Lovett or Leave It - Lovett Survived! (Live from Charlotte, NC)

Episode Date: June 21, 2024

Lovett or Leave It touches down in Charlotte, North Carolina for our first show back on tour! This week, Sydnee Washington gets Lovett up to speed. Tressie McMillan Cottom helps us slow down and appreciate the wordsmiths in our midst. Dante Pittman gets our heart rate up talking about extreme North Carolina Republicans, and we roll into our next show on the surging horse power of our audience’s rant suggestions. See you in Asheville!Tour dates & cities: crooked.com/eventsPre-order Democracy or Else, out June 25th: crooked.com/books 

What's up everybody? Hello Charlotte! Lovely to see all of you. I'm back! I survived. You know, you just, you... Do you not careen through life? If you're not doing it, I recommend it. I can't talk about it. I want to talk about it.

This is Kendra's great nightmare. You know, I'm so good. I am so good. Nobody knows a goddamn thing. I'm not going to talk about it. I'm really not going to talk about it. But the great risk was what was going to happen when I came on stage and had just the tiniest sip of a vodka soda. What was gonna come out?

This is the test. Oh, I wanna talk about that, but I can't. Not gonna do it. You're not gonna get me. You're not gonna get me. Tonight is about the amazing show we have coming up, recorded live from Charlotte, North Carolina on Juneteenth. Tressie McMillan-Cottam is back to catch me up on all the Michigan's from the past six

weeks. Why did I say Michigan? I was like Tommy. Michigan's from the past six weeks. State congressional candidate, Dante Pittman is here to talk about extreme moments in North Carolina politics and beyond. And Sydney Washington is back for a pop culture rundown. Plus we'll have some ran topics selected by you,

the audience, and we have live high notes. So please start thinking happy thoughts now. But first let's get into it. What a week. The Biden campaign released a new ad going hard at Trump and hammering him on his felony convictions. We've pivoted, explained new campaign manager, Commander Biden.

For those listening, we put a little suit on a dog. Let's take a look at the app. In the courtroom, we see Donald Trump for who he is. He's been convicted of 34 felonies, found liable for sexual assault, and he committed financial fraud. This election is between a convicted criminal who's only out for himself and a president who's fighting for your family. It's a good ad.

It's a good ad. Look, I was obviously out of town when the conviction took place, so let me just say now, 34 felonies is so many felonies. That's a felony for every year of my life. Shut up. In a, is this a good sign? Sign.

21% of independent voters told Politico in a new poll that Donald Trump's criminal conviction makes them less likely to support him and that it would be important in how they decided their vote. And sure, some of their other important factors are Mercury and retrograde and election day wind speed. But still, promising.

And just, as if like I have not yet decided how I'm going to vote. And yes, it's an important factor, but it's just a factor as I slide giant balls across an abacus. I'm undecided. Conviction moves me towards a Biden. Keep calling. Still crunching the numbers. We live in hell.

Meanwhile, speaking of being trapped in a room for what feels like an eternity, the Trump and Biden campaigns have agreed to the rules for the first presidential debate of 2024, which will be in Atlanta on June 27th. The most surprising rule, rule number three. And three, be nice. Rule number three is be nice. This is neither here nor there. But I haven't seen the Patrick Swayze film Roadhouse.

I've seen it since 1990. I saw it once on television and I was too young. I was too young when I saw Roadhouse. And so even though I don't remember any piece of it and I was too young probably to understand the plot, I do remember Patrick Swayze killing a man with his bare hands. And specifically I remember that his hand

is held in a strange position. Does anybody else remember that? That fucked me up. Cause he kind of like does like a, it's like I don't even understand what I saw. Did he break his neck? Did he rip his throat out? What did I fucking see?

He rips his throat out. That's really, cause I'm being honest. I have not, until this clip was pitched, I had not thought about the movie. And seared into my child brain is Patrick Swayze, may his memory be a blessing, ripping the throat out of a man's throat. The 90 minute debate will include two commercial breaks,

but the candidates won't be allowed to talk to their advisors while off the air. Oh no, 90 whole minutes where we can't talk to him? I hate that, said a Trump advisor, shaking like a shelter chihuahua. Just imagine that commercial break. The two of them standing in silence side by side of the urinals,

both desperately trying to squeeze out just a few drops of pee. Just fighting. Neither one of them acknowledging it, just like, I gotta pee a little bit. I gotta do it. I need to pee, but it's gonna take me too long. I gotta get back. Fuck. Fuck. There will be no opening statements. This of course comports with the clause in Trump's contract that says there can be no foreplay. Each candidate's microphone will be muted when it's not that person's turn to speak. Imagine being the Atlanta sound engineer who gets to push the button to mute Donald Trump. Imagine how much sex they're about to have.

Imagine what a letdown that sex will be after having pushed a button to mute Donald Trump. The rules warn that this time around, moderators will use all tools at their disposal to enforce timing and ensure a civilized discussion. Hell yeah, they will. Am I excited for this debate? No, I'm not. Am I excited for the part of this debate that involves the rules? Yes, I am.

If you could distill the emotional essence of, it's my job and duty to the country to enforce these debate rules into a physical human form, that form would be Jake Tapper. My main worry, other than the obvious concern that if Joe Biden has a bad night, we'll have Texas National Guard doing backpack checks at the Space Needle, and all the trans people will have to go to Canada

for top surgery like the guys going to Turkey for hair transplants. That's my main concern, but my other concern is that Jake will just never stop enforcing these rules in all circumstances, long after it's over. Also, I just wanna flag that don't worry, the moderators will run this presidential debate like obedience trainers at a facility

that rehabilitates fighting dogs. That is in and of itself a sign of how accustomed we've become to having to deal with Trump's shit all these years. Like, we're all applauding debate rules. This used to just be Jim Lehrer at a desk while two old guys had a conversation. Now it's like, we got to make sure that there's somebody with a fucking cattle prod.

And I know it's not in there, but we should probably remind the Trump people that they can't release a group of fucking voles into the audience to try to spook... Spook the Democrats. Steve Bannon will reportedly serve his four month prison sentence not at a cushy minimum security prison camp as he'd hoped, but rather at a low security federal prison in Danbury, Connecticut, which is better than where he currently lives, Steve Bannon's house.

Speaking of terrifying spaces you wouldn't want to send your daughter, on Monday, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called on Congress to require a warning label on social media like those on tobacco and alcohol. But are we talking about some kind of pop-up? Because we just close those, Vivek. We close them faster than the brain can perceive them. Pure reflex. Like a frog catching a bug.

That warning label better be superimposed on an Instagram reel of a hot guy making a scallion pancake, or not a soul is gonna look at it. No one can even see written type anymore if it isn't superimposed on Minecraft footage. Just get bored so quick, unless there's somebody running and jumping while someone else is

telling the story. I can't listen to a story if there isn't someone also decorating a cake. It's too boring. I need the cake or I'll move on. Murthy also called on tech companies to make changes but told the New York Times, I don't think we can solely rely on the hope that the platforms can fix this problem on their own. They've had 20 years.

Oh, you want to solve a problem in under 20 years, Vivek? In America? Now? This isn't the space race. This isn't hidden figures. It's 2024. Those days are over. Los Angeles still has four years until we're hosting the Olympics.

I don't think we're going to make it. They're going to be doing the uneven bars in the parking lot of a Winchell's donut shop. In very good news, the Biden administration announced Tuesday that it will take executive action to shield the undocumented spouses of U.S. citizens from deportation, a move that could protect about 500,000 immigrants. I just want to take a second to just appreciate how good this is. And you know, there was something that jumped out at me in some of the reporting on this, which is that for the people from, the immigrants from Mexico to whom this will apply,

they've lived in the US an average of 23 years, 23 years. And the only way to become a citizen would be to go back to Mexico for 10 years. Imagine being told that you either have to live as a second class non-citizen, unable to seek the protection of the laws, afraid of being taken advantage of by landlords and by employers, or you have to leave your family

for 10 years. Your family, by the way, that is American, American citizens, your husband or your wife is an American citizen, your children are American citizens, you've lived in this country most of your life, if not all the life that you can remember, and you're told you have to go home. So that's what he's fixing, right?

And by the way, you can apply to be, so you just leave the country to do it right now. You can just stay when you apply. And Republicans called this blanket amnesty. That's what we're dealing with. Republicans called this blanket amnesty. Biden in the announcement also called out Trump's rhetoric about immigrants as he announced this policy.

These are the fears my predecessor is trying to play on when he says immigrants, immigrants. And his words are poison the blood of the country. When he calls immigrants, in his words, animals. Now this order follows President Biden's decision earlier this month to restrict entry at the border, which drew criticism from activists and some Democrats. Joe Biden likes to keep everyone on their toes. In policy, on a windy day, as he has to do stairs. And you're right behind him, and you feel like even though nobody said anything,

you're just kinda, it's like you have a job. You know, when you're behind somebody on the stairs, you're like, I'm in a position of responsibility. Speaking of old guys who make us nervous, Senator Majority Leader Chuck Schumer posted a classic Father's Day photo. He was manning the grill for his family, but then he had to delete the photo, or chose to delete it,

after people pointed out that he had laid in the photo a slice of cheese on a still raw burger. And I just want us to take a moment to appreciate this photo because the cheese part isn't even like a top ten issue. The meat's the wrong color. That's first of all, let's start with that. And if you look in the photo, he's got a pair of glasses sitting face down on a cutting board.

Was there beef on that cutting board? Is that where the burgers came from? Why else would it be there? And then if you look at Chuck Schumer's head, you can see the kind of depression in his face where the glasses were. It's too tight. Those glasses were on too tight. There's a fucking Mars canal

going up and around his ears where those glasses were just pressed too deeply into the fucking skin. It's wild. Last week, Michigan GOP Congressional candidate Anthony Hudson posted a TikTok featuring an endorsement from an AI-generated Martin Luther King Jr. I have another dream. Yes, it is me, Martin Luther King. I came back from the dead to say something as I was saying I have another dream. That Anthony Hudson will be Michigan's eighth district's

next congressman. Yes, I have a dream again. Okay, now I am going back to where I came from. Goodbye. My name is Anthony Hudson and I approve this message. Okay, here's the thing. The pause and then the, okay, I gotta go back to where I came from. That is when it became a piece of art. Unfortunately, I don't make the rules on what art is.

But that's when that happened. Obviously pretty gross. The FBI had no idea where MLK's ghost was and they've been tracking him ever since. You know what's never made sense about Ghostbusters? Would MLK's ghost just get sucked up and put in the vault with Slimer and the other ghouls? There's just zero due process over there.

The EPA is the hero of that movie. Hudson had first seemed pretty annoyed that this went out in his name, blaming a staffer and saying, I would have never approved such a stupid, disrespectful video. He then went on to post, I sincerely apologize that all of you have seen this and I'm extremely furious about this situation. Anyway, you'd think that would be the last we'd hear of this candidate and his stupid

but hilarious staffer. But then a few hours later, Hudson did a complete reversal. He said, upon further review of the MLK video in question, I decided to not only keep my campaign staffer, but give him a raise. If MLK were alive today, I do believe he would endorse me and my vision for a better Michigan. Sure, and if James Dean were alive today, he'd probably laugh at all my jokes and kiss me on the lips.

We can all play this game, Hudson. I just love the evolution here. He had first reacted like a normal person, then he remembered that he's a Republican in 2024, like an episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Byrne gets hit on the head in his suite to everybody. Chuck Schumer deleted his beef pick. This guy, no apologies. Speaking of people getting their patties smoked,

George Norcross, a long-time Democratic power broker in New Jersey, was indicted on racketeering charges. The indictment describes Norcross threatening a developer over waterfront property by saying he would, quote, fuck you up like you've never been fucked up before. And I just found it weird that a corrupt New Jersey businessman sounds like the imaginary voice I give a deep dish pizza when it's set down in front of me. I'm in a sub-dom relationship with deep dish pizza. Speaking of being in deep, Justin Timberlake was arrested on a DWI charge and held for

nine hours after getting pulled over and failing a sobriety test in the Hamptons early Tuesday morning. That's right, the Justin Timberlake from the social network. Timberlake allegedly told police, I had one martini and I followed my friend's home. Couldn't be more of an obvious lie. No one has ever had one martini. That's not how martinis work. We also got Timberlake's mug shot. And I have to say, it is nice of them

to let him use his own ring light. Does he keep one in his car? Should I keep one in my car? According to Page Six, the cop who pulled Timberlake over was so young that he didn't recognize his face or name. Ugh. God damn it. God, getting pulled over by a cop that was born after 9-11.

In my opinion, too young. You should have to be able to identify Joey Fatone before you get a gun. That should be one of the rules. According to page six, Justin said under his breath, this is going to ruin the tour. The cop replied, what tour? And Justin said, the world tour.

That is awesome. Justin Timberlake telling a cop about his world tour sounds even sadder than I did as a child describing an imaginary friend. Sure you got a world tour there little buddy, you want some goldfish? Let's get something in that stomach. And finally, it's time for a segment we're calling

America's Least Wanted. Since we're here in beautiful North Carolina, we thought what better time to trot out one of your hometown circus wackos, Republican nominee for State Education Superintendent, Michelle Morrow. Don't go vote. Morrow is running to oversee all of North Carolina's public schools, which educate 1.3 million children, which is of course a natural progression for a, it says here, property manager. for a, it says here, property manager. Everyone's favorite, a property manager. Not only does Mauro not have a background in education,

she doesn't believe in public education at all. She homeschools or find children and is regularly called public schools indoctrination centers, but not in the school in her living room where math begins at conception. Mauro's stage of surprise upset in the primary in March, edging out the incumbent GOP State Superintendent,

Catherine Truitt, by four points. Maro ran a vicious campaign against Truitt and railed against her as part of the educational establishment, which I guess is just code for has been inside a school before. Maro really does seem to have a lot of time in her hands, despite allegedly being the sole educator for five children. And I guess that's how she wound allegedly being the sole educator for five children.

And I guess that's how she wound up at the Capitol on January 6th. Maro claimed, I shit you not, that she took her oldest children there as a field trip to teach them a lesson about the citizens' role in our democracy. It really is beautiful. One person, one vote, one Viking helmet, one dump on Nancy Pelosi's desk. One vote. One Viking helmet. One dump on Nancy Pelosi's desk. On her now-deleted Twitter account, Maro regularly espoused conspiracy theories

that the 2020 election was stolen, Democrats drank the blood of children, Obama was a Muslim plant sent to destroy America. But in fairness to Maro, she didn't just pull those ideas from thin air. They're part of the standard school curriculum where she teaches. You get it. You get it. She also tweeted in 2020 that she wants to see President Obama killed live on television,

along with calling for the deaths of Ilan Omar, Chuck Schumer, and Dr. Anthony Fauci. And look, I'm as annoyed as anyone that Fauci's book is number one, above the book John Tommy and I have coming out. Because it's like, what did he ever do except destroy the economy? Oh, tough crown. But still, and still violence isn't the answer. Book purchases is the answer.

And look, I know there are a lot of angry maniacs running for office all over the place here in North Carolina, and it can be easy to grow a bit of nerd to it all, but Michelle Morrow is one of the scariest candidates around not just because of her violent and conspiratorial worldview but because she has a real chance of winning and turning the three R Rs in North Carolina schools to reading the Bible, reading the Bible, and reading the Bible. You get it. So head on over to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 to sign up, learn more and fight back. You haven't signed up yet. Now is the time it's here.

There are debating in fucking June. The election is here. We're in what could only be described as what will feel like an eternally long home stretch. And that's been America's least wanted. Nice. All right. We will be right back. Coming up next, Trezzy McMillan Cottom is here. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage friend of the show and I hope me personally after I absolutely

crushed this segment, it's the incredible Tressie McMillan Cottom. Hi, it's good to see you. Thank you for being here. It's a lot of y'all. Hey, it's a lot of people. Good to see you. Thank you for being here. It's a lot of y'all. Hey, it's a lot of people. It is a lot of people. Yeah. You were at our Asheville show last time.

Yes, I was. We're gonna head to Asheville, but it's so nice of you to be here. Thanks, good to see you. I'm a huge fan. I really am. Thank you. I don't know if it's true, but I don't care.

Thank you. It is true. Okay, thanks. It is true. It is true. So you're very good at TikTok. I am. I mean, I am. OK. What a shift. I don't I don't try to be. I really am a text based person.

Twitter was my thing. I don't approve a video. I don't. Yeah, I don't really like it. I'm not a fan, but it's where the people are. And I really got on to see if I could figure out how it worked. And then people found me and it was all downhill from there. You know what's interesting about it is that I do think for like, there are a lot of people for whom TikTok is not necessarily their native language.

Basically everyone over 30. And... What you trying to say, John? I'm saying we're both over 30. Oh, okay. And what was interesting is like, there are a lot of people who are trying, and it comes across as trying, but you're one of those rare people that has a kind of, there's something about TikTok where when people come on

there and they try to put on a show, they get caught, but you don't seem to be doing that. And I think it has to do with knowing yourself. Do you feel like that's part of why you're appealing to people? No, but there's a kind of, but like, and like, I think there's, there are people who are 20 and know themselves, there are people who are 60 who don't. But

you, like, but do you feel that, that, that people are coming to you because there's a sense in which there's a, they can trust you because you're not putting on a show. Do you know what I'm saying? Geez. Okay. So I don't know if I was, if I'm prepared for self-reflection, you know, I never, I actually never understand exactly why people read me, follow me, watch me. I'm always grateful, but I think there must be like a million stories for why people are there.

But I like to think that I know who I am, mostly because I know who I'm not. And all the stuff left over, I go, okay, yeah, is that me, then yeah, is that me? Then yeah, that's me. And I remember early on in like making the transition to TikTok, someone said to me, you know, the TikTok audience and that TikTok generation

is very discerning. Like they don't want you selling them anything, right? They can sniff out a false performance, right? And they resented. And I thought, well good, because I don't know how to do any of that. So that's fine. And it's really hard to pretend to be something you're not. I actually think that's what's wrong

with a lot of public figures. It's really hard to maintain multiple voices without starting to hear them all in your head at the same time. And so mostly I'm trying to protect my sanity by being exactly who I am as much as possible. That's good. I'm gonna keep doing this character. I don't think, I think this is you. Yeah it probably is. Yeah. I'm not disciplined enough. There are people that put on, I don't have the skill set.

Exactly. No, it isn't. That's actually a good thing. I think only two kinds of people can maintain a lie across time and make people believe it and be consistent with that lie. And it's like politicians and serial killers. So I actually think it's fine to say I don't have the dedication required to create an avatar of myself and maintain it.

Yeah. So speaking of politicians, on TikTok, you're recently talking about basically the impact of the 2000 election and Al Gore. And can you just talk a little bit about that? Well, kind of like Justin Timberlake, I'm very dismayed that there are young people. And I teach college students who have been born very recently. And it only occurred to me. So I'm constantly finding something that they didn't know that's very tangible for me.

And one of them is the 2000 election. And so we can talk about how we kind of got here. And I think there, yes, Trump is both a convergence and a divergence and a distraction. We can certainly talk about, I think, what happened during the Clinton years, et cetera. But I think that the 2000 election is a real, there's a really strong argument that that's where,

one, a lot of people lost faith in our ability to have a meaningful election and we start to see this polarization that now defines our political discourse emerge after that. I think it is where we start to see this sort of rogue Supreme Court feel its power and we see what's happened since then, right? And so I think that we would have made

maybe more meaningful progress in our response to climate change, have we done that? And since I think a lot of our economic anxiety is rooted in us resisting dealing with climate change, I just can imagine a whole world where we weren't making politics based on panic and fear. And all of that to my mind really kind of starts with that election.

Speaking of that kind of climate anxiety and economic anxiety and and tick-tock there really is a lot of I think well earned cynicism out there and That cynicism is going to play out in who does and doesn't turn out to vote and I'm curious What you say to a young person who's writing to you? about Why they feel like they don't feel any urge to participate in the election or they don't think it matters

or they don't believe that they should be turning out to vote for Joe Biden? Like, how do you talk to somebody who's feeling that way? And I have a lot of this, again, I'm surrounded by a lot of young people, and I hear this often for a range of reasons, either a political identity, like they are anarchists, or just being disconnected from the political process.

And I honestly think the very first thing we should do is acknowledge that them feeling that way is rational. Depending on when you were born in this country over the last 20 years, you watched your government let children die at school, your friends, people your age, and not do anything about guns. If you are a young person who only knows the last 15, 20 years of American political life,

you have watched the concerns of the people around you who you love and rely on, their concerns not be reflected in the people they vote for. So the first thing I say to them is, I get it, right? I think it's absolutely reasonable. I think we take the wrong tack when we try to convince them that they just don't understand. You know, let me just sit you down

and tell you about the real world, kid. You know, I find that young people today are very, very aware of the real world. And what they are seeing is true. There is a disconnect between our political representation and what most Americans care about, right? On issue after issue. And we go, how did we get here? And they can see it.

And they go, well, why participate? So first, to acknowledge that it's real and it's rational. But then I try to say to them, after listening to them, reflecting back what I think is real, and I say, well, the thing is, this is the world you've got now. I get wanting a better world, I do, I always want one, but tomorrow is the world you gotta worry about because you don't get to 10 years from now

if you don't handle tomorrow. And I tell them that voting is about tomorrow, right? So when you wake up tomorrow, who do you hope is in the room making the decisions about the things that you care about? Now, I don't mean who do you love in the room, right? So part of what's happened, I think, with political polarization in this country is

that our political identity has become our identity identity. And we think that we need to like the people. Really, you just need someone who is afraid enough of voters to do voters' will. Right? You don't have to love them. Right? We don't need celebrities as politicians, I don't think. And so I try to say to them,

they're really pragmatic concerns that don't require you to be happy. Right? Actually, I think we got that all wrong. I don't think we're all supposed to be happy. I think we're all supposed to be roughly equally unhappy. Right? And so let's try to tip those scales back to that.

Right now, a lot of people are happy who don't deserve to be. And... And so let's tilt that back and let's spread that around. That's democracy. I love that. Yeah, it is, that is such a... It is, that is a big part of the challenge, right? This idea that like, when identity gets wrapped up in politics, like, and I've always been

in that, I've been in the same place as you have, I've never, that's never been how politics was for me. Like I always viewed inspiration as like, it's a valuable tool for a politician to have to inspire people to vote for them. But if you say you need to be inspired, if you actually like follow that logic all the way to the end, you're like, you mean, you know what you're supposed to do, but you won't do it unless somebody rouses you. Exactly. You just said, you know what you think needs to happen.

So who cares if you're inspired? Exactly. Go, go, go to the, goFs, you know, leave me alone. Adulthood is almost unilaterally about doing things you don't want to do, right? And so this is excellent practice for that, yeah. Yeah, it is, but then, you know, inspiration's nice. It's a nice to have.

Listen, inspiration is nice. But I do think that we have fallen a little too in love with it. And I share your same concern. Like, I don't really trust your motivation for doing the right thing if someone had to inspire you to do it. Like, it may work out for us in the short term,

but I don't think that's a long-term practical strategy for building the world we wanna live in. You have to get up every day and do the thing. Some of my favorite activists and organizers in the world say that hope is action, hope is what you do, it's not what you feel. You don't have to feel hopeful to do the hopeful thing. Right, just like you don't have to love somebody to be loving, right?

And so you don't have to like believe in everything somebody's saying and wait for them to like have the Holy Ghost move over you, right? To do the thing. We have a responsibility to each other that shouldn't require inspiration. It is nice. I go to the rally sometimes, and when you got somebody, a figure like a Barack Obama or a Bill Clinton,

I've been in those convention halls, and it's amazing. They're so good at it. But we shouldn't need that. The stakes are high enough that I don't think we need to have a prom every time we go to the ballot box. Yeah.

And I think the, and I think a positive rendering, like, another way to see that, too, is not, oh, like, you don't need it being in Delta's heart, do what you're supposed to do. The other side of it is, it's not really about them, right? Like, what's inspiring is all of us coming together to put ourselves in a position to take a step towards the future that we want. And no, Joe Biden doesn't get us to that future, but Donald Trump makes that future impossible.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now, this is just before we get to, we're gonna play a little game, but before we get to that,

you're working on a piece about AI. I am. And I just. How do you know that? It just says it here on this card. OK, all right. Now, the question is, should Hallie, our head writer, who is currently typing this question for me, John Lovett, to speak aloud, switch industries?

this question for me, John Lovett, to speak aloud, switch industries? No, I mean, that's like jumping from the frying pan, I think, into the fire. So my position so far on AI is this, there are some discrete, amazing potential for what AI can do and things like healthcare and certain parts of manufacturing, et cetera. It is not, however, what is being marketed as. So the marketing of AI is very different from what AI can do. And if you talk to anybody sober in that industry, they'll tell you that.

The only people who, the only people who are saying anything about how next week all the jobs are gonna be gone and you won't have to do this because AI will do that. The biggest problems facing us as a society are not issues of productivity, which AI is great at increasing. American workers are actually very productive, believe it or not, our problems are around things related to care and care work, raising children, taking care of the elderly, housing for the unhoused, healthcare, and AI is not

useful in any of those arenas. So when people get really excited about its transformative potential, I go, transforming how much of our life that actually matters. And that's actually very little. So no, I think this is a better job for the short term because it still needs human beings, but the AI, no, let's not jump. I saw an interview where an executive from someone

involved in an email service of some kind was talking about how they were very excited about this AI integration, because it would allow the AI to receive your emails, read them, and then respond on your behalf unless they thought it was important, and it would then let you respond. And then the interviewer said,

but then if I have that AI and you have that AI, I email, my email responds automatically to your email, which responds automatically to my email. And the executive just didn't take that in and goes like, it's going to save us so much time. Now, Chessie, you're a trusted voice, which is why we're gonna play a game called Marjorie Taylor Green with Envy. You are gonna read me absurd political quotes from the last month that I most likely have truly not heard before. I really hope you have not heard these.

Some of them I really have not heard. I don't actually know what's in there, but I think I still have big gaps from the past month. I'm very envious of you. I'm gonna rank them on a scale of one to four based on how much they make me say, God, that's really fucking funny. I wish I'd written that.

Okay. Are you ready? Ready. All right, take us away. So first up, we have the Divine Jasmine Crockett's retort. Uh-huh. To a nasty little piece of cornbread, Marjorie Taylor Greene. So Marjorie commented insulting

the Congresswoman's fake eyelashes because she likes to throw punches. And, well, my girl said this back. If someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody's bleach-blonde, bad-built butch body, that would not be the person that you're talking about. Oh, what now? I heard about that.

I had not seen it. I had not seen it. I had not seen it. I love it. Try saying it. Bleach blonde bad, bleach blonde bad bitch, butch body. Yeah. Bleach blonde butch body. It's great stuff.

It's really good stuff. It's really good. It's really good. AI could never write that. No. No. Because it has meaning. It has meaning. It's not just a mirror.

That's right. It's not just a mirror. It's something new. Yeah. Oh, I'm going to rate that. That's a four. I mean, that's just a four out of four. Come on.

Yeah, that's on top. OK. While you were off, I'm not going to say this to you. I think it was all right that you were off playing Lord of the Middle-Aged Flies. Um, hey, it's fine. So I'm not gonna say that. I'm not saying that. Getting absolutely reamed on these cards.

Joe Biden challenged Donald Trump to two debates with this WWE style fight night promo. Not kidding. Donald Trump lost two debates to me in 2020. Since then he hadn't shown up for debate. Now he's acting like he wants to debate me again. Well make my day pal. I'll even do it twice. So let's pick the dates, Donald.

I hear you're free on Wednesdays. Cause that was when he wasn't in court. That it I love it and sure it's edited to within an inch of its fucking life we'll be alright we'll be alright I like I'm gonna give that a I'm gonna give that a 2 I'm gonna say that's a 2 I think a 2 is it's a dirty hairy performance yeah I it not working? Yeah, I mean, I like the energy. I like the little punchy joke at the end. Yeah, I like it. I like it.

Two and a half, two and a half, right in the middle. Two and a half. Okay. I do like it. I do like it. So next up, we have RFK Jr. of the Kennedys, in case you don't know. In case it hasn't been said a million times. On his brain worm. Okay?

Yeah, you never should have come back. So, as reported by the New York Times, the presidential hopeful said during a 2012 divorce deposition that doctors saw a spot during an MRI that they believed to be a tumor, but that in actuality it was, quote, caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died. He then tweeted, he's not dumb, he then tweeted after the Times published that report,

Kennedy wrote, I offer to eat five more brain worms and still beat President Trump. A real thing that happened. Yeah man, wow. I hope it died. Right? It's still in there kind of munching. I mean, it did make sense of this, like, how someone goes from being an environmental lawyer

to whatever this is. You know? Just sort of nibbling away at the frontal cortex. Yeah. I want to know what part of his brain. You know what I mean? Where are we talking about? I mean, really, is any of it worth salvaging? I don't know. Okay. I mean, can you start

off with the last name Kennedy and you end with brain worms. You know, I mean, it's, look, here's the thing. Here's the thing. They've been, they've been coasting on a reputation. Let's come on now. Come on. No comments. Wait, oh, we can't talk. I don't. Come on. No comments. Wait. Oh, we can't talk. I don't want that smoke.

No. I mean, I don't know. Once a bootlegger. I mean, they're just, they're just. What is that? What is that? I'm an anti-bootlegger. One to four, you like this.

I think that's a three. I think that Kennedy coming out and saying, actually, it was a worm in my brain is pretty funny. Okay. And he committed to the bit. I think that's a thing, right? Okay. Also, man, what a divorce where that's coming up. It's like, you know what I mean? It's like, how fucking messed up is this divorce that you're at the actually, it was a worm that ate my brain, Helen. Like, what the fuck? Like, what are they? Are they supposed to be dividing assets? How is that part of the proceedings? What kind of fucking arguments are they having before that family court judge that you're

at the stage where you're showing them an MRI of your worm-rattled fucking mind? It's supposed to be about who gets the Buick. Royalty, they're just like us. OK. And finally, here is Donald Trump, the gift that keeps given, speaking at a New Jersey rally for his presidential campaign. Now, just a reminder, this man was already president of the United States once.

I want you to keep that in mind. Silence of the Lamb. Has anyone ever seen the Silence of the Lamb? The late great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man. He oftentimes would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? Excuse me, I'm about to have a friend for dinner. Is this poor doctor walking by? I'm about to have a friend for dinner, but Hannibal Lecter. Congratulations, the late, great Hannibal Lecter. What the fuck? The late, great, the late, great.

Great. So that means he thinks Hannibal Lecter is real. The late, great. It's just like, look, you can't, here's the reality. AI can't produce drama. He's a four out of four writing wise. We got to face it. It's just what he is.

He's just what he is. I don't like it. I wish it weren't so. Yeah. But you know, if wishes were horses. You'd have a lot of them, I guess. I don't know. Tressie, thank you so much.

Tressie will be back for some of the rants. But Tressie will do it. Give it here. Thank you so much. That was so great. We'll be right back with Don Jay Pittman. And we're back! Please welcome to the stage your future state congressman from North Carolina's District 24 if I have anything to say about it.

And I don't, it's just this conversation is all I got. Dante Pittman! How you doing? Thanks for being here. Nice to meet you. Come on in. Look at all this. You've been doing some workout here. Yeah, I'm going to make a mess. Thanks for having me in your state. We're glad to have you here and glad that you made it back safely. Wow there's such um charm. Southern charm. It's

abrasive for me. I'm sorry I know it's good. I know people like it. It's just something I have to get used to. So you were born in Wilson. Born Pirates? Oh we got it. Well I went to UNC so I gotta tell you, go Hills. So first of all what led you to run for office? Oh well I would tell you that I just got married last November so I don't know if I have a lot of good sense getting into this this year but when we were looking at our state legislature and we were looking at our state legislature and we were looking at some of the most backwards thinking that you could think of and the folks that are representing this, my wife and I said we can't stand

for this. I will tell you at that point in time we hadn't gotten married yet so I was like well we got a little bit on our plate I got to make sure I don't mess this up. But we got called to go to Rock Ridge, North Carolina. And for those that don't know, that's the home of former Governor Jim Hunt, who is the longest-serving governor in our state's history. And when we got there, we were telling Governor Hunt, we're not sure if this is something we're ready for. This is a really big task. And he stopped us and he looked me in the eye and he said, North Carolina is a worthwhile project. From that point on, we've been running

and running to win. So, let's talk about North Carolina as a worthwhile project because it does seem to me just from the outside that there are these two competing trends, one of which is this state growing younger, more diverse, and being a place where young progressives and Democrats can find a constituency, a place where consistently, people say, we can elect a Democrat to the center, or we can win it for the White House. But at the same time, there has been a rightward tilt

among Republicans. And you've seen some of the most extreme policies coming out of Republicans in this state. What's going on? What's happening here? Well, I will tell you, I hear that quite often when folks are asking about North Carolina. Where are you?

What's going on there? And one of the things that I remind people that aren't from here is we've been doing this for a long time, actually. If you look back to our state's history, go back to the 1950 Senate race. Frank Porter Graham, he was the UNC Chapel Hill Chancellor, some of you know, and he was running

on a platform of integration in the 1950s. So we were there. Then we got Terry Sanford that was running, and then he was trying to push North Carolina forward. That got passed to Governor Jim Hunt. And then we've been passing that baton on to people, like you all know well, Harvey Gant, that was standing up against extremist Jesse Helms.

So we have a history of that fight, but it's not been easy for us in this state. We know this, and I know this because I've been so fortunate to have leaders that have come before me that have been in these fights, that are passing that baton and saying, we have got to keep working to move North Carolina forward. We can't take a step back.

So we're good at this thing. And that's why I'm confident in the year 2024, we're gonna knock these extremists out because we know how to do it in North Carolina. You're under 30. 28. Don't brag about being young. It's like bragging about not being hit by a train yet.

You're on the tracks, my friend. We're all on the fucking tracks. I don't have a question. But what's it like being a member of Gen Z? I believe it's pronounced. You'd be going into a legislature where you'd be, would you be the only person under 30 or one of the only people under 30? Well, I will tell you, no.

We have somebody that's running here in Charlotte, my good friend Jordan Lopez, who I hope he wins because he's uncontested. But he- Oh, wouldn't that be nice? Yeah. God, wouldn't that be a dream? Well, I told him, I said, look, I'm pulling for you. You should get it, but I hate you at the same time, man,

because I'm running the most competitive district in the state, can we swap? But one of the things that we've talked about is, it's gonna be a little bit of a culture shock when we do this thing. But I think there's a great opportunity there to get folks excited about what's going on at the state level here in North Carolina

and why that's so important. And listening to what you said in the previous segment and what you all were talking about, students that are sometimes disengaged, young people that can't find a reason to get out and to vote and to get involved in politics. My hope is that alongside with Jordan, that we can show folks it's not easy,

it takes time, but it's worth getting engaged for. I have a pitch for you. When you win, if you want to ingratiate yourself some of these older members, you go into their office, you go to their television, you find the remote, you turn off the motion smoothing on their television because they come on and it has that VCR look that people hate but they don't understand. You get in there and you say actually it's a different name for every kind of television. This is where it is on LG.

This is where it is on TLC. You get in there, turn that off, gets more of a filmic quality. You're the hero. Well, I will credit you when I do it. I think it's a, no bad ideas in a brainstorm. Dante. It really cannot be understated

how extreme Republicans have gotten here in North Carolina. Even as someone who is contractually obligated to follow the news, your Republicans are raising the bar for GOP... I don't know, we'd call it nuttery. In fact, the way I see it, North Carolina Republicans are like the Panera Charged Lemonade. They're obviously dangerous and bad for public health,

but somehow we're all gonna let it slide until enough people die that it becomes bad for publicity. Too much? Which is why... He didn't say it, I said it, which is why we're going to play a game we're calling Seems a Little Extreme. Oh, look at that. Here's how it works. I'm going to ask you about some of the most extreme things facing America and North Carolina.

Some of them are Republicans, some of them are going to be pop culture related. All of them will be rated by you on this amazing scale of one to five Panera-charged Lemonades. They just had these things coming out of hoses. It was basically motor oil. All right, first up, after approving a huge expansion of to their private school voucher plan last year, North Carolina Republicans are currently trying

to push through a budget that would worth $248 million to the program, all while the state's public schools struggle endlessly to educate the vast majority of North Carolina's children. Dante, tell me, how many Panera-charged lemonade's worth of Extreme are we talking about here on a scale of one to five? It is absolutely five. Let me tell you, here in this state of North Carolina,

the reason that we are the great state, oh sorry we had a, we had a, they didn't break me on that John. There's a graph, it looks, this thing's hot off the presses, this beautiful graphic. The reason that we are a great state is because of our public education. You know, one of the things that I've heard about from our former congressman G.K. Butterfield is he talks about how he remembers when we were a state of dirt roads and when folks had to fight to get their children education. I will tell you, I was born and raised by a single mother. I would not be here today without the teachers in those classrooms and the school support

staff to help me get there. Would not be possible. And for the other side to talk about, well, we need freedom of choice. What they are doing is they're taking away a choice of a good quality public education. Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! All right, next up. All right, next up. How extreme is this on a scale of one to five charged lemonade's Hidden Valley Ranch flavored ice cream from Van Luen. You know what would go well with ranch flavored ice cream, Dante? Between one and five glasses of Panera Charged Lemonade.

What do you think? It is ranch flavored ice cream. Good Lord. I will say I'll give that a three. Okay, I think that's right. Ranch flavored ice cream. Good Lord. I will say, I'll give that a three. Okay, I think that's right. I think that's right. I think that's right. Right there in the middle.

Maybe savory ice cream, maybe it's not so bad. We don't know. We don't know, we're just judging. I don't even like ranch either, by the way, but I'm still gonna give it a three. We're trying to get you elected. You don't like ranch? My wife told me, she said, whatever you do,

do not say something crazy like that when you go out there. And I failed her. What do you, what do you like? What are you dipping in? What are we dipping? What are we dipping a chicken wing in? Ketchup and barbecue sauce. So, so two things.

Whoa! Whoa! It's a good thing I'm not running in Charlotte now, isn't it? Is there anywhere where people applaud dipping a wing in ketchup? What do you put on a hot dog? You have to be honest. This is important.

Completely honest. I ordered a hot dog just yesterday. Chili and onions. Okay. Okay. I'll accept that. I'll accept that. Oh.

Just look. Okay. I'll accept that, I'll accept that. Just look, I believe, I don't wanna yuck other people's yum, but the only time I like to see, the only ketchup on a hot dog that makes sense to me if it's cut in little pieces for a child. You know what I'm saying? That's fair. Yeah, once you can vote, it's mustard or fucking go home. Lieutenant Gov, your next issue. Just taking positions, just getting a rise out of people.

Mark Robinson, your lieutenant governor, Jesus. Has said of reproductive rights, abortion in this country is not about protecting the lives of mothers. It's about, if you weren't responsible enough to keep your skirt down. Oh. How many, how many, uh, lemonades?

Can I say six? You can say six. Yeah. Yeah. Can I say six? You can say six. Look, let me just say real quick that my first job out of college was working for Attorney General Josh Stein. And even if he wasn't running against the craziest man in North Carolina, he would be

who we need to be our governor. You talk about somebody that is smart, compassionate, goes to work every day caring about the North Carolina people, and the fact that he is running against this guy, Mark Robinson is not fit to shine his shoes. Next up, the Mandalorian, the Book of Boba Fett, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Andor. And now with the Acolyte, there are six Star Wars TV shows. Six! I feel extreme to me. But how extreme?

How extreme is it? This feels like a good three and a half. Whoa! We just lost them again, John. What a strange thing to have such a strong opinion on. That's obviously incorrect in this game. That's clearly by my standards, four Panera Lemonades. You're a bunch of freaks. You're a bunch of freaks. Earlier this month, North Carolina Congressman Dan Bishop compared Donald Trump's hush money prosecution to the kind of trial a black person would have faced in Alabama in 1950. How many liters of Panera lemonade are we looking at, Dante?

You know, before I stepped out here, I was thinking it would be so nice if we could not give each one of these things a five, just to show a good friendly spirit. I can't do it for them. You can't do it. Five again. It's five again. It's five again. Yeah, I mean, say you're probably going to call it a five that beyond that. Uh, Mark Robbins called Beyonce a devil worshiping skank.

Well, by the way, like, Hey, is there anybody inside the North Carolina Republican Party doing any kind of vetting on these people? Well, I'll tell you, they didn't against my opponent. And I will tell you you my opponent not only has called abortion black genocide but he compared Barack Obama to Hitler and I will tell you he is also the only black Republican in the legislature and as a black man I could not find that any more offensive we need to get rid of these people because they don't share our values. It's that simple.

And finally, Panera charged lemonade itself. A large contains up to 390 milligrams of caffeine. That's so much. You know what? I think it's starting to kind of give some of this lemonade out at your campaign stops. Get some, get people knocking on doors with this stuff. I'm going to give that a one. I think we need more of this in North Carolina. Let's do it. Let's do it. Where can people go to support the campaign? We invite you to go to PittmanFrenzy.com. Again, we are running in the most competitive district in North Carolina.

This race is going to make the difference on whether we break the supermajority. Folks, we've got to do it this year. We've got to do it. And just so people understand before you go, if everybody does everything they can, and we elect Josh Snyde in North Carolina, what is the difference between breaking and not breaking the supermajority in the daily experience of people in North Carolina? So one of the things that is so important for you to tell your family, your friends,

and your neighbors is right now we have a democratic governor, a wonderful governor, Roy Cooper. Friend of the shot. But he is battling a supermajority in the legislature and they are able to override his vetoes because they vote 100% down the party line and that's why they're able to harm public schools, take away our health care, and not look out for small businesses. So folks, it is so important to look at these legislative races and let's break the super majority. All right.

Thank you so much, Donde. Good luck in the race. Sure, come back when we're here next year and you've won this thing. Donde Pitman, everybody. Coming up next, Sydney Washington buckles up and punches down. And we're back!

She's been on every best comedian list. Sydney Washington, come on out. You've waited so long. Thank you. Do a whole intro. the one and only. Thank you for being here. Good to see you. Thank you so much. I love that intro. You were like, everybody loves her, come on on.

We're waiting in the wings. Yes. Thank you for being here. So first of all, how's your pride going? You know, can I be honest? Yeah. It's high. My pride is high. It like I feel like I didn't get enough invites like weeks ago.

I'm getting a lot of invites the day before. So I'm feeling like an afterthought gay, which is crazy. That is crazy. Yeah. But you know, I always feeling like an afterthought gay, which is crazy. That is crazy. Yeah. But you know, I I always feel like that. I always feel like that. I'm proud. I always feel like I'm I always feel like I know pride is happening, but I'm not I'm like one. I always feel like I'm catty corner to pride.

You know what I mean? Mm hmm. I feel like maybe I'm not I'm not putting enough billable hours for my gay. I don't know what it is. Because how come the gays with the events are not inviting me in a proper amount of time? Are you submitting your pay stubs? Are you getting the reimbursement? I'm bad with that.

I'm bad with that. But I'm like- You let them pile up and then do all the receipts at once, that kind of a thing? No, I'm not that type of girly. But I just feel like maybe I should be more vocal online about it. I mean, I've been gay for like 12 years now, so I feel like they should know who I am, but I need to speak to the representative of the events of Pride.

I feel like this is not a Pride community right now. Y'all should be upset for me. Yeah, what's going on? You do Pride in August? That is homophobic because that is the end of the summer. So everybody's worn out, worn down, drugged out, knees bent. Like, no, that's not what you're supposed to have.

Pride at the top of summer when you have all the energy, you're's not what, you're supposed to have pride at the top of summer when you have all the energy, you're taking your vitamins, you're drinking water, I mean, by August, all the gays have cotton mouth, I don't know, it's just, we should not be having pride at that time. August, I'll accept, I would even accept, I mean, it's, you know, it can be hot in the summer. An October event, there are places that will do

an October Pride. I'll respect, I don't like it. But I'll respect it. August, I don't think so. Disrespectful. I don't think so. Are there any Pride Month discourse arguments you'd like to participate in?

Because I missed a few, like, bisexual girls bringing their boyfriends to Pride. Do you have a take on that? What do you think? Well, I'm a controversial gay right now because I had a little stint. I relapsed on some men after a gay breakup during Pride last year.

And so I did about like four months of just hell and I spoke about it and so you know a lot of I called myself a lowercase L and the uppercase L's didn't LOL to agree with you on that, but yes. Just kidding, lesbians. The all-cap lesbians were not happy with my little jokes, and so they're like, just say you're bisexual, you're embarrassing. You can't, I don't know if I can say it,

you dick-sucking piece of shit. Like they were sending me dissertations. And I said, sis, it sound like y'all need some dick. I don't know, it was bad. It was bad, it was bad. They were stressing me. And so, you know, obviously I don't have a boyfriend to bring to Pride because I, you know, I've elevated.

I'm back to where I need to be. But it is a conversation. And I do believe, you know, we're need to be. But it is a conversation and I do believe, you know, we're supposed to be having these spaces that we're different from the straights. Cause we're like, come as you are, everybody come, like have fun, let's be free. Unless you have a boyfriend, then that's weird.

And so I think the conversation should be had because some of the people are bringing their boyfriends and they're not putting their car down. Like if your boyfriend is gonna come, he's gotta pay for all the games. Like that's just how it is. Yes, I think. You're not on board with that?

No, I think that that's right. I think it's a little bit like when it's a wedding and the couple is debating whether or not to say, oh, that person should bring their plus one or not, right? Cause maybe it's a wedding with no plus ones except for married couples, but then they've been together a long time. And the conversation is more like,

well, if they're gonna, are they gonna bring Jared? That wedding is gonna be terrible. I don't know why, like, is everybody should, everybody bring, bring who you supposed to, to be a single person at a wedding, I don't recommend. I'm not, I'm not make, I'm, listen, I'm not defending these people. Okay, okay, I'm just, cause I've been the single person

at a wedding and I couldn't bring anybody and then I'm with the couples and it just makes me be like, no love. Everybody should not be in love right now. No, I think that that's, I think that that's, that's right. And that's the energy most weddings have, but the, No, I think that that's right. And that's the energy most weddings have. But the...

But what I was, all I was getting at is it's like, are you bringing your boyfriend to Pride with his arms crossed, standing at the back? Are you bringing your boyfriend to Pride who is like two drinks and all of a sudden is just gay for the day? You know what I'm saying? Like, you have to be Pride, you have to come,

you're not just attending a physical space, you have to go to Pride. Right? You can... You have to be prideful. You have to come, you're not just attending a physical space, you have to go to pride. Right, you can- You have to be pride. Right, you can be at pride without going to pride. You know what I'm saying? Yes. You can't just attend.

You have to attend. I will say the bisexual conversation, I think it's getting dry. It's just like, we should not be like involved in other people's like sexualities. They should be able to do whatever they want. Long as it's not impeding on other people and their spaces, then I'm just, I'm tired of the conversation.

Yeah, I feel like I did some like evolving, not bisexual boyfriends have always been welcome to me, but I think that like when I was growing up, bisexual was a joke, really was. It was like if a girl was bisexual, she was just doing that in college, and if a guy was bisexual, he was gay and not ready to say so yet.

Like that was the joke. And taking on the label of gay was like kind of coming out at like kind of around 2000, like it's this space between, right? Like where I was, like there was acceptance, but there still was a lot of internal and external homophobia. And so it was complicated, but I do think that like I still felt like, I think taking on the label of gay takes so much for a lot of people. And they feel, I think, a little bit like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this is our space.

And that bisexuality and also just sort of the growing number of identities and labels and the bringing in of not just sexual orientation, but gender expression and gender identity, I think, challenged a lot of people around the importance of this conception of being gay as this special border, hard border space that identified a group of people and identified a group of people who weren't included. And I think accepting that actually some of these labels themselves may be part of the past and this is a spectrum and actually these don't define us as well as we thought, I think hits at people's identity a little bit. Yeah, well, definitions are always changing,

and we have to understand that things are going to evolve. But I just think in this time and space, if we are trying to say that we want to include, we want inclusion, but then say, oh, but not this, then we are no better than the people who are being homophobic and transphobic and all the phobias. And I agree with that. And I think you can believe everything you said, but if your boyfriend has cargo shorts and a backwards fucking Boston Red Sox hat,

no, we can't come in. And that's not about, and that's just the rules. And that's a good rule. That's just a good rule. And it has nothing to do with the argument. That should be in front of the club. You know how some of these clubs are like, no hats, no sneakers, no hoodies. It should be like, no straight boyfriends if they have cargo shorts and the keys and the pantagonia fleece vest and the flip flops with the bad haircuts. It should get specific like that. People weren't prying up cobblestones at Stonewall to let that guy in.

Yeah. People weren't prying up cobblestones at Stonewall to let that guy in. Yeah. All right, Sydney, as I alluded, I have been almost entirely off the grid. And I've been briefed on some of the political headlines, but I'm not yet up to speed on pop culture. And so you are going to quiz me on the news that I would have seen on Twitter and thought, oh, huh, wow.

In a segment we're calling Back on the Scroller Coaster. Okay. True or false? Ariana Grande left and then reconciled with that guy who played SpongeBob Squarepants on Broadway. They broke up and got back together? Ah. I'm going to say... I'll say false. She is still with that guy. That's crazy.

She still... We will not name his name. That guy. She's with him. I hope they're happy. I don't. I don't. Okay. Uh, so, you know who Drake and Kendrick Lamar is, right? Yes.

Okay, just want to make sure. I just want to get all the bases. You were off the grid, I don't know. But they had an ongoing feud that flared up last month, and Kendrick Lamar releasing two diss tracks that said, Drake is a full-on pedophile. I believe that that's true. That did get a little bit into me. I don't know the details, but I know that that got real intense real quick.

It did. It did. But I will say Kendrick, the beat was dropping, and I said, okay, this is the only way that we're gonna scream, pedophile is on beat? I don't know, it's crazy. It's crazy. All right. It's funny how men communicate. For me, I was like, just both of y'all pull your dick out.

What's going on? But then they actually were artists and made songs. And so then I was like, okay, I'm listening. Okay. Fiorosa, a Mad Max saga brought in the best Memorial Day box office since 1995. Oh, God, I want that to be true. I want that to be true. I can't. Hmm. It just, I think it's false. I think it's false. Yeah, yeah. It actually brought in the worst Memorial Day box office since 1995 and it's not even as adjusted for

inflation. Yes, sadly, it tanked worse than Casper. It was really bad. That's so sad. I really want- I'm sorry to hear. Why didn't you go? We need to save the movies.

We have to have something to do on the weekends. That sucks. This is a good one. Okay. on the weekends. That sucks. This is a good one. OK. Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are rumored to be getting a divorce with the Argo actor moving into a rental in Brentwood. I think that feels true to me, because I just feel it's true.

It's true. I can't believe it. He also shaved his beard, so he's serious about this. I don't think he's going back to Miss JLo. The photos we get of Ben Affleck, the the fucking pathos. It's unbelievable. It's every time, every time. That's his resting fucking face. The pain behind his eyes. He's a good director, Argo's good.

We gotta do a callback, and this is the straight boyfriends that be coming to the gay events. They be dressed just like that, looking with the same face, and it's like leave him home, leave him in the Uber. Why is he in here? Yeah, that's right, that's right. It's not that your boyfriend's not welcome in Pride, it's this attitude that's not welcome.

It's the whole energy. That's right. Okay, and finally, I love this guy. Steve Buscemi was punched in the face while walking in Manhattan in the latest series of random strangers punching people in New York. Somebody got Buscemi? I'm saying false. No, they got him. They got him!

What the fuck is going on? Well, you know, Steve, he's definitely moved into the face of like, he could be anybody right now. He definitely looks relatable. And so if you don't know who he is, you might like, that's just a rich white guy, hit him. You know? Was that too real? Sydney Washington, everybody.

Thank you so much. She'll be back for the Red Wheel. Thank you so much. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. As you might already know, me and my platonic work husbands from Pod Save America, Tommy Vitor and John Favre wrote a book that comes out on June 25th called Democracy or Else. It's incredibly

helpful while still extremely irreverent. It's a guide to how to stop panicking and get involved as we hurdle towards the 2024 election. Even more howling than Trump vs. Biden 2.0 is the fact that me, Tommy and John had to write a book together. To reward you, weirdos, for coming to see me live, we're going to play a game we're calling Spoiler Alert. And here's how it works.

I'm going to quiz you on the book and also the hell's experience of writing it with me. Could you imagine writing a book with me? Just imagine the combination of perfectionism and lack of discipline that goes into that experience. Imagine pouring over every word, but not when you said you would. But weeks later. Imagine setting a deadline for someone, and then them blowing through that deadline,

and then you getting a series of messages at three in the morning with a ton of criticism. And that's just a fraction of what it would be like to work on a book with me. Kendra's out there, all right. Who wants to go first? Raise your hand if you want to answer a question.

Hi, true or false, Tommy got a start in politics interning for Ted Kennedy in 2002. False. No, it's true and he's been loving it ever since. Next up, in 2002, John Favreau made an early political splash during New Hampshire's center race, during which he appeared on the news wearing what? A tan suit.

No, that's incorrect. He was wearing a trash bag while standing next to a dumpster. Ding! Because he was an intern on behalf of Gene Jahein's campaign responding to Republican trash attacks. Politics. Used to be so simple. Who's next? Hi.

Hi. True or false? Tommy told Obama to wear the tan suit. False. False. That is false. That is false. Who's up next? Which of the following is not a real mascot we collectively brainstormed for this book, Democracy or Else?

Which of the following is not? A. Stop the seal. A, stop the seal. A cleverly named seal. B, democracy Dave, sort of a democracy themed goblin I pitched. C, a nameless eagle. D, Tommy the turtle because democracy is slow but it will win the race. Which of those is not a real pitch?

Oh man. The goblin? No, the goblin was real. Tommy the Turtle was fictional. I fought so hard for Democracy Dave, the Democracy Goblin. In fact, I drew, I used AI to make like dozens of versions. We had an artist draw it. We went through, I mean up until the final fucking moments before this thing was going

to go to print, I was fighting for democracy, Dave. The Liberty Goblin. I still think it's funny. I think we got it wrong. No, no, it was the right decision. This wasn't good. But it's a great sketch. Next question. In Democracy or Else, I describe writing a joke for President Obama to kick off a speech to be delivered following a Broadway performance of Sister Act, the musical. True or false, this is the actual joke I gave to President Barack Obama to deliver. I hope you enjoyed Sister Act. Now here's my brother act.

I know, I know it. I know it. Is it true? It is true. Terrible. The look he gave me when I told him that joke, honestly, I'm like, yes, it was terrible. I understand.

But I went off, I left, and I, I like, he said like, you have to beat this. You have to give me something better than that. It was a look of absolute fucking disdain. I like regret it, it felt awful. I, you know, just, I'm just, it was very, oh, you put me on the spot, need a joke, here's a joke. No, bad, bad, bad, bad.

And so, but the joke I gave him that he ended up using was, I'm so glad you enjoyed Sister Act. I love this musical, and it's been helpful on my research into convents to send Sasha and Malia after high school. So I went from a joke with... You know, it landed in the dad sweet spot of lock up your daughters kind of a thing, you know? So that worked.

I hate recounting that story. It's tough. True or false, one of Tommy's most pivotal career moments was bothering a guy who was just trying to mow his own lawn to vote for Obama. True. That is true. As an Iowa resident in the county, Obama needed to win. And Tommy wasn't going to let that man go on with his day. Meanwhile, what is an actual statement

I said to our producer Kendra in the office during the writing of this book? A, boy, I really did not know how many words were in a book. B, I can't believe they thought I could write this book. Don't they know I'm loco? C, deadlines aren't real. Or D, all of the above. All of the above?

No, I didn't say the loco thing. That's not my voice. It was just that deadlines aren't real. By the way, true. All the whole book, the whole book industry, what's left of it, buy the fucking book if you want books. All, it's been interesting because the whole process is built around writers and writers are maniacs.

And so there are so many deadlines that are like the water filled canisters or the ramp for trucks, you know what I mean? It's just like, you're just blowing through one and blowing through another and blowing through another and they're like, I don't know, one of these jugs is going to stop this fucking thing. I turned in my book on time at every deadline. Okay, good for you, Kendra.

Kendra loves a deadline. You okay good for you Kendra. Yeah. Kendra loves a deadline. True or false? Favreau once hit a bear with his car in Idaho. True. False. It was Tommy in New Hampshire and it was a moose. I did what I John Lovett did what for the first time in the White House Rose Garden? A. My one-man mime version of Hamilton. B. Performed the first legal gay wedding ceremony. C. Performed an abortion. Or D. Fell in love. D. No, I didn't fall in love. I performed a wedding ceremony. I performed a legal gay wedding ceremony. I did. I became a licensed minister in the District of Columbia and then I took my friend, Steven Justin, in the Rose Garden and we did a secret gay marriage in there. Got the gay all over the place. And finally,

Josh Holloway, who co-authored Democracy or Else with me, Tommy and John, is a great comedy writer, described working with me on the project as which of the following? A, a professional low-light, B, harder than being a father and less rewarding, C, absurd, bordering on the surreal, or D, a nightmare? B.

What'd you say? B, harder than being a father. Nope, he described it as D, a nightmare. Thank you all for playing. harder than being a father. Nope, he described it as D, a nightmare. Ah. Ah. Ah. Thank you all for playing. All right. You've heard me talk about it. Our book, Demarcus or Else, How to Save America in 10 Easy

Steps, my favorite chapter in the book is called Give Your yourself a break. And it's not because it's the shortest and has the most pictures. But if you haven't bought the book yet, now is the time we are trying to get on the New York Times bestseller list because we can't let Kristi Noem beat us. She's already killed more dogs than us.

We get the book on the list. It gets in front, it gets to bookstores, it gets in front of people. All the profits from the book go to Vote Save America and organizing on the ground. We're genuinely proud of it. At the beginning, I did not know if we'd be able to finish it. Just the fact that it exists is nothing short of a fucking miracle. So please do us a favor and go to crooked.com slash books to get one right now.

Cause listen, Fauci's sitting up there preening with that number one spot. No mask in the picture. What kind of signal does that send? Lock him up. Stop it. I will be signing book plates for Democracy House in the lobby after the show. Or if you have a book, you can come and I'll sign it. So please have your proof of purchase and get in line.

And if you want a book tonight, I'll of course sign that, as I said. All right, please welcome back to the stage all of our guests. Tressie and Sydney. Thank you for coming back. All right. Here's how it works. We have rant topic given to us by the audience. It's a little scary. We don't have to talk about them, but if we want to, uh, all right, here's the, here's the first one somebody suggested. The army has height and weight requirements, i.e. I have to get on a scale in front of my coworkers. Oh, oh, I know about this.

Yes, this is true. I was going to write about this once. Who are you out there? It's horrible. If you want to be my source, contact me. I've been wanting to write about this. I think it's terrible. The height and weight requirements are very strict

and some doctors say they're not even aligned with what is considered healthy and it disproportionately impacts women in the military, them trying to make weight, right? Okay, so if you wanna be my deep throat on that, holler at me. That didn't go right. You need to understand. I said-

Okay. Cultural reference, people. Girlie. Cultural reference. Google it. No, actually, don't do that. I can't even Google it. Can't even Google it.

So sorry. Can't Google it. I said, happy pride. That is- Thank you. Next suggestion is the Juneteenth celebration at the White House. I'll take this one. No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I said happy pride. That is, thank you. Next suggestion is the Juneteenth celebration at the White House. I'll take this one. No, I'm kidding. No.

No. No. No. No. No. It was alarming, the visuals. First of all, Juneteenth, why did they celebrate it like two weeks before the actual date?

That was weird. Joe Biden was there and it seemed like he didn't know what was going on at all, which is on brand, I'm sorry to say, but he definitely just seemed like, why are we doing this? He couldn't catch a beat. Kirk Franklin was there singing, I mean, legendary songs. It's almost as if he didn't know why he was there

and what was going on. I said, we don't need this. I know you want to celebrate, but it was obvious that our own president didn't get it. And if he's doing that, then there's tons of people watching like, sure, I guess. He was quite still. And I do think he was still. He was it was almost like a rocking, like, you know, the cult rock where you're like, we're there, but not really. Maybe he's with the music, no? No.

It was offbeat. Well, everyone fucking vote for him anyway. That is that doesn't take away. Yeah. That doesn't take away from the voting. But for me as a person, I was like, I don't like that. And just as important of an issue, big gaps in US bathroom doors. It's out of control. I can see everything.

Okay. Somebody is writing these out there for me and whoever you are, I love you. Okay, we are the United States of America. Yeah, we are. Okay, and every time I travel, I come back to this country and I go, what's up with our bathrooms?

Yes, why don't the doors go all the way to the floor? I get that we are declining imperial power, I do. But we do still send people to the moon. And it seems to me that means the bathroom doors could close completely. And why am I still wrapping up toilet seats like gift wrapping? What's that about? I just I do I think we the bathroom situation in the United

States of America is a problem. Maybe maybe they're trying to normalize hey like we all are peeing and pooping it should be an open concept maybe maybe. No, that's horrible. Maybe we should stop with the doors. That's horrible. And just letting it hey, hey. What are we afraid of seeing, exactly? It's a family gathering.

We can all see. We're all doing the same thing in there. What? What have you internalized? What do you mean, what are you afraid of seeing? Everything. Why? Why?

What if they were just toilets in the round, just in a circle? Maybe we wouldn't have all this. We're so lonely. Well, that's what it feels like. It feels like when you're in the bathroom, just in a circle. Maybe we wouldn't have all this. We're so lonely. Well, that's what it feels like. It feels like when you're in the bathroom, you're like, oh, I feel like whoever's next to me definitely pooped on me. So I also, you raised.

I'm so disturbed by this. And that's fine. That's part of it. You raised another point, which I actually think is worth pausing on, which is taking pieces of paper and putting them on the seat. And it's one of those things you do, but if you think about it for even a second,

it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. So the seat is so dirty that you can't touch it with your bare ass, but not so dirty that you take any actual measures to make it clean. Rather, you put a completely fucking porous piece of paper that does literally nothing. I mean, nothing, like nothing. And then put your fucking ass on that paper. Thank you.

And then your warm butt warms the... And you're just on the toilet seat. Anything on that toilet seat is, that paper is fucking permissible. So I'm never using the bathroom again. Like this is the way that you just explained, like why am I doing it? But so doesn't that mean, like if you just think of it,

doesn't that mean we should like, that step that everyone's taking could just stop? Just like face it, face it. There's nothing you could do. Get your ass on the seat. It's okay. Oh no. People are doing that. I just want you to know face it, face it. There's nothing you could do. Get your ass on the seat. It's okay. We're all- People are doing that.

I just want you to know, people are doing that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think that there is an invisible seat option, which is, I don't know, some- The seat condoms, they do have the- A seat, that's right. They have the seat condom. I've seen that.

They have the Saran wrap that you put around. That is exactly right. And then they switch it out. They do have it in some do, they have the seat condoms. They have the Saran wrap that you put around. That is exactly right. And then they switch it out. They do have it in some, in certain bathrooms, but. I'm not saying I know the engineering required. I am saying you either believe in science or you don't. And you either have some pride or you don't.

And we gotta put those together. Oh, this one, guys who pick the middle urinal first. I don't know what that what does that mean? Yeah. So so there's like there's an unspoken custom. I'm glad this has been the topic that we focused on that's why I wanted to stick with it. So if there's a wall of urinals there is a rule right and the rule is when you go in, you take one of the furthest. If a second person comes, they take the other side. And then it gets complicated after that,

and there's a kind of a decision tree depending on the even number, odd number, how many urinals. This is real. And so if there were five urinals, the third person goes in the middle, right? If there's four urinals, the third person goes in the middle. If there's four urinals, you got to go next to somebody. And that's random. You can't really go wrong.

If there's the you basically want to, but the third person wants to go at least one urinal away from another person. So if there's one person at the urinal and there are four urinals or three urinals and a second person comes in and goes right next to you you're dead. That's a murderer that's not how it's done. Wow boy math is really something. Yeah. Oh here's a question I don't know if either one of you want to take it.

Why do only Republicans have boats? Well, I don't know, actually. Well, they are expensive and you're trying to... Is it a tax shelter? I have the same reason they live in Florida. I have no idea. What do you think about back in Parkers, people who back their cars?? Oh no. Oh wait what's... I'm sorry I don't... New Yorker here. I don't drive. Yeah what's a car? New Yorker's car. I know what a car is but what do you do? What do you do? What is it? These are the people who have withdrawn from the social contract of society. Thank you.

And insist on holding up traffic in poorly designed parking lots to back into a space rather than pull in. And I'm gonna tell you what my real issue is with them. They insist that it is a morally superior decision. They insist that it's safer that way. And it's just, I don't care if it's true, actually, if it's safer.

What is important here is that it is holding up the line and the people who back in are never good at backing in. They're never. So. That's true, yeah. Thank you. I do it sometimes. I knew it. I could see it on your face.

But if someone's behind me, never. But if there's no one back there, and I can do it, and there's no one behind me, oh, it's so luxurious. I don't know about either of this, but we can leave on this one. People that post entire concerts that they're at on their social media stories.

Amen, amen to them, amen to them. Cause like for me, I couldn't go to the Renaissance. I didn't, I didn't have, I didn't have the coins, but I felt like I was right there in the front seat and I salute those people. Thank you for spending thousands of dollars to see Beyonce four times in her whole tour. And I got to, I was right up there.

I saw Beyonce's like the color of her eyes so clear. Some people were going in there with 4K cameras and I was just there on my toilet like, yes, sing. Sing Beyonce Giselle Noz, I was there. There is, it is like a strange thing now that like people don't, they like, when something amazing happens, they put something between them and the amazing thing.

And like, there is a value to it for people at home. But if you're at the concert, like, it's, it's, it's- It's a little sad. It's a little sad. I was at a Hozier concert recently. The ladies liked that one. And his audience has gotten really young somehow and so there are a lot of very young girls screaming and crying in

the audience and but they were screaming and crying looking at the phone while he was right there. But they were crying looking at the phone and I thought I think we've missed something here. I'm not sure you've actually been to the show if you spend the whole time recording it. Yeah, like I appreciate the like, oh, like this is happening. I wanna capture for myself from my vantage point what I'm seeing.

It's like, there is something about like, I feel like everyone's photo rolls become a kind of like, archive of their experiences in some way. And if it isn't in there, it's sort of lost. Because if so much is in there, once something's not there, I can see how it would feel like it didn't happen. I think that's fine.

But there's something about like just the whole time that makes me sad. What makes me sad is the people who are in the back, like the worst seats, they're like literally in the parking lot and they're showing us on their pixelated androids the concert. I don't want that. I actually press not interested every single time

and I block and I report them as spam. Cause why would you do that to my eyes? And why would you do that? Why would you do that to Megan Thee Stallion? Like get the proper tickets. Why are you showing us this shaky, like they never have the angles right. And I don't even know who's on stage.

I hear the music. Those, the people who have bad cinematography when they're there at the concert, those people can go. Shame on them. Shame on them. If you're gonna go through all the trouble of filming this whole goddamn thing, learn about the rule of thirds. Exactly. Uh, Tressie, Sydney, thank you both so much.

Thank you. This was so great. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. Thank you. So fun. And we're back. Let's bring the lights up. I went, we're running long, so we're going to do a few high notes.

Kendra is out there. We'll do three or four. Reminder, we want to hear what your high note is. Something gave you hope, but it can't be this thing. It has to just be something about your life. I'll do as many as I can if you keep them tight. Come to Kendra. Come line up behind Kendra over here.

No, I'm lazy. I'm not going to. She's not going this way. You come to me. You got to line up. Come line up. No touching the mic. Hi, what's your name?

What's your high note? Please keep it brief so I can get as many as I can get. My name is Coleman. I just want to say I used to be the only Democrat Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Can you just keep it brief so I can get as many as I can get? My name is Coleman. I just want to say I used to be the only Democrat in my family, the only liberal. We're from deep Mississippi in the South. And in this last election, I'm pretty sure at least five

of my six family members all voted for Joe Biden. And I'm going. Great. This time, I'm going six for six. I love that. That's good. That's hopeful. Thank you.

Hi. What's your name? What's your high note? Hi, I'm Emily. I was actually laid off back in January. And like a month ago, I had pretty much given up hope and I was planning to move back in with my parents. But then out of the blue, I got this job offer and I just started a few weeks ago and it's

going really great. And I got to tell my coworkers about where I was going tonight and it was really exciting. Congratulations. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Hi, I'm Sabrina and I am an educator, a public educator here.

And I have started my summer break. Hey, that's cool. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Hi, I'm Lucy and I am a volunteer with Charlotte for Choice. And we are having our Ink for Injustice on Saturday and the flash sheets got released and my fellow escort helped me pick out my very first ever tattoo that I am going to get this weekend. Would you mind telling us what it's a tattoo of? out my very first ever tattoo that I am going to get this weekend. Would you mind telling us what it's a tattoo of?

It is a bouquet of botanical natural abortifacients. Lovely. And that's going to be? On my arm. Don't tell my mother. On arm, as I said. Face? No?

Okay. Neck? All right. Thank you. Hi, what's your name, what's your high note? Hi, I'm Kristen. I'm just coming out of my 12th year on staff of a summer program where 650 rising high school women in South Carolina come together

to form a mock state government. They run for offices from mayor all the way up to their constitutional offices. And we're seeing people from the most rural areas to the most metropolitan come together, find their voices, and leave in power to change the world. It brings me so much hope every year, and it gives me hope that our world might actually be changing.

Have any of the kids done an insurrection? They were definitely plotting one, yes, yes. Hi, what's your name, what's your high note hi I'm Kaylee I am really excited to be here tonight because I just spent a week in the hospital I had a bulging disc and a pinched nerve I have an 11 month old so spending a week in the hospital was extremely stressful for all kinds of obvious reasons but I have great friends and family who were super supportive and took care of my son my friend who's here

with me tonight, who is a three month old, came to the hospital to bring me clean underwear and stuff to do. So I'm just very grateful to be here. And I know that it was not supposed to be our high note, but I'm grateful to be here because that means I'm feeling much better and able to be here. So yeah. And thank you for sharing that. And if you also want to share a Viking or something, nobody will be mad at you. All right.

Thanks. Thank you. After the show. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Hi, my name is Kristen, and I'm a public school music educator. And yeah, thanks. And on Monday, I had my interview as a semfinalist for teacher of the year from our county.

So if I keep going, then I could have a really nice platform to help advocate for public education. That's cool. Teacher of the year. How am I supposed to follow that? Hi, my name is Michael. Thank you. Thanks. Potential teacher of the year. I don't know how I'm supposed to follow that. Hi, my name is Michael.

My high note is that I'm here with my mom who will be 70 in two weeks. And she has devoted her life to working for nonprofits from Thompson here in Charlotte to Habitat for Humanity. And I moved here four years ago and I've got this whole new perspective on who my mother is as a complete person. So my high note is my growing relationship with my mom over the last couple of years. And happy 70th birthday, mom.

We're a wave. Oh, that's great. That's a beautiful place to leave at. Thank you to everybody who shared a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something they gave you, send us a voice memo to lowlyhighnotes at gmail.com. Or if you're a friend of the Pond subscriber,

you can send us your high notes on Discord. That is our show. Thank you so much to Tressey MacVillan Cottom, Dante Pittman, and Sydney Washington. There are 136 days until 2024 elections. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Thank you, Charlotte. Thank you guys for coming.

That was so fun. Thank you guys for coming. That was so fun. Thank you. I'll be out there signing books if you guys want to come say hi. Lovett or Leave It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.

Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglen and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.

Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shure Shure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote

for filming and editing video each week so you can. Love it or leave it. It's love it or leave it.