Lovett or Leave It - Season's Cheatings

Episode Date: December 10, 2022

There’s no place like Lovett Or Leave It for the holidays, as we gather with our loved ones: an AI chatbot who answers to our every whim. Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford bring the end-of-year vibes way up when they tackle our prestige drama soundscape. A goblin (Danielle Perez) stops by to rail against goblin mode. The one-and-only Jennifer Tilly bets you can't answer the question, “Was I In This?” Curtis Cook and Danielle Perez say “Good Boning America” to cheating scandals, and we get heated as we gather around the Rant Wheel. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Hello, Los Angeles. Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else, and a big shout-out to the 51.4% of Georgians who wanted a senator who forms more complete sentences than complete fetuses. Woo! I'm trying to think if that math works. We've got a great show for you tonight.

Danielle Perez and Curtis Cook will decide which extramarital affairs are cool and which aren't. A goblin is here with some words for the Oxford English Dictionary. Jennifer Tilly goes toe-to-toe with an audience member for Was I In This? This time with gambling. Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford play Hurdle with prestige drama theme songs

as we try not to get sued by HBO and the rant wheel because the weather is getting cold and so are our hearts. But first, let's get into it. What a week. WNBA star Brittany Griner has been released from Russian detention after the Biden administration negotiated a prisoner swap involving arms dealer

Victor Boot, also known as the Merchant of Death. Obviously, congratulations are in order, so welcome home, Russian arms dealer Victor the Merchant

of Death Boot. Hope you get to eat at your favorite restaurant. It sounds bad, but these independent death merchants are all getting wiped out by Amazon anyway, so it's fine. It is a relief that Greiner will be allowed to return to a country that doesn't incarcerate people for nonviolent drug offenses.

Hundreds of New York Times employees began a 24-hour walkout on Thursday following months of frustration over contract negotiations. This is our time to shine, said the New York Times employees began a 24-hour walkout on Thursday following months of frustration over contract negotiations. This is our time to shine, said the New York Post. Who here knows what a Merrick Garland is? Two of the Times' top White House reporters, Peter Baker and Michael Scheer, however, reportedly opted to not participate in the walkout. In fairness, could America survive a day without stories like, for Trump's acolytes, the truth itself is on trial? Or, as the debt ceiling approaches, will partisan rancor reign supreme? Could America survive a day without stories like, for Trump's acolytes, the truth itself is on trial,

or as the debt ceiling approaches, will partisan rancor reign supreme? Senator Raphael Warnock defeated Herschel Walker in a runoff election to hold his seat and increase the Senate majority to 51-49. When reached for comment, Herschel Walker said, he looks forward to spending more time trying to prevent himself from having a family. And while we all celebrate, as of today, with over 3.5 million votes cast,

Warnock was about 100,000 votes, a little under 3% ahead. That means 1.7 million people voted for Herschel Walker. That's the majority of most counties in Georgia. I don't have a joke here. I just think everybody, we should just keep our wits about us. Since there's no longer a 50-50 split in the Senate, Vice President Kamala Harris will likely be needed less frequently as a tiebreaker. This means she has more time for her other main job, checking the mailbox.

In other great news, the Trump Organization was convicted of all 17 counts of tax fraud, which includes charge of conspiracy and falsifying business records. Responding in a statement, Trump referred to the convictions as a Manhattan witch hunt. A Manhattan witch hunt, you say? It was finally time to ask the question, while these prosecutors were hunting for witches, why was no one hunting for me? Trump also truthed a real humdinger over the weekend, saying, Do you throw the presidential election results of 2020 out and declare the rightful winner? Or do you have new election?

A massive fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution. Here's the thing. We all have a friend who's gotten too online and Trump just needs like a childhood friend. You know, even though they don't talk, they still have that ease, you know, that you never lose, that you can pick up right away, even if it's been years, to say like, hey, bud, I saw some of the posts, you doing okay? Oh, your whole life is based on transactional relationships, including your marriage. You're extremely lonely, even though

you don't have the emotional acuity or openness to consider a word like that. Trump's unhinged post came after the release of internal Twitter emails showing how employees debated how to handle a 2020 New York Post story about Hunter Biden and his laptop, specifically Hunter Biden's leaked nudes. Now, most people would need more than one mental step between Twitter-deleted pictures of Hunter Biden's dick and the Constitution must be abolished. But that's what makes Trump a once-in-a-generation talent. During oral arguments on Monday, conservatives on the Supreme Court seemed sympathetic to a Colorado web designer arguing that she had a First Amendment right to refuse to work on wedding websites for same-sex couples. At one point, Justice Samuel Alito asked this. If there's a black Santa at the other end of the mall and he doesn't want to have his picture taken with a child who's dressed up in a Ku Klux Klan outfit.

dressed up in a Ku Klux Klan outfit. The lawyer representing Colorado said no, as a child KKK member is not protected under the state's anti-discrimination law. Not yet, anyway. And that's why we do the work. In another hypothetical, Alito referenced the dating site JDate, describing it as a dating service,

I gather, for Jewish people. After Justice Elena Kagan jumped in to confirm he was correct, Alito said this. Next, a Jewish person asks a Jewish photographer to take a photograph for his AshleyMadison.com dating profile. I'm not suggesting that. I mean, she knows a lot of things. I'm not suggesting that. To which Kagan replied, and perhaps my colleague, Justice Alito, is familiar with this website, antiabortionsexualfantasies.com. What do you need from me? That was fucking gold.

Dozens of people were arrested by police in Germany under suspicion of an attempted coup. Among those arrested were a former judge, a paratrooper, and Prince Heinrich XIII, who maintains his title even though Germany abolished the monarchy over 100 years ago. Prince Heinrich is a leader of the far-right QAnon-aligned group called Reichsbürger, who believe that the German government has been illegitimate since the end of World War II. The group's ranks have ballooned since the onset of the pandemic of the pandemic as the QAnon conspiracy spread throughout Germany,

leading the group to be renamed Double Reichberger. The point is, we've been dealing with neo-Nazi freaks over here for years. It's about time Germany had to deal with QAnon freaks over there. That feels like a fair cultural exchange. After a week of public backlash, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors has unanimously voted to pull back on their policy that would authorize the police's use of robots with deadly force.

A spokesperson for the board explained, This decision came once we saw the outcry of the people of San Francisco and has nothing to do with the dozens of time-traveling androids that keep showing up around the city looking for John Connor. androids that keep showing up around the city looking for John Connor. Speaking of San Francisco, officials are investigating Twitter HQ for possible code violations after a photo surfaced showing beds that were added after Elon Musk's takeover. Although, at least Elon is technically letting people work from home again. Because they have to live at work now. Because he's making Twitter better. Now, before

you take these beds as evidence that Musk is overworking his remaining staff, you can relax. Not everything is an evil scheme. Like, he might just put the beds there in case any of his employees need help conceiving. Meanwhile, a federal investigation was launched into Neuralink after sources say the company has killed 1,500 animals thanks to Elon Musk pushing for faster progress before they were ready.

Of course, their head of animal research, Dr. Oz, disagrees. A woman was kicked off of a New Jersey-bound Spirit Airlines flight in New Orleans after asking a Latino family next to her if they were smuggling cocaine. after asking a Latino family next to her if they were smuggling cocaine. It then took seven deputies to get her off the plane and restrained as she started to attack and bite and kick the officers, injuring six of them. She then screamed they were all going to lose their jobs and get arrested since she is former Governor Chris Christie's niece. She was subsequently handcuffed to a wheelchair. You can take Chris Christie's niece off of Spirit Airlines,

but you can't take the Spirit Airlines out of Chris Christie's niece. She reportedly shouted, Do you know who I am? Which is easily the funniest thing a person can say while flying Spirit Airlines. A spokesperson for Meta, formerly Facebook, said the company might stop serving its users news stories if Congress passes a law

that makes it easier for news organizations to negotiate for fair compensation with the company. Personally, I shudder to imagine a world in which Facebook users have a distorted understanding of world events. The Postal Service and Death Cab for Cutie have announced a co-headlining tour in 2023 to celebrate the

20th anniversary of their respective 2003 records. So congratulations to everyone that is exactly my age and demographic. I saw it. I was like, ooh. ABC has pulled Good Morning America co-hosts Amy Roback and TJ Holmes after the Daily Mail

reported that the anchors, both of whom are married, were having an affair. More horrifying was apparently while they were having sex, TJ Holmes after the Daily Mail reported that the anchors, both of whom are married, were having an affair. More horrifying was apparently while they were having sex, TJ Holmes said, this just in, me. And finally, TikTok celebrity Noodle the Pug, aka the No Bones Dog, died

on Friday at the age of 14. Now, he will have only bones. When we come back, the dulcet tones of Prestige TV. And we're back! I think we can all agree the vibes in America are mixed at best,

and right before Christmas, no less. Santa didn't die on the cross for this. What? I don't know how Santa, that doesn't make any, I don't know what the custom is. Look at my sweatshirt. It says gay Jews on it. Here to offer their thoughts on how to possibly course correct on the 2022 vibe before it's too late, welcome to the stage, it's two of the hosts of the awesome Vibe Check podcast, Sam Sanders and Zach Stafford.

Hi, how are you? Thanks for being here. Sam, good to see you. Now you'll recall, John, the last time I was here on the show was a big global event that night. There was. We were doing this show right before

the new Beyonce album came out. You remember that? Here's the thing about doing this show. I've done it so many times that once it's over, it's fucking gone. Okay. It's like when you took an AP test and then that's it. You don't know anything that happened in Europe. It goes like plague, reformation, maybe, then Napoleon, then Merkel. Yeah.

Well, I'm happy to say since the last time I saw you, me and probably Zach have been playing the Beyonce album every day. Every day. Every fucking day. Every day. And we're hoping that tonight is kind of our summoning of her visual album because of this kind of trend in Sam's life. Beyonce, are you listening? Give us the videos. Release us.

Do you think Beyonce knows about podcasts? No. That's for mere mortals for the commute come on she's not doing that I think she does I heard she has a secret twitter where she's not her she doesn't have a lot of followers and she kind of like sleuths around

I think she just is like Blue Ivy speak and then she tells jokes for 45 minutes and that's the podcast I would think that's funny Blue Ivy has more Grammys than all of us in this room, so like, sure. Yes, yes. Anywho, Beyonce's done now. Go ahead.

She's done? We're done talking about her. Okay. For now. For right now. For now. Yeah. You're doing, it's okay.

You didn't say she was done. No one's heard it. Could you imagine if you actually said that? Like your career would just- I didn't say that. Wow. I didn't say that. So Zach, what do you,, do you agree with Sam that Beyonce is, and I quote, dumb? This feels like Project Veritas right now.

You know what? Do not edit this statement post. All right. All right. I've had enough fun. Wait, so what are you watching right now? What are we watching? What are we streaming?

White Lotus. The White Lotus. White Lotus. And I'm working out to the White Lotus theme song. I went to a SoulCycle the other week. First mistake. And the first song they played was the White Lotus two season theme song. Exactly.

In the class. I walked into a CrossFit gym yesterday. I do CrossFit. And they were also playing it. So it's fine. Because it's great. Aren't you worried about your back? What?

About the jerking and the... Are you talking about gay sex or i'm talking about i was only talking about crossfit i feel like they're always like get up there however you want oh yeah you must have every other place where you learn fitness they have like your form is important careful with your back at crossfit they're like if you can get from the floor to the ceiling you win you're safe yes it's by any means necessary. Any means necessary. That seems wrong to me. Yes, which is kind of like being gay and trying to love yourself. It's like by any means necessary. You'll break things, do things just to do.

You started with Beyonce. I'm starting with self-hatred. I do slow yoga. That's my vibe. I like White Lotus. Okay, here's my theory about White Lotus. Okay. This is coming out Saturday morning.

The finale is the day after this comes out. So put it out there. I don't know who the hell did it. Or did what? I'm bad at guessing whodunits, but I just want Aubrey Plaza's character to get to kill somebody. Yes.

Can we agree? She has this crazy behind the eyes that deserves to EGOT. Just the crazy. Just the crazy. EGOT. Just the crazy. Just the crazy. EGOT. EGOT. Okay, I agree with that.

It's great. Who do you think did it? Or want to have did it? Oh, I think it's... We don't even know what they did. Kill somebody. Somebody. I think everyone...

Do people want to talk about this? Do you care right now? Yes. Y'all care. I think Jennifer Coolidge is going to die. No. Get a...

I think... And y'all were dragging me for saying things about Beyonce. This is about a fictional thing. Beyonce's a real living person. Jennifer Gouledge is playing the character. Beyonce White Lotus season three. Hear me out.

She just kills all of us. I think the gays are trying to kill Jennifer Gouledge. Wait, wait, wait. Was there a backlash? We like her. No, that's why we love her. And I think Mike White is messing with us right now. Oh.

Yeah. So my TikTok is the QAnon for White Lotus now. It is just somebody like, if you pause this still from season one, you'll see the letter J in the background. That's for Jennifer. She's going to fucking die. Then it's like, here's Aubrey Plaza looking at a bird. Here's a picture of a bird behind this character.

He's going to die. It's like Taylor Swift level fandom around it. And again, as a gayler who does believe every conspiracy I've seen, including a new one about Karlie Kloss' eye being superimposed on the art for reformation, Cui Bono, follow the money. Wow. I'm here with you. What about the necklace? I heard there's like a necklace thing

in Karlie Kloss. Yes. In Taylor? There is. That's the most important thing. Thank you. It's from Cartier. That's all I remember. Do we think Twitter's gonna make it? No No, I'm so tired of it God, I'm so And I'm still on there

End it It'll be good for a lot of brains for it to go away Just burn it down Maybe that was his plan Yeah, what's the like Seven Stages of Grief Like I went through them

I'm on stage eight Yeah, I'm like over it Done Let me go It's just like Yeah, we don't need to go there It's bad I do hate that

You know, when Trump was no longer president I got that like breath of fresh air I felt better I was, we don't need to go there. It's bad. I do hate that, you know, when Trump was no longer president, I got that like breath of fresh air. I felt better. I was like, I don't have to deal with it. And then he was gone from Twitter. And then Elon has emerged and become like Trump on steroids. He's new Trump with more money, which is more dangerous. Yeah, I'm over it.

And I also now when I see Teslas, I'm sorry if you drive a Tesla. I get so pissed off. I cut off Teslas. I cut off Teslas. I do that now. For justice. For justice. Sam's out here in his German car

cutting off Teslas. Here's the thing. Okay, go ahead. Sorry, this is your show. Here's the thing. I like my Tesla. That was you I cut you coming over here. He wasn't Twitter's main character

when I thought it'd be nice to have an electric fucking car. He's been the bad man for a little bit. And as much as I do think, obviously the jury is out on Elon Musk. Is the jury out? That's my view. The jury is out on the devil. I think we can all agree that

Elon Musk is pretty controversial. Okay, New York Times. My Tesla. That's a New York Times headline. Yeah, great point, Sam.

We here at Love It or Leave It are, are you, are you never having a back of Dan? Oh, you can stay, come back whenever.

We're here at Love It or Leave It are universally obsessed with the second season of the aforementioned White Lotus, which ends on Sunday and like all prestige dramas, makes us think and be horny. And there's no aspect of the second season of White Lotus we are more obsessed with the second season of the aforementioned White Lotus, which ends on Sunday and, like all prestige dramas, makes us think and be horny.

And there's no aspect of the second season of White Lotus we are more obsessed with than its iconic theme song. It's time to play a round of Hurdle with, you guessed it, the most iconic prestige drama theme song. Is Hurdle a wordle thing? It is a wordle thing. It's Hurdle with two songs. That makes so much sense.

Prestige drama Hurdle. So here's how it works. Okay. We're going to play a second of a theme these are all white prestige dramas I actually thought about that before this feels like a sect against us we are black I know you are

and I did honestly like an hour before the show be like they're all white dramas fuck but it was too late we're in can we get a Tyler Perry drama up in there no I'm kidding we said prestige it's true though it's true Tyler Perry drama up in there? No, I'm kidding. We said prestige. We said prestige. We said prestige. It's true, though.

It's true. It's true. But I do, just for fun, Sam and I do love white dramas a lot. White Chaos is a great TV. Yeah, favorite. I love rich white people having their lives fall apart.

It's my favorite. That's why I'm on HBO all the time. And Bravo. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, your show. So here's how it works. We're going to play a second of a song.

You have to see if you can name it. We'll give you a second second. See if you can name it then. name it We'll give you a second second See if you can name it then You have one final chance with a third second Are you ready? Yes Malcolm, take it away White Lotus The White Lotus

The White Lotus Which season? Season one You got it Who got it? I said the I think Zach got it first Jeopardy Rules

Jeopardy Rules Whole word Point one point to Zach Alright What is White Lotus? Malcolm, are you ready for this next one? Yeah Here we go I said the. I think Zach got it first. Jeopardy rules. Jeopardy rules. Whole word. Point one point to Zach. All right. What is white man's? Malcolm, are you ready for this next one? Yeah. Here we go.

Oh, concession. I said concession. Damn it. Yes, succession. All right. That was succession. All right. Next up.

Oh, this sounds like Drake, but I don't know what that was. Not white. Half. Oh, right. Half. Do two seconds come on it's billions

I don't know it's not billions Sopranos yes really I felt Sopranos I never watched I never watched

the Sopranos I'll watch it over the probably a break that is a hot song I didn't know that Sopranos is worth it Sopranos is worth it how many seasons

look too many here's the thing there is a villain of the year problem that creeps into. Sopranos is worth it. Sopranos is worth it. How many seasons? Too many. Here's the thing. There is a villain of the year problem that creeps into The Sopranos where it's like, oh no, it's cousin Vinny from jail. Uh-oh.

And then he's around for one season and then his head gets run over by a fucking car. But other than that, it's awesome. Okay. There's a few dream episodes where you're like, all right, let's quit jerking off and find out what happens in the real,

you know what I mean? Uh-huh. Next up. Do five seconds. Sam Sanders, Jesus, listen. We do two seconds. The Wire. Yes, he got it, he got it, he got it.

Where does The Wire take place? Baltimore, motherfucker. And it has black people in it! It has black people in it! I forgot. It has gay black people in it! Oh my god! But they're in it. I forgot. It has gay black people in it. Oh, my God. But they're in jail. I'm now remembering that I saw the list and I was like, we need to add the wire. And that was your first pick for Black Dome.

You brought in prison incarceration. I'm just saying, it's the one I've seen. Wow. Yeah. I mean, just own it. That's what happened. It's a good show. It's a really good show.

I'm telling you. I was honest. I was just telling you what happened. Listen, I support you. Next white drama. Oh, that's... Wait, was that Succession? No, we already did Succession. Ooh, Sam's singing.

He's... I don't know this fucking show. You do, though. I don't! Your brain knows. You know more of. I don't. Oh, fuck. Your brain knows. You know more of the song. It's HBO.

No. It's Billions. Give it a second, second. It's never Billions. I don't know why we give it a Billions. Mad Men. Yeah. Wow.

Didn't watch that either. What channel was it on? AMC, motherfucker. Wow. In the golden age. In the golden age of AMC. They made prestige TV. People forget that.

Have you seen Jon Hamm's photos? A gay just laughed. I've seen the photos. That was good. I've seen the photos. Jon Hamm has ham, so there we go. He could drive a Tesla and I'd be fine with it. Okay, here's the point I want to make vis-a-vis Tesla.

Twitter is a land of symbols. It's people presenting and performing and demonstrating and representing and Elon is doing that in a very obnoxious and terrible way. But in the real world, the fact that Tesla has helped speed up the move towards electric cars

and was a transformative company that really made a difference is more important than the face of that company being a fucking prick. The output of Tesla is more important than the output of that company being a fucking prick. Let me tell you something. The output of Tesla is more important than the output of Elon's tweets. Electric cars are not going to save the earth. Moving away from car culture will save the earth. Yeah, okay.

That's great. Of course. We're going to do all the things. Where are they getting them goddamn batteries from? I can't do the batteries are bad tooth thing. Something has to be fucking good. Something has to be good. We've got to electrify more of the economy,

then we make the electricity come from things that aren't fossil fuels. We need to let Americans, make Americans get over themselves and ride the fucking bus and subway. There's that on that. But that's another story. Do all the things. I'm going to run my fucking Tesla. It's got a big, beautiful screen.

Hey, listen, I support you. I support you. I support you. Let's do the next one. No, come on. What support you. I support you. Let's do the next one. No, you're... Come on. What are you getting mad about? I'm mad about everything.

You and Alyssa Milano told me I gotta get rid of my fucking Tesla. No, Alyssa. Is this Nip Tuck? No. Do it again. Breaking Bad?

Yes. Ow! I watched that whole fucking show. I did not. No Breaking Bad for you? No, I haven't. I show. I did not. No Breaking Bad for you? No, I haven't. I am the one who knocks. Goddamn it.

Better Call Saul? Have you stuck with it? Better Call Saul? So good. Better Call Somebody Else. I don't have time for all these shows. I'm sure it's great. It is great.

I just don't have time for all these shows. I think you have time. I'm going to watch it. If you tell me to watch it, I'm going to watch it. Okay, I trust you. Literally. All right, let's do the next one. No, no, don't stop cheating

Omni what are you saying I'm trying to see what I'm saying go ahead they can't they don't read lips they don't read lips

American Horror Story no oh Omni American Horror Story this is the stupidest way to cheat no it was smart

because it worked with two other questions no I don't know I don't know I don't know It's the Americans It's the Americans I appreciate you

In your way Thank you Next Zach come on Step it up I am I came out strong Now I'm losing steam

Oh Game of Thrones No it's not Whoa I don't I'll say this HBO Okay First season is perfect Give me the name of one Actor in it Whoa. I'll say this. HBO. Okay. First season is perfect.

Give me the name of one actor in it. Every actor will give... You can do that. Oliphant. What? Timothy Oliphant. Billions. It's not Billions.

Billions is on Showtime. Ian McShane. This is Pete Caw Cassidy. What are the... Also, I will say that that is... What is this? That was another name they could have given the show. They curse a lot.

No, go a little bit west. Does anyone here know? Deadwood! We got it. This is embarrassing for us. You guys are doing really good. We're not. I knew I was going to be bad at this. This is so for us. You guys are doing really good. We're not. We're not. We're not.

I knew I was going to be bad at this. When I realized we were doing this, I was like, no. This is so much fun. I've seen every episode of every one of these shows. When we come back, we're doing this game, but only black 90s sitcoms. Or R&B songs. R&B songs. Living single.

Fresh Prince of the Mountain. Not Fresh Prince of the Mountain. I welcome it. I welcome it. Let's do two more. Oh, this is Game of Thrones. That's right. Okay.

All right. That was good. There are black people in there. Let's do two more. Oh, this is Game of Thrones. That's right. Okay. All right. That was good. There are black people in there. All right. Last one. Are dragons white or of color? You've wondered before. I want to say of color.

Right? Yeah. Because the Targaryens are black. Like Daenerys is black. That's a black name. Those are black people. Daenerys and Nym. Yes.

And Nym. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. No, I'm just Daenerys and Nym. Yes. And Nym. Yes. Sorry. Sorry. No, I'm just sort of... And that's Vibe Check every Wednesday. I'm just sort of like thinking about what it means to say Daenerys is black. Just like walking myself through that information.

While we're at this moment of pause, I do want to toot our own horn for a second. We're not naming this paper of record today because their workers are on strike. Yes. But Foo Fork Fimes named our show Vibe Check one of the top ten best podcasts of the year. So we're grateful. That's all. We're grateful. Just a little plug in the middle of the game.

That's what we came to do. As you were. I love you so much. This has been so good. All right, let's play the last one. Let's do two seconds. Billions. Still not.

Have you watched Billions? No. See, that's what's so funny about that. I loved Billions 1 and 2 seasons. Billions is great. It's just not Billions. Let's See, that's what's so funny about that. I loved Billions 1 in two seasons. Okay. Billions is great. It's just not Billions. Yeah.

Let's do the full three seconds. Love it or leave it? Yeah, it is. Yay! I mean this with love. Zach, you won the game. Thank you.

But you're both winners in my heart. I want to thank my teammates out in the crowd. You and you. Thank you so much. Thank you to Sam and Zach. They the crowd. You and you. Thank you so much. Thank you to Sam and Zach. They'll be back in a bit. Everybody

check out Vibe Check, which is according to the Blue Bork Bimes, a top 10 Bob guest. I don't know. When we come back, I chat with a robot. Thank you both. That was great. And we're back.

This week, the internet learned that AI can write college essays, answer existential queries, and most importantly, take selfies and turn them into big-tittied space fairies that look kind of enough like you that you can pretend you look like that. But I wasn't content with mere cultural domination. No, if the singularity is already happening, the least it can do is take one of our segments off of our hands. Producer Malcolm is at the ready as we put the chat GPT to the test by asking it our most pressing questions in real time.

Malcolm, can you ask the chat bot to make a poem that rhymes, and we're doing this in real time, in the style of Shakespeare, but about how it feels weird to be pooping at work when someone else comes into the bathroom and can maybe see your feet.

Let's see what it comes up with. Oh my god. Here, scroll down. As I sit here on the throne, feeling quite alone, I hear a knock upon the door and my heart begins to roar. Is it the boss come to see why I've been gone for hours three?

Or maybe it's a co-worker who'll catch a glimpse of my bare foot with horror. Either way, I'm in a bind for it's not seemly to be one of my kind to be caught in such a state, with pants around my ankles tearing at the gate. So I hold my breath and hope to be spared from the embarrassment that I have bared and pray that whoever it may be will leave me in peace

so I can finish my business with glee. That's pretty fucking good. We're so fucked. When we come back, time for some Goblin Mode. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

And we're back. Well, folks, it's everyone's favorite time on the calendar of the day. We all wait and wish for that magical moment when the publisher behind the Oxford English Dictionary announces its word of the year. For 2022, that word is actually a phrase, and somehow that phrase is goblin mode. We have an exciting guest here to discuss the Oxford English Dictionary selection. Please welcome to the stage an actual goblin. Oh my God. All right.

The lights! The birds! right. The lights! The birds! Turn off the lights! I'm sorry. We will not. But you'll get used to them. And, you know, we hope. But thank you.

Thank you so much for joining us. I just want to make sure I'm pronouncing your name right. Is it Glirmp? Yes. I am Glirmp. Can Glirmp speak into the microphone? Where is it? Hi, Glirmp. Are you Glirmp? Yes. I am Glurp. Can Glurp speak into the microphone? Where is it? Hi, Glurp. Are you Glurp?

Yes, I am Glurp. What a beautiful name. Thanks for being here, Glurp. I think you should have more mud backstage. Mud? Yeah, I can get you a good deal. I have a mud guy. What would the mud be for? To lie down in. Of course. We can definitely ask the theater about that.

So, Glurp, how did you feel when you heard that the Oxford word of the year was goblin mode? You must have been pretty psyched. Well, John, I squeezed my pet toad Sandra so hard she exploded! Because you were so psyched, surely. Glump was enraged!

Oh no, Glump was enraged. Why? The dictionary perverts must leave Glump out of their sick little words, circle jerks. Goblin mode is not a word. Why do you keep saying it? What does it mean? Who's going to clean up all the toad guts? I don't think goblin mode really has a hard definition.

It's more of a vibe, you know, goblin mode. A goblin is not a vibe, John. A goblin is a three-dimensional cave creature who has thoughts and has feelings and webbed fingers and eyeballs that glow in the dark. Okay, goblin is flesh and blood and also a third thing that's basically flubber. Our organs are mostly flubber. Look, I hear you, Glump, and I'm sorry to hear that about your toad. That's okay. I have like a jillion of them. But you know what people mean, right?

Maybe it's not the most PC term in the goblin community, as I'm just now learning. But you know what people mean when they say they're going goblin mode. Glump doesn't know, John. Glump has many modes. It's the mode where I write poetry about the swamp. The mode where I sew intricate quilts made of the fallen leaves. The mode where I scurry around hunched over, eating live bats whole, while cackling

under the moonlight. Yeah, it's that last one. Come on. That's what we mean by that's the last one. The scurrying and the eating. Or the mode where I volunteer at my local veteran resource center. That's goblin mode. It's just a simplification, Glump. We all know goblins do more than one thing. You also do

volunteer work, I guess. You ask people riddles before they're allowed to cross a bridge. No, that's trolls, John. Fuck. I knew that. That's my bad. Trolls and goblins are not interchangeable. And yet you insist on lumping us together. This is why Democrats are losing elections. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, what?

Creepy little humanoids are not a monolith? For sure. Well, listen, I'm sorry that you feel so disrespected. I don't think that that was what the Oxford English Dictionary's intention was. It certainly wasn't my intention. Well, how am I supposed to feel? It's a kick in the teeth, right? My sharp, tiny, razored spikes are just scattered in my mouth at random. And the point is, my culture is not a costume.

How would you feel if people started talking about you going love it mode i'm not sure that goblin mode and love it mode are all that dissimilar to be honest there's a reason you'd like to feel that way john goblin culture is at the source of all culture everything cool trickles down from goblins to black women then the gays then tiktok teens then TikTok teens, then like 10 years later, everyone else's. You're all parasites on the slimy back of goblins. Surely not. Not everything cool. You question, Glamp? What about tiny sunglasses? Goblins. The White Lotus theme song? Goblin appropriation.

Wow, you really are opening my eyes here, Glamp. Your horrible eyes that barely bug out of your face at all. Look, listen, all right, we're almost out of time, but is there anything else you want to say to these people who maybe haven't ever met a goblin before? The floor is yours, Glurm. Glurm will say this. You all spent a couple years in your homes.

At first you wanted out, and now you've grown to love it. Give in to it, humans. Skip the holiday drinks at your partner's colleague's apartment. Flake on the birthday dinner at the new Italian place. You know, the one with those spicy sweet pizzas that has honey on it. You know what you want, what you need to eat baking ingredients like snacks while shopping for new doormats that have funny phrases on them, but don't feel too live, laugh, love. Funny phrases on them, but don't feel too live, laugh, love. You want to go goblin mode.

You say, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps you were goblins all along. And now you can never go back. Vote DeSantis! Glurp. Glurp, the multifaceted goblin, everybody. Follow me on Insta, at Glurp. When I hit 10K, I'll post ass, all three cheeks. Everybody,

thank you so much to Danielle. She wrote her the new Pitch Perfect series, Bumper in Berlin, on Peacock. When we come back, Jennifer Tilly. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage

an icon, a legend, one of the best Jennifers to ever do it, Jennifer Tilly, everybody. Hi. John, how are you? Thank you so much for being here. I'm so happy to be here. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

What a fabulous audience you have. Very well dressed, yes? Yes. So I understand today I'm here for a segment called, Was I in This? Is that correct, John? Yes. So I understand today I'm here for a segment called, Was I in this? Is that correct, John? Yes. Okay, good.

Was I in this? That is the question. Yes, John, I see you have some cards. Read what's on the card. I just thought I'd help him out. He's been talking all evening long. I know what the segment is called and so I thought I would just sort of

move it along it's lovely to meet you thank you for being here you're welcome I'll just do what you said it was a very very very very long drive yes am I still in the United States?

I'm not sure I drove for about an hour and a half to get here. But now I'm here. I'm happy. I'm here in the ring of lights, the warm, happy smiles of the audience, free booze, all the things I like. Yes, go on, John. I hear this segment is only 10 minutes long. You better get going.

Most people know you for your incredible turns in movies like Liar, Liar, and Child's Play. What people might not know is you're an incredible poker player. Yes. Yes, I am. In fact, I'm going to be inducted into the Women's Poker Hall of Fame December 14th. I was thinking about that,

and it's like, why don't more great actors do poker? Because there's no money in it. When I do Chucky, at the end of the day, I collect a massive paycheck. When I'm playing poker, 32 hours later, I've lost my house. So I like being a poker player, but it's not a really good career choice. If anybody out there is thinking of becoming a professional poker player, I advise you against it. Unless you have unlimited funds.

And you're very clever. Or you can cheat. Sometimes people just have little signaling devices and then they can make a lot of money without actually knowing anything about poker. Did you hear that chess scandal about the chess player that had anal beads up his anus? Allegedly. That's where they go

yeah well that's making chess fun isn't it that is making chess fun yes have you ever considered any kind of cheating devices no nothing goes up there nothing

no I meant more generally yes okay are people really cheat they have little signals and things like that oh yes

where there's money there's cheaters yes not me though no you've made some money. I won a gold bracelet in the World Series of Poker. Yes, I made over a million dollars

in poker earnings. But, you know, the poker world is very bitter. So when they hear you have over a million dollars in poker earnings, they all go, oh, yeah, but how much did she lose? So, um... Well, how much did you lose? Well, that is the million dollar question, isn't it? Are you up? Are you up are you up

I'm just gonna say I'm making Chucky now so you know this is fun I had to bring my drink on the stage because I noticed you didn't have a drink for me out here I was looking at the little screen backstage and I was like I don't see a drink out there when I do other talk shows

they have a little coffee cup and in the coffee cup is like you know a fifth of vodka or something exciting like that I was like I don't see a coffee cup out there. When I do other talk shows, they have a little coffee cup, and in the coffee cup is like, you know, a fifth of vodka or something exciting like that. I was like, I don't see a coffee cup out there, so I brought my own glass room backstage. That's the old can-do spirit. This is the second segment in a row where I've

completely lost control. Alright, so Jennifer, you've had so many projects over the years. There's no way anyone could know them all. No. And we'd like to draw from your poker-playing prowess to challenge an audience member to a game that we're calling How Much Do You Bet Jennifer Tilly Was In This? Fantastic. What a good game.

Who thought of this? Your highly paid staff? Here's how it's going to work. Okay. We are going to bring somebody up here to play. Yay. And Jennifer's going to tell you a movie that she's going to say she was in. She was in it.

I am? Okay. And then we're going to tell, I'm going to tell, I'm remembering how it works. All right. Thank God. Someone's got to steer this ship.

Here's how it works. Okay. I'm going to ask how much you want to bet that Jennifer Tilly is in a particular movie or TV show. Okay. You're going to bet against Jennifer Tilly, who is bluffing or is she? Is she? Would anyone out there like to play the game? A hand went up right there with confidence, with gusto, who seemed excited.

I think that person, please stand. What's your name? Isabella. Isabella, come on up. Come on up, Isabella. Sit right here. Isabella, Jennifer, okay, just, do you know each other? No, no, but we like each other.

We're from the same sex. We recognize similar bodily characteristics. Okay. Okay. Hi, Isabella. Hi. the same sex, we recognize similar bodily characteristics. Okay. Okay. Hi, Isabella. Hi. Are you familiar with the oeuvre of Jennifer Tilly? I think so. You think so? Okay, well, let's see how well you know it. So here's how it works. You, the contestant, will start with 100 love-it bucks,

which are chips. Depending on how much you win, you will receive the most highly coveted Crooked merch that we could grab from the office closet before this event. Okay. Alright. So, Isabella. Yes. And now I'm gonna say a movie and you're gonna decide how much you bet and Jennifer's gonna try to convince you that she was in it. Or maybe not. Okay. You know? Okay.

I'm so nervous. Isabella. I'm nervous. How much do you bet that Jennifer Tilly had a small but memorable role in 2001's Joe Dirt? I would bet... How much do I get to bet? You can bet as much as you want. It's 100 love it bucks there. I bet all of them.

Well, you can't. That's the... I'm not good at poker. Just imagine that this is a game that's going to last several fucking questions. Okay, okay, okay. And say bet 10 love it bucks. Okay, I bet...

I'll bet two. Ten. Ten. Ten love it bucks. And then this is worth ten. We're going to put that forward. You have to understand the conversations we had to figure out the rules of this fucking

game. Wait, so now, Jennifer, try to convince Isabella that you were in it. You were in it, right? Well, no. Is she going to bet some more after I say my piece? That's up to Isabella. Okay. Well, you know, David Spade, I see him at all the parties. I do Family Guy. He's always at the parties because, you know, Seth MacFarlane buses in all these really attractive, nubile girls. And so you just

see David Spade going, I'll take that one. I'll take that one. I'll take two of those. I'll take one of those. And so I was at the party and I sidled up to him and I said, David, I am a funny person and you have never put me in any of your movies. And he said, well, I have a small but crucial part in my movie Joe Dirt, but you'll have to give me a blowjob. And I was like, oh, well, you know, I really would like to be in a major motion picture.

And so I did. It was okay. It was fine. He closed his eyes because I wasn't a model like he's used to, but you know. so then at the end of the, then he handed me a contract. And it was like a very, very small part, very small part. I did it in one day. It looks like larger because I'm a little bit in the beginning and I'm a little bit in the end.

Isabel. Yes. Yes. Do you want to take back your money? You can. Do you want to bet more or less? I'll bet more. More?

How much more? I'll bet more. How much more? I'll bet another 20. Great. Push those chips forward. I like how you push those chips forward. Yes. Isabella, Jennifer Tilly was not in 2001. Sadly. I did not give

David Spade a blowjob for a problem I'm that desperate. You have lost these chips. You were in 2001's Dirt. Dirt, I was in a movie called Dirt, yes, that all my friends were in, and I didn't pay anything for it. You were playing the role of Hooker.

Yes, I was. I thought it was the deleted scene. Yes, yes, yes. Well, you still, don't be sad, Isabella. You still have 70 love it bucks. You still have 70 love it bucks left. I'm going to get you one of those crooked t-shirts. Okay.

It's going to happen. Isabella, how much do you bet that Jennifer Tilly starred in the feature film directorial debut of the Wachowski siblings three years before The Matrix came out? I will bet 20. 20? Jennifer, were you in the directorial debut of the Wachowski sisters? Well, yes, I absolutely was in the directorial debut of the Wachowski Sisters? Well, yes, I absolutely was in the directorial debut of the Wachowski Sisters. That's a Miss America thing

where you repeat the question to buy yourself time. It was, should I say the name of the movie or no? Sure. The movie is very famous. So the movie is called Bound. I played a lesbian that was trying to rip off the mob. And in this movie, I disrobe almost entirely. No, no, I take off all my clothes. I take off all my clothes and I have mad lesbian sex

with my co-star. And then in between scenes, we talked about the shoe sale at Barney's. It was mucho fun. Isabella, you want to increase? What do you think? That was pretty convincing. I'll put 20 more. 20 more? I think Isabella needs you want to increase? What do you think? That was pretty convincing. I'll put 20 more. 20 more? I think Isabella needs a cocktail. I would love a lemon drop. Can we bring her? No. Bring Isabella a glass of cheap white wine, please.

Isabella needs a drink. Okay. Please. Quickly, because she's not going to be here much longer judging from the way she's been. Somebody, bring her a drink. Okay. We don't really like to treat the audience members like guests. Oh, okay.

All right. But you got it. Yay! Yay! Jennifer was in Bound with Gina Gershon. Yes, I was. A seminal film in the lesbian cinematic universe. It's a very cult film.

I think it's streaming now on Netflix or some other fine streaming application. I was much younger then, but I was really, really naked. Yes. Oh, yes. Alright. So now you're up. Okay. You're up, Isabella. You're up by something. Alright. Isabella. How much do you bet that Jennifer Tilly

played the supportive foster mom Annie Greenwood in Free Willy? None. Not betting anything. Wait a minute. I have the betting anything. Wait a minute. I have the whole story. But I mean, I was just... Well, you know, I did a movie with Michael Madsen and this is a true story.

Quentin Tarantino wanted him to play the character in Pulp Fiction. But he didn't want to because he was tired of playing bad guys. And so he took the dad in Free Willy instead and he does not regret it. He says when he sees women, they are grabbing their kids and pulling them away from him because they're like,

there's the guy that cut off that cop's ear and the kids are running towards him like, there's the dad in Free Willy. He likes that kids like him. Yes. Do you want to change your bed, Isabel? I know all Michael Madsen secrets. We did a movie called The Getaway.

He told me lots of stuff. Lots and lots of stuff. And Man with a Gun. And Man with a Gun. Oh, you know everything. I turned 27 yesterday. Oh, my gosh. Man with a Gun turned 27?

Yes. Oh, wow. Gosh. You're just a fan. That movie should have died a terrible death. I can't believe it's 27 years old now. No, it's good. I loved it. Well, thank you so much. Isabelle, you're stalling. No, okay, no. I'm not have died a terrible death. I can't believe it's 27 years old now. It was good. Well, thank you so much.

Isabella, you're stalling. No, okay, no, I'm not going to change my bet. That was a very good thing. I was actually not in Free Willy. I have no desire to make little kids like me, no. I, when I said, can Isabella have some more wine, I meant, can Jennifer Tilly

have some more wine? Can we fly in some more wine for Jennifer Tilly? The cup I knocked over. I knocked over her cup, too. Yes. Do you get sued if you feed the audience members wine? Like, can I throw wine into the audience? Is that a lawsuit waiting to happen? Think of this as like an invisible wall.

This is a zoo, and we don't like to feed them. All right. Because then they get accustomed to human food. And then they don't eat what they're supposed to eat. They're not scared. They're supposed to be scared of us. Alright, okay. Isabella. Yes. How much do you want to bet that Jennifer Tilly played two separate

characters who dated Dr. Frasier Crane once in Cheers and then 15 years later again on Frasier? I will bet 40. Well, Isabella, I've had a long and storied career. Frasier Crane, he has a cute forehead, as I said, in Cheers when I was hitting on him. That line always works, by the way, ladies.

And then they loved me so much. They thought we had such amazing chemistry that they brought me back to be in the show called Frasier later on. And both times it was very sad because in the first Cheers, he was going to marry me, but then he realized how much he loved Shelley Long. And so he didn't marry me and I didn't become a regular on Cheers. And then many, many, many, many, many years later when I was on Frasier, years. And then many, many, many, many, many years later, when I was on Frasier, he thought I was just delightful, which I am. But he was in love with some Oscar nominated actress. I don't remember her name. She had red hair. And so he was going to have a very happy and exciting fling with me.

And then he thought about how much he loved this other actress who was Oscar nominated. he thought about how much he loved this other actress who was Oscar nominated. And then he did not have a fling with me. Yeah, so that's a sad saga of my two appearances on Frasier Crane shows. What do you think, Isabella? I'm going to keep my bet.

Okay, well, guess what? Those were true. Those were real. Those are true stories. Yes! Oh, I'm getting so depressed thinking about my career. Oh my gosh. Can you bring up some things that are like maybe a little more cheerful? I think this is a cheerful one. Yes.

How much do you bet? By the way, that movie, The Getaway, I saw that movie. It scarred the fuck out of me. It is a dark tale. I was so naked in that movie. I think that was my first naked. No, it was my second naked part. But they said the negativity is non-negotiable so my very very first day on the set I think they thought we'll get it out of the way before you

know just see if she has any cellulite if she does we'll fire her we'll bring in somebody else so my very first day they introduced me to Michael and they got Michael Madsen and they say here's Michael and now you guys are going to do the sex scene I was like oh great okay and you know he. And, you know, he's a really big guy, so I thought he would lay on top of me and sort of drip over the sides and cover up all my its and bits. And he goes, honey, Rudy likes it. This is his character. Rudy likes it, but he doesn't like it that bad that he's going to do one-arm push-ups because one of his arms was in a sling.

So I had to be on top, which is very, very, very graphic. And then my husband in the show, he hears a noise like, and he thinks that I'm being hurt, so he's tied to a chair. He hops his chair to the door, he looks through the door, and then he sees me having a really good time with Michael Madsen. So when I saw it, I was thinking thinking like, can my dad see this? And because the guy in the chair was really, really, really far away. So it was almost like artistic nudity. And then when I saw it in the theater with my dad, I guess, you know, those people that fill out the little forms

and they said, what do you want to see more? And they were like, we want to see more Jennifer Tilly nudity. So all of a sudden the image had jumped. And it's not like we were way across the room. It's like we were as close as Isabelle is to me. And so it was traumatic, to say the least. And then I heard in the thing that you buy, which has the extras, they put extra scenes. Like, they scraped up all the naked scenes of me and Michael that were on the cutting room floor and then threw them in there, you know. On the DVD? On the DVD, yeah.

There's extra scenes, I hear. Yes, I was a young starlet in Hollywood and that's how they treated me. Unrelatedly, let's do one more question. Yes, please. How much do you bet, Isabella? Bet it all, bet it all. That Jennifer Tilly was...

What does Isabella win if she gets this right? A sweatshirt. She seems to be very familiar with my oof. Word of the day. Oh, she gets that. It's a merch bag. Producer Brian has a merch bag. Very nice.

Inside of a leftover 2019 VIP duffel. How much do you bet Jennifer Tilly was in Perfect Opposites with Piper Paraboo of Coyote Ugly fame? I'll bet another 40. 40? Yes. Perfect Opposites, yes.

I remember that movie well. I was the wacky, wacky best friend. There was a scene where Piper Parable was sad about loving she. We ate two little containers of Haagen-Dazs together. Not at all a cliche. Everybody knows when people are sad about their love life, they eat Haagen-Dazs with their best friends. And there was a guy in the movie,

and he played my husband, and he was on a radio show. His name was, I forget, Artie, Artie, Artie. He was on a radio show, and he claims that I took some chewed-up hamburger out of his mouth to show how close we were and eat it out of his mouth. And I was like, okay, I have to get on Howard Stern and correct that, because that did not happen. Me, being the wonderful, improvisatory actress I am,

he was my husband. He's kind of a lumpy guy. I was trying to say, you know, we like each other. We banter. You know, we're so comfortable that I can take a bite of his hamburger. So there was a scene where he's grilling a hamburger on the grill

and I come out all cute in my little all-American outfit and I say, hey, honey, the guests are almost here and he had his hamburger like that and I took a bite out of his hamburger and walked away. It was really cute. It really sold that we were in a relationship, but I guess Artie was upset because he wanted to eat that whole hamburger himself. So over the years, that story transmogrified into, I went to French kiss him, somehow scooped up, chewed up hamburger off his tongue and swallowed it, thus depriving him of much-needed sustenance. So, anyway, that's my one memory of that show.

Well, Isabelle, the floor is yours. Yes, Isabelle. I'm going to keep my bet. Jennifer was in it. I was in it. That was right. I tried to forget, but I remember when I rapped,

they gave me a tequila. And I didn't even ask for it. They're like, Jennifer's done. Can someone bring her a tequila? And that was in lieu of a paycheck, so. I could, honestly, I really could just sit here

and listen for the rest of perhaps my life. These are so enjoyable, but we can't. Isabel, you've won the game. Isabel, you've been amazing. Fantastic. Thank you so much, Jennifer. You can see Chucky, which is now on Peacock. Yes, on Peacock, streaming on Peacock. Everybody check it out.

When we come back, we go to the bots again. Thank you so much. That was so great. And we're back. Wow, that left me with a lot of questions. Luckily, we have the chat bot to provide the answers. Producer Malcolm, please fire up the chat bot. Next up, we have an excerpt from the Gettysburg Address,

but if Lincoln kept getting distracted by a hot babe in the crowd. Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth in this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. But excuse me, who is that hot babe in the front row? Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes, we are now engaged in a great civil war. Testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. But seriously, can you believe the rack on that chick? I mean, wow. Alright, back to the speech. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought

have thus far so nobly advanced. But seriously, can you give me your number after this? Thanks. Oh man. They're gonna kill us. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back.

Good Morning America decided to close out 2022 with a bang, specifically the banging of their anchors. In an incredible twist to wherever the internet absolutely loved their chemistry, as Vox put it in their headline, the Good Morning America anchors have made cheating scandals fun again. This is a fascinating moment to me. And at least 99% of Twitter here to discuss it.

Please welcome back Danielle and welcome to the stage, Curtis Cook. Hi, Curtis. Hello. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Curtis, Danielle, are you both familiar with America's favorite cheaters,

Amy Roback and TJ Holmes? Yes, I have seen the snaps and the show. Thanks for having me. Curtis, Danielle, are you both familiar with America's Favorite Cheaters, Amy Roback and TJ Holmes? Yes, I have seen the snaps and the video. I don't know anything about it. That's perfect. Let's play a clip that we think speaks to why people might be okay with this. You're the pacer. Does that make me the pacey?

Yeah, you're the pacey. But we're going to both be finishers. And that's what counts. You are one cheesy answer. Yeah, you're the PC. Okay, so yeah. But we're going to both be finishers, and that's what counts. Oh, God. You are one cheesy answer. She's clearly finishing. Yes. I'm not mad at it.

They have chemistry. Curtis, is that what chemistry is? Well, you know, as someone born of an interracial relationship, I think it's a sin. And... Okay. I think it's a sin. Okay. I did not. All right. That's a direction. Say more about that.

That's interesting. Because it made you possible on some level, and yet a sin. Well, my parents were committed to each other. What's the deal here? They're not married? They were married. They're not married. They're just colleagues.

They are married to other people. They are married. They work together. They work together every morning. But people think it's cute to lie to someone that you've made dedicated commitments to and love? Well, actually, I think that people think it's cute if the people cheating are hot. Oh. And everyone's finishing. I think that's very important. That does add a nice touch to it

Danielle Curtis is moralizing aside do you appreciate that it's interesting right because they were the try guys yeah the try guys and that was very it was like they all came out they were like we firmly are against he is no longer a try guy

we had a gay Asian try guy just an all black mourning. The loss of that friendship burned it to the ground. And they are hosting. They hosted on Friday. Literally, the news broke, like, I think on like Wednesday or Thursday. And they were hosting on Friday. Like, oh, ready for the weekend.

It's like, bitch, I bet you are. But then they got they did get suspended. Oh, no, she's back. bitch, I bet you are. But then they got, they did get suspended. Oh no, she's back. And he's still not there? And he's still not there. That's what I heard. That's what I read on Twitter. I like how I say that's what I heard, but I read it on Twitter. Read on the street.

Well, what's funny too is that after it broke, they did and then the ABC decided to suspend them because they called it a distraction. It's like, they're not in traffic control at the FAA. Like, they're hosting a morning show. This is interesting. Yeah, this is the most I've cared about Good Morning America since, like, Kathy and Hoda were hosting it together. Weren't they hosting Good Morning America?

No, that was today. Weren't they, like, wine drunk? It was the same today. That was today. They were all gone today, but same deal. That's what I'm saying. It's like, I don't know what morning shows are. Like, I never watch them.

I watch release. So, it seems though ABC is not sure what to do. Meanwhile, the Try Guys erased the Try Guy who had an affair. Like, it was footage from the Twin Towers in the opening credits of a TV show. Oh. They had their editor working overtime to, like, they had pre-film videos

and they just, like, cut around him. See, I don't know any of this. I just go home and have sex with only my wife and then things are fine for me. Did the Try Guy guy also interracially cheat? I don't know the answer to that and it's a weird

thing you keep dwelling on. It's worse if she's white somehow. This brings us to a little game we're going to call Which Affairs Are We Cool With? There are no wrong answers. Danielle and Curtis, let us begin. Marilyn Monroe and JFK allegedly. Some things to keep in mind.

Her happy birthday Mr. President performance. The fact that Marilyn also allegedly had an affair with JFK's brother RFK. What do you think? Are we cool with this or not? Well, you know, he killed her. So, not cool with that. Not cool with that. Curtis, are you cool with the fact

that JFK kills Marilyn Monroe? Wow. Thank you so much for asking. This is always what I've wanted to answer on a public forum. I would say hard no on the killing. Probably also hard no on the affair. Probably also hard no on the affair. Okay.

Oh, I lost people. I'm telling you. What an infidelitous audience. The only moral standard is hotness. That's the only thing. He's not that hot on the real. Let's be real. He's not that hot.

But like 1960 hot, yes. Have you heard him speak? Wait, I don't think... No. He's nasty looking. And frankly, he gets too much credit for what Lyndon B. Johnson did. That's a good point. And I think it's disgusting.

And not enough people say it. This is my moral standpoint. I agree. Also, he secretly had a lot of medical problems that were being treated with meth, which I learned when I got drunk and pretended to know history for Drunk History and it's all I know about JFK.

He disinvited Sammy Davis Jr. from the White House because he wasn't cool with Sammy Davis Jr.'s interracial relationship. Yeah. There's gasps like you weren't expecting that from John F. Kennedy. And I'm confused. You know what?

The photos in black and white, they were racist. I don't know. And with that, you know what? We don't approve, all right? We are catalog people. Next up, Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, also in black and white, so.

Oh, but she inspired Samantha to convert to Judaism and sex in the city? Is that her? No, that's Charlotte. Charlotte. Yes, she named her dog Elizabeth Taylor, which, touching. Elizabeth Taylor was cheating on her husband, Eddie Fisher, who she had met and had an affair with while he was married to Debbie Reynolds, who was at the time Elizabeth Taylor's best friend.

Also, Richard Burton was married. Debbie Reynolds, the mother of Carrie Fisher. Oh. Yes, because it's messy as fuck. Richard Burton was also married at the time. Elizabeth Taylor said in her memoir that she fell for Richard Burton on their first day of shooting Cleop Tara said in her memoir that she fell for Richard Burton on their first day of shooting Cleopatra in 1962,

writing that she wanted to hug him when he blew a line due to being extremely hungover and shaking. That was her type, okay? Alcoholic. That was her type. You don't get married seven times if your type isn't somebody with bloodshot eyes

shaking from having drunk too much the night before. If that is your type, you are gonna get married seven times. Also, her and Richard Burton got divorced and then got married again. Yes. They did get married twice. Yes.

So maybe they were true love. And they like made Puerto Vallarta in Mexico. They would go there and vacation there. Which is where the gays went when they were trying to pretend they weren't doing anti-COVID stuff. And then a bunch of people from L.A. got caught in pictures at Puerto Vallarta. And a boat capsized.

And a boat full of gay people capsized because God was like, no, thank you. So what do you think? Curtis, are you okay with it or not? Just shout out to my wife, Brandon. And say I think it's probably bad to break your vows. What do you think, unmarried person? Next up, Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. They met on the set of To Have and Had Not in 1943.

Lauren Bacall was 19 and Humphrey Bogart was 44. No, I say no. This is consistently a picture of... Dear John, don't you think 19's too young? It's always the ugliest man you've ever seen. And a woman with no options.

Humphrey Bogart to me is a classic. The male movie stars could look like fucking anyone. They could be anyone in that era. Just like a man. You can see the powder line on his face like he's a corpse. Wow, you can see the powder line on his face. Like, he's a corpse. Wow, is that a hot take?

That Humphrey Bogart We're not okay with it. Not that hot? Oh, this crowd is up in the air about cheating, but against ageism. Next up,

Mark Antony and Cleopatra. It didn't end well, but what a ride. Their joint forces were defeated by Octavius at the Battle of Actium, so their relationship wasn't actually politically productive, but what a ride. Their joint forces were defeated by Octavius at the Battle of Actium. So their relationship wasn't actually politically productive, but then again, whose is?

I support interracial relationships. Okay, well, I've been wrong before, too. So... May have died by asp. Asp. Is that poison? It's the snake that I only know because it's the asp that killed Cleopatra. It's always a clue in the crossword. Asp. Asp. What's an asp? Is that poison? It's a snake that I only know because it's the asp that killed Cleopatra.

Oh. It's always a clue in the crossword. Oh. Asp. Is that what Aspen's named after? That's named after Aspen. Okay, I'm going to think about that. I've never done a crossword crowd before.

What? Are we approving or disapproving of this affair? The audience is for it Oh They're so old there's only drawings of them And you think that's hot? This feels like a long con for cartoon porn And I'm against it

Alright Shout out to Egypt Next up Alright, this is a tough one No, before this one No, no, no, no We're not doing this one yet tough one No, before this one No, no, no, no We're not doing this one yet Fine, we'll do this one first

Are these Doctor Whos? Nope No These are not These are not Doctors Who These are Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles Oh

Are these Doctor Who's? No. They aren't. Close. Here's the thing. Obviously caused a lot of problems. But they're still together, which is unbelievable. Oh.

Maybe true love? Because someone's mom had to die. Prince Harry and Prince William's mom had to die. Well, that's not on them. They were. They were. It is? They were fucking. Someone's mom had to die. Prince Harry and Prince William's mom had to die. Well, that's not on them. They were fucking before Princess Diana, throughout the marriage, and now guess who's dead?

Guess who's dead. Curtis, question. Here's the ethical question for you as someone who will give no quarter to any kind of extramarital affairs And that is on the record for the entirety of this segment It's bad and if I ever go against my vows You can hold me accountable And we will

But here's the thing Obviously this is definitely tragedy adjacent But hard to blame Camilla for the whole thing Listen I would really love a little background On what's going on So that's the old guy From the pictures recently hard to blame Camilla for the whole thing. Listen, I would really love a little background on what's going on. So, that's the old guy from the pictures recently. Yep. That's the king. And who's this? That's his

wife. He was married to Diana? Yes, that is Prince Harry and Prince William's dad, I know. Thank God. He cheated on Diana with her? You bet. Yes, I know. That's fucked up. I don't like that very much. But she had already been married, so she couldn't be clean because she was divorced. Diana seemed cool.

She was. She walked through that landmine thing. Sure. That's the extent of my knowledge of her. She has a beanie baby named after her. I mean, that's very important. Which kind of beanie beanie? It's the Diana beanie baby.

It's purple and it has a white rose on it. Is it animal shaped? Oh, it's a bear? Yeah. Cute. You know what? We're never going to approve it. We have long memories. Final question.

Two married teachers at your school. That's it. That's all you know. They're two married teachers at school. They have incredible chemistry. The drama in the teacher's lounge is absolutely unquenchable. What subjects do they teach? She teaches math. He is in the teacher's lounge is absolutely unquenchable. What subjects do they teach? She teaches math. He is unfortunately, it's health and football coach.

Sucks. Weird crowd. Football coach. Worse than infidelity. You know, I support women in STEM, so I say yes. I refuse to be educated by people who don't believe in the vows they took before the law.

Jeez, it's like Rick Santorum doing the chat. Thank you so much, Danielle and Curtis. Curtis wrote for the very, very funny This Fool on Hulu, which you should check out. When we come back, one more chat with our chat robot. And we're back. Such human quandaries. We can't answer all these questions ourselves. So, producer Malcolm, let's ask the chatbot the following. Our final question.

Imagine that there is some kind of apocalypse, and future human beings decide that the main cause was smartphones. And so these post-apocalyptic humans bury all the smartphones, but also want to leave a message that will last thousands of years for future humans

about their dangers. But they can't be sure how much those future humans will understand about technology. Can you write a simple warning to be placed on an obelisk to describe the danger of smartphones to future humans?

Here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, my... To the future humans of this world, we beg you to heed this warning unfurled. Oh, it's rhyming again, just because it learned to rhyme. Once we too were like you, with technology

at our beck and call, but we became enslaved to our screens and ignored the world around our beams. We worshipped at the altar of convenience, but it led us to our own destruction and decadence. So we bury these devices deep in the ground in hopes that you will never be so easily bound. Do not let yourselves

be consumed by the false promises of these machines. Remember to live and love and to value the world around you. Beware the dangers of smartphones and do not let them

rule your life. Pretty good. This chatbot has a live journal? Wait. What? So in the future smartphones destroy society.

Yeah. Society is starting over entirely. This is the only thing they have left of our society. Yeah. Society is starting over entirely. This is the only thing they have left of our society. Is a message we left for them. And we use the word smartphone. Well, I'm not saying that... Sorry.

I also thought it was beautiful I meant. When we come back, the rant wheel. All right. Before we do the rant wheel, Crooked Coffee is having a flash sale happening this weekend only. Use the code SAVE25 at checkout to get 25% off

three exclusive holiday boxes. Each box includes two bags of coffee plus a fun activity. Order this weekend to get it by the 24th, so just in time for Christmas or just in time for one last gift for Hanukkah. Thank you for adding that. Head to crooked.com

slash copy. Now it's time for the rant wheel. You know how it works. The wheel spins, we whine, we rinse, we repeat. On the wheel this week, Virtue Signaling, Spotify-wrapped Christmas family drama, Ozempic, Knives Out,

Everybody Being Into Charcuterie, Bros, and Swifty's Suing Ticketmaster. Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on Spotify-wrapped, was suggested by Curtis. Oh, let me tell you a thing or two about an opinion I had because I was asked to have one.

I'm tired of your Spotify Wrapped, you pieces of shit. You spend all fucking year going on Twitter saying, look at me, I'm a socialist, and then you brag about spending $12.99 on a product that doesn't pay artists the right amount of money as if somehow Google searching other options

is beyond your scope. And then every time a black person gets killed, you chant, no justice, no peace, when you can't even go to Apple Music, you motherfuckers. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Every person applauding has Spotify. Shout out to Spotify for supporting Love It or Leave It. Shout out Spotify. Shout out Tesla. Oh, and another thing.

Thank you, Curtis. That's great. All right, let's spin it again. Ooh, it has landed on Virtue Signaling, suggested by Jennifer. Oh, that's me. Okay, you guys,

I was just recently, Kirstie Alley passed away, a wonderful comedian, and I was reading all the celebrity tributes, and I got so mad because everybody said, oh, although I didn't agree with her opinion, she had a good heart, or I don't agree with her political stance,

but hey, she was funny at comedy. Just say something nice. It's not like if you say, oh, I enjoyed being on Cheers with her, the people are going to think you voted for Trump like it's catching. Just say something nice. That's like if a friend of mine

died and I said, oh, well, when they were nine they shoplifted something and although I don't condone lawlessness, well, they were nice to children and small animals. So it's not like Twitter is the last bastion of responsible journalism. You don't have to give a balanced picture of the person.

Just say something nice, they're gone. I agree. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't want to be controversial because I know every time you say Trump, you get canceled. And so I was trying to do my rant without saying the word Trump, but I said it, didn't I? And it's fine.

Okay, my publicist left and now it's like I'm all out of control. Okay. All right. I'm not canceled. All right. Kirstie Alley in a film called Look Who's Talking, which was advertised as if it were for children. It wasn't. And I learned everything from that movie.

That movie was shown to me because it has a talking fucking baby. You think it's a movie for kids? No, not at all. There are so many things you find out about from that film. Too young. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Knives Out. This is my rant.

My rant is about Netflix releasing the Knives Out sequel Glass Onion in theaters for only one week. The fuck is wrong with you, Netflix? We don't have that many nice things in this world these days. You know what everyone

fucking loves? Knives the fuck out. They love it. And the thinking was from Netflix, we're going to release it for a week and tease it and then make a lot of folks who don't subscribe to Netflix subscribe to Netflix through the word of mouth to watch on Netflix December 23rd.

Let me tell you a secret, Netflix. Everyone who's going to be on Netflix is already fucking on there. There's no one left to get. There's no one left to get. Put the movie in the theater. I want to go to the movies. Anyway, how much more time do I have? You're good.

That's all, thanks. Bravo. No one left to get Netflixed. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Bros, which I believe was suggested by Zach. And I'm going to get canceled now. Okay, here we go.

Okay, so Bros, the movie released earlier this year starring Billy Eichner, was bad. And we all just have to agree about that. Thank you. Someone, yes, you ally. Thank you. It was bad and I'm tired of everyone telling me because I'm gay and I have the right to get married

and I have all these other equal rights that I should equally fake like this movie. That is not good. And I also am mad that we've erased all the other history of queer films that were amazing before this. This was not the first gay movie to ever come out and actually was not even that successful at all. And I like Brokeback Mountain and I'm not going to be shamed for liking Brokeback Mountain. And I know that gay people die in movies a lot. And that's a trope, that's an old trope but it's also sometimes a good trope

because it makes me feel things and I really like Spoiler Alert and I'm not ashamed to say that with Jim Parsons even though it doesn't make sense that he's dating Ben Aldrich but Bros wasn't good and we all have to agree about that yeah, sorry good. And we all have to agree about that. Sorry.

You don't have to like things because they're politically correct, y'all. Guys, I hope everybody likes Zach Grant. I'm sorry, I was in the bathroom. I'm sure it was lovely. Let's spin. Whatever it was, I'm sure it was appreciated by those who appreciated it. Let's spin it again.

by those who appreciated it. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Swifties suing Ticketmaster. Okay, so like right now, Swifties are suing Ticketmaster and like they might actually break up a monopoly and like, wow, didn't think you'd get that from a bunch of tweens

and Gen Z adjacent women who love all of her different eras. Ooh, look what you made us do. You thought you were going to hijack all of our day and not sell us tickets and then expect there not to be a consequence? You thought we were just gonna shake it off? Uh-uh. Okay, dear Ticketmaster, watch out. Let's spin it again.

I'm not doing it again. Okay. That's it. That's it. It has landed on Ozempic. How many people here know what Ozempic is? Oh, wait. So, okay.

Ozempic is a drug. It is a diabetes drug. It is also a drug that has been discovered to be... So it's an injection that you get. And I don't know exactly how it works. I'm not a doctor. But it does something with insulin and blood sugar in such a way that it is helpful for people who are obese to lose a lot of weight. But here's the thing.

who are obese to lose a lot of weight. But here's the thing. Over the last year or two, since it was approved, more and more people in Los Angeles who are not overweight, but just want to lose whatever amount to be real skinny are secretly getting prescribed this diabetes medicine and injecting themselves. And then they are doing interviews,

which you can all go and read, where someone in the interview asks them, I've noticed you've lost all this weight. And they say, oh, I've changed up my regime. I've just been more disciplined and I've taken up eating probiotics and this and that and the other thing. No, they are injecting themselves

with a diabetes medicine that for a few days causes you to be nauseous and thereafter causes you to be so tired you don't want to go out to dinner and then makes you and then forever basically helps you lose and keep the weight off but you have to keep taking it forever and my doctor wouldn't

give me it laughter laughter well maybe try going to the Met Gala and then they might give it to you. That was perfect. That was really perfect. And it fucking sucks.

And so it's like, now I got to go do telemedicine and lie about my weight and height to a doctor on the internet to get prescribed Ozempic and deal with the kind of guilty feeling when you find out that people with actual diabetes

and serious medical issues can no longer get it because it's being sucked out of, into Hancock Park. Like it's the early days of the vaccine and every fancy person in LA was online with their agent outside of like a clinic far from LA pretending not to notice that they're there with Ashton Kutcher trying to sneakily

get the vaccine early. Too specific. We're both getting canceled today. I love that. They're there with Ashton Kutcher trying to sneakily get the vaccine early. Too specific? We're both getting canceled today. I love that. The point is, I loved the film Bros. And a lot of people think it's cute and trendy to turn on a gay film. And that's not going to be me. All right?

To my credit, it took how many months to do that? Three months. That's good. I'm proud of you for speaking your truth. I love Beyonce Ambrose and and here's the thank you sam here's the thing about ozempic and it's the last thing i'll say about it which is no one knows the long term health effects of injecting yourself with a diabetes medicine if you are already skinny to try to lose that last few pounds and there are rumors beginning to circulate about something called droopy face.

Because their face gets too skinny. And I gotta tell you, a little part of me is like, I hope that turns out to be true, then I won't feel so bad about not getting Ozempic. They'll just put botulism in their face. Which they already do. Are you talking about Botox?

I can't believe people do that. They'll survive. Now I'm going to be looking for droopy face in all my favorite celebrities. Everyone just keep your heads on a swivel, okay? Because when you see these interviews now about people that have suddenly lost 10, 20, 30 pounds out of the blue,

and they're claiming it's because they've done X, Y, and Z, ask yourselves, does this look like the kind of person who asks their concierge doctor for a diabetes shot once a week? If the answer in your mind is yes, trust that instinct. All right? And that's the rant wheel. When we come back, we'll end on a high note.

And we're back. Because we all need it this week, Here it is, the High Note. Hi, this is Shelby from Orlando. I'm calling with my High Note that my daughter is turning one this week. We tried for a long time to get pregnant at a really difficult time. I was in a pretty bad place depression-wise because of all of it, but I listened to the show on Saturdays, and it really was just such a bright spot every week in what was so stressful and so sad and so overwhelming. And I just really appreciate everything that you guys do at Cricket,

and it's always been a light for me for these last several years. So thank you so much for all that you do, and for anybody else struggling with fertility issues, you are not alone. And thanks so much. Bye. Hi, Levitt. This is Emily from San Francisco. And my high note for this week is the rest of my VSA mod squad, you could not find a better, more amazing, more competent group of women and men to work beside on this election. I just had an absolute blast being with them every single week and being on the ground with them.

And this election was such a big deal and everyone worked so, so hard on it. So VSA Mod Squad, you guys did an amazing job. I cannot wait to work with you again in the next cycle. Thank you, Lovett, for everything you do, for all the smiles, for all the laughs. We love you. Bye. Hey, John. This is Dan from Salt Lake City.

My high note is related to heartbreaking news that we received in early 2022 that our sweet three-year-old son was diagnosed with brain cancer. After months of surgeries, radiation, and chemo, he recovered and is back to being an energetic silly kid. I appreciate the Love It or Leave It and PSA podcast for infusing horrible news with humor at a time when I could barely tolerate reading that line. And thanks for making me laugh when I needed it the most. Would love it if you guys could bring the show out to Salt Lake and throw us some red meat. Because it's Blue Island and sea red.

Thanks for everything. This is Berna Herzog, and I have two high notes this week. Both of these people have taken up the futile struggle against the overwhelming indifference and overwhelming hostility of the universe. indifference and overwhelming hostility of the universe. The first is John Lovett, and the second is Lauren, a teacher in the Iowa City Public Schools. Allow me to introduce you to Lauren. Last month, she directed nearly a hundred students in a production of Peter and the Starcatcher. She convinced her student, Oliver Oliver that it was worth it to pass his classes such that she overheard him persuading his peer Zion to pass his classes too. And she constructed a hauntingly lifelike yellowfin tuna lantern out of willow withiffy's and Papier Maché for an upcoming solstice joy march. On the 13th

of this month, she celebrates the anniversary of her birth. There is no better time to contemplate our infinite fragility and proximity to death. Lauren, you inspire me. My gratitude also to Haley D. Roche of Sad Beige for inspiring a new generation to perpetually contemplate mortality. Cheers! Thanks to everybody who sent in

a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. That is our show. Thank you so much to Danielle Perez, Zach Stafford, Sam Sanders, Jennifer Tilly, and Curtis Cook. I don't want to think about the general election yet, so there are eight days until Hanukkah. Have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, Thank you. are the writers. Bill Lance is our editor and Kyle Seglin and Stephen Colon are our audio engineers. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood for creating and running all of our visuals,

which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Nar Melkonian, Zuri Ervin and Milo Kim, Mia Kelman and Matt DeGroot for filming and editing video each week so you can. You can find those glorious videos at youtube.com slash C slash Crooked Media.