Lovett or Leave It - Lovett or Grieve It

Episode Date: September 17, 2022

Cover the mirrors and don your kippah, it’s time to sit shiva for Lilibit. Grab some nosh and swap stories of Her Highness with Senator Bernie Sanders (James Adomian). Enjoy the dulcet tones of the very real bagpiper playing Hava Nagila as Brandon Kyle Goodman and Sam Pancake pay homage to Her Majesty’s famously sharp sense of humor with some Gay News. If you drop your coat on the bed with all the coats, just avoid MyPillow’s own Mike Lindell (also James Adomian), who got an invite as well. Guy Branum brought some rugelach to share with Zachary Schiffman as they decide if the British or the Jewish have better food. And though we all appreciate a stiff upper lip, some ranting never hurt anyone.  Show notes:ANCA.org/907alert For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Thank you. Please, please. This is a somber event. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, this Mortal Coil edition. Thank you so much to Aaron Shaw for that stirring rendition of Havana Gila on the bagpipes. We're so grateful you all could join us tonight. This is a very special episode.

For tonight, we are sitting Shiva for Queen Elizabeth II. Shame on you. Lilibet, as we her friends and family called her. She was not Jewish in the sense that she was the titular head of the Church of England, but she was Jewish in the sense that she hated all of her sons and grandsons' wives. Shiva is open to the community,

so we don't know who for sure will be joining us, but Sam Pancake and Brandon Kyle Goodman might join us for some gay news. Or as the queen might call it, poof news. Guy Branham and Zach Schiffman will hopefully help us decide if the British or the Jewish

have the better culinary sensibilities. Bernie Sanders and Mike Lindell independently said they might join to pay their respects. And once we have a minion, it's time for the rant wheel. But first, let's get into it. What a week.

Queen Elizabeth II's funeral on Monday will conclude with a two-minute... For those listening at home they put a yarmulke on George I don't know what would have been more upsetting to George Washington the yarmulke the clown knows the amount of gay sex happening generally Queen Elizabeth the second's funeral on Monday will conclude with a two minute moment of silence nationwide which from years of telling jokes to audiences I recognize as the ultimate sign of respect.

She will then be outfitted with animatronic servos and brought to her final resting place at Disney's Hall of Queens. The line to see Queen Elizabeth's coffin, which will be on display until her funeral, was reportedly four and a half miles long on Thursday morning. I can't blame those people for trying. The witch clearly said, from this slumber she shall wake to true love's kiss. They're all going in there and kissing her. Russian President Vladimir Putin

will not be on the guest list for the queen's funeral because of the invasion of Ukraine. At least the punishment fits the crime. Meanwhile, sources told the Mirror that the queen was secretly a natural at Wii Bowling and had been given a Nintendo Wii console made of 24 karat gold as a gift.

Additional sources note that the queen was absolutely dog shit at Elden Ring. Meanwhile, here in the country that absolutely fucking bodied her great-great-great-great grandfather, railroad workers reached a tentative deal with freight railroad companies to avert a strike after the companies agreed to stop firing workers

for taking time off to go to the doctor. This is America. No one should lose their job for going to the doctor. You should lose your job for going to the bathroom. President Biden praised the agreement on Thursday, saying, This agreement is a big win for America, and it's a great deal for both sides, in my view.

Biden then pulled a train conductor hat low over his eyes and ascended into a beam of light. His purpose on this earth fulfilled. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis claimed responsibility for sending two planes full of migrants to Martha's Vineyard as a fuck you to both Democrats and human decency. There has got to be a simpler way of finding someone to hang out with Alan Dershowitz. Meanwhile, two busloads of migrants from the U.S.-Mexico border were dropped off Thursday morning near Vice President Kamala Harris' home in Washington, D.C.,

though I thought she said do not come. Folks in this region who are thinking about making that dangerous trek to the United States-Mexico border, do not come. Do not come. It's always tough. Texas Governor Greg Abbott claimed responsibility for the buses, tweeting, We're sending migrants to her backyard to call on the Biden administration to do its job and secure the border. ending migrants to her backyard to call on the Biden administration to do its job and secure the border. Last week, Abbott also sent about 75 migrants to Chicago.

Even worse, he told them they had to try deep dish at Sarpino's. Puffy crust, no crunch. Bland sauce. Yuck. Over on the Gold Coast, California Governor Gavin Newsom, or as I call him, Little Gavi Nunu, is renting billboards in red states that have restricted abortion access to tout California's reproductive freedoms. The billboards read, need an abortion? California is ready to help. Personally, I would have also mentioned that you can get an In-N-Out after, but that's just me, a reproductive justice advocate.

This week, Lindsey Graham introduced a 15-week abortion ban. All right, look, here's the thing. All right, we inadvertently booked a show full with men. So now we're going to call out our head writer, Hallie, to come share some measured, even-handed, not-at-all-scream jokes about Lindsey's proposal. Hi, Hallie. How you doing? How you doing?

Bad. Okay. Okay. What do you doing? How you doing? Bad. Okay. Okay. What do you got? On Tuesday, Lindsey Graham proposed a national abortion ban, which would prohibit almost all abortions after 15 weeks. Lindsey Graham, more like Lindsey Ger-ham, the hog I've trained to hunt down and devour Lindsey Graham.

to hunt down and devour Lindsey Graham. Wait, so his name is Gerham. Gerham. Okay, first of all, it's a she. Okay, I was talking right there. And it's a play on words. But seriously, I don't know why Graham thought this was smart to announce before the midterms, but isn't that why we need abortion rights?

Men blowing their loads too soon without authentic consequences. And I will point out, it hasn't even been 15 weeks since the Supreme Court Dobbs decision. So it's like, that's how badly things could get out of hand in 15 weeks. They should know that. Said Graham in his announcement, we will introduce legislation to get America in a position at the federal level I think is fairly consistent with the rest of the world. If we take back the House and Senate, I can assure you, we'll have a vote. Graham just did more to mobilize Democratic voters in the midterms

than anything we've ever said on this show. Which is why it gives me great pleasure to announce the new host of Love It or Leave It, Lindsey Graham! So this is just the latest of Graham's attempts to run a national ban on the flagpole, including a previous attempt at a 20-week ban in January of last year. You know what else should be run up a fucking flagpole? A big flag that says, please don't do this. And then under that flag is a much bigger flag

that says, attack Lindsey Graham! Attack! Lindsey Graham is a truffle and you must root him out! I kid. But it's like I always say, if at first you don't succeed, Lindsey Graham, just quit your job and shut the fuck up,

you disgusting little freak. Graham wants to frame his proposal as a ban to later abortions, but the bill will criminalize abortions at an earlier point in pregnancies before many dangerous fetal anomalies and maternal health issues have come to light. And the one rule Lovett gave me was not to explicitly call for any assassinations, so I don't have a joke for that one, so I'm moving on. Literally the only rule. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said of the apparent

conflict among Republicans, there are those in the Republican Party who think life begins at the candlelight dinner the night before. And she still hasn't paid me for that joke. That's funny. That's funny. And finally, Mike Pence praised the overturn of Roe vs. Wade this week, even if it does hurt Republicans in the midterms,

saying ending abortion rights is, quote, profoundly more important than any short-term politics. No one understands this better than Mike Pence, king of the long game, who accepted the short-term pain of serving as vice president to a raging psychopath for the long-term payoff of almost getting hanged. And honestly, on a more serious note, like, I you know but i do realize it's like i wish i had known as a younger and more optimistic voter that this was how bad i was going to get if people like me were not engaged you know like i would have done the harder work more often and sooner honestly if i had a time machine i would go back

to january 6th and i would unleash lindsey gerham on the crowd while also handing out a very detailed map to Mike Pence's... Oop, I'm sorry, that was an assassination threat. In fact, this was sort of an oops, all assassination threats segment. That's it for me, Lindsay Gerham out. Thank you so much. Holly Kiefer, everybody. The pig's name is Lindsey Grr-ham. One rule. The Justice Department said they will not object

if one of Donald Trump's picks, Judge Raymond J. Deary of the Brooklyn Federal District Court, is selected as special master in charge of reviewing documents from the Mar-a-Lago raid. A DOG spokesperson explained, this candidate really stood out since he is not the deranged owner of an internet pillow company.

Rudy Giuliani said in a Newsmax interview last Friday that 9-11 was in some ways the greatest day of my life. It's tough. Giuliani went on, while I don't condone everything they did, those hijackers taught me it's okay to be myself. Yeah, you're groaning. You're laughing. But name a better day in Rudy Giuliani's life.

The day he almost exposed himself in a Borat movie? The day he married his cousin? He might be right. My pillow guy Mike Lindell claimed on Tuesday that FBI agents had seized his phone at a Minnesota Hardee's. Said Lindell in a Facebook video, The day the FBI, you're going to hear this and you're probably already hearing it in the news, the FBI came after me and took my phone, they surrounded me at a Hardee's, and took my phone that I run all my business, everything with.

They could have just, what they've done is weaponized the FBI. It's disgusting. I don't have a computer. Everything I do, I have that phone. Everything was on there. And they told me not to tell anybody. It was in order not to tell anybody. Okay, I won't.

Well, I am. Tough day for the Hardee slogan. Hardees, once you're here, at least your day can't get any worse. Tough day for the Hardee slogan. Hardees, once you're here, at least your day can't get any worse. Ken Starr, the former independent counsel whose criminal investigation of Bill Clinton led to his impeachment,

died Tuesday at the age of 76. I like to imagine Ken Starr's up in heaven right now trying to figure out if Anne Frank's really bisexual. Leave that in And all the space after Let it all sit there Let it sit out there on the internet New York Times data nerd Nate Cohen issued a warning about optimistic

Midterm polling this week noting that Democrats Are exceeding expectations in the same places Where polls were wrong in 2016 And 2020 Bad polls are like personality flaws that Democrats are exceeding expectations in the same places where polls were wrong in 2016 and 2020. Bad polls are like personality flaws. There's no need to fix them as long as you're aware of them and tweet about them regularly. Ukrainian forces have made rapid gains in a two-front counteroffensive, forcing Russian soldiers to flee as the Ukrainians retook territory in the north.

Rapid gains? What is this, Billy Eichner prepping for the bros press tour? The founder of Patagonia announced he'll give away his company to environmental trusts that all future profits can be used to fight climate change. Fuck you, dad, said his children in a notes app statement written while they were in a yoga class at 11.30 a.m. on a Wednesday. Research into climate change suggests up to 4.4 million new acres of land in the U.S. will be at least partially underwater by 2050. See, you see the land as partially underwater.

I see the land as partially above water. Call me an optimist. After losing a bet to the co-star of his new reality series, Ryan Reynolds had his very first colonoscopy, which he filmed in order to raise awareness, specifically to raise awareness of his colon. It's great for public health, but the disturbing part was when he broke the fourth wall

and turned and talked to the camera. Mixologist, a word that does to bartender what aioli does to mayonnaise. Mixologist at a Bangkok hotel set a Guinness World Record by creating the world's largest Negroni cocktail. Said spectators at the bar, that's cool, but I've been trying to close out for 20 minutes. When I was a kid, the Guinness Book of World Records meant something.

You know what I mean? I thought it was really cool. It was about fingernails and tight and width. Things you can't just do with money. Buying the most amount of Negroni ingredients doesn't feel impressive to me. It's just, who's got the resolve to really commit and get a big vat, you know? I don't think that should be in there

if it exists as a book anymore. Does it? With the fingernails? Remember the fingernails? That was a big part of it. The fingernails were important. They were an important part of it. That took time and commitment.

And once you had a lead, you're pretty safe. It's not like a surprise. You can't catch up. Specifically on the fingernails. We all can picture them. They were round. That loomed so... In the 1990s, fingernails and the person with the longest ones

was a big part of what it meant to be part of our culture. That was an important thing that we all knew about. It was on 60 Minutes in 2020 and Dateline and Nightline. They would find the person with the fingernails

and they'd talk about it a few times a year. Keep up with it. They were curling. They were curling at the end. They were just disgusting. Can't do anything with that. Can't conduct

a job or a trade with those things. That's your whole thing to be the fingernails person. There must be money in it. Guess you go around and talk about it. I can't let you get paid to do that, like on a lecture circuit. Not sure what you do.

A North Dakota woman walked into a bar carrying a raccoon last week, leading health officials to issue a warning about possible exposure to rabies. Yeah, so apparently the bartender says, why the long face? And the lady's like, I was possibly exposed to rabies. An Australian man was killed by a kangaroo that he may have been keeping as a pet in the country's first fatal kangaroo attack since 1936. These incidents have become very rare ever since Australia banned semi-automatic kangaroos. And finally, a man in Delmont, Pennsylvania is under arrest after he

took a loaded gun into a Dairy Queen while wearing a yellow safety vest and a rainbow clown wig. He told police he was undercover and working to restore Trump to President King of the United States and that he wanted to kill Democrats and liberals. So congratulations to that guy, Trump's newly proposed special master. When we come back, I think I hear Bernie Sanders at the dining room table putting Ruggles in his pocket. And we're back.

Obviously, we are here to sit Shiva. And this is a somber time for all of us in the love it or leave it community and we will treat this event with the dignity and decorum it deserves and so this is something we are doing solemnly which is tracking her coffins national tour on the uber eats app i don't know why it's on there i was trying to get i was trying to get Shake Shack. Be cool. This is a somber fucking thing. A billionaire is dead. I was trying to get Shake Shack and I realized that I could do both. I could track my Shake Shack order and

the movement of the Queen through the United Kingdom. As you know, the Queen's body is currently traveling, like a comedian drafting off a recent Kimmel appearance, to a host of cities and towns so that British people can say goodbye. Let's check in with her now.

Gasping. What do you think we're gonna do? Zoom in on a fucking corpse? Calm down. It's gonna be light. We're keeping it light. It's not a real shiva. We're not taking this seriously.

We're trying to find a happy medium where no one's gonna really get too mad, except we'll get emails. We're gonna get emails. The emails we get, you wouldn't believe.

It does look like they're still in the general area of Balmoral Castle. I believe they got a late start, and then a caravan was stuck for a time in a Starbucks drive-thru. I'm sorry, a Starbucks lorry hole, as they call them there. But now they're on their way, and we will be checking in with them later. Now, I know we like to have fun here, but a shiva is a serious event in the Jewish faith.

It's a place for loved ones and friends to come together to reminisce, reflect, and text each other later about how the food upset our stomachs. It's like I always say. John, I'm sorry to barge in like this. The stage door was open. I just wanted to say I'm very sorry for your loss. Senator Bernie Sanders, what are you doing here? I have an app on my phone that notifies me of all shivers in a 15

mile radius. It's called Satizen. You know, like the citizen app. It's like citizen, but for sadness. Did we pay that off enough? It's extremely invasive. And by the way, I think we need to regulate these tech companies. But I do find it

useful to building community and locating free bagels. You can help yourself. There's locks over there, too. Is there schmear? Of course there's schmear. Wonderful. Look, I'm just taking a look at the group you've got here. And my guess is that we've lost some sort of beloved character actress.

Has something happened to Catherine Hahn? No. Catherine Hahn is fine as far as we know. We're sitting Shiva for Queen Elizabeth II. For the queen? A Shiva? I'm disappointed, Charles. No, no, I can explain.

Look, you're a working man, technically. pointed, Charles. No, no, I can explain. Look, you're a working man, technically. Do you have any idea how much the royal family costs British taxpayers? $124 million last year alone,

which in pounds comes out to about $60 million. And that is a 17% increase from the previous financial year. The top 1% of the top 10% of the top 1% is costing the 99% another 17.5%. Oh, wow. Those castles belong to the working families, John. Redistribute the corgis. Look, I know.

This is just, you know, this whole thing is just a joke, Senator. A joke? Yeah, some of our writers thought it would be funny. Not me, of course, but what could I do? They outnumber me. Well, this is no time for jokes, John. You and your friends are getting baked

and making fun of King Charles' hot dog fingers. You know what I'm doing? What are you doing? I'm busting my butt trying to shut down Joe Manchin's side deal with Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, who would make it easier for big polluters to get federal approval for new fossil fuel projects. You want to sit shiver for something, sit shiver for the planet. There's a little joke for you.

That's a good one. And I agree, it completely sucks that these permitting reforms would let oil and gas companies rush through more harmful projects, but that's how we got Manchin to back the climate measures in the Inflation Reduction Act. Isn't Schumer just sort of fulfilling a deal? First of all, I don't have a say in this deal, and I think that's fakakta.

You're getting more Jewish by the second, Senator. I just love shivers, John. They're the bar mitzvahs you don't have to dance at. But seriously, we are fighting climate change by giving a huge gift to fossil fuel companies? What sense does that make? None. It makes none sense. Second of all, Schumer never promised Manchin that he'd attach a permitting reform measure to a piece of must-pass government funding legislation like he now says he plans to do.

That's ridiculous. And it's not just me who thinks so, by the way. More than 70 House Democrats have said they oppose these reforms. So what happens at the end of the month? Could progressives force a government shutdown over this? I hope it doesn't come to that. And it shouldn't

have to. You cannot force lawmakers to choose between keeping the government funded and protecting low-income communities from more pollution. That's like forcing somebody to choose between free health care and free college, between Burlington, Vermont, and Bennington, Vermont, between gesturing with the left hand

and gesturing with the right hand. I agree with you. Nobody, nobody, Senator, should have to make those kinds of choices. Not in America, they should. Well, good luck, Senator. I did want to ask you something. You didn't put out a statement about Queen Elizabeth II's death.

I noticed I went to look to see. I thought, I wonder if you're going to feel obliged to say something about the death of Queen Elizabeth II. And there was nothing. No statement. No, there's not going to be. I think that's cool. Look, when Brian May, the last member of Queen, passes away, I'll say something about that.

Well, yeah. Consistent noses brand. Well, Senator, I say good luck to you. I hope you can hash out a compromise, and I'm sorry that we're pretending to mourn the Queen of England instead of chaining ourselves to Chuck Schumer's office. Okay, that was cute. Look, let me just say this.

The Queen did have a good hunch in her last years. Not everybody can pull off the hunch. Hunch recognizes hunch. Thanks for stopping by. Senator Bernie Sanders, everybody. I'm putting extra capers in my pockets for the flight lady. You can't trust the food at LAX. You can't trust it.

You can have a bagel on your way out if you're interested. Thank you so much. Senator Bernie Sanders, everybody. When we come back, gay news. Gay news. And we're back. I'm just sort of thinking about how many times in human history these songs have been played on a bagpipe.

It's like seven? Obviously, all of us are gathered here to mourn the queen. Sometimes in moments of grief, though, it can be helpful to seek out distractions. So let's comfort ourselves with a distraction that is gay news. And lucky for us, we have two hilarious but very sad people who just stopped by to help us. It's Sam Pancake and Brandon Kyle Goodman. Hi, Sam.

Hi, John. Hi, Brandon. Hi, Daddy. Oh, yes. Can I call you Daddy? Sure. Okay, cool. He seems uncomfortable.

He seems uncomfortable. Okay. I'll do it. Question before we begin. At some fundamental level, isn't royalty just very gay? Yes. Yes, it is. It's a lot of pageantry, a lot of performance, a lot of seething truth just beneath the surface.

All of that. The costumery, the gold braid, you know, the epaulets. When I was a kid, in my mind, being a king meant you had the big crown. But the thing that I thought was the coolest thing was like a red velvet cape, and I didn't know what it was. The archetypal thing in my mind was like, it had a fringe which was like white with black dots, which I guess was like leopard or something?

It's ermine. I would have killed for that cape. And I'm also realizing now, it was a need I never spoke aloud. The Queen's death has brought so much forward in all of us. It's a big amount of things. Aren't we lucky?

It's funny, the last time we did this show, you did your rant, and your rant was about the crown. Do you remember that? No, of course not. No, I feel things deeply and briefly. Okay, good, good. It's the only way to stay saint, right? Oh.

All right, well, you all remember how this works. We're going to give you a setup and then each a perfectly crafted punchline. And then we say ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba gay news together. Okay.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba gay news together. Together. Lil Nas X tweeted at Furries to please attend his shows and added, not going to be proud

of myself until there's a big orgy in the audience at one of my concerts. Say what you will about furry orgies. They remain pretty monkey pox safe. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da, gay news.

Gay news. Got my second vax there yesterday. Yeah. Congratulations. Yay, I fuck. As for the orgies, I'd make the same request to the Love It or Leave It audience, but for some reason,

not many people like having sex to the dulcet tones of, what's Trump gotten himself up to this time? Ow. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-duh-buh-duh-buh-bub gay news. In her new show, Gutsy, Hillary Clinton told Megan Thee Stallion this. Oh no. Chelsea follows rap music. She has ever since she was a little girl. But I kind of

came to awareness of you with the Cardi B rap. I always wanted to do a song with Cardi. As soon as she sent me the song, I think I sent it back to her like the next day. And it was just so exciting. The men, they seem so confident in what they're saying and they don't have no problem with talking about their sexuality and how they're going to have sex with you. So I was like, well, I could do that. And it's going to sound fire coming from a

woman. It's great to see women be so fierce. That is my life's mission, to make sure that I'm always unapologetically me. Chelsea follows rap music, y'all. Aren't we lucky? Look, I first came to awareness of you. It's so lovely to come to awareness of all of you. What a normal way to interact with a person. We run into someone, we say, Oh, oh, we came to awareness of each other

at a previous engagement. So nice to come to your awareness once again. With your arms like this and an easel. With acrylics and oils at your fingertips. Chelsea's painting like kind of a nice forest or a glen and Megan is painting a beautiful river and a little well and they go to Hillary's and it's just like the end scene of Event Horizon.

You know? Just a fucking gaping maw into hell. Blood and guts and disgusting. Just a horrible, horrible painting. She's like, I don't even remember painting this. I'm so sorry. I was trying to do a well as well. I thought I was

painting something nice and I didn't even know there was red on the palette. It was trying to do a well as well. I thought I was painting something nice and I didn't even know there was red on the palette. It was just a more cool tones and then I did this. This marks the first time that Hillary Clinton and WAP have appeared to the same sentence since that one speech I got fired for. Hell bang bang. Bada bada bada bada gay news.

The song taught Ben Shapiro about vaginal discharge and Hillary Clinton about herself. If that's not worth an honorary degree, I don't know what is. Bada bada bada b, gay news. The song taught Ben Shapiro about vaginal discharge and Hillary Clinton about herself. If that's not worth an honorary degree, I don't know what is. Bop it up, gay news. Metro UK reported a Reddit rumor claiming an underdog player was able to beat the world chess champion

by using the vibration from wireless anal beads to cheat, or as I like to call it, the Queen's Gambit. Hey! No, no, guys. Everyone, give me a minute. I'm cheating at chess. Checkmate. Boom.

Britney Spears apologized for an Instagram post that declared, I found there's only one way to be thin. Hang out with fat people. Yikes. Okay. This isn't good, but I don't think we can cancel Brittany for something you can buy on a dish towel at TJ Maxx. Her apology read, I'm sorry. It was wrong to suggest I would ever hang out with fat people.

Okay. We tried. Lock her up. Canceled. Out. That's it. Lock her back up. We let her out for a while. It was a privilege on her right, back in you go

Papa Spears, online one I don't make the rules Gay news After decades in the industry, Jennifer Coolidge Walked away with her first Emmy for Best Supporting Actress In a limited or anthology series Once a flamboyant woman Beloved by gays that she's broad-based recognition In middle age, her status as a gay icon is placed into a kind of receivership.

As gays look for someone new who's incredibly talented and unknowable to straight men while radiating a twinge of brokenness or chaos that they're trying to keep at bay just long enough to be cast in an independent film as Aaron Taylor Johnson's mother and the ex-wife of his father who just passed away and left all the money to a child neither of them has ever heard of, which Aaron, who's also making his directorial debut, is hoping to be Zendaya, but that's a long shot given her crazy schedule. Buh-duh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah That's real? What? I bet they got none. Has resigned from her position, quoting an atmosphere of extremism in regards to LGBTQ-related books. She announced in a statement on Facebook, speaking to the threats and extremism and attacks she has personally faced. You know what it's called when a librarian resigns? Quiet quitting.

Anyway, awful, awful story. Gay news! Gay, we don't mean happy. It's time. Representative Glenn Thompson defended voting against the Respect for Marriage Act days before his son's gay wedding, saying of the media attention on the nuptials, It was wrong. It was just absolutely wrong. It's not anybody's business. Bottom line. It was just absolutely wrong. It's not anybody's business.

Bottom line. The only bottom line I better see at a gay wedding is the groom's college friends trying to do the electric slide. How dare you concern yourselves with what happens in people's private lives. Everyone should be free to form relationships and start families as they wish without interference from government or being used to stoke political division. I find it abhorrent when you do it. A far-right party in Italy has expressed outrage at a recent episode of Peppa Pig that features a polar bear child with two moms. According to the right-wing group Brothers of Italy,

the inclusion of a same-sex couple is unacceptable. And if you think these Italian bigots are mad now, just wait until episode two when those dykes put Parmesan cheese on fish. That was my favorite one. That was one of my favorites. Who knew Brothers of Italy was more than just

a subcategory on Pornhub? Not me. Manchester's first openly gay Lord Mayor Carl Austin hyphen Behan, right? Praise the late Queen Elizabeth for... She's dead?

What? No one told me. I didn't see anything about it. For genuinely caring about the LGBTQ community, pointing to her request that an LGBTQ choir perform at the 600-year anniversary of Manchester Cathedral. And for championing the gayest dogs, corgis. Little, little legs running along.

Sure, she may not have supported queer people in any material way, but in a sense, isn't the little things that matter most? The stuff that doesn't matter is what truly matters. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba. Gay news. The internet thrilled at a video of a crashed semi-truck allegedly spilling its cargo of dildos and lube all over Oklahoma's I-40 expressway.

My Amazon order! Guess I'm finishing my screenplay this weekend after all. Okay. Now remember, if you're on that freeway, it's time to get off. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da. Yay, dude. Yay.

JVN and Anthony from Queer Eye tease that they might be dating, only to reveal that their fake relationship is promo for a pet supplement company. You can tell in the crop photo that in the fake announcement,

they were already holding whatever it was they were trying to sell the next day. They were not committed to the bit. No sex tape, no sales bump. I keep suggesting we do something like this to sell the next day. They were not committed to the bit. No sex tape, no sales bump.

I keep suggesting we do something like this to sell mattresses, but Tommy and John and their wives are just not into it. But I just think a campaign about how throuples are very comfortable in a Helix mattress could work really well. I got no bites.

No bites. Buh-duh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-kay news. Demi Lovato announced that her current tour will be her last. She will be de-missed. Buh-duh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. Non-binary news. Yeah. The Supreme Court decided 5-4 to allow a New York ruling to stand for now,

which means Yeshiva University must recognize an LGBTQ organization on campus. This would require the college to provide access to classrooms, a fair booth, and bulletin boards. Said the Pride Alliance, bulletin boards at these prices? Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba. Gay Jews! And finally, the Senate will not vote on a same-sex marriage bill until after the midterms, according to the bill's sponsor,

Tammy Baldwin. Tammy, we're trying to clown on these people to make them look bad on a popular issue for the midterms. Stop trying to pass laws! Ba-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba- trying to pass laws. Thank you so much to Sam and Brandon. Brandon's first book, You Gotta Be You, is out September 27th. Tell us a little bit about the book. The book is a part self-help, part memoir about learning to love the intersections of

one's identity, asking the question, who would I be if society never got its hands on me? And so I hope that it'll inspire anybody out there to really be who you are fully. Did you figure out what you would be absent culture? What's the answer? I've been trying to do the same thing. It's really hard. Yeah, it's hard. I don't have the answer. I'm still figuring it out, but I'm stepping into it. You know, my non-binary identity is part of expanding into it and, you know, being bold and proud and wearing my heels and my skirts or whatever is part of it. So I'm still figuring out to me, it's a journey that should be happening for the rest of your life. You should always be curious.

Amen. Amen. Hear, hear. And if you're in L.A., check out Sam's solo show, Pancakes from the Edge. I like the title. Thank you. I really appreciate the title. Thank you, babe.

I love it. Do you want me to tell you about it? No? Yeah, tell me about it. I have an obsession with the classic masterpiece postcards from the edge of the movie with streep and mclean carrie fisher's book mike nichols and it's uh the show is uh loosely inspired by my obsession with that movie it's characters sketches and stories and me just exploring why it means so much to me but it's just a funny kooky comedy show so come on down that's

all october 8th and 9th check out my ig for. And if you're not, you can see Sam on the Goldbergs and A Million Little Things. Yep. When we come back, I hope a maniac grifter doesn't crash the Shiva. Wow. Bye. And we're back. My Uber app's just buzzed, so it's time to see where in the world is Queen Elizabeth's coffin. Unless it was equipped with rocket boosters or some kind of hover technology,

it would probably still be within the national boundaries of the UK. Based on my in-depth knowledge of the area, my guess is she'll be approaching... Oh, that's right. She's in the Welsh village with the unpronounceable long name. We have had one of our producers practicing how to say the name of this town, and he claims he can do it right now. Introducing the latest addition to the Love It or Leave It family, it's producer Malcolm. Come on out, Malcolm. All right, Malcolm. Tell us, how do you pronounce the name of this town? And you said you can do it, so let's see if you can do it. You one chance to do it here we go i did say that land fair push wingle go gary twin droble lantus ilio go go go hell yeah yes malcolm everybody that

was good that's where she is i just want to say one thing, all right? We Jews know what to do. You die, you go in a box, you're on the fucking ground. That's it. We don't wait, we don't parade you around, we don't leave it open. That makes no sense. We close it, we drop it. That's it.

We're moving so fast, we don't even carve the gravestone. We made a separate holiday for that. Later, get in the fucking ground. You're dead, you're gross. We're in the desert, it's hot. You're getting worse by the second. You're dead. You're gross. We're in the desert. It's hot. You're getting worse by the second. You are gone. This isn't you anymore. This is something else. This goes down

in the ground. We don't parade you around the countryside. That's a good rule we have. Alright, well I'm sorry to say that someone unexpected is here, but it's a Shiva and we look past our differences to bond in our shared sense of loss. Like I was saying, the tradition of the Shiva is an ancient one. And...

Oh, no, I think I heard something. They arrested my phone! Oh, no! They arrested my phone! My phone has been arrested! Oh, my goodness, it's my pillow CEO, Mike Lindell. Why are you crashing this? My most sacred of fake comedy shivas for Queen Elizabeth. Because they arrested my phone, John. The FBI, they surrounded me at my religious institution,

the Hardee's in Mankato, Minnesota. I'm bereft and without recourse. I've just been trying door handles and barging into establishments to scream about the injustice. I run all my 18 businesses out of that phone, John. And like all not Doreen's people, I run 18 businesses.

Yeah, when someone tells you they've got 18 businesses, it makes you very suspicious. I'm not suspicious. That's twice the number nine. What's wrong with that? Nothing's wrong with that. It's actually good luck in Judaism, actually, 18. There you go.

Double times good luck. They took my phone. Yeah, they did. Aren't you still doing your streaming show, The Lindell Report? Clearly people can hear you there. Sure, but the only people who watch that are freaks. I need the entire world to know my side of the sick, twisted machinations of the deep state and their lapdogs, the FBI.

Well, we've already seen the clip because it's hilarious. So let's show it again. The FBI came after me and took my phone. They surrounded me at a Hardee's and took my phone. I run all my business, everything with. It's disgusting. I don't have a computer. Everything I do, I have that phone. I run all my business, everything with. It's disgusting. I don't have a computer. Everything I do, I have that phone.

Everything was on there. And they told me not to tell anybody. How am I in two places at once? John, that's a good looking fella. Everything I just said there, what's the problem with it? It's a record. That was a recording. It's images of the past.

I don't actually know how video works. I'm realizing it goes through a computer chip and becomes light. I don't actually know how video works. I'm realizing it goes through a computer chip and becomes light. I don't use computers. Those sick bastards releasing a recording of me describing my most traumatic moment. That is your show. That's you doing it. You recorded that. What is happening?

They seized my phone, John. If the FBI can seize my phone, think about what else they can seize, like voting machines, for instance. All right. Well, that's funny you should say that, Mike, because you did lend a hand in an attempt to seize control of the vote in Colorado. The FBI swarmed that hardy specifically because you campaigned for former county clerk Tina Peters, who is currently facing criminal charges in Colorado for tampering with voting machinery. She had to be removed from her position. Peters basically attempted to seize the voting machines.

OK, but when my side seizes something, it's cool, love it. Look at me. I was built to seize. I seize all the time, in part because the metal plate that's up in my head, which I put there myself. No quack doctor's going to tell me how to protect a blood-brain barrier. I also did that at Hardee's, by the way, the surgery.

This is a side point, but it's funny to say that they weaponized the FBI. The FBI came pre-weaponized. You know what I mean? That's the whole point. They are weaponized. That's an unfair fight. All I had was a Western bacon in both pockets.

Just save for later? No, I always come strapped. I carry a Western bacon. There's no other way to disarm a man with the western bacon and a little extra of that ranch sauce. They got a good ranch. All right, well, thank God Peter's lost her election in Colorado and will hopefully be facing actual legal consequences. Of course,

you'd say that, John, as a member of the anti-Christian Illuminati. Just say Jewish. We gotta keep moving. Open a gay comedy funeral for somebody's grandma. I'm dealing with real life, John. You aren't. You really aren't. I spent $40 million of my own money fighting this fraudulent election.

I've lodged multiple lawsuits against the voting machine companies. I even got sued by Dominion. The voting machine sued me. A machine walked into court just like Rosie the maid from the Jetsons. And that machine took me to darn court right there. Like Rosie, a voting machine,

walked into court and said, beep, boop, bop, I'm suing. Yep, and filed paperwork and everything. You ever been served papers by a Jetsons cartoon? Sounds traumatic. Does she have a printer? Does she print them? It doesn't matter.

It's a dot matrix printout. It's a dot matrix. They've got the little holes on the side. You've got to pull them off. You've got to rip it off. That's funny because it's from the future, but it's sort of like retro future because it's how they thought. We didn little holes on the side of the page. You've got to pull them off. You've got to rip it off. That's funny, because it's from the future, but it's sort of like retro future, because it's how they thought.

We didn't know what the future would look like. We didn't know what the future was going to look like, so it has the dots along the side. It's a talking robot. It can sue people in court, but it still has the dots

along the side. We thought democracy would stay true the way we knew it, where every man in the county would walk up. Well, one out of ten of every men in the county

would walk up if you owned property, and you would mark an X in the Bible would walk up. Well, one out of ten of every men in the county would walk up if you owned property, and you would mark an X in the Bible. And that was it. And your side always won. And your side always won. Your side always won. And one other thing. They don't talk about it enough. The Jetsons are supposed to be utopian,

but every once in a while they would go down, and you realize it's all smoke down there. That they were escaping from what was beneath. And they don't talk about it. That's where the working man is making pillows! There's smoke down there from crack and from honest hard work and industry. The liberal elite has

their skyscrapers up there. But I mean, they're still making widgets. And their vote machines that they send after you. FBI vote machine robot made. The point is finding a transition to get back to whatever we were supposed to be. We're on page 94.

Yep, it's a 100-page show tonight. You want me to lie to the nation and tell them you didn't do those things, that you didn't deserve to have your phone seized? No, just stop telling people I was eating at a Hardee's. It does feel like the last grab at pleasure by a desperate man. I love Hardee's. There's no feeling of relief like going into a Hardee's.

Hey, no one can judge me. They're also inside of the Hardee's. But to have the whole darn nation know that's too much, even for my audience of gargoyles and incubi, it's bad for the brand, John. One time I was walking home in D.C. and it was a Friday night at 8 p.m. and I just got an extra large soda and a bucket of chicken from Popeyes and I walked into a group of people I knew who also worked in Congress and they walked up to me and they said, what are you up to tonight? And then they saw what I was holding and I said, not much.

That sounds like a party. Throw in an eight ball and I call it a happy meal. The world knowing you're out of heart is bad for your brand, but I don't really understand what your brand is, Mike. My brand is business madman who, in the back of your mind, you know at some point was fueled by cocaine, but now claims to not be fueled by the same cocaine. But you don't usually trust him because his commitment to the Trump bit seems so complete.

And also I sell pillows. That's the brand. How's the pillow business going? I'm a multi-millionaire, John, in pillows. Michael and Del, everybody. Hey, seriously, yo. I'm sorry that your grandma died. Thanks for having me. I love the Jews.

I love them. I love Jared Kushner. I love Ross from Friends! Get out of here! Mike Lindell, everybody. And one more time for James Adomian. You can catch him in Bar Harbor, Maine, September 30th to October 2nd, and at the

Altercation Comedy Festival in Austin, October 20th. When we come back, shivas revolve around food, and it's time we finally put Jewish food against its main competitor, British food. And we're back! If there's one thing the British and the Jews have in common, it's the delicious baseness of our cuisine.

But both communities have had their share of culinary flops, I'm sorry to say. Let's see which of the world's two favorite types of food, both which revolve around the best way to cook meat, boiling. It's the wonderful Guy Branum and the hilarious Zach Schiffman. Come on out. It's a shiva. I brought rugelach.

Thank you. Thank you for bringing something, Guy. Makes everyone else look very bad, but that's okay. I brought chocolate chip and raspberry because some old ladies think that chocolate chip isn't real rugelach. I like old ladies with opinions. They're from Cantor's.

It is good. Cantor's does a good rugelach. Although I will say there's something that happens with chocolate rugelach that's very specific, which is it's the party rugelach, it's the child's rugelach, it's the candy rugelach. And so you'll have your fruit-flavored rugelach and they'll be sweet, but the chocolate rugelach, they'll gild the lily and so they'll make a chocolate, and then they're swirling chocolate on top, they're dipping it on chocolate, they're going too far with it.

John, what I'm hearing is you're one of the old ladies who doesn't believe the chocolate roguelette are a real roguelette. No, I love them. Yeah, but then when you have Nutella roguelette, you're like, well, no, keep the chocolate, that's better. Yeah, Nutella roguelette is blasphemy. That's a Christmas tree in a Jewish home.

You have to know Nutella is probably, they were probably implicit in the Holocaust in some way. You know, the way like Krups was. They like tested, Mengele tested Nutella. Yes. Like whatever. No, it's a really important point that not enough people are talking about.

All right, let's see the bracket. All right, here's how it works. It's oy versus oy. Oy versus oy. Oy. You want to take a shot at the title? Oy versus oy. Am I supposed to say it? You'll do

a better job than me. Oy versus oy. Oy versus oy. That's how you become a movie star. All right. So here's how it works. We're going to run through these brackets, and we're going to start. We've got British food versus Jewish food, and we're going to see what takes the main title. First up, jellied eels versus gefilte fish. What's better?

Jellied eel sounds like something you have to pee on yourself after eating. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah. What do you think, Guy? I think that gefilte fish, let's be honest, has its own natural jelly when you get it in a jar. It's hard because this entire board is full of Jews, and so we're all going to resent eels for being a non-kosher fish,

but I would also say that eels are full of all of the industrial revolution that has flown into the Thames, so I'm going to go gefilte fish. All right, that's a good argument. Let's do it. Gefilte fish. We like it.

Gefilte fish. Thank you to Malcolm, who's taken over the jury-rigged godforsaken bracket system, first pioneered by Brian Semel and passed off like intergenerational trauma

to Malcolm who's now running the PowerPoint. It's unbelievable. Next up, we have digestive biscuits versus hamantaschen. Look, I know we've been

biased so far, but what are we? Come on, we're not, we're adults here. We're not going to say fucking biscuits. Okay, here's the thing. I have to recuse myself because as John knows well, he put me in this situation. I am now an unofficial official ambassador for the California Prune Board.

And Hamantaschen, of course, are one of the few great forums for prunes. Yeah. So I'm going to have to step back and say you boys decide. Recuse yourself, yeah. A lot of other cookies, desserts, they've deplatformed and canceled prunes. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and hamantaschen also, that is where chocolate is not allowed, too. I completely agree.

It's all about that prune. It's prune and apricot is to me like, that's your sweet spot. I also, every once in a while you'll see a poppy and it's like, what are we doing here? I'm not testing positive on a drug test for this. Yeah. I think we got to give it to hamantaschen. Digestive biscuits, I've been over there. Next up, I mean, look,

I know we're clearly biased, but it's scones versus bagels. Come on. Does anybody want to make an argument for scones? Yeah, I actually will. Scones, I think, are like, scones are like a 4pm thing. Maybe, right? I don't know. What time is it in England? There's no way to know.

I also think that Gentiles have really co-opted bagels in a way that I can't get behind anymore. And I think that scones, the Brits still own that, where we don't really own bagels anymore. Yeah, we've lost control. That's a really great point. I've had a bagel in St. Cloud, Minnesota. And let me tell you, that's not the experience your bubby was intending. But I've never had a scone that wasn't dry. Let's be honest.

What's the audience feeling? I'm going to just... Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, hey. Check their hair color before they vote. I'm going to say scones and I'm going to say bagels. Don't go over the top. Don't try to, you know, scones.

Bagels. I don't think it was close bagels next up bangers and mash versus brisket okay i'll defend bangers and mash here okay first let me talk shit about brisket um brisket done well is a beautiful thing but there's a lot of not done well that is going on out there there is a lot of not done well that is going on out there. There is a lot of recipes being handed down generation to generation that begin with, well, you're going to need a half cup of ketchup and a cup of water. And those people

are what hold us back as a community. Where bangers and mash are filled with the stuff that clogs your arteries in the most beautiful way. It is death on a plate. It is the sublime grace of smoking a cigarette, but in food form.

I'm bangers and mash. Wow, that was persuasive to me. Okay, I'm going to need a timestamp of whenever you dishonor my mom's brisket recipe of Heinz ketchup and water and carrots. And it's incredibly chewy. It's a jaw exercise, and I think it's perfect in every way and i'm gonna honor my mother who's alive and we'll listen to this and we'll cry tears that

she'll put in the brisket after this for brisket um first of all i just want to say that i feel a similar challenge in discussing this topic right now honestly because my mother is also listening and here's the thing i think mom listen just skip 45 seconds forward i was a full-fledged adult we were in a post 9-11 world when i found out that brisket wasn't what i thought it was when i found out that brisket was not what it was in my home, the recipe handed down on a piece of paper that was wrong. This is about what we're doing to brisket, not what brisket can be, you know? And so I have to say, it's also like, yeah, it's like, oh, how is it both wet and dry at the same time? It's so wet and so dry and so sweet and so not.

It's bangers. It's bangers and mash. It's bangers and mash. Honestly, Fran, you and I both know you take absolutely no pride in this. Next up, we have Worcestershire versus horseradish. Worcestershire. Worcestershire.

Worcestershire. How do you say it? Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Worcestershire. Do British people just say Worcestershire?

Worcestershire sauce? I don't know. Wait, am I just thinking of the city in Boston where they blaspheme? In Boston, it's Worcester. So that's right. Worcester, all right.

It's in that area of the country. It's in the Duncan Red Sox zone. The Duncan Red Sox. There are too many of you here. I don't feel safe. Boston is not a queer space, so everybody chill out. I went to college in Boston, and when they found out I was

gay, they were like, yeah, graduate. Boston's gay neighborhood is Providence, Rhode Island. It's a good gay neighborhood, though. Worcestershire or horseradish? I'll take a second to dishonor my mom after I just offended her. My mom can't taste spice,

and so she likes to show off at restaurants, and horseradish is something that like she can eat a cup of horseradish and she like likes to prove it to like waiters that she can do it and she like obviously doesn't tell anyone she just like wants to be impressive to someone who is making minimum wage and so I have a complicated relationship with horseradish

because to me I see it as like a test of skill of my mother's so I'll pick horseradish because like Bloody Mary whatever and it's not haunting I like that and now now question, does that also affect things like, could she eat a Carolina Reaper pepper? Yeah, she could eat anything. She's like, I can taste it on my lips. That's cool.

Can we get your mom on hot ones? When she's participating in your high school's hot wing competition contest and it's all kids and her, you don't want that. Did that happen? Yeah. That's cool. You have a cool mom. I hear brisket's good. You have a cool mom. Yeah. I hear a brisket's good.

What do you think? Worcestershire or horseradish? I mean, I think that there is a reason that crane rhymes with pain. That's the Russian and Yiddish word for horseradish. All Russian Jewish food is based on the premise that life shouldn't be good. That this is what we get. And I love horseradish,

but I'm going to say Worcestershire sauce is like such a beautiful source of umami in the Northern European palate, and also a great way to accidentally make something not vegan. It's it. Worcestershire sauce wins. Anchovies.

Next up. Oh, wait, what's it made from? It has anchovies in it. That's why it's good. That's why Alison Roman loves it. A full English breakfast versus a Passover Seder dinner. I think this is easy, actually. There's a reason the Passover Seder dinner is only something you have once a year.

You know? You're never like, oh, you know what I could go for? Maror. No, you never say that. What's the... Haroset.'s the... Wow. Haroset I would have if it was around more.

It's an interesting specific thing. But it's not something I don't pine for it. And if I wanted to make it happen, I would. We live in a rapacious capitalist system. And if it was something people did want all year round, we'd have it all year round. Same thing applies to candy corn. There's a place in Brooklyn that has

haroset year round for like $14. If you want it. Cool. Yeah, it's not good. Brooklyn. I always make a Sephardic haroset and like regular Jews always yell at me about how they miss the apple stuff, but mine is delicious. Here's the thing ladies and gentlemen.

Sure, have your full English breakfast, your warmed up tinned beans, your black sausage, which is actually kind of good, black pudding. A full English breakfast is fine, but a Passover Seder done properly is Jewish womanhood at its greatest height. It's saying, I'm going to tie one hand behind my back. I am going to give up all chametz and I am going to make a magnificent meal for my family while complying with an absurd

number of rules. And that to me is the beauty of our people. I will stand by the Seder until I die. Wow. I mean, you can't get beyond the theatrics of a Seder. I mean, that's honestly where most Jews learn to act, is like throwing frogs at dinner. When you're going around the circle and it's your time to read, oh, you got to bring it.

You got to bring it. You got to really perform. Is there a Jim Henson Seder? Like, it's really fun. There should be one. And if there isn't, we'll have to make one. Nonetheless, here's the thing. The English breakfast comes with toast.

Full English breakfast wins. thing the english breakfast comes with toast full english breakfast wins next up we have scotch eggs versus smoked fish scotch eggs woof scotch eggs are a magical turducking of again artery clogging deliciousness it is oatmeal sausage and a boiled egg. Once you've eaten that, you're like, fuck, I sure have eaten. I, for the sake of diversity and to make the show interesting, will say Scotch Eggs. Please don't hold it against me, Smoked Fish. You have taken care of me so many times. Scotch Eggs reminds me of the golden sauce at a hibachi restaurant. That's what it always feels like.

And that is too much, I think. So I have to pick smoked fish. Yes, how do you feel, Zach, about smoked fish on a cinnamon raisin bagel? Oh, like the Cynthia Nixon? Yes, it is the Cynthia Nixon. Although, I want to hear what you have to say first, and then I'll have something to say. I think do as you please.

Yeah, that's right. I think if you, I mean, we choose to put raisins in anything we want. Why should we police it here? I agree. I'm giving it to Smokefish. I'm sorry. We're not going to abide by scotch eggs. I'm sorry.

No, thank you. No. Who's supporting scotch eggs? The Boston people. It's the same Boston people. Ugh. Yeah, you're as joyless as the British. And also, the bagels in Boston, by the way, are disgusting.

They're all bad. They don't know what they're doing. Couples, disgusting. They don't know what they're doing in Boston. A sign of just how depraved a place Boston is, you brag about Dunkin' Donuts, a national chain. It's like, oh, you know what my favorite local restaurant is? McDonald's, you fucking freaks.

You wonder if you're constantly beating each other up. Next up, Spotted Dick versus Chopped Liver. Spotted Dick for me is just a joke from the film King Ralph. Have you ever had Spotted Dick? I do know this one. He says Spotted Dick and Ralph looking at bangers and mash said, who's dick? Thank you.

You know what? This is a good time to talk about King Ralph. The entire royal family is electrocuted. That's how that movie begins. A terrible, terrible, imagine what would have happened. All of them electrocuted at once in a photo. Next thing you know, John Goodman is the king. And guess what?

He learns to be good at it. No, I've never seen it. I've never had Spotted Dick. I almost thought Spotted Dick was like a bad monkeypox joke. Or a good monkeypox joke. Or, yeah. I get my monkeypox vaccine

as an optimist. Guy, what do you think? Nobody loves a boiled pudding episode of the Great British Baking Show more than I do. That said, it's chopped liver. Chopped liver is like elegant and lovely. Fried onions, one of our hardest working culinary

survivors, really has some of its greatest moments in chopped liver. Chopped liver. Okay. You have to honor the refrain too of like, what am I, chopped liver? Like there's not, what am I, spotted dick? That's right. That's true. Okay. You have to honor the refrain, too, of, like, what am I, Chopped Liver? Like, there's not, what am I, spotted dick. That's right, that's true. What am I, Chopped Liver? What does it mean?

Chopped Liver wins. All right. Now we're in the one that has eight in it. Eight, eight. The elite eight. The quarterfinals. Semi-quarterfinals. All right.

Now the points really matter. We're going to go fast. Gefilte Fish versus Hamantaschen. I mean, come on. What are we doing here? Hamantaschen. Come on. Gefilte Fish, get out of here with this.

Disgusting. Don't exist anymore. Fine by me. Gefilte Fish hat. Oh, my God. Yeah. Next up, bagels versus bangers and mash. It's carbs versus meat.

Bagels. Wow. Not even close. Bagels. Bagels. I am actually, honestly, genuinely proud of how well Jewish food is doing today. I did not know how well it was going to do. And it's funny because it's famously bad, but not as famously bad as British food.

Worcestershire sauce versus a full English breakfast. Come on. Worcestershire. What? No, I think it's a full English. I think it's a full English. I'm hearing some dissensus. Full English? Full English. Worcestershire. What? No, I think it's a full English. I think it's a full English. I'm hearing some dissensus. Full English?

Full English. Worcestershire sauce. I'm going to give it to Worcestershire sauce. Yeah. You all like Bloody Marys, whatever. It goes on a lot of things. It's a little thing. Hey, hey.

First of all, your shushing was louder than her. You shushed so fucking loud that whatever she was doing was not nearly as distracting as the way you shush. And that's something you need to think about when you go home. Talk about that on the way home.

That she thought she had to shush you, but she was the disturbance. You were fine. And I want you to know that when you talk about this leaving, that moment, you were right,

you were wrong. Next up. Next up. Next up, we have smoked fish versus chopped liver. The thriller in Tel Aviv. The striper in Hypa. Smoked fish versus chopped liver. What do you think? I think it's versus chopped liver What do you think? I think it's for chopped liver Just because smoked fish

Kind of also is a Nordic thing And chopped liver is uniquely Jewish They're both salty But like I'm gonna pick the salty Or Jewish-ier thing I mean here's the thing You guys are inclined to go with smoked fish Because it does so many things for us

What I'm saying about chopped liver Is she can't do everything But what she does She does with such style. You gotta love her. She's the nanny named Fran named Chopped Liver. Chopped Liver wins. She's the nanny named Fran.

Wow. She's the nanny named Fran. Alright, now here we are. The quarter, the final four in Oi vs. Oi. In Oi vs. Oi. Ham oy versus oy. In oy versus oy. Hamantaschen versus bagels.

It's sweet versus savory. Carb versus carb. Bagels versus hamantaschen. Zach, where's your head at? Yeah, 100% hamantaschen. Gas from me and the crowd. 100% hamantaschen. Yeah, I think I came out anti-bagel earlier.

He did. That's very true. It's the Bucknell of this thing. Surprised it got this far, but people are excited and rooting for it. Here's the thing I don't understand about basketball. Why are you people always fucking excited that Gonzaga made it to the final 16?

Gonzaga is always making it there and you guys are always surprised. Gonzaga. Gonzaga? I don it there. And you guys are always surprised. Gonzaga. Gonzaga? I don't know. I only know here once a year. Guy, what do you think? I mean, bagels are going to win, but I will say one year my mom decided to put a buttermilk glaze on the hamantashen.

And it was a little much, but it was also great. I'm giving it to bagels. We tried. Chopped liver versus Worcestershire sauce. It's earthy, it's savory versus earthy and savory. It is umami on umami. Umami, that's a fight. Oimami versus oimami.

Yes. And both of these are things that if they get anywhere near you, you taste it for the rest of your life. If you're in a room with chopped liver, you're like, there was chopped liver. Did I eat chopped liver? What do you think? Wow. I think we gotta go

Worcestershire sauce. I think we have to. I think we have to. I'm sorry. I think we just have to. Alright, now look. A lot of people expected this to be the final. In the great food fight between Jewish cuisine and British cuisine. Oy versus oy. We have bagels versus Worcestershire sauce.

Obviously two things easy to compare to one another. Here's what I'll say. Bagels, you have them more than three days in your house. You're like, ugh. Worcestershire sauce can sit in your refrigerator for five, seven years and still be there but you're probably going to accidentally throw it away in the intervening years and then you're going to have a recipe that calls for it and you're not going to have it and

you're going to you will miss it you will miss it so I think after talking myself into that corner I'm going to say Worcestershirevity is not the coolest thing about a food. We can eat honey from the Egyptians. That is cool. I'm convincing myself. Oh no, I Ben Shapiro'd myself. I debated myself into

this position. Nonetheless, I don't think we can trust a food you move with. You know, there's that box that came with you. It's been with you for four fucking houses. Also, it has the paper around it. Doesn't Worcestershire sauce have the paper? I don't like that. I don't like that.

It doesn't need to be there. It doesn't make any sense. And I just don't think that with everything that's going on in the world, rising anti-Semitism, authoritarianism on the march, I'm not going to give it to some kind of British sauce. Not with everything that's going on. Look, I agree that what the Thomas people did to bagels is morally reprehensible. What the freezer did to bagels is ugly and shameful.

The worst would be gluten-free, of course. Yes, these are horrible things. I'm sorry. It's just deal with it. But a bagel at its prime, the quintessential bagel, that's what we're talking about. Oh, hey, hey, I would like to throw a wrench right now, New York or Montreal.

I knew you were going to say New York. I knew you were going to fucking bring Montreal bagels into this. And while it is true, my parents, who are impressed by fucking nothing, also why I host this podcast, when I tell you I marched them into the fucking Oval Office, nothing. When I tell you, I marched them into the fucking Oval Office, nothing.

When I tell you when they ate a Montreal bagel in my fucking house, they were like, that's impressive. That's really something. Wow, we're so proud of you. You got us this kind of bagel. So we're going to give it to bagels. And that is Oi vs. Oi. Thank we're going to give it to bagels. And that

is Oi vs. Oi. Thank you so much to Guy and Zach. See Guy on October 8th in Seattle and go watch Bros opening September 30th. Guys and Bros. Go see Bros in the theaters, please. See it in the goddamn fucking theaters and go listen to season one of Zach's podcast, The Heart She Whistles. Season two is coming soon.

Yeah, eventually. It's not self-help. It's a self-help audio book that's a podcast. Nice. Check it out. Guy and Zach, thank you both so much. We'll be right back. And we're back. Okay, my Shake Shack is almost here,

and I think Lizzie should be arriving at her final resting place as well, so let's take a look at the Queen Tracker one more time. Oh, and it looks like the Queen's coffin is being turned away at the Irish border, so it may cause some delays. Remember, if you're in line to see a dead queen, stay in line.

It looks like the queen's coffin has crossed the water it is amphibious a subtle nod to the fact that her whole genetic line does have gills

one note if you didn't already know Love It or Leave It is recording live at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles every week our next lineup

includes Mitra Jahari Jean-Marco Seresi Brian Bahi, and the host of Dare We Say. For tickets, we have great shows lined up all through the rest of the year. For tickets to this show or to see if we're coming to you soon,

head to cricket.com slash events. And now it's time for a segment we call the rant wheel. You know how it works. The wheel will spin and whatever it lands on will be absolutely destroyed by whoever recommended it. On the wheel this week, this humidity. People who won't date actors. Or if this action, severance was robbed, the Don't Worry Darling press tour, Armenia, outdoor workout parks, and the search for intelligent life.

Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on the Don't Worry Darling press tour. Guy Branum, what did you think about it? It is Oscar season, and we are all asking ourselves, what will the greatest film of the year be? Will it be The Fablemans? Will it be The Whale? Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest film of 2022 is the Don't Worry Darling press tour. The drama.

The glamour. Olivia being served with papers. Harry spitting on Chris Pine. Yes, everyone tells you it's fake. Chris Pine has never been that good. Miss Flo strutting across the Lido

in her perfect purple short suit, holding an Aperol spritz in her hand to let everyone know that she was not traveling. She was just fucking over Olivia Wilde for being an asshole to her. I am spent. I am done. It is all the entertainment I need, except for bros coming out September 30th in a theater near you. Guy, I have to tell you something, which is we went out to dinner this week. Yes. Olivia Wilde was at the restaurant.

No! Yeah. Really? Uh-huh. One of us should have given her papers. We should have served her. Should have just slipped. Yeah.

Did you see her and not tell me because I might make a scene? No, no. But I ran into somebody and they said that she was inside and then I forgot to tell you. Oh, but also it would be good in future if that happens to not tell me because I would make a scene. Well, I didn't know what you would do with the information. That's

certainly true. All right, let's spin it again. It has landed on outdoor workout parks, Zachary. You know, it's the end of summer. I guess it's always summer here. But, you know, it's people, and I'm all for equitable, you know, access to exercise equipment, whatever. But, you know, California has Venice Beach. There's all these little outdoor workout parks everywhere across the country. And I think it's sick and depraved.

I think put four walls around that. I think we don't have to see that. You don't have to make me see that. I'm small, and I don't want to do your little pull-ups on your little thing. You're a big man. Do it somewhere inside. And also, none of these people are people who need equitable access to workout materials. They're all people who just want to show off in a public

park, and they want everyone to see that they can do these little tricks. No, no, no. I don't want your little tricks. I don't want your little calisthenic hookups or whatever, roundabouts. I don't care. You're not a gymnast. You're a man who is a little too strong. And that's unnatural.

And I, you know, I'm a little upset by it because, you know, children are in these parks and these parks should be for children and playgrounds. And when I was a young person who didn't know I was gay, I would go on YouTube and I would watch videos of men working out in parks. And I would think, oh, this is so fun to watch. I wonder why I like this so much. now as an adult gay man I think you're putting porn in the parks okay not to pull you're not to go all like you know

like mag or whatever but like let's get let's think of this about the children for one second and they're putting porn in the parks by working out and making me horny in the park say more about that So what? So it seems like it's you're horny and you're angry Yeah And do you talk about this with like a therapist

or someone to work through it? My therapist quit on me because she works at a school now She likes kids more than I mean I'm like trying to support the kids

and she left me for kids That's tough My therapist is on maternity leave So she wants a kid I mean they've got to stop She said we could do one session during

her maternity leave, and I already spent it. You should have saved her for what, the day she gave birth. Let's spin it again. It has landed on orifice action, I believe suggested by Brandon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, all right. I'm happy to have this opportunity to say that i think i can't stand men who don't eat ass or pussy or bussy anybody else you know motherfuckers want to put a dick in a hole but don't want to lick a hole and it's giving selfish babe you know and in that selfishness to me somebody has to say you don't know how to fuck you know because sex should be a two-way street, you know? It's about a mutual respect, mutual orgasms, mutual pleasure, correct? And if that's not your energy, you don't know how to fuck. And any men that are quiet in this audience, I'm talking about you, baby, okay?

Okay? But it's all right. I'm going to teach you, you know? I'm going to help you. I'm not just going to drag you. I'm not looking at you. I know you eat ass, yes? You eat all of to help you. I'm not just going to drag you. I'm not looking at you. I know you eat ass, yes? You eat all of it, right?

I'm not just going to drag you. I am going to teach you how to do this, okay? I'm going to teach you. I'm going to save some holes tonight. You can call me Captain Ameri-hole. Oh, okay. Avengers assemble. Okay, anyways.

Nice. The hole is a door, okay? The hole is like a door, okay? When you go to somebody's house, you don't just bust through their door. You knock first, correct? Because if you didn't, that's rude as fuck. So consider licking somebody's hole your version of knocking, you know? So lick it

like this. You say, hello, it's me, Brandon. And I brought you flowers. And you can finger a little bit, you know what I'm saying? Come on, you gotta be nice to the hole, and that way you can get yourself into the hole, and the pussy, it's a nice hot cup of tea. You know what I'm saying? Come on. You got to be nice to the hoe. And that way you can get yourself into the hole. And the pussy done. It's a nice hot cup of tea.

Do you know what I'm saying? Anyways, it's 2022. I believe in my worth. I believe in my power and what I deserve. And what I deserve is to sit on somebody's face. And everybody in here deserves to sit on somebody's face. And the next time a man tells you he don't eat ass you say if you don't eat ass on that dick i'm a pass okay if you won't play with my hole i ain't playing with your pole okay if this kitty cat you

won't lick baby i ain't never sitting on that dick don't be a wussy eat that pussy thank you it's important it's important Thank you for telling us that. You know, I always say, you know, when God closes a door, he opens a window. Fair, fair. Let's spin it again. People who won't date actors. I think this is proposed by, it might be by an actor named Sam Pancake. It might be. It might be. So, okay, so here's the thing, like,

you hear all the time, like, don't date an actor. I won't date an actor. And I've always been, you're right. But wait a minute. I'm an actor. I want people to date me. And then this week, Tuesday at therapy, there was this guy I was working with. He was kind of cute and I was like, he likes me, whatever, let him fuck me. But, like, I was, I said to my therapist, like, I don't know.

There's, like, the good guy he seemed like there's like the good guy to date and there's a guy who's actually interesting and exciting and you only really have sex with y'all know how it is and then my therapist like don't date him because he's an actor and i'm like but then again here's the thing here's what i'm saying to you to my therapist to everyone here like i'm an actor and that's a good thing because a i'm verse as a gay man if y'all know what that means i can top and i bottom i eat all the things. I eat all the things and I enjoy them all if they're all, you know, like on a male, mostly. And then also, not

even especially for the purposes of sex, I have a portion of the garage dedicated to costumes, props, wigs, things, and that and such because I'm an actor and I do sketch and improv and shit. I have a pirate costume. I can be a cowboy. I can be a cowboy.

I can be a police officer. I can do voices. I could be this guy. Because he's kids these days. Let me tell you, first of all, side rant, again with the gay ageism, all the memes and the stories and the things and the bullshit like on that uncoupled show.

Hooray, I love everyone. Hooray for uncoupled. Hooray. But here's the thing. It goes from like, I'm a gay man over 30. I'll never fuck again. I'm a gay man over 40. You'll never fuck again. I'm a gay man over 40. You'll never have sex. I'm a gay man over

50 meme. And it's like Gollum sitting in an Easter basket to the VIP. And like all of it's not true. Frankly, y'all, this isn't being recorded, right? I've never fucked more. And I'm crawling toward my late 50s, okay? You know who wants to sit on this beard? The twinks. I can't

keep them away. I'm getting more than ever. I came of age in AIDS. I didn't get to have all the sex I wanted to. Guess what I'm having now? Thank you, prep. I can do voices. I can dress as Sofia Petrillo because we do the Golden Girls Live. Ha ha ha you say? No less than three times

one bachelorette lady after the show wanted to get a picture of me dressed as Sofia Petrillo. She leans over and she kisses me on the cheek brand and then she leans over again and she gives me a little close to my mouth and then she sticks her tongue in my mouth i'm a gay man dressed as sofia petrillo from the golden girls and starts just macking down on me and i was like no thank you two other times two very attractive men one who i hooked up with once another was this fling i had this cutie in his 20s. Both of them were like, after the Golden Girls, will you fuck me while

you're dressed as Sofia Petrillo? And I said, chiefly, no, because chiefly, I'm hot and sweaty and it's a lot of work playing Sofia, especially if you're me. And then, there was something else about a blowjob. It might be too graphic, because I'm remembering now this is

being recorded, but yes to what Brandon said and yes to all this and I worked with Chris Pine twice this summer, whatever, who cares who's counting? He's pretty awesome. Also, Chris Pine

is very talented. I was making a joke. I apologize to Chris Pine. I know, I'm kidding. He listens. He listens every week and then sends an email with the parts

he laughed out loud about. I get an email like, this part, I like this part, didn't like this part, like this part, this part. See you later, Jay. I'm negging him to create a sense of tension between the two of us so I can make my move. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Armenia.

And I love that the first thing I heard was someone in the crowd go, oh, no. This is going to be hilarious. I asked to talk about this. Oh, I'm glad it came up on the random wheel for me. I can't hide it. My name is James Adomian. I am Armenian. I'm a quarter Armenian.

Or in Armenian, you would say, yes, quarter I am. And it's tough because we got invaded this week, not in Glendale or East Hollywood, but like in Armenia, in Hayastan, an invasion, a proper invasion, a proper invasion, rockets, drones, artillery, special forces, a full attempt to take over the country and finish the armenian genocide and my big beef is as much as the war crimes hurt that the turks commit over and over again against armenians every time it happens i have to drop what i'm doing and stop the comedy and talk about it so that's my big personal beef with it erdogan and aliyev uh intersecting with my comedy career now i don't want to lean into that too far, because some people are like, James, that's the funniest part of your whole persona.

I will say, it's tough to make comedy out of the Armenian genocide of 1915 and the one that they're trying to do again. I thought about it, and I thought about it, and I thought about it, and it's like, what do you want, a song and dance number? Someone's going to be angry no matter what. In 1915, the Turks had a tiff.

The Sultan sat down and said, hey, what if we kill 1.5 million killed? If you don't count the Greeks, who would? The best I could try, the best I could try. I will also say this. I really appreciate people who are not Armenian who care about what's happening with their support and telling other people and so forth. So in that sense, pointedly, I do not appreciate the U.S. media

for leaving out coverage completely. But at least they're not as bad as the BBC. The BBC is like, Armenia, a place far beyond the boundaries of empathy. What is Armenian, human or other? But I will say this, you know, it hurts a little bit when there's attempts to erase a people that you're a part of

and people don't care. And, you know, Americans, we like to think we're freedom loving. It's like, but it feels like sometimes if you're Armenian, you're in the movie Casablanca and you're begging Rick from Rick's Cafe. You're like, help me, Rick. You've got to help me.

We need the papers of transit, Rick. But the character Rick in the real world never changes. There's never an arc versus the Armenians. He's always just like, well, let me tell you, sweetheart, I've got to look at both sides. As much as you're beautiful, I don't see any oil pipelines coming out of your face, Angel. It's like if at the end of Star Wars, Han Solo is just like at a bar. He's like, I wonder what happened with that Death Star. Did they figure it out?

Did they crack it? I'm trying to, for the people, give them a reference they'll get. Thank you. These people haven't seen Casablanca. So I want to say... They're from Boston. It's Harry Potter, Star Wars, maybe Survivor. If you like Star Wars, let me put it this way.

If you don't care about Armenians, I know Americans love Star Wars. The Armenians are Wookiees. Loud, tall, hairy. Language that has only ever been understood by Han Solo or Lord Byron. Each person. But a peace-loving, a peace-loving people who are very good at space chess. And we need your help. There's a planet, and they're under attack.

And I want to say this, if you are interested, because America funds Azerbaijan to the point of $100 million this year, in the last year, a billion dollars in the last 20 years, and all that money goes into killing Armenians. So if you're an American and you don't like that, the Congress and President Biden to stop the waiver of the 907 so that we don't fund Azerbaijan as they attack Armenians. Section 907. It's ANCA.org slash 907. It's the Armenian National Committee. ANCA.org slash 907. Yes, thank you. All right, one more spin, and it's going to be on an equally important topic. All right, my turn. Obviously, what's happening in Armenia is not the only injustice this week. I'm sorry.

Severance was robbed at the Emmys. You see how now you're in my world. I think it's okay. People know where my heart is. Obviously, this is not important, except I do want to say that I believe the show from the twisted minds at Apple TV Plus, Severance, was robbed at the Emmys. And I'll tell you why. And that's not to degenerate. First of all, one thing I think we should all take a moment and appreciate. This is a rant wheel. It's not a rave wheel. We live in a golden age of television.

All right? There's cool TV shows out there. And there's too many people doing good stuff. And not enough of them can win. I don't make the rules. I don't know what to do about that. There's no solution. The fact that Bob Odenkirk doesn't have a big old statue in his hand, it's no good.

But that's no taking away from whoever did win. And I don't remember who did, because I cut the cord. I couldn't watch it. I just get updates. Here's what I want to say. I think Severance was robbed, specifically because, look, I love Succession. It deserves to win too. But Severance, it's a whole new thing they made up a whole like it's mind-blowing and it was an interesting world from scratch and you know i don't know logan roy it's like how many seasons is he gonna not retire in it's like every season it's like oh he's got oh now he's up he's oh no how's he gonna get out of this one he's like the fucking Roadrunner.

Every season they're like, oh man, I think Shiv and Jeff are going to drop an anvil on the Roadrunner's head. And it's like, wait a second, he missed and it fell on the other one. And it's like, one season he's like, oh, Logan Roy had a stroke. How's he going to get out of this one? Oh, Logan Roy has diarrhea.

How's he going to get out of this one? He pissed on a wall, what's gonna happen next? And I love the show. And again, the website is ANCA.org slash 907. Can you play the bagpipes now?

Please. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Now it's time for the high note. Hi, Don. My name's Maggie. I'm from New York City.

And my high note is that I've been wanting to work in publishing since I was in middle school. And I've been working at my, finally, my first job in publishing for the first few months, and I finally made it through my first official season. Our fall title finally came out last week, and I can say that I survived a full season of children's book publishing. Love your show. Love you. Keep being amazing. Hi, John. This is Kate from Kansas City. And my high note is that after

six months of living with my boyfriend, I have finally convinced him to join the dark side and come to Missouri and bring his liberal self with him. He finally just got a letter today saying that he officially can vote in Missouri to watch out Eric Schmidt, Eric Gregg, whatever fucking Eric it is. We're voting Trudy Bush Valentine come November, and Missouri's going to put another Democrat in the Senate. Thank you. Bye. Hey, Lovett. It's John. I John from Northern California in Nevada County. I'm 22. And I, my high note is I recently went to a event that was hosted by Nevada County Dems. I followed them on Twitter and they were like, Hey, young voters come out to it. I went out, I talked to a few

people. I left quite early because like social anxiety, but I'm trying to get more involved locally. So awesome. All right. Later. I love it. This is Janet calling from Southwest Florida. My high note of the week is that a local newspaper published a column about me and why I recently resigned from my high school English teaching position. I was a teacher for 16 years, and I always loved the kids and the content, but the final straw was when I was asked to take Toni Morrison books off my shelves at the end of last year. It was really hard to leave my job, but I knew that I could potentially do more for education and teachers by resigning and using my voice to publicly raise awareness about the harm being done by DeSantis' spiteful education policies. This is not just a Florida problem. The hateful ideas are spreading to other states, and if Ron DeSantis becomes president, we can say goodbye to democracy.

I'm putting myself out there, burning bridges in terms of my career, but hopefully building some for the future of public education and democracy at large. Thank you so much for the show. I had a blast seeing you get stuck in the aisle at the Chicago Theater. And I also, I've always wanted to tell you that I used to get ideas for what words to include in my vocabulary lessons by listening to you here and PSA every week. There are years worth of young Floridians very aware of the meaning of the word inured. Thanks so much. Have a good one. Thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377.

Thank you all for being here. That is our show. Thank you so much to Sam Pancake, Zach Schiffman, James Adomi, and Brandon Kyle Goodwin, Guy Branham, and everyone who sent in a high note tonight. And a special thank you to our bagpiper, Aaron Shaw. Thank you all for being part of this most solemn of events, Shiva for Queen Elizabeth II.

There are 52 days until the midterm elections. Have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Cricket Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer.

Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.

Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Narmal Konian,

Zuri Ervin, and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. And you can find these glorious videos at YouTube.com slash Crooked Media.