Lovett or Leave It - Saved By The Bel-Air

Episode Date: February 4, 2023

Live from the SiriusXM studio, Lovett Or Leave It pits DeSantis vs Trump in a battle for the... well, not the soul of the country. The Academy’s own private detective (Brandon Scott Jones) pulls back the red curtain on this year’s Oscars scandal. Lovett and Larry Wilmore discuss police brutality and the debate over reform. Plus Josie Totah and Olly Sholotan face a 90s TV quiz, and the Rant Wheel? It spins. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

Welcome to Love It or Leave It Live or else coming at you from the shortest month of the year that feels like the longest. We have a great show for you tonight Josie Tota and Ollie Charlatan are here and they are so young it makes me want to walk into the sea. Larry Woolmore is here for our favorite segment, Nuance Discussion. A detective who may or may not be Brandon Scott Jones breaks out his transatlantic accent to crack the case of Andrea

Risborough's 11th hour Oscar nomination and the rat wheel spins because time is a flat circle and so is our fury. But first, let's get into it. What a week. The Biden administration announced that it plans to let the COVID public health emergency expire in May, just in time for sicko de mayo. Sicko de mayo. President Biden's personal lawyer announced on Wednesday that the FBI is searching Biden's vacation home in Delaware to investigate

whether it too contains any classified documents. The FBI said they'd need hours to comb through the piles and piles of boardwalk caricatures of Biden on a skateboard, Biden surfing the waves, Biden playing tennis, Joe and Jill on a motorcycle where the license plate says love to ride. The lawyer also said while the FBI is there, I've instructed them to discard any expired aspirin bottles from the 1970s, along with threadbare towels stolen from various Marriott hotels over the decades. You know, grandpa shit. The College Board has capitulated to Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and watered down its AP African American Studies course,

purging content about black queer studies and black feminism, which is fucking fantastic. I was just about to find out why the cage bird sings. Students will still study the speech, ain't I a woman by Sojourner Truth, but the body of the text has been shortened to, yes, I was assigned female at birth and have no further questions on the matter. Meanwhile, Donald Trump slammed DeSantis,

his potential rival, accusing him of not being an authentic COVID denier. DeSantis promoted the vaccines as much as anyone, Trump noted, Stinky Ron claims he hates critical race theory, but folks, people are saying that he actually respects the invaluable contributions that bell hooks made to the analytical framework of intersectionality. Not good.

It's not good. It's the closest you'll get to a Trump impression from me. Just the cadence. Trump also sued Bob Woodward this week, claiming that the journalist didn't get his consent to release recordings of their White House interviews. In a statement, Trump also said the audiobook, quote, was an open and blatant attempt to make me look as bad as possible.

Anyone publishing an unedited recording of my own words can only be trying to humiliate me, said Trump. In a very dark and extreme anti-trans video released on Truth Social, Trump vowed to stop gender-affirming care if he returns to the White House. The left-wing gender insanity being pushed on our children is an act of child abuse. Very simple. Left-wing gender insanity, which I'm sort of regretting picking as my pride party theme this year, but you know what? I'm not changing it. The t-shirts have been ordered. We're sticking with it. This is not to be confused with right-wing gender insanity, which is when you have a very strong opinion on the imaginary genitals of M&Ms. Trump closed the video by saying that being

transgender is a concept that was never heard of in all of human history. Nobody's ever heard of this. What's happening today, it was all when the radical left invented it just a few years ago. It's true. I didn't want to admit this, but I was in the meetings. Nancy Pelosi had the original idea, but it was my pitch that we could one day use it to dominate high school girls' athletic competitions. Trump is lending credence here to an underrated theory of history and philosophy, which is things don't exist until the moment Donald Trump learns about them for the first time. Say what you will, but I think it's still pretty amazing that in 2016 we elected our first president to lack object permanence. There used to be a beautiful, beautiful face in front of me, didn't there? But then all of a sudden some radical hands took the face away.

Now we don't know where the face went. Peekaboo, they call it. It's a terrible thing, peek-a-boo. Meanwhile, New York congressman and falsehood enthusiast George Santos announced that he will temporarily step down from his committee assignments amid multiple ongoing investigations. Santos insisted that the move was his own decision, telling reporters, Did McCarthy tell you to step away from the committees?

I'm sorry, nobody tells me to do anything. I've made a decision on my own that I thought best represented the interests of the vote. And let me tell you, Michelle Visage was gagged, mama. According to a New Siena poll, 78% of voters in Santos' district think he should resign from Congress, including 89% of Democrats and 72% of Independents and 71% of Republicans. However, Santos has called the methodology of this poll into question, telling reporters, no, they don't. The real reason Santos recused himself might be because videos surfaced of him singing

Hallelujah, Let It Go, and other Disney songs on a karaoke app eight years ago. On the bright side, he wasn't lying about being gay. The confidence to post that on the internet. Look, we all do karaoke, all right? Most of us are bad. That's why it's karaoke. That's why you do it there. You don't do it there because you're good. Karaoke doesn't exist because we're all good singers.

It exists because we're not all good singers. And that's fine. But he posted it. He posted it because I think he thinks he was great. And I think he thinks he's an amazing singer who could be a famous singer. And that's what makes George Santos so fucking cool. I don't, you know what

the worm is turning on George Santos George Santos is fucking good. I am pro George Santos and if he were my friend I would tell him not to resign he should hang on as long as possible he has no other source of income he's not going to have another source of income

hang on for dear life he's made it. Look at possible. He has no other source of income. He's not going to have another source of income. Hang on for dear life. He's made it. Look at him. He's fucking fine. He's fine. Yeah, he did tell McCarthy he's not going to be on the committees, so he has to work less. He doesn't care. He just got less work. It's the only job he's being punished. He can't work as hard.

George Santos doesn't care about that. George Santos' life is not about trying to work harder. It's about working smarter. Anyway, George Santos, he sings, he does drag, he lies about 9-11, he's a classic triple threat. Anyway, I find it all very relatable because you could catch me in a ton of Google-able lies that I would just straight up not admit to,

but if you find a video of me singing Defying Gravity in Koreatown, I will end my life. An anonymous research collective revealed the true identity of a married couple behind Dissident Homeschool, a telegram channel that supplies neo-Nazi lesson plans to over 2,000 subscribers. Each school day begins with

a thorough search of the attic. The lessons focus on the three R's, reading, writing, and Reichstag burning. U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy said he thinks 13 is too young for kids to use social media platforms, but the Surgeon General continued,

that's mainly because Matt Gaetz is still allowed on there. Look, to me, if you're old enough for a bat mitzvah, you're old enough to watch 800 TikToks about buckle fat removal. And, you know what? I think a little AI porn, slime videos next to clips of Family Guy, and every

violent thing happening on Earth is necessary for a growing brain. The Dallas Zoo reported that two Emperor Tamarin monkeys had been taken from their enclosure on Monday morning and were later recovered in an abandoned home through an anonymous tip. We happen to have a transcript of the 911 call.

I'll read it to you now. I can't do it. I can't do it. I'm going to read the transcript just because it's a transcript. And, you know, I think there were some dissenses amongst the team how a person would read a transcript like this, but I'm going to read it like a transcript, okay? Not in some dramatic performance

of what a transcript might sound like, but I'm just going to read the words. Ooh, ooh, ah, ah. I know where the monkeys are. Thank you, and where are the animals located? Ooh, ooh, ah, ah. I'm having trouble remembering, but a couple of bananas might jog my memory. Sir, you're a monkey.

Dispatching emergency response to your location. Damn it, loco. Ooh, ooh, ah, ah. They've got us. A guest on the Joe Rogan Experience started a bone rush in New York City recently when he made the dubious claim that tens of thousands of priceless woolly mammoth tusks laid waiting at the bottom of the East River. This led to what scientists are calling the largest and most undateable group of scuba divers in human history.

Historians do agree that this rush has led to fascinating discoveries, specifically of five new types of staph infection, subtype penis hole. A dangerous radioactive capsule the size of a coin was missing for nearly a week in Australia, lost somewhere on the 1,000-kilometer journey from Western Australia to Perth when it fell off the back of a truck. The good news is the capsule has been recovered after an exhaustive search. The bad news is that it was found in the pouch of a 23-ton wombat that laid waste to the city of Mindura, whose people fought bravely and will be forever remembered in the hearts of all Australians who cried out as one,

Nar! A new study suggests the psychological trait that best predicts whether someone will buy into conspiracy theories isn't mental illness but instead

good old fashioned overconfidence In response Facebook has promised to fight misinformation by increasing funding for its powerful self-confidence

destroying technology Instagram New York City has set a new record for the longest amount of time with no snowfall in a winter season The children of New York have creatively made the best of their snowless winter, lying down in parks to make beautiful rat angels.

Decluttering expert Marie Kondo said she kind of has given up on keeping her home tidy after the birth of her third child. Marie, the slob community welcomes you. With open arms and a cheese plate that's been out since Tuesday. The community welcomes you. With open arms and a cheese plate that's been out since Tuesday. And finally, Bob Bourne, a candy executive known as the father of Peeps, has died at age 98. In a tragic microwave accident, he doubled in size and then exploded. Coming up next, there's a mystery afoot this awards season, and we've got just the man to solve it.

And we're back! It used to be Oscar season was a time to gather together with your gayest friends, place friendly wagers on best adapted screenplay, and ask yourself, Seth MacFarlane, who said no? Unfortunately, unfortunately, as cultural institutions crumble around us,

even this timeless tradition has been marred by controversy in the last few years. This year's maybe sort of scandal, the legitimacy of actress Andrea Risborough's Best Actress nomination, which has been called into question. Here to discuss the controversy,

it's the Academy's own private detective, Guy Martini-Shott. Mr. Martini-Shott, thank you so much for being here thank you for meeting me here

John I invited you here it is my show or is that what the poobahs of the studio world want you to think well

guy I'd love for your perspective on this whole Oscars debacle in a nutshell Andrea Rysberg was nominated for best actress

for a little scene movie called To Leslie that people are claiming is unfair. Yeah. You better button your chin, pal, or next thing you know, you find yourself caught in the rain. I'm sorry, what? Let it go, John.

This is a hay burner. I don't understand your slang. People are upset that the director and his wife used their connections to rally celebrities to help their friend get this nomination at the expense of other performers like Viola Davis for The Woman King or Danielle Deadweiler for Till, who might have otherwise gotten the nod. You think this is about some A-list high binders and their cream puff pals? The rot goes all the way to the core, John. High binders? Okay, listen. High binders.

Some high binders. Yeah. Some A-list high binders. But how is this different than when studios spend boatloads of money to promote their prestige films? Okay, listen. Highbinders. Some highbinders. Some A-list highbinders. But how is this different than when studios spend boatloads of money to promote their prestige films? I said the corruption goes all the way to the core, John. I didn't say, oh, there's some other second pristine core that these muckety-mucks use. You're going to have to use your noodle if you want to crack it in this town,

this filthy, beautiful town. Lousy. Lousy with glitter and grime. The heart of an angel. The soul of a devil. That's what L.A. is. That's what L.A. is. L.A. is the heart of an angel but the soul of a devil.

Soul of a devil. So, you think you'll see your name in bright lights, boyo, but the only lights you see belong to the meat wagon after some plug ugly puts on the chill. God, who are you? Hey, me?

I'm nobody. Just some house dick. I'm sorry, what? I'm not familiar with that term. It means detective, John. Let's see. House dick. House dick. Means detective. Well, just the dick part.

The dick means detective. Yes. The point is my... What is that point? Well, the point is my cream puff friend. Okay. These aren't your run-of-the-mill bindle punks. Look at what these people have done. They've got Gwyneth Paltrow to praise Andrea Risborough's performance

on Instagram Kate Winslet hosted a private screening probably at some blind tagger okay and that's another bit of slang that I didn't put in the script no it's good I didn't know exactly what you were saying so

okay so alright it doesn't sound so bad Gwyneth Paltrow posted on socials k winslet did a screening did this violates the rules of the academy so they might overturn her nomination well not necessarily since she didn't actually do any of that stuff herself then again if i find any evidence that andrea did say email the academy members even just to remind them that she could be nominated. Even just to remind them if she could be nominated. Just a reminder.

Just a reminder. Just a reminder. It's curtains. Curtains. It'll be curtains. She'll fall faster than Brody in Brooklyn. Faster than Brody in Brooklyn, a famous person who jumped off

the Brooklyn Bridge in 1886. You all remember. An expression that was used in the era of noir films? Of course. Very common reference. That would be devastating. Yes, well, like they say in Hollywood, heartbreak feels good in a place like this.

Now, wait a second. That's just from... Come on. That's not noir. That's from Nicole Kidman's AMC commercial. Ah, Nikki Redd. Now that's a dish if I ever saw one. Real twist.

Gams all the way up to Mulholland. Gams? Are you implying that you had some kind of torrid love affair with Nicole Kidman? The lady never tells, my cream puff John. Okay. And neither do I. I'm a man's man. You're a man's man, And neither do I. I'm a man's man. You're a man's man, huh?

Oh yeah, I'm a man's man. Yeah, I get that sense. Yeah. By the way, I cross my legs. That's a man's man. We cross our legs like men here on Love and Leave It. We absolutely do. The famous man's cross.

Yeah, 100%. The man's cross. But I'm a man's man, too. Don't just do the man's cross. I'm a man's cross. But I'm a man's man, too. Don't just do the man's cross. I'm a man's man out here looking for justice on the freezing rain-soaked streets of Los Angeles, California. Big orange, city of angles.

Nearly none of them are right. Malcolm, we don't need any more sexy noir music. No. Is he paying you to do this, Malcolm? I might have slipped your staff a few berries, and I'd love to slip a couple to you as well. Take a cream puff to dinner first.

Point is, you want fair? Don't look to Oscar. He'll have more luck betting on the bang tails. Horses. Yes. Cincinnati bang tails. Horses. Yes. Cincinnati bang tails. Horses. Horses. This story may have drawn the candles, but it's no better in the

dark, and it may have been news to you, a bright-eyed chippy, but it wasn't news to Viola fucking Davis. It's a flawed prize in a flawed place. Forget it, John. It's to Leslie's town. Sadly, I think that's right.

That's why tonight I'm going to kick off my shoes, pour myself three fingers of forget-me-troubles, and watch a great film called Renfield. Oh, Renfield. I've heard really good things about Renfield. It's funny. You're a noir detective seemingly from another era,

but you're also aware of the latest films. Yes, the latest films that are yet to come out. They're coming out. On the verge of coming out. They're right about to come out. It's a comedy,

but it's also horror. It's also horror. Damn straight, it's horror. It's comedy. It stars Nicolas Cage, Nicolas Holt, the Nikolai. The Nikolai, as we all know.

The Nikolai. That's the two. I hear there's some other star. Yeah, a little fresh face called Brandon Scott Jones. Brandon Scott Jones. Sounds awesome. Yeah, just by the name you can tell. You can tell three names.

He's either a great actor or a presidential assassin. And that's really cool about it. It is. It's like, is he funny or is he a killer? Yes, exactly. Maybe both. Fun fact. It could be a serial killer, too he funny or is he a killer? Yes, exactly. Maybe both. Fun fact, this guy...

Fun fact, could be a serial killer too. No, absolutely. Or presidential assassin. Yeah. Or comedic actor. Or comedic actor.

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Or all three. Fun fact, John Wilkes Booth went to the same high school as Brandon Scott Jones. Really?

Yes. Two great actors that have made history. Two great actors that have made history. Both most famous for their acting. Yeah, most. There are two people who really made it.

Look, here's the thing. I would say this. Here's what I would say. All right? Look, I think it's an open question. You have Brandon Scott Jones and you have John Wilkes Booth. I think it's fair to say that John Wilkes Booth,

in terms of his theater work, his theater work really had an impact. It certainly did. No one did things in a theater that he's done. And no one will again. You can't do... Look, what John Wilkes Booth did in the theater, I mean, honestly, it shocked people.

Yeah, very true. It was immersive. It was experiential. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it was like that thing when they do Hamlet in a house. Yes, Sleep No More. Yeah, exactly.

Except some people slept forever. Forever, forever. Well, you know, anyway, after I watch that movie, I'll let it go home. Which looks great. Yeah, thank you. Thanks. What else are you going to do?

I mean, well, then I might pour myself another glass of Leave Me Alone and go watch Ghosts on CBS. That's a great night. Yeah. Think about it. You're watching Renfield. Yeah. Then you're pouring another glass of Leave Me night. Yeah. Think about that. You're watching Renfield. Yeah. Then you're pouring another glass of Leave Me Alone.

Yes. And then you're watching Ghosts on CBS. Absolutely. And I think Brandon Scott Jones might be in that as well. He absolutely is. I hear he's really funny. Very funny. That one's on right now.

You can watch that now. You can absolutely watch that one right now if you're not too blitzed from those two drinks. From the Forget My Troubles and the Leave Me Alone. Forget My Troubles and the Leave Me Alone. Forget my troubles and the leave me alone. That's six fingers. That is six fingers of it. He kills. Let me tell you, Brandon Scott Jones, he kills.

He drops them dead. Like a button man on a payday. Button man being famously a noir term for a hired gun. Yes, for a hired gun. A heavy is what they would call it in the 70s. A real plug I've got from there. But I've got open cases and a hired gun. A heavy is what they would call it in the 70s. A real plug I got from there. But I've got open cases and a closed heart. And it's time to take a powder.

So you're going to take a powder? Yeah, I'm going to take a powder. Leave this in. This is good. Yes, glass onion. He can't walk out on the mic because his mic has a wire. Exactly. The only reason I thought I had to stay. Guy Martini shot, everybody. The famous detective.

And thank you so much to Brandon. Season 2 of The Incredible Ghost is airing right now on Thursdays. And everybody check out Renfield. It looks awesome. It's coming in April. Brandon, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much. When we come back, Larry Wilmore is here. Hey,

don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Joining me now, a man whose podcast I was on less than a week ago, the one and only Larry Wilmore. Hi, Larry. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me, John.

Deja vu all over again. How have you been doing since I did your podcast four days ago? How am I doing? Okay, I guess I'm all right. We're talking about the... It could be a light question. It could be a real question. That's really... I leave it to you.

I'm doing fine, John. It could just be banter that gets us into a conversation. Banter that gets us in. The conversation could have already begun. I like the banter that gets us in. conversation. Banter that gets us in. The conversation could have already begun. I like the banter that gets us in. I'm doing okay. I'm doing fine. Hanging in there is what I always like to say.

So it is the first day of Black History Month. Two big developments. What? Shout out Black History Month. Beyonce's ticket sale was announced. And the College Board capitulated to Ron DeSantis and have agreed to, in a technical term, defagify the AP Black History course.

Right. Yes. To use a technical term. Yes. Why do you think the college board is more afraid of Ron DeSantis than the vast majority of people who either don't care or just want politicians not involved in deciding curricula for students? Well, he has the power to make it go away completely, I guess, right?

Right. So I'm sure that's why they're vowing to him. It's just so ridiculous. The erasing of the black is the thing that makes me laugh, you know, in all different ways. But, you know, it's like an AP class. It's like extra credit, which you have to kind of seek that out anyway. So I doubt that the people who are seeking that out are going to have roadblocks to finding out the information that they want.

But it's just so cynical. It's the most cynical type of politicking, which, you know, we talk about that kind of stuff a lot, is going after those areas because they want to punish the woke, you know, own the libs, that type of thing. I think most of it comes from the fact that he wants to be president. He's going to run for president. And they want to be in that lane, you know, that Trump lane where they're owning the libs. And how better to own the libs than to not teach them everything about the role of racism in society? Because it's woke. Because it's woke.

Because it's woke. Well, it's interesting, right? Because it's like a woke fractal, right? Because deep down, it's a woke fractal. Because on some level, AP, African American history, is too woke to exist right but they know they can't say that so they're like let's attack the gay parts of black history the woke within the woke right right and then it's like you know what i mean it's a layer of woke you zoom in and there's another woke layer that's actually i have to give them credit that's pretty diabolical right it's like they found something

woke inside a woke thing to attack. Very good, Ron DeSantis. Maybe he should be president. Oh, no. Can we deal with China and Russia in the same way? It's working. But it is crazy. I will say this.

I don't want people to feel like that their histories and their stories won't be told. You know, if they're not in an AP class, trust me, I didn the internet you know i'm so old right um no ap classes i knew who james baldwin was i knew a lot of these stories there will be different ways that people will hear stories you know and to hear these things so let's not put all our eggs in the ap basket i will for sure well i also will say too there's no group of people you're less likely to stop on their journey to figuring out that Ron DeSantis is full of shit than the kind of student who is going to sign up for AP African-American history. Like, you lost them. They're too smart for you. You know, they're going to crack this one, whether you try to stop them or not. It is an interesting point. Who's the target?

I've been thinking about this lately, which is that like whatever else is going on, the two political parties are always standing on the doorstep as you're going off as a kid to go to your first party. And one party says have fun and the other says bring a sweater. And sometimes the party that says bring a sweater is right. And sometimes the party that says bring a sweater is wrong. But you always like the parent that says have fun. And sometimes you're a little annoyed by the parent that says bring a sweater. And I think that there's an effort by Republicans to make Democrats to bring a sweater party, but when it

comes to stuff like this, it's like... I thought the other party was the black people are going to steal your sweater party. And be careful, right? The black people are going to steal your sweater. Sorry. But when it comes to Trump going after trans trans people or Ron DeSantis trying to change the specific curriculum, there's a kind of like, leave us the fuck alone.

Just let people be that I think Democrats need to own. Because a lot of this is just at what point do we think the governor of Florida ought to be focusing on something other than the specific lesson plan of a school class? Like, is he going to get into specific books? Is he going to get into like, like, I don't know. you know, I don't think we should have this book by bell hooks on the curriculum, you know, we have to own that we have to kind of take back the kind of libertine kind of excitement that used to be what Democrats did. But I think we've kind of lost at times. It's true. You know, what is it that you're actually fighting? And how do you fight things

I think are very important questions. Don't lose sight of certain things. I do think a lot of what's happening politically right now is performative rather than, let's say, strategic or really meant to do something constructive. You know, so much of it is performative. And I think a lot of the performative nature of it is related to Trump. I think a lot of politicians had to act as if they're in the Trump camp in order to, you know, there was their way of genuflecting to Trump to try to get his approval. And I think a lot of the virtue signaling, you know, virtue signaling is always put on the left, but it happens on the right all the time. Let's not fool ourselves. But most of the virtue signaling on the right is towards Trump and towards his gaze.

Like there's this Trump gaze, which I think is lessening now, but people still try to get because it's the part of his base that is such a rabid base of voters. And there are certain issues to them that are so important that they thought Trump was the savior for those issues. And the left culture is one of those issues. They feel the left has taken their culture and has run all over it with all this queer stuff and trans bathrooms and all these things. And that they need guardians for that

culture. So part of what Ron DeSantis does, he understands that. And that's what I mean by performative. When he's talking about the Don't Say Gay Bill and this African American studies and stuff, that's all saying, I'm protecting that culture that these motherfuckers are trying to steal from you. And I think sometimes the way the left fights it, I don't know if we always fight it in the right ways because the left always goes by being smart. And we're going to explain to you what this is.

We have to break it down. Well, this is what it really means. Nigga, just fight a good fight. You don't have to explain something. Just fight those motherfuckers in the right way. So anyhow, I didn't say that very articulately, but I think you guys know what I'm talking about. Well, I do think that Ronda Santos is an evolution of Trump in that Trump was all performance, right? Oh, absolutely.

If you watch the speeches that Trump even gave in the last week, it is complete fantasy of what his presidency was but it's an enjoyable one right it's yeah it's the idea that like this president as deal maker came in stopped all the left people and the woke people and the jews it's in there it's in there you know they guarantee it's in there they what they wouldn't give for it to be Fauci-stein, like they want a fucking, they're so annoyed that he's Italian. They're so annoyed. They want him to be Jewish so fucking badly. That's so true. I never thought about that.

Oh my God, it's unbelievable. It's radiating off of me. They don't want to do a firing squad on Fauci because he's not Jewish. But no, the point I was making is... Why does he have horns? I don't understand this. There's a... There's an evolution that Ron DeSantis has done, which is he is as good at Trump

at taking the national microphone by using the actual powers of a governorship. So it is a performance, but he's using his power. He's trying to ban the AP classes. He's doing Don't Say Gay. He's going after Disney. He's using his power and money as governor to kidnap people seeking asylum and

shipping them to Martha's vineyard. He's, he's using his power to take the news cycle, but with actual policies underneath it, with actual ramifications, which I think it's an evolution of Trump's sort of feral genius. Yeah. But I do think liberals don't totally understand how to fight back because

you're right. We do make this case to kind of explain that way. What he's doing is wrong. And there was this. Well, actually, Ron DeSantis wasted taxpayer money. Right. Sending migrants to Martha's Vineyard. And that's very true.

He absolutely, of course, did. And it may even have been criminal. Right. But there's no like, OK, you can fight him on the facts. But what's the story we're telling that's not defensive but offensive that makes him look bad that makes him look weak that puts him on the heels and i don't think we have that no it's true you know in the critical race theory the way that liberals fight it is they explain to a critical race theory is you know and your brain is like no stop explaining it you know i can't i could only take so much it's like

or how about this stop fucking with black people and our history. Just say it like that. You know, you don't have to explain it in those ways. Or, you know, just make the conversation more of a practical conversation to achieve something. You know, what are the aims of it as opposed to what it actually is and those types of things. Yeah, I do think this effort to explain it actually also I think sometimes speaks to a lot of things small L liberals, people just that believe in liberal society, which does include a lot of Republicans, have just taken for granted. Like we take for granted that everyone understands why democracy is a better system than a strongman system. We take for granted that people understand the purpose and value of education, including a fulsome history education that looks at the good and the bad. Oh, Pundit saying hi to Larry.

Hey, Pundit. It's my fucking show. All right, we've talked about this. We've talked about this. I do think that sometimes we don't ever say, like, why is it important that when we teach history, we teach the full explanation of what happened, not just the good, that history shouldn't just go from the founding to Martin Luther King

to, like, Arthur Ashe, you know, that history shouldn't just go from the founding to Martin Luther King to like Arthur Ashe, you know, that there should be something in between. God, I wish Arthur Ashe was in the teaching. I think a lot of it, here's the thing. I'm a writer. I love words. A lot of it is language that can turn people off. Like you say certain code words, you know, and people just turn off, you know.

Like when people say, Larry, do you believe in critical race theory? I go, no, there are too many critical race facts that are out there that I don't require a theory. Slavery, Jim Crow, the history of all those things, redlining. There are so many critical race facts. Why do we need a theory, for Christ's sakes? There are so many facts that are out there. But also it's what you're going to do with it and that sort of thing. And I think if our conversations become more constructive, I just think it would be better

rather than arguing over language and that kind of thing. So a piece in New York Magazine looking at how DeSantis has exploited race and racism in his politics said, I am not calling DeSantis a racist. What I'm arguing instead is that DeSantis' political ambitions have entailed disempowering black citizens in his state and in a calculated fashions. Is that a distinction you find interesting? See, with people like DeSantis and people of his ilk, I don't think it's a racial thing, as people say it. I think that's the means by which he's owning the libs. It really is left culture. If that curriculum was all about black conservatism, I don't think he would have said a thing. You know, if that was the whole curriculum, it was just black conservatism.

We just want to have an AP course on the history of black conservatives. You don't own the libs by getting rid of that. You're making me think about it. People have to understand there are certain things that I believe certainly are racial or at least have racial underpinnings or even racial origins. Stand your ground. It's very problematic in many ways. But I think most of the things that Ron DeSantis does,

as easy as it is to just say racism, well, race may be part of it, but there's a bigger thing. You know, I would say there's a side thing that's going on here of what the actual story is. Well, there's a reason. It's a right and left story. Well, yes, I think that's right. But I think there's a reason he targets AP African American Studies. And it's it's because you're right at a it allows him to focus on the real enemy which

is the left and the kind of intellectual elite and the kind of the village right but there is a through line here which is it also signals to his base right that like i'm also taking on this culture that's telling you you're racist that the country's racist which is a way of saying the people that are telling you that this country still has racial problems, don't let that into your heart. You don't have to feel that. You don't have to believe that, that the problems that divide by race in this country are not born of injustice, but actually of the deep-seated animosity and prejudices you carry. Oh, we didn't do it. We weren't responsible. Right. We weren't responsible.

Yeah. Now, I think if we talk about grievance, I agree with that, you know, because grievance was the lane that Trump was in, especially with, you know, the one group in America that's not identity politics and that's the working class white voter. Why? That's not identity. It's beyond, you know, every other group is identity politics. But I think that goes under the grievance issue for sure. But I think that goes under the grievance issue for sure. So it's in that context that we're in the midst of another debate about police brutality, police violence. There was this video that was released of the murder of Tyree Nichols. And once again, there's I think the stirrings of a conversation in Washington about whether or not they can revive efforts to do some kind of bipartisan criminal justice reform, even though that feels really unlikely. I want to get to the way it impacts culture. I just want to start with the actual divide around the policy itself. Don Lemon interviewed Tyra Nichols' mother and incredible strength to be doing interviews like

this, seeking accountability, very brave person to be able to do that. But what was striking to me in that conversation is midway through, she made a point of saying there are good officers. I know good officers. And what I, my honest reaction to seeing that is this is a person saying something that is to the right of what a lot of activists are saying. This person going through this unbelievable moment of grief.

And it speaks to just how I think deep this divide is on the question of reform, which is I think there's a more traditional view of what we need to do. And that is introduce a series of reforms, continue building on the reforms that have happened in the last few years. And then there is a progressive activism that says, how could you possibly reform a system which allows violence like this, brutality and humanity like this to exist? There's no reforming a system like that. How do you think about that divide? How do you think about that divide? How do you think about it?

Yeah, that is a tough one. I mean, I understand the saying that not all cops are like that. People have to understand, part of the history of black people in this country is that, especially my father's generation, many of the only jobs that were available to them were civil service type jobs.

So many blacks went into things like police or my father was a probation officer. He went back to school and became a doctor later. But a lot of those areas are jobs that blacks could get. You know, so in many areas of the black community, there's a deep respect for having those types of jobs. And, you know, they understand what those jobs are. Many of us have family members that work in those jobs. Doesn't mean that we also don't understand the relationship that black people have had with the police in general and the upside down nature of the power dynamic in that relationship. That's why when a lot of these things happen, like George Floyd, white people are surprised that something so brutal could happen where black people are surprised that it was actually caught on video this time.

That's the major difference because we've heard these stories and everything. You know, what's interesting about this Memphis thing is the fact you have five black officers, police chief is black and everything. People don't know how to think about the racial element and all that stuff. But that's not such a bad thing because it allows us to focus on another aspect. And you use the word, which I think a lot of times we miss out on, and that is brutality. And a lot of people forget about that what we're watching is this show of brutality that is existing in our culture right now that we don't always see but is there. And you have to ask yourself, what is going on here?

Why do they feel that they can exercise that level of brutality? Because police, we acknowledge that sometimes police have to use deadly force. We may not like it, but we understand that sometimes that happens either to protect themselves or to protect society, you know, to protect the people around in a certain area. Sometimes deadly force is needed, right? We may not always like that, but we understand why that may be needed. Deadly force was used on this kid, but what were they protecting? He was handcuffed. They weren't protecting themselves. They weren't protecting the society. So what were they protecting? They're protecting their egos. Some of them were bruised on their bodies, but all of them were bruised in their egos.

And the price for bruising the ego of a pack of officers is brutality. Okay. So we have to ask ourselves, why do we allow that? Why is that happening? How do we reform these acts of brutality against citizens who obviously don't deserve that? Yeah. And there's, I think sometimes there's some like nihilism that creeps in where people say, look, there were body cams and this happened anyway. And then, but at the same time, we don't know how many instances of brutality were prevented because people knew they were being recorded. And also it is because we have video footage that these guys weren't indicted. But I do think that a lot of these reforms, body cams, going after qualified immunity, all these measures to seek accountability, they are downriver ways of addressing the upriver problem.

Right. problem of the fact that there is a strain of this brutality, this sort of power trip that happens that draws a certain kind of person to seek the job. And that is in some ways encouraged or inculcated in the training or in the experience of taking on the culture of being part of the police. And that's acute in these, quote, elite units that are sort of seen as less accountable and overpowered, but seems to be everywhere. And I do think that like the way in which this issue is rightly racialized, it speaks to how we were able to overlook it for so long, because it was directed at people that

the sort of the media didn't pay attention to in a broad way. But whatever reform looks like, how do we address that culture of inhumanity that seems to be so prevalent? Yeah, that's a tough one because you're right. You know, the people who it was being perpetrated on, there was a low interest in terms of society stopping that. You know, if instead of that kid, if it was a young blonde white girl, what would the reaction be? You know, would that type of thing have happened? Why wouldn't it happen? If she resisted arrest, why not beat the shit out of her? Why not? If the answer isn't, yeah, we would have done the same to her, okay, now we're getting to what the issue

is. You wouldn't have done the same to her. So why do you think you could do it to this person? Because his life is not valued in the same way that someone else's life would be. And that's just a fact. And getting to the root of that, I don't know if that's an easy thing. But starting with the brutality aspect, you know, that you're not allowed to have that behavior to anybody, I think is a good place to start. But, man, I'm telling you, that history of that goes back a long ways. And there's a lot of limbs on that tree of where that's from. But I think people have just gotten away with it for so long that it's just an easy thing to do. And keep in mind, this unit, the Scorpion unit, whatever it was, so they're there, I think, to primarily fight the gang violence and that sort of thing.

So the language of gang violence is brutality as well. So some of it, if you're on the police side, you can kind of understand that that's the language that they trade in all the time. That's the language that's understood. There's a price to be paid for that, though. There's a big price to be paid for agreeing to speak

in that language. It's the way in which living in a society that sort of accepts a level of daily mayhem that's beyond what we should accept allows for these kinds of problems to fester for so long. I mean, that is, I think, part of what makes this issue so hard. And I do think why a lot of activists and people that really focus and care about this issue land on this is not an institution that can be saved. I think because it became to public awareness, people act as if it's an issue that's gotten worse

as opposed to there has never been a time when the police weren't like this. We are just now finally seeing more of it and kind of understand it. And it reminds me, and maybe this isn't, I'm not making a comparison of these issues in any way whatsoever, but it reminds me of our kind of inability to face what was actually going on in terms of sexual abuse in our institutions. Sure. what was actually going on in terms of sexual abuse in our institutions, that there was a realization because of coverage that sexual abuse was going on for a very long time in a lot of places, in churches, in schools, in institutions where adults were meant to be trusted, where they had the imprimatur of the state. And I think that's also what has in common with this issue. And then you go to say, well, how do we fix these institutions? How do we go back to a time

when this wasn't happening? Well, it turns out this was always happening. And so what you need to do is accept the fact that from the very start, these institutions have mistreated and hurt people and that that's part of the very fabric of their foundation. And that doesn't necessarily mean you need to get rid of them, but it does mean you need to be honest

about just how deep the rot goes, that there's no magical kind of period of time where this wasn't taking place. I agree. I agree with that. I remember when the George Floyd thing happened, we were talking about, I was saying this to me is a virus that America's had for a while. I called it COVID-16-19. That's what it was called. Thank you very much for a little joke on a very horrible, tragic

thing. Thanks, Larry. Thank you. I'm able to joke about anything is what I'm demonstrating. That's why it's the best. But my larger point was you're absolutely right. This sort of thing predates America. It predates all these things. But there's ways in which it manifests itself which gets

fine-tuned. Like, you know, the Holocaust was a fine-tuning of hate against one particular group. Terrible thing. But, you know. We all agree on that. Hate has been around forever, right? Hatred of Jews had a long run, has been around forever. That was like the worst form of it in recent memory that we can think of, something like

that, you know. We can't act like it started with Mein Kampf. Like the idea was born there. No, no, no, no. Anyone reading that book had confirmation bias when they were reading it that were involved in that. There's a happy thought for you guys.

One last question about this, which is, Larry and John are talking about serious stuff. Love it or... People may leave it. Look, they may leave it. Love it or cringe it. They may leave it.

They may leave it. They may leave it. That's why it's in the name. What are we going to do? Sometimes they leave it. Sometimes they love it. Sometimes they leave it. You never know.

But they'll come back next week. Yeah. Probably. So we're talking about this and, you know, that this is not just about sort of policies, but about this sort of culture. Definitely about culture. We have this new phenomenon of these videos, a countdown to the release of these videos. Do you see the release of a video of the Sanas Act against Tyree Nichols? How do you think about it?

Is it valuable because it shocks the conscience? Is it less valuable because it desensitizes people to violence? Is it both? I don't mind that type of thing. I mean, I think of the parents, you know, that stuff has got to be really tough for them. Some people definitely need evidence. Like I said, I don't need video evidence

to believe that that kind of thing happened. I think the thing that's almost more valuable, and I apologize for these types of terms, in seeing something like that is, you know, not so much the beating, but after the beating when they're coming up with their stories. Yeah. You know, that to me is arguably even more valuable to see, which, by the way, is also an act of brutality.

That's also an act of erasing someone's humanity, you know, coming up with those stories of, yeah, he reached for the gun, he tried to hit you, yeah, you. Yeah, that type of thing. That is almost uglier to me to see that type of thing happening than the beating itself, which is also horrific. There are many times where if we didn't see the video of something, there'd be no way of knowing what could have happened because the courts are certainly going to believe the police first. They're protected by their unions and that sort of thing. Qualified immunity and stuff like that. It's very difficult without video to know exactly what happened or to get to the truth of something. Well, Larry, I know this is a heavy topic, but I really appreciate you taking the time.

Yeah. John called me yesterday. Larry, can you come and do this? Yeah, I guess so. It's so yesterday. Larry, can you come and do this? Yeah, I guess so. It's so heavy. Is that what my voice sounds like to you? I'm glad we could talk about it. We had a nice serious chat and then you just sort of

that's where you go with it? Your dog came up and joined us. That was a nice little moment with the dog. You have some sort of champion's hat on? Yes, I got my rams. And they're in it. Well, I got to flex because we had such a horrible with the dog. That's awesome. You have some sort of champion's hat on. Yes, I got my rams, yeah. And they're in it. Well, I got to flex because we had such a horrible season this year,

so I got to flex. And have the teams that are in the Super Bowl been chosen? Yes, they have, John. That would be the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs. Kansas City. Kansas City, correct. How do they have the money for a team?

Well, there's a lot of people in what's called the middle of the country And where is that? There's East Coast and West Coast and then there's the thing that is the road to both East Coast and West Coast That's what's under the line when you go to the map on the plane Correct, correct

And people like the football They like the football, they like the wings, they like the beer they like the nachos and the onion rings Kansas City Chiefs are a legit team. They're really good. And Patrick Mahomes. We're going to have two black quarterbacks in the Super Bowl. That's pretty good.

That's cool. That's pretty good. And it's a very important position. Very important. Yes. Very important position. You got that part right. It's the host, in a way.

I think of it as the host of the team. Right. It is kind of the host. He says, welcome to the game, everybody. I'm going to be throwing some passes here in a few minutes, but first I'm going to bring out my offensive line. Those are guests, in a way.

Yeah, well, not quite. John, you should watch a football game. I've seen a football game. Your downs, your touches. I've seen them all. I know how it works. If you get it far enough, it's first down. You start the whole thing over again. There's end zones, there's dances.

You're right. Liberal's over-explaining again. I love it. I think football's great. I hope everybody has a great time watching the Super Bowl whenever it is. Some Sunday coming up. Is it this Sunday? Next Sunday? Are they still doing

a new Last of Us? I have something to watch. Yes. Larry Wilmore, thank you so much for taking the time. Thank you, John. It's my pleasure.

I always appreciate getting to talk to you. Thank you, guys. Everybody, listen to Larry Wilmore, Black on the Air, wherever you get your podcasts. He has incredible guests,

including me. When we come back, Gen Z takes over. Oh, I like that. Thank you, Larry. And we're back. Welcome to the stage, the host of Crooked's own Dare We Say podcast and star of the new Saved by the Bell series, Josie Tota,

and the star of Bel-Air, Olly Scholaton, who arrived. Hi, what's up? Thanks for having us. Stay like that. I think that's great. That would be a few violations. Welcome to you both. Thank you. All right, what's up? Thanks for having us. Stay like that. I think that's great. That would be a few violations. Welcome to you both. Thank you.

All right, let's start this. Let's talk. I'm so excited. I can't wait. I'm sorry. I meant that. No, and I meant that you meant that. You know what I mean?

Does that make sense? You know what being 40 is? I'll tell you what it is. It's knowing that like, if I put on the outfit you're wearing or the shoes that you're wearing, I would have to go to jail. I think you could pull this off. That's what you have to say.

I think you would eat it. No, let me ask you this. I think you would do amazing. You're like, I don't know, 20, 24. See, but even, but I'm not. Are you 40 flat? 40 flat. That's pretty hot. Oh, is it? To have a zero in your age is like, that's pretty nice.

Let me ask you this. I want to ask you both this question. How much of the original Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have you seen? How much of the original Saved by the Bell have you seen? Here's the thing. So I didn't grow up in America. I grew up in Nigeria until I was like 10. I'm pretty sure I've seen every episode like once or twice, but I didn't watch it in order.

A lot. The answer is a lot. Yeah, but it's just like, whenever I say that, people are like, so you know everything. I'm pretty sure I've seen every episode once or twice, but I didn't watch it in order. A lot. The answer's a lot. Yeah, but it's just like, whenever I say that, people are like, so you know everything. I don't, is the thing. Let me ask you this question. Was Carlton coded gay? What do you think? Yes. Well, no. Actually, actually, actually, no. Here's what I'll ask you. Here's what I'll ask you. Ask me whatever you want. Why do you

think that this black man, who isn't traditionally masculine, has to be gay uh i mean look look i'm just sort of i'm a little bit like uncomfortable that you brought race into it um i will say for the same reason that in the world of fraser somehow if the character of fraser was any in any other show fraser would be coded gay but in in Frasierland, Frasier is straight, so Niles is coded gay because Niles is so gay that it makes Frasier

look straight. I'm going to say something so heartbreaking. You don't know a thing about Frasier. I have no idea. I'm sorry. He's not from here.

You were born in a different place in time. He was. I can't expect you to have seen Frasier. No one has seen Frasier. Wait, when did Frasier stop airing? Whenasier stop airing?

When did it stop airing? I think like before 9-11. I think. I don't think there's a 9-11 episode of Frasier. I don't think they grapple with it. I think Frasier exists entirely in a pre-9-11 world. We'll write one. What's Frasier about?

It's about a psychiatrist who lives in Seattle. Right, with his dad. With his dad. With his dad. 2004? Oh, so they did have to deal with it. I wonder how they dealt with it. I don't remember.

I don't remember an episode. They kind of maybe just lived in a world where it didn't happen. Okay. Unlike the car, you know, in the films, the Cars film, where there are cars that talk.

Familiar. We're familiar. They show planes fighting World War II, which sort of suggests that there was some kind of a Cars holocaust. Yes. And car Nazis, which is crazy to think about.

There are car Nazis, but then also the fact that there were planes does suggest that there was a Cars 9-11. What do you think that the car Nazis were mad about? I think we should move on. I think Carlton's gay. I think Carlton's gay. And I think Carlton's gay. I think Carlton's gay. And I think Carlton's the metrosexual.

I think he's Ryan Seacrest, Mario Lopez sexual. Okay. And I am a firm believer on that. I think he likes women. I think he likes getting his nails done. Remember when we were talking

about metrosexuals all the time? I know. We were like, guys who wash their ass. They have to be not. Yeah. Now, look, I think what we've both noticed is you've avoided the question entirely. How much of Saved by the Bell have you seen, the original?

Okay, so I've definitely seen the show. So I was on the reboot. And I watched some clips on YouTube. I think I've seen one full episode, I'm being completely honest, which was the telephone. There was something involved with the telephone, and I think we recreated that. He had a cool cell phone.

No, I think it's when... Alicia, do you know what the episode was? It's the telethon that you and I then recreated. Oh, you recreated the telethon. It was like a telethon thing, and I saw that episode. But as far as everything, I mean, no. No.

To be honest, I haven't seen much of the show. That was a really long no. I'm sorry. I mean, obviously, I was aware. Can I say I was aware of how iconic it was? I was aware of how people were fans of the show. And I mean, I remember I went to the hospital because I thought I had COVID, like early on in COVID and like shit was going down. hospital because i thought i had covid like early on in covid and like shit was going down and the guy who had like the doctor who was like helping me like had recognized me when he was like

putting my iv in or and was like are you on the news about and then told me that like he grew up watching it so i feel like everybody watches the show or watched it and i always knew that but i just didn't i need just to need you to understand something and this is what it is which is i'm realizing something. What I'm about to say to you is different than what I was going to say to you because before I said it, I had a realization

and now you're going to hear something I just learned about myself that I'm about to tell you, which is what I was going to say, which is what I had thought until I about to say what I was going to say is that I used to go to the mall by my house to try to recreate Zach Morris outfits

because I thought he was like the quintessential cool-looking person. And I would try to go to like Aeropostale and structure. Why'd you pronounce it like that? I don't know how to say it. I was going to say the exact same thing. How do we say it? That's how I said it.

You just made Aeropostale. That's how I said it as a kid. Is that not right? I haven't said it in 20 years. Aeropostale. Aeropostale? But young Zach Morris, when he turned 18, was very attractive.

we love him. Honestly, you made us know you thought he was hot when he was 17. Well, I was a kid. I was young. I was a kid. Sure. So you just felt the need to clarify. So that kind of... The point is, here's the point I was trying to make. Here's what I was making. This is going really well. It's going so well. So well. But here's the thing I was trying to make. Here's what I was making. This is going really well. It's going so well.

So well. But here's the thing. I realize now that I didn't realize that what I was was in love with Zack Morris. The way I tried to demonstrate it was recreating his outfits, but of course I couldn't because I didn't have the effortless cool of Zack Morris. He is very cool. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Thank you.

What's your dog's name? It's Pundit. That's the coolest name I've ever heard. I think he was going to say that no matter what I said. I feel humored and I feel pitied, which is a perfect time to transition to the game. We love transitioning. This is going to make you really... It's time to play a game we're calling Saved by the Bel-Air.

So named. We met competing against each other, by the way. In what? On Family Feud. Really? Bel-Air won, by the way. It was a competition and there. In what? On Family Feud. We won. Bel Air won, by the way. We was a competition and there is points everywhere. On Family Feud. But,

they happened to just win. So, Bel Air won. It was a really, really great game, you know. What did you win on? What was the question?

I don't remember what the, actually, no, I do remember what the question was. I remember like it was yesterday because I was the one that gave the final answer. It's biggest fan to fam. You know, it was the round at the end when they asked a bunch of questions.

Fast money. And fast money, yes. You've won. You don't even know the rest of the game. You know, so I was blinded by victory. So it was the fast money part and my favorite answer was, how many eggs does it take to make an omelet?

And I answered three. The fact that you remember that is so sad. What are you talking about? Nothing exciting happens in my life. That was it. And that's how we met. We famously had zero points on the board. No points. Not even one. How many eggs did you think were in an omelette? They didn't ask them. They didn't ask you.

It was that final round where they run through them twice. Yes. Is it Steve Harvey that's still hosting it? Yeah, good old Steve. Did anyone make eye contact with him? Oh, I touched him. You did? I fully hugged him. Cool. Yeah. Why did you say it like that?

I said I just hugged him. He said, do you make eye contact with him? We hugged, we said hello to him. I asked about his family, I asked about Lori. Yeah. Steve is a very nice man. He is so nice. I know him well.

You know him well? You spend time with him outside of that one day? Yeah. You're telling me right now that you have an outside of Family Feud relationship with Steve Harvey. Do you not? Yeah, it's a little concerning. I'll be asking questions about Fresh Prince and Saved by the Bell classic, the original. Okay.

Don't worry if you don't know every moment, but we did pick the moments that we can all look back on and say, oh, that was the 90s. We've changed. Are you ready? So ready. Yes. All right. Here wes. We've changed. Are you ready? So ready. Yes. All right. Here we go.

I'm going to ask you both questions. Call it out if you know it. Okay. In season four, Carlton is singled out for not being black enough when trying to do what? A, join the college lacrosse team. B, join a black fraternity. Or C, join the campus black student union. Well, I mean, that seems pretty obvious then.

So what is it? I feel like it'd be A. No, it's a... Wait, for not being black enough? I see where your head is at. It was for joining the college fraternity. It was joining the fraternity. Nice. Okay. I don't know why I'm inserting myself into this. Dang, you see that? Bel-Air's about to win again. So that's Bel-Air 1. I don't even know

why I tried. That's Bel-Air 1. Alright. In episode 4 of season 1 of the original Saved by the Bell, Kelly and the girls get back at Zach for bugging their sleepover by having Kelly pretend to be what? Is it A, blind, B, insane, or C, screech? This is so embarrassing. No one's ever done this to me before.

That's cool. Wait, really? That's cool. Episode four of season one? Yeah, episode four of season one. I mean, I feel like screech is the funniest one. I feel like being blind is offensive, which would make sense for our show.

Pretending to be blind wasn't offensive in this era. Yeah, I mean, I think it was offensive, but just no one listened. That's right. And I want to know, that's my position as well. So now you've just been canceled. It was offensive. So I'm going to say pretending to be a screech

because that's the funniest one. Jesus, it's so loud. It was B. She pretended to be insane. Which is like, what does that even mean? Great question. Next question.

Okay. When Will gets a job at a pirate-themed restaurant, a fellow waiter makes a very 90s gay joke based on either A. Whether he wears his earring

on the right or left ear. B. Whether he wears his plastic sword in front or in the back. Or C. Whether he wears his parrot on the right or left shoulder. So here's my thought process.'s hear it the historically offensive stereotype is the earring mm-hmm but one thing I know about the

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air writers is they take normal jokes and they take it further so I'm gonna go with parrot correct I didn't even get a chance to answer I got a right parrot you were gonna say parrot I was literally I was about to say after I said and he Lee. You were going to say parrot? I was about to say it. After I said it? And he had his middle finger up behind his back telling me to shut up. And I was just about to say it. So I would have said it, but I didn't say it.

You just gaslit every listener of this podcast. Every listener, watcher. Wow. That was cool. Just saying. Josie gets the point. Thank you. After learning about subliminal messaging,

Zach inserts a secret message into Kelly's George Michael tape. Okay, I remember this. To get her to either A, ace the big final, B, go with him to the Valentine's Day dance, or C, dump Slater. I remember him doing that. I remember why he did that, because we did that again on our show.

I feel like it'd have to be B or C, like the last two options, either dump Slater or go with him to Valentine's Day Dance. I mean, the Valentine's Day Dance makes sense. So I'm going to say Valentine's Day Dance. That's correct. Oh my God, good. And I think you keyed into a key aspect.

I was going to say that. I was going to say that as well. She held her middle finger up behind her and told me to shut up. Josie, you're being quite threatening. You're silencing a woman. And then that happened. It's the first day of Black History Month. Oh my goodness. I'll do anything for you.

Where do we go from here? Rhonda Zander's gonna play that at some sort of press conference. Like, this is the future they want. Please Venmo me. Thank you very much. I'll Venmo you. Which male comedian on the rise guest starred as both Maurice and Maurice's sister, the latter of whom had to go on a date with Will, which was definitely done in the most respectful way possible

and not played for cheap laughs at all. Was it A, D.L. Hughley, B, Chris Rock, C, Eddie Griffin, or D, Dave Chappelle? I feel like it's Chris Rock. I don't think Chris Rock was ever on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Let's go with A. I'm here for it. Let's go with A. You think D.L. Hughley?

Yeah, let's go with A. Josie, what do you think? I said Chris Rock. See? Wow. A steal. It's my favorite show. I love Chris Rock.

See, I was like casting in my head. I was like, he'd be good at that. I looked up a clip and I was like, you know what? I think our eyes shouldn't see it. When Principal Belding relaunches Bayside High's radio station, the gang all gets their own shows. What is Kelly's show called? Is it A, Girls Night?

B, Desire Hour? Or C, Sleepover with Kelly? Desire Hour is truly strange. i'd love to have a desire hour um sleepover is like lame that's sort of like a lazy choice uh i'm gonna say desire hour okay good i'm killing this i actually you're you're for real killing i'm the biggest you're actually doing really well of the show. The context of that was in the green room.

Josie kept complimenting me, but she would say actually before everything. Those are actually some really nice shoes. It was a game we were doing. The passive aggressive actually is fantastic. That's actually a good idea. Right? You know?

This is actually fun. Yeah. Wow, you're actually doing... I'm just kidding. This is actually really fun. No, I'm kidding. Which problematic icon made a guest appearance as a potential buyer of the Banks family home?

A. Bill Cosby B. Donald Trump C. OJ Simpson D. Rosie O'Donnell Those are all the same level as evil. Just kidding. I love Rosie O'Donnell. I think.

For now. Oh wow, this is tough. I'm just kidding. I love Rosie O'Donnell, I think. For now. Oh, wow. This is tough. I hope it's Bill Cosby. Sorry. I hope it is. Weird thing to hope for. Sorry.

I don't hope it is. I think it is. I didn't mean to say I hope. Oh, it was totally OJ. Or OJ. It was totally OJ. I guess if he's buying a house. Yes, OJ did it.

OJ did it. Yeah, but who tried to buy the house? We're here. I think it was OJ. It wasn't. No, it was Trump. YesJ did it. OJ did it, yeah, but who tried to buy the house? I think it was OJ. It wasn't. No, it was Trump! Give him the ding. It was Trump. It was Trump.

Enraged with jealousy that Slater might get his driver's license before Zach, which might lead him to be cuckolded. Is that the past tense of that word? Yeah, that's why. The point is, Zach sabotages Slater and causes what to happen? A, his car to crash and a locker to fall on Kelly.

B, the practice car hits the school mascot and wrecks the gym. Or C, Slater is injured, causing both Kelly and Jesse to rush to his aid. C? That's what it should be,

but it isn't. It's actually A, the car crashed and it caused a locker to fall on Kelly. I like the idea that in this episode of Saved by the Bell, the practice car hits the school's mascot and then slater and zach bury the mascot and take it to and you know keep it a secret for the rest of their

lives just like one hyper serious episode your mind is so dark i like how this did start as both of us answering the questions and then we didn't play the game correctly and now the rules have been changed i don't know what's happening here's the thing here's the thing there are no rules there are no rules and the stakes are low there are no rules and the the rules have been changed. I don't know what's happening. Here's the thing. There are no rules. There are no rules. And the stakes are low. There are no rules. And the point is to have a great time.

Okay. Exactly. And I am. I'm very competitive about this thing. We're actually having so much fun. Which of these

are real pickup lines from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Is it A, you know what they say behind every successful man is a woman but if you wanted

to change positions I'm with that too. B, hey girl, you look so good I'd marry your brother just to get into your family. Jesus Christ. That one's got undertones. C. Hurry up and write your number down before I don't want it anymore.

Or D. All of the above. All of the above. Yeah, it's all of the above. They were all used. Wow, all by will? I assume. They don't sound like Carlton to me. Come with me to the symphony. I'm coded gay. We can share sweaters.

If Carlton comes out as gay, can I play like your gay fairy godmother? Can you pitch that? I'm gonna talk to our showrunners about that. Or like your aunt or something. My aunt? Carlton's black. Yeah? Okay. Alright, good point.

Let's think outside the box. Screech and Zach secretly take photos of who that they then sell a calendar of the photos to attract customers to their new cool store. Is it A, Slater and Lisa kissing during practice for the musical, B, the girls swim team, or C, Lisa, Jesse

and Kelly working out together? It's so problematic. Yeah, it was girls swim team. This is me guessing. I think it's the swim team or C. Lisa, Jesse and Kelly working out together? It's so problematic. Yeah, it was girls swim team. This is me guessing. I think it's the swim team too. Okay. Nice. What was the 90s? They were just really edgy. Look, the 90s yeah, they're still figuring stuff out.

You know? I'm not familiar with the 1900s. Wasn't there. Yo, that's crazy. You were born in the 1900s. Yes, I was born in the 1900s. It wasn't there. Yo, that's crazy. You were born in the 1900s. Yes, I was born in the 1900s. Thank you so much to Ali and Josie. The second season of Bel-Air premieres on February 23rd on Peacock,

and you can hear Josie every week on Cricket Zone, dare we say, which is an awesome show that everybody should check out. When we come back, the rant wheel. That was great. That was really funny.

Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. Before we get to the rant wheel, first of all, we're officially in the phase of the George Santos news cycle where it's time to make merch. Yeah, merch always comes right after the ex-boyfriend talks to the media phase. merch. Yeah, merch always comes right after the ex-boyfriend talks to the media face. So the Cricket store now has mugs and tees for the three venerable institutions that George

Santos did not claim to found, but it's only a matter of time until he does. Please go to cricket.com and you can buy the George Santos Center for Middle East Peace and Bird Rescue merch among many other great ones. It's awesome. It's really funny. I'm going to wear one. It's awesome. And buy our merch for Dairy Say.

Our hat just came out. Also some great Dairy Say merch, but that's not what this promo is for. Well, I'm going to wear one it's awesome and buy our merch for dare we say our hat just came out also some great dare we say merch but that's not what this promo is for well I'm just jumping in here please do thank you

they're really funny check out all three designs at crooked.com slash store please welcome back to the stage Brandon Scott Jones woo

join us on the couch there come on in come cuddle with us yes please you can't say that to someone in a workplace setting so happy to have Gen Z

all on the couch together. Yeah. Goo goo ga ga. It's time for the rant wheel. Here's how it works. Wheels are made for spinning, like boots are made for walking, so that's just what they'll do. On the wheel, we have my parents giving me whatever garbage they have lying around

because they think I need it. People being surprised and saying, oh my god, when I drop things by accident. Thumbnails on YouTube videos. The Last of Us Episode 3. Baby wipes versus toilet paper. The phrase at the end of the day. DCEU release slate. People loving really old things.

Let's spin it. It has landed on The Last of Us, episode three. I put this on here. Is this how, is this how it spoils? There will be some light thematic spoiling, but I'll do the best I can.

Because we haven't started that yet. And you, you will not be spoiled. This is a spoiler, I'll make this spoiler free. That's a very good point. Thank you for saying so. Thank you.

I was born during it, so I watched it. He was a baby when it came out last week, and he can't wait to see it when he's old enough. Here's what I want to say. When I heard that they were making a show about The Last of Us, the video game, about funky zombies, zombies made of fungus,

I said to myself, boy, that's going to be scary. That's going to be a thriller. That's going to adapt the coolest parts of that video game into an exciting, scary horror show. That's not what be a thriller. That's going to adapt the coolest parts of that video game into an exciting, scary, horror show. That's not what these bastards did. That's what you thought they were doing. But no. No.

These freaks had other intentions. Because the first episode, yeah, it's basically just the cutscene from the video game for like an hour. Great. Ten out of ten. Second episode, it's the first mission of the game.

Almost exactly. Ten out of ten. Third episode, you think they're going to go into maybe an abandoned warehouse. All of a sudden discover it's filled with what? Zombies made of fungus. Zombies. No, that's not what happens. What you end up with is a 75-minute love story between two middle-aged gay men taking care of each other as their bodies slowly degenerate in this post-apocalyptic world with a sensitivity and sweetness that made me cry from my eyes for five minutes towards the end of the episodes and 15 minutes after it was over.

This little doodle next to me senses when people are in need, all right? when people are in need, all right? And when I say that this dog came up to me and stayed with me like it was visiting me in the hospital, it was unacceptable. I didn't want to be reminded in this watching of The Last of Us, episode three, that life is precious and futile and you should hang on to the people you love

and that there can be beauty in the world, even in dark times. I wanted to see a fungus zombie attack a group of people at a school. And another thing, I hope everyone here appreciates that we live in a golden age of television. It is a golden age of television.

There are people out there giving this episode three of The Last of Us a negative review. Shame on you people. This is the best thing coming out. And everyone's always like, oh, the movies are all about superheroes. Yeah, they are. And it's a little

bit annoying. But all the action's happening on TV. That was beautiful. Honestly, that was spoken word. That was poetic. It is happening on TV. Specifically February 23rd. I'm watching I'm watching Fleischmann's in trouble. I'm crying.

I'm watching Severance. I'm crying. Cry in Trouble, I'm crying. I'm watching Severance, I'm crying. Crying all the time. Even when the TV's off. I'm sick of it. Thank you. You're a mosh. Fair.

Some light applause is what I think I've earned. Let's spin it again. I think so. People loving really old things. Okay okay here's the thing i put this on here and i need to clarify what that means you fucking better because the way the way this comes across is wild and i know pocket what i mean specifically right is that there's this recent obsession and kind of how we're talking about the 90s uh there's this recent obsession with sort of going back and looking at older, less efficient, less good things and convincing ourselves that they are good. For example.

I'm so afraid that what you're going to refer to is something from like 2013. For example, Polaroids. I'm so sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Pause, pause, pause. Hold on. Hold on. Gas from the crowd. Hold on. I think the Polaroids. I'm so sorry. Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Pause, pause, pause. Hold on. Hold on.

Gas from the crowd. Hold on. I think the Polaroids are so cool. But the fact that a Polaroid camera is like $200 and then the film for each one is like $20, I think is utterly ridiculous. Here's the thing about my phone. I can take the most HD picture on this thing and I can hold 10,000 pictures on it for free.

Well, for about however much. How much do you think a phone costs? That's neither here nor there. It's supplemented through my carrier. But that's neither here nor there. My point is vinyl. I love vinyl.

I think vinyl is great. I think that we can argue back and forth over the experience of vinyl, but people will look me dead in the eye. And I produce music, so I know this. People will look me dead in the eye and they'll be like, Ollie, vinyl sounds better. It doesn't. Mathematically, mathematically, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that vinyl sounds better than lossless digital audio. Now you can tell me you prefer the sound of

vinyl you can tell me that you prefer like the experience of taking the vinyl thing out and putting it on the thing and hearing the soft crackle and the warm that i totally understand 100 but you cannot look me in the eye and lie to my face that vinyl sounds better. Wow. Can I just say, first of all, I just want to say I believe you. I hear you. Thank you for telling us. And we're going to get you the help you need.

I also want to say something that I really appreciate. Over time, vinyl degrades. If you don't take care of it, it skips, it scratches. Spotify doesn't skip and scratch. Spotify can't skip and scratch. It doesn't do that. It can sometimes just not work. And you can also not own it.

You can have some sort of grasp on it for a while unless their policies change. But Ali, I want to say something that I don't think the people at home appreciate that I will remember for the rest of my life, which is when you said, look me in the eye, you pointed at the third eye,

the invisible third eye in the middle of your head, the magical kind of pineal gland eye, the spiritual eye. And I've never in my whole life ever seen anyone do that. I've never seen someone without commenting on it, without any text, say you can look me in the eye, but point at the fucking center of their forehead

like you're Mr. Manhattan it was fucking cool and I thank you for it it was a beautiful moment you saw that right? did we all clock it? it was so small and one of the strangest things any of us have ever witnessed

it completely made me believe every single thing I was like no, no, this person understands. They're on a different plane than we are. I accidentally just revealed that I'm an alien. I'm so sorry. I've been hiding my other eye this entire time. That was cool. That was cool.

No, I'm with you on the Polaroids. If we're talking about real Polaroids, I think it's dope. There is something beautiful about the physical representation, but it's just to go to Urban Outfitters and spend $300 for four rolls of film. And when I say four rolls of film, I mean four like things of film. Oh, my God. That hurts my soul. One thing you should know. I mean, look, I hear your criticism of Urban Outfitters, but you should cherish it while it lasts, because when you turn 40, you actually can't walk in.

It's like you're a vampire and you need to be invited in and they don't invite you in. So you come to the door and if you walk in, your eyes start to bleed and you have to get out. And so then you stand on the outside and you wait for someone younger to bring you in,

like the reverse of when you buy liquor for somebody who can't afford it, who doesn't have the ID yet. Is this you asking me to take you to Urban Outfitters? Let's spin it again. It has landed on baby wipes versus

toilet paper. Okay. So, I am a firm believer that your asshole is your second mouth. Yep. I think

you should treat it. Just let that breathe for a second. You should let both breathe. And I believe you should treat it as such hygienically, metaphysically, emotionally. And I think it's criminal.

I think it's intellectually dishonest of a human person to use toilet paper to wipe their ass. I mean, it can scratch. It can tear. It can cause burns. It can give you those little red bumps that prohibit you from living freely. And, yeah, I believe in the wipe. I mean, if you're not using a wipe, you're dirty as fuck.

I don't trust you. You're gross. Unless, obviously, you can't afford it and you're in a a wipe, you're dirty as fuck. I don't trust you. You're gross. Unless obviously you can't afford it in your position where wipes aren't accessible to you. Then, you know, hit me up, DM me, I'll donate. Because like you need it. But like, but yeah, I just like, I'm just like a strong believer in that. And I refuse to defecate without wipes. I support you completely.

It is the official position of Love It or Leave It that the crotch is the face of the lower half of the body. I agree. It's the window to your soul. Exactly. One of the windows. The window. It's famously the window. In italics.

I agree completely with everything that you're saying. I do feel like it's wild that like we have like the toilet paper spot every toilet has the toilet paper spot with the toilet paper roll but like wipes are a kind of bonus that you may or may not get and it's like there should be a wet roll

that is so true we should take this to Shark Tank like there should be like a little shelf hey sharks you're disgusting your butts are disgusting. So is mine, but not anymore. You know what? I think we start off with a sketch where we all shit on the floor. Yeah. And we see...

Wait, what? You see where I'm going with this, right? And then we... And then what? We leave room for... We leave room for confusion. And then we bring in the wall. We bring in the wall. And then you grab the wipe off the wall. And then you wipe yourself. And then we bring in the wall. We bring in the wall. And then you grab the wipe off the wall. And then you wipe yourself.

And then you say, you got money? I actually think this one covers something. I think we should check on the spending of toilet paper companies. Because I have a conspiracy theory. That toilet paper companies are lobbying house building companies to make sure that every toilet has a toilet paper spot. Don't you think that's kind of crazy?

No, I think they just do that. I think that's insane. Where is it going to go? I'm sorry. You're talking like... I think they're getting money under the table. You're talking about... You think that there's a collusion.

Yes, I think that there's a conspiracy. So you think, but for Big Charmin coming down there and throwing money to contractors, there wouldn't be toilet paper? I don't know. There's a conspiracy for dry assholes, there wouldn't be toilet paper? I don't know. There's a conspiracy for dry assholes. I don't know. I do think that the bidet is

taking on a little bit more slowly than the Europeans would have expected. Because they have solved this. And they still eat like the wars. It's like a water park in your ass. Here's the thing. I don't know why I'm getting into this. Can I also just clarify that I spent four hours last night trying to figure out what I wanted to talk about

and it never changed. What did you do for the first three hours and 55 minutes? No, this is good. I think you landed on a really good one. This is the best I could do in four hours of my time. It's really good. It's sparking conversation. It's sparking thought and interest.

I don't know. I'm just passionate about it. Here's the thing one thing about it is everybody does it some people who have pooped probably in the last 48 hours Harry, Megan, Charles and they'll make a documentary about it I'm excited to see it

and that's cool but listen I've been giving my friends when my friends move into a new place as the housewarming gift I have tended to give is the thing that you put on top of the toilet that turns it into a kind of Japanese-style toilet with the water that comes out from underneath. I didn't know that.

I didn't know about that. Someone's rich. It's not that expensive. The washlet, It sounds expensive. But can you put a price on a clean fucking asshole? The answer is no. That's the slogan for our show. Because I think it's great.

Can you make merch that says can you put a price on a clean fucking asshole? Can you put a price on a clean asshole? Do you think we should keep going? All your advocates want us to move on. Okay, my apologies. Let's spin it again. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry. I'll just say one more thing about pooping. Which is, once I had a toilet in my home that fires water from below, I do not poop other places. I'm never one poop away from being home. I'm always getting home to poop. I know exactly what you're saying.

You won't find me in a Barnes & Noble. It has landed on people being surprised and saying, oh my God, when I drop things by accident. Okay. Yeah, I'll talk about this. I'm really sick of when I drop something, somebody that I know going, oh my god, or

I'm gonna drop something. I'm a famous Butterfingers, okay? I can't hold on to anything. It's actually a thing that I'm thinking about going to a medical doctor about. But it is a thing that I'm thinking about going to a medical doctor about. But it is something where if I'm at a restaurant

and a fork falls on the ground, it's going to make a noise. The restaurant's going to do that for you. You don't need to also chime in with the, oh my God, you're the person that saw it happen. You don't need to truly see it fall on the ground and join the chorus. I'm somebody that is not only just going to drop something,

but I'll knock something off tables. I might accidentally hit you in the face while talking. It's Black History Month, so be careful. I'm so sorry. Again, another mistake. And I just feel like if I make that mistake, we don't need to call it out. We don't need to draw more attention to it.

Let's just let somebody who has dropped something, shattered something, crashed something, hurt someone, burned something, thrown something. Lit the Notre Dame Cathedral on fire. Yes, lit the Notre Dame Cathedral on fire. Just let it be it wasn't intentional you know what I mean

yes and I think when we start gasping when we start saying oh my god especially if you know the person like I think they in that moment they need an ally you know when you've dropped a glass asking someone to be like no no it's okay it's like you don't need that babe

exactly exactly 100% everybody else here yes exactly When you've dropped a glass. You're asking someone to be like, no, no, it's okay. It's like, you don't need that, babe. Exactly. 100%. We're desperate for validation. Yes, exactly. We've all seen it. We all know it. We all know it. I'm right there with you. I just had a moment the other day where I was like, I'm done with this.

I'll cut you out. With the friend, with holding things. Well, the problem is my body's done with holding things. I don't know what's happening. This is sad. But I also, I shouldn't be laughing, but I am because it's the best medicine. I was at like a restaurant with my friend and we were having, we were at a very tight table. And the whole plate and fork from the first course goes on the ground as it does. Okay.

Why did you say it as if it jumped? It just goes. It just goes. It goes on the ground. It really does. It goes on the ground. Were you like reaching over? What was the context? The context was I was probably telling a story and suddenly the

plate decided to jump onto the ground. Are you a very evocative? You move your hand. I move my hand. You gesticulate. Again, yeah. I gesticulate. I'm a gesticulator.

And my friend, as we were eating, went, oh my God. And this is my best friend. One of my best friends. Ex-best friend. Ex-best friend. Now after that.

You get it. I looked her deep in the eyes and I was like, not today. And I wanted to leave, but God damn, Now after that. You get it. I looked her deep in the eyes and I was like, not today. I mean, that's cool. And I wanted to leave, but God damn, the chicken parm was real good.

And that's why you should go to Olive Garden. My God, that's it. I was eating at an Olive Garden. You get it? It's all the worse to be treated that way

because you're supposed to be treated like family. I know. If you drop something in a restaurant and then everybody gasps, it's like when someone shushes louder than the noise

they're trying to shush and the shush itself is more disruptive. I hate... Did you do theater in high school? I hate a loud, ear-breaking shush.

Did I do theater in high school? What gave me away? I was going to say, that's the epitome of people who shush louder than the noise. That felt homophobic.

That's what that felt like. First day of Black History Month. It may be February, but June is just around the corner. And that's something to always keep in mind. Here's the thing, it's always June somewhere. You're trying to get through February that quick, huh? Interesting.

When we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we come back, we'll end on a high note. And we're back. Because we all need it this week, here it is, the high note. I love it. This is Daniel in Chicago. My high note is that my wife and I just received the final approval for our pending international adoption. We submitted an application to our adoption agency in May 2019, and it's been almost

four years to get to this point. We're thrilled at the prospect of meeting our child and welcoming them into our home, and your podcast has really helped us through some rough patches. So thank you for keeping us hopeful and distracting us when we needed a distraction. I love it. This is Jared in Dallas, Texas. My high note of the week was that yesterday, after three years of schooling and busting my ass every day through it, I passed my NCLEX. So now I am officially a registered nurse. And top that with the fact that my partner is a high school biology teacher. So we got a nice queer couple of a teacher and a nurse and two of the most undervalued and underpaid professions in America. Just chucking along. All right. Thanks so

much. Bye-bye. Hi, Lovett. This is Kelsey in Idaho. I just wanted to say my high note is that I'm going to be starting a new job in late February covering reproductive rights as a reporter for my current company. It's a really big thing for me, coming from two months into the pandemic, being fired from my job while I was six months pregnant, and going back to my dream job of doing journalism with a company that just really values journalism and journalists who do a really good job.

And I'm really excited to cover such an important topic in this time of history. So thanks for all you do. Hi, Lubbock. This is Kelly from Ohio. A few years ago, I had really bad toenail fungus on my little toe on my left foot. No over-the-counter ointment would touch it. So I had to have the nail removed. And I asked the podiatrist whether the fungus would come back.

And the podiatrist said, probably would. Yeah, which was depressing. Well, the nail did grow back and two years on, still no fungus. Fungus free. That's my high note. Thanks for all you do. Bye. Thanks to everybody who sent in a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377.

That is our show. Thank you so much to Larry Wilmore, Brandon Scott Jones, Ollie Charlton, and Josie Tota. There are 640 days until the 2024 elections.

Have a great night and have a great weekend. And thanks to everybody from Crooked that came out for our SiriusXM live show. Really appreciate it. Love It or Leave It is a Cricket Media production.

It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer. And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Polvi Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Elaine Pierre, Chandler Dean are our writers. Bill Lance is our editor. And Kyle Seglin and Stephen Colon are our audio engineers.

Our theme song is written and performed by SureSure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McClain and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Nar Melkonian, Zuri Ervin, and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at youtube.com slash see slash Crooked Media.