Lovett or Leave It - Lovett or Leave It: For Good

Episode Date: December 21, 2024

Before you snuggle up in front of a roaring fire with your loved ones and watch Conclave as is the new tradition, enjoy this end-of-year gift from the Lovett or Leave It team. That’s right, Kendra, Halle, Lazarus, Chris, Kennedy, and Lovett all hand-wrapped this best-of episode, full of Hollywood tales, existential ennui, gay musings, and the right amount of oversharing, just for you. So go ahead, pour yourself a mug of hot cocoa, Google “Stanley Tucci IMDB,” and take a listen to Jane Fonda, Kathleen Turner, Matt Rogers, Rachel Bloom, Busy Philipps, Ts Madison, Thomas Lennon, and Rob Reiner. And if you see the Ghost of Christmas Past… tell him Simon Rex says hello. Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/events

Welcome, everybody, to our annual Love It or Leave It Best of episode. As another perfect, peaceful year gracefully swan-dives to a close, it's time to look back fondly on the most perfect moments of them all. And if you can believe it, all the greatest hits of 2024 happened on this very show. Well, okay. JD Vans trying to order donuts was pretty good, and I did like Wicked. But that's it. The exceptions prove the rule. Let's get into it. Up first, one of our favorite guests of all time, the one, the only, the legendary T.S. Madison, joins me as we put the gab in LGBTQIA during our Pride Month stop in Asheville.

We also put in bag, guilt, glib. Wow, you can make a lot of words out of this. While I find some more, please enjoy this hilarious segment. Okay, there's also at, there's tail, and then you get to base. Move over, Taylor Swift. There's only one TS I care about, and she's here tonight. Please put your hands together for the one, the only, TS Madison.

Oh yes, honey. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, baby. Hey. Oh, my goodness. North Carolina, y'all make some noise in here. Oh, my god. Good to see you.

Hi. Come on. Oh. Oh, my goodness. All right. No, no, y'all ain't make enough noise. Make some noise in this motherfucker for me. Oh. I came all the way from Atlanta, Georgia. Y'all ain't make enough noise. Make some noise in this motherfucker for me. Who?

I came all the way from Atlanta, Georgia. From Atlanta. From Atlanta. From Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia. Recently. Yes. You talked to IndieWire about wanting to see trans superheroes.

Yes. And trans villains. Who's your favorite trans villain, real or fictional? I admit that in the past I've been a nasty. They weren't kidding when they called me well a witch. You know, it's Ursula is what I didn't know why I loved Ursula. When I was a little boy, why I loved Ursula. When I was a little boy, I fucking loved Ursula.

Was it her tentacles? Yes, perhaps it was. But I think because, well, I just think, I think Ursula knew I was gay before I did. Of course, darling, of course. You know? And then, you know, she was she was a fish, you know? You know, we love fish.

And misunderstood. So here's the thing. I think that Ursula is like the greatest Disney villain. And I'm hoping that they create a backstory on her, like they did Maleficent's backstory. And so I would love to see the backstory on that. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Because.

Who knows what's going on down there? He's a very patriarchal father. It's a royal system. Just once at the end of one of these Disney movies, I would like, like, the stories leading to, like, the prince and the princess are gonna kiss and be happily ever after. But right before they kiss, a group of people with pitchforks come in and kill them

and say, we're a democracy. And we're gonna have a fucking election. Like, they don't get to live in the castle anymore. This man doesn't get to go from house to house putting shoes on people's feet. That's no way to run a fucking bake sale. You know? Like, what are we doing here?

Like, her only hope is that a guy likes her fucking feet? And that's a good, that's one of the good ones. Wait a minute, hold on, John. I'm into feet. If you got a pretty big toe, I may write you a check. But my point being, and I think that that's a beautiful thing, and you know, don't want to yuck your yum at all. Are you not into feet?

You're not into feet? I would say that I am sort of feet, they're there. You know, I don't hate them. I don't love them. They're just part of the body, you know? No, the feet can be so orgasmic. Is it orgasmic? Sure, if that's the word you want.

Yeah, that. You know, if you put a foot like right under your nose, like this. Sure. right under your nose, like this? Sure. And you just absorb all of that. Can I get a towel? Madison. Yes. It's important for all of us, queer and heterosexual alike, to understand that we are part of history,

and as students of queer history, or at least someone who had the Stonewall Reader covered in dust on my nightstand for a while, we want to use the opportunity to catch up on the recent scuttlebutt in a segment we're calling Four Score and Seven Queers Ago. Okay, come on. Oh! Wait a minute, hold on. Oh my, oh my God. There we are. Yes!

I look good up there, damn it. Yeah. Yes. Four, Four Score and Seven Queers Ago. I feel as though your statue is good and my head is too high up. I neck looks weird. Well, are you getting any complaints about your head?

You just, you just, you just, you just, you can't even look at me. You can't even look at me. You can't even look at me because of how you fucked that up. No complaints. No complaints. Is that what you were looking for? Yes, that's what I was looking for, yes. So here's how this works.

We are going to go there. Have you received any complaints about your head? That's not how it goes. Yes. I want to know. Has anybody went to HR about your head? Moving forward. OK.

Here's how this works. We're going to rate very recent moments in queer history on a scale from one to eight, one being the least to eight being the most historic because eight is the gayest number. Are you ready? I am. First up, June 10th, 2024 leaked audio of Martha Ann Alito, wife of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito hit the internet.

Here she describes a flag she wants to fly as a protest against the Pride flag. V-E-R-G-O-G-N-A, vergonia. Shame, shame, shame on you. You know, anyway. I just, just for, I've always wanted a vergonia. Yeah. Yeah. They come, you know.

No. Always, I've always wanted a vergonia. Yeah, Vagonia in spring? Yeah, in the spring, in the bathing suit of a nice Vagonia. So what would you rank it? A one to eight? How historic is it? Oh, it's like a five. Yeah, I think it's a five.

Listen, I'll forget about a Vagonia by the time I leave here, honey. The alcohol is going to be five. Yeah, I think it's a five. Listen, I'll forget about it for going by the time I leave here, honey, the alcohol is going to be five. May 29th, 2024, Pope Francis apologizes for using an Italian slur against gay men when asked whether the church should admit said gay men in a private meeting with Italian bishops. Wait, there are gay men in private meetings with bishops? I think there's more than... I think there's a fair number, which is I think what the Pope was commenting on.

And I know this is not the word, but... and I'm sorry, but ever since I can only imagine the Pope going, Fagaccini! Yes! And I know that's not right, but... Fagaccini! Vigonia! And then they're like, hey, we're serving a little then, Fagaccini, Vagonia. And then they're like, Hey, we're serving a little too much fagaccini Alfredo at the Vatican.

Fagaccini Alfredo. And I know he's not even Italian, he's Argentinian, but still I just, it's fagaccini Alfredo. Fagaccini Alfredo, with a side of Vagonia. And then he apologized,

but he used the slur again. And he apologized, but he used the slur again. And he said, there's an error of froggy a genie in the Vatican. I guess the word is froggy a gene. I don't know. Fag a genie. Fag a genie. Fag a genie. What do you think? Pope, pope, pope saying that?

Well, I mean, of course, that's going to be somewhere near an eight, because it's the pope. It is the pope. I think it's like a seven. Because that's the Pope saying that, you know? The Pope. The friggin' Pope. Yeah. Faggagini. Vagonia. Faggagini. I'm getting hungry. Well, that lady has some good Vagonia over there, honey? They serve it fried or baked at the orange peel. Bartender, can you give me that fried Vagonia from back there, please? And give me a side of fagguccini sauce, God damn it.

T.S. Madison, thank you so, so much. Thank y'all for having me, thank you. In March, the incredible, busy Phillips visited the show to answer a very important question, what is a woman? And if you think conservatives aren't obsessed with that question now, just wait till you've had four more years of Trump in the White House. Okay, we'll sort of deal with that one day at a time,

one day at a time. Anyway, while I collect myself, enjoy. Buzzi, in the new season of Girls 5 Eva, your character sings an amazing song called Is There a Me or Is Me Just Guys? A question I have asked myself so many times since I was 14 years old. Well, is there a me or is me just guys?

John. Yeah? There is a me. And it's mostly guys. Now, inspired by that song, we wanted to see if you could definitively answer the question conservatives have been asking for almost a decade, which is, what is a woman? What is a woman? What is a woman?

First question, is a woman a human who believes in horoscopes? Mostly. Hmm. Yeah. True. Do you think that... Tell me. Tell me. Well, you're not the only one. Hmm. Yeah. Okay. True. Do you think that...

Tell me. Tell me. Well, here's the problem I have. What do you have? I don't... Talk to me, John. The problem I have is every time someone says... Every time I say, oh, horoscopes are silly, then someone says, what are you?

And then I say, I'm a Leo, and they say, oh... Of course you are. I mean, literally, have you ever met more of a fucking Leo? This is the problem. What? When I say I'm a cancer and then I'm like, but Leo rising, people are like, now it all makes sense. So interesting.

I don't know, is the tide affected by the moon? Yes. It's all water. The tide is, the the tide affected by the moon? Yes. It's all water. The tide is, the tide is affected by the moon. But we're like mostly fucking water and we're affected by the moon. I'm sorry. We just are. The planets do a thing. It happens. I don't know. Is that how it got? That's what it's doing. It's the tides. Honey! Is that what it is?

Honey, I bleed on a full moon. I ovulate on a new moon every fucking month since I was 12. I had to think, I had to think. I couldn't remember, but that's it. Is a woman a being who is looking forward to Beyonce's new album, Cowboy Carter? Are you kidding me? Yes.

Also everyone, who isn't? Producer Kendra today, I came in and I said hello and she did not clock it at all. And I said, hey, how are you? Nothing. And then I startled her and then she took out her AirPods and she was like, I'm listening to the album. And I was like, but it's not out yet. She's like, it's out in Australia.

I have a VPN is a woman an animal who feels like she's ready to move from body positivity to body neutrality I'm so fucking over it I'm so fucking over it Over it me fucking goes um pick I like don't care. I didn't create the fucking problem No, I'll live with it. We're not changing it everyone go fuck themselves Sorry, all these motherfuckers have been on HGH forever. I never saw one fucking time magazine cover about it. I'm sorry.

You were on HGH? No, the men. The men were on HGH. Is that how they become superheroes? That's how all the fucking movie stars have been so fit after age 40. What do you think has happened? They're on drugs and then all of a sudden no zempic comes along and people are like, oh that's a a fucking big deal. Like, we can't have that. Like, what in God's name do you think has been happening? It's all God. People hate women so much. It's like we didn't create this system that we live in. And anyone who has anyone in their family who deals with obesity

or who has been struggled or had morbid obesity themselves knows that you are treated differently, that your job prospects are different, that the entire culture is built around shaming and being horrible, especially to women who are overweight. So I don't give a fuck about body pause or body neutrality. Let people just fucking live, but we can't do that. So now there's a miracle drug.

These are miracle drugs that come in. And like, let people fucking have it without shame. I'm just sorry. I'm so sick of it because I'm so fucking sick of it all. Like, I can't. A woman is a person who has fed the fuck up. I will just answer that. And that is like, I'm done.

I'm a munger, but it's hard to get because the diabetics keep taking it. And it's like, so I kind of have to like spread out my doses because these sugar weenies need it medically. I've had a moment, I've had a day, I've had a week. It's been a long time here in Los Angeles these past nine days. It's fine, everything's great.

Things are gonna be fine, don't worry about it. You and I can talk about it later. Can't wait. Fizzy Phillips, everybody. Girls' Vibe of the Season 3 is out now on Netflix. In January, Rob Reiner, the Hollywood icon behind films like Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, and When Harry Met Sally shared his thoughts about his incredible oeuf and about polyamory. Spoiler alert, he loves it. Just kidding.

He has exactly the thoughts you'd think that Rob Reiner would have, and God, he's funny about it, so take a listen. I wanted to ask, I'm just so excited to have you and there's so many. You look excited, tell your face. What the fuck? Hey, for the audio listener, I'm fucking beaming.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm beaming, I'm electric, I'm fully fucking clicked in. Ear to ear, ear I'm yeah I'm so close to you I know I know I'm getting I'm getting a chubby yeah here's the thing people say the secret doesn't work it works you got a manifest you got a manifest all right who more chemistry? Demi Moore and Tom Cruise or Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal? Who and Tom Cruise? Demi Moore? Demi Moore. Demi Moore and Tom Cruise?

Well, you know, they don't have sex in the movie. Yeah, I know. And a lot of people said to me, I don't understand. You have this beautiful girl, beautiful guy. Why don't you get them together? I said, because this movie's not about that. This movie's about a guy who has never tested himself in a courtroom because his father was a great lawyer.

And again, I made a connection with my father having been a tremendous success and the son coming on the heels, it was not a sex thing. When Harry Met Sally, that's all it's about is men and women. And when I made that, that was an extension of my dating life and I was single for 10 years. I was divorced after being married for 10 years. I was single and I was making a mess out of my dating life

and that became the basis for when Harry Met Sally. So Nora Ephraim, you know, Nora Ephron, when I told her the idea, I said it's about scenes from a relationship. It's what men and women, it's what they go through, this dance, and people would ask me all the time, they'd say, I don't understand. These two people, they're professional people,

they only talk about relationships, and men and women, don't they ever talk about their work or anything? I said, yeah, they talked about their work all the time. I just didn't put the camera on when they were doing that. I only let them see this other part. Hey can men and women be friends? Yes, they can be best friends but this is my feeling about it. If the relationship is over and they go their separate ways,

if the woman gets with a man or a man gets with another woman, then those original men or woman can no longer be close friends because you're now connected to another person. So, yes, on some level they can be, but they can't be afterwards. There's always a threat of something coming in. Unless you're polyamorous, in which case, I don't know what the hell you're doing. I really, I don't get that one at all.

I just don't get it. You don't get polycules? I don't get it. You don't get it? No, because I get it, it's called cheating. I get it. No, but imagine if cheating were allowed. Yeah, right, but somebody always gets hurt. But but it oh, somebody always gets hurt.

Somebody always gets jealous. Somebody always gets upset. It doesn't like, oh, forever. They're going to be like, no, it. You tell me one 50 year polyamorous, you know? Yeah, yeah, I do think that I was we have we have. We were having some summer conversation. I do think it's like, hey, listen, at the end of your life,

you want one person holding your hand. And if you try for two, you may end up with none, you know? That's my feeling. I feel the same way. I mean, you want to just, you know, you make a commitment to somebody if you love them. And you know, you can stay friends, but then if you break up, you go with somebody else.

You're not going to be best friends. And by friends, deep friends, I don't mean acquaintances. Deep friends share everything. They share the innermost feelings, and you won't be able to do that with your ex. You just wouldn't, because the new person's gonna say, what are you doing talking? What are you doing?

Whatever, you know. What's going on here? Yeah. So you mentioned that, of course they talked about work, you just didn't put in the movie. I think I can ask you this because he's talked about it publicly I worked on the newsroom with Aaron Serkin He would tell a story about you and the story was basically that after a few good men, you know

He he went into a hotel room. He came out a huge success goes back into the Four Seasons He's doing cocaine writing for days at a time till the cocaine runs out getting more cocaine Keeping on writing, and he sends you, my recollection, like a 400 page. Well, here's the truth, it's amazing that he tells you that because that's true, that what happened. What happened is we were gonna do this movie which eventually became the American president,

and what happened was Robert Redford had the rights to it, and they had had like 14 different drafts from different writers. And what happened was Robert Redford had the rights to it. And they had had like 14 different drafts from different writers. I never read any of them, but I met with Robert Redford and I said, look, I can do this with Aaron because we had this great experience on a few good men. We wanna do this together. And we started working on it.

And Aaron was very, his issue was gun control. We want to do this together. And we started working on it. And Aaron was very, his issue was gun control. That's the thing he cared about. My issue was the environment. And so we wanted to get those issues into this romantic story set in the world of the White House. And so we crafted this. The first draft that Aaron sent me

before we started working on it was 309 pages. 309 pages. And I said, Aaron, a script is normally 100 to 150. I said, Aaron, we can't give this to Robert Redford. I am gonna make him read 309 pages. Crazy, but he was on Coke, and he was driving. Yeah. He was still, not Redford, but Aaron, and so I said, we gotta rewrite this,

let's work on this, so he'd send me pages, he was at the Four Seasons, he was a couple of blocks away, he'd send me, fax me in fax in those days, send me pages I'd write, I'd send pages back, we'd go back and forth, back and forth, and the 309 turned into 334. And I went, Aaron, this is not going to work. I said, give me this thing.

Then I took it and I started, you know, massaging it and doing that. And I got it down to, I think, like 170 pages. And we did send it to Redford and he says, I don't want to do political. I want it just to be a romantic love story. And so he wound up not doing it. And then Michael Douglas came in. But you were right about Aaron at that time. And then he wrote me a letter afterwards,

like the 12-step thing where they say, I'm sorry that I fucked up your life first. No, but he was very nice about it. The way that he told it was that basically you were given this monstrosity that couldn't become a movie, but there was very nice about it. The way that he told it was that that basically you were given this monstrosity that couldn't become a movie, but there was beautiful things in it. And that you basically said all this part about the staff, let's put this aside. This, this is your movie. And then he took the pages that you didn't use and he made the West Wing out of it.

He used a lot of pages. That was fine. You know, it's cool. And he did ask me, yeah, he said, is it okay, because there were hundreds of pages that we didn't use. And I said, yeah, sure, sure. I don't have any proprietary thing about any of that stuff. I mean, to me, a creative person, you go and do it. And I was fine, I was totally cool with that.

But to give you an example, you remember, I don't know if you've seen the movie, at the end, Michael Douglas gives this speech in the press room, the press briefing room, and the speech is all about being the president and what it means to be a president. Aaron wrote a speech that was 15 pages long. And it wound up being about three and a half pages,

which is still a lot of stuff. He pulls off a racing stripe. Yeah, but he used all that stuff. He wound off a racing stripe, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he used all that stuff. He wound up in the... I think only in the first year, maybe, of West Wing. But then after that, other stuff. Rob Ringer, thank you so much. This was so great. Thank you very much for having me.

Really appreciate it. Really appreciate it. What does the JD and JD Vance stand for? No one knows, least of all me. Luckily this year we came up with a whole host of options for our new vice president to choose from. Did we ever beat Jar Jar Dinks Vance? I'll let you be the judge. Speaking of men who freak out when women have fun, Joybird defiler Vance seemed to agree with the host.

Judge duty Vance, Justin dimberlake Vance, Jabba the dud Vance, Jew detector Vance, Jeffrey Dahmer Vance, Jar Jar Dinks Vance, Jadonf Dittler, Jennifer Dopez Vance, meanwhile Joe dirt Vance, Joan Duddy and Vance, Jellicle Dat Vance, John Dullinger Vance, Jingo Dingo Vance's spokesperson. The legendary Kathleen Turner stopped by our Boston show in June to regale us with behind the scenes stories from her decades in the industry, including a very special exchange

she had with the late Matthew Perry when she was on Friends. Guess you can say me and Kathleen Turner are officially friends. That's embarrassing. We're acquaintances. Acquaintances with a strong vibe. Please welcome to the stage, and we cannot believe it, a living legend, the one, the only Kathleen fucking Turner. We have a classic love it or leave it game

that was tailor-made for you. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for Was I In This? Here's how it works. Chris is out there in the house. Audience, you will not embarrass yourselves in front of Kathleen Turner. Alright? Raise your hand if you want to play, and Chris will find you in the audience.

Kathleen played a cartoon shoe in Who Framed Roger Rabbit. True. False. Aw, damn it. Jessica Rabbit. Joe, there is a shoe. There is a shoe. It goes in the dip. I think my favorite line from that was, I love you more than any woman has ever loved the rabbit before. I love that.

I love that. What an amazing... Were you Jessica Rabbit or was Jessica Rabbit you? You're now so entwined. Like, it seemed the character couldn't exist without you, right? Well, Bob Zemeckis directed and he directed Romancing the Stone. So we've known each other for many years. And I think that when he wanted just a voice,

he thought of me. What he didn't realize, and which was absolutely gorgeous for me, was I was extremely pregnant then. And so I would waddle into the studio, you know, and I have these friends like opera singers who claim that they gain a note on either end with the resonance. So I don't know. Anyway, the last day I was supposed to work, I, my water broke. And I'm in the hospital saying, call this studio.

Tell them I'm not coming today. I like that. I like that. The sexiest voice ever recorded had to call in for maternity leave. That's cool. That's great. And finally, Kathleen played what was described as Chandler's dad on Friends.

Yeah. That is such a... Accurate. All of these movies, it's so interesting situating some of these movies because whether it's the strong women are existing in this sort of misogynist space. And then you play Chandler's dad at a time in which there wasn't even really the word trans. And yet it's a kind of loving portrait of this person in the end. Have you thought about that? I was I was doing a one woman show based on Toledo Bankette, of course, up in San Francisco. And two of the writers from Friends came up and came

backstage and talked to me about playing this man in drag. And you're right. I mean, people have asked me since then, would you do it now? I mean, shouldn't it be done by a man in drag? Well, of course it should. But we didn't have that then. I mean, honestly, it wasn't really an option.

And so I wanted to, okay, no, wait, I have to, okay. I had a dresser on the show, right? Gay guy who also did drag. And so I said, you've got to take me to some clubs. I need to understand what this is and what I have to do. So he took me to these drag clubs. And they were brilliant. And they were, oh, so such angry laughter.

You know, I mean, they were hilarious, but there always seemed to be this edge of real anger underneath. And so, first day of rehearsal at the studio, I go in and I read through the script, and suddenly, the producers and everybody else run off to a corner and huddle and then someone comes over bravely and says, it's great, you know, it's just great. I mean you're great,

great, but we're wondering, could you just, could you just be a little nicer? Yep, OK. It's interesting because it's clearly this, you know, maybe it wouldn't obviously exist in the same way today, but this character is described as a drag queen, but clearly living as a woman all the time. He's fully, yeah, he's not just a drag queen. His life is as a woman. Right, that's exactly right. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'll tell you what's funny though, because Matthew Perry used to call me dad. You know, when he would see me, he'd be,

Dad. That's sweet. Yeah, poor baby. Thank you for being here. I enjoyed it. Was this fun? Do you have fun? Do you have fun? Yeah, I have fun.

Everybody give it up for the one, the only Kathleen Turner. July 21st, 2024 was a day that will go down in American history, for it was the day we dropped the episode where comedian, actor and writer Thomas Lennon joined us in Madison, Wisconsin to ask the audience, hey, did I write this? Also on July 21st, Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 presidential election and endorsed Kamala Harris. It was an interesting footnote to the day's main historical entry,

which was again, Thomas Lennon. Let's take a listen. Please welcome to the stage, the one, the only, it's Thomas Lennon. He's running full speed. Yes. Okay, hi. Hi.

Thank you for being here. Come on. So now you are an incredible writer who has written on so many projects. I'm a busy writer. You're very busy. So it's time we play a twist on a love movie of a classic called Did I Write This? We're going to have Chris out there. All right. If somebody would like to let somebody raise your hand, want to answer a question? We're going to have Chris out there. All right. If somebody would like to ask, let's somebody raise your hand. You want to answer a question?

Was I the pen behind, and I'm going to say her name properly, the Lindsay Lohan vehicle, Herbie, fully loaded? Yes. Yes, correct. You got it. Correct. So you talk about in the book about making this movie. What is your takeaway now all

these years later? A couple things. Lindsay Lohan is, she's excellent in the film. The film actually did really well and everyone just hated us so much when that movie came out. The reason, oh, it's in the actual poster right now. We actually got fired, even though I'm in the movie at some point, we got fired off of writing the film, because the studio producer, after something happened, was like,

and then Herbie's gonna smile. And we were like, Herbie's not fucking like liquid metal. He's not the T1, he can, his lights go on and off, his trunk opens, he goes beep beep, but he's not like, he's not gonna go, eh, like fucking smile. Like the Joker, that's insane. That's crazy. If the car smiles at Lindsay Lohan, she's gonna go, that's crazy,

this is a sentient, like insane thing. So that was the hill that we died on, and then we... So for some reason, we were perfectly happy to write a Herbie fully loaded movie, but gonna be dicks about that the car couldn't smile. Which was such an awesome idea. And they really got us on the poster. Right cause the car does seem to smile.

He has just got a shit eating grin on his face. He's almost saying, hi, Tom. So Herbie is a sentient vehicle. Herbie, yeah, Herbie. This was actually, I think, probably something like the sixth Herbie movie, something like that. Wow. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It was an interesting time to write that picture, for sure. OK, I wrote, did I write Reno Reno 911 the hunt for QAnon? This feels like it's distressing how many of you have not seen that that's a real movie. I'm a big fan I just found out about this. Okay that's really fucking distressing. This is a giant movie that came out on Paramount Plus. I thought it was a giant movie. Sorry, the answer was? Yeah?

I'm gonna go with yes. Well, yeah. Obviously yes. Yeah. Yeah. One of my smartypants friends pointed out, they're like, shouldn't it really be called Reno 911 The Hunt for Q? And I was like, yeah, but they already told us what the title was.

That's right, because Q and non is everywhere. And plus, like, we didn't make Herbie smile. I'm like, I'm not going to fucking do this again. They told us what the title was. Shut up and do it sometimes. The answer to who Q is in that movie is RuPaul and a speaking spell. That's cool. That's as good a guess as any. It's as good a guess as any. I started to spoil it. Please watch it. It's on Paramount Plus. I will. I'll watch it. Yeah, it'd be good if they just hit play. If everybody just sign up for Paramount Plus and just leave me on. Yeah. Yeah. Next question. Did Thomas Wright the pacifier starring one Vin Diesel? I hope so.

Yes. You, in the book, you said you've met with Jackie Chan to potentially star in the pacifier before Vin signed on. It was 100% just supposed to be a Jackie Chan movie. One thing is in the original draft written for Jackie, pitched to Jackie. Jackie loved the idea. He said script very good. After we pitched it, he did like some kung fu at lunch.

It was really like one of the coolest days of my life. And the idea was that he goes to like a really great Chinese market and he's going to make a duck for the children. And so the children freak out and of course then he becomes friends with the duck and he has sort of a scene where the duck is like his razzagool and he kind of talks to the duck a little bit. And they become friends and the duck of course is a popular character. So when Jackie ended up, they didn't want to do the movie with Jackie for a minute because the tuxedo had just kind of, in Hollywood you can cool off like in

a millisecond and then you're hot and then you're freezing cold and you're hot. It's it's gaslighting all the time. So but so Jackie was no longer going to be in the movie. It was Vin Diesel. And I was like, well, let me go do a pass because we we obviously have to cut the duck. That doesn't make sense. And I'm like, no. The only thing in the movie that for sure stays is the duck. I'm like, but why? And they're like, because he has a duck. I'm like, that, how? Fucking poster. I'm always wrong. Look at the fucking poster. Every hill I die on is in the poster going like that. Ducks and smiling beetles.

Did they make the car smile? I guess so. They did make the car smile. Passafire was sort of oddly a big hit. Yeah, I get it. So was Herbie, by the way, even though it's a weird movie. Well, because it's about a sentient car that has no rights. Yeah, we did. We made a huge mistake, which was

at the premiere of Herbie Fully Loaded at the El Capitan in Hollywood. We talked to Nina Jacobson, who was the president of Disney, about what the sequel was going to be. Don't ever do that. Don't ever do that. Don't ever go to the bar and be like, woo hoo, what's the next one? Herbie's going to get into that. Don't do that. Don't ever

talk about what the next Herbie movie is going to be. You're at the El Capitan with Nina Jacobson, the former head of the studio. Yeah. Don't bring up the sequel for Herbie. No. We all talk about it high five and early. Don't do it. It's a curse. That's the curse. The curse of talking about the movie too much. Did Thomas write for Comedy Central's legendary comedy series, Strangers with Candy?

I'm a contrarian, no. Incorrect. Come on. That was an interesting one because, so, Stephen Colbert was the head writer of Strangers with Candy, who has also played one of the main characters. There they are.

It's most of Exit 57. It's Amy and Paul and everybody. But really almost nobody else wrote Strangers with Candy episodes. I don't know why they really let me write one, but I wrote the one where Jerry had traded the way she'd had a child years ago that she traded for a guitar. And then this new boy comes to school and it seems like this might be the boy that she traded for.

So she goes to the Sadie Hawkins dance with what might be her son. And it's like very romantic and she gives a long speech about how she always wondered what happened to that guitar. It was a good episode. Stephen Colbert is a tough, tough guy to work for on that show. Tough. He's very, very, um... He's very hands-on writing. Really? He's smart. He's so funny. Sometimes it feels like, yeah, intense. I like that.

I mean, we're friends, but it's also, it feels, you know, it's like, definitely, like definitely like the stakes are high yeah yeah you don't want to let them down yeah we've gone on the late show with and it's um you know the people you meet and they're just like I don't know I'm pretty I'm pretty a nerd to it at this point but I am so nervous oh no that one that one is particularly, yes. You can just see it, he's so smart. Yes. He's so funny. Yes. He has such a, there's also just like a righteousness to him. Like an integrity to how he does things.

Yes. That it's just, you really, I really want, I wanted, I wanted to do for him what he wants me to do. Exactly. It's not that I want his approval, I want to succeed in the way he hopes to succeed. Oh, I want his approval very much. And I also want the approval. I want his approval. 100%. One time he told me that I look handsome and it was the he hopes to succeed. Oh, I want his approval very much. And I also want the approval. I want his approval.

100%. One time he told me that I looked handsome, and it was the first time I was happy in, I don't know, 35, 40 years. But, you know, that was just, it felt good. Yeah. That's a great stranger with candy. Also on Paramount+. Please go to Paramount+, everybody.

And if you take anything away from this. Just put it on, just put it on. Just put a thumb on it. Thomas Lennon, thank you so much for being here. Oh, it on, just put it on! Just put a thumb on it. Thomas Lennon, thank you so much for being here. Oh my god, love it. While I was busy sucking down sand and having my son burned ass handed to me by my tribe mates, the wonderful Matt Rogers hosted a perfect week of love it or leave it in May. Open your ears and your hearts as his guest Rachel Bloom recalls a story about 9-11 that you'll never forget. Y'all ready for the next guest?

Woo! Please welcome to the stage, she was America's crazy ex-girlfriend. Now she's my crazy platonic stage wife. It's the unbelievable Rachel Bloom! Woo! I just want to say Love It is shivering on a rock right now. I want to remind everyone, John, your show is in great hands. Everything's going well, buddy.

So speaking of things that started in the aughts, talking about Survivor there. So I don't know if you know this, but last week, America celebrated the 20th anniversary of the release of Shrek 2. I was so wondering what we were gonna talk about because I realized they sent an email asking what do you want to talk about and I was so I'm solo parenting this week yeah so I'm a mother so that's my real job no so I was like whatever he wants to talk about I trust him so I love that of course we're gonna talk about fucking Shrek 2. Yeah and I knew that you would love it.

I, Shrek came out in what year? 2000? So Shrek, the first Shrek was 2001, but we're talking of course. Wait, pre-911 or post-911? Moments after. That's important to know. Did someone just say, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Did someone just say moments after? You go, pre-911 or post, and someone in the crowd goes, it was moments after. It was tower one, tower two, Shrek two. Okay, so first. I always ask when something comes out in 2001 if it's pre-9-11 or post because I remember that time. Yeah, yeah. That's all I got. And that's why, do you want to hear something dark?

This is true September 11, 2001 What was the day Mariah Carey released her album that accompanied the film glitter? I? Remember going to school that morning and writing the header on my paper, 9-11-2001, and I remember saying, probably out loud, this is the day that I get glitter. My mother, I get a call like so many kids did. We were East Coast. I had just gotten to school. Can you send Matt Rogers down to the office? His mother is here to take him home for the day.

I'm like, oh my God. My mom is taking me to get glitter early. I quickly learned that was not the reason for my early dismissal. My mom concerned was like there's just something going on in the city and I really I don't like what's happening and I want you to be home with me. I said okay are we going to get glitter? She goes, I don't think the store is going to be open. And I go, what's going on in the city that the store wouldn't be open on Long Island. And so she goes, Oh my God. And I think I saw her realize in that moment, like I have to get my gay son this album now or else what already is a nightmare will be even worse in my own home.

So we did stop by the record store. They were closing up and my mom goes, please just let us quickly do this. And the people that were working there were like, okay. people that were working there were like, okay. Anyway, it's an underrated album to this day. Please make this a short film because what I'm picturing is

a line of employees salute you as you walk by with blood. Just like. If this isn't America, I don't know. So when you say person out there who was like moments after, literally moments after. My husband was, no this will be, my husband lived two blocks from the towers on 9-11. He was at NYU, he was at the Water Street dorm. two blocks from the towers on 9-11. He was at NYU. He was at the Water Street dorm. Oh my God, at the Water Street dorm. Yeah, and his 9-11 story is insane because first plane hit tower one and he went out

to go see because they thought it was just an accident. And then it was like September, he's wearing sweatpants and he went back inside because his balls were cold. And that is the thing that maybe saved his life. His balls. His balls being cold because otherwise he would have been like right under the fucking towers with the plane. His balls saved his life. Yes.

His weak little balls. Not little. They're fine. They're great. They worked. They worked. Simon Rex, the man, the mystery, the reason we need more scary movie sequels. We were excited about Simon when we knew he was coming on the show, but when he started ruminating on the nature of ghosts during this August episode, well, you have to hear it yourself.

Listen closely and see if you can pick up on our head writer, Hallie, busting up backstage. From her to you, thank you, Simon Rex. Simon, you shot at the Hacienda Temozón Sur in Mexico? Yeah. Which is, I think, the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, look at that. That's cool.

It's a old, kind of creepy place, but now it's beautiful, but it had, like, I don't believe in ghosts, but it would be haunted if the ghosts were real. I invite ghosts to come hang out, I don't believe in ghosts, but it would be haunted if the ghosts were real. I invite ghosts to come hang out. I don't think they could physically hurt you. I think maybe they scare you, but they don't. They can't hurt you. So I got to say, for a guy that doesn't believe in ghosts, you got some very specific ideas of what they can and cannot do. But isn't then there would be cat ghosts and dinosaur ghosts would be taking up space? Why just humans?

Why do we think we're the only ghosts? That's a really important point. I know. Well, in a lot of ghost media, there are animal ghosts. They are? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Ghost dog.

So yeah, I just don't believe in ghosts, but maybe I shouldn't say that probably because now they're coming for me. Right. That's how you conjure them, is talking about them on a podcast. Do you believe in ghosts? I do. Do you believe in ghosts? Uh, no. Yeah. I think that do I believe that there are forces moving through us that we can't possibly

understand that like sort of defy our comprehension and then we use our three dimensional brain in a multi-dimensional universe to kind of make sense of things that our brain simply cannot make sense of and describe them as ghosts, yes. Okay, I think. That's what I think. Have you had any ghosts? Not personally, but I just feel like they could exist.

Why not? It feels like I have a soul. I believe I feel it. So sure it could like wander around. I believe you have a soul. I believe I feel it. So sure, I could like wander around. I believe you have a soul. Thank you. Simon, inspired by your incredible, true. Inspired by your incredible digs, a shipping container.

We have a very special new edition of a classic Levitt or Levitt game we'd like to play. Ashley, this is also inspired by your ability to have an opinion on everything. True. Which is why we're gonna play, Would You Fuck This House? Ooh. Cool. True. Which is why we're going to play Would You Fuck This House? Ooh. Nice.

I love this. Simon Ashley, the game is very simple. I will show you a house. You will have to tell us if you would fuck it. Obviously, this is not literal. Or is it? Doesn't matter. All right, here we go.

The Biltmore Mansion in Asheville, North Carolina. I've been there. We've been there. I didn't fuck it. It's very regal. I'd say it's really just not my type. This isn't the kind of person I fuck. I don't think I've ever dated someone with a good credit score.

So just feels like it's out of my league. It looks like a racist house. Yeah. That too. There's that too. Yeah, no, it's a no my league. It looks like a racist house. Yeah. That too. There's that too. Yeah, no, it's a no for me. It's a pass. If there was ghosts, they would be there.

So. That's haunted as hell. There would be there. Yeah, I do think it's like, like in the movie, this is, you know, this is who Rose is trying to get away from in Titanic. Yeah. You know? Could you have sex with a ghost? OK, so people have said that they have.

Ooh. Yeah, there's people who have like interviewed and talked about how they had sex with a ghost. Like receive or give? Receive, usually. Spooky. Yeah. I got to tell you, I think you believe in ghosts. I think you

believe in them. I'm just getting the sense that you might believe in them. Next up, we have the Flintstones house in Hillsboro, California. Falick. Yeah. Mounds feel sexual. Looks like some orange breasts, like an orange worm. It is those little, those holes. I kind of love it. The longer I look, the more I'm like, you know, like on a first date, you first think, oh, I don't know if I like this person.

And slowly you're like, okay, okay, I could see this. Voluptuous childbearing rooms. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think itaring rooms. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's space-like. Yeah. I think it's like low gravity.

Has anyone had sex in outer space yet? Oh, probably for sure. It's one of those ghosts. Has anyone had sex in outer space? Not yet, probably. Definitely. In the International Space Station? Yeah. After a Space Station? Yeah. After a year alone?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like, hey, after this docking, should we do some docking? I've had those two astronauts who are stuck up there right now are having sex. Yeah, well, that's interesting. That's interesting.

And if you got pregnant, what would the baby be any different? Does time not exist? There's time. Because you're not rotating around the sun. No, no, right. Don't they have more days? Yeah, don't you age different in outer space? Yeah, these are really important questions.

Let's just take them one at a time. I think you do age differently up there, but not for the reasons you're saying. Would the baby be fucked up? Probably. But not again because of time. The amount of time you go around the sun might be different, but the baby wouldn't know. But it still might be screwed up because there's no gravity up there.

You know what I mean? Also, it stinks up there. Yeah, because they also have like, they can't pee normal. They can't pee normal. Because there's no gravity. So they have to use a suction cup to pee. They're disgusting. They just wipe each other. There's no gravity. So they have to use a suction cup to pee. They're disgusting. They just wipe each other.

They have wipes. Wow. Imagine spending six months up there, and all you're doing is going into a thing drawn a curtain and wiping your whole body head to toe. And I do think that does create a sort of sexual environment. It's like, you're seeing me at my worst. Let's just go at each other.

And cool. And that's why I would fuck this house. And that's why you'd fuck that house. And you know, after you have sex up there, you could say, I need some space. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. Hey, everybody.

Love It or Leave It has some exciting LA live shows coming up in 2025. I'll be taking the stage for a new season of the show that dared guests from Danny DeVito to Amy Klobuchar to ask, what is this and where am I? Each week I'll break down the biggest and dumbest stories in politics to help you keep up with and laugh at the news. And this season stay tuned for big guests and surprising conversations you won't find anywhere else. Our first very special guest will be Rachel Bloom followed by Joel McHale. Don't miss out on the wild, wired energy of Love to Relieve It in real life

and all the vaguely cancelable chaos we have no choice but to cut from the live show. Head to crooked.com slash events to see show dates and to grab tickets. We'll see you there. Crooked's Friend of the Pod subscription is offering an exciting 25% off new annual subscriptions through the end of the year. If you're feeling anxious about the avalanche of headlines and new manga comic book villains waiting for us on the other side of the new year, you're not alone. Crooked is here to cut through the noise, break down what matters, and ease your hand off the panic button, and your subscription will support all of what we do here.

You'll get ads-free episodes of Pod Save America, subscription-exclusive shows, access to our lively Discord community of political junkies and more, and all while supporting Crooked's mission in the best way that you can. So please, please, please become a friend of the pod as we see companies like Disney capitulating to Trump.

It is a reminder that corporate media has not and will not save us. So if you feel obliged, we appreciate you supporting independent media like cricket media. So please sign up now at crooked.com slash friends or through the prod save America feed on Apple podcasts. We really appreciate it. of America feed on Apple podcasts. We really appreciate it. It's only so often you get to share the stage with a legend. I just hope Jane Fonda enjoyed it. Just kidding.

I was like an aunt before the eye of God during our very special show at the Bourbon Room in Los Angeles this September. Let's get, well, not physical, let's get audible. Hi, Jane. So nice to see you. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too. What's the matter?

No, I'm just... I've lost already, it's over. Listen, who is seeing this show? Is this it? You mean live? Live, this is it. Okay. But then a bunch of people will see it on YouTube,

and a bunch of people will listen to it as a podcast. Really? Yeah. I came on here. I thought you were a different John Lovett. I didn't... I didn't... And I'm very pleasantly surprised. Oh. But I don't know why I'm here. I really don't.

I ask my publicist, why am I here? I mean... No, and your confusion? Yeah. Totally understandable. And again, like, you wouldn't know based on this or this that people listen. Isn't that surprising by my whole personality that people tune into this?

You're very funny. Oh. And, yeah. LAUGHTER No, I'm actually, I'm feeling good because, you know, And I know. No, I'm actually, I'm feeling good because, you know, at my age, I really, I could understand your humor a little bit. I mean, I understand why people laughed. I was worried. Because, you know, I can, you can kind of be out of it.

You were worried that you were out of it? Yeah, I was worried that I wouldn't think you're funny and that I wouldn't really know why I was here, but you are funny. Well, now you've been an activist and for such a long time, now can we show the image of the 1970 mugshot? Because I feel like you should teach a course on how to look cool in a mugshot.

I mean that. You guys must be really short on money. I don't think too many people must listen to this show. You have no money. You show a small TV show. No, no, no, you may be saying, why not put it on the big screen behind you? Successful shows usually have a big screen.

Why not put it on the big screen behind you? Successful shows usually have a big screen. It ain't the view, that's for sure. Jane, I want you to know that people sweat and blood and tears went into trying to get that image on this screen. And it didn't work. on this screen. But even with AI and all the technological wonders, even with billionaires soaring above our heads as we speak, no. Not tonight, couldn't work. And maybe that's a reason for-

Well, it is a good mugshot. It is a good mugshot. I got lucky, the lighting was really good. Yeah. It's cool. I have several and they don't all look that good. But, I don't know. You...

So, speaking of which, you told the Washington Post that one of your jailers said, there must be a better way to draw attention to your cause. But is there? It feels like it works. You getting arrested. It's a big deal when Jane Fonda gets arrested. Everyone's like, holy shit, they arrested Jane Fonda again. Yeah, that's why I do it.

I turned, I... No, it's true. I mean, it's called nonviolent civil disobedience, and it has changed history throughout history. That said... you know, I'm white, I'm famous, they don't treat me like they do black people and brown people, and I recognize that.

I don't wanna make it look like it's some brave thing to be arrested, it's not. You usually, you get put in a holding pen with a lot of people that you wanted to talk to anyway, so. And I could do wall squats. You probably don't know what that is. I know what a wall squat is, Jane. I do know what a wall squat is.

Jane, I've been doing Pilates. Really? But I have no idea what's going on. But I turned 82 in jail and I knew that would get a lot of, it was like five or six years ago and I knew it would get a lot of attention and it did. And so a lot of other old women around the country said, well, if she can do it. And people came from all over the country. It was so great and got arrested for the first time and it was fun. You see? We had a good time.

I don't know, is there a camera that is photographing anything here? Yes, there's actually several. It's a real production. It's a real... It is? There are professionals... You can't see them. The dark is the lighting.

There's professionals in virtually every direction. I cannot believe it. I came in here and walked a half a mile straight upstairs. Yeah. Tonight, you're about to match wits with Crooked's resident film expert and dweeb. An Emmy nominee this weekend for his writing on the 2024 Academy Awards,

please welcome Keep It Zone, Louis Vertel! CHEERING There he is. CHEERING Louis. Come on, Good to see you, buddy. Lewis. We were on Millionaire together. Yeah, we were! I can never beat him.

She should be afraid. That's the way it works. Yeah, no, he knows everything. I know. I know he's a savant. When we were on Who Wants to be a Millionaire Together, this is how crazy it is to know this person. We kept getting questions on accident that dovetailed with her life.

We got a question about a 100-year-old tortoise she had met before. And he was, like, impotent or something? No, I watched him be masturbated. I did. That's no way to speak about Rupert Murdoch. Who is, Wonesome George was his name. Very famous, Wonesome George.

They brought a Swedish course, a Swedish woman vet over to the Galapagos. They wanted to try to breed him so that the, you know, and it didn't work. Didn't work? No. I just want to say as a trivia person, aren't you all fucking in awe of her amazing memory? Jesus Christ.

You know everything. No, you know everything. That's true. I do too. Yes, you're going to win this. Let's go. So here's how it works. Now, Lewis is a low-key madman.

Right. So we thought we would up the difficulty and pit him against Jane Fonda in a segment we're calling Into the Fonda-verse. Ooh. Good place to be. I will ask both of you questions about Jane Fonda. Yeah.

And we will see who knows Jane Fonda better. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. see who knows Jane Fonda better. First question. What is the film Jane Fonda most regrets turning down? Oh I know I think Bonnie and Clyde? Incorrect. She has said Bonnie and Clyde before I can find the interview right now. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. Oh God, what was it? It was Julie Christie and Omar Sharif. What was that movie? Oh, oh, Dr. Zabago. Russia. Yeah. That's correct, Jane.

Okay. Yeah. At least that's what you told Ellen. Jane Fonda received the title role in the 1965 comedy western Cat Ballou, considered by many to be her breakout star turn, after the first-choice actress passed. Later it was revealed that the actress's manager had declined the role without consulting her, and if she had known she would have taken it. Who is that actress? Who is the actress?

That was originally offered Cat Ballou. Yeah. Oh, that's a good... Well, I know that... Her first three Oscar nominations, Barbra Streisand turned it down all three times, which is so crazy. According to Barbra. Right. Right.

I believe you. According to Barbra, I would have no career if it weren't for her. I know. Oh. She turned down Barbra Streisand. I believe you. I believe you.

I believe you. According to Barbra, I would have no career if it weren't for her. She turned down Barbarella, she turned down Clute. They shoot horses don't they? What? They shoot horses don't they? They shoot horses don't they? And Julia. Can you see her? No I know. So that's not the answer for that question. I'm gonna go with 1965. Mm, Cat Ballou. I assume she was already popular at the time.

Elizabeth Ashley? Great guess. Correct answer is Anne Margaret. Ooh. Anne Margaret. There was a phase when you and Anne Margaret had the exact same hair. I'm not kidding. It was confusing.

Thank you. when you and Anne Margaret had the exact same hair, I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. I'm not kidding, it was confusing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

She would have been good in Capulet. Yeah, absolutely, yes. I'm glad she turned it down. Oh wait, quickly, story, can I tell you one really quickly? Yeah. One time this guy came over to hook up, like it was like a grinder hookup, and at the time I had this awesome poster

of Jane Fonda in my house. And the guy was not super verbal, like he was drunk or something. And he comes in, says nothing, sees the poster of Jane and goes, cap-a-loo. And that was the beginning of a friendship and he's a big movie person.

Anyway, we had sex. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. That's awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Oh. Jesus. Yes.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Final question. Which of the following is not a real quote from one Jane Fonda? A. What does Jane Fonda eat for breakfast? My boyfriend well toasted buttered on both sides.

B. I ate a beetle. C. My 82 year old bones hurt. Or D. You can grease them up or down. I believe she said the first one about eating the boyfriend. That's correct. No. She didn't say that? No, you did.

That's what I mean. I absolutely can hear it in your voice. You said... I would never. Apparently you did. I'm not a morning person. Apparently you did. I'm not a morning person. Oh, God.

Louis, I'm sorry to tell you this, but you've been absolutely obliterated. I am in front of all my friends. You've wiped the floor with Louis. And what do you think about Louis bonding with a would-be paramour about a poster of you? I love it. Okay. Listen, in your life, if you can get one person screwed, it's worth it. You've done something good. They say grief is nonlinear.

For me, my post-election grief has followed a loose trajectory, similar to one taken by a rocket-powered riverboat driven by a demonic steamboat willy. Also, the toilets are all out of order. Listen in as I attempt to, in real time, make sense of a second Trump administration in this, our post-election show. It has landed on depression. I just start crying.

It's like that easy. I had a very dark moment earlier today, which was that I actually had a moment where I was really kind of mourning the good that we're not going to get. I had this moment where I just indulged in thinking about the delta between the world as we were fighting for and the world that we're going to get. And I realized, I had this moment where I just thought, I don't know how bad things will get. But no matter who you are, no matter what you have, the next four years will be worse. We've just signed on for being a bit sadder and more anxious and upset about politics. And there's no changing that now.

So we can ignore it for a time and do self-care and tend to our feelings and step away when we have to and we should step away when we have to. And I'm not going to indulge in this all the time, but that was a feeling I had, which is just the next couple of years are just going to be bad. What's the next stage? Is this a good idea? Bargaining. Maybe it won't be so bad. Okay. Listen.

Okay. All right. All right. Hear me out. Hear me out. Hear me out. Maybe it won't be so bad. Okay. Donald Trump at root wants to be loved. He wasn't didn't get enough love as a child. He's never had therapy. He's a broken fucking person. He's very transactional people. He loves people who love him. He hates people who hate him. He hurts people who hurt him or don't love him or admire him. And he tries to help the people who serve him. He's transactional. And so much of the first four years of Trump

was about this kind of like, this fundamental grievance that here he was, this fucking guy that always ever wanted is the respect and admiration of the elites. Why he calls Maggie Haberman every fucking day and then bashes her on social media, right? And he couldn't have it. Why? Because we called him illegit? And he couldn't have it. Why? Because we called him illegitimate because he didn't win the popular vote because of

all the interference that went into his winning, the fact that we put an asterisk there because of Comey and all the bullshit and the misogyny and all the rest. And he just, it made him a little bit fucking crazy. Now, I don't think it takes much to make Donald Trump crazy. I think, I think he's crazy out of the packaging. But still, he won a popular vote. He did. He did. And I can't even convince myself of this.

Yeah, that's the bargaining. That was bargaining. How do I end that? Come on, anger. All right. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. Tuesday, I was shocked. Wednesday, I was sad. Today, I am fucking furious.

And I think we all, I think this is a challenge. Watch me be part of the party. I'm fucking furious. And I think we all, I think this is a challenge. Watch me be part of the pontificating and priggish democratic elite that Brett Stevens hates while using stories about jazz era chess masters. Look in the mirror, pal. There's a series of essays that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote called The Crack Up. And I love it.

And it's dated in all the ways it's dated. Caveats, there, done. But it's really interesting, right? Because this is a person who is clearly struggling with mental illness, depression, addiction, but they don't have the words for it. And in it, he talks about the kinds of things he would write down on his list.

And one of them were the times he was snubbed by those who were not his better in character or ability. And I think about that all the time. Because I think it's something we all think about, right? The time when we're like, honestly, that's dating in Los Angeles. Uh, but also in that essay, he says a line,

which is relatively famous from the essay, which is the test of a first-rate intelligence is keeping two contradictory eyes in the mind at the same time and still retaining the ability to function, something like that. And I do think we have to keep two ideas in our mind at the same time, which is I think we shouldn't be in denial, we should face. We made our case to the country. And Donald Trump won this election. They had questions about his character.

They had concerns about him as a human being. They do not like him. But a lot of people that do not like him voted for him anyway. Ron Brownstein wrote a great piece today that they chose the uncertainty of a different future from the unacceptability of the present, paraphrasing, but some version of that. And that is true, and we should be honest about that. That happened, right?

That speaks to something about our inability to reach people, that speaks to a disdain for the identity, the brand of the Democratic Party, that is real. We need to be honest about that. We need to figure that out. At the same time, I think it is also okay to feel and think, well, wait a second here. Joe Biden did what we asked him to do domestically. I think there's valid criticism both on policy and politics around, around Gaza and Israel.

But domestically, Joe Biden for four years did what we asked him to do. He came in, he built consensus, and he governed as well as anyone could have under the circumstances. In a pandemic, in an economic calamity, he passed the Rescue Plan, he passed the Inflation Reduction Act. Someone who was always at the very dead center or center right of the Democratic Party in his old age was curious enough and open enough to listen and bring everybody in. And he governed in a progressive way. He did what we asked him to do and he delivered.

And that didn't matter. Why? Why? Right? It's not enough to just say, well, people were upset about inflation. Donald Trump's policies will be worse if your biggest issue is inflation. And so people voted based on this issue in a way that is ultimately, I think, counter to what they are hoping to get out of it. And so I feel like I have these two competing ideas in my head right now. One of which is, what do we do to answer for

the fact that the American people collectively said, we are choosing Donald Trump over what you're offering, while at the same time believing in my bones that if they had the right information, if we had the ability to reach people and get them the information in a way that helped them understand the stakes and the actual choice in this election, we would have won. And, yeah. And was this about anger? Yes.

And also, Joe Biden, I can't tell what I'm madder about with Joe Biden to be honest. Am I more mad about his decision to seek reelection in the year and a half leading up to the debate or am I more angry about the month before the election that Joe Biden was elected? I mean, I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that.

I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that.

I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm not mad about that. I'm more mad about his decision to seek reelection in the year and a half leading up to the debate or am I more angry about the month after the debate that he dithered and prevented us from either having a competitive primary or have giving Kamala Harris enough time to actually mount an effective campaign? I can't decide which is making me more angry right now, but I don't have to choose. What are the other ones? but I don't have to choose. What are the other ones? Oh, I'm not doing acceptance. I'm not doing it.

We'll be right back. And with that, our journey through Chad GPT's favorite moments from 2024's Love It or Leave It has come to an end. In conclusion, we crushed it. I'd like to dedicate this best of episode to Maggie Smith, Peanut the Squirrel, and maybe Jimmy Carter by the time this comes out.

May their memories be a blessing. From all of us here at Love It or Leave It, thank you for spending this 10 out of 10, absolutely flawless year with us, and have a very happy holidays. Take a break, take some time from politics and the news, and we will see you sluts in 2025. String shoot time.

Living or leaving, it's loving or leaving. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Chris Lord is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support, Stephen Colon is our audio engineer,

and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. It's love it or leave it.