybody's brain. What if what we're dealing with here is the Mussolini brain and the Einstein brain got swapped? Got mixed up.

Oh, yeah. You know, a classic, like, a Wacky Wednesday, like a parent trap situation. No, no, Freaky Friday. A Freaky Friday. Oh, you know what? You got to be able to. Doesaky Friday. Oh, you know what? You gotta be able to... Does anyone remember the book Wacky Wednesday?

There was no fucking Wacky Wednesday book. Why can't you just admit you're wrong? I don't admit, I don't do that on stage. All of a sudden, the whole crowd

has to feel bad about their literacy. Someone remembers Wacky Wednesday. Shit, there was a Wacky Wednesday? Wacky Wednesday exists. There was no Wacky Wednesday. Shit, there was a Wacky Wednesday? Wacky Wednesday exists. There was no Wacky Wednesday. Yes, there was.

It was obviously a ridiculous grab to try to get some of that Freaky Friday money. Yeah. It wasn't the right thing to do to write Wacky Wednesday. Yeah.

Steven, don't Google things. Pay attention. Is somebody... Focus on how we sound. I don't want you Googling while we're doing this show. and he's Googling? And now my voice doesn't sound right.

But they would exist, right? Yes. Hell yeah. Oh, bullshit. Oh, who pays that guy? I guess I do. Okay. All right, let's do it.

It's so nice to be with you, by the way. It's so nice to be with you. This really is a dream come true for me. You know, I've been a fan of you. You've got to aim much higher. It is. You've got to aim higher. No, I'm not going to. This is aim much higher. It is. Aim higher. No, I'm not gonna.

This is it. This is it for me. Come on. Well, thank you. You know, Leavitt was on my podcast. I was. And I had no idea you'd ever even heard of me before. You didn't say a word at the time.

Yes, that is fucking bullshit. No, you were like smoking famously and he had like bodyguards with him and shit he's like how long do you need me for I'll tell you what

we start at the top we do a couple jokes I'm out of here how about that alright for those listening at home that wasn't me that was Paul's impression of me. No, that was... No, that's exactly what he was like. And he was like, oh, you know, I've got a couple of podcasts. I don't know why I'm doing this podcast.

It's such a weird name, podcast, isn't it? Yeah, we... If you say it a lot, it just feels weird. It really... Like the word them. If you say it enough, it just feels weird. Sure. Them.

Them. Them. It's weird, isn't it? I guess. Who came up with that, them? I don't know. I think it sort of evolved. Yeah. Probably from... It used to be just, mm. Yeah, it started with mm.

Yeah. A lot of stuff. Yeah. Paula, thank you. Just reminding everybody, catching you up, because previously on Paula Poundstone on Love It or Leave It, this was a Leslie Stahl segment some time ago. Yes. The first interview we'd like to present,

and I know this might seem implausible, is an interview Leslie Stahl did with the pharaoh from the Book of Exodus, the actual pharaoh from the Passover story. Paula, are you ready? I am. Pharaoh, you've got some pretty radical views and a sharp tongue, but you've somehow managed to capture the national limelight,

taking on the role of a half-human demigod who rules over your kingdom with an iron fist. Tell me, in the words of your political rival, who you've called a Bush arsonist, Moses, why won't you let my people go? Let my people go?

Sounds like your average Twitter troll in my mentions, Leslie. The answer to your question is simple. The Jewish people love their jobs. Building pyramids,

as Jewish people famously kill it on the manual labor front. And while I don't pay them and hold them against their will, a lot of people are trying to cancel me because I'm a boss and no one wants to work anymore. Also, Moses is a pedophile. Alrighty then.

Leslie Stahl, everyone. Paula Poundstone will be back. Paula Poundstone, come on. We'll be back. Wow, I love Paula Poundstone will be back. Paula Poundstone, come on. She'll be back. Wow, I love Paula Poundstone. And by the time she came back for her second show, she even learned my name. A woman who still might not know my name, Lunel.

Here's her second appearance where we didn't even bother to come up with a segment because we knew some battles aren't worth fighting. The last time she was on Love It or Leave It, we quizzed our next guest on the very specific details of last summer's celebrity jet scandal. Drake's flight times, flight lengths,

specific quantities of carbon emissions produced by Taylor Swift's plane, the whole shebang. And our next guest really refused to embrace the premise of the segment and took over the show completely. So now we're just going to do whatever. Please welcome back to the show, Lu Now. Lu Now.

Come on. How you doing? Hi, everybody. No, no, it's me. I'm hi, everybody. Hi. Very. When you were on this show last time,

did you have any idea what it was? No, I still don't really know what the fuck's going on. Do you think that that's why you introduced yourself to me backstage? Yeah, that's probably why. I forgot. It's been a while. Okay, it meant a lot to me. Well, clearly. All right.

Here's the deal. Okay. I just want to get your take on some stuff. I'm basically going to go until Malcolm or Brian says we have to stop. Okay. That's it. Okay. Oh, and this is a segment we're calling Show and Lunel.

All right. What do you think about Taylor Swift potentially dating Matt Healy? Who's Matt Healy? He's the lead singer of a band called the 1975. Okay, so he's nobody. What do I think about Taylor Swift dating a nobody? Sure, if that's how you want to interpret the question. I think that Taylor is always looking for love

and inspiration in her songs. And that, you know, every breakup, she make a million dollars after it. Everybody should break up, we should make a million dollars. She wrote a song about him, so... I say, go Taylor, do your thing, girl. Taylor Swift manages to be a slut,

but not look like one. She looks so innocent, but she'd be straight giving up that pussy, though. Sorry, Taylor. Sorry, Taylor. Should Google delete accounts that have been inactive for two years? Like Gmail and YouTube? Yes. Makes more space for my OnlyFans pictures. That's smart.

For $9.99, you can get your life changed, baby. And I'm having a clearance sale. Getting ready for my summer beach body nudes, you know? It would definitely change my life. Next. Are you going to see the new Little Mermaid? Should Disney make these live-action remakes, and which one should they do next?

I absolutely positively want to see the Little Mermaid, but due to my schedule and things, I don't really have a lot of time to go to the movie theater, and if I sit in a cold, dark room and have to be still, I'm going to sleep. And I don't want to go to sleep on The Little Mermaid. So if I get a chance to see it, I fully support it. I can't wait to see it. It looks beautiful.

And what was the other question? What other animated Disney movies would you want to see as live action? Well, they already did Popeye. Maybe the Jetsons. Sure. Yeah? Maybe the motherfucking Jetsons have always been ahead of their time.

That means they had a maid, Rosie, the robot. Do you remember? Oh, these motherfuckers. I don't know. Anyway, moving robot. Do you remember? How old are these motherfuckers? Anyway, moving on, sorry. No, I'm thinking about it. Jetsons. They've already done the Flintstones.

They already did. Remember the Flintstones with Rosie O'Donnell and John Goodman? And Halle Berry. And Halle Berry. All right, you now have to make a very important decision. Okay. You're the deciding vote. This has been a tie score on the internet

all week. You're the deciding vote for our society. Pressure. Wait a minute. You can handle it. Who's hotter, young Al Pacino or young Robert De Niro? We have photos for your reference. Oh, well, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Everybody, give it a second. Give it a goddamn second. Right. Because Pacino got that swag, though. And when he was young, he was a straight thug, and I love that shit. And he's still a fucking boss, you know?

And Al Pacino was a beast and a monster and so passionate. He was fine, too. Oh, shit, my nipples is getting hard talking about. Hey, don't give that. Down, down, girl. Down. Supposed to charge for that. Oh, my God.

I don't want to give that away. So I'm the determining factor? Yeah, you got to decide. Well, I'm going to have to just give it to the boss. I'm going to give it to De Niro. Yeah. I got to Al Pacino followed in his footsteps De Niro didn't follow in his interesting

so I have to give it to the boss I wanna see what the crowd thinks what the fuck you told me I was determined to fuck do you wanna know what they think nobody need to ask them I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you I'm good go ahead let's see what they think. Do you want to know what they think? Nobody need to ask them. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you. No, I'm good. Go ahead. Let's see what they talk about. All right. How many people say Pacino? How many people say De Niro? But they both, I smash either one of them back down. They can both get it.

What do you think about AI? Worried about it? No. Not at all? No. You don't think it's going to take all the jobs? No. Robots will never be able to be barbers.

They'll never be able to cut men's hair. You're going to always need a human to do that. Sure, okay, that's a job. That's one job. Yeah, but it's a job every motherfucker need, though. That's a really good point. That's a really good point. Okay.

And funeral directors. Robots will never be able to do that. Yeah, you need a person. That's a sensitive. You need a person in that moment. You don't want to see a robot. Brazilian wax technician. I don't want a robot doing that.

I think it's cool that you went to Brazilian wax technician before pilot. Well, you asked me. No, I... Shit. And pilots. Actually, pilots... Shit. And pilots. Actually, pilots don't fly the plane now. They just... Facts.

Did y'all know that? Did y'all know they'd be up there bullshitting and the plane be on cruise control? I fly all the time. I know all this shit. I currently drive, hopefully for a limited time, a Tesla. And it's cool.

It drives itself on the highways. It barely hits anything. You know, it basically can recognize almost everything. Almost. And that's the cool thing about it. We're about to human form. Can it recognize that?

Most of the time. And that's all you need. What do you think happens when we die? I hope to never find out. That's cool. No clue. I thought I hoped you knew. No, I don't know, baby.

Damn. I'll ask other people. Yeah. All right, we're going to open this up. You can ask Linnell one question. Just one? Like all these motherfucking... Oh, you mean one question per person.

We're not going to go... I'm like, one motherfucking question. Look at all these goddamn people. Yeah, hi, everybody. Awesome. Let's go. What did they do? Raise their hand.

Hi, what's your name and what's your question? Hi, my name is Emma. And my question is, you know, it's your last meal. What are you eating? Well, I'm not watching my weight or my blood pressure. So this is my last meal. Probably, I really love gumbo, if you know what gumbo is. Probably gumbo with some bacon on the side.

And, like, you know, mashed potatoes. I mean, I'm fitting to die, right? Yeah. You have it all. Yeah, I want some mashed potatoes and shit. Lobsters. All kinds of shit. Nice.

What's yours, Lovett? What is mine? God, is it just fast food? Am I that disgusting? Come on, don't do that. Don't do that. Is this like the last meal I'm going to get on this beautiful planet and all it's bounty? And I'm like, I guess a chalupa.

But steak. Which is more. Not something like your grandma used to make or something your mom used to make. The thing is, it's Jewish food and so it's like, no, I don't want a dried brisket before I say goodbye. I don't want a vodka.

I don't want a vodka. I want french fries. Thank you for knowing my culture. Yeah. Because I eat off the trucks in New York. Oh, yeah. They got a New York knish. A square, not a round. I don't like the round.

I don't give a fuck what shape it is. Actually, I like them. Full of carbs. Kill you. But they're good. Hi, what's your name and what is your question? Hi, my name's Marcella. I'm going to follow the same format of the previous question.

If you could teach a high school class for a day, what would you teach and what would you teach Gen Z? Well, that's two different questions. If I could teach anything to any class of any age, it would be independence and self-worth and tolerance and humor. If I could teach Gen Z anything, it would probably be to shut the fuck up and do what the fuck I said. I would probably teach them that. And a little bit about respect, because you motherfuckers are just mad disrespectful, most of you. Not all of you.

No, it's really not funny. It's really fucked up. Because I just believe in, you know, you don't have the right to talk to older folk the way that some of y'all are talking to older folk. You don't have that right. It's your motherfucking parents fucking them, put their foot in your ass. If you'd been raised in my motherfucking house, I'd have put my foot in your ass. You wouldn't be talking about

nothing. Goddamn, beat your motherfucking ass. What the fuck are we doing? Never would be some motherfucking type of shit. Now,

do you think that as, I try to be as a member of Gen Z, someone who is respectful. I try to put my best foot forward on behalf of my generation. Generation Z.

As someone who was born and has no recollection of 9-11, I was taught about 9-11 when I was an older child, something that took place a long time ago. In the same way that my friends went to law school and at the end of it they have to, like, study for the bar

and find out what the law actually is because they spent three years, like, learning about philosophical nonsense. I think it is crazy that you graduate high school in this country

and then you find out what taxes are. They should teach about taxes. It's fucking nuts. The fact that you graduate and you have no idea how finance works, that is some bullshit.

Yeah. God damn it. I agree with that. Now we're on the same page with that. Well, that's a great place works. Absolutely. That is some bullshit. Yeah. God damn it. I agree with that. Now we're on the same page with that. Well, that's a great place to leave it. It is. Give it up for Lunel. She'll be back.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Wow. I wish I cared about this show as little as Lunel does, but unfortunately for me, I care a lot about the work I do. Did someone say work? Struggling with a question about work? If it's how to use Excel, you're on your own. If it's something stickier, we've got answers. Work Appropriate is a must-listen weekly podcast that delivers funny but useful workplace advice for a range of listener dilemmas, from how do I get my manager to stop texting me after hours,

to what do I do when my company thinks our toxic culture can be fixed with taco Tuesdays. The problems may be limitless, but so are the solutions. Listen to a new episode of work appropriate every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. Did you watch the first Republican debate? Were you horrified? Trump is a nightmare, but so is the right wing clown car drafting behind him. That means one thing we have work to do. Crooked is building a better progressive media company as a counterweight to all the right wing noise and Vote Save America is organizing on the ground for 2024 and beyond. You can support that work

by subscribing to Friends of the Pod today at crooked.com slash friends. Sign up. It's an incredible community. You get ad-free episodes of our pods,

plus you get a bunch of other content that's really fun and some of our loosest, most absurd shows, plus you get to be part of the Discord, so check it out.

And finally, if you enjoyed this next guest, buy tickets to our Atlanta show because she's coming back. We were less than three minutes into this segment before she threatened to eat me and I still worry if that was a threat or a promise. It's Ms. Pat. Listen, has this been a serious show so far? A little

bit. It's time for, to get even more serious. No, it's not. Here to lie directly to our audience's faces, it's the incredibly funny, the phenomenal, your favorite comedian and mine, Miss Pat. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. How are you? Just fine. Welcome, welcome.

How y'all doing? How you doing? I think I said fine. I'm doing fine. How are you doing? I'm over 50, so I'm sleepy. We're all sleepy. All right, so you're from Atlanta. Yes, born and raised. Who is your favorite politician in your hometown right now?

Stacey Abrams, but she keeps losing. Yeah, it's tough. I know, it's tough. It's tough. We wanted to win. I wanted to win, too, but it's something that know it's tough it's tough we wanted to win I wanted to win too but it's something

that's scaring Atlanta with that little afro she got they won't vote for her you think that's what it is yeah

the afro scare white people when it's not moist so if she would put a little more grease in it the white people

feel a little safer where the fuck were you in October? What are we supposed to do now? Great, great advice. It's too fucking late. Everybody's trying

to help her win. I voted for her. That's not enough. It didn't work. She lost by more than one vote. Well, she know to comb her fucking hair.

I'm just saying. You act like I made her lose. I wear a wig. Thank you to the person in the middle. Everybody else think I'm being rude and shit. I'm like, you can't be no big old black lady with no small afro. You got to balance the shit out.

Don't you see me with hair on my head because I'm a big ass black woman. I want you to know something. What? I'm not going to comment on any of this. I'm not going to say a fucking thing. You better not, god damn it. I will eat your little white ass.

It's been a long time since I ate a white man. But I gotta say, y'all tip well. I just saw you pussy and you didn't even catch it. Now, Miss Pat is an incredible storyteller. That wasn't no story. That was the truth. I'm just trying to transition out without so much as hinting at a comment of what you'd been saying. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

For my own safety. It's so good, in fact, it's actually nearly impossible to know where her real life ends and the bit begins. So we're going to need a volunteer to play a game, a game we're calling Two Truths and a Lie, with Miss Pat. All right, here's how it works.

I'm going to read three log lines of stories. Two are real stories from Miss Pat. All right, here's how it works. I'm going to read three log lines of stories. Two are real stories from Miss Pat's life. And one is one we made up. If you correctly guess which one is false, you get to ask Miss Pat to tell the story of your choosing. She won't listen. You can tell whatever fucking story you want. That's the beauty of it.

It's barely a game at all. Okay. Hi, what's your name? Vicky. Vicky? All right. Here are three entirely true things about Miss Pat. You have to choose which one you think is the lie, all right?

Okay. Miss Pat was attacked by an escaped cougar, kicked out of her coupon club, hit by a dumb truck. Where's the lie? The coupon club. How did you know? You watch the show?

I just guess, but I do watch the show. That's false. That happened. That happened. So you got it wrong. What the hell? Come on, Malcolm. So you were kicked out of your Coupon Club

and hit by a dump truck, presumably on different days. Well, one really bad Wednesday. The dump truck come from me losing my nipple in a drive-by. The coupon, I moved to Indiana, a place called Plainfield, Indiana, and I wanted to fit in. Very conservative little white neighborhood.

Great neighbors. I was there for 15 years. So I wanted something to do and my career wasn't taking off, so I tried to join a coupon club. I'm a black woman from the inner city of Atlanta and we don't do all coupons like white women. They're serious about this shit. They keep their stuff like

birth certificates. And so they had, you know, you had to have a booklet and it all lined up and you went to the store on that day. Well, I'm an ex-drug dealer, so I balled mine up like dope money and put a rubber band around it. Do you put the biggest coupons on the outside? And I stuff it in my titty.

Okay. And they told me I had to go. They said I wasn't organized. That's horse shit. We was just there to buy Tide laundry detergent. I don't know why you got to be organized for that. And you were hit by a dump truck. I jumped on top of my kid's father's truck, and he said he didn't see me.

I jumped over an overpath because he was cheating. He had a woman in the car. So he drug me, and I'm on the side. Hey, I love you, but he said he didn't see me. Love will make you do crazy things. Love made me do a lot of crazy things was it interstate or he was a street surface street i was walking over a bridge and i looked down he had a woman in the car so i'm young and i'm thinking spider man or wonder woman

and i jumped on that damn hood i land on her and i and I was like, bitch, you're cheating. And he took off. Well, I gotta say, you know, in fairness to him, you really don't expect to get caught that way. You know? You may not think you're gonna get away with it,

but when you're on the highway, you think you're safe. You know? And here come this big black woman flying like a kite. Did he just land on the windshield? That's cool.

What was the best case scenario for you when you were, like, what did you want to happen? Like, what's the goal? When you throw yourself over the overpass, you're coming down, you land on the hood of a car, you see him, you see her.

What do you want to happen? What's the best outcome for you? I want that bitch to get out the car. That's cool. That's cool. What, you think I was there for a ride? I don't know. I don't know what you wanted.

You don't know how to cheat, do you? No. No, I don't. Too anxious. I guess he thought I was going to valet the truck. I'm here to park your car, sir. All right, who wants to go next? Hi, what's your name? Alice.

Alice. Hey, Alice. Here are three truths, but one's a lie. She met Jimmy Kimmel at Norman Lear's 100th birthday party. She met Jimmy Buffett at divorce court. She met Jimmy Carter at a McDonald's. The first one. You think the first one's false?

Yes. No, it's true. You're wrong. Damn. I'm very interested to understand how you met Jimmy Carter at a McDonald's. I used to work at McDonald's Because I was a convicted felon And I was getting my life back together Thank you for laughing

Because I used to sell crack So So I'm working at this McDonald's I'm on parole I'm getting my life back together But I'm doing what everybody else do You know back I'm 50

So back in those days McDonald's paid $3.75 an hour. You can't live off that. So everybody had a turn of stealing out of the register. It was my register day to steal. So I'm stealing out the register. And in walked these white dudes with plugs in their ears. And they was like, and they looking around.

Oh, my God. They caught me stealing. I'm going. My parole officer is somewhere. This is a true story. I hear him say, it's clear an in-walk President Jimmy Carter. But I'm a hood rat. I didn't recognize him.

And so he gets to the restroom. And I'm like, he look familiar. He probably 60 at a time. Pants jacked up. Nutsack hanging on one side. And so I look at him and I said, why he look familiar? And the boy on the grill run up to the register, Patricia, that's the president of the United States, Jimmy Carter. And my dumb ass said, nigga, I told you I knew you.

And he said nothing. He placed his order. I'll never forget. He ordered a water, a cup of water, a cheeseburger, and a side salad. And then I go in and say, it's free. You the president. And I'm glad he didn't give me no money that day because I was stealing. And I would hate to keep his money.

Side salad and a burger. And a water, a cup of water. That's a fucked up, shitty order from McDonald's. That's not how you go to McDonald's. That's not how you get it done at McDonald's. That's not how you bring Secret Service into McDonald's and scare the hell out of me because I was stealing. Side salad and a burger. No fries?

No fries. It was a water. That's why I only got the one term. If you want to win two terms in this country, you got to get fries. I think he was too nice. Too nice for fries?

Second term. That's a good point. All right, last one. Somebody else have a... Betsy right here in the front. Raise your hand. Hi, Johnny. Hi, Betsy... Betsy right here in the front, raise your hand. Hi, Johnny. Hi, Betsy.

Betsy comes every week. Hey, Betsy. Hi. Keep coming. Which of the following isn't true? Bill Clinton inadvertently started Miss Pat's career. President Barack Obama got Miss Pat's car towed. Ronald Reagan killed Miss Pat's dog.

Oh, shit. C? No. No one got it. The stories are too unbelievable. Let's start with this. So Bill Clinton inadvertently started your career.

Yeah, I voted for Bill Clinton because he was cute. And he created a program called the Welfare to Work Program for lazy bitches like me. So I had to go get a job. And I hated Bill Clinton after that. Because I couldn't watch the young and the wrestlers anymore.

And so I get a job, and I became a medical assistant. That's how I got my GED. I wouldn't have never gotten it had he not paid me $500 to take the test. That's cool. Yeah, that was very cool. Bill Clinton, all of your heroes. Now, I find it hard to believe that Ronald Reagan killed your dog. Ronald Reagan actually killed my dog.

Fuck. So I never get, it was the second term, and me and my dog were sitting there listening to the radio. I'm not lying. He was on the back porch. I had to wind up,, it was the second term, and me and my dog were sitting there listening to the radio. I'm not lying. He was on the back porch. I had to wind up, and it was raining. We were so poor. And I would just let anybody but Ronald Reagan so I could get better lunch at school. And the radio said, your new president is Ronald Reagan.

And my dog jumped out the back porch and hung himself. And I was like, no, papa. Papa. What are you mean? Democrats don't kill themselves. Republican do. Don't do that. And my dog was like, fuck y'all.

I'm out of here. Y'all can't buy no dog food. I'm tired of eating pig feets with y'all. And my dog just jumped out the back porch. What? He said, what? Just jumped out. That was it. He was an old German shepherd with no side teeth. He had had it. So he just jumped out

the back porch. So when it stopped raining, I went out there and got him. I was like, dang, Pup Boy, you should have tucked me with you. But I like you. You know, he black, so y'all scared to laugh because y'all white. But he over here acting like he had a black family and he in the floor. He was like, this kind of blackness ain't never been on this show. He's screaming, y'all scared to laugh. But youness ain't never been on this show. He's screaming. Y'all scared to laugh, but you know what I've been through, brother. And I never owned another dog.

I just got a dog. My husband just bought a dog. And that's been over, I'm 50, so that had to be over like 35, 40 years. So my husband went out and bought three Cane Corsos. And they all look like my real daddy in the face. Just sort of scrunched up. My daddy looked like a hound dog. Sort of a scrunchy face.

Yeah, and my daddy looked just like these dogs. He dead, so we can laugh. Yeah, we can laugh. The season three of The Miss Pat Show is now on BET+. It's out. The third season. Miss Pat, this was a delight. Thank you so much for being here.

I was so worried about this podcast, because they said you do political stuff, and I'm like, I just vote and mind my business. I don't want to get into these fights. You know, I got some Trump friends Only because my neighbor Build really good fences He was a Trump supporter

And I was not letting that go out of my life I know how to pick my batters Yeah Great fences make great neighbors They do And I listen to all that Trump stuff As he was putting them poles in the ground. I was like, way to go.

Ms. Pat, everybody, she'll be back for the Red Wheel. Thank you so much. My most interesting story is an order of magnitude more boring than Ms. Pat's least interesting story. And speaking of stories that might be boring and might be interesting, here it is, the high note. Hey, John, this is Chris calling from Taylor, Michigan. I am a very proud Michigander with Gretchen Whitmer as my governor. I live in a pretty conservative town, and I get kind of down and just disappointed seeing some of the flags that are still up or,

like, the bumper stickers or, like, some of the things that people put around just because my town is a little bit more Republican-heavy. But my high note is just everything that my governor has done, Gretchen Whitmer, or as we call her, Big Gretch. Her Michigan budget is including lower cost, historic education for kids, so many investments in improved health care for moms, access to more public safety, housing, free breakfast. And as you can hear, that's my daughter in the backseat, and it just makes me so happy and optimistic to know that we mobilized over these midterms and we got Democrats in the House and the Senate and we're being led by Big Gretch herself.

So my high note is even though I live in a pretty Republican town, I just love listening to your podcast, that we have such a wonderful governor. And that's just a high note. And even like looking at Gretchen Whitmer nationally, she's just such an amazing person and even wrestling with Trump during the coronavirus pandemic. But enough rambling. I stand with that woman from Michigan and I will always stand. And I love your show.

I love you. And I want to give a shout out to my friend Tommy, Tommy knew who your show and my brother, Dan. So shout out to you, Tommy, and shout out to you, Dan. Hey, John, this is John calling from San Diego. My high note of the week is thanks to the Biden administration after 25 years in the business and 10 years of working for nonprofits as a theater production manager, my student loans were forgiven under the Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program.

I'm tickled pink. Thank you, John, for all you do. Love listening to you every week. Hi, Levitt. This is Kristen in Sacramento, and I'm thrilled to share that after four long years of litigation, appeals, and a review by the California Supreme Court, my harassment lawsuit against a former employer was finally settled. Every independent contractor and gig economy worker deserves to be protected from harassment and discrimination in the workplace. So let's pass legal protections in every state. Thanks, Lovett. Thanks, Lovett. Hi, Lovett. My name is Kieran.

I live in Portland, Oregon. And my high note this week is that I'm alive right now. I was hit by a car yesterday afternoon, and I came through it miraculously, not terribly injured. But I am laying down in my living room with a concussion, and I was just listening to your show from this week and laughing so hard my ribs hurt, which was kind of a bummer, but overall, really a joy to be able to listen to you and your guests and to laugh about the state of the world in a moment when I just really needed to laugh. So thank you for what you do. And I'm really excited to see you when you come to Portland. Thanks to everybody who called in with a high note. If you want to leave us a message

about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. And that is our show. Thank you so much to Abby McEnany, Jake McDormand, Paula Poundstone, Lunell, and Miss Pat. There are 437 days until the 2024 elections. We'll be dark next week, back after Labor Day. Also, a big thanks to the team that makes this show. Every day is Labor Day when you labor for me every day. Have a greaticket Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer.

And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, and Chandler Dean are our writers. Evan Sutton is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, and Chandler Dean are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Kyle Seglin provides audio support. Our theme song is written and performed by Shersher.

Thanks to our designer, Jesse McClain, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Tolles, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at www.youtube.com slash at Love It or Leave It podcast.

That's the best we can do, I guess. Subscribe to Love It or Leave It on YouTube for access to video versions of your favorite segments and other exclusive content. Don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on IG and Twitter. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Thank you.