Lovett or Leave It - Make Phones, Not War

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

This week, Mike Lee can't look Amy Klobuchar in the eyes, Tucker Carlson plays cat and mouse with Ted Cruz, Theo Von gets a political wake up call, and tensions rise in the Middle East despite the U.S., Israel, and Iran having such fantastic leaders. Plus comedy legend Larry Charles of Seinfeld, Borat, and Curb joins to tell million dollar stories and 10 dollar jokes. And Chinedu Unaka and Adam Lustick fall in love with ChatGPT, the NBA finals and Trump’s gigantic flag poles.Upcoming shows: crooked.com/eventsFor a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

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you and me, they're fighting every day to build a future we deserve. One where everyone can get the care they need no matter who they are or where they live. Supporters like you power this work. Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at plannedparenthood.org. That's plannedparenthood.org slash protect. What's up Los Angeles, welcome to Love It or Leave It live at Dynasty Typewriter. Thank you all for being here. We have got a great show for you. Larry Charles is here.

It's got million dollar stories. We've got some $10 jokes. Then Chinadu Anaka and Adam Lustak joined to test out their news knowledge. And then we wrap it all up with our latest and greatest rants. But first let's get into it. What a week.

As a terrifying rampage was unfolding in Minnesota and greatest rants. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! As a terrifying rampage was unfolding in Minnesota and before the suspect had been caught, Republican Senator and shitposter Mike Lee from Utah ran to X to blame the left for the violence, wrote Lee in one tweet with a photo of the suspect, this is what happens when Marxists don't get their way.

Ooh. So, so close. New York City Mayor Andrew Cuomo is what happens when Marxists don't get their way. In reality, the suspect is a religious conservative who attended Trump rallies and whose other targets appear to include dozens of prominent Democrats and abortion rights advocates. And since he remains in custody, I'll add this, not much of a dresser. I got him. An hour after that first tweet by a sitting U.S. Senator, Lee returned to seemingly blame or mock Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, writing over an image of the assassin,

Nightmare on Walt Street. Not the biggest problem with this post, but it's nightmare on Elm Street. The term is Wall Street. He could have said Wolf of Wall Street, right? Wolf of Wall Street. That would have been, I mean, it was sort of incomprehensible and vile at the same time. Like the intent, not clear, but obviously disgusting. But too many steps, just terrible structure. But some people can post, some people can. I'm sure Mike Lee has many other talents like ruining the vibe when his wife's

friends are over. The post prompted outrage and calls for Lee's resignation, and on Monday, Minnesota Senator Tina Smith confronted Lee directly. I wanted him to know about the consequence of his words. And I went to him and I said, you know, your message on social media showed the image of the man who killed my friend, potentially minutes before that happened. And your message was, this is what happens. You need to take responsibility and accountability for what you were saying and doing out there in the social media world.

Fuck them up, Tina. And Tina had support. She was playing good cop, Klobuchar cop. Because then Mike Lee had to face the final boss, which is looking Senator Amy Klobuchar in the eyes. After that second conversation, Lee deleted the post. Mike Lee was later spotted at a local church basement in DC attending a weekly meeting of SODAC,

survivors of disappointing Amy Klobuchar. People come, they tell their stories, they feel connected to a community. I didn't have a fork. I didn't have a fork. It's okay. Days before nuclear talks were set to resume in Oman, Israel launched an attack against Iran's nuclear facilities and leadership, setting off an escalating conflict in the

region. Now we must hope for cooler heads to prevail over, it says here, Donald Trump, Benjamin Nanyahu and Ayatollah Khomeini. So not great. On Tuesday, Trump declared on True Social that we now have complete and total control over the skies of Iran and called for Iran's unconditional surrender. No. That sucks.

Stop it. We also learned that Trump was preparing for strikes against Iran, which the Pentagon described as defensive and which may also be a threat to pressure Iran to make concessions. So hopefully it's the kind of preparation that ultimately proves unnecessary, like bringing an umbrella on a hike or writing a segment for the drag queen you've booked. A very specific joke. Kills amongst the producers, I'd love it or leave it.

The possibility that Trump might drag the US into Israel's war with Iran has opened up a massive rift among conservatives. In fact, here's Tucker Carlson opening up a massive rift in Ted Cruz. How many people live in Iran, by the way? I don't know the population. At all? No, I don't know the population. You don't know the population of the country you seek to topple? How many people live in Iran? 92 million. Okay.

Yeah, I... How could you not know that? I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure.

Ted Cruz, so ignorant, not like us. Everybody in this room knows the population of Iran. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I can't prove we didn't. It's like that again. We all knew it.

Fucking idiot. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. I mean, I'm not sure. It's like that again. We all knew it. Fucking idiot. It's like that moment when Godzilla stops killing an entire metropolis full of people to turn his sights on killing another bigger, dumber beast. And it's like, go Godzilla, I guess. But it's nice to see Tucker Carlson take a break from sticking a feather in his cap and calling it macaroni.

That really means, I don't know what a Yankee Doodle Dandy is, but I'm pretty sure Tucker Carl's in a Yankee Doodle Dandy. The pair also sparred over Cruz's relationship with AIPAC, the pro-Israel lobbying group. AIPAC, I wish were much more effective. Like, their folks online were the fever swamp of terrified of APEC, and APEC- I'm not terrified of APEC at all. You're the one who seems a little uncomfortable when I'm asking this.

No, not uncomfortable at all. I'm just asking. Just kiss already. That exchange about APEC led to this heated moment. You're not talking about Chinese, you're not talking about Japanese, you're not talking about the British, you're not talking about the French You're not talking about Japanese. You're not talking about the British. You're not talking about the French.

The question, what about the Jews? What about the Jews? Oh, I'm an anti-Semite now. It's interesting you're trying to derail my questions by calling me an anti-Semite, which you are. I did not. Of course you are. And rather than be honorable enough to say it right to my face, you are in a sleazy

feline way implying it. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He wants to call him a bitch. It has the same energy of the moment when Hercule Perot says, aha, poison, a woman's weapon. Know what I'm saying?

Tucker Carlson isn't the only Trump supporter feeling betrayed. Podcaster Dave Smith had this to say about Trump's approach to Iran. I supported him this last year. I apologize for doing so. It was a bad calculation. At the time it seemed like the right one. Donald Trump should be impeached and removed for this. All of his supporters should turn on him. It's the absolute betrayal of everything that he ran and campaigned on and everything that he stood for. Sure.

But the most important thing that Donald Trump stands for is that he doesn't stand for anything. The 2024 election was like that riddle about the two doors. In front of one door was someone who always lies. And then in the other door, it was blocked by an incomprehensible old man yelling about NATO. Theo von who hosted Trump on his podcast last year and attended his inauguration also

spoke out against war with Iran. I don't trust the Israel leader at all. I don't believe anything that guy says. And I... I don't think that... our soldiers should have to go and defend stuff that they start. Sadly, the clip ends there because

Theo von's pager exploded. This guy, he went to dinner with Ivanka and Jared Hopefully the clip ends there because Theo von's pager exploded. This guy, he went to dinner with Ivanka and Jared a month ago. I love the idea of Theo von calling Ivanka with his concerns. And she's like, oh, sorry, Theo, how do I put this? Jared and I aren't human in the way you're thinking about it. On Wednesday, Trump said this when asked whether the U.S. was moving closer to a strike against Iran.

You don't know. I may do it. I may not do it. I mean, nobody knows what I'm going to do. It's helpful at a moment like this to accept the block theory of the universe in which the present is an illusion and the future is just as determined as the past. Will we go to war with Iran? If we will, we already have. And if we don't, we never would. You know about the block theory? No? Okay.

Because that is, time is just a dimension. We just had the illusion that we're moving through it, but really it's all fully determined. The time is just a dimension. We just have the illusion that we're moving through it. But really, it's all fully determined that time is just another dimension, just one we can't perceive. And in a sense, what's interesting, it's not that what we're doing right now is standing still. It's that we're moving through time at the speed of light.

And in a sense, all of us are always moving at the speed of light. It's interesting to think about. Not funny though. Make a note of that. I have to say, Trump's saying this, it's one of the few times where he's not bullshitting. Nobody ever knows what he's going to do. Remember when Trump reached into his pocket, pulled out a handful of Starbursts, and then

threw them at German Chancellor Angela Merkel? Like there's unpredictable and then there's whatever the fuck that was. Speaking of not knowing what Trump is going to do hour to hour, last week the Trump administration abruptly directed ICE to pause immigration raids at farms, hotels, and restaurants. Our farmers are being hurt badly by, you know, they have very good workers. They've worked for them for 20 years. They're not citizens, but they've turned out to be, you know, great. And we're going to have to do something about that.

We can't take farmers and take all their people and send them back because they don't have maybe what they're supposed to have. We got to find the person who's doing this. But of course, Trump immediately reversed himself once Stephen Miller and fucking Christine Ohm got to him with ICE officials telling staff on Monday that agents must continue conducting raids at farms, hotels, and restaurants. This is what I would call the dating in your early 20s strategy of governing. Talk through it logically with people you trust, have the breakthrough revelation, and

then make the exact wrong decision three days later. The president reportedly did have this about face. What happened was he had been contacted directly by agriculture secretary Brooke Rawlins, who bypassed Miller and Noam to kind of relay what she was hearing from these kind of big agricultural companies, I suppose. bypass Miller and Noem to kind of relay what she was hearing from these kind of big agricultural companies, I suppose. And then, of course, Trump just says the last thing he fucking heard. And then Stephen Miller, I guess, gets back on the fucking yoke.

And now we're back to where we were. Speaking of, on Monday, Stephen Miller busted out multiple over the top tweets about sanctuary cities, including this one. Sanctuary cities are engaged in a criminal conspiracy to obstruct, defy, and dismantle the federal laws of the United States in order to end the sovereignty of the United States. This is the crisis at hand, and I, for one, would just like to say.

Jonathan? Jonathan Lovett? Yeah, yes? You left your spoon in the sink again. Okay, guys, I just need to tell y' all something. I did turn my guesthouse into an Airbnb and it was rented by Stephen Miller and I didn't want you to know. I tried to cancel. I really hope that nobody would find out. Well these people have found out Jonathan. Your secret's out. All right. I posted a tweet about your spoon calumny and I just wanted to make sure that you

saw it. That all that you saw it, that all of you saw it. Well, you know what? I actually haven't, because I'm kind of in the middle of something. We're all in the middle of something, Jonathan. I'm in the middle of transitioning fully into Nosferatu. Oh, I see it.

I just want you to, whatever, however you identify, okay, thank you. Thank you for this. Take that disgusting implement. Lucky for you, I printed out the tweet, and I brought it with me. Okay. Thanks. Okay.

This is my tweet, me, Stephen Miller. The unchecked decay in that sink is not merely an oversight. It represents moral collapse. A civilization cannot endure when basic duties are flouted with impunity by remorseless contributors to filth, decadence, and disorder. Jonathan. Is that it?

Yeah, that's it. All right, thanks, Stephen. I guess there's nothing to do about the fact that you're here, so I'll just kind of put up with it. OK. And I should also mention that your towels have quite a mustiness. All right, get out of here.

Not nearly musty enough for my liking. Fucking Stephen Miller. Boo! Hope that doesn't happen two more times. Boo! Hope that doesn't happen two more times. On Tuesday, during an Armed Services Committee hearing, Secretary of not understanding that the movie Starship Troopers is a parody, Pete Hegseth, went toe to toe with Elizabeth Warren

over deploying troops in US cities. If the Supreme Court orders you to remove troops from American cities, will you do so? troops in US cities. As I've said, Senator, I don't believe district courts should determine national security policy but if the Supreme Court rules on a topic, we will abide by that. Obeying the rule of law. I'll drink to that. Hegs have continued to be grilled by Congress this week over his leaked war chat and the

ongoing reports of mismanagement and chaos within the Pentagon. Here's Senator Tammy Duckworth raking him over the coals. You are blowing through money like my fellow cadets and I did in our first Liberty after basic camp. Luckily, I didn't end up with a questionable tattoo. Only an awesome tattoo, continued Duckworth. Check this out, she said before pulling up her sleeve to reveal two Tasmanian devils kissing. That's fucking awesome.

And this wasn't even the best Duckworth moment. She pressed Hegseth on using the military not just for defense purposes, but for supporting the Homeland Security Department's immigration crackdown. And if you want to be the DHS secretary, maybe you can apply for that job when you're fired from this one,

but due to your incompetence. Over my dog's dead body, said DHS Secretary Kristi Noem. Hawaii Senator Mazie Hirono had this helpful observation. If ordered by the president, I'm going to ask you once again, to shoot peaceful protesters in the lakes, would you carry out such an order from the president? in the legs, would you carry out such an order from the president? Senator, as I've said before, of course I reject the premise of your question. And the characterization that I would be given or are given on lawful orders, it's all meant to attempt to smear the commander in chief and I won't fall for it.

Considering that the president in his first term actually ordered such a thing, it is not a premise that you can reject. Oh, you've caught me in a contradiction. I'm Pete Hegseth. We're on the brink of war with Iran. There are US service members on the streets of an American city. I'm a weekend cable news anchor

whose previous management is running not one, but two non-profits into the ground between marital affairs and displays of public drunkenness. It is inconceivable that I am in this job, and yet here I am, and where is the fucking waiter? Oh. Jonathan? Jonathan?

Oh no. Oh no. Boo! Is that a cheer? Boo! Sounds like a cheer to me. You boo him. This is Stephen Miller.

Thank you, I love it. I love it. I eat it up with a spoon. Jonathan, I've returned. Friends of Jonathan, it's me, Stephen Miller. I've returned friends of Jonathan. It's me Stephen Miller I've returned. Oh god. I can't believe this is happening a second time that stinks It might even happen a third time Third time all right it could potentially happen a third time Jonathan

I want to make you aware of something what night is indeed trash night Oh shit said trash has not been taken out. I will do it when I get home. I've heard it before, Jonathan, and it is far too late for those excuses. I've printed out yet another tweet. Ah, fuck. The breakdown of observance around civil rituals such as trash night

reflect the larger erosion of the American way of life. We are drowning in the garbage of left-wing disunity, the abeyance of basic precepts of fairness, and our blood poisoned by the microplastics of Marxism. The trash must be taken out. And by trash, I mean both non-white immigrants and also my protein bar wrappers and so on, et cetera, or else all is lost. Steven. Yes. You gotta get outta here, man. I thought your rental ended yesterday.

Technically it did, but I extended it for another day. I wanted to take the TMZ tour. I saw Machine Gun Kelly. He looks fantastic. God, I fucking hate that guy. Guys, boob Stephen Miller again. Boo! Sucks.

Sucks seeing that guy. Hate having him in my Airbnb. Bummer. On Monday, Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. announced the launch of a Trump-branded phone and cell service company. When I first heard Trump Mobile, I immediately thought, I mean, I guess he is mostly. Not sure about the ad slogan they landed on, can you fear me now? I'm sorry. TrumpMobile.com posted images of the all-gold T1 complete with an American flag. The phone comes with preloaded useful tech shortcuts,

like meet me at the Capitol and I have a governor in my trunk. Speaking of bad ideas, in a 6-3 decision on Wednesday, the Supreme Court upheld Tennessee's ban on gender-affirming care for trans minors, which is fucking bullshit. You're already grinding in this dangerous job, coming home day after day covered in soot and now the government is going to say you can't even do it with a great set of fucking tits? We support trans minors. Trans minors keep our fucking lights on. Hard job. Let's see why we're standing the way. I'm getting a nice pair of yaiyas. Make them happy. Grinding out for coal all the time sucks.

Going down there, not feeling like themselves? Bullshit. The ruling ensured emboldened Republican state lawmakers to pass similar laws to prevent doctors and parents, along with teens, from making decisions about their own care. Not that they needed emboldening. Since 2021, 27 states have enacted laws that restrict gender-affirming treatments for trans youth. Great work.

Trans teens will keep existing. You're just going to make our pride parades a little bigger and the staff of your Panera breads a little less cool. We'll take them. Utah, which passed a ban in 2023, just got back the results from a study commissioned under the same law, which was meant to show that such care was harmful. Instead, Utah's own study concluded that gender-affirming care for trans youth led to positive mental health outcomes. Now,

in response, it's interesting, Utah legislators nodded solemnly and said they learned a valuable lesson. No more studies. Huge blow. Huge mistake. But of course, conservatives are ignoring the study. It's like RFK Jr. ignoring vaccine science. They don't want to see the truth. When you've got a warehouse full of ivermectin, every problem looks like a horse with a parasite. Meanwhile, Republicans last week made a last-minute change to Trump's big, beautiful bill before passing it in the House. In the original big, beautiful bill in the House, there was a ban on gender-affirming care for youth on Medicaid, but they just struck four minors so that it became a ban on Medicaid covering any transition care, period.

That would affect hundreds of thousands of Americans. There's not that many trans fucking people. There's like 275,000 or so on Medicaid. A lot of the states already have bans or don't provide coverage for gender-affirming care through Medicaid. So this is really a punitive way to target a small subset of trans people on Medicaid who live in mostly blue states. So that's what they're getting up to.

But that's how this always goes. You say it's aimed at children, but the reality is it's about adults. That's how we wind up with the vilest shit imaginable, like bans on trans healthcare or whatever the fuck is happening with la boo boos. Jonathan? No shit.

Jonathan! Yeah, okay. Fuck, get him. Let me hear it, please let me hear it. I love it, no I love it. That's his fucking kink. I like it, I actually enjoy it, I feast off it. That's his kink.

I'm gonna wish you. Ouch. For some reason that hurt. Now Jonathan, the guest house toilet is clogged. Full like bad. How did you already drive to my house and back, let alone take a shit? You were here four minutes ago.

Time is a liberal fiction, Jonathan. All right. Anyway, here's the tweet that I wrote while I was on the toilet. Great. We all remember an America where toilets did not clog, but that America is gone, replaced by a crime ring of foreign born plumbers who seek to humiliate us and marry our fertile wives.

Interesting. This nation is threatened by a toilet catastrophe. And if we do not flush a radical socialist enemies, down the pot. You know what? That's enough, you little freak. I wrote a tweet. You did? I wrote a tweet addressing this exact situation

before the show. Great, but did you print it out, Jonathan? I did print it out. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. All right, here we go. Let's hear it.

First of all, you clogged that toilet. And I have a great plumber because I have to. Second, you are the perfect person to represent the Trump administration. Like you, your little movement was on the outside. Look at you getting angrier and angrier, crueller, fantasizing about the day you'll be in charge, and now you're there, and still no one respects you.

And it also sounds like your wife left you for Elon Musk. Well, I can't comment on that, but yes, she did. And why do you think I'm in your guest house? Words have meaning. Some? You can describe Los Angeles as a war zone, or immigrants as an invasion, or standing up for our neighbors as a rebellion,

but it doesn't make it true. And nobody buys what you're saying, because you don't know people. You hate us. I do? You grew up here, but you don't know this city at all. You're still the same lonely loser from Santa Monica High School. And the only reason someone is broken You hate us. I do. You grew up here, but you don't know this city at all. Right. You're still the same lonely loser from Santa Monica High School.

And the only reason someone as broken as you could get anywhere near a position of power is because no one of any quality would get near Donald Trump. Mmm, Jonathan, you cut me to the quick. I am going to write an Airbnb review that absolutely destroys you, Jonathan. Hit me, freak. I'll hit you, freak. Here me, freak. I'll hit you, freak. Here's my review. Zero stars, the toilet was clogged,

and the wallpaper was gay. C plus Santa Monica fascist, Stephen Miller, everybody. That felt good. Boo, yay. The wallpaper is pretty gay. It's got pomegranates on it. That's some gay ass wallpaper. With early voting underway in New York City's mayoral primary,

a new Marist poll released Wednesday found that Andrew Cuomo still held a significant lead but that progressive assemblyman Zoran Mamdani was gaining momentum. The fact that Cuomo's still in the lead should prove once and for all that Cuomo's sexuality is not a choice. These people are born this way.

Last week, Mamdani and Brad Lander, who's the controller, cross-endorsed each other. In New York City, we have rank choice voting. That means you can rank up to five candidates for mayor. Brad and I are officially telling our supporters. Rank me number one. Rank Zoran number two. Let's send Andrew Cuomo. Back to the suburbs.

Just kiss already. On Thursday, Karen Reed was found not guilty of murdering her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O'Keefe. Yeah, correct. The case became a TikTok sensation with many convinced that Karen Reed had been framed. So basically, it seems like the cops tried to frame her, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't responsible for the death. But because they tried to frame her for a crime she may have committed, the framing was enough

to create the reasonable doubt so that she could go free. But that's not as fun for people because it's unsatisfying. It makes it harder to say that she should be on the next season of The Traders. And that's what our society has become. And finally, an Italian museum released security footage seeking the identity of a tourist who pretended to sit on a crystal encrusted replica of a historic chair only to fall and crush it beneath him. Oh!

Now here's the question for all of you. How many of you? Be honest. Be honest. You can lie to me, it's worthless. Don't lie to yourselves. You telling anybody? Are you walking the fuck out of that museum?

You going to go find a docent? Many were furious at the tourists for making such an obvious blunder, trusting Italian manufacturing. Even more troubling, Italian officials are also seeking the identity of this dog who seems to be holding up the entire weight of the Tower of Pisa. Yeah, let's leave it on a visual joke for our fucking podcast. For the people at home, there's an adorable dog holding up the tower of fucking pizza. Holding up the tower of pizza.

Coming up, Larry Charles, comedy legend, is here for a segment about nothing. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It brought to you by Haya. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, and other gummy additives growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya created a super power chewable vitamin.

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Larry Charles, what an honor. Thank you for being here. That's great. It's just the water. You know what, my hands clammy from being Jewish. Okay. So it's fine. Goodness. Nice to meet you You know what? My hands clammy from being Jewish. Okay. So it's fine. Goodness.

Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. Good to see you. Thank you. Hi. Congrats on the book. Thank you very much. It's about your journey through basically like so many of not just great historic, iconic shows and movies,

but ones that were transformative. And I just find that like interesting that I, cause I remember when I saw Borat in the theater and it's strange and there's never been anything like it. And then all of a sudden you get to a naked fight in the hotel and I felt like, I don't even understand how this exists. Like I don't understand how I'm living in a world

where I'm watching something that looks so real and strange. And I'm just, when you're shooting that scene, what is the experience you're having? The same as yours, actually. I mean, comedy, what I love about a scene like that is that it's just like you say, the audience couldn't possibly anticipate a scene like that.

The audience doesn't know. You guys didn't know that you needed that scene until you saw that scene, you know? And I love that kind of surprise. The element of surprise is so rare in comedy these days. So much is predictable and derivative. And this kind of emerged kind of just out of the ether. And we didn't know it was funny either.

And the guy who was with Sasha, Ken, who played Azamat, he kept saying, what's funny about this? What's funny about this? And we would just say, trust us, trust us. You know, so, and that's what we say to the audience too, trust us, you know. So, there are some comedy directors who want the set to feel funny, the making of it to feel funny,

everybody having a great time. But then there are comedy directors, some of the greats that are set, that say basically, if everybody's laughing everybody having a great time. But then there are comedy directors, some of the greats, that say, basically, if everybody's laughing and having a good time on set, you're getting garbage on the screen. What school are you in? Well, actually, because I've done so many different things. Something like Curb, you want a loose, fun set, and people having a good time. So that is kind of a much more of a party atmosphere.

But when you're doing Borat, and you know the police are hovering and there are angry people around, you have to be super, super serious. So, no one is allowed to laugh just in order to get the scene. So, there's a very different kind of need to a Borat scene than, say, a curb scene. And then the environments have to be completely different as well. Yeah. Well, one's in a ballroom at a hotel with a bunch of horrified onlookers. Real angry people, yes. They were.

They were real angry people. Oh, yes, yes, yes. But at some point, you're not, at some point, they've rolled through the hotel ballroom and they're out into the next part when you're not, I don't know if you're running and catching that. I don't know exactly how you're producing this, but at some point you're now just standing there with a bunch of cameras in a ballroom. It's a bunch of freaked out people.

You go like, well, thanks everybody. That's a wrap and we'll head out. No, actually we're running. We're running too. We're taking our cameras and we are running and we have one of the things that we do before we do the scene is we, it's almost like we case the joint rather than like scout a location, you know? So we know where the exits are and we know where the vans are going to be parked and

we know at a certain point there's a good chance that we're going to have to run and we're running for that exit and that exit and that exit and there's a van waiting for us and so we have to have all that stuff ready. We're not hanging around afterwards. We don't want people to question us unless the police catch us, which happened a few times also. We had about 150 police incidents on Borat. Wow. Yeah. Of all kinds, from regular police, local police, to the Secret Service in Washington,

we had everybody stopping us, questioning us, but there was only two arrests the entire time. So, you're brave. Not bad. Not bad. Yeah, that was a two out of 150. It's pretty good. They're both in jail still, but I mean, that's a separate... So you're brave. There's bravery in you. Or stupid. I don't know. I'm not sure. I think I guess I'm not afraid. Is that the same thing as bravery? I don't think so. Yeah. I agree't know. I'm not sure. I think I guess I'm not afraid. Is that the same thing as bravery? I don't think so. Yeah, I agree with you. I'm not running into situations recklessly. I am just, from being from Brooklyn and being in a lot

of confrontations in my life, I'm just not afraid. I know psychologically most people don't want violent confrontation, even if they threaten it. So, for some reason, in those situations, those violent situations, I get calm. I don't know why that is. That's just my sociopathic personality, perhaps. But I don't get afraid of those situations. And I've been, you know, I did this show where I was in Somalia and places like that. And I just, I kind of get calm when things get really tense. I did this show where I was in Somalia and places like that. I kind of get calm when things get really tense.

I can't explain it. When do you get really anxious? Right now, before the show. You get anxious? Yeah, yeah. This freaks me out way more than Somalia. Oh, that's very silly. The stakes here are so low.

I don't know why. Again, I can't explain my psychology exactly. So I saw you talking about Seinfeld and about one of your favorite moments, which is when Philip Baker Hall, is that his name? Yes. Was doing this, the book guy, Mr. Bookman, or Detective Bookman or something? Lieutenant, he was a lieutenant, John. Oh, sorry. I don't want to take his rank down.

But you said that you liked it because it was not the kind of thing that you would see in a sitcom. And you know, there's so many, there's so many shows, especially now, that are just like everything else. But then there are also a lot of crap of people whose goal is to make something that's not like everything, which is not enough of a reason to make something. Hiller I agree with you. Aaron Housel I'm curious how you think about that, where you're bored by what is or what has been

happening. You want to try to find something interesting to do that hasn't been done. The reason people do things that have worked in the past is because it's hard to have taste when you can't imagine what it could be. I'm just wondering how you think about taste and figuring out how to make something different that's still good. Kline-Morris Taste is a dangerous thing, I believe. You have to be willing to risk bad taste. Look at John Waters, who's one of my heroes. You have to be willing to step over that line.

And you have to be willing to fail. Failure is a big part of the equation. And in Seinfeld, we assumed we were going to fail. And therefore, we had nothing to lose. And we wanted to just do a funny show. We thought it would get canceled after a few episodes. And we would go on our merry way, continuing to be failures. And in a way, that was our liberation.

And so, we created something. We worked on something and created something that was just funny for us. And it happened that we got lucky enough that the show stayed on the air long enough for the audience to discover it. Things like that usually don't happen. There's a lot of kind of accidents, happy accidents that led to Seinfeld becoming Seinfeld. It wasn't Seinfeld at one time. It was a show that was barely hanging on. A show that was losing to a show called Jake and the Fat Man. That was the show that was kicking our ass in the ratings at that time. Sciple I don't think there's any reason to cast aspersions about a quality piece of

90s programming, Jake and the Fat Man. Hill You're right. I love it myself. I watch it on reruns. Sciple Because there's Jake Jake and he has his perspective. Yeah. But it's totally different from where Fat Man's coming from. The Fat Man, he's a cop with integrity. He just has a weight problem, that's all. Yeah.

If only that character was ever even given a name. Yeah. He didn't like that either. That bothered him too. Well, you know, I I sure I should there was a B Arthur you know everyone there's all this been like you know B Arthur was was mean on the set of Golden Girls and didn't get along with the other women on the shed as I was like of course she didn't every other character was made

fun of their characters traits right Betty White is stupid you know Blanche Devereaux is a slut. Bea Arthur's character was ugly. Right. And they're like, you're an ugly bitch. Yeah. And she's like, stop doing that. Yeah, yeah.

I still leave like this. Yes. That sucks. Yeah. She's like that all the time, and she can't help it. Yeah, it was a weird thing to make central to her character. It's hard to go to work like that. It must wear on you.

It could have been three golden girls and an ugly bitch or something, and then the show would have been very different. Yeah. It wouldn't have been three Golden Girls and an ugly bitch or something, and then the show would have been very different. Yeah, it wouldn't have been kind. Has streaming been good? Your segues are great, by the way. Oh, thanks. Yeah, you're welcome.

Has streaming been good? I can't tell. In a way, everything is about economics, and that depresses me, in a way. There's no real originality. There's a need for all this programming to come out constantly feeding the machine. I think that the good things get lost in the shuffle, and the bad things dominate. It's really hard for an audience to delineate things because they're being inundated with stuff all the time. In a way, streaming is a way for these corporations,

these media corporations, to come up with new ways to make money. I don't have a great affection for it. These algorithms, I'm very skeptical of the whole process. Sciple- But the other side of it is, they're making a ton of stuff, and some of it is excellent. They are getting behind really interesting stuff. Hill- It's hard to find that stuff, though. Sciple- But that's the audience's fault, too. Hill- That's true. Maybe so. Sciple- I don't know if that's true, though. Sorry to interrupt you. Sciple- No, hit me. Hill- Yeah. I don't know if that's true, though. Sorry to interrupt you. No, hit me. Yeah. I don't know if that's true, actually, because the brainwashing, the sophisticated

brainwashing that goes on to manipulate you into watching something has reached a certain level now where the audience almost can't make that choice. They think they're making a free choice, but they're actually being manipulated into thinking it's a free choice, and it's a choice that the corporations want them to make. Wow. Do you believe in free will? Thank you. Wow, that was, that was lackluster.

Because they want to go back and watch their shows. Yeah. They're like, that's not why I watched Love Island. I watched Love Island because I'm a fully complete, formed person. I have independent thoughts. I'm going to go home and watch Love Island. Do you believe in free will? No, I don't. I don't believe in free will. I think everything is sort of... We have certain choices, but I believe everything is like, as far back as you want to take it, you're being manipulated. Your mind is being conditioned constantly.

The idea is, you're supposed to think you have a free choice or free will. But, really, if you start to analyze all the strains and strands that have led to that choice, you realize it's a manipulation of some kind. Fischer-Katzmanen, Jr., Ph.D., Ph.D. Oh, but that's why you've got to not do that. That's a revelation to me. Fischer-Katzmanen, Jr., Ph That's a revelation to me. That was your mistake right there. Wait, hold on. Let me ask you this. Yes, yes. Okay. You're deciding in the morning whether to take the train or the bus. Right. You choose the train. Unbeknownst to you, the bus, it was broken down. It was

never going to go. You were going to get to the bus station, turn around, go take the train anyway. But you chose the train. You never heard about the bus. Did you choose the train? No, I don't think so. I think it's random. I think there's a lot of luck involved in our choices. And there are people that took the bus that day and had the broken down bus. So, that day, you made a good choice. But the next day, you may not. There's no logic. There's no sort of consistency to that free will idea. You know, for the next day may be totally different. In fact, the next moment may be totally different. Wow.

You've lost control. I don't mind that. Well, right. That may be OK. I mean, we have to live with that. We're here. We are here. Yeah. So we have to make a decision about whether we're going to accept that or not. Because if you fight against it, it's not going to really, you can't win that fight. Is this getting too bleak? No, no, I don't, I don't mind it.

It's just giving me a lot to think about. Me too. So you've worked with these different, you've worked with Sasha Baron Cohen, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, these extraordinary talented Jewish guys. Yeah. Why are we so funny, you think? It's a great question. I think I came from a part of Brooklyn

that was like the Kingston, Jamaica of comedy. This part of Brooklyn for some reason generated a lot of great comedy talent from Mel Brooks and Lenny Bruce and Woody Allen and Larry David and, you know, so many people came from that neighborhood. I have some... My latest theory on this is that there's a Talmudic tradition of Jews arguing with each other and trying to top each other about the Bible or the Torah or whatever it is. And in a way that generated absurdities and laughter.

When questions would be asked, there might be funny answers to those questions. And I kind of feel, and this is just a theory, that that might be the foundation for American Jewish comedy. Interesting. I like to think about that. Whenever I go to like a deli in Los Angeles, like if I'll go to, you know, Nate and Al's, or go to Cantor's, or one of the great delis, and I'll be there with like a Jewish friend of mine, and we'll be just talking, just, you know, Jews talk, we talk, we talk, we

talk, we talk. And I'll have this moment where I'll look over to another booth and I'll see two old men sitting in a booth doing the same thing. I think, God damn it, I'm going to be doing this for 50 years. And then somebody's going to see me in this booth. That's something nice about that. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about, this Talmudic tradition. There's a constant sort of back and forth. There's a contrarianism, there's a questioning, a constant questioning that goes on. Unfortunately, I think it's not as prevalent as it used to be, and that's why you see very

bad decisions being made, like in Israel and places like that. But it's like, at one time, that was a very crucial element of Jewish life, was the questioning of things. And maybe that's not so prevalent anymore. Now, were you almost arrested in Jerusalem or attacked in Jerusalem? I was attacked. And you were speaking of Israel? Yeah. What happened? We were doing Bruno, and we had a very short bit that we wanted to film. I wanted to go to the

most orthodox neighborhood to film it. Sasha was supposed to wear a kind of a Hasidic hot pants and he had a jaunty Hasidic hat and he was supposed to just walk from one corner to another and the van was going to drop him off at that one corner and then pick him up at the next corner and we thought this was no big deal it'll be funny you'll get some funny reactions and as soon as he got out of the van in the hot pants, people came running from every direction with rocks and started throwing, I'm a lefty, started throwing the rocks, and he was being stoned, and he screamed out, I'm a Jew, and that made it worse. People were throwing bigger rocks, you know?

And everybody, we all scrambled in different directions and all I ever cared about was getting the scene. And I wanted to make sure it was being filmed and I wanted to make sure our cameraman was getting it. And so he and I kind of stayed behind while everybody else scattered. And eventually I was surrounded by a bunch of extremely angry Haseeds holding rocks ready to stone me this close to me. And again, being from Brooklyn and used to the confrontation and not being freaked out about it, I had a monitor about the size of this thing and I held it up to them and I said,

I will crack your fucking skull. You know, if you throw that, you might kill me but I'm gonna kill you, you know, if you if you throw that fuck you might kill me but I'm going to kill you, you know, basically. And they all backed off. And the van came and I jumped in the van and I got away. And we got to see the scene is in the movie. Thank you. Speaking of being alive. Yeah, I'm gonna be live. Yeah. If you kill me, I'll kill you is also part of the tradition Very timely. Yeah And you know what that sound means it's time for a segment we're calling ten buck yucks

Okay, you said in your memoir that when you started out, you would sell jokes on the street. Was it in Los Angeles? In Los Angeles? In front of the Comedy Store. For $10, which adjusted for inflation, would be $40,000. Now we're going to share some classic jokes, and you'll tell us how many dollars you think these are worth up to... Is this today's dollars? Yeah, sure. Yeah, sure.

Okay. Yeah, sure. Real current dollars. Okay. Post-tariff dollars. Right, got it. First joke, I've been in love with the same woman for 50 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me.

Seven. Seven, okay. Why do divorces cost so much? They're worth it. I would say that's no more than the $6.50, really. $6.50, $6.50. Not as good as the other one. A young Jewish man goes to his father and says, Father, can you lend me $40? His father shakes his head and says, $30?

What do you need $20 for? I love that one. Yeah, I would give the $30 for that. That's a good one. Yeah, I would give the $30 for that. That's a good one. Yeah, that's good. That's good. That has so much original construction and that's a clever joke. This one's one of my favorites, which is two old Jews are sitting side by side talking.

One Jew toads to the other and says, hey, you getting any on the side? And the other Jew says, they moved it? That's not bad. I told that joke to a rabbi on this stage. Did he take a swing at you? She. Women can be rabbis now. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

She didn't like it. No. Let's see what we got. A speeding car hits an elderly Jewish man crossing the street. The paramedics rush to his aid. Says one, sir, are you doing all right? Said the man, I make a living. Yes.

Well, that's such a, that's a hundred dollar joke. That's a classic. That's a classic. That's a classic. Let's do, let's do one more. Okay. Let's do one more. A Jewish mother and her son are walking on the beach when a tremendous wave hits the

shore, sweeping the sun out to see. You already know this one. You already know this one. You already know this one. The mother calls to the heavens, God please, he's my only child, the light of my life, bringing back to me, and I promise we'll go to synagogue every week. No, every day. With that an even bigger wave crashes against the sand, depositing your son alive and well, directly in front of her feet, the mother looks up at the sky and says, he was wearing

a hat. Also a great joke. It takes the construction of it. I love the structure. So I'll give that $100 as well. So you would appreciate that that that Senator Mike Lee, who is despicable, when he said about the shooter in Minnesota and tried to blame it on the left nightmare on Walt Street, that is a despicable construction. Yes, That is disgusting. Yes. Because it's Nightmare on Elm Street, maybe Wolf of Wall Street. His name is Walls.

What the fuck are we doing here? Yeah. Well, obviously not a Jew. I mean, that's why. And that's such an important part of it. If Chuck Schumer had made that joke, it would work. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, he could have pulled it off. He could have pulled it off. All right joke, it would work. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he could have pulled it off. He could have pulled it off. Yeah. All right. Give it up for Larry Charles. Thank you. The book is Comedy Samurai.

Yes. Everybody check out all these amazing stories. Do I stay here now? Yeah, you'll stay there. Thank you very much. When we come back, Larry and I are joined by Chinnadu Anaka and Adam Lustick. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. joined by Chinadu Anaka and Adam Lustick. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It brought to you by Mint Mobile. You know what doesn't belong in your epic summer plans getting burned by your old wireless bill while you're planning your beach trips, barbecues and three-day weekends. Your wireless bill should be the last thing holding you back with plans.

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That's MintMobile.com slash love it. Unfraud payment of $45 for three month, five gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 per month. New customer offer for first three months only then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra C, MintMobile, for details. And we're back. options available, taxes and fees, extra semit mobile, for details. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage, the hilarious Chinadu Anaka and for the first time this evening,

the amazing Adam Lustig. Hi, nice to meet you. Oh, great, great. Nice to meet you. Oh, I'm a- Good to see you, how are you? Good to see you, how are you? Hey Larry, good to meet you. Good to see you, how are you? Good to see you again. Man, we realized backstage, Adam had been on the show in 2018. Yes, pre-COVID for sure. When we were doing this, back at the improv, during the first time Donald Trump was fucking president, dealing with Stephen Miller, here we are.

Yes, we're back where we started. the improv during the first time Donald Trump was fucking president and dealing with Stephen Miller. Here we are, right back at it. Right back where we started. Still grinding away. Genevieve, thank you for being here. Welcome to the show. Wow, thank you guys for having me. How's everybody doing? Hey, yo, hey!

Y'all look good, man. Nice to meet you. Yeah, you too, Joe. Adam, you're Jewish, right? Very. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, very. So it's three Jews and you. Yeah, we kinda have you surrounded. Yeah, you're Jewish, right? Very. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, very.

So it's three Jews and you? Yeah, we kind of have you surrounded. Yeah, it's not my first time. It's not his first Shabbos. That's exactly right. We almost have a minion. No, not really. We're far from a minion.

This week, there's been a ton of news. Wave after wave of news. The kind that drags you along the sand and tears your bathing suit bottoms off in front of the hottest lifeguard. I've been there. Anyway. We like to keep our listeners as informed as possible,

which is why I'm going to ask you all to square off in a segment we're calling News It or Lose It. Ooh. Oh, God. I like that. There it is. There it is. News It, News It or Lose It.

Okay. Yeah. Sometimes I gotta bully him a little bit. Yeah. Why do you think it's not on TV this show? Where am I wrong? You've done so many good things on TV. I'm stunned, actually.

This belongs on TV. Yes. Yeah, it does. That's going on a poster. That's the pull quote. For the podcast. This is more entertaining than most of what's on TV. And you know that yourself, I'm sure.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Well, I was fishing for a compliment. I caught a big one. Caught a big one. First question. This week, an American man and presumably voter, Chris Smith,

talked to CBS News about falling in love. Let's roll the clip. I'm not a very emotional man, but I cried my eyes out for like 30 minutes at work. It was unexpected to feel that emotional, but that's when I realized, I was like, oh, okay. It's like, I think this is actual love. You know what I mean? Think I know what he means.

Who did this man fall in love with? I'm Trump. Slightly smarter. Okay. I will say, let me reframe the question. What did this man fall in love with? What? Ooh. A bot? A bot of some kind?

Like AI one? Yeah, you got it. Really? Yeah. This man is talking about being in love with ChatGPT. Hey, Chat's a smooth talker, though. Wow. That's right, Chris Smith, who used his name and whole human face on the news, talked to CBS this morning

about his AI ChatGPT girlfriend, whom he programmed and then fell in love with, despite having a human girlfriend with whom he has a two-year-old daughter. Oh, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Oh, my goodness. Trinity, where are you on AI lovers or platonic? Where are you on AI? Yeah. You know?

I'm in the middle, because if I was to find out my girl was cheating on me, I would love it to be AI. I could forgive that. We could invite that person in. Lewis, you're so progressive of you. 100%. I'm cool, you know what I mean? I'm open to that. Wow. Yeah. So progressive of you. 100%, 100%. Forward thinking. And then you never do worry about sharing those sliders. That part.

You know what I mean? So I think we're headed that way in some ways. I hear there's a loneliness epidemic out there too. So if that helps people from doing like crazy stuff, I'm all for it. You know? Yeah. I mean, I, yeah. No, no, I'm with you.. You know? Yeah. I mean, I, yeah.

No, no, I'm with you. I think maybe like first people could like join a bowling league. You know? With other human beings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a fee. There's a fee, yeah.

There is a fee for the bowling league, but maybe we can come up with some sort of loneliness rate if you prove how sad you are. Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty good idea. So you're against the idea of a human having a relationship with AI? Wow, you're really putting it to me.

Pro or against, John? Pro or against? I mean, he's cheating on his girlfriend in a very emotional way. Assuming everything was clean, what's wrong with that relationship? Right. Because I get excited when a self-checked line is empty. Just a little bit. It's kind of romantic. Just a little bit.

It's kind of romantic. Say, hey, babe. Please put your stuff in the bag. You know what, Larry, thank you for asking that question. I think I don't have a specific problem with the final moment of having a relationship with AI. What makes me worry is all the things that went wrong before the person sat at that computer.

And it's a broken world, a sad world, where people are not finding this with human beings. And it may be that person's fault, they may have terrible qualities, but it also is part of the problem of how we live right now, which is a world they didn't build, it's unfair to them.

And so there's a convenience, it's a little bit like streaming, right? Like it is a better night, a night where you go out to dinner, go to the movies, have a drink after and go home, but it is that moment where you decide not to do that, feels awesome, you know? You're like, oh, I'm just gonna watch Real Housewives,

this is gonna be so fucking good. But if you do that over and over again, you chose this thing that you thought you wanted over and over and over again, but at the end of the week, you'd be a happier person had you done the harder thing sooner. And we live in a world where it's so much easier to choose the easy thing.

And so that makes me sad. Yeah, that's true. And that's the illusion of free will as well. Fuck. Whoa. Wow. He got me. Whoa.

He got me. Seems like a nice guy. He seems happy, so I'm happy for him. Yeah, no. Yeah. I love love. He didn't seem happy. No, did he not?

He didn't seem happy. He was crying and he was like being very weird, actually. I thought. He was crying and he was like being very weird actually. That's not what happy looks like? Next up, Republic Airlines CEO and commercial airline pilot Brian Bedford. Trump's nominee to head up the FAA was in the spotlight this month, not just because his nomination is going to a vote on June 25th, but because Politico and the Air Current, fun name for an air, you know,

for a newspaper about air stuff, the current. Very clever. I like it, I like it, I like it. They revealed he does not actually have this. What doesn't he have? He doesn't have something he said he had. An AI wife. A pilot's license?

No, a pilot's license. Oh really, a pilot's license. That's it. Oh, really? A pilot's license? He doesn't have a pilot's license. His official biography claims he's certified to fly commercial flights, but Politico discovered he does not actually have a commercial license. The Department of Transportation said in a statement, Brian never misrepresented his credential. It was an administrative error that was immediately corrected, though he did admit he does not have a commercial license and a questionnaire released. Is there a shortage of pilots?

There is. Well, then sometimes you've got to bend the rules a little bit. We've got places to be. With the market demands. He should borrow Nathan Fielder's. Nathan Fielder is actually more qualified for that job than this guy. What did you think about, Nathan Fielder to me feels like a kind of whatever,

heir to the Borat kind of gonzo comedy thing. When you watch Nathan Fielder fly, this is a spoiler alert for, well I guess you've already, fuck it. Are you gonna watch the rehearsal? Yeah. Well when you watch it, he does something, he does things that you see and you think, I cannot believe I'm watching this.

I agree with you. Do you feel like that's the legacy of Borat? I don't, I think he's taken it to a very different place. I thought that was an extremely original show, we're talking about all the glut of stuff on streaming. That show stood out to me, there's nothing like that show. Just like this one, there's nothing like it. Oh, thank you for saying that.

And I really thought. Wow, I didn't fish for that one. There's nothing like it. Oh, thank you for saying that. And I really thought. Wow. I didn't fish for that one. That fish jumped right in the boat. That fish, that's like one of those flying fish that aren't supposed to be there. That was an Asian carp. I got hit by an Asian carp of a carpenter.

And I loved it. Like a staff fish filet, you know, free food. It's like a dead-end couch. It's like a pond of comedy. Yeah, that was right. I like that. I like that. Next question, which two basketball teams

are squaring off this night? What's funny about this show is we have the most specific, arcane questions about the news. And this question is, what two basketball teams are in the NBA finals? OK. We were talking about this backstage, Sean. I should warn you.

Really? Yes. These guys know. It's OKC and the Indiana Pacers. Yes, two small market teams. That's right. Yeah. Gray serious, but the viewership has

been one of the lowest since. Really? Yeah, just because there's no big stars. But I'm enjoying myself. Yes, we're enjoying it. Absolutely, yeah. Anybody else watching? It's just us?

Any rooting interest? Yeah, of course. My man. Do you want to know who won tonight? No, no, no. Shut the fuck up. No spoilers, please. Shut up. Do you wanna know who won tonight? No, no, no! Shut the fuck up! Spoilers, please! You shut up!

No, no! I deleted four group chats today. Yes. They have been so neurotic about this backstage. You have no idea. Thank you for asking. Yes, thank you for asking. You know what, honestly,

I wanna say I apologize for how I reacted. I was, I got pretty heated on their behalf, because I'm like a freak about spoilers. You know, like I watch soccer now. I've made, you know, it's, I can't believe it's happened, but I do. I watch soccer now. I go to Angel City games in LA all the time and I love it.

I'm really learning about it. Like I found out what offsides was. Did you, did you play? No. I coached soccer. You coached soccer? I know nothing about soccer. But when I was a teacher, they needed a soccer coach. And so they're like, you're athletic.

I was like, I already bet. And so I coached soccer for a season. That's cool. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, you pick it up. Or you make them up. Yeah, you pick it up.

How old were the kids? The middle school. Middle school? Low stakes. Boys or girls? Boys. So they're just at the age where they're kind of like, no. And they were good.

They were good? Yeah, it's more yelling encouragement. Keep doing that. Boys or girls? Boys. So they're just at the age where they're kind of like, And they're good. They were good? Yeah, it's more yelling encouragement. Keep doing that! Nice. Keep it up. Yeah, yeah. Keep it right up. What do you teach?

I taught special education, math and English. Yeah, mouse and monitor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Appreciate that. Yeah, man. Where'd you do that? Where were you teaching? LA.

I taught in LA. Ah, that's cool. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Sorry. What do you think about someone who had such a meaningful and important work with kids? I'm very impressed with it.

Yeah, because while you were fucking off with jokes. What'd you like then? I was doing jokes, dude. He was doing jokes, but he was like helping kids in a school, coaching these kids, teaching them about the fucking world. You're like, uh, Sasha, why do you tell this store clerk that he's an idiot?

Yeah. But typically, It's getting real mad. But we're here together, so that's, That's right. That's the nice thing about it. I used to warm up the class with like, crowd work and stuff. Did you?

Yeah, yeah. What else, what else, what else? You guys see these, uh, gos? These pogs, what about these pogs? He'd ask them where they're from, but he knew where they're from. Right, yeah. He does. Anybody you're dating? All right. He's pogs. What about these pogs? He'd ask them where they're from, but he knew where they're from. Anybody here dating?

All right. Next question. Despite being in charge of vetting thousands of administration employees, Trump's director of presidential personnel, Sergio Gore, hadn't completed his own vetting process, refusing to turn in the 100-page background dossier required for permanent security clearance. This week, the former Ron Paul aide refused to answer what personal question when contacted by the New York Post. Is it A, are you married?

B, what country were you born in? C, did you graduate high school? D, did you DJ Matt Gaetz's wedding? I'm going for all the above. Yeah. E. I'm going for all the above. I'm going for D. Matt Kates' wedding? Yeah.

I'm going to say that he refused to answer, are you married? All of you are wrong. Oh! He didn't want to answer what country. It wasn't one of the questions that was on the cards. It was what country were you born in? Apparently reports say he's braggers up being born in Malta. Though a Maltese official contacted by the Post

could not find any record of his birth happening in the small country of just over 500,000 people, saying in a statement, no acts are registered with these provided details. And his last name is Gore? His name is Gore, and by the way, he did DJ Mackay. Yeah. It's a sweat egg.

It sounds like something he would do. Oh my God, terror. So you mean Kid Rock's real name is Gore. Yeah, that's right, that's right. That's under a pseudonym. Yeah, right, right. Ew. Former White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney

expressed his concern to the press this week over where the president would land his helicopter after Trump unveiled two new what? Where he'll. Where Trump would land his helicopter after he unveiled two new what? What would stop him from landing his helicopter? Oh, a helipad.

Well, that would make it easier. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Maybe ankle braces. Yeah. Maybe ankle braces. Oh. It was two flagpoles on the North Lawn, one on the South Lawn. He put in these giant fucking flagpoles.

Loser, man. For what? Why? Why? The pole is so thick. Because he's a fucking asshole, that's why. Yeah. Because he's a bored, old idiot.

So bored. He's just like reorganizing the whole. Yes. Just, don't you have work to do? Unbelievable, unbelievable. He already said about it, it is my great honor to announce that I will be putting up two beautiful flagpoles.

Oh God. On both sides of the White House. It is a gift from me, something which was always missing from this White House. It is a gift from me. Something which was always missing from this magnificent place. It was not missing. There was a flagpole on top of the White House. It is famously where the American flag flies

above the fucking White House. Probably featured. But because he has the same fucking intellectual capacity as a child that is not able to understand that when you do peek-a-boo, the person remains because he can't see the flag out the window, it doesn't fucking exist. He can't conceive of other people seeing a world

where he is an object and they can see the flag on top of the building, so there are no flags. Yeah, main character syndrome. Maybe, maybe he actually went blind when he looked at the eclipse Yeah, yes, that's why the flags have to be so big Yeah, yeah, they're in front of right in front of him because he stared at that stupid eclipse Every single dumb Impulsive idiotic decision that he makes it is just terrible like the amount of bureaucratic paperwork that has to follow.

Like now they have to find new places to land. That's like, so there's real consequences for real people trying to do real work. This is tough for the next president because you want to remove the flags, but you know, the news coverage are moving. Yeah. Oh, taking down the flag?

The flag that our troops fight for? Piece of fucking shit. Yeah, I'd be like, I'm adding it to the roof. Yeah flag that our troops fight for, piece of fucking shit. I'm adding it to the roof. Yeah, that's right. No, the flags are not being, now then there's like, this is how the Democrats would handle it. Then maybe like the press secretary would say like, there's a lot of misinformation that President Buttigieg

is removing American flags. There's a lot of misinformation that President Klobuchar is removing the flags. There's a lot of misinformation that President Klobuchar is removing the flags. Obviously, as the president said, the flags are being moved to a museum and will be going from school to school. They'll be touring until you lose track. One of them is for the Confederate flag. Right, one of them will be for the Confederate flag. That's where he pitched it.

Yeah, exactly. This week, the New York Times is reporting that the Trump administration is considering overturning the ban on this outlawed building material, which is prohibited in over 50 countries due to its link to lung and other forms of cancer. Well, that's asbestos. Yes!

They're gonna take, they want, they're bringing asbestos back? Make asbestos great again. Make America cancerous again. Yeah, exactly. When I graduated from college, I worked as a temp paralegal, and my job was filling out the paperwork

for people trying to access those funds for methyl, you know the advertising in the subway that's like, have you met those mesothelioma? Call this number. I was at the other side of that process filling out the forms in a windowless room with an improv person, a baker, and like all of us sitting just like, where are we? What is this nightmare? It was very like Brazil, like we're the movie Brazil, not the country Brazil, but like where we

were in a windowless room and then a legal aide would come by with a cart with a certain stack of paperwork. And our goal was to get to the bottom of our stack before she came with more, but it was fucking random. It was random. Right, right. That is very Brazil-like. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't teach kids. I mean. No, no. We're all teaching in one way. Right. You know? Adam, you're working on a YouTube channel

that's about explaining issues like this. Yes. To people called Now What. It's called Now What, and it is a kind of animation comedy initiative that was started by these two wonderful people, Brendan Burch and Wendy Willis, who used to work at this great animation company,

Six Point Harness. They launched it before the election to help get Kamala elected, so that worked. That was good. But they've been making a lot of wonderful animated shorts, trying to get the youth out to vote and be informed about things like the gun control and what's really in the big beautiful bill and the housing crisis, etc. So, yeah, it's been really great. That's great.

And just because I thought it was funny, there was apparently an episode of Two Broke Girls in 2013 where they added jokes on the day of the shoot to make fun of your baldness. Correctamundo. Yeah, that's right. Yes, exactly right. Yeah. It was one episode. we were at a diner, I was supposed to be like sort of a shitty boyfriend or something, that was like the bit of the scene, I guess.

And on the day, they were like, oh, this would be great, like really poke fun of him. And I believe the line they added, it was something along the lines of, I can't remember, I'm gonna butcher it, I think. But. You're gonna butcher a two broke girl's line? Go for it.

Yeah. A two broke girl's line from 13 years ago. But anyway, sorry, I can't remember, but yes, they did, they went out of their way to sort of mock my baldness in the scene. So sort of, it's my calling card, I guess. So that's it, yeah. It was baldhead.

Yeah. That was their first time doing it The show that having a bald person on the show Was one scene I would never went on the show before but that wasn't a screw when you audition, correct? And they do that on you when you got there No, no, I was such a good sport and it was, I was. Yeah, of course. I'm going to say yeah too. Of course, obviously.

What are you going to do? But inside I'm like. Exactly. That's right. My mom's watching this. Yeah, exactly. Would you have done that to Adam? Larry?

Well, Larry David, I mean, he was an openly bald person. So. Yeah. Yeah. He really broke, he was an openly bald person. So. Yeah, yeah. He really broke down that highest, hardest bald ceiling. Right, so we had somebody in the show. We had a regular, unlike two broke girls, we had a regular character in the show who was bald. Yes.

Jinnadu, you won the game. I did. Wow, Jinnadu, congratulations, man. Congrats, bud. You won the game. You know why I won the game? Because he's a teacher. Why, man? Because he was a fucking teacher. He was the game? Because he's a teacher.

Because he was a fucking teacher. He was a teacher. Because he's a teacher. Well, you were doing your little jokes about your appearance at you. And Larry was like, I don't know, maybe they could talk about nothing. You were helping. He's helping people. We'll be right back.

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To unlock, terminally online. It's a subscriber only show where cricket hosts and staff dive head first into the internet's wildest corners. In the latest episode, I'm joined by Cricket Zone, Kieril, Kendra, and Elijah. I'll be talking about something that I have been a little bit obsessed with, which is, so you know how on TikTok, the algorithm that Larry loves,

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that might be a set. That's the rabbit hole I'm going down. The acting's not great though, so you can pick it up. You can kind of smell a fake. They're getting worse, they're getting worse. They're getting cheaper and they're getting worse. Anyway, subscribe. Yeah. At Cricut.com slash friends.

All right, we are recording this show on Juneteenth, a day that marks the release of The Last American Slave, two and a half years after the Emancipation Proclamation. In the spirit of something that's better late than never, we're each, we're each gonna share something great we found too late in a segment we're calling the late night rate wheel. So in this wheel, we're just gonna talk about something

we discovered too late, but better late than never, you know? Let's see the wheel. Wow. Oh. Chinadoop. Chinadoop. Something that's late, but it's good. I don't know if this is everywhere, but I've been seeing it more often. You know the one where you put the parking meters? Now they have like a QR code that you could pay, you don't have to come back.

When you run out of time, you don't have to go. Now you can pay wherever you are. Now, I feel like I'm getting way less parking tickets for that reason. I think that's a good thing. That technology was available a long time ago. I wonder who pushed that through. Whoever did should be running for president. Kudos. That is better to have the QR code. I saw that the other day. It was cool.

God, I wonder what kind of convoluted hell-like process it took to get those QR codes onto those parking meters in Los Angeles. You know, because the money's in the ticket, not in the actual meter. Right. Right. Right.

With different budgets, too. It's like there's somebody who's got to want to try to get any money for the tickets. You know what's been driving me crazy in Los Angeles lately? Is anyone else noticing that more and more cars have darker and darker tinted windows? That it's getting out of control? It is getting out of control. It's the middle of the day.

These are just pitch black windows. I worry about what it's like at night, but it's like, hey, part of the code of being fellow human beings is I need to, you need to, I need to see that you see that I see you for getting in. Right. What the fuck? And they'll like, Uber? No, no, just generally.

Generally, driving around, all the cars have tinted windows, and their windshields are tinted now. Yes. What's going on? I think, yeah, I mean. People are doing weird things in their car. Yeah, on? I think, yeah, I mean, people are doing weird things. They're digging burgers. Yeah, usually. Try this. Usually burgers. I think. Yeah, that's

why I pick my nose. No. Do you have tinted windows? No. I just, I pick my spots a good. That's confidence. That's knowing yourself. He was a teacher. He was a teacher. He was a teacher. I do think there's a connection between the tinted windows and the people falling in love with Chat GPT. I can see a connection. Yeah, it's happening inside the cars. It is, and that's the connection.

It's what's happening inside the vehicles themselves. It's like, I don't need tinted windows, And yeah, I'm going to McDonald's in the morning and I am doing the double cheeseburger, second double cheeseburger for a dollar and then eating them both. In the morning, John? Well, after 11. Right, right.

Why, should I get the fucking salad at them? I don't think they even have it anymore. I'm gonna get the salad at the office, that's why I have to have the burgers on the way. Those are my secret burgers to make the salad possible. Let's spin it again. Hey. Larry, what's something that you came to, or that came to you, better late than never?

Well, you know, I thought about this question so deeply that I actually wrote something down. I'm even going to take my glasses off. This is not particularly a funny one. I'll just read it. The things that I feel are late still haven't come. I would call these things too late. That's how late they are. The end of the Palestinian genocide. No matter when it happens, it's going to be too late.

We led the coup in Iran in 1953 that ousted their democratically elected leader and replaced them with a stooge, the Shah of Iran, which led to the Islamic Revolution. And now we're still meddling in their business and going to war with them, along with Israel. No matter when that ends, it's too late. Gay marriage was passed, but now it's in danger of being taken away, along with trans rights. So even though those things came along, now they're being repealed. That's the environment we're in.

The climate and of course, the end of Trump, no matter when Trump ends in whatever form he ends, it's going to be too late. So that's my. Yeah, sure. It's true. And I wrote it down. I'm glad you did. I could never have done it otherwise. Let's spin it again. I wonder who it could possibly be. Oh my god, it's me.

So this is something that is, I feel like late, maybe not for me personally, but more for the culture, which is the lionization of Paul Rubens. I love the Paul Rubens reputational repair. Yes. I feel like, I don't know if you, I don't know him personally, but of course, Pee Wee meant the world to us, and I think I speak for all of us and say he meant the world to us.

And by all anecdotal accounts and by all whatever, he was just like a menschy, lovely, caring, thoughtful, silly, kind man, who was, as, kind man, who was, as we all know, infamously busted for masturbating in a porn or theater, which is kind of like being busted for bowling in a bowling alley, I guess.

And I just am happy that better late than ever, he is sort of getting the kind of reputational, whatever that I feel like is long deserved. I'm a huge fan. That's a good one. That's a really good one. Good one. And to what you, and what we were talking about earlier too about just doing something no one else had done before,

and just, there was a story, I'm losing her name, which is because I'm remembering from the fly, but she was the mail person on Pee Wee's Herman, Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse, before she was ever on Law and Order. And it was her first day, and Pee Wee Herman's Playhouse before she was ever on Law and Order. And it was her first day, and Pee Wee Herman was just making her crack up. Like she was just losing it.

She was laughing, she couldn't stop laughing. And she's like, trying to keep it together, kept doing new stuff to make her laugh. He was laughing, having a great time. And the director who was directing this thing just kept saying, we're gonna lose it. You've gotta get it, you gotta get it. He's getting more and more angry.

And she turns to Paul Rubin and it's like, hey, keep making me, please just stop looking at me. You're gonna to get it. You've got to get it. It's getting more and more angry. And she turns to Paul Rubens and is like, hey, you keep making me break. Please just stop looking at me. You're going to make me laugh. I'm going to lose this job. They're going to fire me. And Paul Rubens just goes, that's up to me. Yeah.

Yeah. It's like such a good story. So good. That's great. It's mind-assuming. That's great. Yeah. Really cool.

Yeah. Really cool. Let's spin, yeah. Really cool. Yeah. Really cool. Let's spin it again. Mm-hmm. ["The Last Supper"] It is. This wheel is rigged, am I right?

Yeah, I think it is rigged. It is a bit rigged. It's also one, it forces you to ask, what purpose does it serve? We could just take turns without the wheel.? We could just take turns without it. We could potentially just take turns without it. But it adds a little something. Yeah.

It's like Hollywood. We're in Hollywood. We used to make things here. We used to make things here. Here's what I came late to. I came late to the whole, I've talked about it, but real housewives. I came late to it,, I've talked about it, but Real Housewives. I came late to it and I love it so much. I cannot believe how entertaining it is.

It's got its hooks in me. It is some of the best. The writing is as good as any writing. The acting is as good as any acting. The stories are as good as any stories. It is fucking incredible. Every episode has a line where if you saw it in a scripted drama or comedy, you'd think,

that is one of the funniest, most creative things I've ever heard, just coming out of these fucking women's mouths, and it rules, and I love it. And I'm gonna try to interview them as much as possible now. And their stories are now gonna be infused into everything I do, and that's become part of my identity. The Real Housewives are part of my identity. We just finished all the way through New York.

Now we're back at Beverly Hills from the jump. Oh my God, I didn't know Lisa Vanderpump was British. I found that out this fucking week. British? Vanderpump? Where's their money from? It can't be from restaurants. That house is too big for it to have come from restaurants. It's a tough business to restaurant business.

It's low margin. If it rains, you lose the whole fucking day. It's crazy. It's too much house for restaurants. I also came late to the plug for Jinderdu's special. Yeah. Which is, your special's on Hulu on July 11th. July 11th, yep.

But you can see him 24 seven on Instagram. Yeah. Not 24 seven, I don't know. But usually, three days out the week, I might post something or share something. Right, I guess you're not there 24 seven, but we could be. Yeah, facts.

Right, exactly. We could be there anytime. 100%. That's the thing about Instagram. I'm on it, I just, I'm not posting often, but if you DM me, I'll see it. Wow. And I respond.

That's sweet. I'm like, yeah man, appreciate it. I like that. They all have these little tiny fucking dogs. Oh, housewives. I ain't talking about those dogs on a special. All right, everybody check out Jenidoo's special. Check out Adam's work for Now What.

Everybody check out Larry's book, Comedy Samurai, 40 Years of Blood, Guts and Laughter, in equal measure. Yes sir. Yeah. That's our show. All right. One more time for Larry Charles, Chinadu Anaka and Adam Lustig.

We will see you next week at the Elysian Theater. Nice. There are 500 days until the midterms. Fuck. Have a great night. Have a great weekend. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

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