Lovett or Leave It - Pirro Pressure

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

John Cornyn and Tom Tillis roll over for the last time, Trump flips over Jeanine Pirro’s Reflecting Pool call, and RFK Jr turns over a new leaf (and eats it!) with a brand-new cooking show. This week, it’s Poorna Jagannathan to the rescue, as we talk HBO’s Lanterns, sex scenes after 50, and the weirdest DC superheroes of all time. Meanwhile, Eliot Glazer gets an A+ on our Terrible Gays Quiz, and we defend the indefensible with I Don’t Care, I Lovett It. Then we close out the evening with a leisurely lap of Second thoughts.Hate listening to ads? Become a Friends of the Pod subscriber for ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, Pod Save the World, Lovett or Leave It, Runaway Country, Offline with Jon Favreau, and more—plus exclusive content, including bonus episodes of Pod Save America. Subscribe now at crooked.com/friends, on Apple Podcasts, or through the Pod Save America YouTube channel.You can also request a transcript by emailing [e-mail]. Include the podcast name, episode title, and air date. Please allow 48 hours for delivery.

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capable device required availability. Speeding coverage vary. See mintmobile.com. Love it or live it. It's love it or leave it. Welcome up Los Angeles. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett.

And like that movie where people only have sex one night a year, I only have sex one night a year. We've got a great show. show for you, but first, let's get into it. What a week. Federal prosecutors dropped the vandalism charges against former Olympic canoeist David Hearn after contending for months that he had destroyed part of the reflecting pool's new lining. They finally got the DNA test results back, and it turns out David Hearn is not algae. The U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of Columbia, led by former TV judge Janine Piro, said that it had charged Hearn and three others based on, quote,

less than fulsome information from the interior department and conceded that the damage was the result of a botched installation and not vandalism. This was obvious from the beginning, of course, the claim, which apparently Janine Piro took at face value, was that the hastily applied liner was floating up to the surface in little chunks across eight acres of reflecting pool all at once because stealth Antifa ninjas were stabbing at it with knives. which never made any sense. This is America. If somebody wants to fuck up the reflecting pool,

they'd shoot it with their dad's gun. Trump, if you can imagine, was not pleased with Puro. Frankly, I think she choked. And I was disappointed with Janine Piro. Really disappointed with Janine Piro. She folded like an umbrella. No, folding is what she did

when she prosecuted an innocent, 67-year-old man because you demanded it. Janine Piro has now unfolded, also like an umbrella. Interior Secretary Doug Bergam, unhappy with his reputation as the least affair his cabinet official, doubled down on the claims of vandalism saying, quote, the evidence is clear vandals have repeatedly caused damage to the reflecting pool while saying he has video to prove it. You actually can't see anything, though, because there's this random canoe blocking the camera. So Trump reportedly summoned both Piro and Bergam to the White House for a media.

on Monday that many speculated could result in one of their firings. But who would Trump choose? The tall, rich guy saying exactly what Trump wants to hear, or the 75-year-old woman he assumes is on her period. Rumors intensified when Pura was spotted leaving the West Wing, hauling a large white box. But that was just Epstein documents for the weekly shred. No. On Tuesday, CBS reported that the box contained the documentation she brought to show Trump what actually caused the damage to the pool. Oh, you brought evidence to change Donald Trump's mind.

What is this? Your first day and also your last day? You think he wants you to show him proof that what he's been saying is obviously stupid and ridiculous? Why not just show Trump a picture of his weird little penis next to Joe Biden's dangling Delaware hog? Speaking of weenies, flopping in the breeze, two Republican senators, John Cornyn and Tom Tillis,

had threatened to block Trump's attorney, General nominee Todd Blanche over Trump's proposed $1.8 billion taxpayer slush fund for insurrectionists and Trump's settlement with the IRS that promised to never audit his family or businesses ever again. Unfortunately, standing up to Trump is like having sex with Trump. It doesn't last long and he's the only one who gets what he wants. Then after you are offered a burger on Sunday, Blanche announced that he'd rescinded the anti-weaponization fund and narrowed the IRS. immunity so that it only applied retroactively. Yes, Blanche's declaration is meaningless. The original terms of the agreement, creating the funds, stated that it may be modified only with the written agreement of the parties, which include Trump, his sons, and the Trump organization. And like Tiffany's

birthday card, this thing doesn't have a Trump signature anywhere fucking near it. You don't have to be a lawyer to understand why this is bullshit. You just have had to try to cancel a membership at Planet Fitness. It's over when they say it is. But this phony assurance was enough to satisfy John Corny and Tom Tillis, two men who believe the strippers actually really like them. Trump personally ended their political careers by endorsing their GOP primary challengers. They are about to leave the Senate. Why not go out in a blaze of glory or at the very least a blaze of not licking your executioner's greasy taint? We debated whether that was too much. Whether or not greasy taint. was extra.

Here's what Cornyn had to say when asked if he was concerned about Trump's statements, some in just the past few days praising the fund. Well, there's nothing we could do to reign in the president when he said he likes the fund and he wishes still exists, but the fact of the matter, it's dead. And that's all we could do under these circumstances. But that's not true at all. That's not all you could do under the circumstances. In fact, the circumstances had previously included an actual bill, an amendment that he could have voted for, that would have enshrined in law a banning of this fund and this ridiculous settlement.

Remember Congress and it used to pass laws to constrain the executive? Tillis and Cornyn voted against this amendment. Their two votes would have taken it from 49 votes to 51 votes. It would have been law, but they stopped it. They are so full of shit. even now when they don't have to be full of shit anymore. You're free. You don't have to do this.

They're like gorillas who are released back into the wild but only feel safe sleeping in a fucking cage. Speaking of people who should be released into the wild, HHS Secretary, RFK Jr., has officially launched his own web series, The Real Food Show. Here is the actual trailer. Hi, I'm Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., you're HHS Secretary. Welcome to The Real Food Show.

Thanks to people. President Trump, we flipped the food pyramid and put real food back where it belongs at the center of the American plate. Let's take a look at the new pyramid for a moment. So the tiny point at the bottom is the whole grains, while the large trapezoid on top is literally every other kind of food. What are we fucking do? What are we doing? What are we doing here? Maybe there's a reason the ancient Egyptians didn't build pyramids pointy side down. Also, the food pyramid was killed 15 years ago. go. I don't know why we're bringing it back at all when we already got rid of it. But of course,

that's also what we said about measles. Meanwhile, I'm traveling across America, connecting with renowned chefs to show families how to cook delicious, nutritious meals with real ingredients at all at affordable prices. America, it's time to eat real food. Let's get cooking. For decency, this clip right before Kennedy reaches into a cooler and pulls out a flatten skunk. RFK Jr. has said that the recipes on the show will include fermented items like kimchi, sauerkraut, and yogurt. Also, an ingredient I'm not familiar with called Pickle Jimothy. Oh, no. Here's a fun moment from RFK's publicity tour for the show. So what's the most exotic food that you've eaten? The most exotic. I will literally eat anything.

I don't have a gag reflex. Let me put it like that. Cheryl Hines is a lucky woman. Yes, RFK both sounds like and eats like a garbage disposal. Speaking of garbage, when pushed by CNN's Dana Bash on the recent measles outbreak in the U.S., Kennedy offered this explanation. The communities that are suffering from measles are almost all religious communities that just don't vaccinate. The mennites have not vaccinated since 1796 since Edward Jenner invented this smallpox vaccine.

It's hard to blame that. As much as you want to blame them. No, I don't want to blame you. I'm asking you because you have a very powerful voice on these issues. I want to blame him. We're seeing the worst measles outbreak in 35 years because more and more people aren't vaccinating their children. Has the Mennonite population exploded?

Are people flocking to the fucking horse and buggy? If not, I'm not to be. sure we can blame the Mennonites, many of whom actually have received vaccinations. Also, it's a convenient people to blame because you know they won't see this. Where are the remaining Epstein files? Oh, we gave them to the Amish for safekeeping. Kennedy did ultimately concede that he wants people to get vaccinated for measles. Do you want people to get the MMR vaccine? Yeah, I said that already. Okay. So. I know you're flustered now, and it is. I don't, I'm not flustered at all. I'm I am frustrated.

The reason I'm not debating this week. Of course you won't. No, because I'm not debating. All you know how to do is repeat things that people told you and say trust the expert. Yeah, man. That's how this works. We can't all individually go conduct our own vaccine studies. I've tried.

Turns out injecting people at the office with mystery liquids is, quote, against union rules. And now we turn from the inbox to the outbox. On Tuesday, the New York Times talked to Sean O'Mara, the doctor advising Trump's cabinet, to eat a diet almost exclusively of steak and fermented foods like sauerkraut. And I wanted to read you this part about the doctor himself. At one point in our conversation, he pulled up the Bristol stool chart, which ranges from type 1, separate hard pellets, to type 7, watery, no solid pieces. Omar is consistently delivering type 4, quote, smooth, soft, like a snake,

with pointed ends indicative of healthy rectal function, he told the reporter. When you start eating healthy, you don't need toilet paper, he claimed. Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus. We actually have a clip. Well, we're going, we don't need toilet papers. Perfect. The article continues. He describes a proper bowel movement to the reporter this way.

Odorless, wipe-free, over in three to seven seconds, and nearly orgasmic. Quote, I could have a bowel movement behind a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room, he said, and nobody would know. But what's weird, added Dr. Sean, is no one ever invites him to dinner parties. He can't figure it out. And listen, and I'm sorry. This guy has dropping clean logs day after day after day.

Whatever Scientology promises people to get them to sign their life away, this is that for me. And I'm in luck because on his website, Dr. Sean sells a $50,000 biological optimization plan called Alpha Global Protocol, which includes a full-body MRI scan from, quote, brain to legs. And while 50,000 does sound like a lot, it comes with what is described as indefinite membership in the private alpha leadership network.

So come meet fellow travelers who all share two things in common. They got a loose $50,000 lying around, and their farts could clear an airport terminal. Speaking of satisfying expulsions, the midterms are upon us, and Vote Save America is launching the crooked, doesn't. We are focusing on 12 of the most vulnerable Republicans

in the House. Not emotionally vulnerable. These people are pretty walled off, but electorally, we can fuck them up. At the top of the list is Ohio Congressman Max Miller, who has been accused of horrific domestic violence by his ex-wife, Emily Moreno, daughter of Ohio Republican

Senator Bernie Moreno. Miller is accused of throwing boiling water on her, holding a gun to her head, and breaking his daughter's collarbone. We have no jokes about this. So, You guys see this kitten who got a wheelchair made of rulers and toy cars because he was too small for a regular wheelchair for cats? The kitten's name is Jolato. Senator Moreno finally spoke out against Miller this week, posting on Sunday, as he has admitted privately, Max Miller needs serious psychological help.

He has a danger to my daughter. I hold my breath every time. He has custody of my granddaughter. He should not serve in the House of Representatives. This has been a horrific. experience for my entire family. My daughter lives in constant fear of this man. I'm sorry, I just

think this stuff is important and people need to hear about it. Jolato, the kitten, is four inches tall. Here's another photo of him in his new 3D printed wheelchair. Adorable. Despite this, Max Miller has not dropped out saying in a defined

interview with Jake Tapper, he plans to run and win in November. What a nightmare. Where's his district? Widows Bay? Look, Miller is an absolute piece of shit And not a type four on the Bristol stool chart either One of the bad ones And Miller's democratic opponent is Brian Poindexter A union iron worker endorsed by Bernie Sanders

That's right, it's yet another crucial race With a manly progressive and a guy who's awful to women But this time, exciting twist, not the same guy No matter where you live, you can help defeat Max Miller And the rest of the crooked dozen if we win the House, we shut down Trump's legislative agenda, we have subpoena power, we can launch investigations into corruption and lawlessness, we can take that gavel out of Mike Johnson's hand, even though he holds it too tightly in a vaguely sexual way.

We have less than 100 days, so please grab your friends and go sign up to help defeat the crooked dozen at Votesaveamerica.com. We have done the work for you. This is the way to make a difference this fall. And if Gelato the Kitten can learn to walk again, we can learn to win. Look at them go. Breaking news, RFK Jr. has eaten gelato the kitten. RIP gelato the kitten.

And we've got a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Porn o Joggin'awthon. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Zbiotics. I have to tell you about this game-changing product I use before a night out with drinks. It's called Pre-Alcohol. You basically just have it.

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Code love it at checkout. And we're back. Before we're joined by our guests, as we were recording this on Tuesday night, we are getting results from the Democratic primary in Michigan. So we now go to the future tomorrow, where it is now today, and we have the results. Here to tell us about it is me from tomorrow, his now, reporting to you yesterday, which is our now. Thanks, John, and thanks for not turning off the TV until after midnight. Totally worth it that we're exhausted today.

On Tuesday, after a bruising primary, Michigan's Democratic voters chose the progressive, Dr. Abdul-El-Sayette, over the Schumer-backed moderate Congresswoman Haley Stevens, an actual doctor, too, not like whatever Jill Biden is. This despite Abdul being outspent by as much as 10 to 1, APAC and other outside groups dropped $60 million by some estimates into the race to boost Stevens and smear Abdul in attack ads that ran nonstop. Not sure APAC got much out of those ads on the sphere, though, but by the end, they were running out of places to spend the money. In the closing days, polls suggested that Abdul was up by as much as double digits, but with 95% of the vote in, Abdul is up by 1%. That's 15,000 votes out of roughly 1.5 million cast.

We know not to trust the polls, yet somehow we fall for it every time. It's like the polls are a super hot sociopath. Stop love bombing us, Emerson. This meant that on Tuesday night, both candidates addressed their supporters when the outcome was unknown. And both Abdul and Haley talked about the importance of getting behind the eventual nominee, regardless of who that would be. However much, we might disagree with our Democratic opponent, there is so much more

that unites us, then divides us. Tomorrow we begin to mend fences. Whatever happens tonight, we have a responsibility to assure that we unite to make sure that Mike Rogers never sees the inside of the U.S. Senate. We'll know soon who our nominee is going to be.

And whoever wins is going to go and take on Mike Rogers. Republicans are going to do everything they can to throw all the dirt, all the mud, the kitchen sink at us because they want to keep the U.S. Senate red. So Mike Rogers can keep rubber stamping Donald Trump's ridiculous agenda, friends, we are not going to let that happen. I'll just be honest with you. I know, and I really like Abdul. He hosted a show.

our network. I donated to his campaign. If he had ever asked me to hang out outside of work, I would have, but he's intimidated by me probably. I have my differences with him. And on POTS of America, I was pretty open about some of my frustrations, especially when I felt like Abdul reflected a style of politics on the left that seems more interested in winning factional battles within the Democratic Party than uniting to defeat Trump and the Republicans. But he also overcame an unprecedented onslaught by inspiring voters to believe in a politics that actually delivers for people that breaks with the lethargy and lack of imagination of the democratic establishment. And we all have an interest in proving that Super PAC ads cannot decide who wins

and loses our elections. Ads should only influence what medicine we demand from our doctors and how fat our children get before they're ultimately prescribed as Zempec. I also actually worked with Haley Stevens on the Hillary campaign in 2008. And what I saw reflected the person I knew then, a hardworking, practical, goofy, kind person. But the actual campaign she led was pretty bankrupt, where she's smiling and turning cranks on a factory floor while her allies are doing the dirty work of trying to destroy Abdul, and rarely directly. APAC isn't running ads explaining why Abdul is wrong to call Israel's conduct of the war in Gaza a genocide. Apec is running ads taking quotes out of context to smear him on unrelated issues. I am worried about the damage

these ads have already done. And if the polls overestimated Abdul's support against Stevens, they might be overestimating his support against Rogers, which means we now have an uphill climb in a race that could determine control of the Senate, which could decide whether or not Trump can replace Alito or Thomas with younger and somehow more extreme versions. Imagine a Samuel Alito who plays Minecraft and uses the R word in opinions. Too often, the Democratic establishment has gotten behind figures that aren't exciting or inspiring who reflect a status quo people despise while arguing the alternative is in one way or another unacceptable. Vote for us or else.

I'm not comparing these candidates, obviously, but the pattern? Janet Mills, Andrew Cuomo, Haley Stevens, even Hillary Clinton versus Trump. Sorry to lump three qualified women in with Andrew Cuomo, three delivered bad messages, one delivered bad massages. The point is, over and over again, voters choose, or else? Because your promises don't mean much when no one trusts you to deliver. And your electability threats don't carry much weight when no one trusts that you know how to win, given that we have lost the White House, the Senate, the House, and

most governorships and legislatures. You're the boy who cried wolf if that boy also had a pet wolf who kept getting loose and terrorizing the town. It is absolutely true that to win in states like Michigan, Democrats have to bring in more moderate voters that take issue with unpopular left-wing views. And look, I'm not afraid to say it. I don't think trans people should get special priority on open table. I also don't think there should be one big communal popcorn bucket at the movie theater that everyone reaches into. But how about we try doing politics? Republicans are going to call Abdul a communist and a terrorist. That is not an exaggeration. And that's what Trump and Mike Rogers did today.

They want to make this race about anything other than the actual stakes, whether or not we will have a Senate completely enthralled to Trump, his tax cuts for the rich, cuts to health care, corruption, immigration crackdown, the wars. Or whether we can have a Senate that holds Trump accountable while beginning the long and hard task of imagining what comes next in which we should all be glad to have Abdul's voice. That ought to excite all of us. It ought to inspire all of us.

And if we can make that case, we can win. And I think we should try that. So if you want to be involved in this midterm election, go to Votesaveamerica.com. I'm once again asking you to sign up. Take all that energy, your worry, your concerns, your hopes, and put it into actually getting involved in this campaign. We can win the House. We have a chance of taking the Senate. And that matters so much more than whatever internecine battles we've had.

So thank you. Back to you, John. You beautiful son of a bitch. And we're back. Thank you, future John. You still got it. Now back to the show. We'll have Porn and Jugginothin out in a moment.

But first, if you haven't gotten tickets to CrookedCon yet, there are some exciting new faces joining us. At Crooked, we believe the answer to rising right-wing authoritarianism is a big, welcoming, fun, pro-democracy movement. We've invited some of the biggest voices online to all-day CrookedCon. At CrookedCon, you'll have the chance to meet creators and new media personalities who make sense of the news with humor and hot takes. They'll be bopping around the D.C. Convention Center,

hosting happy hours, Q&As, and workshops for attendees. They'll also be making content because what happens at CrookedCon ends up online for every political person and nerd to see. Check out which creators are joining us so far at crookedcon.com. And grab your tickets today. We will see you in D.C. All right. Let those who worship evils might be where my power

and my next guest from HBO's Lanterns, please welcome to the stage Porto Jagannothan. Hi, hi, thanks for being. Thanks for having me. Come on through. Hi. Hello, John. In Green Lantern Comics, the lanterns can create anything into existence, and the

fights are still close. Why? Such a good question. Shouldn't it not be close? It's a lack of imagination. Is that all it is? I think so. You have to imagine the things.

You have to have a massive, and out-imagined the other person. Right. Yeah. You know, I understand there's a lot of sex scenes. in the show. There's just a couple. And do you have any tips? Because I plan to do a lot of sex scenes soon.

I do. If it's HBO, take it all off, John. Sure. Yeah. Depends on the network, you know? I would, like, literally, my only advice is to have a great intimacy coordinator. But so, you'd mention that your lantern's sex scenes were a point of pride at 53 years old. Now, we were looking through your IMDB, and we noticed that you had been asked to play a lot of doctors.

Correct. You've been over and over again, and I think this is something that South Asian women... And doctors are not having sex scenes. There's fewer sex scenes for the doctors, a lot more stat. Right, right. But it feels like you're at this moment where you're getting, like, you're in parts that are much more kind of, I don't know, a wider range of performances. like in Delhi Boys, you get to be a villain in lanterns, you're banging it out. You know, that must be nice.

It's great. It's great. I mean, I think, you know, starting my career, there was a lot of, like, stereotyping going on, right? And they didn't see Indian women as anything beyond, like, a doctor's role or a lawyer's role. And I think that's what's really shifted. Like, now a lot of creators of color are reimagining the Indian woman as more three-dimensional character. And in lanterns, I not only have sex. It's not the only thing I do.

I know that. Yes. Well, I haven't seen the show yet, but I instinctively knew that. Yes, yes. But, you know, and I said that the question really was, what, it was something that you were really proud of. It was really something I was terrified of. So, and I, you know, it happened and it looks great

on screen, but I was terrified of it. Now, you talked with this at Comic-Con. This is your first time going to Comic-Con. Yes. Now, Damon Lindeloff was on this show. I love him. And this was, he had just mentioned lanterns.

And he made a joke about dropping the word green, and he made a little, he made like a lighthearted comment about the green being stupid. He then, months later, when I think the show was getting some more press, he faced such a backlash from such a passionate online.

You go to Comic-Con and you understand why. So we were in a place called Hall. Have you been to Comic-Con? Mm-hmm. So, do you know Hall H? A big one. Yeah, 7,500 people. And when you're sitting on the panel, you can see the end of, you can see the end, right?

It's just this cavernous and it's full. But I would say 80% of the audience was dressed as Green Lantern, you know? And like, it is just people who are so insanely proud and into it and know every minutiae of everything. It's a point of pride to them, you know? So first of all, there's so much. much green in the show. But they, even in the trailer, like they felt there wasn't enough green in the teaser.

And they came after, you know, they came after HBO. They wanted to be as close to their version of, as close to their love as humanly possible. I feel like we went through this phase on comic books where it was part of the culture around movies and television generally, which is people really didn't want heroes. They wanted anti-heroes.

And what was popular on television was sort of everything from, you know, Tony Soprano to Don Draper to Walter White and Breaking Bad. And then the superheroes had to be grittier and more real. And that meant like kind of draining out some of the color, making it a little less earnest. But it feels like we're coming back a little bit towards, I don't know, like Spider-Man is like a more earnest character. Like how does this fit into that, right? Like, let's say on the, you know, on the scale of, from Superman to Watchmen, is Lanterns more towards the kind of like Spider-Man, Superman, old school, or is it more like the kind of Watchman style,

like new take on it? Like, where does lanterns fit in? I think it's totally, you know, within the world of Damon and Chris and Tom, which is very much in The Watchmen. It actually feels much closer to true detective than anything else. You know, it's like it's not so much a buddy cop, story because they're antagonists in the show. But it feels, I don't want to say, look, I am not really, I haven't indulged in the comic

book genre since I was a teenager. And then when I read the script, it was so hugely relatable. It's a very, it's a very human script. And, you know, it's an old guard, new guard story. It's a power struggle story. And it's, it's gritty. It's not, it's not what you think. And the twists and the backstory and the turns and the writing and the greediness is insane.

I remember reading something. And I just, you know, I had by mistake, not by mistake, because it's what I do. I take like a five milligram gummy and then I read the script and I time it so that I'm ready to like, you know, sleep after it. Like it doesn't hit me. And I remember I had taken it and I read the last page. And I was like, did I do it? acid by mistake like the reveals

and the twists and the turns hi Tom the twists and the turns were just unbelievable I once had an edible and I took too much of it and then went to Korean barbecue and then halfway through the meal I said I need to go home and write an apology email because I screwed

something up several years ago and did you I did great you go there you go you also in Delhi Boys yes and you said that you watch Real Housewives of Orange County to research being a villain. That's right. What is it about the, what are you drawing on from the world of Real Housewives?

Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to rephrase that. It's not so much villain. I felt like the character is a very physical character, and there's a lot of physical comedy, and I was looking through, you know, she's powerful. She's like a cocaine, you know, queen pen, right? Right. Some would say that that's not good, but yeah, okay. Correct.

You have to see them as a hero. You're playing this person as a hero, but presumably, yeah. cocaine kingpin is like sort of on the wrong side of the book. Totally. And I describe her as like not having any exes, you know, because none of them are alive. Like she just, and you know, she'll shoot someone before she, she, she, it's just an instinct, right? She's just very violent. But it's a very physical character.

And two things happened. For season one, I was really looking through the housewives and I landed on Orange County. They seemed the most physical of them all. and like you see Lucky like doing a lot of this and slapping people and throwing stuff a lot so that's what it was. For season two, their storyline is that one of her kind of surrogate sons is in jail

so I pivoted to Housewives of New Jersey did you ever see the episode of with Teresa where she goes to jail? I'm familiar with it, but it's not my culture. I've been in New York and Atlanta and Beverly Hills, but I haven't yet been in New Jersey. I heard Rhode Island is the best.

Rhode Island is fantastic. You've seen it? Oh my, it's fantastic. How is it different from Orange County? So it's, well, it actually harks back to the kind of old school Orange County, New York style. Yeah. Because they really seem to, they really know each other. There's not a cast.

These feel like friends and people that are in each other's lives. The way it did, I think, a little bit more when you had people that were kind of just, felt when it was more documentary style. So that's, I think, what makes it sort of more intimate. Oh. And they'll, they'll have a fight at a child's birthday party for sure, which you got to have. Which you got to have. That's what you've got to have.

Yeah. That's it. Like for any small thing, there's violence, which is how the character lucky really is. Any small thing, she'll, her first instinct is to choose violence. The other thing about the housewives that I've,

I remember when I was in politics, there was, I'm going to anonymize this story a little bit, but there was a person who had a non-compete at a private firm, and they were offered a very, exciting opportunity to come work for the government. And their boss, who they'd worked for forever, had a close relationship with, said, no, I need you at the company right now. And he said, but I've been loyal to you forever. Like this is, I'm owed my chance. Like, how could you do this?

I'll never forget this. And the boss said, you're mad and you'll always be a little mad, but no matter what you do, you'll be less mad over time. It's true. And it was this moment of like someone just saying, I can, I'm going to just do the worst thing because it's useful to me right now. And I'll deal with the consequences later, or maybe I won't. Wiser words have never been spoken. Yeah. Also the villain in that story. Also, so treacherous. Yeah, no, great. So treacherous. Now, because you're in Lanters, you're part of the DC Comics universe, you're in good company, but you're also in some interesting and surprising company, which is why we're going to quiz you now in a game we're calling Super Power Bottoms. Here's how it works.

We're going to read you as superpower. You tell us if this is an actual power of a superhero or villain from DC Commons. Okay, you do know I don't know much about this genre. And you'll see, let's see how you do. All right. First up, is this a real or fake superpower can eat anything they want?

Fake? It's real. Matter eater lad was an alien from the planet Bismal named Tenzel Kemp who can eat any material known to man. Created by Jerry Siegel and John Forte. He first appeared in 1962. you.

Cool. Next up, heads fall off so they can beat people with it. Definitely true. No, that one's fake.

There is a superhero whose arms fall off so he can beat people with it, which is cool. My power will astound you. Observe as I detach my limb.

I think that's cool. I feel like I could write a comic book, frankly, after seeing these examples. What do you think the name of this character was?

One guess. First thing that pops to your mind. Arm fall off boy. Arm fall off boy. Was that actually his name? Yes. Arm fall off by tried and failed to become a member of the Legion of Superheroes.

Did he make it? No. Got it. Next up. A character that shoots various condiments at people. Yes. Yes. It's real.

Condiment King. Condiment, what? Condiment King. Created by Bruce Tim for Batman the animated series, a parody of Silver Age DC supervillains. He shot all sorts of condiments from his condoment guns. That's a true Indian superhero. In the world of the comic, the condiments could be fatal if they triggered anaphylactic shock.

So you had to get someone who was allergic to relish. Turmeric. Yeah. Next up. Yeah. Containing thousands of disgusting diseases to infect her enemy with. 100%. That's real.

Yeah. Yeah. The infectious lass. An alien superhero. This is amazing. This really reignites my interest in comic books. Oh, she was a woman That's right

Infectious alien superheroes Can be women now I'm surprised you know I'm surprised by I'm surprised with you Dr. Fauci of it all okay Next up Being a fire breathing doxent True

Yeah hot dog Ha cool No That's someone who's real That's there That's that's dachson The fire breathing dog named hot dog

Wow You've won the game I've won it. Lanterns premieres on HBelmax August 16th. Deli Boys, season one and two are on Hulu. Porto will be back at the end of the show. And we'll be right back. I can't wait. Wait. What's my present?

Oh, just the job well done. Way to go. And can we fly in a t-shirt? We'll get you something. Thank you. We're right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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And we're back. My next guess is a bad game. but I have a feeling I'm worse. Please welcome to the stage, Elliot Glazer. Hi, thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Ooh, I love this couch. So you have a new book out.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay. You seem like a perfectly normal gay to me. What makes you a bad gay? I just seem to have missed a lot of cues, you know? There's just a lot that goes on in the sort of homo-normative space. Oh. That I just feel like I've missed these cues. for 20 or so years.

I'm not tantruming. I'm just... Observing. Yeah, I'm observing. I mean, you seem like a perfectly normal gay to me. And I might even say that. But I think for the purposes of the book, there needs to be a flashy title.

Oh, I think you should lean into it a little harder than that. Okay, okay. I'm so bad at it. I'm so bad. Total failure. What is it about the... Here's what I always felt

when I was young and gay and then older and gay. Is it's like, who, when did you all figure this out? That's exactly the point. When did you all, when did you all kind of, was there a meeting I missed? That's what I, that's the point, the book is essentially about how I feel like I missed day one of gay 101. Like I missed the syllabus and that everybody seems to understand.

And I know not everybody feels this way, but at the very least, I feel like people are good at pretending that they can. And I just can't do it. It was, yes. I just can't do it. I would walk, like, what did I, like, what happened? Where were you doing in high school when I was in mock trial and doing speech and debate? Right.

When you were cracking all of these sort of secrets, I just had no, I was flummoxed, I was baffled. Completely baffled. And that genuinely is the, the flow of the book is trying to figure that out from youth and high school to adulthood. But the irony, of course, is that, you know, I came out at like 20. as a college freshman thinking, I'm ready. I'm going to take this on. I'm going to, I really was academic about it. I was reading books about being gay.

I was trying to intern and be in that part of, like, nightlife. Never encouraged me to read a book about it. Well, that was my, I mean, that was my first instinct is to, like, do something bookish and really try to follow the rules of an actual guide that I, that I'd ordered, that I'd been gifted, actually. And I failed every chapter, one by one. Now, in high school, you talked about working at Talbets. Yes.

And you had to hide your sort of the homosexuality of sort of poking through the... Well, how well can you hide being gay when you're working at Talbets in high school? Right. How did you hide it? How did I hide it? I deflected. You know, there were certainly a couple of my lovely coworkers who were trying to, like, you know, get the dirt on like what girls I was into and I'm like,

do you see where we, do you see where we are? Like, this is the missy section of Talbitts, and I am selling cardigans and dusters to you. I feel like we're contemporaries, and I feel like we were growing up and realizing we were gay at the last period of time where people could sound the way that we do

and people would still not think of it. You know what I'm saying? Like it was just like, oh, yes, you did the, I remember being asked over, like a girlfriend, listen to how I'm talking. Look at what my hands doing when I say this. Right. You know what I'm saying? But there was still, there was still like a kind of generation that just, it was just not,

it wasn't even that they were pretending to not think about it. They truly weren't thinking about it. Yeah. I mean, even I was watching the Rosie O'Donnell show and I was like, she just hasn't found the right guy yet. I really was just like. She really liked Tom Cruise. She loved Tom Cruise.

But I mean, genuinely, I also, you know, obviously, it was my own secret at, you know, you in Y2K, 90s era, where I was just guarding it with all my life. But I don't know. At the same time, like, I just also wasn't thinking it about everybody else. And they think that was the last bastion before Glee, basically. Yeah, before Glee changed it all. The world of G. We're a post-G-world, yeah, you know, AG.

We live in, it's year 21, AG. After G. We start again. We started again after that Super Bowl where they put that Glee episode on. in the craziest programming decision in all of human history. Like, you know what people are going to want to enjoy after the Super Bowl? Glee. Whatever the fuck this is.

Glee. Glee. I also found, in thinking back to that period where I was figuring it out, figuring out what it is to be gay, there was very little to me in the conversation or in just what I knew about it that had to do with gender. Gender was not part of it at all. Like being gay was maybe you could be effeminate. and that just was a quality of being gay.

But really what it was was you are attracted to men, and that is the secret. But all the other aspects of it that are clearly associated with being gay were either seen as incidental or a separate matter, which is basically having the qualities of your female friends. Did you find that? Were your friends girls in college?

Was that part of what it was for you to be? Or were you sort of more like, have you become, I think, more feminine as you become more comfortable being gay, I think would be the question. That's a good question. I mean, I still feel like a dope most of the time, like an oafish dope often, but, um, oh, thank you. Um, but I think at the same time, like, getting older, there is a joy to like letting loose a little bit. Um, and I don't know if the word's like feminine, but just like, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, careless, you know? But back then, I mean, back then, it was, it was a different story. But I also feel like, at least, yeah, when, when, when we were young, you were just gay and like queer wasn't really even, um, a term that would cross my, cross my path at any point. Whereas now it's, I use that, I identify as that.

And, you know, the spectrum is so wide. And it feels like weird to not acknowledge that to a degree. You tell us during the book about accidentally dying one of your teeth blew. Can you walk us through it? Sure. There was a summer where I had to get my front tooth replaced. And I didn't realize for some, For some reason, I thought that they take the tooth out and then put a new one in right away.

And the dentist was like, that's not how that works. You have to like take it out, put a post in. Your gum grows around it, and then they put the new tooth in. So, yeah, I didn't know that either. So basically I had to wear a flipper for several months, which is basically like it adheses to the top of your, the roof of your mouth. And then it's just like a fake tooth right here. And so I was basically at, I was seeing a gentleman who lived like two hours south. of L.A. He was under house arrest because I make my choices. Uh-huh.

And there's no where he is, though. It's kind of cool. What's that? You kind of know where he is. I do at all times. It's like a kind of like, it's like pre-FindMai and you don't have to worry about find mine. He doesn't have to track my. The government has found him. He's being tracked. He's been found, found you. Yes. I know. I was, I was his chauffeur sometimes. Like the times that we were allowed to, he was allowed to go out. I would take us on, you know, excursions to Trader Joe's and, you know, all the sexy spots. But I had my flipper with me, basically, and I forgot my, is this really interesting? I think the fact that you drove two hours to see someone under house arrest is sort of interesting.

Whether for us or a therapist, somebody's interested. I'm a little, I would say that I'm concerned. Concerned about the choices you're making. That was because I was like, I will go anywhere to find a guy who's like, like, reads, you know, like, I just felt like, I couldn't, I got so scared. And nobody in the TMZ, huh? This was just, this was what, he was lovely, except for the house arrest thing. Well, sure, other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, et cetera. But we believe, we believe in rehabilitation, shame on all of you.

Fully. And so, I mean, I would say this. Just sorry to sort of introduce some nuance. No problem that you're seeing somebody under house arrest. No problem that you're driving two hours to see somebody. I think my main concern is you're driving two hours to see somebody under house arrest. Right. That to me is where you're sort of like, well, when that, when he was out of house arrest,

when he was done with his sentence, I was like super excited for him to come up to L.A. and see like my world. And he didn't. Wow. He ghosted. I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. This is great. But you want to hear how the tooth got?

Yeah, what about the tooth? Basically, long story short, I was at his place and I didn't, I forgot my like tooth cleop. or whatever. So instead of putting it in like a normal denture cleaner, I soaked it in Listerine thinking that did the same thing. And so by the time I woke up and I had to rush back to L.A. to get to a Sunday audition of all things. My tooth was smurf blue. But I fell in love with him, like deeply chemically fell in love with him because as I was panicking, I found him in the kitchen, like hunched over the sink, brushing it with like bleach. He was a real like clean freak. And I was like, I'm getting married. This is.

We are getting married. He's my betrothed. This is, this is it. But no. But no, but no. But there was a real connection there. Exactly. And he couldn't come to yours.

My what? Home. No. No, that didn't happen. Now, speaking of being a baguie, you also have a sports podcast called You Think You Can Sports with trackers Justin Hartley, and Charles Barkley's producing it.

That's cool. Yes. Do you know of sports? So the podcast is, yeah, it'll be out in a few months. It's called So You Think You Can Sports. And the point of it all is that I know absolutely nothing about sports. That's a relief to me. I know nothing. And so and Charles is the EP and Justin Hartley is the EP. So it's some real like big man cis dude sports energy. And I'm just sitting down with world class athletes as the dumbest human being they have ever met.

I'm jealous of like the full sports experience because like it, it the energy that comes off. Oh my God. It's like, it's like every, there's a finale of their favorite show every Sunday. That's so cool. It's a drug that they're on at all times that they can, there's community. There's community, clothing, places to go, things to eat, cities to visit. There's so many things that go into that sports fan identity that I would love to inherently have that. And yet, I couldn't care less.

I know. And there was a, like, drab- Oh, but wait. Have you seen the Savannah bananas? Yes. I've seen the Savannah bananas. I'm into that. Because they're hot.

They are hot. They are hot. They are hot. When my parents were here, somehow the Savannah bananas came up, and my dad just kept saying over and every, and it's great baseball. Just so you know.

Elliot, inspired by your book. Yeah. We thought we both share a few ways in which we are bad gays. In a segment, we're calling, is it just me? I'll go first. I struggle with the term partner.

Yes. partner oh sorry the question here you go go for it yeah the part the term partner I feel like that's been co-opted by straight people now so the the yeah the onus is less on us but it always felt like I'm not in a law part you know I don't

practice law this is this is my boyfriend or my husband it just felt too formal and almost like I don't know stodgy yes there's something dusty because I remember there's a there's a part of um it comes up in the film American Beauty uh fantastic

performance by Kevin Spacey. The rest doesn't hold up as well. Of course. But Scott Bacula and his, and his partner, and that introduced himself as partner, and once he's, I'm a lawyer, I'm a periodontist. And that always stuck with me of what partner was. And I'm married now, but my spouse, who I alternate between husband, spouse, and partner, because they're non-binary. And, like, partner sucks. Husband doesn't feel right. Spouse feels like we're doing last well on Testament, you know. Sure, sure. There's no good word. There's no good word. And also it feels like, it does feel co-opted in the sense that when straight people do it, they're doing it as a way to keep you guessing. And it's like, I know what's going on here. Well, so yes, it is a way, yes, yes,

it is the keeping guessing. It's like they want to kind of be cool like us, mysterious. Yeah, it's like, this is our word. And also, we don't want it anymore. We don't want it anymore. That's right. Now, you, in the book, you talk about not liking poppers. Yeah. I don't want, that makes my head hurt. It makes me dizzy. And again, it's another thing that I feel has been co-opted by straight people. But I'm like, God bless.

Like, take them. I don't really understand them. I know they're for your, like, butt. But, like. Then you get, you do understand them. Oh, I do. I understand. Because that's it.

I understand that they're for your butt. I don't understand. Like, why do they? them while like dancing or something. Yeah, sort of I think people like it as a kind of like, it's like almost like a, what's that thing people would do? Whip it's almost like a whip it. Yeah, but it lasts so short and I don't know.

It just makes my head hurt. Yeah, I agree with that. And I'll do one more, which is everything's so loud. Too loud. The idea of, I don't know, this took a long time to admit, but it's like the idea of being like, let's go out, you know, we are going out. It's like, to a loud thing again? There's so many loud things.

and I just, I would love a gay, like, library, a gay sound bath, you know, something. I used to wear earplugs when I went to, very rarely. There was this one big club people go to in D.C. when I lived there, and I would just put in my earplugs and go there. You are. That is golden. And then one time I forgot my earplugs and it was so loud and my ears hurt, and I swear to God, I believe that the day before, if I was passed by a fire truck,

I would have to cover my ears. Thereafter, it's been over. And I think that one night without the earplugs had an impact. Is that crazy? I believe you, and I support that. And I also think I love the idea of earplugs at the club. Normalize earplugs. I have them all over the place.

I'm always wearing earplugs. But I guess I also don't understand the idea of going out with the purpose of like meeting other guys, but needing to like scream over music for it. It's like, this is, let's go to the library or a park. Because here's what I think is, because I think this is the tyranny of, like, if people have different arrows in their quiver, like, I feel like if there's a, everyone's on a spectrum that runs from, I'm out here, my 100% looks all the way to 100% personality. Yeah.

And basically, it's a kind of like tyranny of the good looking and the appearance-based community on the personality and charm based community. Exactly. Because you're in there, you're screaming. It's like, nobody can see what I'm selling here. Correct. What I'm offering requires silence. I need to sell it to sell the noggin.

Yeah. Like, let's, does anybody want to talk about politics? I mean, imagine it's different in D.C. though. You'd think. No. Thank you, Elliot Glazer. Thank you. The terrible, horrible, no good, very.

Very Bad Gay hit stores on August 11th, and we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought you by Thrive Market. The best thing about Thrive Market is that it takes the chore out of grocery shopping. Rather than wandering through crowded stores, you can customize your shopping experience online, filter by your personal health goals and dietary needs to find exactly what you need in seconds. No stressing over labels or Googling every additive.

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That's thrivemarket.com slash love it. And we're back. Like a gorgeous Bluetooth glimmering in the sea of normal white teeth. It's the most beautiful things that are the least appreciated, which is why we must celebrate them in a segment we're calling, I don't care. I love it. Let's welcome Hona back to the. back to the stage.

Welcome back. Thank you. Join us here. Here's how it works. We're each going to rant about a topic that's something that we love that maybe other people don't like or might criticize us for loving.

Elliot, do you want to kick us off? Yes. Yes. I do. Do I just go? Just go. Okay. What I love and maybe other people

don't love currently is brawl videos on YouTube. I am obsessed with watching people get into fights at crab buffets, at big box stores, parking lots, all over America, all over the world, quite honestly. People have the shortest tempers and the tiniest fuses, and I just love watching people lose it. I don't know, there's something primitive and real about it, and I imagine myself in that

situation, but I couldn't imagine actually doing the things that they're doing. It's sort of what? What are they doing? They're just getting the way that the amount, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, way that people get so mad at a drive-thru is bonkers. People lose their minds waiting for fast food in the drive-thru line. And there's violence, there's gunplay. It is, it's wild. There's a show called, TV show in particular called Customer Wars. There's a whole franchise of wars, customer wars, road wars, neighborhood wars, I think Christmas Wars. I am obsessed. I can't get enough.

What is it do? What is it, what is it, what is it about? the conflict. Is it like, is it that there's an aspect of the justice to it? Is it, is it, what is it that, like, is coming? Yeah. What is it satisfying when you say it's primitive? What is it hitting? So my sister has always called me street justice because I have this, like, I'm generally, generally like a, like a nice and polite person. You might even say conflict avoidant, but when it comes to somebody doing wrong by my friend or family, I become a pit bull. Wait, how about a, like a stranger? Doing it to me? Oh. If you see someone wronging a stranger, will you get into it?

I, I, I, it really, I don't know. I kind of have to split the difference. If they're doing it to a woman, I am in. But I don't know. I feel like it's, it's, it is, there is a catharsis there because I am yearning for that, that sense of justice. do you feel because part of it I do think like I see I get fed a lot of this kind of stuff and I think everybody does whether it's like people arguing or street stuff the road rage stuff and I do think it's because we kind of maybe there's like a I think it's because like I feel like oh well people are being kind of more rude more rude or more insensitive or more kind of oblivious in public and then like I mean now than ever before yeah and like I'm just and I just sort of huff and get annoyed and then you see these videos where it's like coming to some sort of peak and they're coming satisfying and about that in an unhealthy way I think absolutely unhealthy it's it's it's people are uncaged and it feels like a very post 2015 uh kind of behavior and so watching it unfurl i mean it's a guilty pleasure in the sense that it's terrible for my brain because you're must be getting a little mad you're getting activated yes therapist might say but it's so engaging and like do you do this right before bed i try not to but oh my god it's it's it's i can't turn away i can't turn away i can't turn away I mean, I feel like we used to have World Star Hip Hop, that site where they would have all these brawls and public fights.

But I never, I don't know, that wasn't just for me, but this especially, I mean, it's a lot of COVID-era stuff. It's a lot of, a lot of that. And there is some sense of, I don't know, the Karen video era. It's a lot of that. And the way watching people misbehave on airplanes fills me with some sense of disgusting, pure-isle joy that I just can't shake. Yeah. Yeah, it's because it's a public execution. Yes.

I agree. I feel the same. I'm not judging. Pornah, what is your, I don't care, I love it? That took a very serious term. Mine is so stupid. That's perfect. We love stupid.

It needs to be. But I would really appreciate some riff on it. It is a Japanese toilet. Oh, it's like a Toto. Oh, my God. You love it. Obsessed. How fancy is it?

your toilet? Are we talking bidet? Are we talking way more? I mean, I know, obviously, Bidding. I mean, it doesn't talk, but literally does everything else. If this toilet could talk, what would it say? The stories, the judgment. I will, I, this is hard. Because I, yeah, I don't understand how people don't have them in their homes. When I, It is an option. When you go, once you, so they have the, like, the little, and I'll say this as an advocate. I buy these as gifts, just so you know, I'm a- You buy what is gifts? I buy the, the kind that you can add to an already existing toilet.

And it's cheap, right? It's not, it's not crazy. It's not crazy. And I give it as a gift sometimes because I am a true believer. I will never go back. Yeah. Because people think, oh, it must be nice. No.

No. It's not nice to have. It's not that it doesn't make, it makes every day a little bit better. That's great. But here's what it can also do. Yes. It can take what would have been a bad day and turn it into a forgettable day. It can turn a bad day into a normal day, not just a normal day into a better day.

It can make a day that would have been terrible into something fine. You know what I'm saying? I love you so much. You know what I'm saying. You're so articulate. But it's also in the middle of the night, you go to the bathroom and like the seat is so warm. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh my God.

It's delightful to take a shit. You know what I mean? Not in the middle of the night. That's not what I'm doing. That's exciting. But it's delightful. And it has so many buttons. I don't know.

I just use the basic button, but has so many different permutations combinations. Wait, you need to experiment. You need to press those buttons. You know, I'm not good with technology. I got to say, I'm not great. I should really go for it, though. Go for it.

There's only so bad wrong you can go in there. You know what I'm saying? I mean, there's a, my remote has about eight buttons to it. I have no idea. I just use one. There are seven very interesting paths you could take tonight. Are you guys Japanese, like, what are the other buttons doing? There's a front and back, like, I know that.

You got it. I think you know the ins and outs of this thing. I mean, I've never used the air dryer. I would try that. Why not? Yeah. Treat yourself. Okay.

Tonight. There's the button that calls the hospital. The emergency, like, you just, like, you just fly off. You flew through the ceiling. Yeah. But it's really like, I, sometimes I don't even want to leave my house. It's so, it's so wonderful. Does it raise and close by itself?

Yeah. That's elevated. That's sophistication. So downstairs, we have the cheapest. perversion but upstairs and the master bedroom upgraded. That shit costs like $3,000. Wow.

Yeah, the Lambo of the toilets. Yeah. It's a, you know, we got all the best, get all the bells and whistles. But you know what, you know, that's, when you think about rooms you're going to spend a lot of time in, there's a reason they call it the throne.

And also, I mean, I think as a gay guy, I can say, we, we, yeah, I feel like at this point, it's pretty. Wait, do you have one? Yeah. I'm almost, I would, at this point, I feel like eight to nine out of ten gay male homes. Have?

Yeah. It's, it, it comes, yes, of course. Yeah. Of course. Well, because you know. You know. Because you know. You know.

Because you know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a lot of South Asian homes still don't have it, which is bizarre to me. Hmm. Huh. Probably the gay South Asian homes do have it. They do.

They do. A thousand percent. All right, I'm up. And mine is going to be anchovies. What? Antovies. I have become, I don't know what's going on. I love them.

I love them. And I feel like I'm going to at some point be diagnosed with some sort of deficiency because something's going on where like I'm like ripping into, like I'm adding them to eggs in the morning. What is the vitamin situation for anchovies? Like what do they give you? I think. Fis oil.

Yeah. Fis oil. Omega fatty acids, as they say. Are you doing the tins? You're unpealing the tins. You're unpealing the tins. I'm unpealing the tins. I feel like in the past few.

years, a lot of people I know around our age range have gotten into tinned fish. Yes. And especially the idea of anchovies and eating fresh anchovies, it is funny because it feels like both a healthy choice and a very like old Jew choice. Yes. Because I'm used to that from my grandparents. Yes. You know, I never would have expected those things to meet that Venn diagram to happen. When you were a kid, did your grandparents eat herring? Hering and onions. Haring and onions. Hering and onions and cream. Do people know about this food? Do people know about this? This is. It is so. gnarly. Herring with onions. No.

In cream. Yes, in cream. In thick cream. It was everywhere. I remember it like, and I love my grandparents and miss them dearly, but I remember it specifically in the folds of his mouth. Yeah, for sure. A white, creamy fish substance. Yeah. So we've met, but anchovies

feel classy. You know, history rhymes. Joe Biden said that, quoting a poem. Joe Biden quoted a poem once that said that. We'll be right. back. And we're back. Well, now it's time for us to really dig in. To some second thoughts, here's how it works. To close up the show, my producers have given me

a list of things they wish I hadn't said are done during the show. If you have things you regret from tonight, you can share it as well. There's an opportunity to wonder if there's regrets. If you have any regrets or things you wish you had said differently or any questions you have about things you talked about. This is the place where we talk about it. My first second thoughts are from the monologue. I made up a, I made us picture both Trump's weird penis and Biden's dangling hog. I referred to a greasy taint. A lot audio of RFK Jr.'s voice in this episode. A lot of auto, it says, and then really quite a bit of RFK audio. Let's see. I gave porn not one second to get comfortable

before asking about sex scenes. Indeed. I romanticized dating someone on house arrest. Mm-hmm. You did. Did it make a single Bluetooth joke? And you regret that. Yeah, I think that's right.

It was right there. Yeah. It's the title of the chapter. You had to connect, when you took it back from it, you had to connect to your Bluetooth. Yes. You know, for example, that was just sitting there. Got a big laugh, obviously.

And then I somehow told an earplug story two shows in a row. Really? But it's a different ear plug story, so I think it's fine and I don't regret it. It's charming. Are they telling you what you should be regretting or do you actually? Oh, okay. These are their suggestive regrets.

And just so you know, they can sometimes give me what is called a kudos. Oh, but that hasn't come your way. Not today. Okay. No kudos for me today from the team. Okay. Someone in a different pen clearly grabbed this paper and wrote, we may have started a toilet-based class war.

To be clear, the $3,000 toilet is not the one that doesn't cost a lot. I just want to make sure that we're making that distinction. How much is it? Just tell me. I feel like the higher-end one for just the one you add to the sheet to be $200. But there's ones that I think are between $100 and $200 certainly possible. And just amortize that across every poop you take over two or three years. That's pennies.

That's pennies depending on your situation. And honestly, the more poops. the more you need it. Any regrets or thoughts before we close? I do think it was funny when you said that you have like girl brain, or that you kind of alluded to the idea that you're like, that you couldn't hide being gay because you're so girly. And I just never would have thought of you that way.

Well, I think that there's parts, I think like there's like I, I think that the, I picture it is almost like, whatever is like your personality, like there's different parts that are more feminine and more masculine. Totally. And I think the assumption that, that men are, I think, fairly probably, right? Most cisgendered men are mostly masculine in the ways men are mostly masculine.

And so that means that at a gay bar, most of the men have a masculine relationship to sex. It is built around that relationship to sex. But there's a, I think, a sizable group of men probably more than in the straight male community, because by nature I think we are more feminine and whatever that correlation would mean that there are probably more gay guys that have a more feminine, traditionally considered feminine relationship to sex. And I am one of those people. but there was no space to talk about that

or think about that or feel normal because of that because the expectation is you can go on Grindr or just meet somebody and if that's not for you, it's hard to find your people because it's fewer of them, I guess. And you're already in a smaller group of people because gay. It's small, right, gay. Is it gay? Is it gay?

I regret not being here during any of the segments. And we regret that you weren't here in two. Yeah. Interesting. That's our show. Thank you so much to pornagging up. At Elliot Glazer, there are 90 days until the midterms, and we will be back in your feeds on

Friday with a brand new episode. Thanks, everybody. Love it or Leave It is a crooked media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Halle Keeper, Sarah Lazarus, Rahman Borsellino, Peter Miller,

David Tolls, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGrope. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.