Lovett or Leave It - Schrödinger's Mitch McConnell

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

We give up the ghost on knowing what’s up with Mitch McConnell, while Thomas Massie brings out the gallows humor, and Trump puts another nail in NATO's coffin. This week, Congressman Maxwell Frost talks zombie congress, Gen Z progressives and (sigh) Alf. Margaret Cho and Langston Kerman know the truth is out there - but in here, it’s mostly jokes about Heated Rivalry and trying to poop. And we pay our last respects with a round of Second Thoughts (and one very special kudos).For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail].

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Start your free trial today. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live it, live it live it, live it from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett. I've been to Maine twice, no tattoos. We've got a great show for you tonight, but first, let's get into it. What a week. So what do Americans and former Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell have in common? Well, we've both been going downhill since Trump got elected,

and it's not totally clear if we're going to make it to the end of his term. Just to catch you up, Mitch McConnell fell in 2019 and had surgery for a first. fractured shoulder. Then he was hospitalized for a concussion in 2023 after a tumble at a Washington hotel. And after several weeks in recovery, fell again at Reagan National Airport. He's like one of those famous DC cherry blossoms. So beautiful. And before you know it, on the ground. He froze mid-sentence during multiple press conferences, staring vacantly from the podium for between 20 and 30 seconds until rescued by AIDS and colleagues. He fell again after a meeting with GOP senators in December of 24 and fell down the stairs again in February of 2025.

In that case, the ref gave the stairs a red card, which was totally bullshit. Anyway, shout out to the sleeper left-wing agent on McConnell's staff who keeps gassing this guy up for stairs. Should we take the elevator? Uh, if you're a pussy, you've got this, Mitch. Then in February of this year, McConnell was admitted to the hospital for a week because of flu-like symptoms, and then on June 14th, he was admitted to the hospital yet again. with zero explanation from his office other than to say he was receiving excellent care. And the man has not been seen publicly since then,

which means there is really only two possibilities. He's either on the brink of death or he's about to release one hell of an album. Last week, several news outlets reported that on June 14th, according to emergency dispatch audio, EMTs had been called to McConnell's home and performed CPR on an unconscious, in cardiac arrest. But before we jump to any conclusions,

that could have been about any unconscious person having a heart attack at Mitch McConnell's home, perhaps a startled neighbor who stumbled upon a dead Mitch McConnell. His office, shame on you. His office has released several statements since then, insisting that the senator is improving and working closely with staff, but we've heard absolutely nothing from the man himself.

said one member of McConnell's staff, Mitch is as vibrant as ever. Have you seen Weekend at Bernies? He's like the two fun alive guys in that movie. In a letter, Kentucky Governor Andy Bashir formally requested that McConnell fully update Kentuckians regarding the current status of his health. Oh, get right on it,

responded a semi-transparent and glowing McConnell floating above Bashir's bed in the middle of the night. And then, once the public began questioning whether McConnell is still alive, a number of prominent Republicans released oddly similar statements on the same day, claiming to have spoken with him on the phone about similar topics. Topics like the economy, the war in Iran, what it's like meeting Genghis Khan, and how heaven is insanely hot and scary.

Commentator Scott. Heaven is like terrifying. It's so hot. I hate it here in heaven. So mean and hats. Commentator Scott Jennings said, and I quote, I spoke to my old friend Mitch McConnell this morning. We talked for just shy of 20 minutes about Iran, Ukraine,

the unfolding situation in Maine, my visit to the TR presidential library, and even a little bit of Senate history. Sadly, once Jennings got into the details of his visit to the museum, McConnell killed himself. Senate Majority Leader John Thune put out a similar, statement, as did Senator John Barrasso. Senator Barrasso and Senator McConnell had a lengthy conversation early Tuesday afternoon.

Their phone call lasted roughly 20 minutes. They caught up about the latest news impacting Senate races, Grand Platner scandal, and the recent Supreme Court ruling on coordinated spending limits. He's never been sharper, added Jill Biden out of habit. Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massey, who lost his primary to a Trump-backed challenger, mock these proof-of-life statements, posting, I spoke to McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning. He said we should end the war in Iran,

quit giving aid to Israel, stop spying on Americans without a warrant, and he's really sorry about how my primary turned out. Hey, I never said any of that, said Mitch McConnell, via television static to a terrified orphan no one believed. Here's the conspiracy theory. McConnell is being kept alive until August 3rd, because if he dies before then,

there would be a special election to fill. the remainder of the term, and Massey could run, win, and annoy the fuck out of Trump and Senate Republicans till January. And Massey would have pretty big shoes to fill. And like a toddler, McConnell is constantly leaving shoes behind. You're a Senate aide. You finally get a fussy Mitch McConnell into the car. You look down one fucking shoe. And you're like, you're like, where's your shoe, buddy? And he doesn't know. So now you've got to go all the way back to the rainforests cafe and say, did you happen to find a senator's shoe? on what they wanted me to cut that I said fuck you

I didn't say fuck you I didn't say fuck you I'm respectful on Wednesday Trump was asked by reporters on Air Force One whether he knew how McConnell was doing I have no idea I have no idea how he's doing though to be fair you could ask Trump that question about Don Jr and you'd probably get the same answer But this is life under gerontocracy. Mitch McConnell is 84, which is for context the age 78-year-old main governor Janet Mills would be at the end of her term if she were elected to the Senate.

She was the candidate, backed by 75-year-old Chuck Schumer, who fell behind oyster farmer and baritone maniac Graham Platner, backed by 84-year-old Bernie Sanders, in a contest to take on Republican Susan Collins, who would be 80 at the end of her next term if she wins. Boy, if I had a nickel for every senator and candidate who is too old, I'd have enough nickels to buy a house when they all bought houses. As we've discussed, Mills dropped out. Platner won, and then Platner was accused of sexual assault. On Wednesday, Trump weighed in on the allegations against Platner. And it's really a question of whether or not you believe the woman.

A lot of people say big falsehoods. They say the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so naturally Trump sided with Platner over his arched. nemesis, a woman. Later on Wednesday, Platner finally suspended his campaign in a whiny and conspiratorial video that was over 11 minutes. The video was more than twice as long as it needed to be and barely acknowledged the woman's point of view.

Did Christopher Nolan direct this thing? Let's take a look. But the brutal political reality is that they are going to take everything away from us. Those in power who have the ability to do so are using these allegations as an excuse to take away all of the things that we need to run a campaign. Good point, Graham. You are the victim here. But Platner hasn't withdrawn yet. According to Axios, Plattner told his staff that he's planning to wait until Monday, the last possible moment to actually formally exit the race. And as a terminal procrastinator myself, I'm almost impressed. I once wrote a speech the day after President Obama gave it. It was that good. The main Democratic Party will have until July 27th to replace Plattner on the ballot and is planning to have a hastily thrown together convention. to choose a candidate. There will be speeches, debates,

and hopefully a swimsuit competition. To check for tattoos, you horny perverts. Meanwhile, our gerontocracy is also causing some international problems. Here's President Trump at the NATO summit in Turkey this week during his meeting with Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky. We had 111 missile shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan.

As Japan's Ayatollah would say, I, caramba. And this seems like a harmless gaffe, but before Trump had a chance to correct himself, the U.S. and Israel bombed Japan. I'm really troubling to understand your rhythm. I feel like you're with me, you're with me, death. During that same press conference,

Trump couldn't remember the acronym for the Obama nuclear deal, and he called Zelensky, President Putin, gesturing right at him before trying to cover up the mistake. a question for President Putin, please? Mr. President, do you have a question for President Putin? Not so long as to Putin. What would you like to ask him? Because I'm going to ask him that question.

Smooth. I don't think anybody noticed. Trump's visit took place as the ceasefire with Iran unraveled. Earlier in the week, Iran's military had renewed its attacks on ships in the Strait of Hormuz, and the U.S. launched new rounds of retaliatory strikes, with Trump's saying on true social, this is retribution for yesterday. Yesterday's bombing of ships. If it happens again, it will get much worse. He did post that in Japanese, which was thoughtful. But not to worry, even with all of this going on, the president found time to take a little nap at the NATO summit.

Three years, even before the pledged date. We have allocated an additional budget. Out like a light. More alarming when he woke up, he said he had a great meeting with Mitch McConnell. And speaking of an international incident involving McConnell, one strange part of that saga, the senator was admitted to the hospital on June 14th. His wife, former Bush Labor Secretary and Trump Transportation Secretary Elaine Chow, met with Chinese officials in Beijing on June 17th. Her spokesperson put out a statement saying, and I quote, the senator's health did not warrant an immediate return to the U.S.

Pretty cold. I'm just glad Mitch McConnell wasn't alive. to see this. Chow must have been relieved that the paramedics found McConnell before she got back. It just sucks to go on a long trip, and instead of coming home to a clean house, when you just want to throw down your bags and go to sleep, you open the door and the floor is covered with Mitch McConnell. Whether it's Trump's military misadventures or Biden's foolish decision to run for another term, or Diane Feinstein losing her faculties before our eyes and dying in office in her or McConnell clinging to power or ancient incumbents shocked to find out that disgruntled voters

wants someone. Anyone knew. This is where gerontocracy leads. Say what you will about Iran, but at least they replaced their 86-year-old ruler with a much younger man after a gentle nudge from the U.S. and Israel. We killed them. Time wins in the end. You can either leave with dignity or cling to power until you become a punchline.

For example, Mitch McConnell is so old. How old is he? Scientists have actually proven that apes evolved from him. And we'll all be different when we're old, because unlike McConnell, we're going to live forever. All right. We've got a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Congressman Maxwell Frost. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love or Leave It is brought to you by Bomba. Summer's here. And it's, you know, it's outdoor time. I've been, you know what I've been doing, John? I've been using a weighted vest. I've been walking. I've been doing it.

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Donate at planparenthood.org slash defend. That's planparenthood.org slash defend. And we're back. We will have Representative Frost out in just a moment. But first, if you are a friend of the pond, thank you. And if you're not, consider this your midterm reminder. In addition to even more Ponsave America content, like the only friend's episode, episode and OpenTabs newsletter. You get ads free, breaking news, and you're supporting independent media that you can trust. Plus, you'll get a discounted ticket to all-day CricketCon and other perks. So please, please, please become a friend of the pod. Help us build a pro-democracy media company at crooked.com slash friends. And if you're in the L.A. area, go to crooked.com

slash events and come check out our new studio and amazing upcoming guests like Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Joe LaTrulyo, Wet Hot American Summer Director, David Wayne, the whole. hilarious Rachel Harris from The Hangover and more. All right. Please welcome to the stage. The only Florida man I want to read a headline about it's Congressman Maxwell Frost. Hi. Thanks for being here. Good to see you, buddy. Good to be here. All right. Boy, it's nice to have you. Yeah, good to be here. Are you still the youngest member of Congress? I'm still the youngest member. Wow. As of now. As of now. I think it's going to change next year. Is there going to change? How many people, how many younger candidates do you think we could possibly see?

There's one guy in Iowa, too, who's like four months younger than me. But hopefully he loses because we want the Democrat. Okay, great. Yeah. Fuck that guy. And then, but there will be Milakiros from Colorado who's like four months younger than me. And she will be the new youngest member. Wow.

That's cool. Does that feel like sad for you at all? I mean, it sucks to lose a fundraising pitch, you know. One of the. Yeah, I can say one of the. I guess I'll always be the first Gen Z or whatever. But it's good because if you're the youngest for a long time, that's really bad. Right.

Because, you know, I am getting older. And that means there's no young people coming in. So it's actually really good. You turned 30 next year. I do. Are you ready? I'm ready. I heard 30 is younger than 29.

Oh, that's wrong. Is that true? No. Oh, no? No, it's older for sure. Oh, okay. So you're in Congress. The Republican majority is so thin and the members are so discouraged and divided that Congress is now, the members, Republicans are,

are describing themselves as part of a zombie Congress. What is the vibe on Capitol Hill right now? Everybody's pissed off and nobody wants to be there. And the reason is because, I mean, you said it, like, this Congress isn't passing any legislation.

There's no bills being put forth. On a lot of the committees, there's no hearing. So there's just like the job that we're supposed to do, which is passing bills, isn't getting done. And so we get up there and it's usually censures or like, just like petty stuff or like the Freedom Clock holds up a vote and then like Trump brings him to the White House and gives them some new merch and

then they come back and they vote the way he wants. And people are just asking why are we here if we're not actually going to do anything? And it's pretty sad. And on even issues like Epstein, Republicans are afraid that Democrats are going to issue subpoenas. So the hearing, they're not even having real committee meetings. They're like fake meetings, right? Yeah. So on the oversight committee, the way it works is during a committee hearing, we can put forth a essentially a motion for a subpoena. We have enough Republicans who agree with us on this on the committee that we could issue subpoenas to anyone we want.

And so, Chair James Comer understands this. And so we haven't had a hearing in like four or five months. What we have is what they call roundtables, which are not on the record. They're not videoed. They're not on the congressional record. And you can't make any kind of motion during this roundtable.

So most of us have been skipping them because they're just like conversations. And I don't want to talk to you. Not you. Them. Yeah. No, I understood. But so you're, they're not just like, Comer doing Trump's bidding is refusing to have hearing, official hearing meetings because the majority on that hearing, which would include some Republicans,

would pass measures and subpoenas that would embarrass the Trump administration. Exactly. He is fully a part of the cover up from the White House to cover up the Epstein files and protect pedophiles. That sucks. Last month, Supreme Court ruled that the Department of Homeland Security. could strip temporary protected status from hundreds of thousands of Haitian and Syrian immigrants. The news has moved on from the story, but you have a, Central Florida has a big Haitian population, for example. So what actually is happening now in the wake of the ruling?

Well, the first thing is we knew this was coming, right? So we weren't just like sitting around waiting for the decision. And so Representative Iyana Presby at the beginning of the year put forth a bill to essentially extend TPS for a few years. And then her and I and a few other people put a discharge petition on the floor. And the way a discharge petition works is if you get at least 50% plus one of Congress to sign it, then it forces the vote. So we did this months ago. We got enough Republicans to sign it with us. We forced the vote and it passed the House of Representatives. One of the first discharge petitions that passed, and especially on immigration. So it's historic, but now we're waiting for the Senate to vote on it. We've been.

believe we might be able to pressure enough senators to do the right thing and vote to extend TPS, especially with the election coming up, but they won't even give it a vote. They won't even put it on the floor. And so we've been encouraging people to help us pressure the Senate to put it on the floor so we can actually have something done. This is going to be one of the best vehicles we have to protect Haitian Americans right now. So if Democrats were able to win the House in the fall, you'd have a majority that would run from moderates all the way to Democratic socialists. Do you I think the best way to deal with internal division is to put Josh Gottheimer and Bradlander to some kind of arena, some sort of fighting, get it, some sort of, it could be boxing,

it could be something more, some sort of, some sort of trial by combat. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it might be entertaining. I don't know if it would help us. But, you know, I'll say that, number one, this is what makes our party different than a Republican Party. We're not the party of one guy. We're not the party of, you know, Trump. And so we are a coalition. And that's what it looks like to be in a coalition with people. There's going to be people who disagree on different things on different sides. My hope is we can agree on some very basic things that I think will make a big difference. And for me, one of the most important things we need to do is have something we run on, right, in the midterms, win on it. And then the most important part, do it. And for me,

it has to be big, bold, transformational ideas or I think we might win the midterms, but it's not about gaining power once. It's about gaining power and keeping power. And that's one of the most important things that I think we can do. And my hope is that we'll do that as a Democratic caucus. There's a tension. So as you said, we're a big, big tent that runs the gamut, a lot of different points of view. And at the same time, you have Republicans and Republican media going and taking the most lefty person or whether they're a politician or just a random professor or somebody grab it and try to tar moderate members from swing districts that are trying to. to sort of seem more centrist.

That's their politics. And they get tagged with some of those lefty things or some of the worst statements from people that they disagree with. And so you have people like Josh Gott Emma, who's just one person to pick out, but say, like, you know, we should disavow democratic socialism. And you have others who I think even more behind the scenes are saying, hey, like, I have a tough race and these people are making my job harder. So how do you think about that? like what is their responsibility to show that people to their left are welcome in the coalition? And then what is the responsibility of maybe members on the left to understand that even if it's unfair, they are going to be used to represent others too?

I think the first thing is people need to realize that this is going to happen no matter who's elected in other districts. And sometimes I refer to it as the Florida problem. You know, a lot of times we have candidates that run statewide who the Republicans will call them socially, communist, whatever word you want to throw in there, they could be the most moderate person in the world, they're going to get called that no matter what. And then they would spend all their campaign money on ads that say, no, I'm not. I don't know about you, but no, I'm not is not a compelling message when you can't afford anything in your life. And so for me, what I hope a lot of our colleagues realize is stop trying to punch people within our coalition to try to gain points,

because regardless of whether or not that person was elected, they would call you what they want to call you no matter what. Okay. And I think once you realize that, my hope is we can focus on what we're going to do for people and not spend time explaining to people on what we're not, because I think that's part of the reason why we lost big the last election. I agree that we should have basically a series of proposals that can run, that can unite the Democratic coalition, everybody running for Congress, everybody running for the Senate. That's our agenda. But in the best case scenario, we are passing bills. that would go to Donald Trump to sign or vetoes.

How do you think about that? I think the mission for Democrats is very simple, the next Congress. Run on the bills, right? In H.R. 1 through 10 that are transformational, went on them, pass them in the first month, whatever it is. First two weeks, first month. I mean, I think about 6-4-6, right? When Democrats took the House after not having it for what?

It was like over a decade. They came in, they passed six big bills that would change people's lives. and not the first hundred days in the first hundred hours. That's the kind of action I want to say. I want us to work very quickly on big bills, and then we hit Trump for a year and a half on the fact that he's not signing them into law. This will also help us shape the Democratic primary that's going to go on at the same time because they'll be asked about the things that we passed,

and if they think that should be part of our agenda. And so I think it's really about us taking power within the party, but for me, that's the mission. and pass Big Bowl transformational change and then hit the road and tell the country that Donald Trump refuses to sign legislation that guarantees health care to all Americans, refuses the sign legislation that's going to bring down

the cost of housing and ensure that housing is a human right. And that's what I think we should be doing over the next two years. So right now there's a housing bill. As of this moment, Trump has not yet vetoed it or signed it. We're about, we're recording this on Thursday. Yeah. What's happening?

Okay, so the House and the Senate passed a bipartisan piece of legislation to help bring down the cost of housing. Is it perfect? No, it's not perfect. Will it bring down the cost of housing? Yes, it will, and we need any relief we can get. And it's like the first bipartisan thing Congress has done in the last year and a half. The Speaker of the House sets up a whole, like, beautiful stage in the Capitol. They're ready for Trump to come. They're on stage. They're talking about it, touting it. And then in the middle of the thing, he posts on Truth Social saying, I'm not signing it. unless we pass the SAVE Act. So he just doesn't show up. So the SAVE Act is the bill that he wants to make it harder for people to vote. Exactly. Because he's worried about the votes in the midterm.

Yeah, he doesn't want to sign the bill to make housing cheaper for you because he wants to make voting harder for you. And so he's refusing to sign it. The way that this will work is the bill will actually be enacted anyways if he doesn't sign it. But it's a big deal that's something like that happens without the president signing the bill. Right. And so that's where things are at right now. And it just shows he, I mean, he literally does not care of. about anybody, working people, anything like that. The SAVE Act is not going to be passed. We're

going to continue to fight against it. And that's where it's at. Now, we talked about the gerontocracy in the opening of the show. And there have been a lot of moments where older legislators reveal that they no longer know the world. They're describing the internet as a series of tubes. They're asking Mark Zuckerberg, if computer viruses are still dangerous, if you print your emails, that kind of thing. But let's see if you can recognize these. That's a good idea. Yeah. That's a good idea. These are people that print their emails. You work with a lot of people that print their emails.

But let's see if you can recognize these very important historic technologies in a game we're calling name. They did a great job. That's great. Here's how it works. I'm going to show you an item that lives in my millennial bones, but that you may not know about because of your youth. You know, I am elder Gen Z. You are, you are. The oldest one can be. You're the oldest you can be. Yes, yes, that's right, because I think one year later would be kind of cusp.

You know, you're kind of right on the edge there. But see, I think if there are other Gen Z members, are you going to start a Gen Z caucus? Because once there's two of you, that's a caucus. It is. Two's a party. I mean, we might have to. I think you should. I think you should.

Here we go. First up, name that thing. Not, don't. You're just. Um, what kind of, who the fuck? Sorry, that was my staff. What about this suggestion? Was that, you know, it wasn't my staff.

What about this thought? You were supposed to be the one to answer. You know, you're the only person who spoke. We've got a hundred people here, and you're just answering the questions. Your mother, and she does that. And you're not even Gen Z. You're just, this is the problem. This is what happened to our country.

Do you understand? I bet you have a really nice house you got for 80, in like 1990. Unbelievable. Sitting, hey, I'm going to Costco, getting the hot dogs. God damn it. It's a fax machine. You got it.

Yeah, yeah. Next up, Congressman Frost, name that thing. Whole puncher. You got it. That's a whole bunch. This one's going to be tricky. Name that thing. No, I remember seeing this on the commercials on Nickelodeon.

It's the hop-skipper jump. So close. So close. You're in the ballpark. Do anyone here want to shout it out now? It's skip it. Skip it. I got one word, right? It's skip it. It's skip it. It's not to be confused with this. A bop it. That's a bop it. Yeah, yeah. I know bop it. Pop it. Pull it. Smile. Yeah. Smile. Yeah. I don't do that. Pull it. Twist it. Yeah, yeah. We got it. Yeah. We got it. We got it. Hey, name that thing. Oh, Tomogachi. Yes. Yes. I have one. You did? I did.

Yeah. How'd you do? It died. Yeah. Yeah. Many times, but I had it. Name that thing. Ooh, that's the, uh, per, but it's a projector.

Yeah. But there's another name? No, no, it's a projector. Oh, it's a projector. It's a certain kind. We'll give it. Slide projector. Slide projector, overhead projector.

Overhead projector. That's how we knew it. That's how we knew it. Yeah. I got on a lot of trouble with one of these in school once. What'd you do? Huh? What?

Hey, what you do? Let's keep going. Let's, No, tell us. My staff is doing this, I think. No, I'm joking. What did you do with an overhabbered? No, I mean, I didn't do anything bad.

Believe it or not, when I was in elementary school, I wasn't the most well-behaved kid. Really? Yeah. What happened? What did you do? The thing was on, and the teacher turned around, and I, like, put a finger on it. Oh. And, like, it was like one of the, bad finger.

Oh, the bad finger. Oh, a classic. Yeah. So I got in trouble for that. But everyone laughed, and so I think it was worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you get in trouble as a kid alone? I did. I did. Was it an attempt, but you were like a, were you like a got in trouble but the teachers loved you kind of a kid that gets in trouble? Yeah, yeah. I wasn't like punching people. No, no, I mean. I was like talking too much, you know, and now I talk too much for work.

That max was a trouble maker. Yeah, exactly. You see that. Yeah, exactly. But they liked you, but they liked me. But they liked me. Were you popular? It depends when.

I would say people always knew who I was, but at first it was because I was because I was talking too much. And then I got really involved in student government and banned and all that. And then it became because of that. Were you like a one, were you like, were you like, most likely to succeed? Did you win any superlatives in high school? I did. Yeah. I won most likely to be president. Wow. Wow. Wow. I know. I'm ashamed. No, no, I think you should be. I think that's no. No, I didn't win that one. Oh, wow. That was someone else. I won. Wow, already patting the bio. I know. I actually remember. It sounds like somebody that would run for president.

Yeah. I won most like best at academics, which was crazy because I wasn't. I know that I was bad, but I was like a good B student. You know what I mean? But you had a, but you had the energy of someone that was getting A's? I guess so. That's even better. Yeah, yeah. That's cool. Yeah, because you know, I don't have an undergraduate degree. You don't. And, and when I was running, you know, or after I won, I was in it on an interview and then someone asked about it. And I said, yeah, I actually don't have it. And they said, what? Why are we just finding about this for the first time? And I said, well, no one ever asked. Like no one asked during the campaign. I think it's because I taught good. Yeah. You know? Everyone just assumed.

Yeah, you have college diploma energy. I do. Yeah. Yeah. Degree mills. Fuck them. All right. Hey, name that thing.

I know who it is. Who is it? Who is? Nope, don't. You shut the fuck up. Who is this? Nobody help him. Who is this?

It starts with an E. Nope. Don't answer. It does? It starts with a fuck up. E? No, it doesn't. But it might sound like it starts with an E. It depends on maybe

maybe in Florida. With that, maybe with that swamp accent of yours. I missed that class. E? Uh-huh. It's not E-or. It's not E-Ore. It's um,

I, ah, ah, ah, Al. Al, al. Al. Alfie. Alfie. It's Alph. Alf. It's Alph. Alph. Okay. Alf. You don't know about Alf.

I know who he is. I know this guy. I know this man. Yeah, you know him. I know him. We all know Alf. Yeah, I'm very familiar with Alf. I just don't remember the name.

This might be right before me, you know. No, for sure. Well, I was, because I'm 43. This was on when I was a very small child. Yeah, so I was in here. So it was before. You weren't even here for Alf. Yeah.

You weren't here for Alf. But I know him. We all know him. Yeah. We all know him. Yeah. Eats cats. Yeah.

Like pets? No, yeah, he'll eat your cat. That's one of his things. And he likes human women. Was that endearing or something? I think it's kind of one of those 80s things where he's like, well, he's going to eat your cat. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. All right. And he has crushes on human women, which doesn't really make sense. What network was this on? One of the three. Okay, okay. One of those three that we had at the time back then.

All right. We were walking up to the television to change the channel. Yeah. I watch TV. Yeah. Any other final thoughts about Alf or otherwise? No. Thank you, Maxwell Frost. Thank you. Thank you. He'll be back for second thoughts. And we'll be right back with Langston, Kerman and Margaret Cho.

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Please welcome to the stage. It's two of our favorite comedians and two returning champions, it's Langston Kerman and Margaret Cho. Hi, good to see you, buddy. Good to see you. Hi, good to see you. Thanks for being here.

Come on in. Okay, thank you. Yeah, okay. Hi, everybody. Hello. Hi. Fuck you. Yeah.

Welcome back to you both. Thank you. What's happening? I'm excited that I got to meet Maxwell Frost. Yeah, he's great. He's great. Can he be president? Now?

I actually think, no. No, he's not old enough. He's not old enough. 35, right? 35. He's got a couple years. Yeah, you've got to have chest hair to have that job. Aw.

Yeah. He's great. Show us. Okay. That's a member of Congress. You show some respect. They don't behave. I'm not going to behave.

That's fair. That's fair. That's right. That's right. Now, Margaret, I wanted to ask you about this because you've talked about it a bit recently, but you turned down a role in heated rivalry because you didn't want to go to Canada. Yeah, this is awful. Okay, this is awful.

So I had an offer. I was last year and they sent me the pilot and I love Litter Kenny. It was Jacob Tierney's other show. And I loved the pilot and I really wanted to do it. But this was like right when the ice first started disappearing people. This was also like, I mean, it just was so scary. This is the beginning of it. And when I was a little girl, my father was deported and I had to go with him.

And I wasn't even two years old. So I was to be separated from my mother. I went with him to Korea. And I mean, I don't have any memories of that time, but I know that it was traumatic. Like, I was separated from another for years. And when we came back, it was just hard to kind of connect with her again and kind of understand my family again. And so I have like really deep-seated like ice trauma from my childhood.

So I thought, I don't know if I want to go and cross the border at this time because I spend all my days talking about how Trump is a piece of shit that, you know, like all I do online is just talk about how much I hate this administration and I hate what's happening. And so I just was really, I was really scared. And so I, I turned it down. I really regret it. I should have just become Canadian. I should have just straight up defected to Canada. Yeah, or just like, yeah. Yeah. Because I could have been, I could have just been like the third wheel. I could have just watched all of that gay sex happen in front of me.

So people don't realize this, but the original idea was that your character was meant to be in all of those sex scenes. Yeah, that's the thing. What's going on? I was just, I missed out. I missed out. You were like, uh-oh, getting pretty gay in here. It was all that stuff. It was like all the time. It was weird actually. I think it's probably honestly better that that was cut down. So because less farcical, more romantic. I will say I am still waiting on my offer for heated rivalry, and I pray it comes. I'd like to point out that they're having gay sex.

The second season is called Heedeled rivalry too. I pray it comes. Oh, yeah. I love it. Go ahead, fellas. It's free now. It's perfect. It's so perfect.

Langston, have you ever turned down a role you regret turning down? Never once. Never once as an opportunity. come my way and I said no thank you I mostly just say yes to it so yeah I I that's terrible I usually say yes as well I usually say yes to everything that's why it was really hard to turn it down because I also loved the show as it was and then and then I just didn't think about it for a while because you know it's like okay I'm just going to put it out of my mind and now it's the biggest phenomenon phenomenon it's great I'm happy for them I'm happy with them yeah you guys don't

sound happy for that. I said that weird. I don't know why I said that. I'm happy for that. Well, I love that, you know, it's we're eroticizing hockey. Who would have thunk it? Like, that to me is really amazing. I didn't notice that there was hockey in it. Is there a lot of hockey in that? There's a lot of hockey. I saw the guys, some of those scenes with the guys in it, but they, and they play hockey in it. Yeah, they play hockey. I would have, if you, a thousand bucks, I would have except basketball. I will say I haven't seen the show in part because of how much

people sold the sex. They made it seem so primary that it almost felt like I was tuning into a porno and in that way I said, I have my own porno, I don't need. You're afraid it would make you gay, if it'd be too hot for you and that's it and then you're gay rules or rules.

Yeah. Yeah, we have porn at home. You don't need to outsource. I got my regular schmegler used to it porn. Yeah, you don't get out of your comfort zone. I'm a coward. I always have been.

So, Lengen, your podcast with David Borey, my mama told me you deep dive into conspiracy theories. What is a conspiracy theory that right now you 100% believe in? Oh, recently we were talking about the possibility that Elon Musk was the first person to get the neuralink. And that's why he acts like that. Oh, that's interesting. He tested himself and now he fucking doesn't know what to do with his arms and shit because... His personality does have like a waymo quality. It's a real car that can't move because something's in the way.

Right. He's been controlled from the Philippines. Absolutely. That's right. That's what's happening. Oh, Elon's stuck in the crosswalk again. Yeah. Those people are never getting those salads.

Who downloaded Hitler on Elon? They shout that in the control room, I think. They downloaded Hitler on Elon again. Margaret, do any conspiracy theories you believe? I'm really still stuck on, I do think, I still think that Katie Perry is John Benny Ramsey. Whoa. I'm hearing about this one for the first time. This was one, this was kind of popular, I think, maybe in the aughts.

This was early Katie Perry Yeah, this is earlier Katie Perry And it was never challenged And then I keep seeing it So I think it, I don't know why But I also do think also that Ted Cruz is a Zodiac killer Oh, that's interesting The theory is that his dad was a Zodiac killer

Oh, okay And he is the son of the Zodiac killer Okay And equally sucky Yeah, yeah He's not smart enough to be the Zodiac Killer No, I think he's Because he was like, the Zodiac killer like made up codes that nobody could crack.

He's got real nepo serial killer vibes. I agree. I'm a little bit stuck on the Katie Perry thing. I know. It's really like involving. You're like, oh, wait, maybe. That's, I'll be honest. I'm not feeling that because who benefits?

Because usually with a conspiracy theory, it's like, you know, follow the money. Who's out there making, who's out there being like, ah, step one? And I'm sorry, I'm going to go back. What was step one? So she's not dead. She's not dead. And then time goes by and she's in some sort of secret training facility to become a pop star. I guess, yes.

So why couldn't. She likes it. Suddenly. But right, she's kissing a girl. She's having California dreams. But why couldn't the person Katie Perry was be a pop star? You know what I'm saying? I know.

It's weird. It's very, I mean, I don't know. Why could have? It's a really fun conspiracy because it's completely. Completely hinged on them doing side-by-side pictures of John Bona and Katie Barry. I see. And they do look a lot of like in the way that adults and children can sometimes look alike. Right.

But not in a way that makes it proof of anything. It's fun. It is fun. Because it is like an age progression photograph. Like you just kind of think, well, why would they do? Nobody benefits. I see. Nobody benefits.

Here's my conspiracy theory that I've recently come to at least be open to, which is, And I had no idea that this was something that's really been out there, and it is, which is that that Sirhan Sirhan didn't actually kill RFK, that he may have fired, but it was actually potentially friendly fire that killed RFK. Because Ben Hathcote, who is a video producer at Crooked, he made a documentary about Thomas Noguchi, the coroner of Los Angeles, who believed that RFK was shot from behind. and Siron, Siron was in front. Wow. And apparently, RFK Jr. has come to believe this as well. And I realized, oh, I don't believe things that RFK Jr. says, you know what I mean? But this might be a broken clock brainworm situation.

Right, that's true. The brainworm is correct twice a day. That's as the saying goes. That's where the saying comes from. That's right. And that is what RFK says at night. Hey, Langston. Yeah.

So wait, you're in a new pilot for NBC. Yeah, yeah. With Keith David and Jake Johnson. Yeah, we got picked up and we're going to shoot this fall and it'll release sometime next year. I don't know, I'm not in charge, but yeah. Thanks. Yeah, it's pretty cool.

And you're solving mysteries. I am, I play a private detective amongst a group of private detectives and I would say I'm the worst at it of the collection, which is good. I like that. But over time, you'll probably get better at it on the show. I doubt it.

I actually think from the energy I'm getting, they're going to keep me stupid the whole time. That seems to be the vibe. Because sometimes in shows, they'll start them out, and they'll be a character, and they won't be good at the job. And then somebody at the network

will give them the notes being like, make them better at the job. And so in the first season, they don't know what they're doing, but the time you get to the third season, they can, like, see The Matrix. Yeah. This is from,

and they're brilliant guys, Dan Gore and Luke Del Trudegy, who wrote Bruce, Brooklyn 9-9 and made all that stuff. And I think they do a good job of not changing a thing about those characters. They just keep them fun and stupid the whole time. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah, yeah.

I like, great. See, I don't turn anything down. That's wonderful. I'm lucky for us for fans who can watch you. Yeah, it'll be fun. Thanks. That's great. Yeah.

We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love it or leave. It is brought to you by BILTS. Here's a question. Are you getting rewarded for paying your rent or mortgage right now? Did you even know that that was an option? If the answer is no, you need to check out Bilt. Becoming a Bilt member means earning points on every housing payment no matter where you live. Built points can be redeemed for flights, hotels, lift rides, Amazon.com purchases, future housing payments, and more.

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Yay. And I miss this before we went to the break, but everybody should go to margaretchow.com slash tour for tickets because you're on tour. I'm on tour. That's right. And you should listen to my mama told me wherever you get your podcast. It's such a great show. Thanks.

Yeah. I really live. You don't have to clap. It's poison. I'm spreading poison. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's good. This poison's nice. This is good poison.

It goes down smooth, though. It goes down really smooth. So now every week we see a million news stories that have us thinking, boy, I'm glad I'm not that guy. Yeah. Tonight, Margaret and Langston, you'll be that guy in a segment we're calling News Your Own Adventure. Yeah. Here's how we're going.

I'm going to give you both two news stories, and you're deciding which one you'd rather be inside of. Okay. All right. Are you ready? Yeah. First up, would you rather live right next door to that Manhattan building that's about to collapse, or travel to every state that has reported cases of that explosive diarrhea disease and wash your hands in the airport bathrooms? Well, Margaret, please. I have a, I'm kind of, I'm kind of, I kind of want to be around the diarrhea because I, I,

am on a GLP1 and shits are hard to come by I don't don't have them anymore and so I look at diarrhea as we oh you know the grass is always greener the diarrhea is always runnier yeah no for sure for sure

like you know they pave paradise and put up a constipated person yeah you know in a sense it's interesting it's as if constipation is like the picture of Dorian Gray in the attic you know you get to be so thin but do you have a deep dark secret, which is that there's poo going all the way up to your neck. It's all poo. And then your

body's just like wrapping around it. You're, you know, and it's, it's very frustrating when you can't shit. And so it, diarrhea seems like this far off thing that it's just out of your grasp. And so I think it's cool. I think you should go to the hospital where all these people have had diarrhea for three weeks because of this parasite are. And you should just be like, you people don't know how good you have it. Grow up. Yeah, I too would take the diarrhea. I have three children at home and I could use a break.

I like that. I like that. They're trying, I think they have temporary supports now to keep this building stable, according to Mayor Zonarandani, and that guy's on a roll, you know? Is this building next to anything important, or is it just Manhattan, therefore we're worried? Yeah, it's that. I mean, everything, it's Manhattan, everything's important.

Everything's important place full of important people doing important things. Not important enough to have maintained. it but important enough to worry about the people around it. Yeah, you hate when your building has those beams like that. You hate to see that. You hate to see beams like that. One construction worker apparently told the press,

the eye beams are bending like cigarettes in there. Oh, no. So that's bad. Next up, would you rather be required to wear Kylie Jenner's new line of meta glasses at all times? Or would you rather let Instagram use your profile photo to make AI deepfakes? Ooh. Okay. So Kylie is this new eyewear

so that you can use AI via your sunglasses and the AI will speak to you in Kylie Jenner's voice. Oh. Hey, Meta. What's the weather like right now in New York City? Checking the weather in New York City right now. It's around 68 degrees in New York City right now.

Light showers and clouds. Humidity is high. So the range of these up tonight and tomorrow with sunny with a high near 84. Thanks. She's in front of an open window. It would be so funny if those just exploded on her face. Now, the other part of this is Instagram on Tuesday, META rolled out a new AI model named Amuse Image

that people can use to create deepfakes from celebrity photos and even photos of just people with public accounts. You have to actively shut this off, which you can do under settings, under settings, sharing, and reuse. That's just a genuine, people should go into Instagram and go under settings, sharing and reuse, and you'll see that there's an option you can toggle off to not allow their AI to troll your face to make other things with it. So that's just something you can do if you'd like. This is an honest question I have is while I desperately want AI and, all of these apps to not be able to use my likeness, isn't so much of our likeness already

across the interwebs that we don't really get to consent anymore? So, yes, but if what has happened is a lot of these models, before we were paying attention, went across the internet and grabbed everything and used it to train the models, That's a big problem. They've already used intellectual property in ways to kind of replace the kind of work artists would do that a lot of people do. I think that's in writing and a lot of things. That's a big problem. However, if they can't continue to do that, right, then those models will be trapped in a moment.

You're saying if we step up now, we can make AI look like happy feet. Yes, sure. Yes, like happy feet. Yeah. Yeah. And like AI. A little bad, but we get technology existed here. For sure.

Yeah. something like that, over time. And then also it's like, oh, wow, AI certainly didn't replace all the jobs. All their slang was from 2013. Sure. You know? Yeah, AI keeps calling me fam. Yeah, you don't have to worry.

Hey, come on. Someone that's calling you a fam all the time, that's not going to replace all the jobs. That's not a good guy. I'm not trusting me. But this is all just so that people can make porn. The whole thing about AI, AI is just for porn. That's why they want it. That's why anybody wants it so they can make porn.

And then meta glasses, like, this thing is so insidious because men have been using their metaglasses to, like, surveil women and take, like, unsolicited photos of women and videos of women. And now they're marketing this to women. And, you know, they gave a bunch of metaglasses. Kylie reached out to all these female influencers and gifted them. And they all made videos on social media using them. So, like, men can now have a taste of their own medicine by being surveilled. So it's just, like, I don't know, it's just a big porn generator. Damn.

I think putting cameras everywhere is probably going to have been a mistake. Yeah. Agreed. Yeah. Next up, but you have to choose now. Would you rather wear the glasses or let Meta use your photos for deepfakes? Or just use their photos for their image stuff? I'm never going to have the courage to make my own porno.

So I think let AI have it, if that's the case, I'm going to let Meta have it and let them put me in some cool pornos and see. Get in there. See how I do. Oh, that's correct? I was going to choose the glasses. Yeah. I want to wear the glasses. I would just wear the glasses and not photograph anything.

Yeah, because here's the thing. I know that these things are all very bad, but wouldn't it be kind of nice sometimes had glasses where you would say, like, someone would come up and say, so good to see you again. And then the little glasses would be like, this is Derek. You met him three weeks ago at this party, but you were drunk. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah.

That's true. is cool. I'd like it even more if Kylie Jenner whispers it in my ear. This is Derek. She's a little loud. He can hear it. Now we've got a conversation. Yeah, now it's embarrassing. All right. Last one. Would you rather manage to renew your

passport last minute right before a really important work trip, but you have to get the fuck-ass America 250 passport with Trump? Or you have to be the head of NATO and pretend you like Donald Trump in order to try and salvage the most important alliance on earth. Here we have a moment of what it is like to be. Mark Rutherton.

Secretary General of NATO. You've been credited as sort of being the Trump whisperer on behalf of this alliance. You're shaking your head. The point is this. I just liked him, man. Mark, you sit next to Donald Trump in moments where he talks about conquering Greenland,

talks about lashing out at allies like Spain, starting trade wars. Things that it doesn't seem like the old Mark Rode would approve of. Does this have any effect on your self-respect when you sit next to him like that and say nothing? Got him. Can you imagine? Hey, Mark, you're getting fucking bullied by Donald Trump in front of the whole world.

It's embarrassing. Can you look your wife in the eyes? That's a question from a very handsome journalist. Yeah, he's a big guy. He's a big handsome guy asking a question. That adds insult to injury in a sense. It's so embarrassing. God, if I would choose, I would have to choose the Trump passport because it's going to be,

it's going to be great to have to remember when he's dead. Oh, good. Here's what I was thinking. So my partner is trans, and that may create some weather if we go to the airport. Maybe it's a good idea to have the Trump 250 passport. You get a jerk of an agent there, but it's like, they're kind of like, wait, what's going on? They got the Trump passport, but it's not the gender I want it to be. I'm confused.

You know what I'm saying? It'll be helpful. This is a force field. That's a, yeah, this is like, you get out of jail. Amazing. This is like those people that put like, I donate to police on the back of their car. They think they can speed without repercussion. Awesome.

Also, he looks awesome. It's a good picture of it. It's a good picture. It's a good picture. It's a screen grab from the apprentice. You never need to stand with your fists on a desk like that. That's actually a deeply uncomfortable way to say. It is if you're shitting yourself.

That's a normal stance. Now you're making Margaret feel even worse. She has to hate this guy and he's pooping when he wants. You're jealous. That's right. You're right. You're totally right. We'll be right back.

And we're back. Yay. For our last second, please welcome back to the stage. It's Congressman Maxwell Frost. Okay. Come on back over here. Welcome back.

All right. Welcome to second thoughts. Here's how it works. Our producers have been watching this show carefully, and they've written down a list of things that they believe I should regret for mistakes I made along the way, and so we'll have a chance to express our second.

If you have any second thoughts about this evening, I would love to hear them. Also, we are introducing something for the first time, which is called a kudos. And that is where the producers have decided, and this is rare, that I've done something worthy of praise in the show, which has earned me one M&M. And we'll find out what that is. I genuinely, it's the first time it's ever happened. It's like a Paul Hollywood handshake. Let's see, my first regret.

The audience laughed at a joke I told, and I responded with, shame on you. I read Thomas Massey's tweet, and his tweet got a bigger laugh than any joke I told about it. That's a bummer. Means you have to have them on now. You got to have them on. Thomas Massey, come on. Come on. Come on.

We want to talk for 20 minutes. Talk to 20 minutes. Yeah. So a lot of these people, it's so funny. Like, oh, you talk to Mitch McConnell. Uh-huh. And then, so that's the ghost of Christmas. present.

Scott Jennings, who's going to visit you about your past, and then who's going to visit you about the future, and then you'll apologize for everything you've done. I also attack that woman

who said fax machine. Yeah. I love that woman. We like you. Yeah, we like you. We're fans. We're fans. And it says here

that I kept talking about Alf to Maxwell Frost. I really didn't let Alph go. Do you have any regrets about your time here? Alf sounds bad. He eats cats.

I mean, do people still like him? He never actually successfully ate any cats as far as I remember. He was mostly threatening to eat cats. Oh. Yeah. He was hungry for cat a lot and then could never quite get his hands on. Oh, so he never ate it. You said he ate cats.

Well, it's his prefer, you're right. Maybe that was misleading. I think there's implied in the show that cats, cats need to worry and cats may disappear around out. But no named cat has ever. That we know of. They didn't follow him his whole life. That we knew of. The family.

They're eating the dogs. The family never came home to a massacre. Yeah, on a very special. He might just be cleanly. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Was the name Alien Life Form? I don't think so, yeah. I think that's right.

I think that's right. Is that the name of the show? Well, that was his, it's the acronym for his name, it's Alf, alien life form. That's the government. So he's an alien. He's on the run. Yeah, he's an alien. Yeah, he's an alien.

What did you think Alf was? I thought he was just like they found him in a case. or something. Just creature. You thought it could have been creature. Creature is different than alien. You're right.

You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. You're absolutely right. All right. Beautifully said. Beautifully sad. Thank you.

Thank you. Let's see. One regret I have for Langston and Margaret, I tried to bring Dorian Gray into constipation. I thought it was apt. I don't know. I thought that was apt

because it is like my colon is like in a stuck state that I'm watching. It is the portrait of you that is your colon being constipated is the equivalent of a portrait of you in the attic where you're very fat. Yeah. It's just that. It's that. Right?

You got to get, so I started, because I'm fiber maxing right now. Okay. Yeah. So I'm eating tons of fiber. That's cool. And I got this little like baby food salad patch. Pouch. Yeah.

And so I have one like every morning. It has half your fiber for the day. Oh, excellent. Okay. Yeah. And I drink it. It kind of tastes like shit. but it helps you shit.

Oh, good. Yeah, it helps you, that's cool. And it helps you with your fiber. Yeah, because to get your fiber for the day, you'd have to have like a ton of vegetables. Like it's a crazy amount. Whenever you see. I actually, I want to take it up with the scientists because they're like,

this is the amount of fiber you need per day and not enough people are getting it. And then you see what it takes to get. You're like, well, I've eaten a whole head of lettuce. How much is that? One? Fuck. Like, where are these people that are eating all the amount of like to get, like, when you think about calories and cookies, you're like,

oh my god, I ate one cookie and it's so many calories. Then you see the fiber you required to get to. It's like, what do I say? Eat a whole fuck. What the fuck? Yeah. Yeah. So you got out of the gummies.

I will say I don't. The scientists I trust the least are food scientists. Totally. Because of their history with the food pyramid alone. Yes. I go, these are not trustworthy individuals. They told me milk was very important. Bread was like the base for the whole thing.

Six to 10 servings of bread for day. That's what they. said. That's what these scientists said. And then, yeah, they're like, six to ten servings of bread per day. If you'd like have an apple. Treat yourself at the top, but certainly eat all that bread.

My kudos from the team is heated rivalries too, colon, I pray he comes. That's good, so I get one M&M. I appreciate that. Any final thoughts or regrets about tonight's episode? Anything you wish you had done differently? Well, you talked about the Trump passed for, but you didn't talk about his post

about it. Oh, yeah, tell us that. Yeah, because he made a post saying that the passport will say welcome but be good which shows like the passport is for the fucking americans going other places welcome to what like welcome to what does he think the passport's for people coming here right you only never you only need your passport to come home because you left yeah but he obviously thinks that it's for other people coming here because he said it says welcome but be good Right, welcome. So he's, you know, stupid. He's so stupid.

He's so just plain stupid. Yes, I think sometimes the challenge of politics in this era is there's a simple truths become boring. And so you have to find interesting and intricate ways to describe something quite simple, which is at some point, oh, he's just stupid and bad. Yeah. And that's our show. Thank you so much to Representative Maxwell Frost, to Langston Kerman, to Margaret Cho.

There are 116 days until the mid-year. terms, we will be back next week. Have a great weekend. Love and or Leave it is a cricket media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Halle Keeper, Sarah Lazarus, Roman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Tolls, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroath. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.