Lovett or Leave It - Oh no more candidates!

Episode Date: April 6, 2019

Democratic presidential candidates are competing on fundraising, policymaking, and apology giving. Brexit is a MESS. And the Times reveals the secret market research on Trump and his cronies. Gabe Liedman, Tre'vell Anderson, and Patti Harrison join Jon to break down the week's news, and rant about Tabasco Sauce, vegetarian whoppers, Herman Cain, and the injustice endured by Patti when she was not cast in the film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's classic musical Cats.

Hey everybody, we are back in studio for Love It or Leave It, the Rare Studio Edition. Some housekeeping, we're going on tour. There are still some tickets left for our Boston show on April 10th. Andrew Yang almost sold out. So Yang Gang, get your tickets now. Those are going to go. One night only, Yang at the Wang. So just buy those tickets.

And then we'll be in Texas on May 2nd, May 4th, and May 5th. May 2nd in Houston. Reminder, a lot of those are available. Can't get people in Houston out of their houses. Dallas and Austin, people want to see the show. They're pumped about it.

Not a lot of tickets left, so get those too. But Houston. Go to crooked.com slash events to get your tickets. You could meet Alisa in person. Alisa has a look on her face like she doesn't give a shit. All right. Before we start the show, I'd like to talk about two things. One is the fact that people are starting to leak from this Mueller investigation.

We thought they would. We hoped they would. They finally are, and they are angry. And we learned the Mueller team is quite surprised by the conclusions drawn by Attorney General Barr and that they wrote summaries meant for the public at the beginning of each section, outlining the malfeasance and wrongdoing and criminality of the Trump administration. And they were stunned to discover that Bob Barr decided Bill Barr, Bob Barr, Bill, who gives a shit?

Rick Barr decided that he was going to overrule the 48 month investigation. I say this only because it's important, but part of the reason they've been able to get away with this is because of the apparatus they have at Fox News that has managed to not only make a case to their base, but bully the rest of the media in calling this a huge success for Donald Trump. There was a New York Times story, very long investigation into the Murdoch family. And the reason I bring it up is because it's a really important story and everybody should read it. Secondarily, not as important, not a big deal. I'm in it. And look, it's not the first time I've been in the New York Times.

And it's not the last time, because presumably at some point I'm going to die. last time because presumably at some point I'm going to die. But basically, I was at a very fancy dinner. I was seated next to someone named Catherine Murdoch. I saw the name Murdoch. I thought to myself, I'm going to talk to this lady about Fox News. We had a very long conversation about Fox News. Turns out she is not as sympathetic to her family's media organization as you might expect. Anyway, this was all in this story, but basically she's like, well, you should meet Lachlan. I was like, I don't want to meet Lachlan Murdoch. I don't want to, I don't, like, first of all,

I don't have like a poker face. I'm not good at poker. I used to play poker when I was in DC with a lot of really smart people who were in the government. And at the end of every night, I just be like, can I just pay $20 to you guys and we can like hang out? Like, I'll just give you the money and we can just hang out because I'm never,

you're smarter than me. And I'll just give you the money and we can just hang out because I'm never, you're smarter than me and I don't know how to bluff. So anyway, I think there are people that are better at being at like a party with those that they despise and saying,

hello, how do you do? And all the rest. But like, I just start yelling and I don't know how to stop. And like, not in like a charming way,

not in a way that's like, wow, he sure did get the better of that person. Like in a kind of obnoxious way, like just sort of interrupt people and just get really mad. But so anyway, I ended up meeting Lachlan Murdoch

and I just, it wasn't like I said, hello, like I'd like to say something about Fox News. I just like, I just blurted out, you proud of what's happening on your network? You proud of what's happening from eight to 11? You think Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and Tucker Carlson are good for the world? And then he responded by saying something like,

oh, you think everybody should be Rachel Maddow. And then he turned around and went away. There was some moment where he said, well, who do you like? What conservatives are acceptable to you? And someone else chimed in. I believe it might have been Catherine Murrick chimed in. The point is, it's a very uncomfortable moment. And that's fine.

That happens. I yelled at him. I felt very sweaty and uncomfortable. The moment was over. And then, and it's in the New York Times. Again, no big deal. Something I'm used to. But then the Daily Mail finds the little section of the article in which I mentioned, and they do one of their picture posts where they take a lot of different pictures and write an insanely long summary of this thing. Headline does not have my name. It does say Ronan Farrow's boyfriend does X, Y, or Z. And honestly, that part doesn't

bother me. All right. Not having my name, being associated with someone else, being a plus one, that's cool. My life is basically a plus one world tour. I don't mind that at all. Don't mind any of it. Except when you click on the article it said here pictured is love it talking to Lachlan Murdoch at the party it is not a picture of me that's one but there is a picture of me right below which is a picture I took at a Boston music festival in which they made me stand in front of one of those step-in repeats and I was not feeling very attractive. I was not interested in taking the photo. I should have not taken the photo, but it's basically a mugshot with my arms crossed in front of the Boston Calling Festival step and repeat where I look as bad as I've ever looked. So there was an

article that describes a conversation I had at a party. The headline is about how I'm someone's boyfriend. The photo with Lachlan Murdoch is one I am not in. And the only picture of me in the article is the worst picture I've ever taken. We've got a great show. I am very excited about this panel. I'm looking at them right now. Their outfits are very well coordinated

and they look really good together. And they're all stars. Just aggressively looking at the panel before I introduce them. She's a comedian, actor, writer, and co-host of the podcast, A Woman's Smile. Please welcome back Patty Harrison. I appear. Huh? No, I designed the experience so that the mic would be up here, and I'm screaming down here. They're a writer for Out Magazine, the Los Angeles Times, and they've contributed to publications such as HuffPost, Chicago Tribune, and the Baltimore Sun.

Please welcome back Travelle Anderson. Hi, Travelle. Hello, how are you? I'm so good. Wonderful. How are you doing? I am here. Good.

Okay. He's a comedian, writer, producer, known for his work on Pen15, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Broad City, and he just announced today a new gay James Bond animated show on Netflix. Those have every single word of that description makes me excited. Every single one.

Gay, James, Bond, animation, show, Netflix. Please welcome Gabe Liedman. Thank you. So good to have you. Oh my God. This is a long time coming. I cannot believe it took till 2019 to get you on this show. What's that about? I don't know.

What's the meaning there? I don't know. I know. I'm thrilled to be here, Gabe. What a panel. Look at this. I had to ask to be here. That's a lie. And that's the world.

That's the world. Some people get asked. Some people have to ask. Well, I sent in a lot of emails. I sent a lot of emails. I sent many follow-up texts. And then there was no response. And then I finally just came here. and they said, you need to leave.

And I said, are you going to move me? And then they let me in. Wow. And here we are. All right, let's get into it. What a week. Great. Great, great, great.

Well, it's April of 2019. Spring is in the air. April Fool's jokes are behind us. The bad corporate ones, the good corporate ones that we're not supposed to think are funny, but even though deep down we found it a little bit funny, and maybe it's a little bit charming, like one day a year we get a little puckish, you know? Even like McDonald's. And because it is April, Democrats are running for president.

The green rooms of CNN and MSNBC are packed to the rafters with candidates. They made John Delaney bring his own love mic. Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan, most famous for challenging Nancy Pelosi, also joined the fray. He told a story of his daughter's friend's father losing a job after a plant closure. Here's what he said. My daughter called me and she said, you got to do something. And I said, I'm going to do something. I'm going to run for president of the United States. We're going to make sure this doesn't happen anymore, Ryan recalled. Fascinating true story. If my dad ever said that.

I would laugh in his face until I threw up if my dad ever said anything like that. That's insane. You're being unfair about a true story that definitely happened, that definitely describes a moment between him and his daughter that happened in the world that really happened. For sure. You know, before we did this show,

I wasn't even sure if we were going to do this show tonight. And then Pundit, my dog, came to me and she said, what are we going to do about corporate consolidation? And I said, we have to do something. We have to do an episode of Love It or Leave It. We also learned this week that Kamala Harris, who once smoked weed, announced she raised $12 million in the first quarter.

Not to be outdone, Bernie Sanders, the old guy who saw a bird once, announced he raised $18.2 million in the quarter. Beto O'Rourke, who's going to hit his head on a ceiling fan one of these days, announced that he raised more than $9 million in just the last 18 days. People love giving him money. Mayor Peter, Tom and Baratheon Buttigieg is starting to be taken seriously,

which means people dug up some old stuff about him, like how one time out of context he said the word all lives matter. Also, Frank Bruni wrote an op-ed in New York Times called Pete Buttigieg is plenty gay, which I didn't know was in dispute and still believe is not. Elizabeth Warren, who is leaving her competitors in the dust on policy, proposed new corporate reforms, including one that would lead to criminal charges against CEOs when their companies break the law and hurt people.

Elizabeth Warren has the incredible ability to come up with a policy and then all the other candidates say me too, like when a woman has a good idea and a brainstorm and then a man just says the same idea louder. Too true? Okay. And finally, Joe Biden was forced to release a video where he promised to stop smelling people's hair, but refused to apologize for past hair smelling.

He does seem to get that he has to learn that his hugs and physical contact, even if offered with the best of intentions, made people uncomfortable, but seems not yet ready to say he's sorry. Also, in 2020 news, Howard Schultz blamed both sides for Trump threatening to shut the border. So that guy's still out there getting coffee all over the flag. both sides for Trump threatening to shut the border. So that guy's still out there getting coffee all over the flag. Travelle, start with you. What is your 30,000 foot view of all these candidates announcing? Like when you saw today that Tim Ryan was announcing his candidacy, was your thought, finally someone I can get behind? Or who's Tim Ryan? Or I didn't know more people were going to announce? Or when is this going to stop?

It's entirely too many people running. I'm just like, at this point, it's like if you haven't announced and people are talking about Biden still potentially coming into the race. Like, I don't care. Like, if you haven't announced yet, I feel like no one cares. Like, everybody just sit down, go to the beach or something. I don't know. We don't need you running for president. I think if you don't beat Biden, you've missed your chance.

You got to get in. Biden needs to shut the door behind him. You think so? If he does it like tomorrow, no one else can announce. I think they missed their chance. Oh, I have a Stacey Abrams codicil exception. Like the contract. We will accept Stacey Abrams said that she might wait until the fall

I think that's kind of cool because I think there's a chance that like basically we're going to be here for the next six months and like every two weeks a different candidate's going to have a moment like there'll be the Delaney boom and like there'll be the Yang bang and then there'll be the like and then they'll all be stuck at 10%

and then Stacey Abrams will be like hey and we'll be like hey Patty Joe Biden thoughts? And then they'll all be stuck at 10%. And then Stacey Abrams will be like, hey. And we'll be like, hey. Patty, Joe Biden. Thoughts? I think he is a wonderful guy. You know, I haven't spent a lot of time with him.

But the time that I have spent with him has been really warm. And I miss him. Gabe. Gabe. Yeah. Elizabeth Warren has been once a week putting out a policy proposal that for any other campaign would be among the biggest proposals of that campaign. She's doing it once a week.

She did that on taxes. She did that on consolidation around ag. She did that on tech. She's doing it now on corporate reform. What do you make of that decision to try to be a leader on policy to try to say like that is going to be my strength? It makes perfect sense to me. She is like dead serious and her being in the race makes me that's one of the things I like about her is that she is someone who actually does shit, has a lot of fire, has been working for a really long time. So that's the strength of hers that I would lead with if I was advising her. Anything to get away from the one time in history that she stooped to Trump level bullshit. I think just like stay classy, work hard.

She's kind of the candidate for like people who want a serious fucking president already. So why not lead with that? There's also plenty of other people running that I would happily vote for. I just feel like Elizabeth Warren is like, she's presenting herself as the serious candidate at this point. But like, I don't think people care. Like you mentioned that she's been doing this thing weekly. And that's the first time I've heard of it happening.

It is true that if her strength is going to be policy, she's making policy central to this campaign. I don't know if she's funny. I don't know. You know what I mean? I don't know if she's cool. But I do know if I had to describe her in a couple of words, it would be kind of presidentially type shit. I also think, you know, we get wrapped around the axle in terms of this conversation around electability and we don't

really know what that means, right? People are like, oh, I want someone who can win. Obviously, we all want someone who can win. And I think often that becomes a proxy for saying, I just want somebody A, safe, and B, looks like presidents in the past, which is why you see people saying that someone electable, someone like Joe Biden, someone safe. But at the same time, I also think one of the things we have said again and again is we don't know what it means to be electable, right? Donald Trump wasn't supposed to be electable. Here we are. And so if you put aside electability, whatever that term means, what's left with is who do you want to be president? And I think she's going out there and saying, you fucking want me in that room. You want me to be the one making these

hard calls. You want me the one who's going to be your advocate. I think there's been a lot of questions about whether or not she will catch on, but it's a long process. And I think their bet is she's going to go talk to people. She's doing a great job on the ground. She's hired really good people. She's saying some of the smartest things about policy that over time she will slowly build up support because she's out there saying, here's what I plan to do. And it's what you want someone to do. And it does seem like there's been a lot of conversation around, we need someone to be bold.

We need someone to really lay out a progressive vision that goes farther than what candidates have done in the past. And she's striking that balance between what Bernie has activated and what the establishment has sort of supported or kind of acced have done in the past. And she's striking that balance between what Bernie has activated and what the establishment has sort of supported or kind of acceded to in the past. Patty, what do you make of this Mayor Pete moment where people are really taking a look at this 37-year-old gay mayor from South Bend, Indiana? I think it's really incredible that people get really excited to see someone who, you know, supply and demand, you know, people can walk in and find exactly what they want in him and that. And then they go to, I'm so sorry. I'm describing a store.

I was thinking of a store. Oh, you were thinking of a store. Yeah. No, I see the problem. I confused him for a store. You confused him for a store. Yeah, I'm really sorry. We come back.

Okay, stop. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Now it's time for a game called OK Stop. But today's version is going to be a little different because it's about Brexit. Across the pond, Prime Minister Theresa May has been desperate to leave the EU with a deal, but everything she proposes has been roundly voted down. More and more, it looks like the United Kingdom is either headed for a no-deal Brexit, which would be horrible for the economy of

the UK, or a second referendum to remain in the EU. We wanted to highlight just how chaotic things have gotten in the debate. If you want to comment about what's going on in the clip instead of saying okay stop today we're going to be saying oh wait what's all this then other options were uh hang on a minute that's all i'm doing i'm not doing anymore cancel the show they're not gonna let us do more podcasts after this let's roll it order order They're not going to let us do more podcasts after this. Let's roll it. Order! Order. Oi, what's all this then? Yes, Gabe? They all nodded and then took one tiny step in unison,

like a little dressage. I don't know what they're doing over there. Yes. It was kind of a horse dance. What was it called? It was synchronized nodding and then one little proud step, like a little pony who's in a show. That's what they do over there.

I loved it. It already seems so silly. It seems like a Skittles commercial. It seems like something really silly is about to happen. To the right, 310. Oh, it was all to send. Look at her lanyard. Yeah.

She's proudly wearing a lanyard. That's how they get her on the floor. Am I stopping it too much? No one said anything yet. Okay, great. Great. Yeah, yeah. Left, 310.

The eyes to the right, 310. The nose to the right, 310. The nose to the left, 310. Order in accordance with precedent. And on the principle that... What's all this then? I'm sorry. I can picture this guy at 11, 12 years old. This boss is a fat little bully.

For sure. And I hate him. Wow. That's a lot, because so far all he's done is said, order! And he does seem like he's about to kill William Wallace, though. Decisions should not be taken except by a majority.

I cast my vote with the no's. So the no's have it. Oh, I was so disturbed. Just before we move forward, I just have to clarify. Is this Harry Potter?

We're not watching Harry Potter. No, I know it sounds like Harry Potter because of the accent, but actually it's a parliament. None of them are magic. Their one trick might be destroying England. Okay, so I just got to stop you there. It's not a trick, it's a spell. Okay, it's a spell.

Sorry, I don't... Okay, if we're going to watch Harry Potter, you've got to respect the world of Harry Potter. Okay, you can keep playing Harry Potter. However, Brexit is already costing the UK around a billion pounds a week in lost growth. That fault lies with the Prime

Minister, who is the architect of the withdrawal deal. So can she finally concede to the House? She is liable, responsible, culpable for the chaos which is the Brexit debacle, and when she will be resigning. Oh, wait, what's all this then? Oh, wait, what's all this then? How great would it be if once a week Donald Trump had to get in that car, drive over to the House of Representatives, and just get fucking yelled at by Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer? That would be magnificent. And I love the rolling grumble, the sort of building constant reaction to the person speaking.

It's like the Rudy slow clap. Right. You know, it's getting me jazzed. Yeah, exactly. Mr. Speaker, the only problem with the prime minister's answer is that her deal has been twice defeated in this house by, in one case, Mr. Speaker, the largest ever. Okay, I can't do an accent thing, so I'm just going to say fish and chips. Does that work? Yep, you can do it.

Okay, I just wanted to point out that... Well, you can do it. Fish and chips? Okay. Okay. I just want to point out, like, the one black person is finally on screen. She's in the background. She's not speaking, but we're there.

You're in the House of Commons. And she's wearing pink, so, like, she's got a little fashion sense. You're in the House of Commons. And she's wearing pink, so she's got a little fashion sense. It's part of their great tradition that when someone is speaking, everyone should be very rude. It's like, this is our government, and it's time to lead, which means being very rude to people you disagree with.

Interrupt them with mocking tones and just be like, Oh! We don't do that in the US. And maybe it's maybe it would help, you know, let off some steam. It's like way worse. Yeah, we do. Like, it's like, you know, there was that caning around around the Civil War, but it's been a while since they caned anybody down there. Your government has lost a vote in our recorded parliamentary history.

So it's a bit strange when a Conservative Prime Minister says she doesn't want what the business community want. These are indeed strange times, Mr Speaker. Oh, it was solve this then. This guy, what a job. I went from hating him to loving him. What I love about this guy is he is in on the joke. He's got a smile on his face. He loves that this is his job.

Does anyone know who he is? Is he a member of parliament? This old red screaming man is giving me life. Difference of opinion is of the essence of politics. There is an elaborate combination of finger wagging and head shaking going on. Oh, I was so just in. Difference of opinion is...

I also love the idea that he is yelling order, order at a group of screaming old people, and then decides to make a very complicated and sophisticated argument about the nature of politics, like order! Difference is what makes us great! We are all coming together a very complicated and sophisticated argument about the nature of politics. Like, oh, duh. Difference is what makes us great.

We are all coming together to argue about what makes us different, and that's good. Well, look, all the blood vessels in his eyes are like bursts. He's like, oh, duh. Everything all right over there? Yeah, like that. Yeah, we went to the same acting school together. And that's, oh wait, what's all this then?

We come back. We're going to play a game about polls. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way. And we're back! Earlier this week, the New York Times figured out a new way to make Donald Trump angry at them on Twitter. They ran a story by Annie Carney who obtained secret e-score ratings of the president and his inner circle. An e-score is not just when you buy drugs on Twitter.

It's also a market research metric for celebrities and brands that lets Hollywood bigwigs and advertising twerps figure out who gets to be on TV and who is banished to a lowly podcast. The number is put together by ePoll, and it's based on polling that regular people do online in exchange for gift cards. That is not a joke. Unless you pay $17,000 a year for an eScore subscription, these numbers are normally private. But thanks to the New York Times, we can share some of this information with you,

all in the shape of a game called Don't Feed the Polls. I'm going to give the panel a word, and your job will be to figure out who was most likely to be described by that word based on e-score survey responses collected between 2016 and today. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Question one.

Respondents in 2016 were asked whether or not they would describe a person as creepy. From highest percentage to lowest, who did they find most creepy? Donald Trump, Woody Allen, or R. Kelly? Who do you guys think? Who was the most creepy? Who was the least? I'm calling Woody Allen.

You're saying Woody Allen was most creepy? What do you think? I'm going to assume that the majority of the people that were polled were white. So I'm going to go with Woody Allen as well. Because if they were black, it would be R. Kelly is the point. No, I got it.

Okay, just making sure. Who was the other person? Donald Trump. That one. And R. Kelly. So you think it goes Allen, Trump, Kelly. What do you think, Patty?

Mine is slightly different in that I think it's Allen, Trump, and Kelly. But it's slightly different because it came out of my mouth. Right. No, I get it. Gabe, what do you think? I'm in agreement.

I think that sounds right. I think that's what most people would think. Close, but not correct. 26% are Kelly. 35% Woody Allen. 40% Donald Trump. Wow. Interesting.

Interesting. He strikes me as a lot of horrific things, but creepy would not be the word. I mean, he's a fucking creep. Look, I think you're making it very clear that you don't think he's creepy. You kind of like him. Look, did I vote for him? Yeah.

Will I do it again? Yeah. But is he a creep? Yeah. And a talented songstress. And a talented songstress. And a talented songstress. Question two. Rank the following in order of who was most often described as funny.

Ivanka Trump, Emma Stone, the Geico Gecko. Three powerful women in Hollywood. Everyone on earth think that Ivanka is kind of serious, right? Sure. Okay, good. And then a big toss-up between Geico Gecko and Emma Stone because they are the same age and weight, but if it were up to my mom, my mom loves the Geico Gecko,

like truly loves the Geico Gecko. I recently gifted her a blanket with pictures of the Geico Gecko, Judge Judy, and Hugh Jackman on it because those are her three interests and her only three. But if it were up to America, I think that they probably think Geico Gecko, Silly Second, Emma Stone, Girl Boss, Yas Queen, number one. What do you think, Trevon? second Emma Stone, girl boss, Yas Queen, number one. What do you think, Trevall? I'm going to go with, wait, did you say Ivanka or Ivana? Ivanka. That's the daughter, right?

100%. Okay, just checking. She's last. And then I'm going to go with the gecko and then the Asian woman. Okie dokie. Yeah. I agree. Geico, Emma, Ivanka. So you put Geico at number one. Yeah. That'sie dokie. Yeah. I agree. Geico, Emma, Yvonne. So you put Geico at number one.

Yeah. That's what you do. Yes. Travelle and Gabe. Correct. 52% say that Geico Gecko is funny. 36% say Emma Stone is funny. And coming in just behind is Ivanka Trump,

who 1% of respondents believe is funny. Aww. That's funny. That's the funniest thing she's ever been a part of. Question three. Rank the following in order of the percentage of respondents who said they disliked them a lot. Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Who did they dislike the most? Who did they dislike the least? This is most of America. This is the E-Score respondents who wanted that gift card. Including myself. I'm going to go Sarah, Jared, Ivanka. Travelle. Sarah, Ivanka, Jared.

You're really putting me in a tough spot because you're basically asking me to rank how much people dislike my acapella team. And I know that they're listening to this. That must be hard for you. It's very hard for me. I just said that. Yes, Sarah, Ivanka, Jared. You guys were not even close. That's how we know.

21% said Ivanka. 28% said Sarah Huckabee Sanders. 36% said Jared Kushner. Really? They dislike him. More people were likely to dislike him. I know. He's so likable.

What a likable figure. I'm surprised so many people know who he is. Same. Here we are. Here we are. You know, this is the world. People know who he is, and they're not interested. Famous.

Who did people dislike more between Sarah and Ivanka? Ivanka is disliked the least. Yeah. That makes sense, in a way. Question four. Rank the following in order of the percentage of respondents who describe them as trustworthy. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Kellyanne Conway, and the prescription eyewear monopoly, LensCrafters. LensCrafters is first.

Yes. You know what? I'm going to give it to you guys. LensCrafters is the most trustworthy of that group. People trust LensCrafters more than they trust Sarah Huckabee Sanders, so that's close, but twice as many people describe LensCrafters as trustworthy as Kelly

Ann Conway. Yeah. People do not trust that Kelly Ann Conway. She'll People do not trust that Kellyanne Conway. She'll prove herself. Last question. Who was the most liked from this group? Jared Kushner, Kevin Spacey after he was

canceled in 2017, or Louis C.K. after he was canceled in 2017? Most liked? Most liked. Who got the most people to say, I like this person? I bet Louis. Yeah. Which sucks.

I was going to say Kevin Spacey. Oh. Guess what, guys? It's a tie. 6% of people say they like Jared Kushner. 6% of people say they like Kevin Spacey. And 6% of people say they like Louis C.K. Wow.

In other words, that is the company that Jared Kushner is currently ranked amongst. Lucky him. And that's our game. Yeah. We come back. The Rant Wheel. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. Now it is time for the rant wheel. You know how it works. We spin the wheel wherever it lands. We rant about the topic. This week on the wheel, we have phone spam, thumb drives, the impossible whopper, Herman Kane, cut and paste laws. We have people being rejected by Cats the musical.

We have Tabasco at restaurants and Nipsey Hussle. Let's spin the Musical. We have Tabasco at restaurants and Nipsey Hussle. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Herman Cain. It has been floated by Donald Trump that Herman Cain may be appointed to the Federal Reserve Board. This follows Donald Trump's decision to nominate someone named Stephen Moore to the Federal Reserve. The Federal Reserve is an incredibly important institution that we don't talk about a lot in politics, in part because it has been kind of reliably considered outside of politics. There are plenty of people who are critical of the Federal Reserve and its policymaking. Federal Reserve is incredibly important in monetary policy. They help determine interest rates. They help determine how much cash is in circulation in the economy and how much cash

is in circulation in the economy has a big effect on inflation versus deflation and on economic growth versus economic suffering, that there is this delicate balance between having more money in the economy and not having inflation. And also there are those who say that the Federal Reserve is sometimes too restrictive about the amount of money in the economy and that hurts the ability of the economy to produce jobs. These are the kind of debates we have about the Federal Reserve. But traditionally, we expect that the Federal Reserve will be filled with competent people, economists, nonpartisan people who are there to set policy, not there to kind of score political points. And while there may be larger policy agreements about the role of the Fed,

that has been reliably true, though they've been certainly deserving of criticism. People like Alan Greenspan, people like Ben Bernanke, they're people that have been critical of the role that they served at the Federal Reserve. But what Donald Trump has done in nominating Stephen Moore, a notorious right-wing political hack who was wrong about everything, who went from the club for growth to being somebody who basically goes on television to say crazy things about the economy. He wrote a particularly insane thing about how soccer is socialist and that boys shouldn't be allowed to play soccer with girls because it's bad for boys' self-esteem. That's the level of intellect we're dealing with. Traditionally, you'd appoint an economist to the Fed. He has a master's in economics. That usually doesn't cut it. You really want someone

with a PhD, someone to really put the time in. I mean, look, we're all adults here. We know how easy you can get a master's. And a lot of masters you meet, they're not masters. Herman Cain, most famous for his Looney Tunes presidential candidacy, his 999 plan, which sounded interesting because it had three nines in it, but didn't really make a lot of sense. Also had a lot of allegations against him in terms of how he treated women. And again, who is not someone who traditionally would be appointed to the Federal Reserve. This is an incredibly dangerous thing. And, you know, we have seen Donald Trump put his mark on the courts with the help of Mitch McConnell and point an incredible number of appellate judges. He's got two judges on the Supreme Court, including one seat, which was stolen from Merrick Garland.

And now it looks like he's going to inject himself into the Federal Reserve. These are long terms. It's somebody who would be there for a long time. They have no business being there. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Rejected by Cats. Patty, I have a feeling this came from you. Cats, the musical, you know, Andrew Lloyd Webber's masterpiece is being adapted. Let's use that into motion picture form. And casting has been underway for a while.

And I think that they're pretty close to wrapping the film. And, you know, as soon as I found out, I found out with my friend Mitra Johari. And we're both Cats fanatics. I guess you could call us cat fanatics and um we really really we thought it would be a great opportunity like who else deserves just a spot in this incredible film than than us because we'd really put in the work. We both have taken, well, no dance classes, but I used to be able to do the splits, and Mitra has done an aerial before, not to completion. An aerial is a handless cartwheel.

So she fell? Hmm? So she fell down? I don't remember. Okay. And we pushed, not very much at all, to be in the movie. I think I tweeted about it twice. And then Vulture was nice enough to let us write an article that was like,

hey, can we be extras in Cats? And it was met with radio silence from the production, from the cast, from the crew especially, and the characters themselves. None of the actual characters responded. Andrew Lloyd Webber has not responded. You haven't heard from Mr. Mistoffelees? Mr. Mistoffelees and I are actually very close,

but we don't talk about it in a way that I said I would never use his status as Mr. Mistoffelees to gain access to the universe of cats. It's like, you know, if you're like an actor and you're dating a director, you don't want to like have that nepotism there. That's our relationship. But we do have like really rough bareback sex all the time. And that's our agreement. And we've been doing that for over 35 years. Sure.

And I think it's like a failure. It's a systemic failure that neither I nor Mitra were made extras in Cats. I think we're both really great. Anyone who knows me sees that like I can really open my eyes really wide like cats do when like you startle them. Like I'll say this, you know, I cry a lot because of this. I think it sucks ass. Thank you, Patty, for sharing that.

Thank you for giving me a platform. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Nipsey Hussle, which was suggested by Travelle. So for those who aren't aware, Nipsey Hussle died earlier this week after being shot randomly in South Los Angeles. For the whites that are listening that don't listen to rap, Nipsey Hussle is a rapper. Not to be confused, as I did, with Nipsey Russell, who died in 2005. And so Nipsey Hussle died earlier this week. And as people have been talking about Nipsey and like, you know, trying to honor him, there have been some people, particularly Black LGBTQ people online who've

also shared that like, you know, yes yes he died and like no one deserves to have their life taken from them but like in life he was actually pretty homophobic right and so if black LGBTQ people don't want to you know uplift somebody who wasn't looking to uplift them in life and like that's okay and like there's been this back and forth about the ways in which to like allow people to grieve and about the appropriateness of bringing up that he probably didn't care about LGBTQ people based on things that he has said. Black LGBTQ people are able to feel however the hell they want to feel about Nipsey Hussle. And if that in some way conflicts with how you would like to remember him, that's totally fine. But like this thing that we do when people die of like sanitizing their legacies and only remembering the good parts truly like betrays who that individual was and actually robs them of whatever potential there was for growth and atonement for whatever bad things they've done.

How we when we remember Martin Luther King Jr., no one talks about him being, you know, a horrible misogynist and cheating on Coretta, right? I think this is just important for us to, as we remember people, that we remember their full beings and their full selves. And if that means remembering that somebody was homophobic or transphobic or whatever the case may be, in remembering their full selves, what you do is you give space for whatever potential that they had to grow. You give space for whatever potential and atonement that they may have experienced and had not yet expressed. And for people who choose to remember those who have died in that particular way by remembering their full selves, there's not a problem with that. If you want to go remember only his good things that he did for, you know, black people in South L.A., that's totally fine. But we should keep in mind that he didn't really care about uplifting all black people.

I'm done. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Tabasco sauce at restaurants, something that I am very excited about because it is Gabe's suggestion and I am hopeful that we're on the same page. Why is Tabasco the go-to hot sauce that every restaurant gives you when you say, do you have hot sauce? It's so bad. And we're living in a post-sriracha reality. There are so many hot sauces that literally everyone has heard of. I don't get how Tabasco wiggled its sour little ass in there to be the ketchup of hot sauces when it's objectively worse than every other one. All hot sauces taste different.

worse than every other one. All hot sauces taste different. And like, I like the sort of Frank's or Crystal hot sauce, like vinegary, salty, hot, hot sauce. But there's the gloopy Asian hot sauces. There's Cholula. There's hot sauces from all around the world that we've all heard of. Every supermarket chain has their own generic version of all of these things. Tabasco tastes like something from a fifth grade science room. I am with you 100%. I'll go a step further. Uh, I don't understand how Tapatio has gotten the kind of exposure it's gotten because I also think it is an inferior hot sauce. It tastes exactly like Tabasco, but yeah. So Crystal's to me is just better Tabasco. So why is anyone messing with Tabasco?

Even the green. Green Tabasco is great. Green Tabasco is delicious. However, what is frustrating about it is it, A, tastes better, but B, it's called milder. And my problem with red Tabasco sauce is not that it's too spicy. It's not. It's that you get the spice plus that Tabasco flavor. Obviously, Cholula is fantastic.

Yes. I like Cholula. I want that to be the main option. Nice and salty. Some vinegar in there. Delicious. And now I'll say something else controversial. Sriracha, I think it really got lucky because it stepped in at a moment where

people were looking for something new. They were seeing Tabasco everywhere. They said, I need something else. I need something better. In comes Sriracha. I agree. In a black and white world, in comes Sriracha in a color. Sure. But in a black and white world. Yeah. In comes Sri Raja in a color. Sure. But there are better colors. Yes. Cholula colors. Yes.

I love Cholula. Love Cholula. I'm so glad. What if we were not on the same page? I don't know what would happen. I'll say this about Cholula. I think that wooden little top is precious. It is.

And by the way, it's non-functional. There's a plastic cap on it. Yeah, it's bullshit. And sometimes, and you too regressed with that Cholalula cap all of a sudden the wood is gone and now you've got this dinky plastic trees have died for these little caps ornamental but maybe maybe you know what we should respect what chalula did because that little wooden top said we're authentic yes we're real this is something that you can trust absolutely that comes from maybe you're gonna put it down on the table and it's going to roll off and hit the ground. Maybe.

That's part of it because like this wasn't made by a corporation. Right. This was made by like a family that like carves the wood into a circle and closes it up and seals it and ships it right to you. Knows you by name because that's what Cholula is. It's something made for you by a family. So fuck Tabasco. Listen to yourselves. What the hell are either of you

talking about? Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Stupid. Fuck. Shut up. Enough. Let's spin it again. let's spin it again it has landed on the impossible whopper it was announced that

Burger King is considering rolling out a vegetarian version of the whopper made with impossible meat which is that plant based meat alternative that tastes a lot like meat. Now, a couple points.

One, Impossible Meat gets all the flash. It gets all the pizzazz. It gets all the headlines. But quietly just doing its job, working hard, not looking for all the credit is beyond burger. And I think it's better.

That's point number one. Just throwing that out there for people. Point number two and i think it's better that's point number one just throwing that out there for people point number two i think it's great i'm excited about a vegetarian burger uh because hell no uh and i don't say hell no like hell no being a vegetarian is is lame i say hell no i don't have the good qualities that allows me to successfully be a vegetarian. Like, I find myself saying, you know what, I'm going to try to be vegetarian this week. And by the time I get to the part of the word week with an eek in it, there's prosciutto in my mouth. You know, like, I just can't make it. And actually, there was a stretch where I was successfully vegetarian, and it ended

with a kind of meat explosion, in which I like, because I didn't eat a lot of red meat for a very long time, especially growing up. And then once I went through a vegetarian phase at the other end of it, I just saw meat in a whole new and exciting way. There is a criticism, however, because here's the thing. Every once in a while, I'll say to myself, I'm going to get myself a Beyond Burger. But really, it's just a terribly unhealthy meal with a Beyond Burger. But the announcement from BK, from the king, said that it was a option for people who want to have a burger every day, but don't want to have meat every day. And it's like, we can't eat McDonald's and Burger King every day, people. It's killing us. That's point number one. Point number two, they announced that they're going to roll out the Impossible Whopper in the St. Louis area. I think it was 53 Burger King locations in the St. Louis area.

Vegetarian capital of the nation. Listen, I love this country from sea to shining sea. All right. But I've been to the Midwest. Let's start in L.A. Let's start in New York. I'll give you Chicago, maybe. I mean, Miami.

But we're starting the vegetarian burger craze in St. Louis. I want you to succeed, Burger King. I want these Impossible Burgers. Hit me. Who still eats Burger King? Okay. So that's a really good point. I don't know why anyone is choosing Burger King over McDonald's.

I don't get it. I also believe Burger King made a fundamental mistake. I'm going to say 98 when they went through their experimental new French fry phase. Does anybody remember this? Does anybody remember their fry change? Basically, Burger King decided they were going to innovate on their French fries with kind of a thicker coating. Like a battered fry. They ruined them.

It never repaired. It never got better. The Burger King fries were good. Fries were never their problem. Okay? And they ruined their fries. That's one. Two, they briefly had a chicken parmesan.

Why? I'm in the market for a fast food chicken parmesan. You can't have fast food tomato sauce. I'm just saying that they did blow it. But anyway, Impossible Whompers. I'm into it. I'm very excited about it. I love the fake meat craze.

I want meat growing in labs. I want plant-based meat that looks like meat and tastes like meat but doesn't come from cows. Very excited about it. Let's end on a high note. You know what? This is a fucked up time. Let's call on a high note. You know what? This is a fucked up time. Let's call it what it is. Fucked up.

All right. A lot of bad news. Got the attorney general saying the president's cool. We got Mitch McConnell confirming judges so fast they don't have enough fabric to make robes. But Chicago just elected Lori Lightfoot, a progressive LGBTQ black woman, the first in Chicago's history, one of the first openly gay mayors of America's largest cities. There have been some others who have noted quite publicly like, hey, don't forget me. And, you know, we won't. All right. But it's pretty cool that Chicago is making this change. And it's pretty exciting that Lori Lightfoot just won this race. And so, you know what?

At a time when we look around and we see villains all over the place, when Pundit is ready for the show to be over because it's 130 degrees in the studio, it's nice to know that we are electing progressive women, women of color in Congress, in places like Chicago, because in the long run, we're going to win, you know? I think that's cool. And that's our show. I want to thank Pundit the Dog, Patty Harrison,

Travelle Anderson, Gabe Liedman. I want to thank everybody for coming out. I want to thank Nancy Pelosi. Have a great night. It is so hot in here it's so hot in here