Lovett or Leave It - Not With a Wave but a Whimper

Episode Date: November 12, 2022

Lovett or Leave It survives the red wave that never was after this week’s midterms, and celebrates the only way we know how: gorgeous gay mayhem. Matt Rogers channels this era’s two greatest villains, Donald Trump and Lydia Tár. Abbott Elementary’s Lisa Ann Walter reminds the world: yes, she was in that, too. Unspooled’s Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson see if our audience has the 411 on AFI’s Top 100 movies. Anne Helen Petersen helps you put in the work, and our dais of stars welcomes these chilly autumn nights with a piping round of Hot Takes. Thank you, thank you, thank you for voting, you beautiful listeners, you! For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else, coming at you from the other side of a red wave so small, I could have surfed it. Person who could not stand up on a surfboard on land cowabunga we're all surfing the red wave holy shit uh listen a couple of you i'm going to assign a duty here's your duty keep an eye on that john ralston twitter thread all right i want to know the exact moment if it happens and by this comes out saturday i want to know the exact moment if it happens, and this comes out Saturday I want to know if our Catherine Cortez Masto pulls ahead of that fucking schmuck I'm sick of waiting

I'm watching that fucking New York Times thing every day find those votes, ghost of Harry Reid we had so many conversations leading up to tonight's show about what we would do to buck everybody up. What are we... How are we gonna... How are we gonna, in the face of a brutal defeat,

remind everyone that this is a long and hard fight over many years, win or lose, we were gonna have to stay in it to fight for democracy, that even if we lost the House by dozens and dozens of seats, and even if every one of our favorite Senate candidates was defeated by schmucks and quacks, the fight would continue, the work would go on. Don't need any of it. And the thing about it is, we can't really pat ourselves on the back too much. Because I think deep down we know, whatever the analysis, and we'll get into the details,

and I'm sure John will walk me through crosstabs or whatever he does on his iPad, take me to the wilderness, and I'll try as hard as I can to get back to the city as quickly as I can. And it is exciting, it is inspiring that in the places where abortion and democracy was really at stake, a bunch of people came together and either split their ticket or came out to vote against these radical Republicans. That Republicans being against basic human rights, Republicans coming out against the basic tenets of our democracy was enough to bring together a bipartisan majority of people to turn off independence, some Republicans and all the Democrats we needed. I think that is a sign of hope that this machine, though it is sparking, that it is throwing off a bunch of nuts and bolts we probably wished were

still somewhere inside the apparatus, This car still drives. Not as well as we'd like. Not as fast as we want it to go. But she moves. We've got a great show for you tonight. Crooked Zone Anne Helen Peterson is here to give some work advice. So everyone here, if you have a professional quandary, start

thinking of how to anonymize the villains in your office now. Abbott Elementary's Lisa Ann Walter is here to prove that she has been in everything. Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson are going to play a little game to test your classic movie knowledge. And Matt Rogers is back with a full orchestra to talk about tar.

We had actually had a whole thing like, how do we walk through all the midterm news that's really bad? And we're like, all right, here's what we do. We get Matt Rogers out here. He'll be really funny. Then I'll deliver the medicine. But we're just going to do it anyway. So it's just going to be all good stuff.

Plus hot takes because for once, politics hasn't put us in the mood to rant. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Well, well well well looks like the long-hyped red wave never materialized on election night i've seen bigger red waves come out of don jr's snorting nostril if you ask me republicans have made a lot of women feel terror when a red wave doesn't show up. About time they got a taste of their own fucking medicine. With a lot of races still too early to call, the two parties remain locked in a surprisingly close battle for control of both the House and the Senate. In one of the biggest Democratic victories of Tuesday night, Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman,

who looks like what happens when a drunk Penn student screams Philadelphia while kicking a genie's ass, won his Senate race in Pennsylvania, defeating Trump-endorsed quack Dr. Oz and flipping the seat. It seems the small-minded voters of Pennsylvania just weren't ready to accept a grifting New Jersey millionaire, no matter how many dogs he murdered. jersey millionaire no matter how many dogs he murdered democrat josh shapiro also prevailed in the pennsylvania governor's race against trump endorsed republican and confederate cosplayer doug mastriano the jews needed a win this week pennsylvania not only have you elected a great governor you've done a mitzvah

everybody take a schmitz a mitzvah. Everybody take a schmitz. Mazel tov, everybody. Meanwhile, in Georgia, Senator Raphael Warnock and Human Abortion Fund Herschel Walker will head to a December runoff as

neither hit 50% of the vote, even as Warnock led. Alright, so all these Republican big shots came through the state and convinced all their Republicans who were going to vote for Kemp and show up for the congressional votes to hold their nose and vote for Herschel Walker to participate in this fucking farce. Now they have to do it all over again and tell them to get in their cars and drive across town to their polling places for the sole purpose of casting a vote for this obviously unfit, unqualified guy. And it could work.

It absolutely, of course, could work. But think about how much more fun we get to have while they're desperately trying to drag this guy across the finish line. We just get to convince people to vote for a righteous and mellifluous pastor who everyone fucking loves. There's this sort of conversation going on now among Republicans, and they use this term candidate quality. They call it candidate quality,

like it's a Subaru that rattles on the highway. You know, like it's a build issue, like a small problem they can solve when these people are insurrectionists and full fucking QAnon psychos. This is not a rattle on the highway. These people are pintos. If you bump the fender, the door's no longer open,

and the engine catches fire. You don't call that candidate quality. We have a candidate quality problem. Yeah, you have a base problem. The problem isn't that a bunch of fucking assholes are running for Congress. The problem is Republican voters look down the list of people you offer and choose the biggest human fucking piece of shit possible. And everyone's like,

oh man, Trump really fucked us by endorsing all of these terrible Republicans as if he went door to door and threatened the voters. No, he said, I really like this person. He's as big an asshole as I am. They're like, we're in. You're mad at Trump? You're mad at your voters. Everyone's acting like things are happening to the Republican Party. No, no, no. The Republican Party is happening to us. You could actually see Fox's coverage devolve over the night

after starting out so very hopeful. Washington and many of the states across the country are going to have a lot of changes when they wake up tomorrow or by the end of the week when we have final results. Look, they have spent weeks building up the expectation that this was going to be not just a red wave, but a red tsunami. And so when all your coverage is predicated on maintaining the illusion of total victory, it can be hard to keep that illusion going as the night continues. But they did try. What do you think this election? Well, all I have are anecdotes

and they're positive anecdotes. That's the kind of thing you tell your friend the morning after they get blackout at their 30th birthday that's not how you interpret election results overall from mastriano to oz to michigan gubernatorial candidate tutor dixon a gratifying number of trump endorsed candidates absolutely ate shit on tuesday but, according to Dr. Oz, that's apparently really good for your gut biome, so maybe they'll recover. When asked on Wednesday how he felt about Republican chances of taking the Senate,

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell replied, I don't deal in feelings. Sadly for Elaine Chao, McConnell got this line from his wedding vows There were a few unfortunate exceptions, of course Among them, Peter Thiel's word donkey, J.D. Vance defeated Congressman Tim Ryan by a wider margin than predicted Vance, of course, was criticized for saying that Trump could be America's Hitler

before completely reversing himself and seeking Trump's endorsement As the saying goes, if you can't beat his conf, join his conf. What are you oohing exactly? I don't care when you oo. In one of the more shocking turns of the midterms, New York Congressman Sean Patrick Maloney, the chair of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, was unseated by his opponent, marking the first time a campaign chair from either party has failed to be re-elected in 42 years.

I guess now he'll be home Maloney. Alt. More like Sean Patrick Baloney. I put that in so many slacks and it didn't make it into any of the scripts. Nothing. Sean Patrick Baloney. Sitting right there.

Sean Patrick Baloneyna, sitting right there. Sean Patrick Bologna lost after deciding to run in what he thought would be a friendlier district. Following New York's redistricting process this year, that decision forced Mondaire Jones to run in New York City District, where he lost his primary. To put this in New York terms, Bologna's the guy who shoves in front of you

in line at Russ and Daughters, gets the last babka, and then somehow fumbles it into the Hudson River. Almost immediately after Maloney conceded, Jones tweeted a single word, yikes. That scramble to find districts wouldn't have happened if several conservative judges appointed by Andrew Cuomo hadn't thrown out a much more Democrat-friendly map and taking redistricting power away from the legislator altogether. You can take the status out of the Cuomo, but you can't take the Cuomo out of the status Cuomo. Fuck. Thank you. Thank you.

Tuesday was a huge night for abortion rights, with voters upholding abortion protections and rejecting new restrictions in all five states where they were on the ballot, including in deep red Kentucky. As one Fox News commenter put it, Republicans underperform because Democrats win independence in a non-presidential year. Just no polls saw that coming. And it was because these women just went crazy. You know, women, women be shopping for shopping for their human rights.

Just to be clear, so when women go crazy, they enshrine basic freedoms into state constitutions. When men go crazy, they have to grease the street lamps in Philadelphia. Four to five states that voted on this voted to remove language and loopholes in their constitutions that allowed forced labor as a punishment, with Louisiana being the one holdout.

Turns out you can't have 600 parades a day without at least some forced labor. According to the Louisiana government, your freedom is not, Cajun accent, guarantee. I couldn't do it. I couldn't commit. Malcolm, I'm sorry. I wanted to. I'm going to try again. I'm going to try. Guar guarantee. I couldn't do it. I couldn't commit. Malcolm, I'm sorry. I wanted to.

I just, I'm going to try again. I'm going to try. Guarantee. I can't do it. Doesn't, doesn't feel right. Doesn't feel right. Meanwhile, in a News Nation interview that aired Tuesday evening, Donald Trump was asked about the power of his endorsement for Republicans. And he said this. Well, I think if they win, I should get all the credit. And if they lose, I should not be blamed at all. Yes. That is how every one of us should live this way. That is how we should go through every day. Come on.

Just straight face to camera. If I win, I did it. If I lose, you did it fucking love it that's cool i'm gonna use a little more heads i win tails you lose on our side privately trump was reportedly furious about the gop's flop in the midterms and blamed melania for advising him to endorse dr oz when reached for comment melania clarified I actually just said I thought he should see a doctor. As Arizona's vote continued to be counted, gubernatorial would-be Carrie Lake publicly accused Ron DeSantis of benefiting from a conspiracy to slow roll her victory,

along with that of Senate hopeful Blake Masters, in an attempt to discourage supporters of this election's MAGA flops. And so they slow roll the results. You know, Ron DeSantis goes out, gives his big speech, and then they want to make it look like the Trump Republicans don't have a chance. Yes. Yes. Tear each other apart. Savage each

other like so many spray-tanned crabs fighting in a Mike Lindell brand My Barrel. Everybody should figure out how to look as good as Carrie Lake does in every goddamn shot. She never misses. I don't know how she does it.

She always looks like the way they used to shoot Barbara Walters, just like mystical, almost like an angel through like three inches of gauze. I want to be shot that way. And in another thrilling moment, Donald Trump threatened his prospective Republican challenger Ron DeSantis, saying to reporters, If he did run, I will tell you things about him that won't be very flattering. I know more about him than anybody other than perhaps his wife who is really running his campaign.

I know more about him than I know about myself, Trump said, before staring wistfully into the distance. Trump went further today, taking aim at conservative outlets blaming him for the midterm disappointment and focusing the full force of his all-you-can-eat word salad bar on DeSantis.

Trump put out an absolutely magnificent statement on what you call truth social that is so dramatic and bitchy, it has real housewife energy, it has gay energy, and here to read an abridged version, it's Matt Rogers. Hi, Matt. Here to be gay. Let's hear it. Let's hear what Trump had to say.

Now that midterms are over and a success, News Corp, which is Fox, the Wall Street Journal, and the no longer great New York Post bring back call we don't know what that is

is all in for Governor Ron DeSanctimonious an average Republican all caps governor with great public relations who didn't have to close up his state but did, unlike other Republican governors. And who has the advantage of sunshine. Where people from badly run states up north would go no matter who the governor was, just like I did. Ron came to me in desperate shape in 2017.

He was politically dead, losing in a landslide to a very good agriculture commissioner, Adam Putnam, who was loaded up with cash and great poll numbers. Ron had low approval, bad polls, and no money. But he said that if I would endorse him, he could win.

I didn't know Adam, so I said, let's give it a shot, Ron. It was as though to use a bad term, a nuclear weapon went off. Years later, they were the exact words that Adam Putnam used in describing Ron's endorsement. He said, I went from having it made with no competition to immediately getting absolutely clobbered after your endorsement. And now Ron DeSanctimonious is playing games. The fake news asks him if he's going to run if President Trump runs. And he says, I'm only focused on the governor's race.

I'm not looking into the future. Well, in terms of loyalty and class, that's really not the right answer. This is just like in 2015 and 2016.

A media assault collusion! When Fox News fought me to the end until I won and then they couldn't have been nicer or more supportive. The Wall Street Journal loved low energy

Jeb Bush and a succession of other people as they rapidly disappeared from sight, finally falling in line with me after I easily knocked them out one by one. We're in exactly the same position now. They will

keep coming after us. MAGA. But ultimately, we will win. Put America first and make America great again! Matt Rogers, everybody.

See you in a bit. See you in a bit. He'll be back. We were talking about that scene. See you in a bit. I'll be back. He'll be back. He'll be back. We were talking about that. First of all, amazing. Towards the end, it really gets Ursula the Sea Witch energy. You basically could refer to the other Republicans as his poopsies. What a queen.

In seeing this start, we were talking about this today in the Crooked News Slack. We forgot that 2016, it was a little bit fun right up until it wasn't. And I'm not going to forget that it stops being fun. But come on. Meanwhile, as Hurricane Nicole made landfall in Florida this week, Trump reportedly decided to ride it out at Mar-a-Lago

despite a mandatory evacuation order, said a National Guard representative half-heartedly, no, don't, stop, it's dangerous. Look, it's fine, said Trump, holding up a weather map with the word fine sharpied over Mar-a-Lago. In other news over at what is left of Twitter, Elon Musk launched Twitter Blue

and the platform immediately became flooded with fake accounts impersonating public figures as literally everyone told him it would. This is like that scene in Spartacus, but everyone hates Spartacus and just stood up ironically. Norwegian princess Martha Louise has surrendered her royal duties

to focus on her alternative medicine business with her fiancé, a self-professed shaman, andessed shaman. And the shaman's name is, says here... Oh, no, it's Dr. Oz. KFC's German division has apologized for sending an app alert that read, it's Memorial Day for Kristallnacht. Treat yourself with more tender cheese

on your crispy chicken now at KF Cheese. They also apologized for the accompanying depiction of Colonel Sanders saying, we intended his new mustache to be a nod to Charlie Chaplin. The National Park Service has urged visitors to please stop licking the Sonoran Desert Toad, which secretes a psychedelic toxin. This news, however, is how I learned you can do that. Which makes me think of the Streisand effect. That's when you're so fucked up on psychedelic toad toxin,

you think you're Barbra Streisand. I was in Costa Rica once doing a zip line, and we came across a group of gays talking about the fact that a little toad had jumped onto their balcony, and one of them touched it, and all of a sudden got lightheaded as if it was like poppers. And we joked that he was going to bring one of those frogs home and have it in the drawer next to his bed. And when someone asked what that toad was there for, he'd say, it's for cleaning my VCR. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will make history by becoming the first world leader to appear on RuPaul's Drag Race.

Trudeau said to reporters, I'm sorry, there's been a misunderstanding. I was trying to do race drag. What? A U.S. Air Force pilot flew a penis-shaped flight path with the business end of the dick pointed directly at a Russian base in what the Air Force pilot flew a penis-shaped flight path with the business end of the dick pointed directly at a Russian base in what the Air Force insisted was a total accident.

Harder to explain was why the flight path spelled gargle them under the balls. And finally, in Florida, 25-year-old Maxwell Frost won a house seat to become the first Gen Z member of Congress. Don't worry, Max. You're going to fit right in. You and Dianne Feinstein can bond about how neither one of you remembers 9-11. When we come back, a requiem for Twitter's main character. And we're back.

Well, Elon Musk might be playing 4D chess with his takeover of Twitter, but as anyone who plays chess will tell you, that's too many dimensions. Earlier today, Elon Musk called a town hall meeting for Twitter's employees, all of which was basically live-tweeted by his disgruntled staff, informing them that bankruptcy is not out of the question for the platform. Of course, this was after Twitter's chief information security officer, chief privacy officer, and chief compliance officer all resigned Wednesday night. You can't blame them, as Musk's new rollout of Twitter Blue

has inundated the platform with fake accounts pretending to be actual notable figures, all in an effort to make a few bucks. As Musk acts more erratic with the platform's financial and security features, the FTC even issued a warning Thursday that they are tracking recent developments at Twitter with deep concern. And as we are writing this intro, the two top executives at Twitter, the company's head of trust and safety and the head of sales, also resigned. In the words of his startup brethren, it seems Elon may have moved fast and broke Twitter. There's no telling how long the platform will stay afloat or how long any of us will cling to the slur-covered debris before

begrudgingly swimming over to Mastodon, whatever that is. Personally, I refuse to be rescued. But since Twitter may be in its final days, we wanted to take a moment to honor the heroes, the fallen soldiers. Please remove your hat and place your retweeting hand on your heart as we remember

the main characters of Twitter. Cinnamon Toast Shrimp Guy. March 2021. His account of finding shrimp tails in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch captivated a nation. How did the shrimp tails get in there? To what lengths would he go to find out? Was the whole thing a desperate ruse for attention?

He was the husband of Topanga from Boys Meets World, and for a few fevered days, he was Twitter's cinnamon shrimp king. But his time on the throne was cut short when several former girlfriends and colleagues came forward to accuse him of abusive behavior, and he abruptly stopped tweeting, never to go viral again.

You either die a shrimp guy, or live long enough to become a bad boyfriend. When we come back, a trip to the movies! And we're back! I know we've been talking about the midterms a lot, but I just wanted to reiterate how incredibly thankful and proud of everyone listening to this podcast and everyone who listened to all of the crooked shows and everybody who signed up at Vote Save America. You did an incredible job volunteering, phone banking, getting out the vote in this midterms. Giving a fuck does work.

We really did make a difference in a bunch of swing districts, and we have a bunch more work to do as we head to 2024. But thank you to everybody listening who did something, who donated, who volunteered, who showed up, who voted, who got their friends and family to vote, because we all went into this thing not knowing what was going to happen, all afraid of how bad it could be. But because people showed up and did the right thing, we did so much better than anybody predicted. And that is in large part thanks to everybody who participated in Vote Save America and getting the opportunity to be part of Vote Save America is the proudest and most exciting part of being part of Crooked Media. So thank you to everybody who participated in Vote Save America. And getting the opportunity to be part of Vote Save America is the proudest and most exciting part of being part of Crooked Media. So thank you to everybody who signed up.

You made a huge difference. We get emails all the time from campaigns, and they tell us that the people who signed up through Vote Save America, the people who show up because they came through Crooked Pods and signed up to volunteer are the best volunteers they have. They don't just show up. They show up. They do shift after shift. They make a huge difference. We've heard it from Ben Wickler in Wisconsin. We heard it from campaigns in California. We hear from all across the country. So thank you. And because of all of that hard work, even as we look towards a runoff in Georgia where we're going to have to keep fucking hustling,

this weekend's for us. All right. And we're going to have to keep fucking hustling. This weekend's for us, all right? And we're going to enjoy other pursuits. And here to take us out to the movies, it's the host of the Unspooled podcast, Paul Scheer and Amy Nicholson. Hey, everybody. Oh, Amy, hi. How are you?

Come on out. So good to see you. Great to see you. Hi, Amy. I got to tell you, John, you made me upset even mentioning 2024. I just want to enjoy this week for a couple minutes. You're absolutely right.

Yeah. You're absolutely right. You said we got a lot to do, and I was like, oh, yeah, we do. Oh, no. We do, but you know what? The rest of 2022, that's our fucking time. I love it. All right?

The rest of 2022 is for chilling out and infighting. That's all we need to do. Give me a Christmas tree already. Get some lights up. Let's just go. Let's just move quickly through the next thing. Absolutely. Hi, Amy.

Hello, how are you? How are you doing? So I just want to note that all of these questions, well, you'll understand. Would you agree that we come to this place for magic? This is the most Phantom of the Opera-looking podcast set I've ever seen in my life, so yes. I do want to talk about this Nicole Kidman thing.

Does she know that it's become memeable? And then if you're AMC, how do you approach Nicole Kidman? Do you go like, Nicole, we got this? Because Nicole Kidman to me seems like someone who has never gone to a movie that's not a premiere. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way. It just feels like she's not like, ooh, Clifford the Big Red Dog? I'll go see it.

Fuck it. Like, she doesn't seem like, I'm just going to go into this AMC. Yeah, a part of me does, on some level, believe she is the character she played in The Others. Yeah. And that she is some kind of a, I don't want to spoil The Others,

2003's The Others, but that she is sort of trapped, you know, in a certain time and space. See, I don't believe that. I believe Nicole Kidman is really that picture. Have you seen that picture from her the day she got divorced from Tom Cruise, where she's in a tank top,

and she's screaming, and her eyes are open, and she's wearing, like, mismatched outfits? No. She kind of looks like she's in Daytona Beach. Okay, wow, I love that. Like, that's the Nicole Kidman who gets drunk and goes and sees Clifford at 3 in the afternoon. But you see, I haven't seen that Nicole Kidman for such a long time.

I feel like she's much more controlled Kidman. I don't know. Look, my best New York City moment was I lived on 50th and 8th, and I was racing home one day. And every now and then people will stop you from walking down the street for whatever reason. And I just kind of busted through this crowd, and I was racing home one day and every now and then people will stop you from walking down the street for whatever reason and I just kind of busted through this crowd and I was really walking and I hit a limousine whose doors opened and Nicole Kidman popped out at the same time

and we almost collided and I was like, out of my way. And I was like, oh, I'm a New Yorker. This is amazing. This is a great moment to not even care but I was like, Nicole Kidman, go, go. 50th and 8th, huh? Kind of a dead zone.

Hey, Hell's Kitchen, come on. It was fun. I had an L-shaped apartment. It was by the ACE. It was perfect. It was great. I didn't have money. That was a great pot.

That was a great spot. $1,000 a month, that was perfect. How would you describe that indescribable feeling we get when the lights dim? indigestion? yeah okay it's nerve wracking it's nerve wracking

I mean as a critic I feel like very seriously when the lights dim I'm always supposed to kind of hit a reset button in the back of my neck and say like be open minded

like you're supposed to erase everything and then be like maybe Adam Sandler made a lovely movie. And then sometimes he does. Hustle is underrated, and Hubie Halloween, too. Not one.

I mean, Hubie Halloween also. I'm so glad you raised this, because it's been on my mind since you've raised it, which is Punch Drug Love was so good, and he's so good in it. And I don't, like, I'm always surprised when somebody has that kind of talent in them, but they're like, nope, I want to go to Hawaii with Rob Schneider.

I love it because he's like, you know what? I can get an Oscar nomination, but I also can do this other shit over here. Like, no one can do that. Like, I feel like he's got this amazing ability to kind of do both. Like, Uncut Gems is great. I think Hustle, again,

underrated. It's very good. It's like a rocky story. But then, I like that he's just like, and now I'm going to do a fart joke for like a whole 90 minutes.

Yeah, that's right. That is cool. I agree. I will say one other thing too. Like, when you said the light stem, I was thinking

that when I saw Requiem for a Dream, another movie I don't want to spoil for you, they played the second reel of that movie twice in my screening. And for 30 minutes, I was like, wow, what a cool choice to show it to you again. I was like, this is Aronofsky at his best. Letting me see it one more time.

It's so upsetting. It's so disturbing. And I was willing to go with it until someone came in and said, there's been a mistake. Every once in a while, that'll happen to a movie with subtitles where they won't have the subtitles and you're thinking, I guess I'm not,

it's supposed to be about the vibes. Yeah, right. I'm in, I'm ready to go. When I was a kid, my mom and I were going to see, I believe, Toy Story, but we accidentally went into the theater showing Heat. And we watched like five minutes

of Heat, thinking it was like a really long trailer. Like you thought at any minute, Robert De Niro would turn into a toy cowboy? Honestly, that's a really, like I? Honestly, we should have left sooner. We're like, I guess this, oh, we're in the wrong theater. This is going on. It was a prologue. Yeah, it seemed like we just were like, I don't know.

Maybe it's going to become, yeah, maybe it's like a reverse. You know, like at Roger Rabbit, it starts with a cartoon. Maybe Toy Story starts with a fucking bank robbery. When I first moved out to LA, there was this cheap-ass hotel that I would stay in. I was watching a DVD of The Manchurian Candidate, not the old one, but the new one with Denzel. And the TV just had never been color-corrected at all, so you could barely see it.

It was so dark that I was like, me and my girlfriend, we were watching, and I was like, that's cool, yeah, this is it. This is it. It, this is it. Really moody, and then we realized, oh no, the TV was just on, like, zero contrast. I actually had a discussion today about how Carrie Lake reminds us a little bit of the Meryl Streep character from

that movie, and all I retain from that film, which I have seen one time in the theater, is a very specific moment, is when Meryl Streep is describing the case she would make for her son, and she describes his heroism in battle and it ends with her saying, in the desert, in the dark, and she goes like this with her fist

and it is seared on my fucking brain. Do you remember that? In the desert, in the dark. So cool. Meryl's so cool. So cool. Here's a question. One time my friend Spencer and I,

we got Chipotle burritos and we snuck them in our pockets into a movie that we thought was going to be empty, but it was really quite full. We were sitting towards the end and there was a couple empty seats and it was the two of us and there was two people next to us and we whipped out our super stinky

fucking Chipotle logs. Spencer was next to me and a stranger was next to them and the stranger tapped Spencer and said, would you guys mind sliding over because those things are really strong? And Spencer said, nah, we're good. How much jail should we have gotten, do you think? A lot, a lot.

We're really villains. Yeah, because this is my issue with airports too. Don't bring that shit on the plane. Don't like people getting burgers and burritos. It's like, I get it. The plane's not serving you food, but that shit is, we're in a small, I try to respect myself.

I'm just eating trail mix, Twizzlers. Keep it simple. Hard to disagree. Bring whatever you want. I ate a full sushi meal during House Bunny. Nice. Bringing sushi into a movie theater, New Low and Glendale sushi.

It was like mall sushi going to see House Bunny. Were you using a fork or chopsticks? Probably a little bit of both. I probably was using my hands too at certain points to make sure I get all that good stuff up. When I lived at 11th and 43rd,

I would... Great area. Great area. I would wear cargo shorts and then I would go to the movies at Times Square and I would put a Big Mac in the left side and the fries on the right side.

When I was living my best life, huh? Paralegaling by day, breaking the rules at the AMC by night. Living my best life. Alright. So good. So good. Classic times. Look, we've all been busy in the world of politics, but fortunately for us, Paul and Amy have been keeping an eye

on the AFI 100. Great transition. I like it. It's time for a game we're calling Dazzling Images on a Huge Silver Screen. Still from the Nicole Kidman. I didn't remember that that sentence is in there because we're still so stuck on heartbreak feeling good in a place like this. I'm just looking at her.

I'm living a whole other thing. I'm connected. I have the t-shirt that says heartbreak looks good in a place like this. I know, it's awesome. And I feel nervous when I'm wearing it to an AMC. It's like wearing the shirt to the concert. Should she be watching Days of Thunder

when she's saying heartbreak looks good in a place like this? Wait, is that what's on the screen? It should be. Yeah. It should be Days of Thunder. Or Far and Away. Far and Away.

Here's how it works. We're going to read you three log lines for a movie on the AFI 100, the updated version where they took out Birth of a Nation, because come on. The updated list, 12 years ago, there's one person of color as a director and zero female directors.

I'm not cutting around to updating that top 100 list for 12 years. 12 years. Nothing good's come out in the last 12 years. Fargo got kicked off on that last list. Fargo fell off the bottom? Yeah, fell off the bottom. Ben-Hur's still on there.

Come on. Get it off of there. I know. Come on. When I was a kid we. Ben-Hur's still on there. Come on. Get it off of there. I know. Come on. When I was a kid, we watched Ben-Hur on Laserdisc. I had a Laserdisc player. I love it. Flip it. Alright, here we go. The only way to watch movies, stop. Here's how it works.

We're going to read three long lines, one of which is the correct one, two of which Amy and Paul have made up. All right? Your job will be to pick out the real log line, or if you select one from our guests, they get a point. Okay. You can't have seen the full AFI 100 like a freak.

Yeah, we want somebody who's not, I'm a movie expert. I got this. Be somebody who's like, I think I know movies. Yeah. Somebody who likes a Be somebody who's like, I think I know movies. Yeah. Somebody who likes a Hubie Halloween, like me.

And, you know, maybe you're more Hubie than you are Uncut Gems. I love movies. I've seen all the Marvel movies. That's the one. Yeah, exactly. I've seen the MCU with Ben Affleck being Daredevil and the new guy being Daredevil.

I got it all. Old school, new school. That's my Sean Connery. That's my Roger Moore. I love classic movies like The Mask, Ace Ventura. I like reboots like Son of the Mask. All right, let's bring the lights up. And Kendra's out there.

Raise your hand if you'd like to play the game. What was the last movie you saw? The last movie I saw? Yeah. I watched Grease 2 this morning. Perfect. You know, it doesn't get talked enough about enough, but I actually think

like drinking in the morning and watching a movie in the morning, give us a question. Like watching a movie in the morning with breakfast? Do you work a graveyard shift and the morning is your night? I had some work to finish up, so I just put on a movie before my PTO started today.

And Grease 2 is my favorite movie. Okay, okay. Probably relevant information. Here's the med head. Adrian's the med star of Grease 2. Anyway, don't worry about it. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, and what is your name? Allison.

Allison, hi. I'm so rude. Started attacking you before I got your name. I like to get the name before I begin the attack. All right, so Allison, it is time for you to choose which logline you believe is correct for the 1967's In the Heat of the Night from director

it says here, Norman Jewison. Here are your three options. I don't say, oh, it's his name. That's a true person's name. A famous director. It's not like, that's not an anti-Semitic name. It's his real name. Oh, the audience is like, oh, we don't like that.

We don't like. They're on a hair trigger tonight. They're on a hair trigger tonight. All right, here we go. A, a black detective is mistakenly accused of murder in a racist Mississippi town. After being cleared, the town's police chief asked him to solve that very murder.

When an innocent man, Sidney Poitier, is found holding the murder weapon to a violent crime, it's up to a racist cop with a loyalty to the law to help clear his name in this southern whodunit. And C. On the hottest day of summer in 1960s Memphis, Sidney Poitier inadvertently starts a 24-hour riot when he attempts to sit

at the counter of a segregated ice cream parlor. In the heat of the night. In the heat of the night. In the heat of the night. Allison, it's no grease too, but people like it. B. B. That's a good answer I like that

It's incorrect It's incorrect That was Yep That was mine Nice Paul gets a point There we go

Yes Thank you More people like Reese too Anyone else like Reese too? Oh my The correct was The one about being cleared And then asked to solve

The very murder Of which he was accused. Next up, it's 1950s Sunset Boulevard from director Billy Wilder. Hi, what's your name? Ian. Ian. You look like Kyle MacLachlan from this angle. It may just be the way the light is sitting.

I was like, this is exciting. You look like someone who would say they haven't seen Sunset Boulevard but actually has. We were supposed to see it, but we couldn't make it happen. So I haven't seen it. Youvard, but actually has. We were supposed to see it, but we couldn't make it happen. So I haven't seen it. You couldn't make it happen? It's been out since literally the 50s. Sorry, couldn't pull it off.

Couldn't get it done. Between now and 1953, what was the last movie that you saw? No judgment. She Made Me Watch, Clueless, a couple nights ago. Oh, great, great. I will tell you something. I don't like She Made Me Watch.

I don't like how it felt. I didn't like the way it sounded. Did you like it? Clueless is Emma, by the way. I mean, Jane Austen, it's classic. Trust me, I heard all about that. I enjoyed it. Pass the mic, pass the mic.

Hi, what's your name? I'm Veronica. I'm sorry, what is it? Veronica. Veronica, hi. Let's talk to you. Have you seen Sunset Boulevard? I can't remember.

I don't think I have, but I know what it's about. So I think this is cheating. Okay, back to Ian. Back to Ian. Back to Ian. Ian, when someone you love is excited to share with you something they love, I would say don't't say, they made you watch that. But, you're right,

but, to be an Ian defender, did you like it? And if you didn't like it, you can be honest too. It was a good time. Okay, that's fine. He's lying. He didn't like it. He hated it. Oh, wow. Wow, okay. All right. All right, Ian. Well, I don't know. If you're not going to like Clueless, you have a taste

issue, so maybe Sunset Boulevard isn't for you either because it rules. Here are your three options. A, an aging starlet on her deathbed is visited by all the roles she played as she learned how each performance changed her from a person to a star. Ooh.

Lillian Gish suspected her fortunes would change when she and her sister Dorothy left Broadway for Los Angeles in 1915. But she could never have imagined they'd both land parts in D.W. Griffith's Intolerance, the most ambitious silent spectacular ever made. Made in 1950, this Oscar winner

is Hollywood's first major try at telling its own biography through film. See, after witnessing a monkey funeral, a screenwriter develops a relationship with a silent film star who's determined to have a second act at any cost. Ian, what do you think?

B is incredibly thorough. B is detailed. But I'm going to go with A because I know Patti LuPone played the main character on Broadway. Ooh. And she's got big aging starlet energy. Wow.

Wow. Kend the guy who did Clueless. I love Ian. Ian, we love you. Ian, you are wrong. You're wrong. Everyone's furious. The correct answer was C. It actually does begin with a monkey funeral

Whose was it? Mine Paul wins Paul gets a second point Ian, thank you for playing What I like about Ian is You didn't hide away from any of your thoughts No

And we should embrace that too Like they weren't awful thoughts But they were honest And I do think that there is something about it Look, famously Ian wears his heart on his sleeve Alright, next up We have 1938's Bringing Up Baby They were honest, and I do think that there is something about it. Look, famously, Ian wears his heart on his sleeve. All right, next up, we have 1938's Bringing Up Baby. Hi, what's your name?

Hi, I'm Erica. Erica, how are you? I'm well. How are you? And you're promising us you haven't seen Bringing Up Baby. I haven't, but I have seen a lot of drag race references about it. Okay, well, let's see what that does for you. That's okay. I think, by the way, you are thinking about whatever happened to Baby Jane. Yes, I am. Oh, well, let's see what that does for you. That's okay. I think, by the way,

you are thinking about whatever happened to baby Jane. Yes, I am. Oh, my God. All right, here we go. A. A hapless, a hapless paleontologist

is pursued by a daffy heiress and together they attempt to break her pet leopard out of a zoo with hilarious results Cary Grant just lost his job and his wife Catherine Hepburn is the one who took it now the roles are reversed

as he has to become the woman of the house Clark Gable is a playboy archaeologist who has ventured to Persia on a quest to find the Garden of Eden when he instead befriends a freshly hatched brontosaurus, Baby, and a local girl played by Claudette Colbert who will do anything to convince him to keep her village's secret. Wow.

Right, Erica, what do you think? Oh, boy. Think about Drag Race. Think about Drag Race, then put it out of your mind because it can't help you because they don't talk about this one. Okay, I'm just going to go with B and I have no idea why. Oh no, someone's whispering.

It's A. It is A. She said B. She said B. No, no, Malcolm. It's a no. Whose was B? Mine.

Jesus. Bam, bam, bam. Wow, Amy, what's happening? I was really hoping people would get confused with the 1980s movie Baby that does have a baby brontosaurus. Oh, baby, oh, wow. Yeah, I was really hoping that would bring some dim bell.

Well, Baby Boom is the dinky. Yeah. Next up, we're going to go to 1942's Yankee Doodle Dandy from director Michael Curtis. Hi, what's your name? Alex. Alex, are you ready to figure out what Yankee Doodle Dandy from 1942 is all about? We'll see.

Okay. All right. A. A saga of friendship and betrayal at a pivotal point in American history. Paul Revere, played by Paul Muni, and Benedict Arnold by Jimmy Cagney are fighting side by side in the Continental Army when an accidental slight from George Washington, Spencer Tracy, who would go on to receive a Best Supporting Actor nomination, sets the childhood chums on opposing paths.

Okay, B, the biopic of that famous man we all know, composer, playwright, actor, dancer, and singer, George M. Cohen. C, the great Jimmy Cagney plays a mobster who sings and dances his way through prohibition in this failed musical comedy. So you really wanted me to not know the answer and it's good because I don't. I'm just going to go with my gut and say C

because it makes me the happiest. It is not C. It is actually a biography of George M. Cohen. But it would be better if it were a musical comedy starring Jimmy Cagney whose was It is actually a biography of George M. Cohen. But it would be better if it were a musical comedy starring Jimmy Cagney, whose was... Bam! Wow.

Let's do one more. I'm going to try to cheat and help you know which one Amy's is, I guess. All right. It's 1971's The Last Picture Show from director Peter Bogdanovich. Peter Bogdanovich, who also played Jennifer Melfi's therapist on The Sopranos. Did anyone's TV go out at the end of that? I was watching it and I was... Hi, what's your name?

I'm Audrey. Audrey? Yes. Have you seen this movie? No. Good. Great. Here we go.

Cool. When a rural Texas town learns its sole movie theater will be bulldozed for a gas station, the theater's young projectionist, Ron Howard, rallies his friends to save the cinema, triggering a showdown between the older generation and the rising hippie movement. An aging director from the silent era tries to make a transition into talkies with two young actors, Sybil Shepard and Jeff Bridges, but realizes the best things are left unsaid. In 1951, teens struggle to come of age in a harrowingly bleak North Texas town,

and this movie, which makes straight people's attempt to lose their virginity seem like Texas Chainsaw Massacre-level bad. Oh, no. Audrey, what do you think? Movie theater bulldozed, silent movie, or... Texas Chainsaw Mass. Chainsaw Virginity.

I'm going to go with A, the bulldozing one. Ooh. I actually, just by body language... First of all, you're wrong. Okay, that's fine. It was the virginity one. It was about the teens coming of age in a bleak North Texas town.

I finally got a point. Amy won. Amy got a point. Amy Texas town. Amy won. Amy got it. Oh, thank God. That is our game. Thanks, everybody, for playing. And thank you to Paul and Amy for being here. What a pleasure.

Go back for hot takes. Everybody, go check out Unspooled. It's a fantastic pod going through classic movies. You'll love it. Thank you so much. It's a great podcast to listen as you watch those old movies. So thank you both for being here. Let us return again to those of us that have gone before like the beto sex tweet lady

november 2018 she was a poet of horniness a bard of cringe to most of us beto o'rourke was a promising texas democrat with a strange fondness for standing on tables. But to one beautiful twisted mind, he was, and I quote, the guy who is all sweet and nerdy, but holds you down and makes you come until your calves cramp. It takes a powerful tweet to ruin the word calves forever. None of us has calves anymore. We have bottom leg blobs. None of us has calves anymore. We have bottom leg blobs. And we'll never be able to look Beto in the eyes again.

But that's the kind of main character Beto's sex tweet lady was. A brave annihilator of language, of discourse, and of our minds. We salute her until our wrists cramp. We come back. Anne Helen Peterson is here to give you the work advice you desperately need. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. And while all this madness happens in the world around us, we still have to get up every day and make our little bowl of slop, put on our pants one trembling leg at a time, and clock in. Here to talk to us about working to live and living to work, it's the host of Crooked Zone, Work Appropriate, Anne Helen Peterson.

Hi, welcome. Good to see you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being here. Crooked Media, we've gone hybrid. Roughly three days in, two days off. You okay? You cool with that? Well, I hear that some people in the office want to be there a little bit more hell yeah I hear that it's some of the guys that want to be enough maybe the founders who want to be in the office a little bit more cut this let's keep moving I get it if my best friends were in the office and my dog was in the office, too, that'd be cool.

This segment is over. So we've kind of moved past the startup eras. We are a family, which I think is like a toxic idea because you're not family. Families are toxic. Yeah. Yeah. It's a toxic family. Because Elizabeth Holmes is not your family. You know what I mean?

What do you think is the right analogy? Do you like team? I mean, team is so corporate speak, right? Right. I think just because I came up through the weird realm of academia where no one would ever say we're on the same team. It would be like we're fighting each other to the death. That's more academia.

Co-players, I don't know. There's no good metaphor. There's no good metaphor. There's no good metaphor. What do you think? What's a metaphor that you would like to use? Campers. We don't know. There's no good metaphor. There's no good metaphor. What do you think? What's a metaphor that you would like to use? Campers. We're all going to camp. I like campers. What about when you were in the White House? I felt I was part of a great team that I was desperately trying to stay included in, hanging on like this all the time. High school. High school.

Well, I think sometimes I think a lot of offices have high school vibes, which can be kind of toxic, right? Yes. Yes. 100%. Do you hear about that a lot? It depends on the industry. Industries where you have older people don't feel as high school necessarily. I've heard advertising agencies described as pretty high school to me a lot. The banking industry just generally, sometimes law firms like junior associates, that sort of thing. Friday, I think more than high school. I have a question. Yeah. Meetings where everybody's in a room together, I think more than high school. I have a question. Yeah. Meetings where everybody's in a room together, I think are an ideal, right?

It's just, it's the easy- How many people? Talking about a meeting where people can really talk and have a conversation. Let's say six to eight people. Yeah. I find that six to eight people all in a room together works. Yeah.

Six to eight people all on Zoom doesn't work as well, but works, right? It's a good simulacrum for being together as best as you can get. It's missing some things, but you can have a conversation. But we still haven't totally landed on how to have a conversation when it's five in the room and three on the Zoom or five on the Zoom and three in a room. It ends up being wherever the majority is, that's the meeting and the other people are watching that meeting. Especially if you have the technology where the

people who are not in the room are like that big in the background, right? They're just like overlording over the entire conversation. And you just, it's very awkward, I think. And this is why lots of companies are trying to figure out this like technology that makes people look the same size, right? Like if you are in the office.

And also most companies don't have the sound stuff down quite right. Everybody has to go stand next to the speaker. Yeah, they have to stand next to the speaker or everyone's just in their individual offices zooming. Yeah. Right? That's rough too. That's rough too.

In the film Demolition Man, that takes place in a city they call San Angeles for no reason because everyone knows that if we have a bad enough earthquake, it becomes a saint city. Doesn't make any sense. They solve this by having everyone in a conference room, but every person's on a little screen that rotates and faces

people. Do you think we should try that? It's forward thinking, right? They also are not allowed to curse. If you curse, you get a citation, but you can use it to wipe your butt. Well, what do you think? What's the perfect scenario for you? Like holograms like that? I don't hate it.

We go and meet in the metaverse? That's awkward. I don't think so. I'd like to stay out of Mark's metaverse for as long as possible. Anne Helen Peterson has graciously agreed. This is somebody who has people from all over the world desperately seeking your counsel at all hours.

Your inbox is filled with questions that you are unable to get to 24 hours a day. We do have a lot of workplace questions. The point is, you here tonight have an incredible opportunity, which is to ask Anne your questions. How to survive at work, how to bring your true self to work, how to get the most out of work. Yeah, we call it workplace quandary.

That's the word we use. Workplace quandaries. Let's bring the lights up. I believe Kendra is back out there. Does anyone have a question? Oh, okay, let's go to, what's your name? Boop.

No, no, just... Fucking unbelievable. No, no, this is... Unbelievable. Say any name in the world, sir. It's really okay. Keep all this in. Hi, what's your name?

John. John. Jesus Christ. You could have picked any name in the world, and you looked at me and said my name to me. What's your question, John, for Anne Helen Peterson? Hi. So I've worked at many tech startups. Wow. Amazing. I know, I know. And they all suffer from petty tyrant syndrome. As a rank and file worker at a tech startup, is there anything I can do other than quit? The correct answer specifically for for this audience, is that you unionize. I think that's hard. I think

that tech companies aren't used to it. I think that they are like, we're nimble, we're lean, we're trying to make decisions fast. We don't have any time for things like workers' rights or an HR department, right? I've dropped the union hint numerous times and I don't get any traction from my coworkers. It's hard. How do you build solidarity amongst people who also kind of want to be the tyrant themselves? You can find the right environment to try to move forward with that and sometimes

it's more likely to happen in larger companies. But other than quitting, sometimes I think this is the thing about someone with high demand skills, which a lot of people who work in tech startups, they have those skills. They can say, this is too toxic. I'm not going to put up with this shit and I'm going to leave. And not many people have that power in our work environment.

I bet it's really frustrating, though, to have to over and over again be like, oh, look at this company making the exact same decisions that lead people to burnout and leave the company over and over and over again be like, oh, look at this company, making the exact same decisions that lead people to burnout and leave the company over and over and over again. So, I mean, I guess you could start your own company that doesn't do that. That's a solution. Or start your own company where you rule with an iron fist. Also a solution.

My very last thing is that I have a better job now, so I don't... Amazing. This is no longer a problem. My very last thing is that I have a better job now. Amazing. This is no longer a problem. Thanks, John. Let's have another question. Oh, we got one up here. Hi, what's your name?

My name is Byron. Hi, Byron. Hi. What is your question? My question is, I recently got a promotion. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Way to go, Byron. I am the youngest in my company by quite a promotion. And yes, thank you. Thank you. Way to go, Byron. I am the youngest in my company by quite a bit.

Everyone that works sort of underneath me is quite a bit older and they don't see me as a boss really to them yet. How can I get them to notice me like that? In like dorkier clothes. It's actually interesting because I can see looking at you that you present as a white man. I do, yes. And usually those people get a lot more authority even when they're younger than other people who have to dress a certain way or speak a certain way or present themselves in a certain way to have that vested authority. Can I ask, like, is it just your age, do you think? Or do you think that they're like –

I did start a bit lower and I did get a promotion to go above them yeah recently so it's kind of like i was at their same level now i'm a bit higher and they don't realize that yet and it's kind of odd at times because they still treat me like yeah i have a pitch yeah yeah tell me here's what you do yeah all right you find the oldest whitest baldest most emotionally unavailable man that you can, and you beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Okay. My other advice would... Other, on top of that.

I mean, I think that there's a way that you can start to position yourself as somewhat more of authority that isn't just like power move, like sending kind of passive aggressive emails or the sorts of things that managers often do to kind of leverage their power, assigning and praising work, right? Like one of the ways that I know someone has more authority than me is when they tell me very specifically all the ways that I've done a good job. First of all, it feels good because they're telling you that you're doing a good job. But then it also is showing like, I am one of the people who can tell you that you're doing a good job. So I would try to approach it at least at first with this idea of like,

how do I make them feel really good and also leverage that understanding as well. So like a carrot and stick approach is what I'm kind of gathering, you know? Thanks, Byron. Hi, what's your name? Kristen. Kristen, what's your question? I was, I think, successful at the beginning of working in my company by being really useful to a lot of people.

We have poorly scoped roles. We're growing quickly. So when there's stuff to do, I was like, oh, I'll do that. Or we have more managers than people who do things. I was like, me, I can help. I am now in a role where I manage people and it's less about doing things and sort of enabling other people to do stuff.

But whenever there's floating around work, it's like, oh, she'll do that. And I would like to transition away from being the like, oh, she'll do that person. And I'm curious what your advice is. I will also say for the people listening at home that you are a woman and that this is oftentimes the thing that happens to women in the workplace, right? Is that they start doing these sort of assistive jobs, right? That they're like, I don't know how to download a PDF. I don't know how to download a PowerPoint as a PDF. I don't know how to send an attachment.

These are all real things that people have told me about some difficulties that they've had in their offices. Yours might be slightly different, but you have skills. And also, women are often conditioned to be helpers in whatever capacity. So it feels natural, and then it keeps going. You're like, but I've grown beyond that role, and this is no longer my job. So how do you say that in a way that is not passive-aggressive or makes people feel like you are being a bitch. This is hard. And I think that

one way is like you point to other people that is their job now, if they actually have that job, or you have to point to the fact you're like, I'm sorry, I'm really focused on doing this work right now. Again, doing it with kindness in terms of like saying this is no longer in my job description. again doing it with kindness in terms of like saying this is no longer in my job description and I have to set this boundary in order to not be this person for the rest of my career at this workplace because otherwise you are going to be the person teaching people to download as a pdf save as a pdf for the rest of your career so you have to stop it now before it becomes like your identity at that workplace it's hard thank you all right kendra should we just go to that voicemail beep yeah and hi this is a voicemail um so my boss is this like

funny jewish uh gay geriatric millennial and i'm i'm this like funny bi-jewish like young shiny object so i've got a bigger range. I've got more energy. So I guess my question is, how do you gently suggest to a superior that there's only room for one of you and it should be me? First of all, I prefer the word elder millennial to geriatric millennial just generally. I agree with that. That's smart. What is your advice for this one?

My advice would be for someone to show a little fucking gratitude once in a while. And to say that some of us elder millennials, we have a lot left to give. All right. And it's not yet time to push us out on the ice flow. Took you a while to get there, though. I had to think of a reason. The other option he was going to ask is what do I do if my boss thinks Elon Musk

is a genius? All right, all right. Everybody... No, but what would you do if your boss keeps saying Elon Musk is a genius? The segment is over. Thank you Anne Helen Peterson. Everybody, check out Work Appropriate. It's awesome. Subscribe right now.

You'll love it. When we come back, Lisa Ann Walter's here. And we're back. You know her. You love her. You've seen her most recently in the hit Abbott Elementary. Please welcome to the stage Lisa Ann Walter. Hi. Hi.

Hi. Welcome, welcome. Thank you for being here. What the hell is happening here? We throw the cards. We throw the cards. Hi, y'all. So we feel like your character from Abbott Elementary

would be a big Fetterman gal. You agree? Oh, God. Huge Fetterman. Huge Fetterman freak. That's my other name for Fetterman. I think Melissa Cimenti would be big into Fetterman. Not just because he dresses

like he just doesn't give a shit, although that's a big selling point for me personally as well. But I just think because he speaks the truth, he speaks what he's thinking, it seems like a good dude. He's just got his kids all dressing like him. He's a little lurch. Right? I had to stop myself because when he won, right after I stopped like having an orgasm, it was a long one. Nice. Right after I finished, I went right to Twitter, as you do,

and I was like, congrats, you giant goon. I'm like, that's not, I can't call him that. He's a senator now. I can't call him that. Can't wait to see him in a suit. I don't feel like that's going to happen. Look, if fucking Jim Jordan can go his entire congressional career without putting a jacket on, I don't know who he thinks he's kidding.

I one time started a thing on Twitter. I wish it was real, but it wasn't. It was a made-up charity called Jackets for Jim. And I had people actually trying to donate money to it. They were like, where do we send the check? And then people were getting mad, like, I think there's better uses for our money. I'm like, yeah. You's better uses for our money.

I'm like, yeah. You stupid. What are you, stupid? That's what I said. So teachers really love the way Abbott Elementary portrays the obstacles teachers face. Yes. Especially at Title I schools. What have you heard? Can you just tell us a little bit about what you've heard from teachers?

We've heard wonderful things from teachers. In fact, I've said often, you know, when people compliment us online, that it's really the only critique that matters to, not just to me, but to Quinta and the cast of the show, is when people tell us we watch with our family. I went, I took my, side note, I took my family to Disney, because one of the things that they give you when you work on a Disney show, usually they're just like, you don't really get a lot of money, but you work for Disney. Like, that makes up for it. But in this way, it really does. They let you one time a year take 10 people to Disneyland. And because one of my, I have identical twins born on the same day as the

twins in The Parent Trap. Did you guys know this? This is absolutely true. Identical boys. And one of them has a girlfriend that's like a Disney adult. You know these people. So we love her. She's a sweet girl. But now she has turned my son into a Disney adult. And so their birthday, October 11th, for those of you who are big Parent Trap fans.

So we took them all with all their friends, 10 people to Disneyland. And they had to make lightsabers, which is $250 a pop, if you don't know this. This is what I mean by it's a lot of money with a Disney adult. But the fun thing was, is everywhere I went, people heard me talk, they recognized me. And I had multiple generations say, oh my God, we watched with the kids or we watched with the grandparents or all of us watched together. So that's super, super awesome. The teachers tell us, you portray us like we're real people and you dress like we dress. You're not on a TV show, look like TV show people. You know, There's not a designer label in any of our friggin' clothes. We get stuff from Target,

Zara, H&M. We dress like, you know, Ross dress for less, a lot of my stuff. I have like six pairs of pants that I interchange. I wear one pair of Doc Martens for the entire season. We are trying to reflect teachers

like they are when they're dealing with their lives and the stuff that they go through at school. But none of it is preachy. And I think that's why they enjoy it, because I wouldn't want to be a part of a show that was like, and here's the message. I am I'm much prefer being in something that's funny. And at the end of it, you go, oh, there was a message. Oh, that was good. Yeah, that is the best. That's great. That's a good point. Yeah. All right. Now, that was good. Yeah, that is the best part. That's great. That's a good point, too. Yeah. All right.

Now, while preparing for your appearance, we were agog at your IMDb page, okay? I love that word. Which inspired this game, a game we're calling, Was I in This? Here's how it works. The audience will have to tell us,

was Lisa Ann Walter in this? Where are my big Lisa Ann Walter heads at? Raise your hand if you want to play and our producer Kendra back out in the crowd. Very audience heavy game tonight. A mistake we won't make again. All right. And we're going to ask you questions. Go back and forth.

Let's find somebody. What's your name? I'm Erica. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Erica. You're so fine. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. Erica. All right. Hi, Lisa. Hi, Erica. You're so fine. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.

Erica. All right, here we go. In 2001, celebrity chef Emeril Lagance was set to star in his own titular sitcom. Unfortunately, the show premiered two weeks after 9-11. Was this incredible actress sitting beside me in this show? Erica. I feel like she was. Correct.

Absolutely true. All right, Lisa, you're up. Fun fact. Emeril Lagasse ate four plates of my baked ziti and sausage and meatballs. Cool. I could throw down. I put my foot in it. This phenomenal performer, that's me,

voiced the Courtney Cox character on the animated TV adaptation of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, which was one of the three television adaptations along with the Mask animated series and Dumb and Dumber. Was I in this? I'm going to say yes again. No, somebody stopped her. Courtney Cox. Yeah, you want to do the next one? It's Courtney Cox. Yeah, you want to do the next one? I'll do this one.

Okay. 1998's The Parent Trap, directed by Nancy Meyers. Two identical twins are separated at birth, only to be reunited at summer camp. Did I play Chessie, the salt of the earth nanny, who discovers the twins have switched places in order to get their parents back together? You did. You're goddamn right I did.

In the 2004 rom-com Shall We Dance, Richard Gere plays a bored estate lawyer who signs up for dance lessons from the charming Paulina, played by Jennifer Lopez, leading his wife Susan Sarandon to believe he's having an affair. Was Lisa in this? No. You bet she was.

I played a dance student named Bobby, and I finished the movie doing the Waltz the Quick Step with Richard Gere and the Cha-Cha with Stanley Tucci. The Cha-Cha is cool. I highly recommend the movie. People say that doing a Cha-Cha with Stanley Tucci does often result in an unintended pregnancy. That's true.

Just don't back up into them. In 2003, Bruce Almighty, did I play another Debbie? No. Yes. Yes. I'm Jennifer Aniston's sister, Debbie. In the Netflix series, Glow, does Lisa play yet another Debbie? Yes.

No, she plays Laureen. She plays Laureen in an episode titled Debbie Does Something. But that's kind of a trick question because I'm Debbie's mom. I'm the star, Debbie. Did you see Glow? Did you guys see Glow? Betty Gilpin, I'm her mom. Did I appear in the film War of the Worlds?

And did my character survive? Did you appear in the film? Yes. Correct. Did not survive. Yes. Did not survive. I really wanted to confirm today whether or not your character survived, so I did find your scenes in the film? Yes. Correct. Did not survive. I really wanted to confirm today

whether or not your character survived, so I did find your scenes in the film. Man, Tom Cruise just fucking leaves you behind. Just leaves me. You're like, oh my god, we found each other. It's so good to see you. 30 seconds later, alien on the hill, gone.

Dead in the water. Wait a minute, here's a fair point. Did you see the movie War of the Worlds? Okay, so I'm there with my actual daughter in real life because Steven Spielberg and Tom love that I had four kids. I live in a shoe. I have eight million children.

So we're all talking about our kids. My vagina's a clown car. These are the jokes. So I went to leave because I did a first scene where I'm a bartender that Tom Cruise sleeps with. And that's why he's late getting to his kids at the very beginning of the movie. And then they looked at dailies and they figured out that Tom Cruise looked like a total whorebag and not a good dad at all. Is that why your character is called Bartender?

Yes. And I looked for that scene and it's gone. Yes. And you want to hear some even better shit? Who's an actor in here? Nobody. Good. Good. Only I have an it's gone. Yes. And you want to hear some even better shit? Who's an actor in here? Nobody. Good. Good. Only I have an early call time. Okay.

So I played a bartender and I was all slutty. I was really very hot. And Tom Cruise like was kissing on my neck and through the whole scene and I'm like there's no way I'm bartender in this scene. So when they gave me a choice of jewelry when I was getting in wardrobe, there was like a name necklace which I'm in jersey i'm like this bitch has a name necklace i know that and it said cheryl and i'm like i'm cheryl now and he goes he sees me in the bartender scene

and he's like so cheryl listen come over here and i'm like yeah because now i got a name fucker but it's still bartender that's cool in the That's cool. In the credits. It's bartender. Bartender. So what's funny is I said, wait, this scene must have been in the beginning of the movie. So I look for a bar in the first five minutes of the movie and it makes sense that's where it should be. That's where it is. Can't find it. Keep going, you keep going, you can go. And then all of a sudden it's like, Cheryl, there

you are. You hadn't been there before. And I said that to them. I said nobody knows who the hell I am or why he knows me. But it actually feels like a kind of lived in world. You're like, oh, this is just Cheryl. I said nobody knows who the hell I am or why he knows me. But it actually feels like a kind of lived in world. You're like oh this is just Cheryl. I guess we're Exactly. And by the way you know Spielberg's

done this a time or two. Yeah he knows what he's doing. We're not going to say look this is Fableman we're talking about. And in fact listen to this. Remember when video cameras used to be like this big and you could. No because you're all 30. I remember. I remember. You didn't shoot on your phone. There were cameras that you have to tote around.

And my daughter, whose father is, I'm Catholic, my ex-husband's Jewish, lovely gentleman. My older two kids are Jewish, and my daughter was getting her bat mitzvah. So when they told me, bring one of your kids, she was having her birthday and her bat mitzvah in like two weeks. So I'm like, Delia, you're coming with me. So she was

my kid in real life and in the scene. And I'm like, I'm going to produce the shit out of her bat mitzvah video. We're opening it with Tom Cruz. So I had a purse. So I pull a purse of my video camera out of my purse. And I'm like, okay, Tom, sing happy

birthday to my daughter. And they like tried to like get the camera from me, but he already loved me from when we were making out. So he's like, nobody touched Lisa. She could do whatever she wants. That's her camera. She rolls. So they have all these people around Tom Cruise when he's going to run to the boat and they're all stunt people to protect Tom. Well, when he goes over the side of the boat, we lose that whole phalanx of stunt people. And now it's just me and 3,000 extras running down a dock to the end with a boat. And Daniel Francaise, the comic, do you know him?

Big guy from Mean Girls. He's got a gun. And I'm like, you really have to stop me because this is my actual daughter. I'm getting through you if you don't really stop me. He gun butts me in the hip. I had a bruise this big for a month and a half. And then my daughter, who's getting jostled

by all these real people, has got a bloody nose. I don't know this. I hear from a boat in the middle of the Hudson River, Spielberg going, great take, Lisa, perfect. And Janusz Kaminski is the DP. He goes, flag. And everybody goes, he's Polish, flag. Perfect. And Janusz Kaminski is the DP. He goes, flag. And everybody goes, he's Polish, flag. So flag on the play.

He goes, the little girl. And I look down. My daughter's got blood running down her face like this. And Spielberg goes, you can die in this movie, but you can't see a little kid bleed. And I went, Spielberg knows this. Because he works with kids. But down the side of the boat comes like rappelling

Tom Cruise down the side of the boat. He lands in front of me, grabs the camera out of my purse and goes, this is for the lawsuit and starts filming her. We got that. Incredible. Incredible. We have to leave it. That's amazing. That's it. We have no more stories. That's it. Lisa Ann Walter, go watch

Abbott Elementary. Thank you so much. That was so much fun. When we come back, Matt Rogers. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by SimpliSafe. If you've ever thought about securing your home with home security, listen up.

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the code. Love it. the page, and enter the code LOVEIT. Good news, podcast fans. You can get America's number one late night show, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, as a podcast, The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert. That's right. You'll get everything you love about The Late Show, from Stephen's monologue to scintillating interviews with newsmakers and celebrities delivered straight to your ears.

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We love them both. A great listen. Listen to The Late Show Pod Show with Stephen Colbert seven days a week, available wherever you get your podcasts. Twitter might soon shuffle off this mortal coil, finally freeing us and me specifically, but we will never forget you, coffee woman. October this year of our Lord 2022, a woman tweeted, my husband and I wake up every morning and bring our coffee out to our garden and sit and talk for

hours every morning. It never gets old and we never run out of things to talk about. Love him so much. And Twitter exploded like the time I dropped all my Mentos in my daily liter of Diet Coke. It was a massacre. People replied with rage, with accusations of classism, with screeds about their grass allergies and caffeine sensitivities, and most of all, with the fury that she, not them, had the life they wanted. Coffee with someone you like? How dare you? See you in hell, coffee lady. And by hell, we mean Twitter, because you'll have to drag my phone out of my cold, uncavenated hands before I get off this godforsaken platform. If I was happy, I

wouldn't be here, and I'm here because I'm not happy. One lesson from the coffee lady, it is this. There is no sin in the content game worse than being content. That concludes our Twitter main character and memoriam. Amen. All right. And now, here to discuss the two biggest issues affecting the queer community this week, the midterms and the Cate Blanchett cinematic masterpiece, Tar, it's Matt Rogers. Hi, Matt. John. All right, thank you for being here.

Oh, thank you for having me. Good to have you. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Here's how this works. What if we started fighting? What if we did? What if we did?

Why did you have a face like it might be hot? Because it would be? Because it might be Here's how it works I'm going to ask Matt questions about Tar A film I have not seen What? I'm sorry

How have I seen it twice? I saw it once for me and once for you It's three hours Yeah, you clearly haven't seen Tar Is it not three hours? It's three hours, but it's worth going again. But I have to go once. But if it starts at nine, it's...

Over at 12, honey. And then you think about it until 3 p.m. the next day. You don't sleep. Lydia Tar lives rent-free in your mind all night. You have to see Tar. I know I have to see Tar. I'm going to see Tar right after this. All right.

First question. The best scene of the movie is obviously the one where Lydia confronts her daughter, Petra's bully, in school. Could you please help me reenact that scene with me as the bully, but know that I haven't seen the film and only can bully how I was bullied in Syosset High School? Oh, my God. I forgot that you went to Syosset High School. Here we go. Should I bully you a little? No.

What you should do is you should just kind of stay there. Because here's what happens in the film Tar starring Cate Blanchett as Lydia Tar. So basically there's a scene where Lydia Tar, who's played by Cate Blanchett, she finds out that her daughter's being bullied at school. In fact, she's being kicked by the bully. So she says, I'm going to drop my girl off at school today. And she's going to say something to the bully. So she drops the kid off and she goes, where is the bully?

So the girl says, the bully's over there. So Cate Blanchett walks up and in perfect German, which I cannot do, the following sort of happens. Hi, little girl. Yes. Just answer me with one word because you're afraid of me and I'm Cate Blanchett. Hi, little girl. Hi. Yes, hi.

I hear that you're bullying my daughter. That's going to stop. And if it doesn't, I'm going to get you. And if you think that I won't, try. Just try. Do one thing to my daughter that I don't like. I will come get you. And guess what?

If you tell anyone that I said this to you, they will believe me and not you because I'm an adult and you're a child. Are we clear? Yeah, we're clear. Correct. So that's sort of what... But imagine it in German. And one thing I forgot.

One thing I forgot. Cate Blanchett says, I'm Petra's father. So the way she introduces herself to the bully, I'm Petra's father. So the way she introduces herself to the bully is, I'm Petra's father and I have a problem with you. So think about that. You throw her off her access in such a way. She's like, wait, Petra's father. And then she's so confused, she can barely catch up to the fact that she's being physically threatened by not just a woman

that's fully grown. Cate Blanchett. A top! 100%. Something no one on this stage knows anything about. Let's just do Tar questions. We won the midterms, right? Alright, that's the answer. We won.

Alright. What are the similarities between Lydia Tarr's approach to her conducting the Mahler cycle and your approach to putting together Have You Heard of Christmas? Oh, thank you for plugging my special Have You Heard of Christmas, which streams on Showtime Friday, December 2nd. Streams on Showtime. So Lydia Tarr is, for everyone that doesn't know, played by Cate Blanchett. And she's what we call a maestro.

She is a musical genius. She is an EGOT winner. She is basically known as pretty much the closest thing to Mozart that's been since Mozart. So that's sort of her reality. I am a comedian who decided they wanted to release a pop music Christmas album. And the way I sort of learned to sing was by just making fun of other singers.

So I would describe myself as not a maestro or a genius, but I would describe myself as available on Showtime December 2nd. Do you think that first chair should always have dibs at the solo? Does holding auditions ruffle too many feathers? I love drama. I fucking am a messy little bitch. And I say hold auditions. First chair, if they can really bring it.

Earn the chair. I agree. Bring your talent to the ball. I feel like people should always be ready to audition. If you're afraid to audition, it means you're hiding something. So first chairs I think should have to throw their self in the ring. And is there some kind of audition process for

getting on Las Culturistas? Next question. What is a missed opportunity? Wait, can I tell you something? I would actually love for when Bowen is in person here in LA for you to come on Las Culturistas. I'll believe you when I see it. And for you to air this out in front of everyone is really Lydia Tarr behavior. It's very, it's actually giving top.

You just tried to podcast top me on stage. And guess what? I'm a power bottom. So I actually love it. And my response. And I'll just. Okay, power. This gentleman is very excited.

Too excited. I want you to know two things. One, I could cut this, and then no one will believe you that this happened. And two... Are you trying to Lydia Tarr me right now? I'm trying to Lydia Tarr you. Lydia Tarr me?

But it's not working because I like to be bullied. I know. Was it a... For the listening audience, I just gave a knowing glance to the audience here. Dynasty typewriter. Was it a missed opportunity not to call the area where the orchestra plays the tar pits? I don't like that pun.

I don't like that joke. I think, first of all, if you see Lydia Tar, you know that it's not, it's not, no laughing matter. Okay. This film deals with adult subject matter. It deals with themes of abuse. And it's three hours long. And for you to make a joke about it, it's just so bottom. And what is the accent

doing over the A exactly? Tar. So basically... Okay. I don't exactly know what it's doing. I guess it's opening up the A. But the thing is like, you're not saying Lydia Terror. Right. Or Tar. Well, can is, you're not saying Lydia Tehr. Right. Or Tar.

Well, can I tell you something about the film? Please. It's heavily implied that she's made up her name because she's... So this is a spoiler. Who here has seen Tar? This sucks. There's supposed to be a smart audience that's plugged in.

You haven't seen Tar not but once? You're all living in LA, the city where Tar is playing. Go see Tar now. Basically, it's revealed at the end that she's constructed this identity

to seem more serious and we find out her real name is Linda. And so, basically, it's thought that maybe Tar is an anagram for art.

Oh. God, it's thought that maybe tar is an anagram for art. Oh, God. It's. But the movie is not like lame like that. The character is lame. Shut up. Hey. Each and every one of you. Shut up.

Hey, just shut the fuck up. And I'll tell you one other thing. You should believe more people here haven't seen tar. It's crazy. As someone who hasn't seen Tar, I share your disappointment. I can't believe you haven't seen it. So I will tell you something.

I did make a plan with a friend to literally see it on Tuesday. It's one of those classic perfect flakes where both of us just pretended we didn't make, like never texted. No one canceled. No one canceled. It just didn't exist.

It just didn't exist. Oh no. We just, Tuesday night, we just lived our lives. Can I ask you a question? Can I ask you a question? Did it exist on a Google calendar for you? No. If it's on a calendar, it's real. You have to follow up. I would agree. And I should

have added it. The point is, whether or not you see Tar, that's a personal decision. But most importantly, everyone should see Have You Heard of Christmas? Streaming December 2nd. But ask all the questions, because I don't want any questions passed. I want to talk more about Tar. MattRogersComedy.com

to see if he's bringing his show to a city near you. I actually am going on tour. Matt's going on tour. So I'm going on tour. I'll be here in the city of Los Angeles on December 16th and 17th at the Fonda Theater. So you should all come, and if you're in Atlanta listening on the podcast, please buy tickets. We're doing badly in that city of Los Angeles on December 16th and 17th at the Fonda Theater. So you should all come, and if you're in Atlanta listening on the podcast, please buy tickets.

We're doing badly in that city. Thank you, Matt. When we come back, a quick round of hot takes. Can I ask one question? Hey, so how excited should we feel that the majority of the Big Lie MAGA candidates endorsed by Trump lost their elections? Can I get an amen

from the audience? Pretty goddamn excited, Matt. Thank you for your question. See how easy it was? You're telling me we couldn't fit that into the episode? You're crazy. I know. He shows up so late to the tapings of his own shows. Every single time

I come and do this show, every time I come and do this show, he's coming in five minutes before, and then we've got to take pictures. Crooked Coffee is all about making your life a little less chaotic, so we just launched three limited edition... You need to drink some coffee.

It'll get you here faster. ...holiday boxes to make gift-giving easy. Each box is filled with full-size bags of delicious medium and dark roast coffee. Plus a fun activity that isn't scrolling through Twitter. Plus, this holiday season, every order from Crooked Coffee supports Vote Save America's Every Last Vote Fund. Pick from three different boxes for three types of people. Do you think you could do Hot Ones?

Do you think you're famous enough to book Hot Ones? Honestly, here's what happened. I was going up, but they went up much faster. Yeah, right. And all of a sudden, it was like they were booking podcast people. Then all of a sudden, it was like, is that Zach Galifianakis? I'm out. It's like fully Viola Davis.

It's like, oh, forget it. I had a chance, and all of a sudden it was like, what is this booking situation? Like power bottom podcasters not getting booked on house. Not happening. Craft Lover's Box with a learn to crochet kit inside and a home baker box that has an apple cider donut kit.

Crooked.com slash coffee. Now it's time for Hot Takes, or they're going to kick us out of the theater. We have to do it. We're going to do one Hot Take each. Oh, my God. Everybody get out here. Yes, hurry.

Oh, my God, we're behind? Please welcome back to the stage Lisa Ann Walter, Paul Scheer, Amy Nicholson, and Matt Rogers. Now for a segment we call Hot Takes. We really flew through my segment, guys. We're so over. We each have 30 seconds to defend a never-before-seen shit opinion as if

it were deeply held conviction. We each get one skip, but if you skip, you probably live with eternal regret with what you'll be forced to defend. Let's see the Hot Takes. I'm so upset. We're going to talk about it. We are going to talk about it. I'm not really upset. I'm having a great time.

I can think of at least three takeaways from Elon's leadership style at Twitter that I'd like to implement at Crooked. Are you fucking... Skip. Give me another one. I can't defend that. Not possible. Congress is getting a little too gay for me. I don't want a bunch of himbos making laws. You only have one skip.

You have to do this one. I'm going to do this one. You have to. Look, Congress is getting a little too gay for me. And honestly, it is hard enough to get a bunch of Democrats to do anything without dealing with intra-gay tension and drama.

Matt and I did a seven-minute segment in which we fought six times. That's true. About six different things. We could not agree even on the nature of the segment itself. Nancy Pelosi has a hard enough job without wrangling homosexuals.

Thank you. Great job. Thank you. Let's see what's next. All right, great. That was a great one. All right, great. Can I just say it and go into it?

Here's the deal, people. Gwyneth Paltrow and Katy Perry really have their finger on the pulse of the needs of everyday Angelenos. And I thank them for using their influence to advocate for every man Rick Caruso. Here's the deal. Rick is a good guy. No, Rick is a good guy.

Because he, we all love the Grove, right? The Grove is pretty cool. Saw Tar there twice. All I'm saying is, picture the fountains with the Sinatra music. We put that wherever a homeless encampment is. We replace homeless people with fountains. And how do we pay for the fountains?

We make the homeless people work for free. And here's the thing. Katie and I and Gwyneth agree. Homeless people are scary. I don't want my house to be broken into and this guy knows he'll shoot them on sight oh my god nice way to go that was very defended all right next up way to go paul amy you're up the profession of film critic is a good argument against liberal arts degrees because honestly if there's anything that I've really learned from Twitter and I cannot wait to learn more under Elon Musk's tenure it's that everybody has a great opinion and

honestly I believe that everybody on Twitter is like an actual scholar with a liberal arts degree they're very educated in the history of cinema so when people send me death threats for not liking who be Halloween that was you it's pretty good I respect that, you know, and I feel like you're showing me every day how worthless my education is, and it really, it helps me get centered, and it helps me have humility,

because if we know anything about critics in every movie ever, critics are snobby, they hate food, they hate cinema, they're mean and ratatouille, critics are awful, and thank you, thank you for putting me in my place.

Thank you, Amy. Beautifully defended. Let's see what's next. I thought Michael and Ashley Darby would last a lifetime. Matt, take it away. I'm curious to just see what the next one is. Let's see what's next. You thought the gay guy would take the... Oh!

Let's hear it. Jennifer Coolidge is getting too much White Lotus screen time and the prosthetic penis isn't getting nearly enough. I genuinely do feel that Jennifer Coolidge is a little over-excited about her praise for season one. It almost feels like she's pushing a little bit hard. In the first episode of White Lotus season two, which I'm calling Italian hoes,

I think the best part of White Lotus season two is the Italian hoes and I think the best part of White Lodal season two is the Italian hoes, and I want to see more of them. I do think at the end of episode two, it got a little interesting with Jennifer Coolidge because she found out that the husband is sort of trifling. So now I'm excited. But I feel like with Jennifer Coolidge,

I want to see more of the layer. She's a really talented actress. I don't need to see the big set piece comedically. I want to see the interior. I want to explore Tanya McQuad. So that's how I feel. All right. All right. Thank you to explore Tanya McQuad. So that's how I feel. All right. All right.

Thank you. Matt found the truth in it. And the penis and more penis. All right. Let's see what real penis. Yeah, for sure. Jesus Christ. The only thing easier than being a mother is being a teacher.

Do you want to do that one or a different one? Let's just see what the next one is. Is being a teacher, do you want to do that one or a different one? Let's just see what the next one is. Y'all got to get over the parent trap. Lisa Ann, take it away. Okay. Listen, y'all really got to get over the parent trap. I mean, first of all, when is it ever?

I know that we have an entire generation of young people that didn't feel like their own family loved them. Their parents were all fighting each other. You had a dream that maybe if you just finagled and lied enough, you could get them to stop fighting and get back together. There are some queer kids out there that really needed to have somebody like Chessie so that they could feel accepted and loved. You guys get to still watch the movie.

But everybody else who dreams that you are going to one day get a guy who owns a vineyard that looks like Dennis Quaid 1996. Not Dennis Quaid now. I love him, but if all of you who are dreaming that that's going to be

your life and that you're going to grow up and you're going to find your twin and you're going to have a magical life, just look at what Lindsay Lohan had to go through. You don't want, look, she's doing good now. But there's a lot of drama, a lot of sadness, a lot of tragedy around the parent trap. You guys move on. Just move on. Wow. A fitting note. But if you were a queer kid and you grew up loving it, you still get to love it. Hell yeah. And that's Hot Takes. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Now it's time for this week's high notes. Hey, love it. This is Jen from Baltimore, Maryland. And my high note is that I'm a

volunteer phone bank leader for the Pennsylvania Democrats, and our volunteers made over 1.5 million calls in the last four days of the campaign. I'm incredibly proud of the work we did to get Democrats elected for governor, U.S. Senate, and all the other statewide and local races. Also, one of our volunteers thanked me for using inclusive language to talk about how abortion is an issue that pregnant people should be able to decide for themselves. And I felt really good about that. We are the party of kindness and inclusivity, and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the next few years. Love the show. Thanks for everything. Hi, I love it. This is Emily from Chicago. My high note is that I have had an extra six days in county with my dog of seven years

after I found out she has a little tumor on her heart. We've been able to do one special thing every day, and I'm just so grateful to save her all this extra time with her. A good reminder to cherish your time spent with the people and pets in your life. So now I'm off to listen to your podcast and take her on a long W-A-L-K. Thanks for all you do. Bye. Hi, Lovett. This is Missy from Omaha, Nebraska.

And my high note this week, it did occur on election night last night. But despite some wins and losses here in Omaha, it wasn't related to the results themselves. My 10-year-old daughter and I have been volunteering with some of her friends and their parents for Women Who Run, which is an organization focused on getting more women elected in Nebraska. We've been going every Wednesday for the last couple of months leading up to the election, and our kids have been putting together lit bags, you know, stamping postcards, even doing some phone banking and canvassing the last few weeks. So we got invited to the big Democratic Watch Party downtown,

and Women Who Run had a VIP room that was decorated with posters that all of our kids had made for each candidate. They got these special VIP badges, and they were walking around like they owned the place. It was just so awesome to see their excitement to meet the candidates and just have all this confidence as they were talking to all of these adults. I've been dragging my daughter with me for years to different events, political events and canvassing. The Women Who Run made it fun and cool to be an activist, and I'm so grateful for that.

So while we didn't win all of the races I'd hoped for, I've seen the future in these girls, and I know it's bright. Thanks for all you do. Hello. My name is Betsy. My high notes are first finishing chemo for stage three cancer and hopefully being cancer-free forever. first finishing chemo for stage three cancer and hopefully being cancer free forever my next high note is being an election worker on tuesday and having none other than our favorite podcaster

john lovett come into our vote center to vote and my last high note is returning back to seeing love it or leave it live thank you so much john for making that happen and now i have something to look forward to again on thursday nights after some really shitty and dark times. Thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. That is our show. Thank you so much to Lisa Ann Walter, Paul Scheer, Matt Rogers, Amy Nicholson, and Anne Helen Peterson. There are 24 days until the Georgia runoff.

Fuck. Have a great weekend. Have a great weekend. Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer, and Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pallavi Gunalan, and Peter Miller are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor, and Kyle Seglin and Stephen Colon are our audio engineers. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers,

Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Nar Melkonian, Zuri Ervin, and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroot for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at youtube.com slash c slash Crooked Media.