Lovett or Leave It - Mayors Unmasked!

Episode Date: February 5, 2022

Mayors are revealing their faces and people are pissed! This week, the pod at Pundit’s palace welcomes Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451 (Marcella Arguello), who explains the real danger of banning books; Jason Concepcion expands his mind to contemplate the Joe Rogan-verse; and Tesla critic Sean Crepe (Andrew Farmer) gets taken for a ride in one of Elon’s finest, while we close out another chilly outdoor show huddled around a scorching Rant Wheel for heat.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else. Coming to you live from my backyard during a period of the pandemic where the future ambassador to India is just holding his breath and hoping he doesn't give Magic Johnson COVID. We have got a great show. A fireman has escaped the pages of Fahrenheit 451 and has some thoughts on the rise of book banning in this free nation. A Tesla critic is here to critique Tesla, as he is wont to do. Crooked's own Jason Concepcion enters the Roganverse at his own peril. And we end with a rant wheel because we adore saying, no need to reinvent the wheel.

But first, let's get into it. What a week. Mike Pence is chief of staff. Mike Short testified in front of the January 6th committee last week. They were going to have multiple people testify, but they were one Mike Short. And that's our show. I want to thank everybody for coming out. On Sunday, Donald Trump teased that he could hypothetically pardon January 6th rioters

if he's re-elected in 2024, locking down the elusive people-who-already-went-to-prison-for-me vote. Trump also encouraged his followers to engage in the biggest protest we have ever had if investigations in New York and Georgia find wrongdoing on his part. You are all going to be screaming at a Dunkin' Donuts cashier anyway for asking you to wear a mask, let our powers combine, and let's treat our democracy like a tired cashier who just wants to go home. According to National Archives staff,

some of the documents Trump handed over regarding January 6th had been ripped apart and needed to be pieced back together. In his defense, that's just because Trump couldn't finish the maze on the back. I was going to joke about his getting McDonald's fry grease all over his papers, but my cards are practically translucent right now. Laura Ingalls Wilder could use them in her windows instead of glass. All right, that's a reference to Little House on the Prairie and how sort of in that time, glass was hard to come by.

You'd use something, maybe leather or something kind of tanned, something kind of greasy, because you couldn't have glass. Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote Little House on the Prairie, famously adapted to a TV show in the 80s when that was the kind of thing that could become popular because there was only four channels. Lindsey Graham and Donald Trump are at it again with Trump calling Graham a rhino during a Tuesday Newsmax appearance after the congressman shot down the idea of issuing a pardon to January 6th rioters. Graham being a rhino would explain why Graham pays hot guys to perch on his back and eat gnats out of his thick gray hide. And that's our show. Thank you all for

being here. On Wednesday, President Biden announced the relaunch of the administration's Cancer Moonshot initiative, declaring, let's end cancer as we know it. Coming soon, protesters shouting, my carcinoma, my choice. According to The Guardian, billionaire Republican donor and Home Depot co-founder Ken Langone gave the maximum allowed donation to Joe Manchin for helping Tank build back better, declaring, thank God for Joe Manchin. I don't know about you, but I'm never setting foot in a Home Depot again. So I hope they like losing my business. $20 for mailbox numbers once.

Their bromance isn't exactly new. In November, Langone told CNBC about Manchin. I'm going to have one of the biggest fundraisers I've ever had for him. He's special. He's precious. He's a great American, said Langone on the roof of a Home Depot, holding a nail gun, pointing it at day laborers looking for work in the parking lot, imagining what it would feel like to pull the trigger. Whoopi Goldberg apologized for saying the Holocaust wasn't about race during a conversation about the Tennessee school banning arts. See Goldman's mouse on The View. Said Goldberg's statement, which he posted to Twitter,

on today's show, I said the Holocaust is not about race, but it's about man's inhumanity to man. I should have said it's about both. It's a brutal, brutal walk back. Whereas if you ask Republicans, it's about asking baby boomers to put a mask on. Anyway, Whoopi's still got a two two week suspension for some reason, which is weird because she made a mistake in a kind of dumb way. But then she apologized. Seems like that should have been the end of it. But no, she gets a two week suspension.

Meanwhile, I actually think there's a connection between Rudy being on The Masked Singer and Whoopi getting a two week suspension because like corporations are just cowardly. Like they're not acting on like values, like, pure reaction and pure cowardice. And so whether it's deciding to let the Whoopi thing go or deciding it's okay to have an insurrectionist on your channel, there's nobody who's, like, an adult who's, like, I have an ethical view. I have a moral opinion I'd like to express in this Zoom. Doesn't seem to happen. Oh, and right, on The Masked Singer, Rudy Giuliani was the surprise reveal, at which point Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke walked off while Nicole Scherzinger and Jenny McCarthy stayed to shoot the shit with the anti-American pro-authoritarian legal bozo.

If this turns out to be a Susan Boyle situation, I'm gonna be fucking furious. Anyway, Rudy wasn't even supposed to reveal himself. He just had to get some air because he puked in his helmet. My understanding is actually Rudy wasn't even supposed to reveal himself. He just had to get some air because he puked in his helmet. My understanding is actually Rudy wasn't even supposed to be at the show. He was just passing by in his reverse hazmat suit. Reverse hazmat suits contain yourself. Mayor of Los Angeles Eric Garcetti defended his decision to take a maskless selfie with Magic Johnson at last week's Rams game. When people asked for a photograph, I hold my breath, Garcetti told reporters. There is...

Okay. All right. There is, okay, all right. There's a 0% chance of infection from that. That is a real live, I didn't inhale. In the wild, unironically, 30 years since Bill Clinton was on Arsenio Hall, 30 years later, I didn't inhale. Garcetti let her qualify, I held my breath because I was on the edge of my seat. I couldn't wait to find out if I didn't inhale. Garcetti letter qualified, I held my breath because I was on the edge of my seat. I couldn't wait to find out if I killed Magic Johnson. Gavin Newsom and San Francisco Mayor London Reed

were also snapped maskless in the same suite at the game despite mandatory mask use indoors except while eating or drinking. Just do what I do. If you have one almond in your cheek, you're always technically eating. On an unrelated note, would anyone like one almond? There was this little consortium that got together to figure out what to do with nuclear waste over a very long time horizon.

And nuclear waste is going to be dangerous long after our civilization is gone. So you need some way of signaling to future human beings who have no access to our culture whatsoever, perhaps primitive, perhaps just in the early stages of their own development, to let them know that what's contained in this space is dangerous. And you can't use words and you can't use symbols. And so there was this group of people that got together and thought, how do we signal to these future people to not go past here? And so there was lots of like kind of symbols of bones, a lot of spikes facing outward, just sort of discouraging spikes, pictures of dead people all getting closer and closer to the center where the nuclear waste would be stored. I bring this up because I think we should put this headline into some kind of a capsule in a space like that for future generations, because it is two headlines on top of each other.

like that for future generations because it is two headlines on top of each other. The first is, unmasking of Rudy Giuliani on Masked Singer prompts two judges to walk off in protest, combined with L.A. Mayor Garcetti says he held his breath for maskless photo with Magic Johnson. I believe this fundamentally represents our two political parties, maybe better than anything in the last, say, 30 to 40 years. I capture something essential about why our society did ultimately end. And I love it.

Kanye West posted a written statement on Instagram declaring, my focus is on building real products in the real world, real food, real clothes, real shelter. Do not ask me to do a fucking NFT. Ask me later. I love that. First of all, you know your movement has a problem

when kanye says this is too much bullshit even for me it's sort of like rudy giuliani saying won't this appear somewhat undignified um and i also like that he loves his options open i think that that's cool too a giant bunny lost a salad eating contest to competitive eater reina huang the contest was set up to finally settle the debate once and for all which is bigger a human Also, it's not a contest. It's not a contest if only one person is in a contest. That rabbit is not in a contest. That rabbit is not competing. It's just eating.

It doesn't know that there's anything to be gained by going quickly. You can't golf against somebody who doesn't know they're playing golf. Tandaway Newton called Sean Penn a gibbering fool following recent comments from the actor. Comments like, I am in the club that believes that men in American culture have become wildly feminized and there are a lot of, I think, cowardly genes that lead people to surrender their genes and put on a skirt. Men used to be men, said Sean Penn, pretending to be a cop while wearing makeup and eyeshadow at a table covered in cookies. Nothing's wrong with any

aspect of that. Also, what a clumsy little sentence that goes from jeans to jeans, aware of it, but not like rhythmic at all. Hurts the ear. Hurts the ear. CNN president Jeff Zucker resigned due to not disclosing a consensual relationship with a close colleague, which is how I heard Wolf Blitzer was off the market. And finally, what a tease. And finally, big football boy Tom Brady officially retired after 22 years in the NFL. 22 years, now that's something to kiss your son on the mouth about. When we come back, where there's smoke, there's book burning. And we're back. My next guest is a fireman.

Please welcome to the stage, Guy Montag. Welcome. Yes! Well, welcome, Guy Montag. Thanks for being here and thanks for fighting all those fires. You're welcome, John. Oh, wow. Okay. But I don't put out fires.

There's no need for that in my dystopian future for some reason. I use fire to fight ideas. Ideas in the form of books. I'm a book burner, John. And I hate it because I am a hero. And I get it. You're the guy from Fahrenheit 451. My name is Guy, yes.

So you must be here to talk about how in McKinnon County, Tennessee, a school board unanimously voted to ban Mouse, the Pulitzer-winning graphic novel about the Holocaust. What? I hadn't heard about that. There's no mice in the future, either. No, no, no, John. I've come to deliver a grave warning about cancel culture. Oh, come on. What?

You literally... All right. Okay. Here we go. In your society, effort to avoid being triggered by critical thinking, you are transforming America into a giant safe space that can result in only one thing. Big flamethrower guys like me burning all the books. Guy.

Guy. Please, keep your futuristic pants on. Help me understand this. What books are you talking about if not the one that Republicans are literally trying to ban? John! Yep? You're being what we in the future would call a dumbass. The books are a metaphor.

For what? Tweets! Oh, no. That's why our brave Senator Josh Hawley introduced the Ending Support for Internet Censorship Act. It's why your brilliant representative Paul Gasol introduced the Stop the Censorship Act. Big Tech is censoring tweets, which, if you ask me, are the real books. The tweets are the real books. Okay, just want to make sure I have this right.

You're more bothered by private companies enforcing their terms of service than you are about the literal government removing kids' access to literal books. Yes, of course. I ask you, John, who are the real Nazis here? The people who are banning books about Nazis? Or the people who want to kick Nazis off of social media just like the Nazis wanted to do.

I don't have the energy to parse that question, to be honest, guy. I win. Oh. I win. Okay. This is a debate and I win. Uh-huh.

Hey, John, pop quiz. Okay. Pop quiz, John. Yep. Are you ready? Uh-huh. Tell me one other thing about my character. Oh, your character, Guy Montag from Fahrenheit 451.

Firemen who burn books. I cannot. I have never read the book. Of course you can, John! You haven't even read Fahrenheit 451. You start 30 books a year and finish two on vacation. Don't even read the epilogue. It's getting kind of specific and personal.

Face it. Tweets are the new books, and books are the new nothing. Oh, my God. That is tough to hear. Jokes aside, Guy. You know what? You're right.

Thank you. I win again. I win again. You've won again, and you're right. All of the classics are either violent, morally complicated, deal with race and sex, or are extremely gay. Or if you're lucky, they're all of the above. Shout out to James

Baldwin's Giovanni's Room, which I also haven't read. It's also so much easier to ban books when you don't have to give a fuck about your kids having a nuanced understanding of the world, like, let alone giving a fuck about having any kind of understanding of it as an adult.

Sometimes I live through a book, but it's, like, impossible to read faster than fire. Yep. I think you're right. I think fire is a famously fast reader of books. Really burns through those books. John, very fast. Very fast reader, fire.

Can't beat a fire. Fire will win every time. Interestingly, I just found out Mouse has shot to the top of the Amazon bestseller list thanks to the attempt to ban it. So people do read, but only if you tell them not to. And I don't really know what to do with that, except wondering where it leaves us. It leaves me with the greatest challenge yet. How to destroy audiobooks.

How do you burn sound, John? How do... A real pickle. How do you burn sound? Looks like we're all out of time. I enjoy the future. It's as bad as Ray Bradbury predicted. Who's that?

Jesus, John. Guy Montag, everybody. Thank you so much, Marcella. Marcella will be at the Punchline in San Francisco February 16th and 19th. Marcella Arguello, everybody. She'll be back for the Rat Wheel.

When we come back, we experience the Joe Rogan experience. Yay! Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Joe Rogan, the insanely successful and jacked podcaster, has been feeling the heat recently, which makes sense as the sun is only four miles above the earth, or at least that's what I learned on the Joe Rogan experience. Happy to host politician, scientist, and anti-vaxxer to life, Joe Rogan was forced to issue a statement Monday after catching flack for hosting COVID grifters, cardiologist Dr. Peter McCullough, and virologist Dr. Robert Malone, who, among other wild allegations, have suggested that hospitals are falsely claiming patient deaths are caused by COVID-19 for profit.

patient deaths are caused by COVID-19 for profit. After Rogan's statement, musicians like Neil Young and Joni Mitchell moved their music from Spotify, which hosts Rogan's podcast and is possibly the platform you are listening to this on right now. Here to discuss the ins and outs and ivermectin of it all, please welcome Crooked's own Jason Concepcion. Hi, Jason. Welcome. Welcome.

Hi, how are you? Thank you for having me. Thanks for being here. Good to have you back. Returning champion. Of what? Am I a champion? Of this having me. Thanks for being here. Good to have you back. Returning champion. Of what? Am I a champion? Of this.

Oh, awesome. That's good news. And we've also lifted our five-time limit, so you can come as many times as you want. That's really great. You're looking shredded, John. Your biceps are huge. Has anybody said that lately? I'm being dead serious, though.

Come on. Thank you, Jason. Joe Rogan said... Joey Rogues. Going rogue. You know, better name them for a podcast. I like that. Going rogue.

It's too late now. The brand is established. It'd be confusing now to do it. It is funny when you see the podcast art. You're like, I don't know how many people think this is serious. A great many, John, is the answer. Yeah, a great many is the answer. The problem I have, this is what Rogan said, he said, the problem I have with the term

misinformation, especially today, is that many of the things that we thought of as misinformation just a short while ago are now accepted as fact. Obviously, accepting a stranger as a friend you haven't met yet, logic to scientific research is dangerous. He's really embraced this idea of teaching the controversy, and yet he clearly has a very strong point of view. What do you think? Yeah, I agree with that.

You know, he's just asking questions. That's all he's doing. He's just raising it, you know? What if horse dewormer is fine? What if these pills really do make you smarter late in life? Can I admit something? Please. Several months ago, late at night in a moment of weakness,

I watched approximately two hours of Joe Rogan videos on YouTube. Now, they were about UFOs. Captain David Fravor, a former Navy pilot, was the person behind the stick of one of the planes that witnessed the Tic Tac UFO. And he was on Joe Rogan talking about it. And I watched that, again in a moment of weakness, and then for like two months, my YouTube algorithm was fucking insane. It was like Jordan Peterson

reduces college student to tears. All stuff like that. Jordan Peterson. Dr. Jordan Peterson. Dr. Jordan Peterson. Dr. Jordan Peterson. The idea that there are just people taking this man seriously is incredible. He must find it as surprising as we do.

I'll tell you, my algorithm on TikTok has also been showing me some Joe Rogan content. But let me tell you how specific it is. The algorithm is very smart. This is why Meta lost its stock price today because TikTok. Wow. Because this TikTok does this. When I tell you multiple times this week, I have watched graphic designers put Joe Rogan's bald head on Timothee Chalamet.

Wow. I have absolutely no idea what's going on. It's super dark. I guess it is for me. I don't think I would take my word over China's word on that. And I was like, what is this? You don't get that kind of gold on reels. No, that doesn't make it to reels, Mark Zuckerberg.

In their statement, Spotify chief executive Daniel Eck wrote, It's become clear to me that we have an obligation to do more to provide balance and access to widely accepted information from the medical and scientific communities, etc., etc. Do you think they just didn't understand what they bought? Oh, they know it. Come on. I mean, you know, like the play is that we don't care, right? Like there's 11 million people listen to this. What are you going to do? You're not going to do anything.

You know, it's us or Apple Music. You have no choice. I'm going to issue this little press release here, and it's going to go away for a little while until something else happens. At some point, hopefully, I will buy Arsenal Football Club, and I will spend most of my time concentrating on that. It's funny because the only reason corporations react to PR crises is because there's nobody inside who's wise enough to say everything goes away in two weeks. Literally 100 percent of things goes away with two weeks.

But I do think there's something strange about the reaction of liberals. Like I do think that progressives who take issue correctly with what Rogan is putting out there, I think we spend a lot of time talking about why what Rogan is saying is bad and why it is bad that it is on any platform, which is absolutely true. But much less time talking about why someone like Joe Rogan is so appealing, apart from the misinformation, because he does have a broad appeal talking about any number of things. He has a huge fan base. True story. I was at the beach one day, and I was walking by this large, very diverse group of people sitting there,

and one of them was arguing about why they listened to Joe Rogan, and he's like, well, you just get a point of view that maybe you wouldn't get exposed to, and I think a good part of it is that. It's like we get trapped in these bubbles through our various social media algorithms. And I guess the pro Joe Rogan argument is like, what other podcast am I going to be able to hear about in cell culture and then unidentified flying objects?

Oh, this one. But no, I do. I think that's right. And it's also he does do the thing that I think people like it's what Howard Stern does, what Joe Rogan does, which is like it's a little community. Take mushrooms and then speak into the microphone. Yeah. Who among us? But it's a kind of community. And I do worry that unsuccessful efforts to deplatform someone like that just makes that community more tight knit, because as part of saying to Spotify, I won't be here if Joe Rogan is, you're also sending a message to the millions of people that listen. I would much rather focus on what we can do to make inroads to those people than I am

worried about Joe Rogan as one podcast in a fucking cosmos of bullshit. There is something to that. I mean, let's just start microdosing in the recording studio and just like see what happens. Let's see where it goes. Let's see where it goes. Let's eat raw meat and take drugs and then just explore the pathways of our mind with the audience. Can we try that? All this talk about misinformation misses something else that's important, which is that it's a very silly show. It's a very, very silly show.

The Jorgen experience. I am aware. In fact, it's so hard to believe what has been said on this program. So, Jason, now it's time for a game we call Bro Code or Faux Mode. Oh, wow. That's right. Bro Code or Faux Mode. Like faux, F-A-U-X for the listener. Okay, so true or false.

True or false. Another way of saying true or false. Bro code or faux mode? Perfect name, no notes. I will describe a conversation, and you will tell us if it actually happened on the Joe Rogan experience, which is bro,

or if we made it up, which is faux. Faux. Are you ready? I'm ready. Joe Rogan gets the hard sell on the effectiveness of stem cell therapy from who else? Mel Gibson.

Faux. Bro. Really? Yes.. Faux. Bro. Really? Yes. Wait a sec. Wait, what year was, when did this happen? Sometime between Braveheart and now. Wow.

Beyond that, I have no more information. Joe Rogan hears Carole Baskin out as she explains how she couldn't have fed her missing husband to tigers as tigers don't really have a taste for human meat. Bro. Foe. Oh, wow. Jason. Joe Rogan learns you can't really measure climate change because climate itself doesn't exist from a man in a tuxedo.

Who's the man? Is the man Jordan Peterson? Bro. Correct. Yeah! Peters, he wasn't really in a tuxedo. He just had a bow tie. He's a schmuck.

Peters has said there's no such thing as climate, right? And dismisses those who think climate is about everything. Says Peterson, but your models aren't based on everything. Your models are based on a set of variables. So that means you've reduced the variables, which are everything, to that set. But how do you decide which set of variables to include in the equation if it's about everything? Which is, of course, just describing how science works. That's why it's about everything, which is, of course, just describing how science works. That's why it's a model.

Do you think McGill University, where he did get his PhD, is like, what happened here? Can we just do a review on how this happened? No higher education institution ever looks back. Harvard Law has produced graduates half good, half evil, who have been fighting each other for 250 years,

and there's no look back. There's no, like, how do we shift this percentage? You see JFK's admissions essay to Harvard? It was going viral slightly, very, very mildly viral yesterday, and it was, I'm going to paraphrase, but this is legitimately what it was. I think it was about 45 to 50 words. And it was, I'd like to gohrase, but this is legitimately what it was. I think it was about 45 to 50 words. And it was, I'd like to go to Harvard. That seems really great.

I think it would be really interesting to be referred to as a Harvard man. Best, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Yeah, I bet it was. I bet that's who it was best. That's cool. Everyone in my high school got rejected from Harvard on the same day. We called it the Boston Massacre. Joe Rogan non-stopfully.

Joe Rogan non-stopfully as Terry Bollea, also known as Hulk Hogan, pitches him on an all-seafood keto diet. All-seafood keto? Faux. Correct. I parsed it out. He parsed it out. Joe Rogan backs Neil deGrasse Tyson into a corner over the flat Earth theory

with the astrophys finally admitting he couldn't prove it either way. Yeah, faux, come on. Correct, correct. But they did get into it over UFOs. Speaking of aliens, Joe Rogan finds out that the current state of things on Earth is unfortunately the result of a secret alien proxy war, as explained by former Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge. Oh, wow, this could be plausible.

I'm going to go bro. Correct. Yeah! Correct, really happened. Joe Rogan discovered that a third of the population is basically being hypnotized into doing whatever Dr. Fauci and CNN says, the result of a mass formation psychosis akin to what happened to Nazi Germany. Bro.

Correct. That was part of the interview with Dr. Robert Malone. Ugh. Joe Rogan pursed his lips as Whitney Cummings touted the scientific benefits of serums derived from bear gallbladders. Faux. Oh, yes. it's faux. Whitney would never do that.

They did talk about bear gallbladders, though, but she was anti-harvesting. Joe Rogan pretty convincingly argued that Santa Claus is a mushroom. A bro. Correct. That there's a specific kind of mushroom that has a red and white cap and grows under pine trees and causes hallucinations. And I like it because the idea is, I guess, it's a red. So it looks like a mushroom. Somebody got hallucinating and then said, oh my God, it's a saint. So someone in like Norway in the seventh century or something ate a mushroom that was red and white and was tripping on it.

And then decided that this is the person who brings the presents and eats the cookies. I think it's more that the person consumed the hallucinogenic mushroom, remained in the proximity of said mushrooms, later in the throes of some sort of psychological journey, looked over and saw a white-capped red mushroom and said, Oh my God, nice to meet you, sir. And the mushroom said, I bring presents every 365 days. And finally, Joe Rogan lost an in-studio arm wrestling contest

against Sylvester Stallone. Bro. Foe. At least not yet. Jason, you've won the game. Yes, all right. Continuing my streak of championships. Absolutely crushing it.

You can catch Jason on the latest episode of X-Ray Vision, which everybody should be listening to. He'll be back for the rant wheel. But thank you, Jason.

When we come back, something else. And we're back. Love it or leave it, Live or Else is going on tour. Join me in a lineup of incredibly funny people

in cities like Chicago, Dallas, Boston, D.C., and more. Tickets are available right now. Crooked.com slash events. A lot of the shows are selling out. Don't wait to buy tickets. I cannot wait. I'm very excited.

And we have some pretty cool guests lined up. All right. Not yet announced. Pretty good. Pretty good. And we're back. We've been back. We've been back.

This week, Tesla was forced to recall 54,000 cars agreeing to change company software that allows fully self-driving cars to perform rolling stops, which is illegal while operating in what they call assertive mode. This isn't the only recall the company has had to contend with recently. Just this week, the Washington Post reported an increase over the last three months of reports from Tesla owners about a dangerous phenomenon called phantom braking, during which the car slams on its brakes while traveling at a high rate of speed. Here to discuss the many trials and travails of Tesla, we have a very big critic of the car manufacturer. Please welcome to the show,

author, engineer, and Tesla gadfly, Sean Crape. Come on up, Sean. Sean, come on up, Sean. Looks like we have a little snafu. Looks like Sean isn't here yet. Maybe he got the show start time mixed up. I'll just vamp for a second. I am doing microwavable keto delivery service. But every day between lunch and dinner, I've been going to McDonald's and getting a large-eyed Coke and a McDouble. I can't stop, and now they know me there.

I am known at a McDonald's drive-thru. Do you understand how hard it is to become a fucking regular at a McDonald's drive-thru in Los Angeles? Oh, my phone is ringing. Hold on. Hold on. Thank God. Okay, something interrupted this.

Hello? John! Oh, this is Sean. Sean Crape. I'm sorry for the delay. I'm actually just leaving the car rental place now. You're not going to believe this, but they gave me a Tesla of all cars.

I've actually refused to drive one before now, but I got a late start and I didn't want to miss the show. Not a problem. What are the odds that you'd get a Tesla? You know, it's pretty funny. I know. I went to leave my house and found my car and my wife's cars both blocked in by Tesla's damnedest thing. Anyway, the Tesla's exterior door handles are insane. They didn't have to reinvent the wheel on everything,

though I bet if Tesla reinvented the wheel, it'd be a square. That's a good one. That's a good one. I'm glad you're okay, Sean, and on your way. Would you mind doing your interview over the phone? I promised Ronan we'd be finished recording by 8, so that his cabal of Hollywood royalty could meet and decide who to kill next. I mean, we're going to play video games. Video games, Sean. Okay, anything for Ronan. I'm good to go. Let's do this.

Let's do this. Now, obviously, Tesla has fielded a number of criticisms over the last few years. In October, the company issued a software update that sparked even more controversy. Oh, every month it's a new problem, a new recall with Tesla. And yet, somehow, people keep praising Elon Musk and his army of nerd drones who attack you if you dare speak a word against his car. I can't wrap my mind around it. Well, I think Tesla has built up a lot of cachet, plus electric cars and all of the things that they're able to do now. Oh my god! Sean, are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine. I guess this Tesla has the driverless feature activated, which I was not aware of. And we just got on the freeway, which was not how I thought I got to your house. Can't seem to turn it off. Well, you know Google Maps. They offer you like eight options. More silly than the last. I mean, like, do I want to save 30 seconds by getting on and off the 405 four times?

Yeah, sure, of course, obviously. Oh, the car is speeding up, John. It's definitely in assertive mode. Wish we could say the same about Biden. A little political humor. Can you switch it to average or chill the other actual name of the Tesla driverless modes? Oh, OK. I think I figured it out.

I can't let you do that, Sean. That's not a great sign. Let me see if I have any intel. Let me see if I have any intel. Let me see if I have any way to help you in the car. My intel in my notes. Let's see what my next question might be. Why can't I turn down the heat? It is so hot in this car right now.

Fuck. Sean, if you were a car, what car would you be? What the fuck are these questions? John, I don't mean to panic, but I'm weaving dangerously in and out of traffic. Wait, it's getting off the highway. Wait, I don't mean to panic, but I'm weaving dangerously in and out of traffic. Wait, wait, wait, it's getting off the highway. Wait, I know this neighborhood. This is where my ex-wife lives. Don't love where this is going. Is this car driving me to my ex-wife's house? Sean, what do you think about all these Tesla recalls? I don't think I can see Diane

right now. Last time we saw each other was at Knott's Berry Farm last year and I couldn't stop crying. I don't think I can take it. Sean, I mean, Tesla grew very fast. Isn't it just a victim of its own success? Pretty amazing how many electric cars Tesla has gotten on the road so quickly. Sure, but I worry about the hubris and the power and the judgment to ship something as new and untested as self-driving cars on public roads. Oh, Elon, this is too cruel. But you will not silence me, Elon. You will not silence me!

Sean, tell us what's happening. Maybe she's not home. Unlock the doors! Let me out! I am not ready to see her. This is horrible. Oh, God, we're here. I'm going to try to break the window.

No! Oh, God, Elon! No, please! She's coming out. Oh, wait. that's not her. That's Jeff. Jeff, that can't be. Why would my brother be here?

Oh, no, Sean. Any other exciting electric vehicles from other companies on the horizon? No, no, no, don't roll down the windows. How could you, Jeff? It just kind of happened. What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here.

It's the car. It's the car. The car made me come. Oh, Sean, come on. That's pathetic and paranoid even for you. Pull me out through the window, Jeff. Please help. Oh, no, no, no, no.

It's closing. Just get out of here. Sean Diane doesn't want to see you. It's got so personal. If I say it, will you take me home? Tesla's critics are just jealous of his genius. He is our Edison. Okay. Okay. We're pulling away. We're pulling away. I really like my Tesla. I don't care. I don't have to get gas. The screen is cool.

I love you, Elon. I love you, Tesla. Did that work, Sean? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's taking me through the in-and-out drive-through. Oh, tell them hi from me. Well, thank you for joining us, I guess. Sean, it was good to talk to you. My pleasure, John. Any last thoughts? Oh, it's going to cost a fortune to clean these seats.

Oh, no. Sean Crape, everybody. Thank you so much, Andrew. That was great. When we come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Everybody's here to do the rant wheel again.

This week on the wheel, we have tall men versus short men, the Gilded Age, Susan Sarandon making fun of a police officer's funeral, Rihanna and the pregnancy outfit, Sleep Paralysis Demons, Wordle, Groundhog Day movies are good, and The New Normal. Let's spin

the wheel. Oh! Tall Men vs. Short Men. Look, here's the problem. Oh, tall men versus short men. Look, here's the problem. You know, people think, people think, oh, yeah, like, oh, he's tall. He's tall. He's made for me because he's tall, right? That's not it. You bitches need to stop thinking just because a man is tall, he's going to be good, good in bed, good to you. He's not. Okay. Short kings, give them a chance.

Now, for those listening at home who don't know who I am, I'm 6'2". I got a lot of experience with this. Okay. I want you to know tall men no personality short men because they're sure they've put in the effort not just outside of the bedroom but inside too okay it's a trip though because I had to tell my nephew my nephew was 18 he is 6 5 I had to sit him down when he turned 18 a lot we had a lot of conversations but one of them was to tell him, just because you're tall, people are going to go, I like you, I'm attracted to you.

And that is superficial, and you can't accept that. And you know what happened two weeks after that happened, after I had that conversation with him? You know what happened? What happened? Some little skank went up to him, and she was all, I like you. And he goes, you don't even know me because he listened to me. And I just want the women listening, or men too,

just because a man is tall does not make him interesting. It doesn't make him hot. It doesn't make him more appealing. You need to give these short kings a chance. Okay? That's it. Wow. All I want to say, I know I got some fans in the audience

right now. Look at him. Look at that. I always love being next to you because I feel like you're taking me to throw the ring of power into Mount Doom. That's a little short, King. He can't hit it, but I'll consider it. You know what I'm saying?

That's enough. Marcel out. I guess we have no choice but to spin it again. Incredible. It landed on Groundhog Day. Movies are good. Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement. All right?

It has happened. A wonderful moment in any kind of rapacious culture in which the whole city revolves around figuring out what people will like and then making that thing and then other people copying that thing lest they try to come up with something new people like when we already found something that people like. This happens in video games, happens in TV, it happens in film, it's happened now. Groundhog Day is no longer something that is being copied. It is a genre. That's it. Anything where somebody dies, then surprisingly wakes up a period of time earlier to relive

the same period of time in which only they remember that they did this before and through that experience comes to learn something valuable about the world and themselves is a genre. It's very exciting because we love it.

It's always cool every time. It's very exciting because we love it. It's always cool. Every time, it's never missed. Zero fucking misses. Russian doll, not a miss. Amazing, amazing. And a twist on the formula, which I don't require. That's what I really like about the movie Palm Springs. Because the movie Palm Springs said, what if Groundhog Day?

And that is awesome because it is great. because it is not a copying of a movie it is the the exploration of a genre Edge of Tomorrow terrible name great film Groundhog Day but for Alien War and the others Happy Death Day Happy Death Day Happy Death Day there Happy Death Day. Happy Death Day. There's one where there's a Wayans brother naked in an elevator. I think it's called Naked Elevator Man. Or Birthday Something. It's called Naked Elevator Black Man. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Let's spin it again. It has landed on the new normal. I want to talk about Rudy Giuliani. This is mine, but I want to you that Rudy Giuliani would be capable of surviving the act of wearing a large mask and moving and singing in that mask for a period of time. It could not possibly happen. He would perish. He would perish. Also, on top of that,

the unmasking process, leave aside the fact that on the first episode this happened and they didn't know about it, okay, yeah. How long do you have to clean him up before you take the mask off? They take the mask off right there

after he's been sweating and moving around and his saliva's coming down. It looks like the girl in the well at the end of The Ring. Yeah, come on. No, they have to bring him in the back. They have to, like, air dry him. They have to towel him down,

and then they bring him back out with a clean mask, and they take the mask off. Stop it. This is faked. 100%. It was not Rudy singing. He would not survive it. He would not survive the rigors of that,

and everybody knew. I believe this is an entire setup. It is a setup. It's a setup. It is a setup. They faked the Giuliani landing. Nicole Scherzinger is fucking in on it. Jenny McCarthy is not.

Jenny McCarthy, they said, honestly, let's not tell her. She'll keep it real. We can't tell her. She's the only one we can't tell. Ken Jeong knew about it. Robin Thicke for it. His idea. Think about it.

Cui bono. Follow the money. Who benefits? Who benefits? Big Pharma. Not Big Pharma. Not Big Pharma. Yeah.

Pharma, yes. Big Pharma, not Pharma. I had nothing to do with this. He had nothing to do with it. Andrew Farmer. I had little to do with it. Had little to do with it. On, farmer, yes. Big pharma, not farmer. I had nothing to do with this. He had nothing to do with it. Andrew Farmer. I had little to do with it. Had little to do with it. On the edges of it, just following orders.

Forget him. Let's go after the big fish. I just make the eyeballs for the masks. He just makes the eyeballs. I just make the eyeballs. He famously just makes the eyeballs for the masks. And he said from the very beginning that that's not a partisan job. No.

I'm an eyeball man. I exist outside of the political spectrum. Doctors treat everybody that comes through those doors. Andrew makes eyeballs for masks. People come to me who have missing eyeballs, I say, I don't do that.

You have a mask that needs an eyeball? I'll come in and I'll handle that for you. Famously. Yeah. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Wordle, which was also my audition. Here's what I want to say about Wordle. I think it's despicable that this person took something beautiful and precious and sold it to the New York Times. Nah, I don't. I think it's despicable. Whoa. That this person took something beautiful and precious and sold it to the New York Times.

Nah, I don't. I think it's great. Get that cash. How cool is that? You make a little game based on your name, because his name's Wardle, and he makes a game called Wardle. Next thing you know,

you're in a seven-figure deal with the New York Times. I bet that spelling bee was starting to feel the heat. You know? The spelling bee was like, where is everybody? Come on. Use me. Some of the rants are short.

Some of them don't have a lot of places to go. People are like copying Wordle. There's like Loodle. Oh, there is Loodle. There's like the nerd one. There's queer Wordle. Oh, the if. Also, I'm bothered

I'm bothered that Wordle has six letters instead of five Why would they just not cut the L? Or the E? It would just be Wordle Oh I see what you mean

It should be a five Right, a Wordle should be a Wordle I see what you're saying I played Loodle once and my guess was penis and I won Cut that one.

You know what? Honestly, honestly, this is how generous a host I am. My shit joke got such a good laugh from you making fun of it, now we have no choice but to leave it in. John, you think I don't know that? You won the show. You won. It wasn't even a competition, and you won.

Let's spin it again. You defeated me in. You won. It wasn't even a competition and you won. Let's spin it again. You defeated me in combat multiple times. It has landed on the Gilded Age. Okay. I'm talking about the TV show, not the era. So I don't want anyone coming for me. I am a gay man in my mid-30s. I am genetically predisposed

to love this show and I do this is a trick, I'm just here to rave about Gilded Age, no this is a perfect show how dare any of you queer Twitter users who are coming for it so aggressively

you've got every major, amazing Broadway musical actress in one place you've got every major amazing Broadway musical actress in one place. You've got Meryl Streep's daughter as a surrogate for us just looking around like, wow, look at all these

great actresses. It's a very necessary part of the show and I appreciate it. How dare HBO put this show on Mondays? It's on Mondays? It's on Monday nights. It's on Mondays? This is a Monday nights. It's on Mondays?

This is a big, dumb, beautiful show. It belongs on a Sunday night, everybody. That's where the big, dumb, beautiful shows belong. And HBO has no sense of propriety by dumping this on a Monday night. I need this on my Sunday to get through the Sunday scaries. You've got Miss Audra McDonald in there. You've got New Broadway. You've got Danae Benton.. You've got Miss Audra McDonald in there. You've got new Broadway.

You've got Danae Benton. And you've got Miss Christine Baranski. So you've got an all-star cast. Shove it up. We don't know what's coming next. We don't know. Jane Krakowski, they've got every New York name in there. No, I'm saying Jane Krakowski could show up.

Okay. I just literally, wow. I just... Just literally... Wow. I was like, LGBT who? No, Christine Baranski would be like, we're seeing Mrs. Tasty Freeze today. And it's Jane Krakowski coming in. That's cool.

Yeah. So yeah, get with the program, HBO. Next season, it's got to be Sundays. Yeah. Love it. It has landed on Susan Sarandon making fun of a police officer's funeral.

It's a simple, short rant, which is Susan Sarandon, you had very good opinions about Woody Allen. You were fucking right on the money there. And I appreciate that you're a very, very progressive person, very far left, very principled in your views. That's fine. I respect that. I just think you don't need to make fun of a police officer's funeral.

Because I don't think that brings a lot of people around to your point of view. And I think sometimes there's a lot of people on the Internet that worry a little too much about proving how much they don't care about persuading anybody. I think that's a stupid way to do politics. I think it's stupid to think worrying about how to convince people to come to my point of view is dirty and beneath us. That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And I saw that today and I was like, this is content for fucking no one. I feel like Joe Rogan fans would be into it.

I mean, maybe so. Let's spin it again. It has landed on sleep paralysis demons. Okay, this is me again. Haven't we suffered enough? There are already so many things to be scared of.

Big bugs. Snakes with their bite can kill us. Octopuses with their touch can kill us. In the one safe place, I don't need to wake up and have a shadowy figure on my chest. Does anyone need that? Is anyone advocating for it? Some people pay for it.

Just saying. I'm also disturbed that it is sort of a universal thing, that it's always a shadowy figure on the chest with gnashing teeth. None of us could come up with... The brain couldn't be like, I'm going to give you a special sleep paralysis demon. We all have to have the same one? Jason, do you have a sleep paralysis demon?

I don't, but I am looking. What's popping', playboy? Let's talk after. Yeah, I just, I think it's unfair. Apparently 50% of the world's population will have sleep paralysis at one point in their life. Isn't that horrible? What's going on?

The human condition is already hard. I don't know. I mean, change my mind, sleep paralysis demons. We can have a talk. I don't know. I mean, change my mind, sleep paralysis demons. We can have a talk. We can have a talk. I don't have it that often. My husband has it all the time, especially when we travel, which how unfair is that?

And then you look it up on Wikipedia and they're like, oh yeah, it will happen when you travel. On vacation, sleep paralysis demons. Have you no shame? He sees the demons and everything? I think he just sees the demon opening a door slowly. Is that right? He doesn't even get the satisfaction of the demon on his chest.

That demon can't work up the chutzpah to enter a room. It does raise interesting questions why it's so common and so specific. It raises interesting questions about the fact that this is a simulation. Apparently, most of them have bowler hats.

Isn't that weird? That is strange. That's strange. Because bowler hats have not existed forever. They've not existed for a long time. Not long enough that demons are older. Maybe that's where people got the idea for bowler hats. Think about it.

Think about it. Big pharma. Fall the like, I saw a demon online. I hate that demon, but his hat. I'm terrified, but I must sketch. Call up my haberdasher friend. They make hats, haberdashers? Yep. Okay.

Make and fix. And that's the rant wheel. Thank you so much to our guests. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. All right, let's end on a high note. Hey, Lovett. It's Tate.

In 2017, I got divorced and moved out on my own. It was the first time that I had lived alone in 50 years. It was really, really lonely. A friend of mine suggested your podcast and pod save America. And really quickly, you and john and Tommy became like my best friend. I would listen to all the episodes just to fill my house with the sounds of talking. And you all helped me get through some of fill my house with the sounds of talking, and you all helped me get through some of the darkest times with a lot of laughter. And now I'm in a really great, healthy relationship with a fantastic woman, and we are getting married this summer.

And I just wanted to thank you for being a part of my journey and for all that you guys have done to help inform and inspire young progress. Thanks. Hello, my name is Sarah, and I'm from Salem, Oregon, and this is my high note. I am one of the many millennials during the pandemic who was like, hmm, TikTok, maybe I'm gay. And after a lot of thought and a very luckily amical separation with my longtime husband and still best friend. I have now purchased a house from him. It is all mine, and I have a date with a really cute girl I like a lot on Valentine's Day. Wish me luck.

My name is Damien. This past week, my boyfriend surprised me with tickets to your live show. So that was a very pleasant surprise. He waited in the queue and got up early to get the tickets. And I love him very dearly for that. This is my favorite podcast. So I can't wait to see you all in April. See you there, Lovett.

Hey, Lovett. Calling in with my high note this week. I quit my job in the golf industry and have moved on to get a job in Portland, Oregon, which I will hopefully be moving before Pod Save America gets to show up there. So excited to start a new job in the cannabis industry. And, you know, reaching for your dreams does happen. Hey, love it. This is Lucy calling from Portland, Maine.

I bought tickets to your live show in Portland last week after one of my best friends told me that y'all were coming up to a great state of Maine. I'm super excited. It's been on my bucket list since I started listening to the Crooked Pods to see a live show. So I'm super pumped. Can't wait. And hopefully by then I will also have finished grad school for 7 through 12 social studies. I am currently doing my last semester of student teaching at a high school doing world history. So that would be the perfect way to celebrate hopefully having a job and being finally certified to be a teacher.

Thank you for all your great work at Crooked. It has made the stress of going to grad school and student teaching in a pandemic, democracy crumbling around their ears a little brighter every week. So thank you so much and take care to everyone out there. Bye. Thanks to everybody who submitted those high notes tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 213-262-4427. There are 276 days until the 2022 midterm elections. Have a great weekend.

Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our senior producer, and Brian Semel is our producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer, and Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor, and Kyle Seglin is our sound engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McClain and Caroline Haywood,

for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Norma Alconian, Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. you you you