Lovett or Leave It - Sauvignon Blanc Nationalist

Episode Date: October 25, 2025

This week, Donald Trump takes a wrecking ball to the White House, ICE recruits gasp for breath during a light jog, and Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner re-inks his past. Acclaimed and nearly interchangeable actors Michael Shannon and Allison Tolman grace us with stories about Nuremberg and fake blood gone wrong. Robin Tran joins to give our angelic audience some hellish advice, then we bravely rise to double down on the worst things we love. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada to Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash love it. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash love it. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Left or Leave It. Live at Dynasty Typewriter. We have got a great show for you tonight.

Michael, Shannon is here. He's in a new movie. He's in a new movie. Nuremberg, not a comedy. It's very good. I watched it. It's very good. Allison Tolman is here.

Love Allison Tolman. She's in St. Dennis Medical. Great show. Robin Tran is here. very funny comedian I'm mostly here and then at the end of the show we're each going to share a love

that people love to hate but first let's get into it what a week the east wing of the White House is no more tonight sources tell ABC News President Trump is aiming to tear down the entire east wing of the White House

by this coming weekend to make way for his new ballroom. This is a metaphor, Trump yelled over the din of construction. Not to get sentimental about the White House, but this hurts to watch. There's so much history being lost. I mean, this is the building that inspired my one-season sitcom. So how did we get here? I remember when the idea of Donald Trump tearing down the White House

to make way for a gaudy ballroom, was a joke. In fact, I helped write it. Say what you will about Mr. Trump. He certainly would bring some change to the White House. Let's see what we've got up there. How did we know? So how did we get here? Like a commercial plane crash or that time you accidentally shit in your car. It wasn't just one mistake that led us here. It was a cascade of failures.

Economic dislocation, the decline of community, the dismantling of unions and civil rights legislation, deindustrialization, phones with no home button, depraved elites, craven politicians, right-wing propaganda, Hannah Gadsby's Ninnett, moneyed interest, alienation and radicalization online, Disney adults, moral decay. classic bigotries, that imagine video,

the ways in which nationalized and globalized society created a deficit in meaning and dignity that consumerism could not close. But I want to add another cause that gets short shrift because it seems less sophisticated. These people are fucking losers. In their hearts and souls, they are losers, and they're mad they're losers,

and they have no one to blame but themselves, and that is fundamentally unsatisfying. This week, we learned more about Paul and Grosia, Trump's nominee to lead the Office of Special Counsel after Politico reported that he had sent racist texts in a separate and new, cursed Republican group chat. At least the only group chat Rudy Giuliani is in is with several uncoordinated scammers

all pretending to be different Ukrainian women. Choose me, Rudy, choose me. No, choose me. In January of last year, In Grasio wrote in the chat, MLK Jr. was the night. 1960s George Floyd and his holiday should be ended and tossed

into the seventh circle of hell where it belongs. A big Dante guy, huh? Because you also like to watch? Look at Dante and Virgil there. Let's punch in on those two. A couple of fucking perves. Look at that.

And look this bat guy that's also with a painting. Who's that guy? The fuck. Jesus Christ replied another participant in the Ingrosia chat. That participant? The Atlantic's Jeffrey Goldberg. A month earlier, Ingrosia whipped out an Italian slur for black people and said,

from Kwanza to MLK Junior Day to Black History Month to Juneteenth, every single one needs to be eviscerated. Do you know how racist you've got to be? To want to see paid federal holidays come off the board? unless you're trying to run a business. And then July 4th lands on a Wednesday and it blows the whole fucking week in February of 2024.

Ingrosia wrote of then-president Vivek Ramoswamy never trust a Chinaman or Indian, never. And I know what you're thinking. Is that Pirates of Penzance? It's not. Grasia's lawyer said in a statement that the text could be manipulated or out of context, but if they are authentic,

they're clearly self-deprecating and satirical. A dry wit, that Pauline Grascia, very dry. A Sauvignon Blanc Nationalist, if you will. That's a great joke. Salvinan Blanc Nationalist is a fucking great joke. I'm not saying you didn't laugh the right amount. It got what it deserved. A great joke doesn't need to get a great laugh.

In my theory. But then on Tuesday, Ingracia backed out of his confirmation hearing, writing on social media, unfortunately, I do not have enough Republican votes at this time. This, in classic, loser fashion, after his mother went to Congress on his behalf. Yes, Ingracia's mom went to Jamie Raskin and Robert Garcia's office in person this summer to confront them after they expressed grave concerns about Ingracia's close association with anti-Semitic extremist. But how can Ingracia be anti-Semitic when his mother is, at the very least, spiritually Jewish?

It's no wonder these guys seek hierarchies that grant status by default. It's why the Trump administration declares war on DEI while filling virtually every leadership position with a bunch of 40th percentile whites. Like defense secretary and guy who is fine to drive, Pete Hengseth, who, according to the conservative Washington Times, has lost the trust and respect of military leaders. But he's gained something even more.

valuable, their contempt. The turning point was when Hegset decided to summon hundreds of generals and admirals from around the world to Quantico for an indulgent and pointless pep rally, extremely insecure behavior, in which he talked about appearance and facial hair. It's like that time in college where you drove four and a half hours to Bowden to see your boyfriend perform in his a cappella group, Treble in Paradise, and then watching him sing, you immediately got the ick. Pentagon sources also describe chaos that's weakening the military, said one officer, we are bleeding talent, talented generals, and flag officers for what appears to be the opposite of a meritocracy.

Bad for our national security, great for our newest four-star general, a gas station attendant who yelled, you got this, bro, while Hegg Seth was throwing up next to you, but for some reason not in a trash can. Speaking of wanting to puke, let's talk about OMB director and guy who doesn't understand why this trolley situation is being described as a problem, Russ vote. What happens if Moby eats pork after midnight? Zatea reported on Tuesday that during his 2024 campaign, Trump was obsessed with getting vote laid after his recent divorce and bragged about all the pussy vote would get with Trump as his wingman.

I'm also single, I'm also single boss. I can know what boys to do. I'm also single boss, said Paul and Gracia, while checking to see if anybody left a little shrimp in those tails. Sometimes people turn them. They leave a lot of good meat in those shrimp, said Paul and Clairiam, said Paul and Gracia. But it all makes sense.

Vote was one of the architects of Project 2025, and he's a smart guy. But that wouldn't be enough. He could only dismantle the government with this level of enthusiasm in vitriol with the power of divorced guy energy. After all, if you love one person, you love the whole world.

If your marriage falls apart, you destroy USAID. Speaking of disgusting shit, over the weekend, Trump posted an AI video in which he wears a crown, flies a fighter jet, and dumps what sure looks like poop on Saturdays no king protests.

You know, just like a king. Almost every point about this absurd video has been made, but I want to add one more. This is content for losers. if you get off on watching an AI video of Trump literally dumping on liberals your life is not a rich one filled with friendships and bowling and shared apps

nobody who gets spinach dip for the table found this funny this is for people that order spinach dip to their home to eat alone and yes I do that and in fact it's because I have the soul of a loser and the lived experience of a loser that I feel I can speak on this

remember earlier when I told what sounded like a true story about travel to see my boyfriend's a cappella group in college, I did not have a boyfriend. I had no one. No one from the acapella group would sleep with me. Please, I'm very successful. Exactly what a fucking loser would say.

The point is, I didn't understand until we experienced it, just how much the dangers of fascism as a political enterprise mirror the worst qualities of the people who, implemented. Domination and insularity and vengeance, a kind of guiltless, proud selfishness. It is a movement for the insecure, for people unable or unwilling to process their private hurts and shames and furies, for those whose talents didn't match their ambitions. And I'm not talking about voters. I'm talking about the functionaries and leaders and dedicants. It's a movement of losers. And yes, it calls upon those feelings and qualities

in all of us. And it spreads because we all have that in us and it can be fed. But while we are governed by losers, we are not a nation of losers, not yet. Look at how many people turned out at No Kings. Are some of us annoying and pedantic? Yes. Are some of our signs cringe? No, all of our signs are cringe. But what is cringe in defense of democracy,

if not someone who cares too much and wants too much for you to know how much they care? The price of liberty is eternal cringe. Sure. There's no equivalent on their side. They just don't have a guess. Their side couldn't hang a single puny Mike Pence. Just look at the issues they've had with ICE recruitment. Despite $75 billion in new funding, student loan forgiveness and a $50,000 signing bonus

and advertisements blanketing the airwaves, according to the Atlantic, one-third of ICE applicants can't pass the physical exam, which consists of 15 push-ups, 32 sit-ups, and running one and a half miles in 14 minutes. And sure, in the game, you can run so fast, even while fully equipped. But to tackle someone for speaking Spanish outside of Home Depot, you'll need to use your actual arms and legs.

And even though you wore an underarmor T-shirt to your niece's baptism, you haven't done cardio since fucking high school. And you're going to have to chase people who have been doing manual labor outside for 20 years. There's an entire digital manosphere built around selling a conservative idea to masculinity back to

conservative men. Meanwhile, any of these guys would lose a foot race to the average urban liberal who got up at 5 a.m. and hauled her ass to Pilates before a pre-work networking coffee. Just as fascism mirrors the flaws in people, democracy calls upon their opposite. Collaboration over domination,

curiosity over inwardness, grace over revenge, seeing in the stranger or soul just like yours. And we fail at practicing these virtues, even when we're reaching for them. But at our best, we marshal those qualities, which are just as much a part of us. There are far more bloodless and tactical ways to talk about politics right now. But these are ultimately the lines of battle. Losers on one side, underdogs on the other. Which brings me to Graham Platner. Platner is the progressive oyster farmer and veteran who's running for Senate in Maine in a primary against the sitting

governor Janet Mills. And he's been in a massive controversy over his old Reddit post and a tattoo he got while serving in the Marines. And I think it's fair to say that if you begin the week with an apology for minimizing sexual assault in the military and end the week

with an apology for calling the British gay and in between do a shirtless interview to prove you've covered up your Nazi tattoo, it's not a great week for your campaign.

In an interview with Tommy on Ponce of America, Platner talked about why someone would post that kind of shit on the internet in the first place. I do think.

explaining the fact that I struggled with alienation, isolation, and the effects of PTSD after my military service. And that's why I was on the internet, frankly, getting in fights with people and shit posting. And it took about a year and a half, two years for me to settle back into, frankly, society. And I'm lucky. I'm immensely lucky that I come from a small town,

that I move back to a small town, that I'm very connected with my neighbors of my community and my family. I got to meet my wife. I mean, like, life got good. There must be a way of pulling men out of a cynical downward spiral that doesn't hinge on them getting wives, and I believe we will find it.

But until then, keep up the great work, ladies. In addition to those posts, it also came to light that Platner had a chest tattoo of a very specific skull and crossbones that was a symbol of the SS. but let ye without Nazi tattoos cast the first stone

it's so tricky you think you're just getting a normal skull and crossbones then you accidentally get one that represents death Plattenor said he had no idea he'd gotten a Nazi tattoo until very recently saying in a statement it was not until I started hearing from reporters

and DC insiders that I realized that this tattoo resembled a Nazi symbol I absolutely would not have gone through life having this on my chest if I knew that, and to insinuate that I did, is disgusting. Now, I don't know if it's fair to call the insinuation disgusting. It might be wrong. I hope it's wrong.

But if you have a Nazi symbol on your chest for many years, it's a little bit dancing until proven innocent. You know what I'm saying? It's just hard to claim that you did not see this coming. Stop it. By Wednesday, Platterner had gotten a tattoo covered up with a Celtic design, and as is only fair,

it does suck. Look, it is... It's totally reasonable to argue that Janet Mills is a better choice to take on Susan Collins. She's proven, reliable, less risky. For example, her skull and crossbones tattoo is clearly an homage to Garfield's Halloween adventure. And maybe Platner's not the right guy.

Maybe his story doesn't hold up. Maybe there's a second worst butt-cheek tattoo we can't even conceive of yet. Well, that would make Paul and Gracia say, oof, too much. There's plenty of time to sort out the politics. The primaries in June. Trump will be watching the results roll in from his completed gold ballroom, or more likely, a giant pit the ballroom collapsed into

because it was not built to code. But what's not fair to me is to reflexively cast someone out or be unwilling to take an honest look at who he is now and how he got there. Doesn't mean every apology is sincere. Doesn't mean you have to accept every sincere apology, but at the very least, we ought to listen. Again, not trying to make excuses. It was me.

I did it. And the things that I said that I did... I mean, there are things that I said. There are words that I use that I'm utterly horrified by. And I'm not blaming anybody else. Look at me. Last week, I said the R word on this very show

because it was inside of a joke in which it made sense and because Hallie dared me to do it. And now here we are a week later. And I'm back to saying R word because I listened and I don't want to get yelled at again. Should Platner be a senator? I don't know. But if we're trying to build a movement that welcomes people,

including people who have gone down dark roads and found their way back, then we actually have to do that. It's not that hard to be consistent. We ought to hold people accountable for their words and actions and have enough grace to give people a chance to change. That depends on what Graham Platner does,

and it depends on what we do. Like how we've all forgiven, Hallie, for using the R word so much around the office. But she's clearly sorry. She even covered up that R-word tattoo. Yeah, now it's like a cartoon character named Captain Batardo. I don't know that. Is that good enough?

This is America. No one is born a loser. Anyone can become a loser. And inside of every loser is a winner waiting to buy spinach tip for the fucking table. All right. And speaking of winners, coming up next, it's Michael Shannon and Allison Tolman. Hey, don't go anywhere. there's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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On screen, they couldn't be more different. In real life, they share one similarity. They're my first guest of the evening. Please welcome to stage, the wonderful Michael Shannon, and the phenomenal Allison Tolman. Thanks for being here. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.

Good to see you. Good to see you, too. Hi, everybody. Welcome to both of you. Wow. Two of my, two incredible actions. Thank you. Such different vibes in your roles, you know?

Between us? Yeah. That's true. Have you ever... I did a show with a talking dog for a while. Have you done one of those? No, I just had it talking dog. It wasn't a show.

Just life. Damn. I would like to see you as a kind-hearted and sweet nurse trying to have it all. I'd like to see you prosecute the Nazis at Nuremberg, huh? I'm up for it. I'm going to start with tattoos. check them all.

Yeah, got to check them all. They got to check all the tattoos. Yeah. It's be part of our screening process for candidates from this point forward. So, Michael, you're in Nuremberg, which comes out on November 7th. I've watched it, and I was really moved by it. And I'm curious what led you to want to do it. Like, what about Robert Jackson as a person or about the story?

Well, I didn't know anything about Robert Jackson. I had never even heard of him. So when I read the script, I, yeah, I was a little embarrassed that I didn't know more about how this came to be, how the trials came to be. And it seemed like an important story that I assume a lot of people don't know much about it. And so I figured it would be worth telling. So Robert Jackson was a Supreme Court justice. He was one of the people that dissented in Korematsu. He was one of the nine votes in Brown v. Board of Education.

But in between, he took a leave of absence from the Supreme Court to go do the prosecutions at Nuremberg, which is a sort of fascinating thing for a Supreme Court justice to do. He also served in the Supreme Court even though he had a heart attack and was sort of lying in the hospital and he had to leave the hospital to be the ninth vote in Brown v. Board of Education. part of a long tradition in this country of Supreme Court justices not leaving soon enough. To what could you be referring? And before you played,

you've also played General Zod and you've played Supreme Court Justice, Robert Jackson. Who did you know about more before? Be honest, please. Well, I only knew about General Zod because I had seen Terrence stamps portrayal in the original

film series. Yeah, Terran. So that's what I knew about that. But I was, I'm not a big, I was never a big comic book collector as a kid, so I didn't know that much about him.

But if you saw two hours of Terrence doing the role, you seem to, it seems like you knew more about Zod. True. Yeah, well, I mean, I didn't... To return to the question, sorry to... Yeah, no, I mean, you're trying to humiliate me in front of all these people. This is a really a leading question.

Jesus Christ. Answer the question. You played a lawyer who prosecuted the Nazis. Isn't that... I'm not that bad. You're not under oath. You can lie, Michael. Well, I, when I was... I mean, frankly, one of the things I appreciate about my job is that, like,

when I was a kid going to school, I didn't really find history that interesting, but it was partially because of the way it was presented, you know, in these really dull textbooks. And when you're acting and you get an assignment like this, you dive into these historical situations in a much more four-dimensional way where you're actually trying to imagine what it was like to be these people and do the things that they did.

And so I've actually learned a lot from doing what I do. Alison, do you feel bad at all that St. Dennis Medical doesn't do anything to kind of dive into the nature of evil and the ways in which the machinery of bureaucracy

and hatred can be combined to do unspeakable horror for which there is truly no valid just punishment? No. But it's a fun, goofy show. Listen, it's a loving, heartwarming show.

Do you think, I mean, I think that we do get a little into, hey, our health care system is not great, which is good. But not a lot about Nazis in that. No, no. From what I've seen. I'm going to be honest, almost no Nazis in season two. You have to tune in to find out. Russell Crowe plays a Nazi.

Yeah. Hey, there's something funny about Russell Crow I wanted to ask you about. He seems to have an implacable. his eye are in film to play a big fat guy and go he does that a lot I love it when he does it I'm not as familiar

with his filmography as you are I wasn't aware of that but you confront him he plays he plays uh is it he plays Gurrey or Goebrils Guring and you confront him in it I do that must have fun I killed him

in Man of Steel oh my God of course of course you That was a little bit more of an affront. It's really facing back off again. Wow. Yeah, I really got it out for him. I didn't even make that connection. That's so funny.

You kill him in Man of Steel, and then you come back and you prosecute him as a Nazi. What are you going to do to get him next? Maybe it could be in space. Allison, would that be something? Yes. I understand my role here. Alice in season one episode 11 of St. Dennis,

medical workers are pressure to upsell patients on non-critical procedures. See, topical Nazis. It's a very funny show, but you are diving into the actual realities of healthcare. And was there ways in which that, like, why did you want to do this? Like, was there anything personal to you about it?

Yeah, when I got the script, I'd actually just spent, like, the longest stint of my life in the hospital system. My dad had been sick for a few weeks, and I'd gone back to Texas to be there while he was in the hospital. He's better now. Thank you.

Way to go, Dave. But, yeah, so I kind of got the script at a time when I just had been spending some time in that space and was really, like, thankful to the professionals who took care of him. And also, when my dad was sick, my mom and I could only watch sitcoms. Like, that's all she could, like, stomach

at the end of the day. And I hadn't been looking for a sitcom. I was trying to get back to Fargo since I shot Fargo. I was like, prestige TV is where it's at. And then I got this, this sitcom script. And I was like, I think this is what I need to be doing right now. I think this is where I want to spend my energy is just like making something that feels good at the end of the day for people to like let wash over them.

Because things are rough. You are. But Nazi movies are great, too. Hey, hey. So great. Really great. Michael, don't, don't let that get to you. You do such great work.

because I don't want you to leave your thinking that we don't think that. That's not what I'm thinking. You're an amazing actor. Even if your stuff doesn't do what her stuff does. Yeah. Her stuff does something

that your stuff doesn't, but your stuff does it. No, I've done things that wash over people. I will say, I just rewatch Knives Out the other day and you're very funny in Knives Out. Oh, yeah.

See? Yeah. Very funny. You were in bad voice. too. Yeah, I was in Kangaroo Jack too. You want to

fucking talk about that? Now I'm a little scared. That's so cool. Michael Shannon being intense with me and I love it. So you also directed a film

for the first time. I did. And it just came out this year. Can you just talk about that? And why did you want to do that movie? I watched this film. Oh, Eric Leroux. I loved this film

Oh thank you Allison Yeah Judy was so great in that Yeah and she's something She's wonderful Allison Pill Allison Pill Yes please talk about your movie

But I did I did see it I forgot you directed Thanks for watching it Yeah absolutely Oh yeah well It was written by So I belong to a theater company In Chicago

And Oh yeah it's Chicago Red Orkid Theater And we have a playwright In our company Brett Nevue And we've done a ton of his plays over the years. And this, Eric Leroux, started out as a play that we did in 2002.

And it's a play about the parents of a boy who commits a school shooting. And then, you know, 20 years later, Brett hands me, he says, oh, I've written a screenplay of it. And I'm sitting there reading it and thinking, this damn thing is relevant as it was. 20 years ago that's really unfortunate so it's like nothing has changed so I thought well let's get it out there and I didn't want to play any one of the parts so much as kind of be a part of creating the whole community because I loved all the characters so much and yeah so that's why I decided to directed.

So there's something interesting to me that happens when, like, renowned actors become directors, which is, like, I think acting gets short shrift as, people know it's a magical and amazing talent, but it's not seen as like a hard skill in the same way being a cinematographer is or being an editor is. And yet, it's great actors that have often become a lot of great. directors you see that over and over again and i'm curious like what like what you think an actor understands about directing a movie that maybe others wouldn't oh well that's interesting yeah um well first of all i i don't know the answer to that question in in totality i mean i i just did my

one little movie uh i don't even know if i'll make another one but i think one One thing that was very important to me is because the story we were telling and the subject matter was so kind of scary and dark and difficult, I wanted the actors to feel very safe when they were on set. And I don't think that's something that happens a lot of times when you're at work, that people really take into consideration just how terrified all the actors are. most actors are in some state of if not terror at least in insane self-doubt like all the time so um like i for me it's it's a very there's a there's a common misperception of directing

i think is kind of an authoritarian you know dictatorial position where you're just telling people what to do all the time and for me i i i didn't care of anybody did what I told them to do. I just wanted to help them. Like, are you okay? Do you have a question? Is there anything? Do you want a cup of coffee? I want you to feel okay, like, because I know this is really hard. So I guess that was a long way of saying empathy. Like, I have a lot of empathy for what they're trying to do, you know. Allison, do you find your scared all the time? I find that I think that good acting is always really vulnerable work,

which I think, yeah, can be very scary. And I think that can exist in like any medium. You can be like doing good work that's really vulnerable because you're doing a gag where you're like throwing yourself on the ground or you're trying like an improv line that you didn't get, you know, vetted by any writers or you're doing what, you know, Judy Greer did in your film and just like kind of ripping yourself open

for the course of, you know, an hour and a half. Yeah, it just seems like a, I always feel for actors because it does, it's such a hard thing. And then it's totally out of your hands once you're done. You have no idea what's going to be used. It's so, it is really truly, especially if you come from the theater, which both of us come from the theater, where you really are like, it's this little package deal. You rehearse and you have it all down and then you do a little performance and you have

full control over and knowledge of like what happened that night. and when on film you just sort of surrender it over and you have no idea how it'll edit how it'll fall out how it'll come together and how it'll play it's very very strange it's very different so Michael you do like a it's like a 20 or 25 minutes scene

like 20 pages of dialogue with Russell Crow like you did it with no cuts you just did the scene all in one shot how does that go yeah I mean it's the final you know I have him on the stand and he goes you can't handle the dust truth That's true.

He says, Ach, ach, ach, achin. I can't wait to see this movie. It's going to be so good. I don't understand. You don't, this is it. Speak in English. We won, fucking asshole.

I'm quoting it, but I don't know the rest. No. I mean, you know it as well as I did. There was a lot of improv. That's nice they kept it loose. Yeah, yeah. They had scheduled the scene to be shot over three days and the idea being that it was too long and they do the first part and then

the second part and the third part and Russell and I both agreed that that sounded like a really shitty idea so we we said can we just do the whole thing and and then and we wound up saving the production a couple of shooting days which the director was very grateful for you get a little taste to that get your beat bracket that's that's real that's money in there pockets you don't know why they they do that i mean i guess there are some people that have never done stage and so maybe the the idea of learning so much dialogue uh throws them off but i mean i've i've been learning entire plays for a long time so i can i can handle even 20 pages of dialogue and i notice russell crow as goring doesn't do a lot of singing in the film

Is that a response to the criticism? No, see, this goes to Allison's earlier point. He did do a lot of singing. You just didn't get to see it. It all wound up on the cutting field. And that kind of vulnerability, him putting himself out there. Deeply vulnerable work, John. And then nobody's even going to see it.

We have no control over the end product. He and Rudolph has to do the cell block tango cut from the fucking film. Time. Can you imagine the lyrics they wrote for that? A deeply disturbing. they had it coming. That's the lyric of the song I mentioned. Follow the thought to its logical conclusion.

Ooh, in your own goddamn heads. I'm so sorry for that, Michael Shannon. It's okay. It's vicious. You should put like some barbed wire up here or something. Does it start throwing beer pans like at a honky tongue? They forget their place. Michael, you're having fun on this show?

I am. Oh, thank God. Allison, how are you doing? I mean, I'll never do it again. I'll come back if Michael comes back. We're a team. Where's the handcuffs? We're only doing this together for now on.

I love that. That was beautiful. And I don't want to spoil the end of Nuremberg, but we get them. That's cool, right? Not all of them, right? I mean, you know what I mean? Yeah, well. You know what I mean, John? That's a good point.

I guess the thesis of the film that if we try them here, that'll be that. Hmm. But did you take anything away from playing Robert Jackson once you got to know him because you were preparing for the role? Take anything away. Like, you know, you learn about this guy to play him. Yeah. Well, I mean, I just think he's, you know, a role model.

You know, something I learned is I don't even think he went to law school. no he like a apprentice he was like an apprentice yeah yeah and and uh i think there's it's very easy nowadays to feel like uh there's nothing you can do like oh geez there's all this terrible stuff going on but there's nothing i can do about it but this was a guy who never did that he always said no there there is something i can do and i'm going to do it and you know he met tremendous resistance to his notion of the of the trials.

Because most everybody in the all branches of government just said well if you catch a Nazi you just shoot him and kill him and that's the end of it. And he said no that's not the right way to go about it. And yeah I just

really admire him. I got to play two significant American Americans because I also of this death by lightning thing coming out where I play President James Garfield. Another example of someone who's actually

living by the dictum that if you're present or if you're in the Supreme Court or you're a public servant, you're a civil servant. It doesn't mean you have all the power or you're the king. You're actually more of a servant than you would be

if you're just some person walking down the street minding their own business. So Allison, you don't prosecute you as we said any Nazis in the show but not yet no but there is uh we haven't read the finale yet though so it's possible that's coming but there'll be a real left turn but i'm looking forward to it but there are needles about yes there's like there's like there's like it's a real you know like you're you're like people are pretending to be doctors left and right doing chest compressions and so forth yeah we're doing real nurse stuff in there wait we can curse real nurse shit in there

uh you know because that can go wrong on you can't it yeah we had uh we had uh we had uh we We had a blood visual effects go wrong just this season. November 3rd, tune in to find out why. But yeah, we had a blood gag where I had to get sort of was in a trauma room. I had to get sprayed with blood, but in a very, it had to be like right here for reasons. You'll find out about on November 3rd. But so they have like a little pump and a thing where there's like fake blood in there and they squeeze it at the right time and like they did.

it and it didn't go in the right place and then they were like oh we're going to move it like this and alison you have to like lean at this angle and i was like great and they did it again and it didn't go in the right place and they were like okay we're going to add a little bit more we're going to move it up we're going to do it and i was like okay and they're like you got to stand at this angle and i was like got it and i'm like saying medical terms while i'm doing all these things you know and then they did it and it went just right in my face like like carry like the end of the descent and we're mid-scene and all of all of my co-stars are there

and we all have a split second where we're like and then we're all like echocardiogram and 5C we like just dove right back into it because no one called cut so I'm just like drip I'm like this is absolutely unusable there's no way there's no way they can use it there's I mean I look

like I'm in a horror film it's so gory you know Michael you play James Garfield and in a sense he was in a medical mishap because he got shot but he might have lived had the doctors not, you know, jam their fingers in there. I mean, like, up, the humors are out of whack,

bring in the leeches, that kind of thing. Well, it's pretty insane to think in the late 1800s, many doctors in America still didn't believe that germs existed. A lot of our cabinet secretaries are believing it less and less.

I could have saved him, I think. My character could have saved your character. I'm pretty sure. I mean, Yeah, it's mind-boggling. And it's funny because we shot the whole thing in Budapest, which is where one of the fellows who discovered germs and hygiene was from, Simulvice. It was Joseph Lister and this guy Simulvice.

Why don't we have Simulvicerine? That's not fair. What the fuck, man? They were pasteurized, Listerine. But that's all your. European, yeah, over here in America, we're like, no, no germs, no germs. We're just a very clean country. Yeah, yeah.

Obviously. Michael Shannon, Alison Tolman, thank you so much. Thank you. That was really fun. Thank you to Michael Shannon for being here. Everybody, go check out New York. Genuinely, a moving, a very timely film. We'll be right back.

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B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash love it. Code love it at checkout. And we're back. Hi, Allison. Hi, again. Thanks for being here. Absolutely. Joining us now. Our next guest is considered

the Michael Shannon of trans stand-up comedy. Please welcome to the stage with hilarious Robin Tran. Hi, good to see you. Thanks for being here. Thanks for having me. Yeah, equal status

is Michael Shannon, you know. I can't wait to find out what I'm the Michael Shannon of. amount of fame, me and Michael Shannon, right? I think so. Robin, you have a podcast called Trans Talk. Yes. The description of which reads, comedian Robin Tran thinks that it's absurd when comedians call themselves modern-day philosophers unless she's talking about herself.

It's true. Yeah, I am pretty... I'm arrogant and only in comedy and podcasting. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I do it everywhere. Yeah. How's that working out for you? It's okay. But is he happy? Yeah. And you...

Uh-oh. And very little about Nuremberg and your work. Well, you haven't seen my stand-up yet. Yeah, the new... No, I have no jokes about Nuremberg and my stand-up. Not yet. Her new special is completely about Nuremberg trials. She was a weird choice.

It feels like watching it is what... All right, no, I'm sorry. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Sorry. I'm sorry. You guys wouldn't watch the Nuremberg and... trials 24-7 if that was on court TV. Come on. John, is it like, I, like, watch you walk a tight rope every week. You have to, like, balance between being, like, edgy and ethical. Is that,

does that kill you inside? Like, they'll, they'll, they'll hate you if you say the wrong thing, right? Like, this audience, in particular, you guys, right? Just turn on him. Like, you guys, like, because I don't have that, but my, my audience is insane. So, like, they'll let me say, that's why I have so few of them, because, like, my audience is legitimately insane people. Yeah, you self-selected to the real freaks, for sure. That's an interesting question. I don't feel it from the audience. I think we, one of the fun parts of doing this show

is thinking about how to like talk about what's happening, which is quite serious, but be like unabashed in trying to find the funny in it and direct it at Republicans, which can be easier, to be honest, and also at ourselves in the ways in which I think we need to take ourselves down a notch and the hard part I think is like what's the right level

I think there's a lot of there are jokes that are unethical that are funny and there are jokes that are ethical that aren't funny and there are jokes that I think are defendable but they're too dark for the moment and like sometimes I fight for those and I'll try them and sometimes we'll keep them and sometimes we won't

and that to me is the moments where I'm not exactly sure what exactly, like how to strike the balance because is it that that means we should keep it in because it means like we should be pushing on this or is it because people are right to feel like, hey, like you're being a bit insensitive. It's maybe ethical but insensitive, I guess. Right. Yeah, I empathize with this. I used to go through all this stuff, you know, when I used to care about ethics. I mean, like, I mean, if you let it go, I mean, that was a rough couple of years. I'm saying I missed laughing too much, you know. That's why I chose laughter.

If I was a straight white guy saying this, you would kill me. But, I mean, I look like this. I can say anything I want. Like, literally, I can say anything. And I will. No, I'm sorry. I'm not going to say... I'm sorry, but Captain Bertardo was very funny.

I laughed backstage. That's really funny. Because I'm glad you didn't say the word. That's what I like. You didn't say the word this time. I don't think, like, saying the words are funny just because it's cheap. It's easy, you know? Not because I'm offended, but I say them all in private all the time.

I'm saying, like, In public, they're not fun to say because it's like, okay, now it's awkward. But Captain Bertardo, you skipped over all the lines. That was really good. I'm impressed by you. Oh, thanks for saying that. I'm loving this so far. Allison, you're an open and empathetic, sensitive star of stage and screen.

Those are my talking points, that's right. Robin, you do stand-up comedy, the devil's art. Yep. And so together you'll offer our audience all the advice they could possibly need in a segment we're calling High Road or Demon Memo. Okay. Wait, so you're making the trans person the devil on this show? Yeah, that's right.

I'm sorry. I thought, am I on, this was a liberal? Did love it or leave it or Turning Point USA, John? I should update that reference, right guys? Oh, I'm evil, so I can say anything I want. I've been in character the whole time. For years now. For years, for years and years before I met you.

Fair point. As we flagged our audience earlier, we'll be reading your moral quandaries, ethical conundrum, secret request for permission to unleash the beast, and Robin and Allison will give you the advice we all know we should give you and the advice we shouldn't. All right, here is the bucket of quandaries. Okay, I'm ready.

First up, I'm finishing an environmental science PhD and want to... Boo! Yay! Pussy! And I want to... I want to know if I should just say, fuck the climate and do like consulting. Let's start with the devil. Yeah, no, fuck the climate.

And also, fuck consulting. What are you doing either of those things for? You should just quit and commit crimes. That's difficult. That's difficult to argue with. I mean, whatever, you know. I mean, yeah, I guess, like, if. you're an environmental into studies and you do consulting, then you're just kind of selling yourself

out per profit for big companies. That's probably, that's probably bad. It's a lot of schoolwork to end up doing that. You could have just skipped right to that. This I truly do believe. I think we are at a moment in history where we could really use some altruism. I don't know how long we're going to be here. You know, like in what iteration will we be here in five years? I think you should just go the altruistic route. That's what I think. What are we doing? Now is the time.

I'm going to sing Les Mis now. I really do believe in climate change for real, and I think it's going to wipe out all humans, but also like, what's great about humans? Yeah. But till when, you know, like, and in the meantime. Yeah, in the meantime, what are you going to do about that? Climate change is, that's a rare position.

Climate change is real, and I'm for it. Can't stop progress. John. Next up. When your dad is divorcing his wife that no one in the family likes or liked at all, how honest should you or can you be? Oh. Wow.

That is tough. Great job, everybody. I find that when someone you love is going through a breakup, you have to wait. until like six months after it's final before you even join in on being like that person's a piece of shit because in the beginning they're so tender and they're like one day they're like I miss them

and when they're like fuck them and you just have to be like yeah yes to that too like it's really I think it's really hard to be like I never liked them I've hated them forever because they're like little live wires in the beginning you know yeah and you can get a surprising reaction to that too which is it can be run the gamut like it can be don't say that You know, we had a lot of good years together.

It can be, how did you not tell me? Why did you let me do this? It can be, you're right. And I was stupid. And now I feel even stupider. Yeah, what's the point of it? I think in the early days that you should just be a mirror to the person that you love. And then you've got to give it us a good grace period.

And then you can be like, they fucking sucked. And in the meantime, hopefully you've got siblings you can talk to about it. Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right. Rob, what do you think? Are you sure you want to adhere? Oh, now I'm nervous. No, no, no.

I think that, yeah, you should tell him that she sucked, and you should also say, and also you sucked for having bad taste, and then you should disown your father because having a dad is for pussies. So I don't even know why you're talking to your dad. It's a good time to bring up all past evances. Like, you missed my tea ball game. Yeah, yeah.

Even good fathers. I'm saying not just bad ones. Rake them over the Coles. What have they done for us lately? Exactly, right. I love my dad. Hi, Dad. My dad doesn't speak English, so I hate you, Dad.

You'll never see this ever. Next up. My mom just moved into our small town and lives five blocks away. Despite a few conversations where we've asked for a text or call before she pops by, she still shows up unannounced.

Do we let this slide? How many times do we let it happen before letting slip the dogs of war? This woman carried you in her womb for nine months or paid a lot of money for surrogacy or did a lot of paperwork for adoption and you can't let her just drop by

to see her grand dogs of war? Shame on you. You won't let your mother visit Syribus Cerberas? Serberus? That's a good pull either way. Cerebus is like a computer program.

Robin? Well, I think that you should let her come, but don't let her know that you put, like, electricity on the doorknob. So that when she, like, touches it, she's like... You're going to home a loner. You're going to home a loaner. Like a dog shock caller.

Oh, yeah. You're going to get her like she's the wet. bandits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That'll fucking teacher. That would. That would, yeah. That's right. You have the Pavlovian thing. Yes, right. My jokes have no logic to them. I'm just trying

to be evil. I don't know what else. You want for me. Next question. Do I honk at bad drivers? What are you going to do with that? Devil? You should say, fuck you. You should write them a strongly worded letter.

That's right. ram them with your car or something? I do. I actually do want to ram them with my car. Run them off the road. I do struggle with a little bit of road justice. That is such an interesting word. I love it. I don't do anything in extreme.

But for example, today, I was driving home from the office while driving and watching Nuremberg on my phone. No, it wasn't. Between this... On 2X. But as the author intended, and it was some, basically the woman behind me honked me,

unearned. And so then we turned right, and she turned right together. And I will go a little slower. You know, I'll just chill out just a little bit. It's like, oh, you're in a rush. The world isn't bending to your will. What a shame.

And now the person thinks that you're Asian. They're going to go around. Like, why is this? Oh, my God, it's John Lovett. Damn it. I didn't know John Lovett was Asian. Yeah, I had no idea. I have the same issue with road justice,

which is what I'll be calling it from now on. And my thing is that, I mean, I'm in character as an angel. My thing is that I don't feel like other drivers get to tell us how we get to drive. Like, I understand if you're like, Hong Kong, the light is green now. But I don't like, if I were at the front of the line, I would have already turned. I'm like, well, you're, I don't know. Yeah, different people. You don't know where I'm at today, my friend.

You don't know what I'm seeing in front of me. There's a pedestrian you can't see. I just don't like it. I think it's rude. I think it's rude. Yeah, that's going on. Because I mean, like, what constitutes a bad driver? I think if, I hunk at people if they're doing illegal things,

but I don't hunk at them if I'm just like, I wouldn't do that if I were you. Yes, I tried to be fair. Like, I really try to, like, I, road justice comes with road mercy, right? you have and so you know there's an angel and devil on my shoulder every time i'm driving home i you know i honk my car if i'm seeing a pedestrian and they're like really ugly i just honk my horn i just go what's going on here and i drive off last that's cool last question that's cool that's cool i think that's cool my last last conundrum my kid was 100% in the wrong at the playground and another It yelled at him, so I lost it, right or wrong.

Oh, this is hard. The angel would say, I don't know, we all deserve grace. Blah! So, I am a big believer in Godfather style. Never, no, hey, don't, don't, what's the line? Don't show a disagreement in front of it. You know, what's it? Never just, never.

Anybody? Come on. that I dated in my 20s and not in two. None of you are here. It's like never disagree in front of the, in front of straight. Never go against the family, right? In front of somebody. And so, like, I.

Long time, no see. I, like, I think that, like, whatever the situation, you should be able to deal with it, and you should be able to talk to your own family member. It's very uncomfortable. Like, when spouses don't take each other's sides, you're always, It's like, not a good sign. Even if one is wrong and everybody knows, like the cool move is just like,

we're going to talk about this on the car. Yeah. But right now I got your back. But Jesus Christ, you're fucking wrong. Yeah. You got to be a good team member. You got to be a good team member. Devil. I don't think there's anything like wrong with like losing it on the other person.

I think what the problem deep down inside underneath it is that like, you shouldn't care at all about your kid. So I think like, so that's, the issue here is... Why did you have children in the first place? Exactly. You should be apathetic about what your kid did and what somebody else did to it. And I'm saying it. I'm saying it.

I'm saying it. Because that's what they deserve to be called. Their pronouns are it, it, it, it. Catch Robin at the Elysian Theater on Sunday, November 23rd, and watch her special. Hear me out on YouTube and listen to Trans Talk wherever you get your podcast and everybody can check out

St. Dennis Medical. You should watch us on Peacock right now but the new season's coming out in like two weeks. November 3rd. It's really funny. It's really great. David Allen Greer, we didn't even talk about

how great it is. He's a legend. I love... He's our elder statesman. Singing into a warm bath with you and David Allen Greer on the show watching it. That sounded weird.

I thought you were over last night. Just so enjoy the curtains. You two are so great together. I love watching you with David Allen Greer. It's a pleasure. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up.

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. This month BetterHelp celebrated Mental Health Day by saying thank you therapists. I like that we were first looking forward to Mental Health Day, then we were celebrating it. Now we're just looking back. What a day it was. What a day mental health day was. Better Help therapists have helped over 5 million people worldwide on their mental health journeys. That's millions of stories.

Millions of journeys. And behind everyone, a therapist who showed up, listened and helped someone take a step. forward. I was at a wedding this weekend, and there was somebody there who was a pod fan and a therapist. And I was like, how do you fucking clock in and be present? Better help therapists were according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. They match you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And their 10 years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your

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at Asia. Get some. BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com slash love it. and we're back a couple notes in our unrelenting media environment the news moves quickly and it can feel like we're watching our country whizz past us the car is moving so fast we can't possibly see

the individuals being left behind or worse on her new podcast runaway country veteran journalist Alex Wagner talks to the voice at the center of the headlines from the fringes of the resistance to the marrow of MAGA to the many people who found themselves smack dab in the middle of a fight they didn't ask for

if you want to understand our unreal times you've got to talk to the real people who are experiencing it firsthand. Join Alex as she brings together the stories of everyday Americans trapped in her national car with no brakes alongside conversations

with some of the smartest thinkers in politics. Tune in to Runaway Country with Alex Wagner every Thursday wherever you get your podcast or subscribe on YouTube. It's a great show.

We're grateful to Alex for doing it with us. Everybody, please, please subscribe right now. Let's get this thing to the top of the fucking charts. And CrookedCon is just two weeks away as you may have heard

there are a ton of new speakers added to the November 7th lineup, Adam Mockler, Tim Miller, Pramilla Jaiapal, Jen Saki, Simone Sanders, Townsend. But we are also finally announcing this schedule. I'm going to be hosting a panel called Are We Having Fun Yet? Which is about why Democrats have become downers and how we... That's right. And how we can get out of it. With Asan Piker, Simone Sanders, Townsend, Tim Miller, and Jessica Tarlov from Fox News.

I'll also be interviewing Senator Ruben Gallego. Vote Save America will have an action hub with all the condoms you'll need. No, it's not. It's just for chit-chat, just for chit-chat. But stay tuned for more details. Take a look at the full schedule. Be sure to grab tickets you haven't yet at crookedcon.com. There aren't many left.

We sold it out. We moved to a bigger space. I have a bunch of tickets. Added a bunch. Most of them are gone. So if you're going to come, buy the tickets. Also, last note, our next episode of Bravo America with Dorinda Medley. Woo.

Drops on Tuesday, November 11th. In the meantime, catch up on my conversations with Terry Dubro Olivia Plath and Parvety Shallow and of course go to cricket.com slash events

for tickets to upcoming shows right here at Dynasty typewriter. A lot of plugs. Good plugs. Thank you.

All right. Good plugs. Thank you, Bob. For enduring the commerce portion of the show. I love commerce. There are several things I love that people

just don't understand and I used to care but now I don't and neither should my guests so we're each going to share a yum that people love to yuck all over in a segment we're calling

I don't care. I love. it. I don't care. I love it. All right, let's spin the wheel. Allison, it has landed on you. What is something you love that people love to hate?

Okay, listen, you guys. Banana candy. Okay. Listen! I have the floor! I just stand up and start pacing. Okay. I love banana candy.

I know it doesn't taste like bananas, but the thing that it tastes like, I like it. And nothing else tastes like it, but does grape candy taste like grapes? No, that's insane. I recently, we had like a bowl of candy on set the other day, and I found a banana now or later, now and later. Now and later.

When did you find it, though? This is going to go on forever. I found a banana candy. and I was like, yes, my childhood. And I unwrapped it as best I could. I don't know if you've had one of those in a while, but the paper does not come off. And I had a memory, like, come back to me fully formed

that I would just pop them in my mouth with most of the paper off when I was a kid. And then eat some of the paper. I ate a lot of paper as a kid, John. I'm not going to like, some world fixation going on. Anyway, the point is, I think banana candy still snaps. And it's great that no else likes it, because then I get all of the bananas from the runts

and I get all of the bananas now or laterers are now and leaders. Is there any other banana candy I'm forgetting? Luffy taffy, delicious and easier to unwrap. So yeah, give me all your banana candy. I don't care what you think. I think it's delicious. Thank you.

Thank you. When I was very young, like under five years old, I did not like bananas. I am also a stubborn person. I did not try a banana until I was in, I believe, my late 20s. Wow. That's right. And the reason was because I kept on having like Charlie Horse in the middle of the night.

You know the thing where you're like, your leg sees up. And if you don't jump up in time, it's a crazy thing. Like it's like a weird little kind of like 24 style ticking clock that pops up in your brain in the middle of the night. You're like all of a sudden you feel it happening. And if you don't jump up and walk around really quickly, you're fucked. And everyone's like, have you eaten a banana? And I was like, I haven't eaten a banana since 1988. I know.

They say bananas are good for that. And they're like, well, you should probably have a banana. Then I had a banana. They're great. Let's spin it again. Robin. That cute picture of you. Oh, yeah, I know.

That was when I was cute. That bow. Yeah. By the way, before I, when you said that taking time 24, 24 reference, I actually mentioned the show. 24 in my special Hear Me Out on YouTube that you should check out

and also I do a eight-minute bit about the show Survivor. Have you ever heard of that show, John? Oh, now you know this is a tender subject. No, no. You know. Listen.

I'm sorry. I had a great experience on Survivor. Brief. Brief experience on Survivor, But in the grand scheme of things, did I really need to succeed at one more thing? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no.

What a masterful answer. No, I actually was like, no, no, I was really mad when you got eliminated. Like, it was really pissed, but I just wanted to plug my special. Oh, thanks for saying that. Well, okay, so I have like three, but I'll just narrow it down to one. I'm a huge Eminem fan. Been an Eminem fan. That is the correct reaction, by the way.

Eminem was like the first troll that I knew you know and obviously I'm a fan of trolls based of what you've seen tonight but I think it might be a little bit of an autism thing because like Eminem Weezer and Wrestling are like the three things that I liked as a kid and I like never stopped liking those three things

even when they got really bad like like I listened to like when I say I like Weaser and Eminem people try to be nice to go, oh, yeah, like, Pinkerton and the, like, Pinkerton and the Marshall Mallor's LP. I'm like, no, I listen to, like, new Weezer and new M&M. Like, that's crazy. That's fucking crazy, you know?

I don't think that loyalty is inherently autistic, I think. Yeah, but now, I don't, but I don't listen to them because they're good. I listen to them because, like, I just want to see what they're up to, you know? Like, I listen to Eminem. Like, I'm like, are you still with Kim? How's your mom doing, you know? Oh, how old is Haley now? Who do you want to kill this year?

You don't want to kill this year? and like Eminem has like I'm I know way too much about Eminem like I like he talks about like four things for 20 fucking years now you know um but I I liked them because when he first came out he was making fun of everyone I remember he was making fun of the gays and the Christians on the same album and watching gay people and Christians who hate each other join up to protest this piece of shit was so fucking funny to me but then but then on his next album the Eminem show he realized that he had a lot of homophobic fans that he didn't like and So he made a song where he, like, he blows up the World Trade Center. He, he's fucking Dr. Dre instead of a closet. Like, he's just like, so he's like, fuck those people. And if there's, the only thing I think is funnier than gay people being offended is straight people being offended that someone's gay.

I think those are my two favorite topics. And then Eminem got really, like, into drugs, you know, and he got really bad. And then he got sober. And now he's obsessed with puns. That's all he does now. He does puns. I don't know him in his pun era. So he has these puns that are terrible.

He's like, I'm the butt police and I'm looking at your rear, rear, rear, rear. Like, this is the kind of shit he says now. It's crazy. Okay, but the rear, rear, rear is a siren, right? I mean, it's layered. Yeah. Like a shepherd having sex with a sheep. Fuck what you're heard.

This is who he is now. What I love about that is. It's like a guy who's like movies for his kids when he gets older. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just like that there's like inside of every boy there is an uncle

yeah that and you can be one of the like most famous musicians in the world you can have albums that freak the squares you can be edgy

and like go through like a phase where you're like considered like not safe for the kids but you'll hit a certain age and then it'll be like got your nose that's his next album. So Eminem's

next album. Got your notes. But, like, by the way, I don't think he's good anymore. So when people, well, people will tell me compelling evidence and why he sucks. And I'll be like, yeah, I know, I know he sucks. They're like, well, here's more evidence. I'm like, I know I agree with the evidence that

you're giving me. They're like, why do you still like him? And I'm like, what does leave? It's not my choice, you know? And I feel like I feel like this is the way straight women feel who are attracted to men. It was like, do you think I chose this? Like, I get, like, offended, you know? Like, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be into these people, you know.

You just peered into my fucking soul. I know. Let's spin it again. What will happen? You know, I want to dive into something. I mentioned it briefly and receive some flack over it, so I'll just, I want to reiterate it with more detail. I want to recommend to you something.

something that I do and I call it my secret burgers and these are my secret burgers and I go through the McDonald's drive-thru and I get a McDouble or a double cheeseburger and this is the part where I think people will not like it. No ketchup, no mustard. Dry. Oh, no, that's good. I love no. No veggies? No veggies? I usually say fine to pickles and onions, but I will sometimes just say nothing. Dry. Meat and cheese. Meat cheese bread. Meat cheese bread. Meat cheese bread. Meat cheese Bread. Meat, cheese, bread. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Okay. One, I'm in my car. It's safe. You are free. You are free. Meat cheese bun, you are safe and free. You're not trying to do what never works, which is laying a napkin across your lap. And that has a second layer of protection, the paper. Which somehow doesn't work. I don't understand how. how the physics of it, but if you're driving and eating a burger,

like the way ketchup and mustard can move physically, it's like, it's like how, like, maybe it's not a conspiracy, how Kennedy died, you know? Like, things move weird in a car. And it's like, how did ketchup get under

into my pockets? And it's like, that's not a second shooter. It just fell weird, you know? So that's one. And then two, Do you like burgers, or do you like ketchup? Oh!

I know that I like burgers. Do you? Do you? I don't know that you do. I think you might like ketchup with some meat. I like burgers. Dry burgers. No, I'm not even, I could completely agree with this. I love dry burgers.

That seems insane. I mean, I really, I very much agree with it. I mean, we might disagree with, like, everything politically, but I mean, with the burger, in terms of burgers, I'm like borderline of fascists, but when it comes to burgers, you and me, we're like in sync, dude.

Like, for real? I did a play with a guy. Robin was having a dry burger at the intersection, yeah. I did a play with a guy in Chicago who didn't have a car, and so I would drive him to rehearsals, and he would eat in my car, and he would eat a burger from Wendy's,

and then he would always have, in the other hand, an open ketchup packet that he called a suck pack. And he would go hump And then he would Honestly And I was like That's fucking weird

But thank you Because I just got this thing washed You know A suck pack That's like the Republicans Right Like a C pack Like a super pack

It's like a suck pack A bunch of Right That's a political joke right I have not I haven't watched I haven't watched the news In like 10 years

So I don't A dry burger let's the meat speak. And that's our show. Thank you so much to Michael Schaen. The great Allison Tolman, Robin Tran. We will see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter. There are 374 days until the midterms.

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