Lovett or Leave It - Rude and Delicious: Live from Philadelphia!

Episode Date: August 19, 2023

Lovett Or Leave It arrives in the city of Brotherly Love, and don’t worry, we brought plenty for everyone. Delaware state senator Sarah McBride helps the Diamond State shine. An over-worked conspiracy theorist (Kylie Brakeman) begs for a return to normalcy. R. Eric Thomas helps mend our audience’s broken hearts. Mary Radzinski and Lovett share their hottest Philly cheese takes, and the Rant Wheel runs down the things we hate about the city that loves you back. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

Hello, Philadelphia. Philadelphia. It is great to be back at the Fillmore with all of you. A city that dared to ask the question, what's the opposite of southern hospitality? And I love it. In my relationships, in my politics, in my cities, in my politics, in my cities, in my food.

My personality is, I don't care how you treat me if the sandwich is good. I didn't realize that until I was standing here at this very moment. Thank you all for being out here tonight. It's great to be here. I'm just skipping it, Brian. All right, I'm going to do the joke. It's great to be here in New York's little bro, the city of brotherly love. Throw a step before the brotherly and you have a little glimpse into my search history.

Thanks, Brian. It's his gross joke we have a great show for you tonight Delaware State Senator Sarah McBride will try to convince me to come to Delaware we have a union member, but the union is for conspiracists

because they've been working overtime lately. Author Eric Thomas wants to hear your breakup stories. So if you need to get something off your chest or ask if you should text your ex, get ready. Mary Radinsky is here, and she's going to break bread with me, but that bread will also have cheese and steak.

And we've got a Philly-centric rant wheel for you. Plus, live high notes. So start noodling on your good news. But first, let's get into it. What a week. It's fine. The White House has formally announced that the president will not pardon Hunter Biden

after he pleaded guilty to gun and tax-related charges. Biden, however, did announce that until his behavioral issues subsides, Hunter will be sent to live with relatives on a farm in Delaware. Recent polls show Senator Tim Scott gaining ground in the Republican primary, narrowing the gap with a Zune that asked to be a real boy named Ron DeSantis.

Good things come to those who wait, remarks Scott, while blocking another loose woman on a hinge who suggested holding hands. The DOJ charged future ankle monitor disliker Donald Trump with new counts of mishandling classified documents. Mar-a-Lago's head of maintenance, Carlos de Oliveira, and Trump aide Walt Nauta also received new charges, and according to the filing, can be seen on security camera footage

moving boxes of classified documents around. I imagine it's hard to run a shadowy operation when you exclusively hire guys who were kicked out of the Three Stooges for being too all over the place. Justice Samuel Alito told the Wall Street Journal that Congress should not be policing the Supreme Court. Here's what he said. I know this is a controversial view, but I'm willing to say it.

No provision of the Constitution gives them the authority to regulate the Supreme Court, period. Guy's obsessed with periods. Only I am brave enough to tell it like it is. Nothing in the employee manual stops me from pissing in the office's ice machine. During a Senate Appropriations Committee hearing last week, California Senator Dianne Feinstein appears to be confused and read from prepared remarks while others

tried to interject and ask her to just vote aye. Replied Senator Feinstein indignantly, I didn't come all the way to Germany not to give these Hollenzollerns a piece of my mind. Don't applaud that. Members of the House of Representatives began their August recess this week, despite not resolving a major spending disagreement between the two parties that could force a government shutdown. Oh, like you got a ton of stuff done the last week of July. The last week of July is about giving up, going to the beach, and disappointing the people who depend on you.

I, for one, feel well represented. Republican lawmaker Derek Van Orden is under fire after teenage Senate pages accused him of berating and swearing at them, calling them jackasses and pieces of shit. Van Orden reportedly felt the teens were disrespecting the space of the Capitol Rotunda. This is going to be an unpopular take, but I stand with Representative Van Orden.

Do you know how brave you have to be to call out a group of teens who are loitering? The ones at my 7-Eleven said I had no drip and I have not been back in months. No drip at all? Not even a little drip? Somehow, as impossible as it may seem,

we are learning about new George Santos scams. This is incredible. According to the New York Times, in addition to other shady deals, Santos actually tried to run a version of the classic Nigerian prince scam on one of his wealthy donors. He claimed that a rich Polish citizen

couldn't access his funds to buy crypto. Police caught on when the fictional Polish millionaire mentioned only needing one person to change a light bulb, while neglecting to mention that the other two, though who would be required to turn the ladder. I know, I know. Hey, can we make Polish jokes in the year 2023? Brian, consult the Jokatron 5000.

Oh, it exploded backstage? I couldn't even get through that one. Turn the ladder. Right-wing propaganda outlet PragerU said Florida had approved their PragerU Kids material for use in classrooms. Before everyone freaks out, some of this actually looks pretty straightforward. If a caravan is heading towards the southern border

at four miles per hour and patriots are building Donald Trump's magnificent wall at a rate of seven feet per day, why does Joe Biden deserve the death... Okay. I'm kidding, of course. The PragerU kids material is just slaughterhouse safety videos with a voiceover that occasionally mentions the Jews. So it's not that different from the previous curriculum, but still, alarming.

An 11-year-old girl in Florida Was arrested and charged with a felony After making a fake 911 call on a dare Claiming that an armed man kidnapped her friend Said Sheriff Mike Chitwood This kind of prank activity is dangerous And it wasted valuable resources The officer then jumped into his armored amphibious combat vehicle

And drove home to pack for the annual retreat A city septa trolley derailed and crashed Pack for the annual retreat. A city septa trolley derailed and crashed into a historic home in southwest Philly on Thursday night. City officials said that the rail operator could have stopped it, but he was paralyzed, unsure whether or not it was morally justified to divert the trolley

into a less historic home. historic home. The incident marks the fifth SEPTA crash in a week and there's nothing left to do except to laugh and say that's Philly. The Houston Independent School District announced a plan to close at least 28 school libraries. Under the plan, the school district will fire the librarians and turn the libraries into discipline centers for children removed from class.

The books will remain in the library spaces using an honor system. They're calling it prison. After he filed for divorce this week... Oh, I'm cutting that. I don't really... Here's the... We can just talk about it. I'm not interested in that Spongebob guy

and the Ariana Grande thing. I'm not. I'm not interested in it. Country music star and future Donald Trump handshaker Jason Aldean ran offstage mid-song and canceled the rest of the concert after reportedly experiencing heat stroke. Hey Jason, here's something you can try in a small town. Drinking water.

El Nino and other ongoing weather crises are reportedly causing a sugar shortage, which will likely affect candy companies' ability to produce candy for Halloween. This Halloween is brought to you by little boxes of raisins. Raisins are nature's candy, until you try candy. We all hated getting these little boxes, because we knew about candy. But in a world without candy, raisins are candy again. And pennies, like for the little

UNICEF box? Is that what you mean? What? But you keep saying pennies. Yeah, that's what I, yeah, pennies. That's what I said, but it was a UNICEF box thing. When I was a kid, do you guys have the UNICEF box? But it was supplemental. You didn't just walk around with a UNICEF box. You had the UNICEF box and you had the little bucket. Yeah. What?

It's a New York thing? Apparently not. Scientists are baffled by a mysterious object in space that has been lighting up every 20 minutes for over three decades. One researcher was heard to remark, what is this thing, Seth Rogen? Two species of roundworms that have been frozen in permafrost were revived by scientists and dated to be about 46,000 years old. Honey, guess what I did at work today,

said the worm scientist jubilantly to no one, returning to his empty, empty home. But these worms look incredible. If anyone has a permafrost guy in L.A., let me know. The lead scientist told reporters, now we've got to get these ancient worms back to Congress. In another study, scientists were able to extend the lives of old mice by connecting their blood vessels to younger mice.

scientists were able to extend the lives of old mice by connecting their blood vessels to younger mice. Oh, interesting, said Mitch McConnell after 30 silent seconds standing between a terrified intern and the only exit. And finally, Trader Joe's issued a recall for their unexpected broccoli cheddar soup after it was unexpectedly discovered to contain insects. What?

Girls can have girl dinner, but boys can't have boy dinner? All right, when we come back, Delaware State Senator Sarah McBride is here. And we're back. Pennsylvania and Delaware, a peace as fragile as any on Earth. The simmering resentments between these mortal enemies always but one spark, one ember from a roiling boil.

In Philadelphia schools each morning, children say the Pledge of Allegiance and the pledge to seek the return of the wedge, a one-mile tract of disputed territory currently occupied by Delaware, that the simple people of this region, that the simple people of this region, with their jerseys and hand food

and fascinating culture of rudeness, claim has historical, if not spiritual, significance. Here to bridge the divide, please welcome to the stage its Delaware State Senator and hopefully the state's future congresswoman, Sarah McBride. Thanks for being here. Now, first question. Obviously, the line,

the Delaware-Maryland-Pennsylvania line has been, hasn't moved very much since 1921. But here in front of the people of Pennsylvania, can you at all, can you even consider the return of the wedge? The wedge is front of the people of Pennsylvania can you at all, can you even consider the return of the wedge? The wedge is one of the most pristine parts

of the great state of Delaware and we will never, ever give it up and we don't have much land to lose so we've got to keep all we can. That's smart, that's politics. How's the campaign trail been so far? It's been great. I announced about a month ago

for the open congressional seat in Delaware. And for those who don't know, if I'm elected, I'll be the first openly transgender member of Congress. And Republican. And Republican. And Republican. Thank you. We've got, I think, much of the state of Delaware here this evening, so...

No one is left in the state right now. But it's been fantastic, the support that has come in, the folks who have visited sarahmcbride.com to donate and volunteer to make sure that we are reaching as many voters as possible and doing what has never been done before and making sure that all of the voices are heard in Congress. energizing experience. And I'm excited for the next year to get my message out there about Delaware needing a member of Congress who's going to be effective and thoughtful in delivering real results on all of the issues that matter to Delawareans. So you're campaigning on health care, on paid leave. What is an issue that's actually surprised you that you've been asked about that people might not expect? Well, I think one of the things that I often get asked is, are people ready to elect someone like you to Congress? And I think one of the facts that I have seen throughout my political career is that voters are fair-minded.

They are looking at a candidate's ideas, not their identity. They're more concerned with who can deliver for them than they are a candidate's gender. And I think that's one of the things that right now in this moment, it's easy to feel despondent. It's easy to feel hopeless.

It's easy to feel cynical. But running for office in 2020 and now running for the U.S. Congress, I think for me, one of the things that inspires me the most is that when I see voters, they see me as a multidimensional human being and they want to talk about the issues. They don't want to talk about my identity. And one of the issues you have been focusing on is protecting access to health care and ways we can improve the health care system,

in part because you've had a really personal... You've been affected really personally by the health care system. Can you talk a little bit about that, if you don't mind, and how it influences the policies you think we need. Sure. Well, I am running for Congress not just as a lifelong Delawarean, not just as a sitting member of the Delaware State Senate, but also as someone who served as a caregiver to my husband, Andy, during his battle with cancer. Andy was diagnosed with cancer about a year into our relationship. He was about 25 at the time. I was 23 just out of college. And when he heard that word that

everyone fears cancer, our hearts sunk and it felt like the world was coming in on us. But throughout his battle with cancer, Andy always considered himself lucky. He was lucky to have health insurance. We were both lucky to have flexible workplace policies that allowed him to focus on the full-time job of trying to get better and me to focus on the full-time job of being there to care for him, to love him, and to support him, and ultimately to be there to marry him just four days before he passed away. And the thing about Andy is that up until his last breath, he always considered himself lucky. And I don't believe having health insurance, I don't believe having access to paid family

and medical leave should be a matter of luck. I believe it should be the law of the land. And that's why in the Delaware State Senate, I've championed health care reform and not only introduced but passed in my first term paid family and medical leave, the largest expansion of the social safety net in modern state history in Delaware, because those basic support structures, that little bit of breathing room during inevitable life challenges, that should be a reality for every person, regardless of where they live and regardless of what job they have. One thing I wanted to ask you about. So in April, the Biden administration proposed a rule that would forbid bands of trans athletes from playing sports that match their gender identities, so these blanket bands,

but would still allow schools in some cases to block individual athletes depending on the sport and the level of competition. This was seen by some people as a way to stop these big blanket bands to fight back against some of these more conservative governors and state legislatures. Others saw it as a like a really troubling concession to a right wing argument. And then there was a kind of a third group that thought it was in some way shrewd because it recognized that that Republicans feel like this is that that sports is a place where they want to have this debate. What was your reaction to it, both as somebody who is trans,

but also as someone who has been a communicator for a gay rights organization and is thinking about the policies? Sure, well, first off, as a Delawarean, we all are dated, mated, or related. So I have, like every Delawarean, the privilege of knowing Joe Biden. And I have seen his commitment to trans rights up close. I've seen his passion.

I've seen his understanding of these issues. his understanding of these issues. And I think on that proposed rule, the most important thing is that it would very clearly declare that the types of anti-trans policies that Republican governors and Republican legislatures across the country are, that they're pushing, that those policies are illegal, that those policies are a violation of federal law. Now, there's certainly room for improvement in the rule. I believe that as a trans person. But I think it's important for us to recognize that Republicans have honed in on this particular issue because they believe that it'll help to divide progressives, it'll help to divide the Democratic Party. And it'll alienate some folks who might otherwise be with us on trans rights on practically every other issue, but have some

concerns here. And I think what's really important is as we work with the Biden administration to make sure that it's the most robust rule possible that can withstand this packed right-wing court, that we reinforce our folks that these attacks that we're seeing from sports to healthcare to book bans are an effort by Republican politicians to distract from the fact that they have absolutely no policy proposals to meet the needs of workers and families in this country. And so we should defend the rights of a community I'm proud to be a part of with every breath, but we should also never lose sight of the fact that this is part of an ongoing strategy by right-wing politicians to divide and conquer. They've focused on different marginalized communities in the past. Today, they're focused on trans people. And so we have to stand united.

communities in the past. Today, they're focused on trans people. And so we have to stand united. And I believe that as we saw in 2022, that these types of attacks will ring hollow with voters in 2024. They don't speak to what's actually keeping people up at night. And of course, on top of that, we know they don't wear well in history. Have any of President Joe Biden's dogs ever bitten you? Have you gotten the business from Major, Commander, General? I've neither been bitten or humped by any of Joe Biden's dogs. Don't you think that should become almost like a rite of passage? Like, is this person work closely with the White House?

Let's just say he's been bitten by Major. You know? Yeah, I think that's fair. Sarah, I'm not going to lie. I didn't know much about Delaware. I'm sorry. Some might say I still don't.

But tonight, we thought we'd all learn a little bit about... The greatest state in the union. The greatest... Just... What did you think I was... What did you project onto me? What a fascinating thing.

I said nothing and you screamed, don't say it. It? What? That it's the tax haven thing? All right. Be careful. We've got Joe Biden's dogs here. Yeah, Joe Biden's dogs are here. You say anything insulting.

Yeah. Come on. All right. It's time for a game we're calling Sell-A-Ware. Delaware is actually the first state. That's right. Pennsylvania, this pit full of gritty eggs was second

how many days how many days before Pennsylvania did Delaware unanimously vote to ratify the US Constitution five it was actually just a few hours one or seven oh god nothing matters after Delaware ratified the Constitution just a few hours. One or seven? Oh, God.

Nothing matters after Delaware ratified the Constitution. But I'll guess B. No, it was five days. It was five days. But it's good not to know. Nobody cares how long

it took you to come in second. That's right. How did Delaware get the nickname the Diamond State? Is it A, because like diamonds it will live forever?

B, it was the first state where settlers found precious gems but not diamonds? C, Thomas Jefferson called it a jewel among the states?

Or D, King George used it as a storehouse for about a third of the crown jewels? I believe that... Don't give me the answers. Let me get it myself. C.

It is. It is Thomas Jefferson. I did know that one. I promise I knew that one. However, I will say Monticello.org says this exact quotation has not been found in any of the writings of Thomas Jefferson. So. How many feet has not been found in any of the writings of Thomas Jefferson. So,

how many feet above sea level is Delaware's highest point? I believe... 200, 380, 450, or 16,000. What kind of mountain would that be?

Jesus. I don't remember that. Yeah. I was going to say you, you rounded up here. Cause I thought it was like 433 or something. 450. See, you got it. Yes. Specifically 447.85 feet. Yeah. Nice. We have like a nice little stone. It's by a parking lot. It's like a slight incline from a road with a mall on it. It's beautiful. Is there a vista? No vista.

No vista. No vista. Leonard Mall ran a bait and tackle shop in Luz, Delaware. Is it, how do you say Luz? Lewis. Lewis? We've got some Delaware beach people here.

They know what they're talking about. He died in 2012. What is his last wish? A, that local newspapers describe his surviving wife as a tall drink of water. B, that his beloved pet parrot Coco be sent to Costa Rica. C, that $10,000 be thrown out of a helicopter to rain money on the town of Lewis.

Or C, oh, that was it. I cut the D. B. Oh, I missed B. Sorry. B. His children have a televised pillow fight to decide who'd win his inheritance? Or the other ones I've already said. This is made up. It isn't.

I'm going to need an answer. You can help. You can ask the audience for help. C. You isn't. I'm going to need an answer. You can help. You can ask the audience for help. C. You got it. Wait, wait. Did every answer C? Wait, no. Oh, so on my card you got. No, you're correct. It was D. Yes.

Let 10,000 be thrown out of a helicopter. Okay. Wow. Which of the following is not a real place in Delaware? Slaughter Beach, Bear, Murder Kill River, or Horville?

Horkill. Or E, they're all real. How do you say it? Horkill? Horkill or Horville? Horkill. Murder Kill River. What the fuck?

Or E, they're all real. Well, Slaughter Beach is definitely real. Bear is real. Murder Kill is real. Horkill? I don't think I've heard Horkill. E. You got it.

They're all real. Whoops. What? You gotta stop by Whorekill. It's not an incorporated locality. Yeah, they're trying to stay under the radar.

Alright, now listen. We've already covered this topic a bit, but according to the website DelawareToday.com, which we cannot verify, what percentage of Delawareans have claimed to have met Joe Biden in person? Is it A, 10%, B, 15%, C, 25%, or D, 40%? D. You know, you'd think it would be, B, 15% C, 25% or D, 40%? D.

You know, you'd think it would be. It is. It's C. It's 25%. 40 seems too high. 40 seems too high. The audience was with D, so I was going with the people. How many people? On your voice. How many people here tonight are from Delaware? That is really not that many. That's disappointing.

It is a schlep up here. Who are you? You went to school together? Cab Calloway. Yeah, we've got actually Matt Marshall here who also went to Cab Calloway. Cab Calloway School of the Arts. Nice. Now. went to Cab Calloway. Cab Calloway School of the Arts. Nice. Now,

sorry, remind me, how many people here from Delaware? How many of you have met Joe Biden? That feels like 40%. I have to say. Did you have that one

worked up behind the stage? Yeah. It was a good Delaware joke. Sure. In better news, the ladybug is Delaware's official insect, which is queer culture. Why the ladybug? Is it A, the same ladybug landed on the state's first governor

three separate times? These are tiny. B, a truck full of ladybugs tipped on the highway in 1963 closing a road C a random class of second graders

in 1974 launched an aggressive campaign to make it so or D this didn't actually happen but the state lore is that Betsy Ross was incredibly insistent

that the flag be flown at the capitol and the lieutenant governor at the time screamed okay ladies stop bugging me. So I'm noticing a trend. As a member of the legislature, we often get lobbied by

second graders who are advocating to change different things, so we just declared the rescue dog the state dog. Aww. Aww. Very controversial. Is pandering the state dog. Aww. Oh. Aww. Very controversial. Is pandering the state behavior? Yeah.

Saga C. Okay. And you got it. Yes! And finally. Man, I think I failed. True or false? No, this is your crushing.

True or false? In 2015, schools and businesses across the state were sporadically closed because an ostrich was running amok terrorizing Delawareans. True. I'm sorry, we can't accept it. It was an emu. You can give me that.

Give me that. All right. There we go. 2019, there was a bear that was loose in Newcastle County. I went out door knocking and almost died. Was it pride? It was bear weekend in Rehoboth, yeah. It was bear, yeah, the bears come every season.

It was just a pool filled of hairy men, yes. How can people help the campaign? Well, I already mentioned it before, but I'll use the shameless plug again. SarahMcBride.com. We're trying to do something that no one has ever done in our history. So please visit it.

Donate, volunteer, help us out. Thank you so much for being here, Sarah McBride. When we come back, we'll see how pro-union you really are. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. What'd you say?

Oh, okay, yeah. Wow. It's so great to be in Philadelphia. I love this town and all its many sandwiches, which reminds me... Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Wake up, sheeple! The truth is out there! The truth

is out there! Excuse me? I'm sorry, John. I'm sorry to interrupt, but I will not be silenced. Not by the flight attendants on Spirit Airlines, and certainly not by you. Alright, well, you can't just come up on stage. Are you even on the list?

Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? To have me on one of your lists? Nice try. I'm not going in your system, John. You mean the slack where we get my friends free tickets before they bail last minute? Sounds like that one. No, John, I threw away the paper

with the other line on it but listen alright great it was about it was about me telling you my name which is something I already knew which is great listen John Flynn Goosterman I'm here from the union. That's AFCT Local 3.

That's Philly's chapter of the American Federation of Conspiracy Theorists. And we're here with a list of demands. Why are you issuing your demands to me? To you? Don't make me say it. It's because I'm Jewish. You know Obama, so. I just thought. Oh, yeah, no, yeah, okay.

Alright, well, well, well, Flynn Gusterman, what's up? Well, here's my deal, John. The conspiracy theorists are overworked, okay? There's too many conspiracies these days to keep track of. RFK says COVID protects Jews and Asians. There's an actual hearing about little dead alien bodies. There are room

temperature superconductors that may or may not exist. Elon is assigning us way too much for any one conspiracy theorist to handle. And to top it all off, the cost of raw milk that the government hasn't pumped full of the hormones that make you gay, it's through the roof. And I'm afraid that if our demands aren't met soon, we have no choice but to join our brothers and sisters in the Hollywood acting and writing community

and go on strike. I'm not sure that the actors and writers consider you to be siblings. Oh, really, John? Then why are so many of your favorite actors unvaccinated? Jenny McCarthy. Yeah, that's the favorite I was thinking of. And you love her in that show.

Love her, yeah. The masked singer. And singled out. Yes. It's my favorite one. Well, you got me there. Look, this summer is very much about being alive, despite what the establishment would have you believe.

That goes for labor, aliens, and Sinead O'Connor, okay? Oh, boy. Look, okay, and you're not on my side, but that's okay, because that's not a joke. It's the truth, okay? Look, it's all happening, John. The UPS Teamsters threatened a massive strike and got a historic deal with higher wages, more full-time jobs, and newer workplace protections.

Right? And those guys got all that, despite having low IQ from fluoride in the tap water. Now imagine what a union of geniuses who only drink Mountain Dew Code Red could accomplish. Well, why would you drink... Why didn't you just drink some bottled water? Oh, I couldn't do that, John. So many chemicals just packed to the brim with hydrogen.

Yeah, okay. But Mountain Dew? That's all natural. chemicals just packed to the brim with hydrogen. Yeah, okay. But Mountain Dew? That's all natural. It's even in the name. Mountains, nature. Dew, liquid nature. Checkmate, baby. So, I'm sorry, you think Mountain Dew is made from mountains? John, I Mountain Dew my own research, okay? Don't try to derail me. Look, my union is not about to let this moment pass us by, okay? Do you have any idea how hard it was to unionize a bunch of people this paranoid? Half our chapter thinks I'm a lizard wearing a human suit remote controlled by Bill Gates to

reverse psychology everyone into getting vaccinated. And the other half thinks I'm Elvis. And honestly, I'm starting to believe it because I look so much like him. If I could just get all of them on the same page, you know? Yeah, it sounds like you've got a real tricky coalition there. Yeah, and it's getting trickier all the time. The proliferation of conspiracy theories makes it impossible to stay focused.

God, I miss those peak QAnon days. You know, when we were all working together on one big theory, that a letter of the alphabet knew all the government secrets. There was such a sense of community then. You know, if you got sick and you couldn't afford to see a doctor,

people you'd never met would step up and give you advice on how to heal yourself by taking a hacksaw to some 5G towers. And that's mutual aid. Exactly. But things are so splintered now. You know, everyone's so distracted by a different celebrity death to investigate

or a scientific paper to Google or a school board meeting to disrupt. We've lost the common thread that bound us all together. The thread that leads directly to Hillary Clinton's sex trafficking ring. And that's why Americans are so lonely, John. Is that why? Is that really the reason? Well, for you it might be your personality. I can't speak to that. That's tough.

Look, all I know, all I know is we had a better conspiracy life balance when there were fewer conspiracies. And they were still counterculture, you know? Bunk rock! You really felt like you were a part of something. And the whole thing was literally underground. A lot of us had bunkers. But then Trump comes along, and it's all deep state this and deep state that and oh jack smith isn't even his real name it's short for jack-o'-lantern smithers i'm not sure that i don't think that's exactly what he said

but okay okay well i don't have my fucking spreadsheet in front of me. It's so much to keep track of. Look, I'm just saying, I miss the good old days, you know? Before those rabbis taught Al Gore how to code. What? Is that what happened? Those rabbis... I just hate that they did that. It keeps me up at night. No, I forgot hate that they did that. It keeps me up at night.

Yeah, I forgot about that. Everyone knows who randomized.alcor. It's just too much. I don't know what to tell you. Conspiracy theories have gone too mainstream. Now Ron DeSantis wants to appoint anti-vax king RFK Jr. to run the CDC? Come on, sellout much? Santos wants to appoint anti-vax King RFK Jr. to run the CDC? Uh, come on.

Sell out much? Wait, so what are your union's actual demands? Okay, I'm glad you asked. Well, demand number one, we want higher wages. From who? Demand number two, every Pfizer plant in the country

must be bombed into a crater, obviously. So that seems like a non-starter. We will strike, John. Don't think we won't. Don't strikes usually have to be disruptive to somebody's business interests? Demand number three, social media platforms must do a better job of enforcing their misinformation policies. Wait. Yeah, what? Well, it's the only way to get conspiracy theories back down to a manageable level, John. I don't have time to sit around on my laptop proving all these Elon tweets right. And the best conspiracies need time to percolate under the surface in the shadows

back how it used to be when i was a little girl and you were a little reptile all right that's how they have lasting power sure we might have to move from the mainstream platforms back to our slimy little message boards operating out of Belarus, but we'll have our community back. We'll have less burnout and more time to spend with our disease-riddled children. Can't, can't, can't establish logic. It, it said measles on the card. Was that softer? Would that have been nicer? Would measles have been better? Because measles is related to an actual vaccine. There's like an actual problem. Anyway.

Look. Did I hear rubella? Don't you freaks. Bitch. Child diseases we've eradicated. Just sit quietly till this is done. Because I got a lot of thoughts about Rubella. I'd love to talk to you after the show.

Did somebody say whooping cough? What are you doing? We're not doing a disease pitch session. And these are all great ideas. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, we're okay. Look, look, let me get back here. My point is that we gotta get the conspiracies reigned in because the digital swamps, those are where we belong.

It's sort of pretty self-aware of you. Exactly. Only then will we finally amass all the evidence we need to prove the Earth was flat until 9-11. All right, that's enough. Get out of here, Flynn Goosterman from the AFCT Local 3. The Chinese invented Greta Gerwig to distract you from Ukraine. Hey, everybody.

Give it up for Kylie Brakeman. Check out her podcast, Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists. It's great. When we come back, somehow heartbreak feels terrible in a place like this. And we're back.

Despite what the rest of America might have heard, the people of Philadelphia are people. Here to discuss the most human experience of all, heartbreak, it's the incredible R. Eric Thomas. Hi. Thanks for being here. How you doing? I love what you've done with the place. Eric.

Yes. You're an author. I am. A playwright. A TV writer. Yes. Or you were. Yeah.

And most importantly, you're gay. That is the most important thing about me. In your opinion of these four, which is worst? Which is worst? important thing about me. In your opinion of these four, which is worst? Which is worst? Well, I do think that being gay is both the best and the worst thing about me. Really? It is, because it makes me, well, one, you know, the listeners on the radio can't see this, but I'm incredibly hot. And thank you. Hot gay people are both a gift to the world because we make it look nice.

Sure we do. But also, we have terrible attitudes. Yeah. But I think the real answer is TV writer, unfortunately. Watch your feet, a name's about to drop. Isaac Mizrahi was on the New York show last night. Oh. And I asked him to evaluate my outfit,

and he asked me if I was straight. As a joke. And all of a sudden, it hit me that I hadn't thought about it. No one has obviously thought that about me in quite some time, and he really didn't either. But it's funny how far... I was realizing how far I'd come since I was like 12.

Yeah. When it would have probably been the opposite. Oh yeah. Of course. And I was like, oh my God, how could you fucking say that to me?

Like, I felt like Prince Harry in that Nazi uniform. You know? No, it's true. Yeah, like, hot and under attack. Yeah.

I'm sorry. For years, it's like, people are like, gay guy. Like, it's like, Hot and under attack. I'm sorry. For years, people were like, gay guy. It's like, you know, back in the day, you walk down the street and people ride by and they're like, gay. And I was like, no! But also, first of all, I feel like now I'd give them a big check, like they're on Price is Right or something. I'm like, you got me, bitch! One time I was coming home from the gym and I was wearing like a ratty T-shirt and sweats.

Yes, that's right. I work out. Once. And I just look like shit, you know. And like a truck pulled up. This is in South Philly. And corner of 16th and Rittner, for those who know. And he leaned out the window and he was like, gay.

And I was like, what is giving this away? And it's bothering, it's been like 10 years, and I just want to know. If you're listening to the podcast. Someone goes and pulls CCTV footage and you're just

sashaying down the street. It was hips, hips, hips, hips. It's like, how did anyone crack this? I was incognito. I mean, yeah, wearing my skin-tight sweatpants, like, just switching. Singing Defying Gravity at the top of your lungs.

Who would have guessed? So you have a book of essays coming out next month called Congratulations, The Best Is Over. Yes, I do. Is it? The best? Well, you have a book of essays coming out next month called Congratulations, The Best Is Over. Yes, I do. Is it the best? Well, you have to read the book to find out. No, but here's the thing.

One of the reasons, the big idea in the book is that the best is both over and also always happening. We will never be this young and beautiful again without surgery. We will never be this young and beautiful again without surgery. And there are things in our life and our society that are never coming back. There are some halcyon days politically that I just don't think are going to ever come back. But there is still more reason to stick around. If there wasn't reason to stick around, then you shouldn't stick around. But I think there is reason to stick around. So I think it is over.

But I think that there's more best yet to come. Now, I agree with that. So you describe in the book making an unexpected move back to your hometown, as well as going through the end of a romantic relationship. What's worse, going through a heart-rending breakup or living in Baltimore? Wow. I do think, here's the thing. I went through a real journey in the book with Baltimore. I moved back to Baltimore from Philadelphia against my will. And I was very much not happy to be there for a long time.

But I really appreciate the city. And so I do think going through a breakup is worse. Although, I do think breakup me, breakup is, is, is worse. Although I do think breakup me, it's been a long time since I've been broken up with, but breakup me is the, the most beautifully dramatic person. There was one time I went over to my friend Jake's house. Um, he lived at third and South. I don't want to give you all the, like, I'm like proving, I'm like, I'm from Philly. You're like, you're like dropping a pin and texting us. Yeah. I'm like, this is where I am. But I went over to his house,

and because I had cried to all my friends, and I was like, who can I cry to next about this breakup? So I went back to the beginning, and I went back to Jake, and I'm crying, and I was just like, who's going to love me? And I did not realize I was quoting the movie, Monique from the movie Precious. I became so gay that I just became,

I was quoting best supporting actress winners. And that's, that's how you know. In your book, you describe being terrorized by a plague of gay frogs. Yes. What in the Alex Jones happened? So we moved to the suburbs, and, which is a mistake, and we had three quarters of an acre,

and this is in the suburbs of Baltimore, we had three-quarters of an acre of land. And I was like, oh, reparations. And that's not how it works. I liked him, but he talked about race so much. And so my husband, who's a real outdoor cat, he's an Eagle Scout, he, you know, he likes dirt, you know, and he's white. I don't know if that matters, but it's useful.

I think we knew at Eagle Scout. What? I don't know. Are there black Eagle Scouts? Can I say that? I don't know. Cut it. Just for safety.

So he decided he was going to dig a pond in our backyard. So he digs this 1,000-gallon pond. And it was beautiful. We were really bored. And I was writing for a TV show at the time. So he digs this 1,000-gallon pond. And one night, we're sitting out back, and we hear this tree frog chirping in the pond. And I was like, oh, that's nice. Beautiful. And then we hear another tree frog from two houses over and they're kind of coming closer and closer to each other. And the eastern tree frog has a very high pitch, very

long trill. As we all know. Right, exactly. And so it's like a little bit we have to raise our voices a little bit. It's a little loud. And I was like, oh, David, it's so cute. These two frogs are falling in love right in our pond. And he's like, well, it's only the male tree frogs who trill at each other. And I was like, oh, well, you made a gay bar. This is great.

So the pond filled up with frogs. Like, I'm talking like hundreds of frogs, so much so that we couldn't be outside without shouting at each other. And he loved the sound. He's lying in bed. He's like, it puts me to sleep. And meanwhile, I'm going crazy. I'm Googling, when will the frog stop screaming? Did you Google how to kill a lot of frogs?

You know I did. I'm sorry if you like animals. But no, I'm on this message board with all these people who have frog infestations in their yard. And there's a lot of people who experience this problem, including a lot of people in Australia. I don't know what's going on down there. Well, you know, if you want to get rid of a bunch of gay frogs, if you just get a couple lesbians to go, it might just change the whole vibe. Oh, God.

I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. I'm just looking for a joke. No, I was like, I don't want to destroy the gay frog bar. I just want to put up a high-rise condominium on top of it and raise the property value so much so that they have to leave.

You know, like, you know, like, we also burlesque. Like, I understand how it works, you know? Like, and so the, the, the, one of the things they say to do on the website is to get a snake. And I was like, oh, I'll get a snake. But then I have a snake, John.

What am I going to do with a snake? Yeah, right, because then you got a snake problem. So then they were like, oh, you could spray, like, what was it, vinegar around the pond, and it'll, like, burn their skin a little bit, and they won't come back. And I was like, okay, like, burn? Like, how much burn? You know, like, oh, boo! Or, like, ah, you know, I didn't know. So I sprayed like a little portion of the, of the pond. Um, and like the grass all died. And so then David comes to me and he's like,

I think somebody is like attacking our pond homophobia. Uh, and so, And so then I had to admit to him, I was like, no, David, I've committed a frog hate crime. And so, yeah, so I failed. I failed at being both a good husband and also a person in concert with nature. But I got to sleep. And that's the lesson. Hello? Because we don't need me, Cranky, okay? We don't need him, Cranky.

We need him well-rested. You don't want to see me without my coffee. Not kept awake. Don't dead frog me before I've had my talk to... I don't know. So, okay. so okay so you write a lot about heartbreak

I do so you're qualified to help this audience with their share of heartbreak as well oh yes so let's bring the lights up producer Brian's going to be out there if you have a heartbreak story you want to share want to get some advice about

about a breakup a lost love If you have a heartbreak story you want to share, want to get some advice about, about a breakup, a lost love. I'm so nosy, please. There's somebody, Brian, somebody. Tell me your turn. There's a real first brick at Stonewall energy. It takes so long for one person to raise your hand and then everybody reaches. You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, I do. I was at Stonewall. Hey, thank you I wanted to let you know you're welcome hi what's your name and what is your question and if you want to anonymize yourself just make up a name

any name Sally hi Sally being ghosted. Ooh. By, yeah, I gave him my heart. I fell in love and he broke it and he ghosted. How long, how long, how many times have you seen each other?

I knew him for several years. Oh my God. And then we had a fling. Mm-hmm. And then we had a fling. And then poof. Do you ever run into him socially? Or did he go to witness protection? Well, we're still quasi-connected through a group chat. What do you mean?

Does he respond on that group chat? It's a very extensive group chat. Like, I'd say close to 15 members. Oh, yuck. Sorry. It's, um... Yuck. Yeah, it's super yuck.

So in your one-on-one correspondence, it's gone silent. Yeah. But he continues to respond inside of this chat with 15 people. Right, because I was sworn to secrecy. By whom? Him. The ghost was like, Ebenezer! You cannot say a word!

This was when things were happening. He goes, I really want privacy, things to remain between us. I know I'm an idiot. No, no, no. Hey, hey, Sally, come on. Sally. That's not the Sally we know. Sally, if you don't support you, who's going to support you?

But wait. So, what is your question? What advice would you give to someone who's been ghosted, I guess? Oh, you mean like just moving on? Or how to burn them down. Thank you. Okay, first thing you're going to do is you're going to take out your phone right now. While keeping things secretive.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to keep it secret, keep it real cool, keep it chill, unbothered, moisturized, in our lane. Okay. You're going to pull your phone out right now. You're going to turn it back on because you turned it off at the beginning of the show. You're going to open up that group chat, okay? And you're going to just send, like, just a couple of memes, okay? You got to find something about ghosting, something, you know, Casper, you know?

Just something real casual, you know, a little bit of, a little, you know, again, a little Christmas carol, if you will. Some famous ghost, nothing obscure. You know, Patrick Swayze, okay? Nothing obscure. Patrick Swayze, okay? And people are like, Sally, all 17,000 people in your chat. That gives me so much stress.

What's your largest group chat? Oh, like seven. Okay, yeah. Mine is three people. And one of them never responds. But kudos to you for having executive function. So you just, they're like, Sally, what's this? And you're like,

oh, sorry, wrong chat. And you do that every day. That is good advice for Sally. Anybody else? I hope he listens to this episode. Is it a love it or leave it discussion group that'd be cool as hell that's easy oh oh hi hi what's your what's your name or real or otherwise my name is so it's joe so it doesn't really matter either way Oh, my name is so anonymous. It's Joe, so it doesn't really matter either way. Anonymous at birth.

Joe, no. Mine's a sort of specific question, sort of around a breakup. I have a bunch of their shit at my mom's barn. Obsessed. There's a person next to you going, it's a lot of stuff. So you have a bunch of your ex's stuff at your,

and I quote, mom's barn. End quote, Joe. How long ago did you break up? You know, it was one of the... No, I don't. It was one of those many times things. I think the final one was like

a year and a half ago. Oh my god. Ex-fiance too, if you and a half ago. Oh my god. Ex-fiance too. Joe, I have to tell you something. I have to tell you something. I get it. No, don't burn it. It's not

environmentally friendly to burn stuff. It's just like, when's the right day to put a Paul Smith suit in a box and send it somewhere? You know what I'm saying? It's just in there. I don't feel like doing it today. No reason. It's just a stressful thing to deal with.

And I just moved and all the stuff was in my old place's garage. I did that. I've heard that happens to people. It's so sad. You moved the stuff. I moved it because I couldn't fit it in the dumpster,

and I was going to pay for a second dumpster, and now I have it. No, no. I don't believe you anymore. You moved it because you didn't want to put it in the dumpster? No, you know why I moved it. Yeah, you moved it. Yeah. All right.

Well, what's your, again, we've reached to the point where we say, what's your question? How long do I wait? Like, am I already past, is it too long? Wait for what? I don't know what to do with this shit. Is it all? Here's what I would say. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

You know that thing about how it takes a tree a hundred years to grow? So today's a good day to plant one. You know? Would you mail it back or throw it out? Oh, girl, okay, first of all, if it's in a barn, this person does not,

they're like, oh, where is my stuff? Oh, it's in mom's barn? You know, Charlotte and Orville and all the Wilbur. Crowded out. Templeton's crawling all through it. You don't care about that. Your person doesn't care about their shit. This has happened to me multiple times.

Because why? I'm a good person and a little bit of a hoarder. Yes. One person left an Eames chair in my basement. I said to him multiple times, do you want your chair back? He's like, ah, I've just found a place in my life where I can take it. I was like, okay, put it on Craigslist. And then, but I didn't feel like writing a description, so I just gave it away.

Yeah, that's right. I don't believe in selling things. I'm a socialist. But you should buy my book. All right. No, but it's time. It's time to give it away, Joe. It's called Got Junk.

I think it's either I think you either gotta get rid of it or you gotta send it back. But it's time to make a choice. It's expensive to send all that. It's like a...

What has their communication been around this stuff? Nothing. Oh, they don't care. Hey, can I ask you something? What's the nicest thing in the barn from this collection?

The nicest one item. Just name one thing. I think there's like a box of jewelry. Like... Thank you. We have five dollars five dollars I hear five dollars

five dollars five dollars ten dollars ten I see ten I see ten do I get twenty there we go

we got twenty in the back we're gonna clear that barn it's time to clean that barn Job okay I'll mail it back I just haven't gotten around to it you know what you should do you should sell it all at yard just haven't gotten around to it. You know what you should do?

You should sell it all at yard sale and donate it all to sarahmcryde.com. There we go. Who's next? Hi, what is your name and what is your story and question? So my actual name is John A. And my question is, so I had a friend that I was in love with

and he was in love with me and we wrote each other letters and we did all these things and never actually dated and kind of like broke up our friendship because of it. And then I moved back to my hometown and ran into him. And he pretended, I guess, like none of it ever happened and that we should still just be the best of friends

and meet up and have drinks and do this. And one of the biggest reasons for our like breakup was miscommunication. And I mean, like I'm texting him like hey what's up and then getting a response like a week and a half later um yeah so um I guess my question is oh well I should also state so we did go and have those drinks we did like go out and like have a little like we went like thrifting to no no no I have my boyfriend but I texted him like at this point like months ago and I still haven't heard back and he does have his red receipts on so I did see that he read it and he has not responded so I guess my

question is should I continue to try to pursue this friendship again okay okay what I think you have yeah and I think you got your answer but it was his idea for us to be friends again and he even forgot why we weren't you know what this kind of you know what this kind of motherfucker is this is a before sunset kind of dude where he's like oh i want to have a magical little 24 hours and then evidence and you live in the real world okay you have a partner you went thrifting you bought some clothes that belong to other people at some point they look great this person's just floating around. This person's basically a ghost.

He needs to land in the group chat for Sally. Scare up some business. Exactly. I think it's... I'm sorry to ask, maybe this is a... I don't know your culture. I don't know your world.

Do straight men and straight women go thrifting together? I didn't know that that took place in the straight world. I mean, in our small town, we have a couple. Did you try on coats while there was music playing? Was there dancing in a dressing room? Because I think

I know what might be going on. No, I mean, all I got was like a Jesus Christ superstar vinyl and like a flannel. So that's how I thrifted. Okay. Choose happiness. I did.

I did. I mean, truly, you're with someone clearly better because this person has shown up to this show with you as well as probably gets back to your text. I mean, I bought his tickets to the show, but our fourth date was actually thrifting. Okay, we gotta talk after the show a little bit. It does sound like you're in the right neighborhood, but we gotta pull into the right driveway. I'm reeling what's been going on here tonight.

Let's do one more. Thank you. I think you've landed in a good place. do one more. Thank you. I think you've landed in a good place. A barn full of things. Oh my goodness. Go Brian. Wait, who was it?

Shout out producer Brian. Yeah, sure. Every show. Look at that water. So I'm Lily. Hi Lily. And this is convoluted. So I have Lily Hi Lily And this is This is convoluted So I have a best friend

I met while I was working I was a sugar baby So that's where the story starts What? Yep Yep I heard shoulder baby I don't think that's

Sugar Sugar baby? Yeah You were working as a sugar baby? I was at the time But I met this guy Okay great We became friends I'm sorry I don't I don't know What? Sugar. Sugar baby? Yeah. You're working as a sugar baby? I was at the time, but I met this guy. Okay, great. We became friends.

I'm sorry. I don't know you. What? You were working as a sugar baby? Put two and two together. Oh, I got it. I thought it was some Philly thing. We became friends. I caught feelings. some Philly thing. We became friends.

I caught feelings, confessed my feelings, while drunk at a strip club, as one does. A classy location. He said, no thanks. And then says, I like you as a best friend. I'm going to go date this girl that I met on a cam show. Moved her from Hodong, another state., spent all the money and moved her over, and then goes, they're my primary partner, but you and I have a weird relationship. And my question

is, am I about to join a throuple? And or should I just ghost this friend? And or should I just ghost this friend? Okay, so when this person said, we have a weird relationship, was it positive or negative? I don't know. That's what he told the partner. Oh, okay.

I got the, like, tea after. Do you want to be in a throuple? Do you want to be in a throuple? Do it! Not as... Do it. That was... What? Don't just shout, do it at people.

You know how complicated polyamory is? The spreadsheets alone. His sheets are blue. I feel like if you catch feelings for somebody, and they're like, hey, thanks, but no thanks. You have two roads. You can say either we're going to, I am okay, I can work through my feelings, and we can be friends. Or you're like, you know what, I think I need to, like, sort of move on.

There seems to be a lot of gray areas here. We decided there are four buckets in our relationship from friends to fuck buddies. Sorry. What are the other two buckets? I'm sorry, who's the we? Who just sided? You just sided? There are four buckets? Who's we? Me and the guy. Oh, you guys really talked this through. We talked for like six hours.

Drinking Diet Coke the whole time. Six hours. And he figured out a way to define all the buckets in which he gets to have sex with the two people he wants to have sex with and the relationship with the one person he wants to have sex with and the relationship with the one person he wants to have the relationship with? When you say it like that.

The second bucket, the one that we decided that we would choose is platonic cuddling, which sounds really bad. There's the no's emanating from this. No! It's like you were about to fall in a volcano i love that there's a whole bucket that's like friends but also but just cuddling not even just oh we're just cuddling okay i know that's an inappropriate question i have so many i won't can i here's my my serious reaction to this is, I feel like a lot of times, polycule, polyamory, thruple, not thruple,

it's like, it's actually like a red herring over, like a kind of like an exciting and avant-garde way to describe people struggling with like complicated feelings. And in this case, it sounds like you really wanted to date this person and be this person's primary person. They said no to that and have offered you this. And if you want to have that kind of relationship

because you really want it, whatever it's called, fine. Whatever buckets you've decided you're going to live in, fine. But if what you're doing is accepting less from someone because that's all they're willing to offer and that's all what you're deciding you're worth, it doesn't really matter that we now have new terms for it,

is what my honest reaction is to it. Can I do a really quick one? Brian, you want to do one? Yeah. All right, let's leave with it. And thank you. And Godspeed and choose happiness. Brian, what's yours? It'll be really quick. Do I, you want to do one? Yeah. All right, let's leave with that. And thank you. And Godspeed and choose happiness.

Brian, what's yours? It'll be really quick. Do I have an ex here tonight? Okay, I'm pissed. I invited my ex here and she said she was going to come. And then she stopped

replying to my text and now she's not here. Fuck her! Call her right now. Pull your phone out. Call her. Yeah, that's a really good idea, Eric.

Way to ask. her right now. Pull your phone out. Call her. Yeah, that's a really good idea, Eric. Where you at? Yes. How many buckets do you think are in your average relationship? How many buckets are in the relationship? How many relationships are there for... How many buckets per? Or how many relationships are there How many buckets per or how many relationships per This is a math problem now

I hear it's ringing I feel like there's Between every bucket is another bucket in a sense Truth Preach She didn't pick up Brian what do you want to do Well I guess I'm blowing up her spot right now

So that's good enough. All right, we did it. Cool. Yeah, what's her full name? Eric, any final thoughts on love? You know, it is so, you know, you can put your love in so many buckets, but at the end of the day,

at the end of the day, you want to make sure that you are full. That was, we all agree, beautiful. Thank you so much, Eric. The book is Congratulations, the Best is Over. It comes out next month and it's awesome. Buy it at a non-billionaire owned entity near you. When we come back, we eat some shit and talk some shit don't go anywhere

this is love it or leave it and there's more on the way and we're back please welcome to the stage, Philadelphia's own, the hilarious hometown, Mary Brzezinski. Thank you.

How are you? I'm good, I'm good. Thanks for being here. Thanks for the sandwiches. So, before we get to the sandwich, here's my question for you. What is something that people at home would be surprised to learn about Philly? I think, honestly, I'm shocked daily when I see that people are kind and generous and loyal and not the monsters that we're made out to be.

Yeah. Yeah. And could you try saying that while at the top of a light pole? Yeah. Yeah. Could you try saying that while at the top of a light pole? Oh my god. I saw that for the first time ever since I've lived in Philly now 21 years and I will say

that it was tough to watch. Oh boy. The Italian Market Festival. Some people, I honestly, it has to leave a scar. I visited Philadelphia. I was here because Samir, are you out there?

Samir, yeah! Samir, yeah! MD! Samir, MD? Yeah, you know him. Someone over there knows you. The point is, we accidentally booked the trip Super Bowl weekend. And while I believe

your precious eagles were in the tournament. And walking down the streets the way they were putting up barricades and blocking the doors, you'd think it was about to be the Battle of Britain. Yes. It was like sandbagging Notre Dame. You know what I mean?

Yes. It gives me hard nipples. Like when I see the barricades go up, I'm like, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. So, well, we hope you brought your appetite because we're going to find out in a game we're calling Philly Cheese Takes. That's where we talk, serve up, I serve you takes about Philadelphia that you react to

that are very hot. Plus, we're going to try some classic Philly cuisine. Nice. So, I don't know what we, how do, what are the, what do we have? We have cheesesteaks from Joe's. D'Nicks was close. So we have a similar sandwich. And ice cream from Bassett's. Because Richard at the market said to get it.

I've never met a meat and bread item that I haven't fallen in love with. Shall we start with the cheesesteak? I think we'll be okay. Yeah. I want you'll be okay. Yeah. I want you to know something. I skipped dinner for this. So, we have a cheesesteak,

and here's what I love about Philadelphia, and I'll tell you. It's that the sandwiches are wet in a good way. I see you got the one-biters. You just do it right here. I mean, it's hard to be mad at anything with this many carbs and this much fat, honestly. Here's my first Philadelphia hot take,

or Philadelphia cheese take. Here's my first Philadelphia cheese take. Pennsylvania still doesn't have legal weed, and I think that's a good thing. Combining marijuana with Philly's regional cuisine would have people dropping dead in the street. Agree or disagree? Agree a million percent.

Myself included, yes. This show's been amazing. I've been watching from the back and very inspirational and human interest and lovely. And I'm like, I'm just going to face fuck this sandwich for a few minutes. All right. All right, that's the Philly cheesesteak.

What a great, it is great. What do you mean it's not good? Who said that? Get out of here. How dare you? What? It's from, they're from Delaware or the sandwich is from Delaware? You's from... They're from Delaware or the sandwich is from Delaware?

You're from Canada? What do you know from food? Just like, oh, that's not as good as... That's not as good as beaver served with fries with gravy. You, you... You poutine-eating freaks.

We can make fun of ourselves. You don't come down here and talk about us. This is America, goddammit. We'll shoot you. All right, we've got next up. Put that on the Statue of Liberty. This is America, goddammit. And we'll shoot you.

So we've got a roast pork sandwich with broccoli rabe. You'd never think putting that on a sandwich would work. I mean, I'm not mad at it. Oh, fuck yeah. I don't want to make it weird, but I'm taking that home with me.

I'm definitely... And what about the sandwich? I mean... No, I made it weird. Yeah. You know what I love about Philadelphia? Everything! Everything, sure.

Yes. But especially... I've said this before. First of all, I love your energy. But also, I like that it's a sweatpants town. Yes. Like L.A., but a sandwich town like New York. Yes.

That's cool as hell. It is. I would say sweatpants or pajama pants. Both are welcome everywhere in Philadelphia. Next take. Philly sports fans could care a little more if you ask me. Where's the passion? I mean, I know.

So when you were in town for the Super Bowl, were you welcomed with open arms? There's no day of the year where this city does anything with open arms. I don't know. When they climb those poles, those arms are open. It's pretty... Even at the hotels, you basically check in yourself.

Oh, you're here? And to be clear, I love it. It took me a few years to get there, to feel the love, because I've been here, like, 21 years, but the first year I lived here, I remember going into a CVS in South Philly, and the lady, like, looked at me, she's like,

where are you from, doll face? I was like, listen, I love you too. And now we're best friends. It's fun. Next take. Yes. They shouldn't have fixed that highway so quick. I gotta be honest,

they gave it a month before I rolled over it myself. You know what I mean? It's like, I'll get the vaccine, but not on the first day. You know? No. It's like Indiana Jones.

You let a couple people go over the wooden slats, then you go. Yeah. You know? Right in the middle of the pack. That's where Mary stands. Yes. But I will say, here in Pennsylvania,

I just want to say, Josh Shapiro. Come on. I'm a huge fan. Yes. He fixed that highway in like, what? What the fuck? Twelve fucking days.

Do you know how long it takes Los Angeles to put in a goddamn fucking bike lane? It was the only... Nothing. Got nothing from that. That was just loud... I'm on Washington Ave! Nothing. Got nothing from that. That was just loud gibberish. We've talked about this. You've got to be confident. You've got to be right.

You've got to be articulate. Yeah. I'm on Washington Ave! I'm on Washington Ave! I'm on Washington Ave! I'm on Washington Ave! I'm on Washington Ave! Still don't have bike lanes.

I'm on Washington Ave! I'm on Washington Ave! Oh. You know what? That's my fault. Thank you, sir. And I'm so sorry to hear about your specific road where you would like a bike lane.

And I'm sure you're right, and I hope you get it. And I have to add, I was actually backstage talking about, I live near Washington Ave, how I can't find any fucking parking because the bike lane's to the east of Broad Street. But I am... Listen. You just put your hand down like you were gathering your thoughts. Like this was the part of the show where you figure out what you're going to tell us.

Hell yeah, it is. Thank you, sir, and I hope you get your bike lane. Now... Don't ride your bike tonight. That was Philly to me. That was all, everything that's been happening. I get it. I do genuinely love it here. Oh, shit.

What is this, from Bassett's at the Reading Terminal Market? Okay. Which one do you want? The one that's, which color do you like? Chocolate or blue?

I did show up wearing a smock, so I really don't give a shit. You know what? It's ice cream. The sandwiches are the thing. It is it's ice cream the sandwiches are the thing it is very good ice cream i have to say i've never had that kind bass basses i know shame and finally mary yes the truth that dare not be spoken oh no

fidel philadelphia is the greatest city in the united states if not the world uh fuck yeah Philadelphia is the greatest city in the United States, if not the world. Fuck yeah. Guys, give it up for Mary. Go to Mary Radzinski to find her. Go to Mary Radzinski to... I can't... Is it... Radzinski.

I can't... It's fucking... Go to maryradzinski.com to find her. Did I get it right? Yeah, it was that Polish joke up front, I think. Where can people go to find your tour dates? maryradzinski.com, it's spelled just like it sounds. Thank you so much.

Mary, thank you so much. This was so great. We come back, the rant wheel hey everybody we are keeping things fresh this fall and moving love it or leave it shows to the studio

same show new location and more cozy intimate experience starting September 7th, we're only making a few tickets available for each show. So please head to cricket.com slash events

to get your tickets before they're sold out. Hey everybody, big news. Pod Save America is adding four more live shows this fall. Members of our subscription community, Friends of the Pod will have first access to presale tickets and the best seats in the house for those shows. That's right, the splash zone.

The Friends of the Pod subscribers presale starts next week on Tuesday, August 22nd through 9 a.m. local on Friday, August 25th. So join Friends of the Pod today to get the presale code. You'll also get bonus content from us, access to a great community on Discord, and so much more. Go to cricket.com slash friends to subscribe

and get those tickets. And we're back. Please welcome back to the stage Sarah, Eric, and Kylie. And Mary. Oh, Mary was supposed to stay. And Mary, come on back. Hi. Everybody find a seat.

Wherever you sit is great. Come on through. Hi, everyone. Welcome back. Hi. Kylie for the first time. What? Oh, yeah.

It's the same shirt, but I have a different deal now, and it's just... I'm normal. Hi, guys. Now it's time for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. Look at this wheel. Oh, how we hate what's on it.

It'll spin, it'll land, and we'll rage. Let's see what's on the wheel this week. We have... The Dumbingdown of America. No, not this week. Oh, yeah, there it is. We have water ices, the Dumbingdown of America, the subway, Oppenheimer,

the guy who greases the lampposts, Barbara Jeep's signs, the Ariana Grande The guy who greases the lampposts. Barbera jeep signs. The Ariana Grande Spongebob guy discourse. Young political staffers complaining about Biden picking Wilmington over Philly for his 2024 headquarters. Very specific. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Oppenheimer, and I'm not going to praise or promote the film.

I want to talk about one specific thing, which is the fact that Jewish Scientist is played by Cillian Murphy. LAUGHTER Cillian Murphy. There's a lot of discourse about whether it's right or wrong, and that's not really my issue. My issue is that David Krumholtz is in the film and he also, he's a Jewish person

and he plays a Jewish scientist and when he's on screen it's like now there's a Jewish scientist there's a guy that brought bagels Cillian Murphy's not bringing bagels anywhere and then I'm thinking well who's involved in the making of this film? Christopher Nolan.

Surely he knows the ins and outs of the differences between Upper East Side and Upper West Side Jews in the 1940s. Oh, he doesn't? I have no more thoughts on Oppenheimer. Oh, here's my thoughts. Yeah, my thoughts. You know, two hours.

Oh, no. I mean, it'd be a cool movie if they didn't figure it out, you know? Oh, it's a dud. Let's spin it again. Stupid. Stupid. It has landed on water ices. Mary, is that your suggestion?

Guilty. Just water ice. Water. Water ice. It has landed on water ice. Yeah. Now, I need to be liked, so this was hard for me. I don't love water ice.

However, I support it. I support it very much so, and my biggest bugaboo with it is the lines when it's like a free water ice day, and it fucks up all the traffic and there's people wandering around and honestly, I think they take days off of work.

I just don't think the water ice is worth all of that effort. Is it just a snow... What are we talking about? Is it a snow cone? So, I mean, it's...

No. Oh, we're not? I'm sure you'll explain how it's different. Looks like shaved... Shaved... What's it? Italian ice. Is it the same thing?

Now I... I'd like to give a different answer for my rant. What are you booing exactly? Is it ice? It's not ice? It has fruit. So they put fruit? Like flavors.

No? Slushy. It's like a slushy. Oh, actual. I just ruined everything. Do you? No one was booing Mary. We all had Mary's slushy. Thank you. They all have your back. Thank you? No one was born married. We all had married.

Thank you. They all have your back. Thank you so much. So, it's a no on snow cones? No. They're not snow

cones? What are... Someone should say get fucked. Listen, I... Maybe it's good, maybe it's... You would think

I would be the one that was the politician in this group. I support everyone. I just want to say that I don't know if it's equal parts laziness or just boredom and patience. I wouldn't stand in line for Taylor Swift tickets, let alone a fucking water ice.

So that's all I'm saying. And that's her opinion you're going to respect. Let's spin it again. It has landed on the subway. That's me. I've prepared some remarks. Now, I am a fan of the subway, which is a controversial position

because our subway, stinky poo-poo. I would put up with 100 people smoking cigarettes on the platform if it meant that the subway would run all night again. It is unconscionable to me that the subway doesn't run all night anymore. We need congressional hearings on that and not the fucking aliens.

You know, like, I know what you're thinking. Oh, there's a night bus. You can take the night bus. I don't want to take the night bus. I'm not a character in Harry Potter. I'm a human being who knows that trans rights are human rights, so let me ride the train. We are a world class city

with aggressively niche mascots and every other city and also John Morgan are trying to clout chase on us and so we should have a world class subway system that runs all night and yes only in two directions. I'm just trying, at 2 a.m. when I leave the bar, to be able to go from middle child to middle child clubhouse. Is that too much task?

And it wasn't always like this. If you know the truth, you remember the days. Back in the day, probably seven, eight years ago, maybe longer. Who knows? It's been a long time. Conrad Benner of Streets Apartments started this online campaign. Big fan of Conrad Benner. He wanted the subways to run all night.

And I believe that any time a hot person has an idea, the government should listen. And they did listen. But they stopped it at some point, probably during the pandemic. I'm going to be controversial. Don't think the pandemic was a great idea. But I think it is time now to bring

all-night subway back. And not only all-night subway, put some art down in the tunnels. Make it look a little nicer. Put some buskers down there. Nobody wants to get off their ass and busk anymore. I don't want any more fair police at the gates. Who cares? Go solve a crime. I don't care. The subway should be free. And you're like, well, Eric, how will I pay for the subway? Go fuck yourself. The subway should be free. We'll figure it out.

The ocean is on fire, okay? So the fewer cars that are on the street, the better. And I say this as someone who drives a hybrid, and you're welcome. In conclusion, I'm just so serious about a 24-hour subway. I'm like the opposite of Bill Pullman doing that speech in Independence Day. I will go quietly into that night. I'm like the opposite of Bill Pullman doing that speech in Independence Day. I will go

quietly into that night. I love the subway so much that I caught the subway here, even though it's 200 degrees outside and I didn't want to show up all sweaty. I walked for seven minutes from the Girard station to the venue because I care about the subway. And that is what we call brave. That was lovely. Thank you. If you're feeling at all hot on your walk between the station and here, there probably was a place to get a water ice.

Water ice. Something to think about. I didn't think of it. The fruit in it. With or without fruit. Some of them have fruit, some of them not. What is water rice? No one actually knows. Let's spin it again. Barbera jeep signs?

Okay. So I have never... This is my first time in Philadelphia, save for an insane fifth-grade field trip that is besides the point. I have been in Philadelphia for 24 hours, and in that time,

I've seen approximately 10,000 Barbara Jeep signs. I, as an outsider, as an alien to Philly, should not be aware of your local Jeep. I should have to live here for a while before I know, oh, where should I get a Jeep? Oh, you know, Gary and Barbera, he's got, maybe they're married or is it Gary

has Barbara Jeeps or is it Gary? Gary? Gary Barbara. Full name. Mary, you know, you know,

you know, Barbara Jeeps. Yeah. It'd be amazing. I know. Yeah, I mean, boy, I guess, right? That's...

Exactly. And that's what I was going to say, is that the signs don't inspire any confidence. For a company that has the wherewithal and the confidence and the faith in their vision to plaster themselves all across my psyche, they should have a little faith in their product. Are we the best?

Boy, I guess. Does not inspire that for me. Do these cars have airbags? Boy, I guess. Let's spin it again. Boy, I guess. Let's spin it again. Boy, I guess. Very specific. It has landed on young political staffers

complaining about Biden picking Wilmington over Philly for his 2024 headquarters. This is yours? Yeah. No. This is yours. I wonder whose this is. I, as a former campaign staffer and a Wilmingtonian,

this is something that really chaps my ass. So, I don't know if folks saw the many articles ahead of Joe Biden announcing that Wilmington would be his campaign headquarters of young political staffers complaining about the prospect of having to live in Wilmington over Philly. Right. And of course, this hard-hitting journalism was in

the outlet known as Politico, unsurprisingly. And for me, let me just say, to create some division in this room, if you are anonymously complaining to Politico about having to live in Wilmington, Delaware to work for the President of the United States, and you probably shouldn't work for the President of the United States. Two, with all due respect and present company included, I don't understand why you would want to live in a city that by its own admission has the worst sports fans in all of human history. A city that would have perpetually greased poles if they could only consistently win sports championships. And I say this as a Philly sports fan.

On the other hand, Wilmington has a moderately successful single-A minor league baseball team where the fans don't riot when we win or lose. We've got affordable... Listen, crapping on Philly pulls very well in Delaware and I'm running for Congress in Delaware oh yeah Wilmington has more affordable rent

we've got a great restaurant scene that doesn't cost an arm and a leg we've got bars where you can actually afford to drink and it's legal to smoke weed I thought you were going to say we've got a great Bars where you can actually afford to drink. And it's legal to smoke weed. I thought you were going to say we got a great restaurant. We... And I'll close...

I'll close to Unite Us All not shitting on Philly, but crapping on young political campaign staffers, with where I started, which is that you are working for the president of the United States, and even if you don't like Wilmington, suck it up, because come 2025, you can move to Navy Yard in Washington, D.C., live amongst former Trump staffers,

and get that consulting gig that this job is just a precursor for. Thank you all very much. Good night. And that's the rant wheel. Everybody, thank you so much to Sarah, Eric, Kylie, and Mary. This was so much fun. When we come back, some live high notes. And we're back.

We are, we have to, we're going to do a couple quick high notes before we hit the road. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? My name is Douglas. Uh-huh. My high note is that my wife, Bethany, won Best Affiliate for her business in Philadelphia Magazine. That's great. How long has she been fracking?

Just kidding. That's great. Thank you. What kind of business is it? Don't you want to promote the business? Oh, it's Blackhound Play Studio in West Philly. Nice. Hey, so a couple of months ago, I got laid off from my job.

And I started my own business. And I started working out in my basement. And I lived there with my husband for like 10 years and we had got a dog right after we started and she's kind of old now and just this week I taught her to sleep on the bed right behind my chair in my basement now that I have my new job down there and for the first time she came over today on her own and sat down and sat next to me. That's so sweet. That's a nice high note. Thank you. Hi, what's your name?

What's your high note? Hello, my name is Chris Muir. My high note is that I'm here. This is my second time seeing you. That's another high note. And I am from Baltimore, which I don't have to say again. By the way, I saw you react to me,

and honestly, just right here, I regretted my joke because of how I felt the energy from you. And I thought, how dare I disrespect such a place? No, we're always disrespected, so I expect that, and I expect to give this type of response. I loved it. So,

I am happy to be here in Philly. I rode the train today. Another high note, you all are competing with Baltimore real hard. Someone stole my half cup of ice water. Definitely my cousin. So that's it. And I appreciate being here, and I appreciate all of the things you do to engage us in the political process. Well, thank you for saying hi.

Do you have a high note? Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm one of the friends of the pod that's always around. the political process. Well, thank you for saying it. Thanks for saying hi. Do you have a hi-no? Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm one of the friends of the pod that's always around. This is Chizzy. He is a veteran PTSD service dog. I was in the Air Force. And he is also a certified therapy dog who worked his first

bank robbery last week. He made sure all of his friends at our bank were okay. And then today he came out and he met all of his friends at our bank were okay. And then today he came out and he met all of the friends of the pod because we all met up. And he is here and he is doing the best job and he takes care of me every day of my life. That's so sweet.

He keeps me alive every day. Well, I'm so glad to meet him. That's so sweet. Hi, what's your name? What's your high note? Hi, my name is Janessa. I got to meet this that's so sweet hi what's your name what's your high note hi my name is Janessa I got to meet this sweet little dog earlier he's wonderful and speaking of our wonderful veterans I came up here to say so I have spent my entire career working for TRICARE and or the VA healthcare system

which is right now VACCN and so much horrible shit gets said about what we do to take care of our veterans and a military health care system. But I have devoted my entire life, as well as the people I know and work with, to make sure that those who have served get the care, the treatment, the respect that they deserve. And I think that that deserves some representation and some acknowledgement because we don't do it enough. And we do a lot in this country and there's so many programs out there to take care of our veterans

and there's so much help out there for those that are suicidal. Please reach out to your VA for help. They are out there to support you. Tri-West, out in the Western Hemisphere. Optum, out in the Eastern regions of the United States. We are all here to support you and the amazing Things that you and your family members have done

Please reach out, please get the help That you deserve, please make sure that You are getting every benefit from This government that you absolutely Have worked your whole life for And please do that, thank you Thank you, thank you Hi, what's your name, what's your high note?

Hi there, my name is Sarah Woodbury and I've been watching you guys for years. You've empowered and inspired me. And last year, in my little town of Mannheim Township in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, I saw extremists on our school board start targeting trans kids. And I'm a mom, and I'm running for school board. That's great. Thank you. That's awesome. Thanks for school board. That's great. Thank you. That's awesome.

Thanks for doing that. That's cool. What's your name? What's your high note? Hi, I am Katie, and my high note is, first off, this is my second time seeing you. Great show.

The first time I saw you, I shared a high note. It was in Towson with the Terrible Mall, if you remember. We do, we talk about it during that high note I shared that I got a conditional pass for my PhD comprehensive exams officially now almost a year later

I have finished all my exams and I'm officially a PhD candidate I remember we talked about why it was conditional about how much work it would take to go from conditional to official. Yes. Congratulations. Yes.

Thank you. What's your name? What's your high note? Hi, my name's Kate. I talked to you at the beginning of COVID about having to postpone my wedding to my husband. Wound up being three times. But my high note is after a couple couple years and a fun IVF journey, we are six weeks away from meeting our little girl.

Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you to the therapy boys. Oh, the therapy boys. You've got to be a therapy boy. What's your name? What's your high note? Hi, I'm Molly.

Today's my 30th birthday. Hey. And it's the guy behind me's birthday in a week. So there. Well, that's not interesting. Well, what's your high note? Mine is my birthday. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Happy birthday. Thank you. You just you gave it to him. I was like, wanted to be about you. Hi, what's your name? What is your high note? Hi, my name is Marianne. This is my first time seeing you. I have, you know, after the Eros tour, I have developed a hobby of making friendship bracelets,

and I brought you two. That's very sweet. That's abrupt. They are Love It or Leave It themed. Oh, that's so cool. Thank you. That's so nice. Thanks.

What's your name? What is your high note? Hi, my name's Amanda. My high note is just usurping this opportunity to say this to you. I listen to every pod on Crooked. I listen to all of it. And my favorite singular line of any podcast

was when talking about Roe v. Wade, you said, when women get angry, we codify human rights into law. When men get angry, they grease the polls in Philadelphia. Alright, that's a great place to leave it. That's perfect. Thanks to everybody who shared

a high note. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. That is our show. Thank you so much to R. Eric Thomas, Mary Rudzinski, Kylie Brakeman, and Sarah McBride. Thank you, Philadelphia. There are 457 days until the 2024 elections.

Have a great night and have a great weekend. Good night, everybody. Love It or Leave It is a Cricket Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer.

And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Pauly Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, Chandler Dean are our writers. Bill Lance is our editor.

Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Kyle Seglin provides audio support. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Tolles, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at www.youtube.com slash at love it or leave it podcast.

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