Lovett or Leave It - Masking My Feelings

Episode Date: April 4, 2020

Alex Wagner, Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani, and Saru Jayaraman join for the fourth Back in the Closet episode. Plus we attempt a live audience with our friends in Seattle and Spokane (huge success!), and listeners share their weird new self-care rituals. Bag two of Hershey's nuggets: done.

All right, everybody, welcome to the fourth episode of Love It or Leave It back in the closet. Loving or leaving in the closet again Sounds super gay. Super gay. Not gay enough. Not you, sir. Fantastic. If you're listening at home, you just heard the new Back in the Closet intro song

by someone who calls themselves Rob L. from Long Island, and it's awesome. So we want to use a new intro for Back in the Closet every week. If you want to make one, you can send them to hey at crooked.com, and maybe we'll use yours. And you may have noticed that you heard some light applause from an audience. Okay. We've had to cancel our live shows across the country,

and as much as he tries, Ronan's applause isn't enough to get me through the day. So today we wanted to try something a little different. We asked anyone who had a ticket to our canceled Washington shows to join us via the World Wide Web. We've got a bunch of people watching us on Zoom. How is everybody doing? Awesome. Effectively well. Now, before we get to the show, if you're looking for a way to help those in need,

Crooked's Coronavirus Relief Fund helps food banks, healthcare workers, restaurant workers, seniors, kids who depend on school lunches, and more. In fact, Saru, one of our guests, will talk about how the coronavirus and the economic downturn has hit the people she represents in the restaurant industry and tipped workers. We've already crossed a million dollars in that fund, and you can donate at crooked.com slash coronavirus. And we have a great show tonight. Kumail Nanjiani and Emily Gordon are here. Alex Wagner, an advocate.

Saru Jayaraman are here. But first, let's get into it. What a week. That's awesome. What's up, Seattle? Wow, what a beautiful venue. How's everybody doing in the balcony? Those are my people.

I love Washington State. Some beautiful parks up there. Love to take long hikes in the woods, breathe in that crisp mountain air, and really enjoy the peace and quiet before I stumble upon one of your many neo-Nazi militia compounds. It's fine. It's fine.

And, you know, Seattle, you don't get the credit you deserve, okay? You're a path-breaking city. The grunge scene, boutique coffee, pandemics. You're always one step ahead and yet not ready to laugh about it. And fair enough. Meanwhile, Los Angeles also just announced that anyone traveling outside should wear a cloth mask at all times. This isn't to prevent the spread of coronavirus, but to prevent the people of

Los Angeles from seeing how much weight we've gained. It was only last week that Trump was defiant, suggesting America would soon reopen and we'd all celebrate Easter with open mouth kisses and 1970s style key parties. But then over the weekend, after bragging about the television ratings of his gritty reboot of SARS and still denying his administration's ongoing failures on testing and getting needed supplies to hospitals, there was a shift. First, Dr. Anthony Fauci, the only good person, went on one of the Sunday shows and announced that if we were lucky, America would suffer only between 100,000 and 200,000 deaths. Within a day, Trump announced that Mike Pence's 15 days to slow the spread would become 30 days to slow the spread. And the clock was reset. And this created all kinds of problems because Trump forgot to click save before he reset Mike Pence. And then he lost a couple hours of work. And you know, when you and like, yeah, it's just a couple hours. But like the first time you get something down,

it has a kind of special quality. And yeah, you can try to recreate it. So the pandemic... Shut up. Everybody shut up. No, you're doing great. Don't. You're doing so great. Keep participating. So the pandemic spreads out of China. South Korea's government says, let's quickly test and trace positive cases to contain the outbreak. And the US government says, buy stocks. Now the administration admits that because of their epic failure, we may see 200,000 dead Americans. And because Trump managed to deliver this information without goose-stepping or complimenting a woman's breasts, we got this. I've never seen President Trump like this. And I think to some extent he is scared right now, Anderson. And we could all feel that in the room. Now here is Donald Trump being presidential just two days later.

Did you know I was number one on Facebook? I just found out I'm number one on Facebook. I thought that was very nice for whatever it means. No, it represents something. Meanwhile, we learned a lot this week about what led to this horrifying scenario. The Washington Post reported that back on February 5th, HHS Secretary Alex Azar asked the White House Budget Office for $2 billion to purchase masks and other supplies for the federal stockpile. The White House cut that by 75%. That was two weeks after the first case of the virus

was discovered in the US. The Trump administration sent Massachusetts 17% of what it requested. Maine received 5%. And Colorado got a shipment that would cover state-wide operations for just a single day. Florida, which is an important swing state with a vile governor Trump wants to kiss, received everything it asked for in just three days after submitting its request. Florida then received a second shipment and is now awaiting a third. Adding insult to injury, Miami got unneeded ventilators after a group of pale, skinny, sick-looking protesters at the Gansevoort said they would die without nose candy. So I don't, it seems like there was a, just a miscommunication. I want you all to know something.

Travis wrote a joke here about Tiger King on Netflix, which I haven't seen. What? And I didn't understand. So I cut the joke, but I'm keeping the transition. Okay. So the transition is what should have followed a joke I didn't get and removed. Speaking of murderers, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis only issued a stay-at-home order for the state on Wednesday

as the number of cases in the state doubled in just four days, surely crossing 10,000 by the time this episode is released, which means for the first time ever, unintended pregnancies got to be the second most unwelcome thing college sophomores brought home from spring break. That's a tough one. Listen, it's a tough one, Rachel. I see your frown, Rachel. All right.

I can see all of you. I'm going to make this smaller so I can see even more of your faces and react to them individually. Then on Thursday, we learned just how hard this unchecked pandemic has hit the economy and people's lives. The Labor Department announced the loss of 10 million jobs in two weeks with a record 6.6 million people filing for unemployment in the last seven days. 10 million jobs in two weeks. For comparison, during the Great Recession, we lost 8.8 million jobs over the course of two years. And that was a catastrophic economic event. So this is not a funny topic. This is a misery, and it's unfair, and it was preventable. This is careers derailed, families living in cars, and we should be sad, and we should be angry, and we should be, it's really hard to joke about. But so are school shootings and we crack that

after a while. So just saying this is America, this is America. And if we couldn't joke about preventable deaths caused by our failed government, we couldn't talk about politics. deaths caused by our failed government, we couldn't talk about politics. So even though it's hard, here we go. I haven't seen a cataclysm 10 million jobs you should call my ex-wife because she'll give a job to anybody a massive surge in unemployment i haven't seen this much economic dislocation since the time my ex-wife used the money she got after her sister died to start a crocheted pillowcase business out of my son's room after he moved to Phoenix because she'd always loved art and had a real talent for it. Deep down, I knew it wouldn't work.

But how do you tell her that? How do you tell someone their dream isn't worth the money? But by then, I was drinking so much and we had grown apart. Am I upset she cheated? Sure. And I joke. But how can I blame her? You can't crochet a pillowcase

and wrap it around a failed marriage. And Lord knows we tried. Let's go on a cruise, she says. Let's have an adventure. Only couple in history that had a worse time on a cruise than the poor souls on that diamond princess and some of those people died.

Anyway, I'm sorry if you lost your job. I'm so sorry. If it's any comfort in this difficult time, you should know that Trump has top minds on the case. The president also wanted us to make sure we think outside the box, make sure we're finding all the best thinkers in the country. Make sure we're finding all the best thinkers in the country. Checks out. Checks out. That was Jared Kushner, a man with no discernible skill set, talent, expertise, wisdom, life experience, accomplishment, judgment, charisma, grit, compassion, bravery, or self-awareness.

I was thinking about this, and there are only two problems I can think of in which it would make sense to call Jared Kushner, and it's getting your dumbest child into Harvard or getting a can of beans from a high shelf. Those are the only two reasons you should ever call Jared Kushner. Michelle Goldberg in The Times wrote a great piece about this under the appropriate headline, Jared Kushner is going to get us all killed. Jared Kushner being in that briefing room is all the proof you need that this response is not being run by the right people. And I decided to make a list of some of the people I would

sincerely rather have running our coronavirus response than Jared Kushner. I think I'm sincere in saying I would choose these people. Here we go. Ted Cruz. Martin Shkreli. Anyone from the cartel in Ozark. Britney, once she's out of conservatorship. Charles Kushner, Jared's dad, because yes, he's a criminal, but he made money. Josh Kushner, Jared's brother, the good Kushner.

Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel Plainview from There Will Be Blood. Tom Arnold, because yes, he's pretty loose, but I kind of deep down think his heart is in the right place. Joe Biden at his peak. Joe Biden now. Eve Palastri. Villanelle. Joe Biden now Eve Eve Eve

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Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve Eve This has been a very hard few weeks. It's been hard keeping up with the news. It's been even harder to find yourself being part of the news. Many of us know people now who are sick or have gotten sick ourselves. Many have been touched by the economic recession that has taken hold.

You know, this show is about cheering people up and giving people a place to share their feelings and commiserate and put that pain towards what we can each do in our communities. And there's a lot of bad news and it will probably get worse. And he'll lie and a lot of people will believe those lies. And a lot of people who know better will spread those lies. But then there's this. Earlier this week, a letter sent by Captain Brett Crozier of the USS Teddy Roosevelt, I'm calling it Teddy, but it's Theodore, was leaked to the press.

In the letter, the captain warned naval leadership that the virus was spreading on board and that close quarters in which more than 4,000 sailors live and work make it impossible to contain the virus. He rang the alarm, risking his own career, and he was relieved of his command by the Navy. But this is what broke out after Captain Crozier was relieved of command and forced to leave the ship. Captain Crozier! Captain Crozier! Captain Crozier! Captain Crozier! And I found this so moving, I decided not to make a joke about all of those seamen.

not to make a joke about all of those semen. And then I changed my mind. Here we go. I haven't seen this many happy sailors since my ex-wife found out about Fleet Week. Thank you to everybody from Seattle and spokane and everybody across washington for joining for this experimental zoom monologue i am calling it a huge success uh yay when we come when we come back your face what'd you say? stop touching your face I'm in my house, I can touch my face in my house

this is the place where it's cool I walked the dog I came inside I washed them thoroughly now it's face touching time this is the place that's the beauty of staying home and taking

care of yourself and making sure your house is clean and not taking anything else. It is the freedom to go like this. Give yourself a little of that. If I wanted to hear from you, I will call on you. Like I will call on Rachel and the man

in the hat with the beard to say, how are you doing? Hi. Good. We're great. We're good. You working from home? I'm a teacher. He works for the fire department.

Are you still working? I am working a lot. I go to work every day. Well, thanks for doing that. Jim and Emma. Hello. Hey there. How are you guys doing?

We're good. You made my week last week. I was on the high notes. You were on the high. Man, you're getting a lot of buzz from Love It or Leave It. We've got to move on. We've already talked to you. Let's see. Hi, Amanda. Hi. How you doing?

I'm good. How's life at home? Well, my wife got laid off, but her boss is actually on this call too. So that's kind of funny. Okay. I almost feel like it's wrong for me to ask who the boss is because that is really unfair. for me to ask who the boss is because that is really unfair. But so whoever you are, boss, you know, you're having a bad moment and feeling some things. That's dark and quite real. Going down one box, Emily Jordan, how you doing? I'm good. I'm chilling.

You working from home? Yeah. Yeah. I just started my job a few months ago, and then they sent us all home a couple weeks ago. So it's been interesting. I want to go back to Amanda Mead because I thought of something. First of all, I want to know how your wife is doing. Is she okay? Yeah, she's keeping herself busy by renovating our laundry room. So currently our house is kind of a disaster upstairs so yeah in fact she wanted to be on this call and she showed up and her face like it's covered in coal dust because so coal dust what are you do you live in a mine what are you talking about

there shouldn't be coal why is there coal in your laundry room? Are you Santa? What are you talking about? Now, Amanda, I thought of something. I thought of something, which is I'm going to do this. If you are the boss on the call and are okay being talked to, say hello now. And if you don't want to talk about this, which is very understandable, just stay quiet. Hello. Wait, I gotta, what is your name? My name is James. How are you? Hi, James. How are you doing? Hi, John. So what do you, what do you do? I'm a remodeling contractor. And it sounds like your business is, is hit hard by this. this. That's right. Under the stay-at-home order, most construction in Washington is considered non-essential. And so, yes.

Hi, Amanda. How are you doing? How are you? So you guys are still okay? You're still okay? Yeah. We're good. I sent Amanda's wife the screenshot of the email for tickets because we all had tickets for the Spokane show.

Do you think that that makes up for firing her wife? I'm sorry, James, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, James. No, no, you're good. No hard feelings. Let's leave it there. Thank you all so much for being part of this. I'm going to call it, I'm just going to say this was a success.

I'm not going to wait for the review. Thank you all. Hang in there in Seattle and Spokane, across Washington. Thanks. I'm sorry we couldn't come and be in person. We will in the future. So thank you, everybody, for being part of this experiment. And when we come back, we're going to talk to Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. She's a writer, producer and co-host of Staying In, a new podcast about living your best quarantine life, Emily Gordon. And he's a comedian, actor, bodybuilder, and also the co-host of that same podcast, Kumail Nanjiani. Emily and Kumail, thank you for joining us. How are you holding up? I got to say being called a bodybuilder is maybe the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. It's maybe the worst that's ever happened to me. I was in an existential dread until that intro. And now I'm thriving in the apocalypse.

Isn't it crazy that how are you holding up has replaced every other question? It's like the question you say to, you know, we've met, but relative strangers. I have two minds on how are you holding up? And on the one hand, it's like, how have we been reduced to this cliche? how have we been reduced to this cliche? But then I remember David Foster Wallace giving that commencement about the value of cliches in your hardest moments. And so that's where my head is at. Well, to answer your question,

it's been up and down, back and forth for both of us. And so far, thankfully, our freakouts have not synced up. So before we get to the game, I do want to ask you each a question. So Emily, you've talked about being immunocompromised. Uh-huh. How angry were you when some started to urge that for the sake of the markets,

the immunocompromised and the old stay in the homes and let the rest of us go back to work? I think my first reaction, unfortunately, was, yeah, that seems right. I'll be over here if you guys need me. My first reaction was like, because that is part of what I've had to deal with this, like where other people are like out and about. I've had to quarantine myself for periods of time. So I think, unfortunately, my first reaction was like, that seems about right. Okay. All right. And then, yeah, it's positively infuriating that anybody would cast aside members of our society as being less worthy of having a life or less worthy of health at all,

because we need to set some consumerism in motion. I don't know. I want to buy stuff just as much as anyone else. I want to go to restaurants just as much as anyone else, but we all kind of have to do this. And it's not our job. We've messed up if this is what we've come to. And I think it's the same thing. We've messed up of what we're coming to is asking people like me and people like my parents to stay indoors for the good of the stock market. And not even the good of a small restaurant in my neighborhood, for the good of the stock market. Well, the other thing that you have, which explains your first reaction, I think, is that you have this it's a southern thing i think where if you're sick you feel like you're imposing on other people that is true um and that's

something that we've talked about and worked on a lot as as in the last 13 years it's been something that's yeah you know that you live with right this is not like you had a flu and then it's gone this is now it's it's 13 years and it's going to be for many, many more decades. If we're lucky. Yes, please. We're not going there. And so part of your first reaction to be like, I am so sorry. I'll stay home.

You're right. I don't want to ruin America for anybody. That reaction makes sense to me. You know what? You're right. This is my fault. I'm going to go. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. My accent. I start getting southern again uh so kumail here's my question for you talk to me about the diet how are we doing are we keto are we maintaining come on come on i started freaking out before um early adopter i was an early adopter freaking out okay because i'd sort of been following the novel coronavirus since january because then... You had their early stuff.

Because, yeah, I'm like a hipster about this virus. Like, oh, this news... I heard their first album. I was listening to the kind of acoustic stuff out of Wuhan. Oh, yeah, exactly. Waiting for the major releases. Exactly. They had this one, like, they recorded it in a toilet in Wuhan.

It was so... It was just very pure. The SoundCloud. Basically, because Emily is immunocompromised, so I sort of was like keeping track of this. And I saw the list of people who are in high risk groups. And I was like, okay, so this sounds like it's something we need to be aware of more than other people. We don't have the luxury of being cavalier about this. So as things were sort of progressing and it felt like there

were still a lot of um i mean there's still denial in america i'm so curious how this is gonna get back to your diet me too i ordered i ordered before the quarantine i sort of stocked up on like protein stuff and i got some workout stuff because i go to a gym and i was getting less comfortable going to the gym. So I bought some gym stuff and we put it in our garage. And so I have been working out like my fucking sanity depends on it. It's a problem. Sometimes I work out and start crying.

I don't know what's going on. I do know what's going on. He's gotten very even bigger. I don't. He's gotten very, even bigger. He's gotten very big. Do you think that maybe what you're crying is that you're mourning the fact that you used to have a respectable comedian's body? And now that body has been fucking buried. And now you have a non-funny body. Like, you understand how much funny you've probably lost because of this?

30%. Is that the issue? About 30%. We decided it's 30%. I've lost about 30% less funny. By the way, best trade I ever made. Yeah, no, listen.

Hey, listen. There's not a comedian in the world that would make that trade. Yeah, listen. 30% less funny is still pretty funny. I'm still okay.

Yeah. Here's the thing, though, is now, right now, the comedy's gone, right? Because the world is gone. So if I was just a stand-up, I'd have nothing to, like, inform my identity or my self-worth. But since I have the body, I don't need anybody else for that. I got a mirror.

Truly disgusting. Horrifying, isn't it? That is, you are. Thriving in the apocalypse. That is, I have to say, of all the ways that could have gone. The worst, right? Apocalypse. I have to say, of all the ways that could have gone, that is the least likable, most monstrous. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

All right, let's play the game. All right. Sleeping great. Right now, when it comes to spending time as a couple, it's all about quantity, not quality. We're on top of each other, and that's not easy. Some couples will become closer. Some will become, what's the word, divorced. And this is real.

I wrote that joke while sitting next to Ronan on the couch, who was playing a game called Doom Eternal. Oh, I love this. Who else is playing it? I love it. Okay, we can talk about that. But as he was saying, so he heard me make this joke. I was testing out the joke. And he said, that joke is what we call well-worn.

And I said, Doom Eternal, is that a game about our relationship? Oh, no. The point is we're learning a lot about each other as couples in this new environment. So we wanted to quiz Emily and Kumail about what they've learned about each other in a game we're calling the Achooly Spread Game. That's the Achooly Spread Game because you took newlywed and we added achoo and spread

because they're pandemic terms. I think that was a bridge too far. I would like to say that sneezing is actually not one of the main symptoms of COVID-19. It's only about four and a half percent present is that. Really good point. Love the effort. I was thinking newly head fever.

Newly head fever? Head fever. Again, it doesn't manifest itself in the head or the sinuses. It really is, for the most part, a lower respiratory thing. It's a throat, chest, lower tract. That's right. So here's how it works. I'm going to ask one of you a question, and before that person answers, the other will write down what they think the other person is going to say, and we'll see who's a quarantine idol and who should shelter in place.

Are you ready to enter the stay-at-home hippodrome? Yes. Yes. Okay. We are ready. Kumail, the first question is to you, and Emily is goinghome hippodrome. Yes. Yes. Okay. We are ready. Kumail, the first question is to you, and Emily is going to write her answer. Kumail, what's the thing you do that annoys Emily most during quarantine? Wow.

Are you looking for a list, or are we? Just one thing. Just go for the top one thing. Oh, I got it. Is it me begging you to give me a haircut? I put, lecture me about hand washing. Wow. Oh, I got it. Is it me begging you to give me a haircut? I put, lecture me about hand washing. Wow.

Not about whether or not to wash my hands. Lecturing me on how to wash my hands and giving me tips on my techniques. You think I'm happy about having to give a 40-year-old tips on how to wash hands? You think that this is how I thought my life would go? Hey, Kumail, I found the new thing that you do that's most annoying, which is call your wife 40 years old on the podcast. She's happy with it. Do you think that a 41-year-old should have to get a haircut from his wife?

I don't know. Maybe not. New rules, new times. That is true. Because here, John, can I ask you this? Yes. You're the arbiter. How do you, Don't say anything.

How do you wash your hands? Just talk me through step by step how you wash your hands. Don't fall for this. There's no detail that is not appropriate here, not relevant here. So here's what I do. I turn the water on. I wet my hands. You're already a step ahead. You've already won.

I take some soap in my hands. Lather, lather, lather, lather, lather. Then lather, lather, lather. Lather, lather, lather. Interesting. I've just been putting this soap into my mouth. Was that wrong? The only thing I do

is I put the soap on first. No, this is what she does. And then I turn on the water. She doesn't wet her hands first. She just puts soap on, rubs soap in it, and then turns on the water and then just washes it. The water needs the soap to activate the magic.

That's the magic. That's the magic. It's Hall and Oates. All right? You're getting Hall and then you're getting Oates on two different nights. And Kumail's saying,

let's get them together. Let's get Hall and Oates. Let's do it together. All right. All right. Next question. I will say, Emily, too, I do think that what we're, this is Kumail's love language. All right.

Question two. Yes. It's like worrying about your health. Emily, what's the one thing Kumail misses most during quarantine? Wow. I would say the one thing I miss the most during quarantine is eating in restaurants. That's right. Going to restaurants. That's right. Going to restaurants.

Yeah. Wow. With friends. With friends. Or by myself. Or with Camille. Really anybody. Yeah.

Wow. Kind of a dig built into that. All right. Next question. I'm just saying I would do it with a stranger. I would do it with someone I hated. I just want to go to a restaurant again. We were watching a TV show the other day and there were people in restaurants

and Emily started bawling. Just because I miss it. Yeah, I get it. That's so sweet. Next question, Kumail, what's the first restaurant Emily will go to after this pandemic? What restaurant? Well, it's tricky because the one that you would go to, we just got takeout at. That is correct. That's going to be a tough one. Okay. Republic? Yep.

Wow. Republic. Cool. That's cool. You guys know each other. You're married. We're married. Oh, yeah.

I was going to say Jitlada, but that is where we just got takeout. But we had just gotten Jitlada. Jitlada is like Emily's favorite restaurant. We just got. Very safe takeout. Well done, guys. Well done. Well done, Jitlada. Okay. I love that for you. All right. Next question. Emily, how much toilet paper is enough toilet paper in reserve? This is a great question. We have differing opinions on it. We've also had to have a come to Jesus in our house about how much toilet paper we're using in general, I'd say. Wow, that's a tough conversation. That's a tough conversation. Okay, so the question is how much is –

How many rolls do you need in your home to make you feel safe and secure? I would say 12. For me, it's – I just, a dozen, I'm good. A dozen? Are you evil? I know, look at my answer. Not enough, less than the right amount. 12 is not enough.

Less than the right amount. Kumail, that is correct. Yes, it's possible. Isn't it supposed to be about me? Do you drive without a, I don't care. Do you drive without a seatbelt? Like what's your, you are. I like to live on the edge.

I like to live on the edge. Emily's trying to, Emily's trying to quit toilet paper right now. It's her last one. Every rule is her last one. I keep hoping if I go cold turkey, I think it'll be the best way to do it, but I don't know.

All right. Final question. This one is also to Emilyily what is kumail's favorite new muscle on his rippling glistening new body i would say the one you show off the most he doesn't wear a shirt for the most part at this point in our lives uh yeah i would say monstrous i would say your abs you really really like your abs your abs. Oh, okay. Quite a bit. What did you say? I put on the new one that you've been talking about. Your traps?

Mm-hmm. Daddy's got some traps. Oh, my. The new one you've been talking about. I just, you know what it is? You know what it is? As much as you've tried to kill the comedian within, that it's still in there.

It's still in there and screaming. You know, sometimes you see yourself reflected back at you and you don't like what you see. But sometimes you love what you see. Yeah, well, you enabled me, but John has been spitting some truth and he's right. We were on a Zoom with some friends that we hadn't seen in a couple weeks

because, you know, we see each other all the time. And the friend was like, Kumail, what happened to you you you've gotten so much bigger because he has gotten so much bigger in like three weeks and then I started looking at him and I was like oh my god he's got these like little the little like uh like if Popeye was here I don't know what Popeye was here but yeah if Popeye was here. Yeah. But the favorite is the abs. You're right. Yeah. He loves. It's the actual favorite. He does love those abs.

Cool. He loves the abs. Yeah. So do I. Emily. Emily, Kumail, thank you so much. This was so fun. Everybody check out Staying In with Emily and Kumail.

I'm in. This was so entertaining. Thank you both so much. Thank you. Thank you. That was super fun. Thank you. And when we come back, Alex Wagner will help us take some calls from listeners.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Every week we've been doing these closet episodes. We've been calling you, our dear listeners, to learn how you're coping, doping, and hoping through this crisis. For a segment we're calling, Here's My Number, Call Me Gaby. I'm going to introduce you in a moment, but Alex Wagner is here. And I just want Alex to know, before I even introduce her,

that Travis also pitched a name for this segment, which is Cofonavirus. Joining us for this week's call-in segment, she's the host of the Circus on Showtime and a Love It or Leave It returning champion, Alex Wagner. Welcome. Oh, it's so, I mean, this is the only bright spot in a dark, dark, dark month, and it's only April 2nd. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here. Yeah, not really here, but there. So I see you in your home HQ, your studio. How you doing?

We're hanging on, man. Let me tell you, I don't recommend going into lockdown with two children under the age of three. Yeah. But I couldn't do anything about that. So here we are. You may hear the dulcet tones of toddlers in the back behind me. And if you don't, that's good.

We've all won. But we're here. I'm here. I'm using the royal we. That's the point at which we... That's where I am right now. Love it. I'm thrilled to be on the podcast, though.

How are the toddlers at this moment? How is it going? Let me just tell you. I mean, everyone wants this to end because it's horrible. It's a living nightmare. It's brought us to our knees and we're only a few weeks in. But every parent out there needs this to end because I don't think we can survive as professionals, as parents, as parents, as humans,

as Americans, if we have to be in lockdown with children for the foreseeable future. I know we all got ourselves into this mess by procreating, but man, I shouldn't, I should just stop myself there. I'm going to stop myself. It's been tough. It's been tough, John. And like I said, we're surviving. I just want you to know that I that I decided to take a page out of the Barbara Walters playbook there, which is I just stopped talking and just wanted to see what would happen. Let the guest dig her own hole. That's what that was right there. Speaking of the challenges and tribulations facing all sorts of people through this pandemic crisis, this week you launched a new Crooked podcast called Six Feet Apart. We're so excited that you came to us to do this with us.

We're obviously such huge fans of yours, but we really love the idea. Can you just tell people listening what the idea of the podcast is? Yeah. So we are all inundated with a ton of information about what's happening in the wide world of the coronavirus. And a lot of that information tends to trend towards health information, economic information, basic governance information. And that's all super useful, important, urgent material. But what struck me about this moment is that the pandemic is touching every

single part of American culture and society. No one is immune from it, pardon the pun. But I mean, literally, it's reshaping the way we do business, the way we think of ourselves as professionals in the world, the way we think of ourselves as human beings in the world. And nobody was telling those stories. So I was, you know, it was Monday night, literally last week, and I had this sort of like waking fever dream. And I thought, you know, why was Monday night, literally last week, and I had this sort of like waking fever dream. And I thought, you know, why isn't anybody talking to the postal workers or the baseball players or the grocery clerks or the Uber drivers or the babysitters or the prostitutes or the masseuses or the hair and makeup people? There's so many stories out there. And some of them are really heartbreaking and some of them are really funny and some of them are stories of resilience and innovation. And that's what this podcast is. And I called Favreau and I said,

dude, we got to do this. And he was like, oh my God, what time is it where you are? He didn't say that because it's earlier in LA. Nobody knows what time it is on the East Coast. And now it's this week, a week later, and we have a podcast and we just went out live with the first episode and it's all about groceries, something I think everybody can wrap their heads around. But what you get in the podcast is the very different ways in which people are feeding and getting fed and the attitudes they have towards the food system. So hopefully it's a compendium. It is an addendum to the news people are getting, and it's a different sort of human side of the pandemic. Yeah. I mean, I think we're all obviously focused on this one story, but we get a lot

of the same kind of information every day, the kind of political Trump analysis of what's actually happening at the kind of national level. So in the spirit of reaching out and hearing from people, we want to do that today. This week, we want to call Love It or Leave It audience members and ask an equally important question to the ones you're diving into, which is, what are some of the strangest new self-care practices you've been implementing? Alex, are you ready to make some calls? I'm so ready to make some calls. All right, let's go to the phone lines, as they say. Hi, Jeremy. Are you ready for the tagline for this segment? Okay. You're on with John. Are you ready for the tagline for this segment?

Okay. You're on with John. You're also here with Alex Wagner. Jeremy, how you doing? Just living that dream. What is the strangest new form of self-care you've taken on in this stay-at-home moment? I have started to learn the languages of the people that I work with. And so right now that's about eight languages. Nope, 10.

Wow. Jeremy, we've only been under lockdown for a couple of weeks and you're already learning eight to 10 languages? Yeah. I mean, it's kind of been a pet project that I wanted to start when I started getting into social work. But now that I've got all this free time and I've watched all of Netflix, I got done. Wait, you've watched all of Netflix?

He finished Netflix. Like, I've finished it. If there's something on Netflix, I've watched it. Wait, you watched all of Netflix? He finished Netflix. Like, I've finished it. If there's something on Netflix, I've watched it. We're done. What are some of these languages? So right now, I've got Burmese down, so that's good. Well, I'm sorry. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Well, okay, wait. Actually, oh. That's a cocky sentence. I've got Burmese down. Okay, okay. First of all, we can't prove you wrong, I guess Well, actually we can, John Because guess whose mother is from Burma

Alex Wagner Oh my god, that's awesome Mingalaba, baby Oh my god Yeah You know what that means? Do you have it down? What's Booty Jaw?

Booty Jaw? What? Booty Jaw yeah you know what that means yeah do you have it down what's booty jaw booty jaw what booty jaw i don't think you've got it down i don't think you've gotten burmese down if you don't know what i know the entire language dude uh but i'm trying to learn i'm trying to learn like hello goodbye wow what are the chances what are the chances you'd call into the podcast and America's foremost Burmese journalist, which is to say America's maybe only Burmese journalist, would be on the other end of the line? You legit need to brush up on your Burmese, my friend. But I respect the fact that you're trying. It has been two weeks.

Jeremy, Jeremy, I want to tell you something. I feel as though something so unfair and unlucky happened to you, which is you said, I've got Burmese down. Now, the odds that there would have been someone on a Zoom at the very moment you say that could prove that you are a serial exaggerator. I will confess. I exaggerated. I have about like eight to ten phrases of Burmese sounds. So, yes, I very much exaggerated. But I'm only trying to learn like eight to ten phrases of these languages. Yeah, and you've watched three episodes of season three of Ozark. We got you, bro. No, I haven't.

It's okay. I don't watch Ozark. Your enthusiasm means something. Hey, I appreciate it. Ozark's on Netflix. haven't. It's okay. I don't watch Ozark. Your enthusiasm means something. Hey, I appreciate it. Ozark's on Netflix. But anyway. Oh, that's right. Jeremy.

Respect. I respect the enthusiasm. I have a spreadsheet right here. I'm in the middle of working. What's up, guys? Excuse me. Excuse me. This didn't happen to you.

This isn't an accident. We didn't come into your world. So, Jeremy, you said you do social work. Can you tell us a little bit about what you do? Yeah, so I work, I'm a social worker. I've been spending about six years working with the community from Burma, primarily in Southeast Asia.

So right now we're working our best to provide support for the elders in the community. So my job is elder wellness program coordinator. So I've been worried about Corona since January and it's, it's, it's really bad out there. So we're delivering food supplies, getting Medicaid and Medicare set up for them. It's pretty rough here in Aurora and Denver, the navigators that we work with. So those who would like speak the language,

but also understand like English and kind of the cultural brokers, they're just crushing it. They're, they're doing great. So I just kind of hope them facilitate those conversations. What are a couple other languages you're getting some phrases down from? Sagal Karen, which is a tribal language from Burma. Tagalog, Khmer, some Japanese, some Lao, Vietnamese, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Nepali. Those are all independently insane languages. I hope this pandemic does not last long enough for you to master any one of them.

I would love to master all of them, man. That's my superpower if I could have one. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a good way to communicate with my people. Yeah. Well, Jeremy, thank you for the work that you do. I guess to take us out, Alex and Jeremy, would you mind having just a kind of a cordial goodbye in Burmese and we'll leave it there? No, I just want to say, I know I'm giving you a hard time about the language, Jeremy.

I myself do not speak it even conversationally. It is so righteous and awesome that you are helping elder Burmese people in this time of crisis. So I say on behalf of the Burmese diaspora, thank you so much for your work. Keep on fighting the good fight, brother. Thank you. You guys too. I really appreciate it. Bye, Jeremy. Bye, guys.

What a nice guy. Dude, what are the chances of that? What are the chances? That was insane. You're like, we can't call you on that. Oh, but maybe we can. I mean, that's such a specific, specific coincidence. I've got Burmese down.

Incredible. Love that dude, though. Love that dude. All right, let's get somebody else on the blower. Hi. Who do we have here? Who are you? I'm Chrissy, and this is Greg.

Good evening. Hi, Chrissy and Greg. You're on with John. I can't get it out. Just straight. Chrissy and Greg, you're also on with Alex Wagner. You know her, you love her. She's also the host of the new Crooked Pod, Six Feet Apart. We are calling to ask you, what is the strangest new self-care act, behavior you've implemented during this lockdown? I didn't realize it was that kind of show. It's not. Okay.

I don't want to hear it. Greg, first of all, you're an interloper. I'm glad to have you, but we were calling Chrissy. Chrissy, what, I'm talking to you now because he's got, Greg's got jokes. Yeah. What is the self-care that you are doing to get you through this crisis? So we kind of mooshed off of our friend Erin, but she started this new trend on Instagram called the hashtag quarantine beer of the day.

So we've been drinking every single night a special snooty craft beer that we stocked up on before all this shit went down in preparation for Doomsday. I think tonight we're prepping to drink a lovely gingerbread saison. Very nice. What's a Saison? It's a beer that's like fruity. Yeah. And weedy. A weedy, fruity beer. Yeah. Listen, I just like lightish. I like beer that doesn't taste like beer. Yeah. I have a kind of a practical

question, Chrissy. Are you, you're literally trying a new beer every day of this pandemic? Yes. So like how many beers have you gone through and how many beers do you have? Cause that seems like a lot of beer. It's a lot of beer. We're in our third week. Well, we're, we're, we're like 18 or 19 at this point. Yeah. Yeah. We're three weeks in. Are you logging this? Like, how do you remember? I don't know about you,

but when I drink alcohol under the auspices of trying new things out, I never recall what it is that I consumed or what I thought about it. All right. The question, I'm sorry. I just want to, I just want to make sure it's clear. The question she's asking is,

are you a logger logger? No, go back. Sorry. I'm going to, The question she's asking is, are you a lager lager? No. Go back. Sorry, I'm going to, I'll leave. Alex, just keep going. Question. More of a comment. I only, when I order a beer at a bar, I say, give me the thing you have that's closest to Miller Lite.

Of course. One of those. What do you mean, of course? That's like saying, can I have water? Listen, I know how much Lovett cares about, you know, his health. Don't. You know, his Noom. Zoom.

Zoom. Noom? No, this is a Zoom, but it is Noom. I know. Yes, you're right. You're right. Noom. This is a Zoom now.

It's a Zoom about Noom. I don't judge you for eating all of those Hershey nuggets, though. I would have done the same thing. Thank you for not judging me. I would have done the same thing. Thank you for not judging me. I would have done the same exact thing. Do they have different types of Malort? Is that something you could do?

I don't know if there's more than just the one kind of Malort, but I only drink Malort on stage in Chicago. That's the only place I find it delicious. What part of the country are you in? We're in New York City. You're in New York City. What borough? We're in Queens.

We're in Queens. We're in Queens. Long Island City. So we're right off the 59th Street Bridge. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Are you working from home? What's happening with your, what's your day like? So I am working from home. It's busy as hell. I work for a TV channel. I work for Viacom. Seems like you made it up. Seems like that's a lie that you just made up. No. So we're really, really busy. And then he is also working from home. He works for a news company.

So he's essential. I have a badge and a piece of paper to prove it. I was just going to say, I, too, actually work for CBS Viacom. The news never stops. So my question to you guys is, at what point does the beer start? Usually, like, after dinner. We've been pretty responsible about it. It's usually like after dinner, like about an episode or two of Schitt's Creek into things. We'll decide. We're responsible about it. You know, we're not like, we're not going ham because also you have

to reserve your stash. We don't know how long this thing's going to last. How big is the stash? We've got like maybe 13. 13 beers left? To try. To try. Like cans. But we stock up. We got a new delivery and a lot of the breweries around the area are doing local deliveries, taking advantage of that, trying to support local business. I just, I do like the idea that you're getting drunk every night to support local commerce through this crisis. Also to learn more about craft beer. It's what you have to do.

We're selfless. We're really being selfless here. We're sacrificing. Greg, Chrissy, thank you so much. It's so nice to meet you. Hang in there. It's now, I guess it's 730 Eastern, so it's Cezanne o'clock. Cezanne o'clock, exactly.

Cezanne 31. Yeah. Great job, Greg. Thank you. Thank you. You set the bar so high before. Bye bye leave meetings that's how you do it that is how you do it i like them all right should we do one more yeah hi morgan hi you're on with john as we say uh you're also on with alex, the host of Crooked's brand new podcast, Six Feet Apart.

How are you doing? I'm great. How are you? Hi, Alex. Hi, Morgan. We are calling to find out what strange new self-care you have employed to get you through this pandemic. We are a family of four.

I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old, and my husband's here. So we've all kind of found our own genre of self-care, I guess. My personal one is Hallmark movies. I don't like conflict of any kind and there's a lot of it right now. that I can easily lull into peacefulness before I go to sleep. And my son is five and he is now taken to daily bubble baths in my room. He locks the door and goes in and practice the swimming, make beards with his bubbles. And my daughter watched Frozen for the first time two weeks before we were shelter in place. And she's three and she really likes to sing. So we literally act out every scene from Frozen all day long. So I want to hand it over to Alex because she, before you came on, was speaking in stark relief

about having two young children during this time. I would say that with a tenor that at first was kind of charming in how dark it was, but increasingly became quite worrying. But before we go to that, my question is, what is it about Frozen? Kids, particularly girls. My Instagram is filled with my friends' daughters dancing to Frozen constantly. This thing's got a hold of our youth. What is it about Frozen that made it so engrossing?

I have no idea. I have no idea. Little Mermaid's my favorite. I've tried to get her to watch Little Mermaid. My husband loves Cinderella. She won't watch any of those, but for whatever reason, she has latched on to Frozen. And of course she loves Elsa. So that's the one I always have to honor, which loves Elsa. So that's the one I always have to be on, which is fine. Morgan, I have a three-year-old, an almost three-year-old and an 11-month-old. Yeah. And we've been, you know, we've been trying to limit screen time. And of course, all of that flew out the window as soon as lockdown began. And my afternoons are filled with trying to hook my child on Disney Pixar movies. And none of them have taken.

I mean, Toy Story 1, 2, WALL-E, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory. Do you have any advice for parents who are trying to get their children addicted to a movie? Because I'd like to do that. What a question. My advice is actually not a movie. My kids love the PBS Kids app because they can control the side. So it's almost like their own YouTube, but it's PBS Kids. So you know what they're watching is going to be pure for the most part.

But anyway, they love that they can scroll on the sides. They can switch the episodes. It's really intuitive for a three-year-old. So that's my suggestion is a PBS Kids app. You can get it for your phone or tablet. That is a fantastic suggestion. And I may survive another two weeks because of it. Oh, well, from your lips to God's ears, right? Exactly. One final question for you, Morgan. Don't you think the message of Little Mermaid is so bad that we probably should not let any person, maybe under 25, ever see it ever again. It's pretty bad, but the music is wonderful.

I know. Under the sea, love it? Under the sea? But it's the story of a girl who falls in love with someone she hasn't met. She hasn't met him, really. And her goal is to change herself and not have a voice so that he'll kiss her. Well, when you put it that way. All because of an evil drag queen. I mean, it's a strange, strange little tale.

Morgan, self-care techniques aside, how are you doing? What are your days like? Are you working from home? Are you just taking care of the kids? Are you having to go work? What's the situation? Yeah. So my husband and I are both work from home. He's a federal attorney for the National Labor Relations Board. So they're all work from home indefinitely. And I run a small nonprofit in High Point. So we're just an online blog. So we just we work from home too. And everything. And how's it been going? It's been interesting. My parents and my husband's parents only watch the kids for us. So they are missing the kids and they want so badly to come over and they don't understand that we're trying to protect them. They still go out to the grocery store and do all the crazy things that you're not supposed to do. So, um, we're just hunkered down and, and do grocery pickup and that's about it.

Morgan, thank you for joining us. Hang in there. Stay strong, sister. Yes, you too. And thank you for being a bright spot in my day. Whenever I exercise, I get to listen to Crooked Media podcast. And Alex, I can't wait to hear you do podcasts. Thank you. Thank you, Morgan. Yeah. Bye, guys. All right. That is our call-in segment. We took three incredible calls. I want to thank everybody for sending their suggestions. And just for all of you listening at home, I will say we received an extraordinary number of two new self-care techniques. One was taking walks and the other was Animal Crossing.

And as someone who has a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist playing Animal Crossing right now, I salute you. Alex, thank you so much for joining us for these calls. Remember, everybody, subscribe to the new Crooked podcast, Six Feet Apart with Alex Wagner, wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, John. When we come back, we'll be joined by attorney and advocate Saru Jayaraman to talk about what's facing restaurant workers and the changes needed not only during this crisis, but beyond. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. She's an author, activist, and president of the labor rights group One Fair Wage. Please welcome back to Love It or Leave It, Saru Jayaraman. Thanks for having me. Welcome back. You know, at Crooked, we've been raising money for One Fair Wage through our Coronavirus Relief Fund. Can you tell people what One Fair Wage is and what it's advocating for right now? Sure. I think it's important, if it's okay, to take a step back before coronavirus. It's interesting how coronavirus is laying bare so many of the problems in our society and economy prior to coronavirus.

So just a minute of where we were prior. You know, the restaurant industry is one of the largest and fastest growing private sector employers in the United States. We almost hit the 14 million worker mark before coronavirus. And even beyond the restaurant industry, so many other service and tipped sectors of our economy, nail salon workers, car wash workers, Uber, Lyft, and Instacart, DoorDash workers. All of these workers tipped and relying on the fluctuating nature of tips to survive and feed their families. In the restaurant industry and with a couple of other industries, these workers actually received

a sub-minimum wage of just $2.13 an hour at the federal level. It's a literal legacy of slavery, this absurdly low wage, and it's a source of terrible sexual harassment for a majority female workforce. These were workers who before coronavirus, many of them are single mothers, would tell us, I get tips at the restaurant. I call it living tip to mouth because they would say, I get tips at the restaurant. I use that to feed my kids. My meal comes from going to work. When I go to work, I eat family meal. That's how I eat. But the tips are to feed my kids. And so you can imagine living on a $2 wage plus tips, getting laid off. And now you're talking about an industry of 14 million. We estimate that four or 5 million have already lost their jobs and another seven or eight million are teetering on the brink.

If you were living like that, tip to mouth, until the 13th, which is when a lot of New York and California restaurant workers lost their jobs, maybe you had a little bit of tips left over to feed your kids. Come Monday the 16th, you have absolutely nothing. Monday the 16th, you have absolutely nothing. The vast majority of these workers are ineligible for unemployment insurance, either because of their immigration status or because they actually just didn't work enough hours in the restaurant or enough time in the restaurant to qualify for unemployment insurance. The very small minority of those that are eligible for unemployment insurance, it's measured on a $2 wage plus tips or a subminimum wage plus tips, which is nothing. Particularly if you got cash tips, unemployment is not going to be a real

measure of what you earn. And so it's not going to be survival wages at all. I think we're going to be seeing depression era levels of starvation at this point. So what is One Fair Wage doing right now to help those people? We're doing, I would say, three different things. One is that we've launched this fund, and thank you so much to Crooked Media for supporting it and for raising money for it. We launched the fund on Monday, March 16th. We've hit almost 100,000 workers who've applied for relief. We're getting checks or PayPal or Venmo payments out to them as quickly as we possibly can. We're doing amounts of $213 per person, which may not sound like very much, but for a single mom working at IHOP in Indiana, it's enough to get groceries for her

kids for a couple of weeks or a month until hopefully some other help kicks in or we're able to do another round of payments. So we deeply appreciate everybody who's given to that fund. We've lined up an army of 500 volunteers to call through that list of 100,000 and organize those folks to screen for need, to organize them into One Fair Wage and to register them to vote and to organize them into big teletown halls. We're doing a huge teletown hall with Senator Kamala Harris on Tuesday. We're doing more with other legislators after that because it's time to lift up these workers' voices and say, you know what, we're in trouble now, but this is not the way it ever should have been.

We should have been getting a livable wage that would have allowed us to save or get more unemployment insurance now. So that's one strand of what we're doing. The second strand of what we're doing is talking to legislators and policymakers and saying, A, unemployment insurance should not be measured on a $2 wage or a $3 or $4 wage. We should just assume everybody got 15 with tips on top, and we should make it universal for everybody because that's what we need right now. We're also fighting for our paid leave and all of those things. But one of the pieces I really want to highlight that we're fighting for is a piece that I think is so important to think about right now. I think it's important for all of us to think about nothing is going to be the same. Nothing is

going to be the same after coronavirus. You know, we can't go back and nor do we want to go back, frankly, to where we were prior to coronavirus, because it was a system that didn't work. And so what kind of an industry, what kind of an economy do we want post coronavirus is the question. And so what we've been fighting for is that any future relief that's going to businesses should require or if you can't get it to require, at least incentivize companies moving to 15 and a full minimum wage with tips on top. Let's make sure that the relief in this moment actually changes the future. And so we're talking to Congress members and state legislatures to say, if you're going to be doing more tax relief, rent relief, or even cash relief, loans or grants to small businesses, to large businesses, to any business, let's have it tied to a $15 minimum

wage with tips on top. So we don't end up in the same place that we are right now. So when you came on Love It or Leave It two years ago, we were talking about the need to move away from the tipped minimum wage to just a standard minimum wage across the board. And one of the questions I asked you then, which is, these are really incredibly important steps that would help people right now. But all of this is built on the tip that requires people to, as you said, be vulnerable to sexual harassment, to basically earn their salary by kind of dealing with the generous and the ungenerous and trying to kind of wring as much out of this broken system. What are some of the steps that you're advocating for in this relief bill at the state level, at the local level, that can help move towards a more equitable, sustainable system

that moves away from this fundamental sort of tip economy? It's so heartbreaking to me. I live in California. California is one of seven states that has a full minimum wage for everybody with tips on top. So when $15 minimum wage passed in California, it was for everybody, tipped and non-tipped, and tips are on top of that. And that was true in Seattle. That was true in the seven states that have one fair wage, California, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Montana, and Alaska. Now in the 43 states, including New York and Massachusetts and DC, all these blue states, progressive states even, that have a subminimum wage for tipped workers, servers, bartenders, bussers, delivery workers who get that subminimum wage, nail salon, car wash workers who get that subminimum wage in those 43 states, are now going to get unemployment insurance at one-fifth or one-sixth or one-seventh the rate of their counterparts in California doing the exact same jobs. So a server, bartender,

car wash worker in California would have gotten a $15 plus tips on top. Unemployment insurance is measured on that. That same worker in New Mexico or Arizona next door or across the country in Massachusetts or New York is going to get a fraction of that because our system is so messed up because these workers in these other states never had what workers in California do. And so, I mean, it seems so ridiculously reasonable. And in this moment, I can't tell you the number of even employers who've come to us and said, you were right and we were wrong on this issue, because they're seeing the destitution of these workers the next day that have nothing, nothing to live on and that are screwed and that are getting a fifth of what the workers in California are getting for the same job. So a

more equitable system would simply be for the country and Congress to follow what California and the seven states already do, which is say tips are too variable. They need to be an extra or a bonus as they were always intended to be from feudal times. That's what a tip was. They're not ever intended to be the wage itself. Making it the wage itself is why you've got now literally millions of people who I think you're going to see in the streets looking for food for their kids. Do you think it's possible in the next wave of relief that may come out of Congress to help workers who are tipped workers get the level of unemployment insurance that they need? Do you think that's a possibility? Is that a political possibility to you? unemployment insurance that they need? Do you think that's a possibility? Is that a political possibility to you? Well, actually, we did have a big victory with the last package,

that in terms of the federal relief that's going to be from package three, unemployment insurance is going to be $600 for everybody across the board, regardless of that tip minimum wage. It's the state unemployment insurance that you might get on top of that, that's going to be so widely variant and so much less for tipped workers than for everybody else. So at the federal level, I have to give thanks to Senator Gary Peters, who did that from Michigan. He's been working on unemployment for a long time. They did actually make sure the federal package out of package three did include everybody at a standard rate. What we need now in package

four is rather than bailing out all these huge companies, restaurant companies for practically nothing with no strings attached, what we need to see in package four is some strings attached. What we need to see in package four is that companies are required in package four that the way they get relief is by committing to 15 and one fair wage going forward. We need as the left to put a stake in the ground and say, we're never ever going back. You can't go back to where we were because it didn't work. Even Andrew Cuomo, like a day or two ago said, there is no going back to normal. It's we're going to a new normal. Even Fast Company, this publication had an article titled, The Impossible is Now Possible, because companies

are suddenly starting to realize that what we had before didn't work. And so the way that we as the left need to put that stake in the ground and say, we're not going back, is to say, if there is going to be relief right now, it's got to be future forward relief. It's got to be relief that says the new economy we're going to see after coronavirus is going to be different. It has to be different. We demand that it be different. And we're not going to provide relief unless it is different. One more question on this.

You know, I think a lot of people right now who are staying at home, they're using these, you know, you've talked about these inequities in the restaurant industry, rather than diminishing them. We've actually kind of taken that model and we've moved it to Uber, to Instacart, to other gig economy companies. Separate issue, but Amazon and how it treats its workers has been an incredibly important issue. But there's a lot of people right now using those services, and they want to know how they can do so morally or sort of in line with their progressive values. Do you think right now it is possible to use Instacart, to use Uber, to use Lyft, to use these services in a way that comports with the values you're trying to represent? I would not say to stop using those because those workers do need their jobs.

There's some of what's left of the service economy that still has jobs and they want to keep their jobs. They just want their jobs to provide dignity and hazard pay and a livable wage and all of those things. And so I think the moral thing to do is to use those services, but to continue to demand as customers to push on the companies to do the right thing and providing hazard pay and protective pay and protective equipment, I'm sorry, and more sick time than what they're currently, they're currently saying two weeks of sick time if you can provide a doctor's note. That's for people we're using right now, Instacart, DoorDash, Uber, Lyft. You know, we need to demand that these companies protect these workers, that they treat them like employees, which they are,

that they treat them with dignity and keep the pressure on to companies, especially like DoorDash and Instacart, which had until last year, a policy of saying, if you tip, we will cut that from our workers, delivery workers payment, which is an exact copy of what's happening in the restaurant industry for the last 150 years. So you're right, we need to stop it from spreading. We need to demand across the board that these workers get a full minimum wage with tips on top. And frankly, you could do that in the restaurant industry as much as you can in any industry. As consumers, we can voice our concerns in the same way we leave a message saying, I didn't like my chicken, or I wasn't pleased with this. we can leave a message saying, I want to make sure this worker is paid a livable wage and gets hazard pay and protective equipment, and that tips are not discounted from their payment. And that goes the same for restaurants. I talked about this with Kara Swisher, who's been covering this from the tech side and covering

these companies. And the Uber CEO comes out and says, please, please, in this relief package, comes out and says, please, please, in this relief package, treat Uber's contractors like employees, make sure they have those benefits. So do you think that these kinds of admissions in these moments will have an impact in the policymaking going forward? That is exactly my point, is they don't want it to, but we can make it so. The fact that the federal government said $600 for everybody, tipped workers, Instacart workers, DoorDash workers, Uber Lyft drivers, $600 per week for everybody for unemployment insurance. That is a recognition by the government that all of these people

should have gotten a full fair minimum wage as employees of their employer with tips on top of that. That is a recognition that that is what should have been happening all along. And we need to take that recognition, that $600, and say, we are never, ever going back. We're never going back to a subminimum wage. We're never going back to independent contractor status for millions of workers who are employees. You've now admitted that these workers are employees who deserve a full minimum wage with tips on top. Therefore, that's how we want to see policy going forward.

And you know on the other side they're going to say, oh, we've been struggling through this crisis. We can't pay more. How could you ask us to pay more? We've just gone through a crisis. Well, gosh darn it, so have millions and millions and millions of workers. And suddenly America, it seems like, has woken up to the fact that we would not survive without these workers. We wouldn't have restaurants without these workers. And suddenly America, it seems like, has woken up to the fact that we would not survive without these workers. We wouldn't have restaurants without these workers. We wouldn't get from place to place. We wouldn't have groceries without these workers. We rely on

these workers. They are everyday heroes. They deserve to be treated as the professionals that they are. And clearly now there's been an admission by the CEOs and by the government that they deserve to be paid a full, fair, livable minimum wage with tips on top. What is the website people can go to to give directly to One Fair Wage for getting money directly into the hands of people who need it? It's www.ofwemergencyfund.org. OFW like One Fair Wage. OFWemergencyfund.org. O-F-W like one fair wage. O-F-W emergencyfund.org. You can both donate and 100% of your donation will go to these service workers. You can also click to volunteer. We're desperate

for volunteers to help us call these hundreds of thousands of workers and not only get them cash, but get them in Vitella town halls to speak directly to their congresspeople, get them to register to vote because clearly this is about change. It is about our political power and demanding that change post-crisis. You can also find One Fair Wage through the Crooked Coronavirus Relief Fund. It's in there too. That's at crooked.com slash coronavirus. And you can give to the whole fund or you can give directly to One Fair Wage and help support these workers as well. Saru, Jayaraman, thank you for your advocacy. Thank you for being here. Hope you're doing okay and holding it together while doing all this advocacy from, I assume, your home. I know. It's crazy times. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it.

When we come back, we'll end on a high note. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. As the days tick by in our new reality, it's often easy to look past the good that's going on in the world. So we have been crowdsourcing our High Note each week, and here it is, this week's High Note. Hi, my name's Ari. I'm calling in from Oakland, California. I'm disabled, and I've been self-isolating since early March, so I've been doing that since before it was cool.

And my high note relates to the Disability Justice Culture Club here in Oakland, which has been doing amazing work creating mutual aid networks in which able-bodied volunteers go out of their way to help support those of us who really cannot leave our homes because we are high risk or susceptible. I've had volunteers through this network bring me groceries, drive me to medical appointments, and express such amazing and profound love and care in this very difficult time. Hi, Joan. This is Emily, and I'm calling from Miami, Florida. One thing that's really given me hope at this time is that just prior to all the social distancing and quarantining is that I shared my feelings with a good friend, and I was shocked when she felt the same. So,

we've started dating during this global pandemic. It really helped me bring just such joy and continue to see a world on the other side. Hi, I love it. My name is Sophia. I'm from Austin, Texas. My high note of the week was that after Dan Patrick said that grandparents would be willing to die for the economy, I called my very liberal grandmother, and she said, that's not on my list. I hope that makes someone else laugh, because it made me laugh pretty hard. Anyways, thanks for all you do. Big fan. Stay safe. Hi, this is Nicole from North Carolina, and the thing that is giving me hope and joy today is that North Carolina just allowed online voter registration. And I know it's

a tiny thing. But I am so excited and literally started crying when I got an email about it. And thank you all so much for everything you do. Love all the shows. Have a good day. Bye. Thanks to everybody who called in. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at 424-341-4193. It is 213 days until the election. You can sign up for Vote Save America right now. Thank you to Alex Wagner, Emily Gordon, Kumail Nanjiani, Saru Jayaraman, and everyone we spoke to on the phones.

Thank you to our grocery workers, truck drivers, delivery people. Thank you to our doctors and nurses. And thank you to our whole staff working to keep this show going out and Crooked going strong. Have a great night. Love It or Leave It is a product of Crooked Media. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, Elisa Gutierrez, Lee Eisenberg, and our head writer, former Mike Bloomberg speechwriter, Travis Helwig. Jocelyn Kaufman, Alicia Carroll,

and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our audio editor, and Stephen Colon is our sound engineer. Sydney Rapp is our assistant producer, and August Dichter is our intern. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Jamie Skeel, for creating and running all of our visuals,

which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, Nar Melkonian and Yale Freed, for filming and editing video each week so you can.