Lovett or Leave It - Roll Tidings of Comfort and Joy

Episode Date: December 16, 2017

Doug Jones wins! Omarosa is chopped or whatever. And Lovett or Leave It closes the books on 2017 with a holiday AKA Christmas spectacular. Favreau and Vietor compete to remember all the people Trump fired. Kara Brown, Colton Dunn, and Alice Barker join to discuss everything from Alabama to bitcoin. Ira Madison III of “Keep It” stops by for OK, Stop. And Tim Miller takes us back to the Cuck Zone one last time. Weird year. See you in 2018!

What is up? Welcome to the final episode of Love It or Leave It in 2017. It is our, we're saying Merry Christmas again, holiday, spectacular. It is always a huge tree and the shittiest menorah in every lobby and every business you walk in and it's like a a fir tree that that lived through the building of the pyramids and thomas pain walked by it and World War II happened near it and they cut it down and they bring it to the lobby

and they set it up and it touches the ceiling and they decorate it and then somebody just puts just a piece of shit menorah next to it. Happy Hanukkah. How are those nachos do you think that it reflects poorly on Planned Parenthood

that you're eating those nachos while wearing that shirt or do you think it's just my body my choice my body my choice. That was very good. You did get the better of me on that one. Should we start the show? Probably. All right, I want to kick off the show first by saying,

so Love It or Leave It will be back on January 13th. We're going to come back with a big London show, which is very exciting. Love It or Leave It is going on tour. We just announced dates in Portland, Seattle, Oakland, San Diego, Denver, Austin, Miami, Chicago, Minneapolis, Sacramento. Are some of those shows selling out? Yeah, that's something that's happening. But we're adding more shows. So don't even worry about it. If you checked and it sold out and you thought, oh's something that's happening. But we're adding more shows. So

don't even worry about it. If you checked and it sold out and you thought, oh, I was too slow. I'm so how could I have not? How could I have been so? There'll be more. And you can go to crooked dot com slash events to get tickets for Love It or Leave It to get tickets for Pod Tours America. So many fun things. I wanted to kick off the show tonight with something a little different. Obviously, it is our last show of the year. And a lot's gone on, right? A lot of people have come. A lot of people have gone.

So I would like to invite my Pod Save America co-host. Please welcome Jon Favreau and Tommy Vitor. Welcome to Love It or Leave It. Hi, Tommy. Happy Hanukkah. Remember the first couple of these you did in that room? Oh, I do. In the smaller room.

It was very exciting. I had just a Sharpie, a stack of index cards, and a dream. You know? Just a couple of kids. So we are going to play a game. The game is called Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out. Here's how it works.

You know, a lot of people did not make it through their year working in and around the Donald Trump White House. And so I am going to read clues about various members of the administration who no longer are affiliated with it, at least officially. I'm going to get more and more specific. This is a contest between John and Tommy. Here we go.

I'm going to offer clues. And when you think you have it, you guess. Okay. If you're wrong, there's no buzzer. Just shout it out. Okay. But if you get it wrong, you lose a point. Oh, oh, interesting.

This is high stakes. Someone keeping score? They're keeping score. Cool. Cool. We always keep score with Quick Media. Question number one. Let us begin.

Used to be in the Navy. Sean Spicer. Is there no dings? What's happening? Son of a There we go Very good Tommy got it on the first Very good

I just want to let you know That that ended with His Instagram recently He thought Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol Was a book of fucking Christmas carols. Sad.

I mean, I don't even think you'd have to read the book if you've not seen Scrooged. Turn on your TBS for a month and learn about A Christmas Carol via the oddly underrated film Scrooged, which updates the story. Visited by three ghosts. Learns to care about money less.

Next one. Once worked for the NAACP. Omarosa. Ooh, tough hit for you, too. You think about that one. I lost a point. You're down. Tommy is up by two.

Negative one. Met his wife at church. Was kicked out of a motorcade. Shortest tenure in his position in White House history. Mike Flynn? The Mooch. His name sounds like some sort of a dipping sauce. The Mooch?

He's a Kenosha operative. Oh, Brace Priebus! Fuck. That was tough. Honestly, we worked out these clues in the office and we thought, let's not make it too easy. They'll surely get it by the end. That was a hard one. You should just feel really good about the confidence

Elisa and Mukta and I had in you guys. Thank you guys. He has written three books. He wanted his middle name to be Shitster, but then realized his initials would be Ass. Doesn't understand what off the record means.

Anthony Scaramucci. Nailed it. You got it. Is funded by billionaire benefactors. Steve Bannon. Steve Bannon. Fuck that guy. Also likes to layer shirts. We're leaving it in.

He's an asshole. Layers a lot of shirts, that guy. Drives a Mustang. Seb Gorka. Nice. Oopsie doopsie. Art of war license plate. Can I get extra credit?

The final clue was, is rumored to say Oopsy Doopsy. It's on the tip of my tongue. Next. This person said Trump was racial but not racist. Omarosa John? You've won. Started the chant, lock her up. Mike Flynn.

That's a tie. I'm giving it to both of you. Taught Sunday school. Mike Pence. Still there. Was formerly a registered Republican. Lost the confidence of almost everyone in Washington. Had a secret account on Twitter.

James Comey. Should we do one more, guys? This is it. This is it. This is for everything. This person is a parent. Cool. This person was the lead prosecutor against the Olympic bomber.

Sally Yates. The final clue was going to be is a fucking badass. Guys, please thank John Favreau and Tommy Vitor for playing. Tommy has won the game. Thank you. Don't let the door hit you.

Do you guys have any final comments before you leave the stage? No, cool game. John and Tommy, everybody. When we come back, our panel. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back.

Please allow me to welcome our awesome panel. She's a former senior writer at Jezebel and is currently writing on the upcoming blackish spinoff, Grown-ish. Please welcome Cara Brown. Hi. How are you? I am tired.

It's been a long-ass year. It has felt long. It's been incredibly long. You know, a year feels longer when you're watching it. Yeah, it does. long. You know, a year feels longer when you're watching it, you know? Yeah. Isn't that weird? It does, yeah. She's a cybersecurity expert and co-founder

of Support.fm, a crowdfunding tool to support trans and gender non-conforming people in jail, prison, and detention. Please welcome Alice Barker. Hey. How are you? I'm good. I have this martini. Nice.

He's a comedian and actor currently starring in NBC's Superstore. Please welcome Colton Dunn. What up? Yeah. Yes. Let's get into it What a week I don't know if you guys were paying attention But a Democrat won a United States Senate seat

In a place called Alabama I think that Donald Trump captured the mood with his tweets when he said, congratulations to Doug Jones on a hard-fought victory, etc. The people of Alabama are great, and the Republicans will have another shot at this seat in a very short period of time. It never ends. I loved it never ends. I loved it never ends. Like, like, like, that the Donald Trump Twitter voice is one that's sort of a kind of a calm in the storm that says this too shall

pass. Like, like it's a real Buddhist vibe with him. And then of course, he couldn't help but add the reason I originally endorsed Luther, Luther Strange, and his numbers went up mightily is that I said Roy Moore will not be able to win the general election. I was right. Roy worked hard, but the deck was stacked against him. So Donald Trump, who endorsed not one, but two candidates who both lost in the same race, came to the conclusion that he was right. Which is pretty on brand for him. Just one little note of color.

At the Moore election night party, the mood darkened, and a saxophonist played a slow rendition of Amazing Grace. And just from my family to Roy Moore's Jewish lawyer's family, happy Hanukkah. So that was pretty exciting

that was necessary I feel like going into 2018 with that loss would have just been real rough rougher than it already is yeah

I mean I think I feel like we hadn't fully come to we couldn't really deal with just how shitty it was going to feel if a racist misogynist alleged pedophile uh was seated in the united states senate and he also dressed like a cowboy and didn't know how to ride a horse that was another big problem with that guy

any and um do you remember the movie Pink Cadillac with Clint Eastwood? And, oh, come on. Is there not one? Where are my gay people? The fuck? Bernadette Peters. Thank you. Where there's a moment where she kind of holds up a little gun.

That's what Roy Moore looked like when he had his gun on stage. I love his little gun his little gun was awesome I mean Alice how did you feel watching the returns come in it's been a real whirlwind I mean I know that's like a pretty crap

opener but you know I just I feel like the news really had me down for a long time so I just sort of ignored it. And it got worse and worse. Steadily. And I'm depressed. Here we are.

Bringing the mood down a bit. So black voters made up 29% of the electorate in the special election. I was there. I was there. They bussed me in to help out. How many times did you vote? I voted like 12 times as myself.

And then I used my grandpa's ID. I voted 12 more times. Kara, how many votes did you put in there? Well, Beyonce voted in the election 18 times, but I didn't make it down. Well, she's technically a citizen 18 times over. It's this weird thing where she gets to do that.

Because she's rich. She has nothing to do with anything else. She just has a cool super pack. So there's been this narrative that you've seen these people on. There's been this sort of strange thing on Twitter that's like a lot of people tweeting, thank you, black women. And it makes me uncomfortable because it feels oddly, I don't know why it bothers me. I think it partly because it feels so performative.

Right, right. Well, also, let me say, black women did not do this, black people in general. It's not to help white people. We just know that if it's bad for white people, we are super fucked. So like, it was not like a benevolent, like, oh, let's just help them out.

It's like, oh shit. Like, goddamn, we gotta do something. Right, it wasn't like it wasn't like doug jones put up a black woman's signal in the sky and 98 of black women in alabama were like it's our time to shine yeah my first reaction was fuck white people you know but i mean i'm the white person on the panel not Not keeping it together, guys. Yeah, it's it's funny. Or keeping it together.

Or keeping it together. Not in a great way. It's true. Someone made this point, which is that if 65 percent of black voters had voted with the misogynist accused pedophile, there'd be weeks and weeks of recrimination. There's this strange thing where the expectations of Republican voters are so low that we just take it for granted. And actually, it connects something that John and Dan

were talking about on Pod Save America, which is that everyone knows that Mitch McConnell is going to be cynical and not see Doug Jones before the tax vote, and that's just accepted as the standard course of business. But if the Democrats were to do the same thing, there'd be outrage. And it's this odd other side of the coin to what conservatives, I think, point out as liberal bias, that if it's true that there's a kind of cosmopolitan left-leaning bias amongst the kind of people that become journalists, it's also true that they hold Democrats

to the standards of their family they expect better of us because they consider us to be them to be one of us and it's you know that the fact that it is you know i guess it is worth remembering that what we're celebrating is the fact that a misogynist uh racist who wanted wouldn't have minded slavery rolling back in. Who thought amendments 11 and up were just sort of you know take them or leave them. It was like the extra guac at Chipotle. Like you know it's like

$1.85 do I need it? I could just have sour cream and that provides the same kind of thing you know. A creaminess. You know it's like what were we talking about? Oh, Roy Moore being insane. But the fact that just, it is still true that a huge number of people went to the polls

and almost made this guy a senator, and it's worth remembering that. Yeah. And like, too, the point you started before we got to Chipotle. Sure. Last year, black people were getting shit because they were like, well, you guys didn't come out the way you came out for Barack Obama,

which, no shit. But then... But... But it's like, that was a narrative as opposed to the many, many, many, many, many more white people who didn't vote or voted for Donald Trump.

And it's like, why is this? We've done enough, have we not? Oh, you don't get it yet? Oh, no, it does not matter. More? Doesn't matter how many back advances there are. It does not matter. It is going to be our fault. it is like it is a little bit like

uh there's like a a kid with a sparkler running around a house and tinders are going everywhere and bits of the couch are catching on fire and there's a group of black people behind them pouring water on all the things and sometimes they get the fire out and we're like, phew, thank you, black people. And then once in a while, the house burns to the ground and we're like, where were our black people? And no one's ever like,

get that sparkler out of that kid's fucking hand. That is part of his pursuit of happiness. It's his Second Amendment right to have a sparkler. What if the government shows up with sparklers? He's got to have a sparkler.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a sparkler is a good guy with a sparkler. That's right. We want a Senate seat in Alabama. That's so cool. So Doug Jones was on Pod Save America yesterday because we get all the guests now. Maybe Joe Biden will return an email.

See him around. Leave it in! But so Doug Jones said he's not going to be pushing to be seated for the tax bill. There's also been, I think, some hemming and hawing on the part of Democratic leaders as to whether or not to draw a line in the sand on funding for DACA and CHIP. I mean, don't you think that Doug Jones winning this Senate seat should be reason enough for Democrats like Schumer and Pelosi to just fight like hell and sort of draw a line in the sand? What do you think? Do they know how to do that?

They've done it before. There's like muscle memory. They'll remember. Like a bite situation? I'm in an analogy place today, but do you remember when Ed Harris has to go deep into the

deep, deep water in the abyss and they realize the only way for him to do it is he has to inhale liquid and breathe liquid. When you're in the womb. Exactly, exactly. Because otherwise, I don't know, magic science, it won't work.

And they tell him, your body will remember. I saw Nancy Pelosi get into a gondola one time was it I'm sorry I just I want to hear more about this but before we move forward are we talking Venice are we talking Aspen uh we're talking Tahoe okay but it was very careful and I think I think that's how I feel about her. I feel like she's very careful. And, like, too careful. Like, I don't trust her intentions completely.

But I, you know, appreciate. You want her to basically throw those skis in the gondola, run full speed, dive in, and say, get this fucker to the top of Mount Tahoe. That's exactly what I want. Yeah. Have you seen Schumersky? I haven't.

Not yet. So not a lot yet to learn on that front. I think it's hard for them to play hardball like that. You know, like you said, like, do they know how to do it? The Republicans will do crazy shit, you know. They'll hold up, you know up appointing a Supreme Court judge. But the thing is that they never own up to it.

They just kind of were like, no, we didn't do that. Democrats can't do that. They're always like, well, we did it. We're sorry. That's a good thing, but in this game, it's a bad thing. In this game, you've got to just pretend you didn't even fuck up. That's why you have people like, you know, Frankie and the other guys like, all right, well, we'll quit.

We quit. Everybody pushes them out. You guys got to go. We quit. And Roy Moore is like, they're liars. This is my horse. And people are like, I'm voting for him. But that is true.

But that is true. There is like a compunction that we can't seem to shake. When Scott Brown won the Kennedy seat in Massachusetts and we lost our 60th vote for Obamacare in the Senate, there was a period of time where Democrats could have brought that bill to the floor and said, we don't care, We're passing it anyway. And actually, Democrats said no. Jim Webb said he wouldn't support it. They had to wait until Scott Brown was seated. And of course, people like Mitch McConnell and many others said this is the right thing to do. The people have spoken. And there's not even there's not even a suggestion that Mitch McConnell will uphold the same standard. Like to say that would be like to be laughed at. Like if you were in a group of like D.C. reporters this week and you said they're all talking about it. You know, they talk like they do. I'll do the polls up and down. It's a bit unfair.

Polls up and down. Narrative. Pivot, pivot, pivot. Eat, eat, eat. Sad, sad, sad. Is this my life? Pivot. I'm sorry.

It's so stupid. Anyway, if you were to be sitting at that table and be like, you know, I think Mitch McConnell probably ought to be held to the same standard he held before. And, you know, my hope is his fellow Republicans will say there are things more important than winning votes that...

And they wouldn't even be able to, they would just be at the Union Station in D.C. by the Capitol, eating at the food court Taco Bell, saying pivot, pivot, pivot, joke, joke, joke. I'm sorry. Fell off the rails. The point is, nothing's gonna change.

Mitch McConnell's gonna do what's good for Mitch McConnell. It's like this scene in the movie Avatar. I feel like, it's like, this is a street fight. Like, if there was ever a time, like, this is it. This is probably hopeful, like, this is your moment. This is when you need to just, like, get dirty. Like, my God, do you want to wait for it to get worse?

Is that what you want? Are we waiting for it to get shittier? And then you're going to be like, okay, well, now we're gonna like fight now we're gonna play dirty it's like just do it just do it and also by the way like it's not totally agree with that but it's also democrats are engaged we're excited we just won some races and we were proud to have won them we feel like we have a chance to kind of take the country back we want to know not know not just that you're being strategic in terms of whatever the polling is telling you, but that you want to fight for what we want you to fight for. And one way to do that is saying we will not support funding the government unless you do what's right for the DACA kids,

unless you fund the Children's Health Insurance Program, unless you keep your promises. And I don't know what the polling is going to tell them on that i don't know what the what the ups and downs technically of whether or not we'll win a shutdown fight but i know it sends a message to the millions of people who have been knocking on doors and who care that say like these people are giving me a reason to fight and giving me something to support and like that matters ultimately just as much as whatever one poll says about whether or not it was worth it to shut the government down over immigration. So, look. They shut down the government, and they became president.

You know, like, look at, you know, when people dig in deep, they inspire the people who follow them. And I think they would inspire a lot of people by doing that. Yeah, I think that's right. And one last note on this. Speaking of people who shut down the government, if you remember Ted Cruz, I don't understand

why people don't like him. I think he's terrific. I like his policies. I love his energy. I love the way he talks. I love his sincerity. I love how he carries himself. I think he gets a bad rap.

I think he looks you in the eyes and he tells you what he thinks. You know where you stand with Ted Cruz. He's in this for all the right reasons. But Ted Cruz, who is insanely unpopular, the fact that we could win in Alabama I think means that we should be taking very seriously the possibility that we can win in Texas, too.

So I think that is really exciting. Alice, any snowboarding with Ted Cruz that you can... No, but I definitely saw him on Grindr. I'm almost positive. He was versed. He was versed. I think it might have been someone that just looks really handsome like Ted Cruz.

Might have just been a Ted Cruz lookalike. When we come back, OK Stop! Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Now for a segment called OK Stop, but I want to do something different this week. Please welcome everybody.

Please welcome Ira Madison III to the stage. So we wanted to have Ira on because Ira has just launched a new show with Crooked Media called Keep It. You can subscribe right now. Ira, can you tell us a little bit about your program? It's Crooked Media's first

pop culture show. And, you know, to use a John analogy, Hollywood has become a bit like the First Order this year. And I am a rebel just trying to take them down. You like movie analogies, right? Ira, I love them. So we wanted to have Ira on the show.

On your show, you're going to have a segment called This Week in Black Republicans. Yes. So for today's OK Stop, we're going to be watching a clip of former Apprentice contestant Amorosa. She was on Good Morning America. You know how OK Stop works. We're going to watch a clip, and when we feel like it, we'll pause and comment along the way. So know how OK Stop works. We're going to watch a clip.

And when we feel like it, we'll pause and comment along the way. So let's roll the clip. So you resigned. You weren't fired as it's being recorded. And you know, I like to hear all of these interesting tales, but I have to stop. OK, stop. Already, she is swinging for the fences. She is lying.

Not even ten seconds in. Interesting tales. We know she was fired. The Secret Service tweeted that they terminated her card. She cannot get into the building. You know, I once left the White House, and I too was dragged from the building for kicking and screaming,

but I had the decency to lay low after. They're 100% false. One of the things that I'd ask of those people who are making those assertions, since they assert that I did it so publicly, is where are the people... Okay, stop. Michael Strahan?

What? What is... I mean... I'm glad you brought this up. Because, look, I... Let me tell you when I found out about the existence of someone named Michael Strahan. I found out when Kelly Ripa said, please welcome Michael Strahan.

And I thought, who is this? And why is he here? And now, I'll be honest, he has the build of someone from sport. Yes. And he wasn't very good on TV. And so I thought, oh, he's famous from sports and they're hoping he'll get better.

Right. Did that happen? I mean, I don't know. I don't watch things. I just want to say that I remember when Kelly Ripa was like really pressed that he left her show to join Good Morning America. Omarosa interview, cackling, drinking a mimosa, maybe even doing some black tar heroin. I don't know.

It's just a real celebration. This is, when Good Morning America was like, we have the Omarosa exclusive, who knew that the person who got the exclusive was Michael fucking Strayer? But in retrospect, who the hell else was going to do this? You know she DM'd him too, being like, you know what? This corny fool will definitely be the only person who will let me come on TV and lie the next morning.

Omarosa is circling Michael Strahan like this is the part of a Disney movie where Michael Strahan is being convinced to do something he should not do and she's like he's Pinocchio was I kicked out? let me tell you something

she's Ursula you were unhappy with Trump's handling of Charlottesville Let me tell you something. She's Ursula. Let's keep going. Those are videos. Total Washington Post. You were unhappy with Trump's handling of Charlottesville and also his endorsement of Roy Moore. Is that true? You know, because I am serving until the 20th, I have to be very careful about how I answer. Okay, stop. You're fired!

Bitch, what is happening on the 20th? Bitch, what is happening on the 20th? Who else is doing exclusives about exits and being like, until I'm serving on the 20th, okay? Like, you are gone. Also, the idea that she would be stressed out about Charlottesville. Was he not racist before? Were you not stressed out when he wouldn't let black people live in his buildings? Also, is

Nazism like a time release capsule? Like, did you saw Charlottesville and then it just stayed in your system and then all of a sudden it hit you? Like, Charlottesville was a while ago. It was super wrong that day there were a lot of things that i observed during the last year that i was very unhappy with

that i was very uncomfortable with things that i observed that i heard that i listened to i can expand upon it because i have to still go back and work with these individuals. Okay, stop! No, no, no! You do not! You're fired! Unless this is an actual reality show and she means, like, she's about to go be sequestered with Priebus. She still has the reunion show. Unless the jury has to come back and vote in January, she has nothing to do. I have a chance to tell my story, Michael.

Quite a story to tell. As the only African-American woman in this White House. Okay, stop. That's a fucking sign. For a reason. Nothing to be proud of. As an assistant to the president, I have seen things that have made me uncomfortable,

that have upset me, that have affected me deeply and emotionally, that has affected my community and my people. Okay, stop. No. Not her people, not her community. Whose people? What people? What people?

A profound story that I know the world will want to hear. not her community. Whose people? What people? What people? They have a story that I know the world will want to hear. She said she has a story to tell and I'm sure she'll be selling that story. We'll see. Oh!

Oh! Robin Roberts! John. I'm sure she'll be selling that story. John. I just... we celebrate Robin Roberts but I just wanna

I know we all saw that interview but I just want people to know exactly how she was fired if you don't know because I think it's the best firing in the Trump administration. It tops previous getting fired on a plane, finding out via Twitter. She got into a fight with Kelly, and he told her, you know what? You're fired.

And Trump agrees. And she decided, I'm going to get my job back. Because as you know, if you watched her on The Apprentice, every time she got fired, she would march back into Trump's office and demand her job back. She thought it would work. She asked Ivanka to help her, apparently. And Ivanka said, just chill, you know? Like, I'll talk to my dad. But she tried to break into the executive residence.

And the alarms went off. And she was taken by security and escorted off the campus. For the second time. For the second time. The second time. Because she... When she rolled up in her wedding attire and tried to take photos in the Rose Garden,

and they were like, bitch, what are you doing? And she was escorted out, her and her bridesmaids, the groomsmen, the flower girl. All also escorted out of the White House again. I really like amarosa um there's something i i she's so good at tv like she's so good at that like this is going to be used in a documentary

where i'm narrating my life and my experience and she speaks in these perfect cuttable sound bites that got stuck to get used in something it's always like I have my story to tell and I'm gonna tell that story and she has this incredible conviction like remember when she was in that um documentary about how Trump won and she said that thing of like he'll be the most powerful man in the universe and people will bow down before Trump. And she has this like, she has charisma. She's evil.

Okay, but. She's been around, like the fact that we're still, it's remarkable that she's still around. But also remember when she had her own TV show. No, when she went on Bethany Franklin's TV show. Bethany is also someone who's probably laughing at her right now because I recall her getting into a fight with Bethany on her TV show and telling Bethany,

Sweetie, I used to work in the White House and you made cupcakes. She's been escorted from the White House now. Oh, God, to see that. You know what sucks? We'll never see it, but there is tons of video. Yeah. Where is that footage? Look.

John, don't say that. Knowing this administration, we will probably see it. I hope so. Look. She may sue them, and they'll be like, you know what? Here's the footage on Twitter. Here's the thing. We all, look, we say our evening prayers, we pray for the pee tape. But I think we should...

But I think it's time we set our sights a little lower. Because, frankly, I don't know if we're ever going to see the p-tape this is not a world in which we get our p-tape um that's a movie this is real life I have it you have it Alice has it Alice has the p-tape she won't release it baga but the uh but we can get the video of Omarosa being dragged, kicking and screaming from the portico of the White House. So to the gods of the videotape sneak and leaking process, let us see it. That's it.

And then when Alice gets around to it, she can release the pee tape too. I'm surprised there haven't been more leak puns. No, pee tape leaking, the leaking of the leak tape. These are great options and it's something to work on. Guys, give it up for Ira Madison. Subscribe to keep it. Thank you. Omarosa, if you're listening, I want you to be my first guest, girl.

Come through. She could do it. She's free after the 20th. I heard. When we come back, the Cuck Zone. Thank you, Ira. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Now for a segment called The Cuck Zone. Here's how it works. We invite our token Republican, Tim Miller, to the stage to give us one rant. So guys, give it up for Tim Miller. Hey, everybody. Crooked contributor.

Merry Christmas. And as the token Republican, I want to let you know I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas. Not because I'm wishing you good tidings. I'm not. I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas in the way Jesus intended it. As a fuck you to the liberals. So Merry fucking Christmas to you all. My rant tonight is not about the liberals.

It's Christmas time. I'm going to be nice to you all. I'm going to be nice to you guys. So my rant is about the privately concerned Republicans. I had to spend last week in D.C., unfortunately. And let me tell you, the privately concerned Republicans are legion. You could fill an entire cavernous stadium with khaki-clad, privately concerned Republicans. And I was there on Monday, and as many of you know,

I supported Doug Jones as the first Democrat I've supported. And I was there on Monday and Tuesday, and there were some whispers, like, I'm with you. And then there were some people that were like, ooh, man, you really are far out there on that one. And then on Wednesday morning the privately concerned came out in force they were thrilled that Doug Jones won I was congratulated at the various Republican

Bobby Vance the Republican bar of choice that just makes me sick isn't it sad I was congratulated somebody said I was lucky I thought that was weird he's like you're really lucky you got that one man I was likeulated. Somebody said I was lucky. I thought that was weird. He's like, you're really lucky you got that one, man.

I was like, I guess so. A journalist told me he was at lunch with RNC staffers who high-fived. I was like, fuck you. Ron Johnson was in the Senate. He said, thank God we don't have a child molester in the Senate the next day. Where were you on Tuesday? Or Monday? Or Sunday? Or Saturday? You don't get any child molester in the Senate the next day. Where were you on Tuesday? Or Monday? Or Sunday?

Or Saturday? You don't get any credit for this on Wednesday. For being against Roy. And it was Roy Moore. And this wasn't a close call. So that's the last rant of the Cuck Zone for the year. But I'm not going to leave without teasing the hosts. The pod bros.

So here's the thing. I don't know if you all know. They're going to Europe in January. And even though I'm a globalist cuck, I wasn't invited to Europe. So, I mean, there might be some votes in Amsterdam that are important. I mean, it's a little nicer this time of year than Akron, I guess. And so, not that I'm bitter or anything. No shirtless beer pong in Oslo for me.

I guess I'll just be you and Tommy and Sean. And so good luck with that. Thank you all. We'll see you in February for the next CuckSell. Thank you, Tim. Guys, give it up for Tim Miller. It is true, Tim. We are doing a little pod towards America for a week,

and we won't apologize for it because we're going to go to London, we're going to go to Stockholm, we're going to go to Amsterdam, we're going to go to Oslo. There's going to be a lot of expats, a lot of Americans who vote abroad. And even if they're not, I don't care. It's gonna be a super fun trip. Also, but I also just want to say in the spirit of the season that Tim Miller is somebody who has put himself out there in a huge way to be anti-Trump. And for all the ways in which this year has been difficult,

and by the way, I disagree with Tim on just about everything. His political views are despicable. But the one thing Trump does is he shows you who people are. And he revealed people like Reince Priebus and Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell he shows you what they're really made of but he's also shown us what the people who fought back are really made of and Tim risked his career risked his livelihood and it speaks really highly of him uh so we're grateful to have Tim as part of our network. When we come back, a new game.

And we're back. Now for a game we call, there was just like so much going on. This is our last show of 2017, so we're going to do a recap to see just how much you in the audience remember. And this is going to be a first. We're going to have two members of the audience

face off against one another. And so we're going to call on two people to play the game. So you'll both be playing. And what is your name? Kelly. Kelly. Kelly.

And you are wearing a lovely shirt. I am. And what is your name? I'm Annie. Annie. And you are not wearing merch. It's a Planned Parenthood shirt, but it's not merch. Okay.

Let's just play this game. We'll go back and forth we'll each ask you both questions and we'll see who wins the person in merch or the person who's not in merch kelly annie kelly and conway oh my god oh my gosh easy to remember it's tough to forget here we go terrible kelly the question number one is for you. Okay. After Trump's first day in office, women came together to march against his election. What was that march of women called?

The Women's March. Question number two. I was there. For Annie, who has no merch on. In Trump's first full month in office, Sean Spicer banned four outlets from a press briefing. Name them. Too slow. They were the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Politico, and CNN.

Kelly is up by one. Question number two. Kelly, on March 4th, Donald Trump accused which black president of wiretapping his phones? Barack Obama. You've won. Annie. Later that spring, special counsel Robert Mueller was appointed to investigate an actual scandal.

What sport did he play in college? Lacrosse. Yes! Holy shit. Nice. Oh, my God. That was fantastic. Next question to Kelly.

On April 19th, which Fox employee was fired for sexual harassment? His name rhymes with Phil O'Reilly. Bill O'Reilly. Nailed it. A few months later, Secretary DeVos overturned rules that helped investigate sexual assault on campus.

How much will her family make from eliminating the estate tax? A lot. Two billion? A lot. This says 351 million. I thought it was two billion. But I thought it was two billion, too. I'm giving it to you, but also you lost.

Next question. This is for Kelly. On June 1st, which U.S. president caused a global controversy by pulling out of the Paris Climate Agreement making America the only country that does not belong? The man with the orange hair. I need a name.

Donald Trump. Nailed it. Next, on September 20th, the powerful hurricane hit Puerto Rico and caused the loss of how many hours worth of electricity?

A lot. It was 1.25 billion hours. Next, you're doing fucking terribly, Anna. It's really appalling billion hours. Next. You're doing fucking terribly, Annie. It's really appalling. Don't sit on the stage. Get back up. Next question for Kelly.

On November 9th, Ralph Northam, a Democrat from Virginia, won the race for governor in which state? Oh, Virginia. I'm from Virginia. Technically a commonwealth, so that's a mistake on our part. Next. Annie, a month later on December 12th, Doug Jones flipped how many Alabama counties to secure his election victory? La Crosse. 12.

It was 12. Kelly. True or false, Taylor Swift released a new album entitled Reputation. True. Annie. True or false, Taylor Swift is a terrible musician. Debatable, because she needs to stand up, and she needs to come out and vote, and all the Katy Perry and Beyonce and everybody's like...

Incorrect. The correct answer is, you can deal with the controversy, your answer sparks. She makes money off of feminism. Final question. Yep. Kelly, Crooked Media launched several podcasts this year. Which one did you come to see tonight? Love It or Leave It.

And I listened to Majority 54 on the way. Cool. Annie, your final question. Which Crooked Media host is your favorite? Don't answer it. Don't answer it. Huge mistake to answer it. Any answer would be a loss.

My mom went to Williams, so I'm going to have to say you, John. Oh, my god. Guys, from behind, Annie wins the game. Give it up for Kelly in merch and Annie, who is not in merch. Thank you both for playing.

There just was so much going on. You both won the parachute gift cards. When we come back, the rant wheel. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. That was a really fun game.

That was good. A little biased. I don't know what you're talking about. Now for a segment called the rant wheel. Here's how it works. We spin the wheel. It lands on topics. Where it lands, we rant about the topic at hand.

This week on the wheel, we have Donald Trump's tweet about Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. We have Bitcoin. We have holiday travel. We have Paul Ryan. we have the year 2017, we have the short story cat person, we have Trump ruining Diet Coke, a suggestion that came from Twitter, and audience suggestion, let's spin the wheel. it has landed on holiday travel something suggested by multiple members of our panel alice i want to start with you because you talked about your experience going through tsa security oh yeah wild fun for a trans person in particular so they have two genders on the machine

that scans you male and female and so when they scan my body and they go through like sometimes so you know if i'm lucky i'll get the female scan so they get scan me and then there's this like big screen up on the left and it has a you know an image of of a body and then this huge heat map right here of a penis shaped bomb that I'm hiding apparently and so then the the TSA agents come up to me and they say what's what's there and I say it's my. And then they have a dilemma because they have to choose which gender of person to pat me down and touch my penis, which is really fun. So I'm standing there kind of like relishing

in the pain of their faces, like deciding which person is like going to touch me there. And, you know, the man is just like just like oh god and then the woman is like okay like oh yes like all right and so um so that moment happens and you know there's like some light groping and then just like a you know okay okay go ahead keep going keep moving you know, okay, okay, okay, go ahead, keep going, keep moving, you know, and so that, I mean, I just think there's a lot that we have to deal with in terms of technology and gender, and this is my pulpit moment, so, you know, I think that would be great if we could avoid that in the future.

And Colton, I understand that you have some travel tips for us actually my travel tip is stop with the tips I'm about to go to Hawaii and if you've been to Hawaii please don't give me any more tips of what to do when I go to Hawaii everybody who I've met

who has already been to Hawaii stops me and goes through an entire list of things to do in Hawaii one guy literally went hey man here's what you need to do first I'm gonna give you some tips but what you need to do tomorrow tonight go buy this one book that has all you can do in Hawaii bring it to me and I'll go through the book with you and circle things. One. Just give one idea. Go snorkeling. Have a good trip. That's it. That's all you need to say. It's funny too

about Hawaii specifically because it's like, I feel like you're getting the same wrecks a few times in a row. Oh yeah. Everybody's like, try the spam food. Let's spin it again. Fuck, Paul Ryan.

It has landed on Paul Ryan. Honestly, this afternoon we were saying, what should we put on the ramble? And I said, you know what? Throw Paul Ryan on there. Because the dude sucks. That was so elegant. Dude sucks.

You know, one Dan Pfeiffer pointed this out yesterday. And I think it's worth remembering that Paul Ryan owes as much blame for the state of our politics as Steve Bannon and Donald Trump and Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer. and the fact the fact that he made a choice to basically treat donald trump as like weekend at bernie's a hand he could use to sign bills is never stopped being a choice that he made and the fact that he made it a year ago doesn't make it less of a choice today and when donald trump tweets that senator kirsten gillibrand is a whore, and Paul Ryan jokes at the Al Smith dinner like, oh, I'm going to pretend not to have seen another tweet, we should never forget that the entire apparatus of the Republican Party has allowed for this kind of shit to happen without consequence, and no one paid a bigger role in making that happen

than Paul Ryan. There was no reason that there was no reason that we would all assume every day that Donald Trump would be a racist monster, unsuited for the job, and there'd be no consequences. There was no reason, but Paul Ryan made that happen, and he makes it happen every single day, and as we close out the year, I didn't wanna lose sight of that. Right.

Let's spin it again. Oh, yeah. It has landed on Bitcoin. Yeah. You know, my friend Spencer, Spencer in the house. Yeah, there he is. He called me and he said, I signed up for an account and I bought $750 of Bitcoin and it was worth $600 yesterday, but it's worth $1,100 today. And I may buy this other cryptocurrency. And then I think I might do this. And I said to Spencer, okay, I will put all my money in Bitcoin with you. You have to answer me one question. What's a Bitcoin? I can answer that question. Alice. Actually.

What is a Bitcoin? Well. You have to do it fast because they'll fall asleep. Okay. Because it's, you know, computers. How about this? I'll be a hype man while you explain this. Okay, okay, okay.

That's exactly what we need. Cool. Internet money. Bang! Money, y'all! That was sick. Okay, so I'm not going to lie to you. I am disappointed.

I thought there would be a little bit more detail. I don't know what the word crypto is doing at the front. That's just a bunch of nonsense they put in front of it. That's craziness, too. And wait, let me ask you this. This is so fun. What's a blockchain? That's the album yeah anyway i don't know what a bitcoin really is i'm not fully understanding what a cryptocurrency is

i don't know how you use it and i don't know where you get the money out of the machine and i saw in an article that bitcoins are using the same amount of electricity as Delaware. And it's like, wait, do we all work for Bitcoin now? I either think it's a scam or that I should buy them all. And I hate this feeling.

It's too late already. Do you have Bitcoins? Oh, yeah. So much. That's right son all right let's spin it again oh my god this is so good Okay. Guys, it has landed on 2017. So I want to talk about the year 2017. I would say, without a doubt, 2017 was awesome. was awesome.

And I know you think that's a joke because Trump won and plunged our country into a crisis. And it's true that this year has been awful in many ways and I am not one of those people that says we will survive or the country will get through this because not everybody does get through it. That's a point of privilege. I'm not a trans person in the military. I'm not a DACA recipient who may get deported. I'm not a Muslim person who's afraid

of being persecuted. I'm going to survive, but we won't necessarily survive. Oh, and also, by the way, they sold a Supreme Court seat, which we'll never get back and he'll just be on there for a generation. So it's been like a really shitty year. But here's what also happened. We swore in our worst person as president and then millions and millions of people showed up to protest the next day. The largest protest in American history.

Apple released an iPhone that unlocks with your face. Groups like Indivisible and Swing Left formed. You showed up at airports and congressional offices. Get Out was an awesome movie. There was an awesome eclipse. People started paying attention like never before.

Like we knitted together in the face of an emergency. Taylor's album had a couple solid songs on it. And if we should recognize that, Despacito. Great. Very catchy despacito. Great. Very catchy despacito. And there is value and hope in seeing our worst fears in the wide open. The grim, real, undeniable thing that happened.

Look what we did to ourselves. Look how broken we were. Look at the race and resentment and fear and mistrust that we weren't dealing with. And look how far we could fall and how much work we had to do. This year started one of the darkest days in all of our lives that we could possibly remember. It closes with victories in Virginia. A trans woman beat a bigot on a campaign with traffic. Her issue was fucking traffic. We want an historic upset in Alabama. We can win again.

2017 was incredible. We can win the House. We can win the Senate. So when someone says to you that 2017 was awful, you tell them to go fuck yourselves. You say 2017 was awesome, and 2018 can be even better because we can take our country back.

And that is all I wanted to say about that. I wanna thank our incredible panel, Cara Brown, Alice Barker, Colton Dunn, Ira Madison, Tim Miller, and John and Tommy. I want to thank you guys for listening this year. I want to thank you for coming out. We're out of time. What a show.

Have a great night. It's Rub It or Leave It. Straight Shooter. Rub It or Leave It. It's Rub It or Leave It. It's very odd on sides.