Lovett or Leave It - Queerest and Dearest: A Pride Best-Of

Episode Date: June 17, 2023

In honor of Pride Month and Lovett being on vacation, we present to you: a very queer Best Of show! California candidate Will Rollins takes us to the overlapping center of Palms Springs’ two most vibrant communities: senior and gay. Matt Rogers’ Brad Turbo tries to make a mint off masculinity. Gus Kenworthy rates sports on the Kinsey Scale and it’s 10s, 10s, 10s across the board. Oscars expert Louis Virtel tests his knowledge of the only other awards show that matters: the Guys Choice Awards. While Robin Tran and Brendan Scannell get ethical.  For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. Will Rollins episode: Forbidden Flute. Will Rollins is running to unseat monstrous homophobe Ken Calvert again in 2024! Find out how you can help at https://willrollinsforcongress.com/Matt Rogers episode: Tony’s AngelsGus Kenworthy episode: Queerbait of the NationLouis Virtel episode: Trial by Fire EmojiRobin Tran/Brendan Scannell episode: James and the Giant Divorce 

Welcome to Love It or Leave It, Clip Show Edition. The team is taking a much-needed break before we head out on the road for the tour. And if you give us even the slightest bit of shit, we're taking one fucking week off. You can go stuff it, honestly. We do so many shows. We do so many shows. We do so many. In honor of Pride, this episode is going to be a compilation of some of the best gay mayhem the show hath wrought

on this still shockingly straight rock we all live on. Gay means gay, but it also means happy, so we hope you're at least one kind of gay while you listen. First up, the gay old Venn diagram with Will Rollins. Gays and old people have lots in common. Some people can actually be gay and old, but that sounds like a fate worth... I'm not saying this.

Come on, people. A fate worse than death. Jesus. And one I'll hopefully never know. Come on. Enjoy. Palm Springs. The hotbed of hotbeds. Literally, it's in the middle of the desert.

Basically sleeping on the sun. But it's also home to a thriving gay community and tonight's next guest. He's a house candidate for California's 41st District. Please welcome Will Rawlins. Hi, Will. Good to see you. Thanks for being here. It is great to be here.

How you doing? Great. I'm disappointed that I have to follow that revelation about Marilyn and Jackie O, though. I didn't know I was going to have to do that. No, it's obviously people don't know that that happened, but it did happen. So, Will, thank you for being here. First, I think that the story of what's happening in this district is actually very interesting because it has to do with redistricting. And all of a sudden, a Republican politician realizing that he has to change what he thinks because his district incorporated a new clientele, as it were.

Can you just tell people what the story of what's happening in the 41st District in California, which was a very conservative district until recently? Yeah. So this was a Trump plus seven district in October of 2021 when I launched. Redistricting, seven point gain in registration for Democrats, picked up Palm Springs, Rancho Mirage, Palm Desert, La Quinta, and of course, Palm Springs being the district, one of the most LGBTQ friendly cities in the United States, and caused a big change in Calvert's position on our issues. So you're running, you're an openly gay candidate running against a known homophobe, Ken Calvert, who has attempted to scrub his historical opposition to LGBTQ issues, repeatedly voting

against queer rights during his 30-year career. At one point, his campaign even outed one of his opponents as gay by sending pink mailers describing his San Francisco values. Calvert conveniently voted in favor of marriage equality this summer after Palm Springs became part of his district. Question for you, where does this motherfucker get off? Yeah, it's bullshit. It's a bullshit evolution, right, that he claims to have had. This is a guy

who voted just 14, 16 months ago against the Equality Act, which was a law designed to prevent gay people from being fired for being who they are, from being kicked out of their homes for being who they are. And, you know, for the first time in his history, three decades in Congress, he has a pro-LGBTQ vote. So I think voters are going to see through that crap for what it is. And Calvert has also taken these anti-choice stances, right? Can you talk a little bit about where he is on choice? Yeah. So this is a guy who in 1995 already voted for a national abortion ban with no exceptions to save the life of a woman. It's a guy who joined the lawsuit to overturn Roe versus Wade. It's a guy who joined the lawsuit to overturn Roe versus Wade.

It's a guy who voted to allow child predators to sue to prevent the victims from getting an abortion. So some of the furthest to the right positions you could possibly have on this issue and a real threat to women's freedom over their own bodies. Let me ask you this. Have you been to the Trixie Motel? Yes, yes, I have.

That's cool. Have you met Trixie? No, I wish I have. That's cool. Have you met Trixie? No, I wish I have not. I've done a selfie there, but that's it. That's cool. Has Calvert done a selfie at the Trixie Motel? No, but I would love to see him there. And just fully embracing that he has to completely become a different person,

just full drag. Yeah, he has been campaigning in drag recently, but it's not working for him. And just to keep people because i think people would want to know um which of the two of you is the one that's been endorsed by trump that would be ken calvert you were running in a plus seven trump district and then all of a sudden there's this redistricting and suddenly you have a real shock like what is the actual makeup right now the district like what's gonna happen you have a real shock. Like what is the actual makeup right now of the district? Like what's going to happen? You got a shot at this thing? We got around here. No.

Well, we're also fucking around, but we got a real shot at flipping this seat. And I mean, yeah, Nancy Pelosi and a lot of people like all of a sudden, all of a sudden there was this redistricting and all of a sudden you have like big Democrats coming in trying to help like Calvert's in trouble. He's in trouble. And it's because I think part of what's resonated with people is the story of this race. And I got into it. I spent five years as a federal prosecutor here in the central district, specialized in counterterrorism and counterintelligence cases, got into it after January 6th, after helping prosecute some of the people who attacked the Capitol and seeing what Calvert responded to with that. It was while we were responding in federal law enforcement, he's voting to decertify,

voting against a commission to investigate the attack, and then calling for dropping charges, even after it became clear that five police officers had died as a result of that. And so Republicans who are still moderate, and there are some in my district, and independents do not like people who are critical of, you know, and want to call for dropping charges against people who assaulted cops. And he just said a couple weeks ago that the FBI is infiltrated by rot. And so with 90,000 no party preference voters in the district, this is a real shot for the party to flip the seat, especially now that Democrats outnumber Republicans in the district as well. party to flip the seat, especially now that Democrats outnumber Republicans in the district as well. Should I give the tram a try? Yes, the tram's great. It's cold up there. It's high up.

What if we're afraid of heights? It's cold. Does it feel safe on the tram? I've felt safe. Yeah. Sort of a little bit of a dodge. Reasonably. Yes. Of course course Palm Springs isn't all gay people it's also old people and maybe even some old gay people look we understand that

as somebody running for Congress you're going to appeal to both groups which is why we want to help with a game we're calling

Old Gay Venn Diagrams here's how it works we're going to give you a gay hint and an old hint and you have to figure out what both hints are about. Do some of these barely comport with the spirit of, let alone the actual rules of Venn diagrams?

Let's find out. All right. First up, something you get at Jack in the Box. That's for the old people. Something you were handed by a guy named Jack at a club called The Box. Do you have any guesses? Number two?

It's poppers. The answer was poppers. We were looking for poppers. Next up. I thought number two was pretty good. It was fine. It was good. You're doing great.

We have something old people yell that causes young people to roll their eyes. And we have something that gay people yell that causes straight people to roll their eyes. What is it? Shawn Mendes. Oh, that's close. That's close.

The correct answer was, no one goes to the theater anymore. Next up. You're doing terribly terribly by the way next up again this man may be in congress and he will be in congress I got you

I know how to do it I was a speech writer next up what old people do to stay on top what gay people do to stay on bottom any guesses? Viagra? high fiber diet

so sorry and finally bottom. Any guesses? Viagra? High fiber diet. So sorry. And finally... I'm trying to be really accurate with Viagra. You're doing great. You're doing great politically. You're not winning the game, but you're winning the larger game. The game of politics. Final Venn diagram.

Oops, you didn't realize how early it is versus oops, you didn't realize how late it is. Ooh. West Hollywood? Calling someone at 6 a.m. But West Hollywood, you know what? We're going to give it to you for West Hollywood. Give us a ding, Malcolm.

Thank you so much to Will Rollins. Everybody check, where can people go to help and volunteer, especially people here in L.A., if they want to help out with your campaign? WillRollinsForCongress.com. Donate. Sign up to volunteer. We're in the homestretch, people. That's right. 39 days. Go Vols, everybody.

You know, we didn't know how that game was going to go, and it was messy, but we did have fun, which is gay dating in a nutshell. And speaking of nuts I'd like to date, here's one I totally wouldn't. Matt Rogers, Brad Turbo. March Madness is upon us, and the excitement is palpable. All week, Team Love It or Leave It was abuzz with the unanswered questions of this year's tournament, like, March Madness, that's college basketball, right? And wait, how many players

are on a basketball team? We found out that the answer is 13, with only five players on the court at a time. But that only raised more questions, like, do the other players get sad? Are they allowed to read a book? Do they have to watch? Here to help us get to the bottom of the unknowable mystery that is March Madness, please welcome masculinity expert and returning guest, it's Brad Turbo, everybody.

Hey, Brad. Good to see you, Brad. John, my man. You're looking very high testosterone tonight, buddy. Oh, okay. Thank you. Come here. Let me smell you.

Oh, no. Oh, yeah. That's a high T musk. That's intoxicating, baby. You been knocking back some eggshells? Have I been eating eggshells? Yeah. No, Brad.

Not on purpose. Oh, you're leaving testosterone on the table, brother. Listen, a year ago, I was like you, okay? I was just chugging six raw eggs first thing every morning. I never do that. But then, a guy at the gym showed me this YouTube video. Turns out, the eggshells were all the real health shit's at. You can straight up throw the rest of the egg away.

I know some guys like to blend their shells up in a smoothie, which I guess is fine if you're a fucking pussy. I like to put those big bad boys in a big ol' rusty bowl and crunch on them like Pringles while I'm doing research for my paleo slash pickup advice podcast, Meat Boner. That's a

paleo slash pickup advice podcast called, what is it? It's called meat boner john wow so much to unpack there but i do listen wherever you get your podcast you can it's on yeah stitcher is it on stitcher it's for sure on stitcher it's always everything's on stitcher baby it's 2023 anyway i do want to ask you about marchness before you drop dead of eggshell poisoning. I assume the following. It says here, NCAA Division I's men's basketball tournament. In a word, fuck yeah, J-Dog.

Fuck yeah. I've been rock hard since the first four. Gross, but okay. Listen, thank God for March Madness, John. It's a beacon of masculinity in a dark, yassified world. A breath of dank air after the manhood-withering crucible of awards season. Why would Lady Gaga make me look at her in jeans and no makeup, John? How does she expect a red-blooded American male to jerk off to that?

Glam it up, honey! A little confusing. So it does sound like you watched the Oscars. No, no, no. It was playing at the warehouse where I go to throw truck tires at pictures of her Alaska talks. The TV was broken or something.

Anyway, the death of masculinity is the biggest threat this country faces. So yeah, I watch college boys play basketball like it's my damn job. As someone who hasn't watched a single second of March Madness, let me ask you this. What do you like about it? What's the appeal? Well,

I like finding out which team will completely dominate and humiliate all the other teams, obviously. And I like that they're all really tall. It's like, oops, all alphas. I guess that makes sense. Plus, sometimes I like to pick one of the teams, Princeton, for example,

and imagine that I'm on the team and that those guys are my friends. Huh. Okay, okay, okay. I imagine that we're all in the locker room, maybe getting undressed or whatever, and I just told an awesome joke, and everyone's laughing so, so hard.

One of them, I don't know, sophomore Blake Peters, slaps my back, and then he kind of leaves his hand there. So it's just this warm arm against my back, and I'm like this core beloved part of the group, you know? Just one of the guys. Oh, also it's sick when

they show the chillators, because some of those bitches are hot. Brad Turbo. That was so vulnerable and so honest. What? No, it wasn't. I like watching the ball go in the hoop. Did you know I can fix a car engine with my teeth?

Brad, it sounds like you're a little lonely. No way, John. Loneliness is for unmarried women, fat asses, the lesbian M&M, and dogs whose owners have gone to war. Men can get horny, homicidal, sometimes a horny-cidal combo. The American Royale, I call it. But we don't have the hormone that makes loneliness. Speak for yourself, Brad. You're such a beta, John.

Is it pos... Sure I am. Okay. Fine. Call me that. Brad, is it possible that Marsh Madness... Have you seen Tar yet? Have you yet seen Tar? Brad Turbo, thank you for asking. And I understand why a masculinity expert would want to know if I've seen Tar yet. I do too. To find out how not masculine I am, just to provide a baseline. And

here's the thing. It's hard to find three hours. Can I tell you something, Brad Turbo? I literally didn't go to an Oscar party because I was afraid people would find out. I literally stayed home and watched it by myself because I didn't

want people to know. I'm so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed. I have to watch JAR. When are people watching movies anymore? I got one episode of Survivor in me and then I'm out like a fucking light. Oh, Survivor's really good this year, by the way. I'm not on this season yet. I'm 12 seasons behind. Chill the fuck out.

I'm not going to watch the current season because I like watching the show evolve over time. All right. Go back to your little routine. Brad, speaking of March Madness, is it possible that March Madness gives you some space for emotional catharsis? All that winning and losing and hope and disappointment, does it maybe let you feel some feelings

that you otherwise have to hold in to meet some crushing, outdated model of masculinity? No. I don't have any feelings. I got rid of them to make room for protein. You must have seen that Arkansas player

who was crying after his team beat Kansas. I didn't see any of the game and it was still pretty moving. Doesn't ring a bell but it sounds pathetic. I think we have a clip. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Put in a lot of work. Oh, no, it's crazy. I feel good. I'm glad we came out with the win. What makes you tear up? What are you thinking about? Just putting in the work. This team has been struggling and we figured it out. And I'm glad we did at the right time. And hopefully we continue to do it. You earned it. You enjoy every second of this, young man. Thanks. Congratulations.

Come on, Brad Turbo. That must make you feel something. I've never felt anything. He should be ashamed of himself. An adult man crying just because he beat the top-seeded team and made it to the Sweet 16 against all odds just because he and his best friends worked together to accomplish the impossible? Grow up!

Channel those feelings into lifting weights or building pipe bombs. Brad. Brad, you're clearly crying. No, I'm not! These aren't tears, it's cum. I just have so much because of my supplement regimen

sometimes it backs up and leaks out my eyeballs okay sure that's way less embarrassing than crying god forbid you were crying it's cum any final thoughts

Brad Turbo on March Madness a thing I now understand perfectly who do you think is gonna win? the men of America, John. It's going to rule. That's what I tell all the basketball fans on my fans page.

Your what page? Yeah, it's more of a community. And you know it's legit and cool because you have to love basketball because it's only for fans. Ah, so you have an OnlyFans. No, it's a basketball thing!

I give people workout tips and do workouts and take off my clothes and talk about basketball players' physiques and wiggle my toesies. Well, that's masculine in a way, I guess. People just love how manly I am and I love how it feels to be seen, okay? And what is toxic masculinity if not a performance?

Drag for straight men who still watch Family Guy. I never had one good conversation with their dads. You know you're gay, right? Oh, yeah. Brad Turbo, everybody. Subscribe to Meat Boner and bonus episodes every Wednesday on Meat Boner Plus. Thank you so much. Matt Rogers, everybody.

Everybody, listen to Les Culturises. Come on. Thank you. We'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. Ooh, boy, he needs therapy. Want to know who else makes me go, ooh, boy,

but with an entirely different tone and tenor? Olympian and someone, two people online said I had electric chemistry, but come on, Jesus. I never read these before. Gus Kenworthy. Here we are, two peers ranking sports on the Kinsey scale. The body of an Olympian, the mind of a champion, beloved by Americans for his physical skill and incredible athletic prowess.

My next guest is also pretty cool. Welcome to the stage, Olympic medalist and, more importantly, co-star of American Horror Story 1984, Gus Kenworthy! Hi. Hi. Thank you for being here. How are you?

Thank you so much for making me go after that. It's going to be fine. That was wild. That was wild. She did a great job. I love her. How are you doing? I'm doing well, thanks.

So this is going to be a segment where we're trying something new. And this is going to be called 10 Mostly Easy Questions for Gus Kentworthy. Okay? Okay. Are you ready? I think so. First, what's up with you? What's up?

What's happening? What's next? Oh, just in life in general? Yeah. That's the easy one. Thanks. Thank thank you this is the softball um yeah i am trying to pursue acting like everybody here in la but i've been taking class i've been auditioning i'm excited about it i feel like i'm kind of at the beginning of a new chapter which is exciting for me i was skiing before and feel like i had like kind of reached the beginning of a new chapter, which is exciting for me. I was skiing before and feel like I had kind of reached the top of my career and gone as far as you can go in something. And so it's exciting to now be really back at the beginning.

How difficult did you find it to be set on fire for your new reality TV show, Special Forces, World's Toughest Test? You know, that was one of the easier things that they had us do. Really? Yeah. I mean, we went back to the sort of staging area us test you know that was one of the easier things that they had us do really yeah i mean they like we like went back to the sort of staging area where they're like covering us in like ky jelly

basically and i was like wait what is happening i was like danny amandola where are you but yeah no that then they let us on fire are those real glasses or just for fun they're real glasses yeah i wear them when i drive. I drove here. Next question. To what degree are you aware that your ability to access non-queer spaces is predicated on your handsomeness? I would say that I definitely have a privilege in that I probably come off, well, as I'm crossing my leg looking like a complete faggot, but I probably come off straight in a lot of situations. And I was able to lean on that in my ski career and growing up in a small town. And I, I understand that that's

like its own form of privilege. And a lot of queer people can't lean on that. So some people are like forced to be out at a really early age. And that can be really difficult depending on the environment that you're in and i had my own difficulties being in the closet but i also didn't have that difficulty where people were assuming i was gay oh that's interesting what about that colt guy he's living in the valley um who was the first boy you saw that made you go like oh no i feel like it's embarrassing because he hasn't aged well. Wow.

But I watched TRL before school with my brother, and I was pretty into Carson Daly. Yeah, I get that. I get that. I understand that completely. And Carson, if you're watching, I'm sorry I said that. You aged fine, and I still would do it. And that's so important.

You can only eat one meal forever. What is it? Sushi. S it? Sushi. Sushi? Okay. I think you'll get sick of it. Honestly, and I might. Do you go to the Cheesecake Factory?

Sometimes. What do you get? I fill up on their bread. Yeah, the bread's real good. It's really good. I don't know. I like pasta. I feel like the one thing I don't get there is cheesecake.

Oh, that's stupid. Do you? Yeah. Does everybody? Is that a thing? Am I fucking up? Is that a thing? It's famous for it.'t know. I like pasta. I feel like the one thing I don't get there is cheesecake. Oh, that's stupid. Do you? Yeah. Does everybody? Is that a thing? Am I fucking up? Is that a thing? It's famous for it.

I know. Obviously, it's in the name. It's in the name. If a restaurant is everywhere and has a food item in its name, that food item rules. Do you get olives at the Olive Garden? Wow. Jesus. Coming for me.

Wow. I am murdered. I am murdered. I am dead. Call it in. I've been murdered by Gus Kenworthy. It's gay on gay crime. That witch was right. The psychic foresaw this.

I couldn't believe it. Here it is. It's funny. She said, you're going to get murdered by Gus Kenworthy. And I was like, should we cancel? And I was like, no. Keep him on the schedule. Literally, that's like all my DMs are asking.

It's like, will you murder me? I'm like, I mean, how? Yeah, I think that's probably what they mean. On a podcast? Yeah. That's what they mean. Do you get a lot of DMs asking for you to murder them? Yeah.

I do. Actually, I value the really creative ones. It's all thirst. I mean, a lot of them are like, I do. Actually, I value the really creative ones. Like, it's all thirst. I mean, a lot of them are like, I hate you, and I'm like, whoa, coming at an angle, but I'm like,

still delusional. I'm like, they're into me. But then some of them are like, you could run me over with your car, and I'm like, looking at their profile, I'm like, and I will.

I hit two people on the way here. I didn't put the glasses on. If you could be a world-class athlete in any other sport, what it be the one that interests me that I think would be fun would be diving I feel like I like would be good at it and would like it but in terms of like the life that it gives you which is now what I'm thinking about either like a surfer because you just get to travel with like nothing and be around lots of hot shirtless people or like I don't know maybe like football because they make the most around lots of hot shirtless people or like, I don't know, maybe like football cause they make the most money and also hot shirtless

people. Okay. I would do curling. And honestly, if there was a sport that I thought you could pursue, even at this, at this, that wasn't even meant to be shady.

That wasn't even meant to be shady. I was going to say at this stage in life, like you could, you could pick it up. This goes for everybody. Everybody listening, you could pick up curling tomorrow and like honestly probably go to the Olympics. I've never

curled. I think I could do it professionally. Hey, I have a question. I have a question. Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm a guest on Love It a question. Who the fuck do you think you are? I'm a Gaston. Love it or leave it. This is unbelievable.

This is unbelievable. Ask me how I'm doing again. John, how are you doing? I'm fucking beside myself. I was worried that was what you were going to say. Who's the famous person you were most excited to see on a dating app? Oh, I feel like I literally haven't seen famous people on a dating app. People are always like, John Mayer's on Raya.

Someone said yeah. Confirmed here. I think they put John Mayer in front of people on Raya in the same way that in Bugs Bunny cartoons, they'd put a carrot on a string to draw people in. They dangle it. Yeah. Now we are going to play the Kinsey scale of sports.

And here's how this works, Gus. We're going to put a sport on the screen, and you're going to have to decide on the Kinsey scale basically how gay it is. Right. Kinsey 6 being as gay as it comes. Kinsey 6 is gay as it comes. Does it start at 1 or 0?

0, I think. 0. Okay. 0 is exclusively heterosexual. 6 is exclusively homosexual. Let's start. What do we or zero? Zero. Zero. Okay. Zero is exclusively heterosexual. Six is exclusively homosexual. Let's start. What do we have first? Okay.

First up, pickleball. Pickleball. We have a lovely older couple. We do have a lovely older couple. Good for curling, as Gus would say. They could, if they wanted to go to the Olympics,

all I'm saying is they, it's not too late. It's not too late. Where would you want to put Pickleball on the Kinsey scale? The thing is, I was going to say like,

even just the name Pickle and Balls sounds like very gay, but I feel like it's embarrassing. I don't want to take it exclusively homosexual for the community,

so I'm going to put it right in the middle at equal. I think that's right. I think that's a really good point. Next up, baseball. I think that's right. I think that's a really good point. Next up, baseball.

It just, it feels so straight to me. It's such a straight sport. I agree. I mean, it's like it's America's pastime and so is homophobia. Yeah, and that's a really important point. I put it at the zero. We put it at a zero. That's exclusively heterosexual.

What is the name of the baseball player who later came out as gay but also invented the high five in the 70s? Oh, I don't know. Glenn Burke. So that's cool, but it still was a straight sport. Okay, we'll give it a.5. Give it a.5. We're giving it a.5 for Glenn Burke

who invented the high five. Thank you, Glenn. Thank you, Glenn, for everything that you did. It never ceases to amaze me that the high five is not glenn thank you glenn for everything that you did it never ceases to amaze me that the high five is not something that you could find in like hieroglyphics but in fact no one had conceived of it until the 70s i think that that's amazing could you believe that don't you think that's cool when you think it had been around forever you would do that but actually it was like it blew people's fucking minds yeah they're like people saw someone do that and they were like i need to do that all the time.

I want to know, when did they invent the download too slow? What are the iterations of all of these things? Right, download too slow, where did that come from? That's like Apple. That's exclusively straight, too. That's like tricking children. It's like the download too slow is the Zune to the Hi-Fives iPod.

I don't know what Zune is. God damn it, Gus Kenworthy. I was born in 2001. Okay. I wasn't. He wasn't. He wasn't. He remembers 9-11.

You remember 9-11. I do. Next up. Never forget, Don. And we'll never forget it. We'll never forget it. Next up, we have Ice Dancing.

Ice Dancing is pretty exclusively homosexual. Yeah. Is it a five? Is it a six? What do you think? I'm tempted to go six, but I think five. I think we need to leave room for something to be gayer. Yeah.

To wit, MMA cage fighting. What do you think? Honestly, I'm going to put it right there at pickleball. It's like straights adore it, but it's very gay. What do you think? Honestly, I'm going to put it right there at pickleball. It's like straights adore it. Yeah. But it's very gay. It's like you can see in it what you want, you know?

It's like Mona Lisa's smile. They always say that. And they always say that. Next up, women's soccer. Okay. Women's soccer? Women's soccer is so gay. Even the photo you posted is a lesbian Megan Rapinoe kiss.

Yes. I'm going to put it, someone did it before I even said it, but I was going to say a six. Women's soccer is a six. It's a six. It's just a Kinsey six. They're all gay. They're all gay. They're all dating each other. It's cool.

They should make a show about it. I would watch. And we would watch it. Next up, men's soccer. Honestly, I mean, it still sort of lends to the stereotype or trope for lesbians that they're so tough because they are but i would say that makes it exclusively homosexual but for the same reason the men like it's like so dramatic they fall in the field they're holding their shin they're looking for a red card i'm like girl

we all saw it it didn't happen yeah it's a. It's a six. It's a six. Wow. Okay. It's a really good point. It's a really good point. It's very good. It's a really good point. Me putting soccer gayer than ice dancing. Next up, dressage.

Six. Six. The name alone. Even though Ann Romney did it, even though Ann Romney was- Michelle Dressage. And the hilarious Ross Matthews. Sorry, I'll stop.

Next up, it's a sport that I am decrepit enough to maybe succeed in that my unathletic aging form could potentially manage to heave a rock across ice without injuring myself. That I wouldn't necessarily be humiliated by my failure to stand there. It's curling. We're talking about curling. I know. And the thing is, I feel like you're

starting to see a future in it, which I love. And I'm going to say, like I said before, anyone can do this. It's a three. It's right in the middle. It's for everyone. The comment wasn't just at you. I'm just like so owned by Gus Kenworthy It was just like not how I thought this would go We need to get you one of those like

Chain collars the little lot I just assumed I'd be able to outwit you Because you're so handsome Oh my god you better start But I couldn't I lost I lost on the only field in which I had a chance to win.

My home field. But honestly, I'm super competitive. Next up, beach volleyball. Beach volleyball. I mean, honestly, that scene in Top Gun was probably pretty formative in me being gay.

Four. We haven't used being gay. Yeah. Four. Four? We haven't used four yet. Yeah, we haven't used four. I agree. I think it is four. It's obviously quite gay, but really it also just exposes the way in which being a straight man in some sense means loving men in a way no gay person ever could. You know what i'm saying that there's a quality of

heterosexual straight guy to straight guy love that way in which they only really see each other that is a level of adoration that none of the rest of us can ever experience you know what i'm saying honestly i don't know if i followed it but yes and i agree I agree. And finally, bowling. Well, I would say that that's a two. Two, yeah, I agree. It's mostly straight, but gays can get into it. If there isn't, there should be a gay bowling league.

It must exist. People don't bowl anymore. I don't know where to go bowling. If I want to go bowling right now. Okay, I have Google. Apparently a lot of places. There's a lot of bowling. Any final thoughts or apologies or anything?

Yeah. I want that girl to apologize for what she said about the uncut penises. Honestly, the audio backstage was bad, so I don't even fully know if I understood what they were saying and that wasn't an audio issue okay okay and that's what I thought it was genuinely I was being generous it was genuinely confusing because the thing about an uncircumcised penis is fool me once shame on me you know maybe it's because I'm gay but I feel like I'm like

oh twist fun yeah there's no like disappointment yeah it like, it's very rare to go to a restaurant and they do the thing where they have, like, the old-fashioned metal thing where they lift it up and reveal the food beneath. Take it away. Thank you so much, Gus. Yes, thank you. Catch Gus on Fox's Special Forces every Wednesday night.

And you can also see him in 80 for Brady. What is Brady? We're excited to learn. When we come back, Katrina Davis ventures in the darkest of the dating apps and Gus will be back for the love wheel. Can't wait. That was so great. Thank you.

That was really great. Wow, sports sure can be fun when you aren't forced to play them. We thought sports were to straights as award shows are to queers, but the Spike Guys Choice Award proved that analogy to be dead wrong. Here's Louis Vertel

tackling the one award show he never saw coming. This Sunday is the 95th Annual Academy Awards. Here's Louis Vertel tackling the one award show he never saw coming. This Sunday is the 95th Annual Academy Awards. Here to slap me across the face for publicly insulting his beautiful wife, it's the one and only,

the host of Keep It, Louis Vertel. Come on out, Louis. How you doing, Louis? I'm great. I just want to say, your Mitch McConnell impression before,

did he have a Liverpool accent? What was going on there it was giving ringo star that's really nice of you to say uh when i do an impression it is literally just that an impression oh okay and you don't know what you're gonna get you know who did a lot of impressions like that robin williams like when he would do a little voice like this like who were you imitating sometimes it was just like like voices. Yeah, they're just voices. I mean, yeah. It's just wherever the coke takes you. Right, yeah. All right.

What is the Oscar controversy you personally care about the most this year? This year? Honestly, as just an obsessive viewer, not a writer on the telecast, just how we can possibly top the insanity of last year. I remember sitting there watching the Will Smith thing and just thinking,

I've never seen anything like this before. And it's not like I really even cared to talk about it. I just, it's banked in my mind as this, there will never be another moment like this thing. So I don't know for better or for worse that we have to follow that up, but can we? I'm curious. So many things have become so routine and so kind of corporatized. Yes. You know, the mobsters don't own the casinos. The reward shows are pretty predictable. That really was a moment where like, it felt like from before these things were televised, do you remember in the very early seasons of Drag Race,

they really didn't remember they were on television because they barely were. And so like, they really just like, winning this is what mattered. They wanted to destroy each other. They didn't think about the narrative. They didn't think about the narrative. They didn't think about the story they were telling. I felt like it was from that time.

I want to say something about early Drag Race 2. Something that I think we're missing now is that in the early seasons, it was really like hardened queens who had just been out there at clubs, finally meeting up to like beat each other on television. And there was a real angst about that. And now they're all like nice and like TikTok oriented. It's just like, I miss when there was just a resting,

I'm 42 and I've had it energy about Drag Race. I think that's right. I think that's right. Do you think a mob is going to storm the stage when Andrea Risborough wins for to Leslie? I'm going to be a part of the mob, supportively. That's my Jan six moment.

Yeah. Did you guys see 2Leslie? No one saw 2Leslie. I know. It's like 11 people all together saw it, including me. That's it. She really is amazing in it. She was always in my top five for the season, so it doesn't feel crazy to me that she's in the final five lineup.

That said, she's been very scarcely seen this awards season, and I think that's on purpose. Yeah, it's the sort of thing like this award season, and I think that's on purpose. Yeah, it's the sort of thing like, I got the nomination. I probably shouldn't press my luck. Yeah, right. Don't draw the evil eye. Can you explain the Michelle Yeoh Instagram controversy and how we should feel about it? Sure. So somebody on her team may have been Michelle Yeoh posted an article that said a lot of things, mostly just in support of her performance. But it also said, you know,

there's only been one actress of color to win Best Actress Ever, and it's been 20 years since that happened. That was Halle Berry. That was 20 years ago? God damn it, we are getting fucking old. We're quite old. Jesus, I was an adult. Keep going. Forget it. Forget it. Keep moving. But the gist of the article could be seen

as, you know, saying don't vote for Cate Blanchett or whatever, like anti-Cate Blanchett a little bit. And so people wondered if it was against the rules, basically. And of course, those are gray areas with Academy voting anyway. So she took it down, but people were mad at her for, you know, because it was the last day of Oscar voting, too,

so it could have swayed people in her favor, et cetera. Hey, do you have any more questions about how Brendan Fraser became fat? Are you interested in any more dialogue about that? I've only seen hundreds of hours of commentary about it. Yeah. I remember the movie Shallow Hell. I'm not surprised we can still pull it off. No. Lewis. Yes. The world knows you have a compendium of Oscar knowledge. Yes. Wisdom we've tested right here on this very stage, but we're going to put you to the test. Okay. It wasn't enough to quiz you on this year's awards or past year's awards.

We took a step back in our size 2 small Christian Louboutins, which the stylist made us wear, but neglected to mention we're so tight. Louis, you are now about to take not only Oscars trivia, but trivia about Spike TV's Guy's Choice Awards.

Oh, Jesus. Viacom's celebration of all things Guy that ran, if you can really believe it, from 2007 all the way to 2016,

as if Spike TV saw the nation-elect, the Guy's president, and said, we should probably stop. We've done enough. Which is why we're calling today's quiz

Men on the Oscars or the Oscars for Men. Oh, my gosh. Can I call glad? Oh my god. This feels violent. Cate Blanchett is the only Oscar winner among this year's crop of Best Actress nominees. What films did

she previously win for? Just Cate Blanchett's win. So she won for The Aviator and Blue Jasmine. Correct. That's not a wow. I can name all her nominations. Two people have Nobel Pri prizes and Oscars. Who are they? George Bernard Shaw.

Correct. And, uh, as the other one, it's not kind of one more. Who's the other one? We could add this year issue guru who's nominated for a living, but that's not who you're talking about.

And they have, yeah, nope. And the other one is a Nobel prize winner. It's not Pearl S. Buck, is it? No. Oh, who's the other one? Uh, singer. Oh, Bob not Pearl S. Buck, is it? No.

Who's the other one? Singer. Oh, Bob Dylan, of course. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. A Nobel. Yeah, you wrote songs. Seems a little cheap, ultimately.

Right. Could they find someone people might not know a lot about and lift up incredible work that might be a bit more esoteric? Sure, they could. Or you can give Bob Dylan the award. Right. Did he even go? I don't even know that he went.

Which of the following was not a category at any installment of the Guy Awards? Oh, God. Okay. Was it A, naughty as Cybervixen, B, hot and smart, the ultimate package, C, Jean-Claude Goddamn, or D, hotter than hell?

You're saying only one of those is fictional. Only one of those is fictional. Three of them are real. Man, I just can't imagine Jean-Claude Van Damme would be much of a player culturally during that time, so I'm going to say that one. No, incorrect. It was Hot and Smart.

They only cared about half of that. I just want to say that it's rare that two things are a complete package anyway. I should have seen through that. It should be a triple threat. Like short. Can you name the five Irish actors nominated for awards this year? And can you say all of them in an Irish accent?

Oh, God. I will spare them that, unfortunately. So you got your Colin Farrell. Correct. Cary Condon. Yep. Brendan Gleeson. Correct.

Barry Keoghan. Uh-huh. And Paul Meskel. Wow. Yeah. Cary Condon. Yep. Brendan Gleeson. Correct. Barry Keoghan. Uh-huh. And Paul Meskel. Wow. Yeah. Judd Hirsch now has the record for the longest period between Oscar nominations. How many years has it been since his last nomination? Okay, so he's nominated this year for a very small part in the Fablemans, and his last

was for one of my favorite Best Picture wins of all time, Ordinary People in 1980, and the 81 ceremony. Fucking correct. That's another thing, that it was an Oscar for 80 in the 81 Ceremony. It's a huge thing in Oscar trivia when they're asking the question, if they say the year,

that's the year of the ceremony. I'm like, oh, this is amateur hour. I have to leave. It's the year of the movie. Yeah, right. It's the year of the fucking movie. Who did Mickey Rourke beat in 2009 for Guy of the Year?

Woof. He had that much of a moment with the wrestler that they're like, in 2009 for Guy of the Year? Woof. He had that much of a moment with the wrestler that they're like, he's the Guy of the Year. No other men qualified. Well, several other competed, but only one could win. Who did Mickey Rourke beat in 2009 for Guy of the Year? I'm going to go with Barack Obama. Correct.

That is correct. Spike TV awarded Guy of the Year. Correct. That is correct. Spike TV awarded Guy of the Year to Mickey Rort over Barack Obama. One, a sensitive portrayal

of a wrestler at the end of his career. The other, the first black president in American history. Todd Field is nominated this year for Best Original Screenplay for Tar. He was previously nominated twice

for Best Adapted Screenplay. What are those films? Well, Todd Field has only made three movies. So the other two are In the Bedroom and Little Children. Correct. Which both of those are amazing. If you're not up on Todd Field's work,

it takes you only six hours to see it all. Only three films have ever swept Best Picture, Director, Actress, Actor, and Screenplay. Can you name the three? It Happened One Night. Correct. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Correct.

Love watching the fucking neuron synapses firing. Wait, that's it? No. I believe you more than this card, but this card says there's one more movie. Hold on. Actor, actress. I don't think there is.

What is it? That's a confident one. What have I told you? Oh, Silence of the Lambs. Silence of the Lambs. I forgot that. Does it count? Is it real?

Yes. Yeah, we did it. Yes. Yes. I was like, was it really a screenplay? Yes. Who was honored in 2008 for a decade of hotness? And you're not going to believe this, the illustrious Decade of Hotness Award.

Was it A, Decade of Hotness Drew Barrymore, B, Decade of Hotness Cameron Diaz, C, Decade of Hotness Penelope Cruz, or D, Decade of Hotness Olivia Munn? A decade would be a little long for Olivia Munn, so I'm going to vote her out.

What was the second one? Cameron Diaz. I think it's Cameron Diaz. Correct. Yeah. Bringing the same correctness to the guys' words. Cameron Diaz is so synonymous with the early 2000s, like the entire reason we believed in low-rise jeans

is because of Cameron Diaz. Yeah, that's right. Single-handedly. That's right. She hurt a lot of people. Across this year's acting categories, only four performers have been previously nominated for an Oscar.

Angela Bassett and Michelle Williams are two. Who are the others? Cate Blanchett and Judd Hirsch. Yeah. Yeah. Who was the last honoree in the Oscars in Memoriam Reel in 2017? Ooh.

There's not a trick to this. They weren't secretly alive or something. Do I get a hint on this one? You're Our Only Hope. Oh, Carrie Fisher? I'm actually surprised it's not older than that. Which two people were pitted against each other during the 2009 Best Bush Matchup?

Holy shit. Oh, the Bush twins. You're on the right track. Oh. It was Will Ferrell and Josh Brolin. Oh, I get it. Yes, yeah, yeah. And finally. Okay.

Which of these is not a category that was once used at Spike Guy Choice Awards? All right. A, Best Girl on Girl Scene. B, Hott on girl scene. B, hottest twins. C, historical wood hit. Or D, porn again.

That's right. Three of those are real. Yes. Which one is fake? I want to be clear. The fourth one is porn again. Like born again. Yes.

Like porn again. As in they did porn once and then they decided to do it a second time. Or maybe they were doing porn, then left porn, then Like born again. Yes. Like porn again. As in they did porn once and then they decided to do it a second time. Or maybe they were doing porn then left porn then returned to it. What was the second one? Hottest Twins.

I'm going to go with that. No, it was Historical Wood Hit. But, you know, it's just for fun. 1956, Best Supporting Actress.

Oh, Dorothy Malone in Written on the Wind. 1991, best director. Jonathan Demme for Science of the Lambs. 1987, best supporting actor. It should have been Vincent Gardena for Moonstruck, but it was Sean Connery in The Untouchables. 1972, best adapted screenplay.

Hmm, that's The Godfather. Thank you so much, Lewis. Go listen to Keep It, and go watch Jimmy Kimmel. And if you laugh at a joke on Oscar Sunday... Oh, yes, I'm writing on this Oscar, so you have to laugh no matter what. You've encouraged it tonight, so...

When we come back, get off the tracks, and old-timey villain is here. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. What a collection of despicable award show categories. A not despicable collection? Merch.

The Cricut store's whole collection of Pride merch to help you celebrate and fight back against the total freaks obsessed with what we wear and where we put it. The collection has everything from tees to bags, so you can stock up. I'm not going to tell you how to celebrate Pride, but I will say that if you don't ruin at least one article of clothing, you could probably be doing more. So grab an extra tee. Plus, a portion of the proceeds will be donated

to Vote Save America's Fuck Bans Fund, and you know what it does. It supports organizations on the ground fighting in states that are banning care and targeting trans youth. You get the thrill of supporting organizers combined with the thrill of buying something online. It's win-win.

Head to Cricut.com slash store to check out the whole Pride collection. Also, a reminder, Love It or Leave It will be kicking off the Errors Tour in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts on June 22nd and June 23rd. Join me in a great lineup of guests, including Chris Fleming, Casey Newton, Dylan McIver, Adam Savage, and more. We have two amazing shows lined up. One is sold out, but there's still some tickets for the other. Head to crooked.com slash events to get your tickets today. And they're going fast for a bunch of these shows, so don't wait because some of them are pretty close

to selling out. Sometimes being gay is thinking long and hard about the most pressing ethical conundrums of the day. And that's exactly what I did with Brendan Scannell and Robin Tran. The world is full of ethical conundrums. Is it morally wrong to laugh at Marjorie Taylor Greene's call for a national divorce, knowing she herself is currently getting a divorce? Is it wrong to invent deepfake technology that can kind of simulate the president's voice, knowing that someone will use it to have Biden, say, call Vladimir Putin a six-foot-tall cabbage patch doll with a baby's chin?

Is it morally acceptable to edit the unsavory boots out of Roald Dahl books? Wait a minute. Okay, we're going to do that in every other segment. But first, here to tackle some other tough questions, welcome to the stage the hilarious Robin Tran and the wonderful Brendan Scannell. Hi, come on out. Hi, John. Great to see you both.

Hi, hi, hi. Hi. How's it going? What's happening? First of all, Robin, welcome. Thank you. Hi, everyone. Hi.

Thank you. Do you consider yourself to be an ethical person? Do I consider myself to be an ethical person? Yeah No, I mean, not really I mean, I like to I'm ethical, but mean, I guess I think that's cool

Do you? Well, it's interesting I'm sorry, go ahead Thank you for the question. Thank you for the question. Get him. Yeah. Oh, I'm getting suspicious here. I do think, as long as you don't think you need manners to be ethical, I'm doing great.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So you're ethical but rude. I'm definitely rude at a kind of deep and fundamental level. Yeah. It's something I'm working on. Yeah, you really eased into it.

You think you're an ethical person? It's the first time we've you really eased into it. You think you're an ethical person? It's the first time we've ever talked to each other. Do you think you're an ethical person? It's like, oh, um, yes. Yes. Didn't ask me. Doesn't seem very ethical. He knows the answer.

Oh, sorry. Do you consider yourself to be an ethical person? I do, yeah. Oh, I should have just said that. Actually, I don't know if I'm an ethical person. I really don't like to lie. You know, gay spent my whole adolescence lying. It scares me to lie.

So I try to be really honest at all times. Honest Abe, that's what they call me. That's where that nickname comes from. That's where it came from. It says here, do you guys know Brian? What? Who? This segment was his idea.

These sound like trick questions. Well, do you think it's ethical to hold him accountable if this segment doesn't work? No. I think that you are held accountable, right? It's your show, right? Doesn't the buck stop with you? I think it's not. That's a good point.

It's ethical to tell someone they're doing a bad job if they're doing a bad job. That's interesting are you familiar with the new york times column the ethicist yes uh producer brian is and every week the nyu philosophy professor kwame anthony appia tackles some of the weirdest most heartbreaking questions ever submitted to the gray lady he's got training but we've got something even more important. Time to fill. Are you ready to put your ethical hats on? Sure. Let's do it. Yeah.

All right. And keep in mind, you did buy those hats secondhand to avoid contributing to fast fashion. Ethically. What? No, that's a really good point. All right. These are ethical questions that the ethicists tackled, but we're going to tackle them instead.

All right, Brennan, you'll go first. That's great. For those at home, I'm holding the lever in the trolley problem. It looks like you're holding a plunger. I'm holding a plunger in the trolley problem. I'm dealing with a separate problem. All right. I accidentally clogged a toilet, and it's not even my home.

I'm a guest. And I look out my window, and it's like, oh, my God, that trolley is either going to hit five people or one person. It looks like you're going to use it as a weapon to kill all the people on the tracks, actually. It's a visual joke. You'll go home. It does look like that. It'll play in the pod it'll play it'll play it'll crush all right all right robin brennan here we go someone lonely considers me a friend should i stay in his life i pretend to like him but i don't find spending time with him enjoyable he's depressed and difficult is it wrong

to be a fake pal of the other option is this motherfucker has literally zero friends help. You got to cut this guy loose. I'm telling you, you are taking up space in his life by pretending to be his friend. Ghost him. Stop going to the potlucks. Don't do the coffees. Don't go to the concert. And allow him to find somebody else who he actually connects with.

I think it's really good. It's a very ethical point. I think it's really good. It's very ethical. I think it was very ethical. It's how I have gotten rid of most of my friends from college, this mentality. That's really smart. That's really smart. You're okay with ghosting

or you're not doing friend breakups? I've done that LA thing where if I get a text from somebody that I haven't talked to in a while, I just go, the universe doesn't need this. I texted you. Yeah, you texted me yesterday

to do the show today because somebody else dropped out. I don't know how ethical that was. Robin, what do you think? I think you should quiet quit the friendship. Just take longer to respond. Oh, I'm so busy.

Just slow it down. Slow it down, yeah. Just slow it down, but not ghost. Slowly ghost more. Just get them accustomed to it takes a while to respond and stuff. Yeah, and it's like you're slowly going transparent, like you're in the Back to the Future photo. You'll never ghost, but at some point, you're gone.

Yeah, yeah. There needs to be a name for that style of slow ghosting. Just being a piece of shit. Oh, can we curse on this? I don't know. The slow ghost? It's called gaslighting. Yeah, that's the word you're looking for.

All right, next question. Am I obligated to look after my insufferable mother? On the one hand, she has a mental illness that she has never been able to accept. No, no obligation. Nope, not at all. First of all, I didn't choose to be born. You had me. i my obligation with you is over you know i think that a lot of shows in the 90s had like the love your family no matter what trope and i think it was like baby boomers writing this to like gaslight people into loving

them without deserving it at all and um i don't believe in sticking around with biological family of their crappy or friends of their crappy. You know, I think it's chosen family is better. I'm pro-choice, even when it comes to... By the way, I would cut her out even if she was nice, whoever's asking. If you don't like her, just cut her out. I don't know what's the issue.

I feel like I'm going to say yes, you do have to take care of your mom even if she sucks. And you should. Especially if she has a mental illness that you, as maybe like an armchair psychiatrist, believe that she has. Like, I'm sorry. You were the only thing potentially preventing your mother from either dying alone or dying on the streets, it's time to step up. Wow. And controversial in the house. These people have all kicked

their mothers to the fucking curb. These people have been ignoring their bipolar siblings. These people have been not responding to their friends from college texts. These people are cold-blooded. He's actually describing me. I think I just triggered myself.

I'm sorry. I was taking Eminem's lead. Eminem didn't like his mom, and I grew up with Eminem. Eminem is... Yeah, and she sued him twice. She did. For libel.

What? Eminem's mom sued Eminem for libel? Like, for like $10 million, yeah. Oh, that's a good move. That's a good move. Get a settlement. Who wants to make that go away? But clearly not a great mom.

No, not a great mom. That's not a great mom move, suing your kids. It was actually Eminem who wrote it in the question. Yeah, that's what 8 Mile 2 was going to be about. It was going to be like a Sorkin-esque legal drama. 16 Mile, no? Sorry. 2-8-Mile-2-Furious. legal drama. 16 mile. No? Sorry. Two, eight

mile, two periods. Alright. Next up. Long ago, I bought a human skull. What should I do with it? I purchased it in the 1970s through a medical supply company. Wanting to know its source, I had to test it.

The lab couldn't pull any DNA to prove its origin, but with the advancement of DNA technology, I feel like they could in the future. My children Help. That's an interesting one. We all have a cabinet or a drawer or a box or a closet in our home that is the one where we gave up. You know what I mean? You know when you move into a new place and you unpack and you do a great job and you get the things up on the wall, but then there's just a stack of things that are the last things and you never dutch them.

You never get to them. Those are the things you didn't finish unpacking. Now imagine there's a skull in there. Robin, what do you do? I think he should take the skull, go to the police department, and turn himself in for being a sociopath. That's my

answer. I don't want to know this person. Quiet, quit this friendship with this person. Yikes, man. Tough thing to find in the medicine cabinet when you're snooping. Brendan, what would you do with the skull? Now with these like modern 23 and me type things my fear is that you would take this skull in and you would learn that

this skull was like part of some larger murder mystery and then next thing you know bam you're being interviewed for some stupid netflix documentary and then the next thing you know bam someone's outside your house because they're a super fan, and then they murder you. And so I'm anti-murder pod. I'm anti-murder documentary. And so I think what you do is you just give it a good stomp. I think I really appreciate that.

I think I put this skull in the category of don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to. You know what I mean? You have to be ethical to yourself and your own time. Yeah, that's true. Respect yourself. Hey, hey. Put that thing in the fucking garbage.

Compost it. It goes right in the loamy. The next thing you know, you're going to be like one of those memes, like the guy from the Fyre Fest documentary who told everyone that he sucked dick in exchange for water. And then all of a sudden, you're on Twitter. It's your face and people being like,

that feeling when I, and it's you when you find out the skull you've had for 20 years is a murderer. No. Yeah, it's like, it's Jimmy Huff's skull. People are asking you what you'll do a blowjob for. It's like, you don't need it. You don't need it. People are asking you what you'll do a blowjob for. It's like you don't need it. You don't need it.

I do think you should do like a video saying goodbye. Like you put on the Green Day song, you know, and then you do a photo shoot. The one. Well, the one you play. The one that they play at the end of like high school dances. Good riddance parentheses time of your life. And then I would throw it in the garbage. Okay, next. written parentheses time of your life yeah and the uh and then i would throw it in the garbage okay my cousin who is a paramedic in our town told me my good oh i know this one this is the best one

this honestly set off quite a little debate at crooked my cousin who is a paramedic in our town told me my good friend's brother didn't actually die by suicide which is what the family believes but rather of auto erotic asphyxiation. My friend is understandably deep and broken up about their brother's inexplicable suicide, which they have always believed was a suicide for many years. He has now come to find out it wasn't a suicide at all,

but it's information he isn't supposed to have because it was passed on illicitly by someone who should have protected the privacy of the person who ultimately died of autoerotic asphyxiation. You know, you're not supposed to know, the family believes their loved one died of suicide. Do you tell them?

Yes. I love that. What? I love that. Who the fuck do you think you are? You die with that information. Like a good Irish Catholic. You think you don't tell them?

Robin, what do you think? I don't think that you tell them with your own voice. You call with a little... Oh, I see. I have information with... You get like A.I. Meryl Streep. A.I. Meryl Streep tells them. But I think I would be relieved that the person just wanted to come super hard rather than they're depressed or something, you know?

That would make me happy, like, you know. Oh, okay. I see that. So you're basically saying, like, it was an accident. You didn't do anything wrong. He just had a wank. Yeah. He just had a wank.

He was actually really cool, you know, the way he... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm had a wank. Yeah. He just had a wank. He was actually really cool. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know. You asked me if I'm ethical and I said no. Yeah, I mean it's an interesting thing. It's like two competing I think it's like which ethical value do you care about more? One, the ethic of medical privacy in general

or two, the ethic of giving people information that would assuage their terrible feelings. And I think in this case, you should tell them. That's my feeling. I just don't care about medical privacy at all. I didn't know that we were supposed to care about that. I tell everyone what pills I take and stuff.

Is that something that's against the law? All right, well. I mean, I told the newspaper what medications my mom was on. I didn't know I was supposed to do that. No, I think that's cool. We're getting a really good sense of your relationship there. What newspaper? What newspaper?

What newspaper? It's a long story yeah cause I think that like your point that like it was cool it was just a wank it's like the reason

it was so secretive is if there was something shameful that happened but really it was just an accident with some sexual shame on top

yeah it was stupid well it's like can we not say that that was stupid well yeah I don't think it's smart but uh but no but if like if this person It was stupid Can we not say that that was stupid? Well, yeah, I don't think it's smart But if this person fell off a bicycle But it looked like they had taken their own life

You'd be like, of course tell them Let's say you fell off a bicycle on a bridge So you fell off a bicycle and then you came? That's what I was thinking too There's just a puddle of cum That's what I was thinking, too. There's just a puddle of cum. That's what I was thinking, too. I am saying, separately,

an historian without the fucking masturbating, that someone's on a bike, they trip, they fly off a bridge, the family here thinks it's suicide because somebody steals the bike. I don't know. I'm inventing a fucking thing. What are they doing? Oh, my God.

And then there would be no question. Of course they'd want to know. Later they found footage or something. Of course you'd tell them. Because there's nothing shameful about falling off a bike. But in our fucking Puritan society, there's something shameful about dying while, you know. You can't even say it. Masturbating.

Masturbating. I could say masturbating. I just was trying to think of something fun but I didn't have anything because I've just wank is really masturbating is very fun

wank cleared out the brain space let's do one more should I let my brother know he was adopted our parents are elderly and not long for this world

I mean if you don't like your brother you should like find a time to tell him where it really hurt his feelings like I'm just picturing like i don't like my family very much so i'm like i would like save it for like an argument

yeah no and that's that's that's and look and i just for anyone listening if you're listening to this i think you've raised such a really important point and look I? Look, this is, this is, and look, this is a show, we take pride in being a place like a queer space, and as three queer people on stage, we just want, if you're listening at home and you're in the closet, just know the best and smartest way to tell people you're gay is in the heat of an argument. That's when you

want to do it. Use it as a weapon. Shock people. Upset people. The older and more Christian, the better. Thank you. Just reminded me more Christian, the better. Thank you. Just reminded me I wanted to say that. I was meant to say that today. I'm not fucking gay, by the way.

No, I'm kidding. I don't know what the fuck this guy's talking about. I said... Okay. All right, that's how you want to do this? That's how you want this to go? Are we telling them they're adopted or not? I ain't touching this one.

Sometimes I feel like if you're writing into the New York Times with this type of information, I'm just like, get a life. And that's the most important part. Figure it out yourself. Talk to a therapist. I don't know this one. What do you guys think? Interesting.

Oh yeah, steal their blood. Here's my feeling on this. Inherent in this question is the idea that there's anything at all wrong with being adopted. There's nothing. It's not a bad thing at all. I actually would be, like, stoked if I was adopted. It's like, oh, you guys chose to have me? I feel like you have to have was adopted. It's like, oh, you guys chose to have me?

It's okay. You have to have a sense of what the brother, how it would affect the brother, you know, if the truth of that would be good for them, right? Yeah, well, he does wear the brother. I should add that the brother wears a sweatshirt that says, love my Italian DNA. It just says, va-va-voom. Coming at your Italian several times tonight.

Hold me accountable. Capisce? And on that note, check out Robin on That's My Time with David Letterman. I've watched it. It's a great episode. Everybody should check that out. And for Brendan's plug, he'd like you to know he's a fan of mine. Hey, everybody.

Stop emailing us about the skull. Anyway, here it is, the high note. Hey, Love It. It's Eve in Seattle, and my high note is getting to see Joni Mitchell perform with Brandi Carlile and a bunch of other amazing musicians this weekend. Joni's been my favorite singer-songwriter for as long as I can remember, so this concert was extra special and unforgettable. My bonus high note is listening to your interview with Hillary Clinton on Pod Save America this week. Thanks for everything you do. Hey, Love It, this is Monica Samantha, and my high note for the week is the library staff and community who came together last weekend to overpower what was supposed to be a rally

against the library's Drag Story Hour events. Supporters outnumbered protesters 20 to 1 in full admiration and love and unyielding support. The Drag Story Hour events are happening this weekend as planned because we would have never canceled them. So happy Pride, everyone, and love it, my sisters who got me hooked on Crooked, and I will see you in SS for the Thursday show before that, we lived in D.C. for a long time. The very first day we moved here, my husband went to a rally in support of trans rights, and that led to him getting invited to a progressive potluck, which led to him getting

invited to a rally in support of Drag Story Hour, which led to him getting invited to the county political organization. He actually just got elected to lead the county democratic organization, which is super exciting. Even though we're new to Montana, they were thrilled to have somebody with so much passion and energy who was committed to turning Park County blue. And allegedly, all we needed was 800 votes to do it. So Max and I, we listen to your podcast on all of our long drives.

We always listen together. And I just want to tell him I love him. I'm proud of him. He's going to do a great job, and he's fighting the good fight. Thanks. Bye. Hi, Lovett. I'm Heather from New Jersey.

And my high note for this week is that my 5-year-old daughter, who is a soon-to-be pre-K graduate, has her first wiggly tooth. She discovered a few mornings ago, and after initially feeling really nervous about the prospect of losing a tooth, is now feeling very excited. And for me, it's a reminder to try to celebrate the simple moments of wonder and joy as we continue to navigate this seemingly endless cycle of bad news and policy enactment. Thanks to you and everyone at Crooked for helping me to laugh, stay informed, and remain engaged when things feel really hard. Thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at 323-538-2377. That is our clip show. Thank you so much to Will Rollins, Matt Rogers, Gus Kenworthy, Louis Vertel, Robin Tran, and Brendan Scannell. There are 507 days until

the 2024 elections. Have a great Pride and see you in San Francisco. Love to Leave It is a Cricket Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer. And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pauly Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, Chandler Dean are our writers.

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