Lovett or Leave It - Slippery Slope of Fairness
Episode Date: July 13, 2019The US win the World Cup. Trump loses on the census. And Pelosi clashes with AOC and millennials. An ACTION PACKED show with Andy Richter, Rheeqrheeq Chainey, and Erin Ryan on the panel. Plus a rant b...y Ira Madison III. And Lovett harangues an actual seismologist (thank you, Men-Andrin Meier) about his problem with the Richter scale. And do we discuss Big Little Lies again? Sure why not.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Love It or Leave It. I am your host, John Lovett. We have a fantastic episode
of Love It or Leave It coming your way. We have Andy Richter, Riri Chaney, Aaron Ryan,
Ira Madison III, and Menendreen Meyer, a seismologist who came because I harangued
him about my criticisms of the Richter scale. We did this fantastic show, and then it turns
out something happened with the audio. And here to help us understand what happened is
Bill Lance, the engineer who produces Love It or Leave It.
Hello, John. How's it going?
So, can you talk to us a little bit about what happened yeah I can uh so last night we set up the computer to record uh-huh and you're a smart guy yeah it's
not my first it is not my first time recording a show and you make sure that everything's plugged
in yeah and you make sure that the right ends to the wires yeah if they're not then I switch it
around so right because you are a professional yeah if it doesn't fit just turn it around and yeah make sure it's the right the
right direction yeah uh-huh so set everything up uh-huh and everything looked good coming in
uh everything sounded great good in your ears you're checking it in real time yes it sounded
absolutely wonderful and yet and then when i got home
what happened at one in the morning when i loaded all the audio in to cut it i hit play and what
did it sound like it sounded crazy it sounded like a devil robot it sounded like this crowd here for
a podcast where the podcast audio has to be pristine. How are we doing on that noise?
And then, Bill, it's one in the morning.
You've been up all day working, and then you spent all fucking night working to fix this audio
because you are a goddamn professional.
That's true.
And so when you hear this episode and you take a moment to even think about complaining to me about it,
when you can hear everything so crisply, know that I'm talking to a man named
Bill that's you that's me yeah who spent all night making sure that you got this
episode because it was such a good episode all right I spend all night
every week all right though yeah but that's what the money's fine I don't I
don't have panic attacks every week, though.
So this was a particularly harrowing experience.
Usually it's just shortening your laugh breaks because they're just too long live.
Okay, Bill.
Nobody wants a 30-second laugh break.
Apology accepted, Bill.
And it's usually cutting a lot of jokes about Tommy.
Wow.
Now Tommy's going to hear that.
Bill, thank you so much.
All right.
And so if any of you out there even take a moment to think about criticizing this episode,
you think about doing it, then you
stop yourself and you remember that
we worked hard to bring you this episode despite the fact
that there was a snafu which happens in
this life. Alright, now on to the show.
Is this a bad time to ask for a raise?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Since we last spoke, there was not one, but two earthquakes in Southern California.
Sitting on the couch.
Listen, spoiler, I was sitting on the couch for both earthquakes.
Paint you a picture.
Two earthquakes,
a day apart.
I'm in the exact same position.
Pundit the dog
is in the exact same position.
Let's just be honest.
I'm playing Diablo 3.
Don't applaud it.
Don't applaud it.
That game is a skitter box.
It is manipulative.
We should all quit.
It's evil, but I love it.
So, it's loud.
There's vibrations in the controller.
I'm hearing it's through the Sonos, because they're a sponsor,
and all of a sudden I'm like, is the whole world shaking?
And I turn to Pundit, who is useless, and I look at her, and I'm like,
Earthquake! And she goes, whoa!
And I search for it in my house.
Same thing happened the second time. Learned nothing.
Same thing happened the second time.
Learned nothing.
So the first earthquake is a 6.4.
Second earthquake is a 7.1.
All the coverage says Southern California rocked by two earthquakes.
This made me think about the metric system.
This will make sense probably.
Okay.
So we don't use the metric system.
Alright?
And there's a certain kind of person that likes to make fun of America for not using
the metric system.
We're a bunch of fucking yokels, we're stubborn, we're arrogant, we don't do what the rest
of the world does.
The metric system is so much smarter and sophisticated, it's what they use in your Swedes and your
Frances and in America we use a dumb old in your Swedes and your Frances. And in America, we
use a dumb old thing that's random
and makes no sense. This
is incorrect.
Oh, that's right, you fucking
coastal elite poindexter fucking...
You are the exact
people who say that to each other
over small plates.
No. No.
No.
The imperial system is no more random and actually much more useful.
I'll give you some examples.
All right?
Temperature.
All right?
60 degrees.
Kind of cool.
70 degrees.
Temperate.
80, hot.
90, really fucking hot
It's a good range
You hear a round number, you know exactly what we're talking about
Centigrade
Celsius, if you will
39, you got a super hot fever
41, you're dead
Yes, it is true
In a lab somewhere When you're working in deciliters Yes, it is true.
In a lab somewhere, when you're working in deciliters, etc., it makes more sense.
It is more useful to do math in the metric system.
It is also true that maybe once in a while,
the fact that we use these other units
has caused us to lose a Mars rover or two.
Due to some unfortunate conversions.
A couple Mars rovers thought they were further from Mars than they were.
A couple came across Mars a little too quickly.
Not ideal, all right?
I recognize that for science, the metric system makes a lot of sense.
But day to day,
a foot's a pretty good unit, you know?
Yeah, it's based on one king's foot,
and that's pretty dumb.
But a meter is based on
one ten millionth of the distance
from the North Pole to the equator.
What's more useful to you
in measuring the size of a room in your house?
Height, 1.5 meters you're short as a guy 1.9 meters you're tall but you're like you're dealing in you know in decimals in feet six feet you're pretty tall five feet you're losing your shit at a bagel bus. It's simple. It's easy to understand.
The bottom line is,
centimeters, kilograms,
they may have the best policies,
but Fahrenheit is electable.
Back to earthquakes.
Let's tie it all together, sir.
So these were my first, I think, significant earthquakes as a Californian.
I have not grown up in this place, this wonderful place that shakes every once in a while in a kind of deep and profound way.
But now that I'm here, the Richter scale, it's not intuitive because it's a
6.4 and a 7.1. All the news reports it as a pair of earthquakes, right? That's just the natural way
we talk about it. And yes, we know that there's something involving logarithms. And we find out
later in the report that a 7.1 is actually five times as much sinking as a 6.4, but it's still
covered as a pair of earthquakes
because the measure isn't intuitive.
If somebody crashed into your car at 10 miles an hour,
and the next day they crashed into your car
at 50 miles an hour,
you would definitely not say,
wow, I was really buffeted by a pair of car accidents.
You'd say, holy shit,
that guy yesterday that tapped my car,
he fucked my shit up today.
Because it's intuitive.
50 is five times as much as 10.
So the opacity of these numbers bothers me.
It bothers me as someone who is new
to being in an earthquake zone all the time.
But I am not an expert.
And I kind of thought it would be cool
if I could maybe ask a seismologist
about this. And here's the cool thing.
We have this show.
So there's a seismologist here who's going to help me
figure out what we're going to do
about this logarithmic scale.
I may ask some other questions as well,
but I'll probably keep bringing it back to this.
Please welcome to the stage
seismologist and
researcher at Caltech, Menendreen Meyer.
Hi, so you're a seismologist. Yes. So why do we use a scale where every point
represents an increased tenfold of the amount of shaking from the number before?
Well because earthquakes come in a lot of different sizes, so you have tiny earthquakes
where the rough is just a few inches, and we can detect those with good instruments.
And then the big one in the San Andreas Fall is going to be hundreds of miles long.
And so if you had just a regular scale like the one you use for measuring height, then
you'd say, well, the foreshock was magnitude 0.003, and the
mainshock was magnitude 257,658.
That's not much more intuitive, is it?
Oh, interesting. You think it's not?
Hey, everybody.
Buckle up. Next slide.
Sir, thank you for being here For those listening at home
I'm going to do my best to explain this to all of you
But I have invented a new scale for earthquakes
And I am trying it out
Without having talked to literally anyone
To an actual scientist on a show.
Let's do it.
On the left, we have the current
logarithmic magnitude moment scale.
It runs from 0 to 10, all right?
0 is the Earth is not moving.
10 is the craziest fucking earthquake in history.
9.5, roughly, is the biggest earthquake ever recorded.
Is that right?
That's right.
Okay.
So, on the right, we have a new scale.
I've named it after a scientist named Meyer,
who is the first scientist to say yes to being the seismologist on this show,
because it's you.
So I agree that there is a problem with the fact that earthquakes come in little tiny bits
and huge scary things.
But I have a solution, okay?
I have a solution.
and huge scary things.
But I have a solution, okay?
I have a solution.
We're going to name a mire is going to be equivalent
to a magnitude 5 earthquake, okay?
All right?
It's one kilometer long.
It's a pretty good earthquake, okay?
Now, if an earthquake like what we had
the other day hits, like a 6.4,
we're going to go up the scale
to around 25 mires, right? Because that's go up the scale to around 25 Myers, right?
Because that's 20 times more forceful than the 5, right?
Because we're going to set our scale at a 1 out of 5
because I recognize that tiny earthquakes are very tiny,
big earthquakes are very big.
Now, what do we do about these huge earthquakes?
I have a solution for that too.
Once we hit a magnitude 8 earthquake, guess what?
Welcome to a Megamire
Okay
The biggest earthquake ever recorded
Was 32 Megamires
Alright
That was the 9.5 that hit Alaska
Based on Wikipedia
Because again, I did this alone
Over the break
Because I got scared
Because my house shook
And they didn't tell you it wasn't
Chile? No. Oh, was it in Chile, the biggest ever? I thought it was in Alaska. Second biggest.
Okay, all right. America doesn't always have the biggest one. Sorry, sorry. This fucking
guy.
So, back to the scale.
Now, you're right.
Some earthquakes are really tiny.
A one or two on the new scale.
Guess what?
I'm introducing something.
It's called the millimeyer.
So now, so look.
We have a 6.4.
We have a 7.1.
What if the news said, hey, guys, there were two earthquakes.
One was a 25-meyer, but the next one was so much bigger. It was a 125-Meyer.
It was five times as big, which is
totally intuitive, because we converted the
logarithmic scale to a linear scale
while dealing with the big numbers and
small numbers by introducing a unit such as
the Millimeyer and the Megameyer. Is there any
downside to what I'm talking about
other than the fact that we will have helped people better
understand intuitively how dangerous earthquakes can be, so that perhaps they might be more prepared and think more about it, have more water, actually get down under their fucking table when their houses start to shake.
I'm sold. I'm all in.
You're sold and you're all in.
No, I thought it'd be a little bit more of a fight.
Fix decibels.
What?
Fix decibels.
Oh, we're not going to fix decibels on this show.
Thank you, sir.
Good point.
It is also true, as the man in the front row has helpfully pointed out,
that decibels for sound are also logarithmic.
But you know what?
That doesn't bother me, because when I get that wrong,
my house doesn't fall off its foundation.
One last question.
I know they say you're not supposed to
just run out of your house screaming.
But instinctively that
does feel right.
Thoughts?
Well, it depends on the kind of house you live in, you know.
The official recommendation from the United States Geological Survey is to
drop cover and hold on because most people get hurt or even die from, you
know, running outside and falling down the stairs or getting hit by stuff that
comes falling off the roof. And so you drop cover under a sturdy table and then
you're safe because houses usually don't collapse.
But then there's things like, you know, soft story houses, old houses.
I live in a house that is eaten up by termites, I think.
So when I felt a quake, I did not drop cover and go down, to be honest.
So what we might be dealing with is the Memorial Mire earthquake scale.
be dealing with is the Memorial Mire earthquake scale.
So it does feel like there's
these two competing ideas online.
One is the official recommendations,
which says the most likely thing you're going to do
is fuck yourself up by falling down,
breaking an ankle, landing on some glass,
getting hit by debris. One woman hit her head
and broke her neck falling down during Northridge.
Another woman fell out of a hotel window. That's a bad
fucking drop.
But so they say just get down because allridge. Another woman fell out of a hotel window. That's a bad fucking drop. But so they say, just get down,
because all else being equal,
the majority of houses will stay up,
so the majority of people who just get down will be fine.
But in the event that you're worried
about your house falling down,
what are you supposed to do?
Well, if the house collapses on you,
then there's not much.
You can do whatever you want.
You can do whatever you want!
But that being said, I mean, the drop
cover and the hold on thing does make a lot of sense.
If everybody did that, that would save a lot of
lives, probably, and a lot of
medical costs. Alright, thank you.
One final, semi-inappropriate question.
You seem to be a hot seismologist.
Has that impacted any of your science about anything? Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't be here if I had slept my way up. Ladies and gentlemen, Caltech seismologist, Menden Dreenmeier.
Thank you so much.
I didn't really say that.
That was great, thank you.
Let's welcome our panel. She's an actress and writer known for American Princess and Globe. Please welcome Riri Chaney.
Hi Riri.
Hello.
Thank you for all the math information.
That was great.
Hi.
How you doing?
I'm really good.
Thanks for having me.
This is really nice. So good to have you.
Thanks.
Next up, she's a writer for Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
friend of The Pot, and host of Hysteria from Crooked Media.
Please welcome Erin Ryan.
Hello. Hi, Erin Ryan. Hello.
Hi, Erin.
Hi, how are you?
I'm good.
I feel like I haven't seen you in a minute.
I know, it's been a while.
It's been too much a while.
Well, you record Hysteria before I get in.
We're out of there at like 10.30.
We're out of there at 10.30 on Wednesday mornings.
I'm sorry, am I blowing up your spot i am anyway you're never there
ladies and gentlemen one more time for aaron ryan
all right and he's a comedian and writer known for his role on conan and he's also the host of the new Earwolf podcast, The Three Questions.
Please welcome back Andy Richter.
Andy, what's it like being named Richter during the week of not one but two big earthquakes?
It never gets old.
Never gets old.
I find it's like a fountain for creativity and originality, the things
that people end up saying about it. It's not like they say the same fucking thing every
time. Although throughout my career it has been a quick way to judge any kind of article
written about me because I've only seen like, oh, the Richter scale as the title about 15 times, and then you know, oh no, that article's a piece of shit.
No need to read that, even though I love the subject.
We wouldn't be on this stage if we didn't love articles about ourselves.
It's true.
That's just the bottom line.
It's true.
about ourselves.
It's true.
That's just the bottom line.
It's true.
Before we begin the show tonight,
I did want to take a moment and acknowledge our first casualty
of the 2020 primary.
We had our first candidate drop out
earlier this week.
And all jokes aside,
we want to thank Eric Swalwell
for what he brought to the race.
He put ending gun violence
first in his campaign.
That's something no one else running can say.
He's been a champion for ending
election interference.
And this week, we say goodbye to Eric Swalwell.
Please enjoy some of his greatest hits in this In Memoriam segment.
Eric Swalwell.
First act in foreign policy, we're breaking up with Russia and making up with NATO.
Time to pass the
torch. Pass the torch. Pass the torch. Pass the torch. Pass the torch.
All right, let's get into it. What a week.
Last week, we declared on the show that we had won the battle for the citizenship question on the census
within 12 hours of recording that Donald Trump changed his mind.
So here is the timeline of what we know.
June 27th, the Supreme Court rules to block the citizenship question from being added,
including that there was sufficient reason for concern about why the Commerce Department wanted to add the question.
On July 2nd, the day we recorded last week's episode, the administration announces they'll be printing the census without the question. Victory. The following morning,
Trump denies that they're dropping it. Then later that day, a Justice Department lawyer admits to a
federal judge that he doesn't know what's going on, saying, quote, the tweet this morning is the
first I heard of the president's position on this issue, just like the plaintiffs in your honor. As you can imagine, I'm doing my absolute best to figure out
what's going on. He then said they were instructed to find a way to add the question, which was the
opposite of what they said in the court the day before July 4th. We all had a nice time with our
friends and loved ones. I ate four hot dogs. I tried to go to a fifth, but I'm stopped by friends
concerned for my well-being.
Now, I'm going to tell you guys something right now, which is, that's comedy dark.
I'm going to tell you what really happened.
Which is, I woke up on July 4th, opened my phone, saw a video made by NowThis about the history of the hot dog,
got up out of bed immediately, walked Pundit, put Pundit back in the house, went to Cantor's.
By 8.45 a.m., I had ordered
a hot dog, which is off-menu
at Cantor's,
and consumed that hot dog
before 9 a.m.
in the morning on July
4th.
Because I love this country.
Did you know
they had it off menu or were you
hoping they had it off menu?
That's such a good question.
I will tell you that I looked
through the whole menu and I found it impossible
to believe that Cantor's
doesn't have a hot dog, a Jewish
deli, Jewish adjacent.
It's not kosher. There there's meat and cheese all over
that menu it's a little it's a little bit crazy like they practically have shrimp in there
but anyway i assumed there would be a hot dog and i asked i said am i crazy i can't find the
hot dog and he said it's off menu but you can get it i said great i'll take one and then at the end
and i think what i will describe as perhaps the saddest moment of my life, I realized after paying the check, it all came with tip to $17.73.
So I added three cents and made it $17.76. And then I waited until the waiter came around just And he didn't care.
That is actually dark.
July 7th, the Justice Department announces that the team of lawyers who had handled the case
would withdraw and be replaced weirdly
by attorneys who focus on consumer protection.
July 10th, the judge announces
that those lawyers aren't allowed to withdraw.
They are stuck and must live with their decision
to work for our demon president.
July 11th, the day we were recording this,
Donald Trump gave a press conference and announced that
while they definitely are allowed to and would win a court fight
if they tried, they are backing down
finally on the issue because
they're all such good people. The question is
out of the census.
But,
but,
they announced that by executive order, the Commerce Department will attempt to find out this information by other means.
It's ominous.
We don't know exactly what it means.
But what we do know for sure is they won't stop wanting to undercount and demonize immigrants.
When we come back, OK, stop.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back.
Now it's time for OK Stop.
We'll roll the clip and the panel can say OK Stop at any point to comment.
The U.S. Women's National Soccer Team won the World Cup this week.
And America was proud.
But Jesse Waters over at Fox News thought the U.S. women...
Whatever, you know what he did. Let's just watch it.
Well, the U.S. women's soccer team arriving back in America just moments ago after its big World Cup win.
Players having fun, celebrating their job.
Okay, stop.
Did the team come back flying united?
I'm sad to say it appears that they did.
The depths of the disrespect towards this team.
I just, someone booked this on points and I just really can't abide that
but it's now starting to be overshadowed
by politics
the big win immediately setting off calls
for equal pay from the stadium crowd
okay stop
how is being a woman
political
it's not fucking political
it's not political to be a woman and be like,
you know what, I'm doing the same thing that the guys are doing,
but I'm doing it better and more people like me,
so maybe I should be getting paid the same as the guys
who are losing fucking games.
How is that political?
How is that political?
People pay! People pay! People pay!
Okay, stop. I also like to like, ugh, these athletes are making everything political by listening to the chants of the people in the stadium.
A stadium full of people.
A stadium full of people.
A stadium full of nut jobs.
full of nut jobs.
Well, hey, Jens.
The women's team is suing the U.S. Soccer Federation for gender discrimination,
focusing on the pay gap
between the men's and women's teams.
Jesse, it appears you have some thoughts.
No, just the chant for equal play
at a sporting event. I never thought
I'd hear that ever. Okay, stop.
He's like, sport chants
are supposed to be apolitical, like a bunch
of white people making Indian noises.
You know?
Like it's supposed to be.
I like apolitical
chants.
No matter what the sport.
But the president does have a point
there. If you look at the World Cup men's
revenue, it's in the billions.
And they split up the pot. It's a much bigger pot. Women's World Cup men's revenue, it's in the billions, and they split up the pot.
It's a much bigger pot.
Women's World Cup revenue, much, much smaller, and they have a smaller pot to divide it up with.
Okay, stop.
The World Cup bonus is set, yeah, that's set by the World Cup,
but the U.S. Soccer Association is actually using that as a reason to pay discriminate
because when it comes down to the actual organizations
between the men's team and the women's team,
their earnings go back and forth,
like in terms of just like what each particular organization earns.
So they're just using the sexism of the FIFA
to set their own pay record.
So it's like it's not even about...
FIFA is just you know
That's that's a once you know once off kind of thing, but you know that all their kind of practice games
They still they still are getting screwed. Yeah, you know
He the the distinction is is that the US Soccer Federation?
The women do actually make more revenue and they get paid less, so that's their lawyer's fault. Oh, stop!
I take umbrage.
He's blaming these women for
what he's saying is that they're not advocating for themselves,
which is such slack
bullshit that I can't even handle.
They should be paid for the work they do.
It shouldn't be like this type of division math ends up that they make less money.
Fuck that and fuck him.
I just, I pay them, pay them, pay them.
I mean, this is like a microcosm of like the fact that the Republican Party hates women.
They negotiated a horrible deal and they need to renegotiate that immediately.
The point is though, is that the women are not helping their case by their behavior.
Okay, stop.
Okay, stop.
What behavior?
Winning?
Winning?
Yeah, their behavior of winning.
But it's, this is his argument.
Usually women get paid less because they deserve less.
Sometimes they get paid less because they didn't ask for enough.
Either way, the one thing you shouldn't do is complain about it.
But it really does go to this idea of what it means when they say,
leave politics out of sports.
Because all the men have to do to get paid more is say nothing.
They just have to stay there and be still.
But what that means is you are agreeing to a kind of politics.
They just have to just stay there and be still.
But what that means is you are agreeing to a kind of politics.
To not protest is to take on the politics of everything being exactly as it is forever.
So when they say let's keep politics out of football, they mean let's keep your politics out of football.
My politics of I like things how they are right now exactly how they are, don't change them, is the only politics allowed on this field. That's true for women's pay.
That's true for Colin Kaepernick.
Everyone just needs to shut the fuck up because there can't be politics here except for my
politics where I feel so fucking comfortable, where I feel totally at peace.
I do not feel challenged.
Nothing about my worldview is incorrect.
President, you act in unpatriotic ways and then complain about not getting paid equally well
what do you think is going to happen people are going to watch okay stop okay stop the the u.s
women's national soccer team has become this political lightning rod for the right it's now
become a cool thing for people on the right to pile onto them but I would love to see any one of them take any of them on in any
athletic endeavor. Many people this weekend who said, I love soccer. I'm not watching the U.S.
women because I didn't like what they said. That means the ad revenue comes down. That means their
overall revenue comes down and they can't divvy up the same amount of money. Okay, stop.
Why is it always that people on the left are supposed to capitulate to people on the right? We're supposed to say what is acceptable to them.
Women's soccer players are supposed to placate the needs of white Republican men who would never at any point watch women's soccer.
But nobody watching a sport where a lot of people are conservative,
nobody watching NASCAR would be like,
I don't know, Dale Earnhardt Jr.
didn't say enough about being pro-choice.
I've always noticed when Republicans win,
it's hooray, time to gloat. And when Democrats win, it's, hooray, time to gloat.
And when Democrats win, it's, how will they reach out to those voters that didn't vote for them?
They never say, how is the GOP going to reach out to Democratic voters?
Because we all know their attitude towards Democratic voters is, fuck you.
There's never this sense of, no one ever
says, how can
we help Mitch McConnell understand
black trans women?
So when they say, oh, we need to keep politics out of sports,
it would be really great if these
people would start just a little bit.
Just a little bit to like, hey,
let these differences just exist.
Just let the differences exist.
They can't. They can't do it for a fucking second.
And it's making literally
everyone miserable. That's all.
When we come back
we're going to talk about these 2020 candidates.
Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It
and there's more on the way.
And we're back!
So far, the Democratic primary has been a real clash of ideas,
a tête-à -tête of which person over 60 can slightly outwoke the other person over 60.
Our own Change Research poll finds a statistical tie for first with Warren and Bernie at 19,
Biden at 19,
Biden at 18, and Kamala at 17.
And now that Kamala and Warren are surging in the polls,
pundits are really digging deep with nuanced analysis,
like a recent newspaper missive that wondered aloud if Kamala and Warren have a chance because they must both be splitting the lady vote.
So we thought we'd bring back an old favorite in a game we're calling
How Likeable Is He Really?
We'll play some clips of male politicians and our panel will help us make sure they are held to
the same standard as everybody else a terrible standard no one can meet all
right let's roll clip number one we cannot go to alone in terms of dealing
with terrorism so I'd eliminate the the the the act that allowed us to go into
war and not the AUMF
and make sure that it could only be used for what its intent was,
and that is to go after terrorists, but never do it alone.
Okay, so I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea of taking a risk on a man
because Mitt Romney and John McCain were both men. And they lost.
I mean, I don't like to be ageist.
I'm not ageist.
I'm really open to age.
But what I found worrisome is that he stumbled over some words.
I don't know.
He might faint in getting in a car or something.
There's no way to know if he can make it through the term.
I don't want to risk it.
Well, remember when he cried when Obama gave him the Medal of Freedom?
Do we really want to give an emotional wreck like that to nuclear codes?
I mean, yeah, he also has children,
and he has to care for his children.
They are adult children,
but you never really stop caring for your children.
So I don't know if I think he can devote all of his attention to being the president.
I just kind of wish he just had a more pleasant face.
He could try not scowling when making a point.
I agree.
Smile more.
Yeah, if he could just wave.
As the guy who hands me the penny saver tells me,
smile more.
And how many times does this guy run for president?
I mean, it's pretty ambitious.
It is.
I want a president who's ambitious,
but I don't want to see it.
Not ambitious, but not too pushy about it.
Yeah.
It's very in, like,
oh, I'm running for president, I want to be president.
So in your face with the ambition.
Right, exactly.
Next clip.
Oswald, take school.
Oh my...
The idea of a president, like,
you're supposed to be running for president
and you get distracted by a bird.
But I think he's just trying to really lean on his like charm.
Like he thinks being charming is like presidential.
I mean, this whole bell reenactment
of like birds coming to you to sing,
it feels a little, a little pushy.
Right, we all love Disney movies.
We all love Disney princess movies we all love disney
princesses but do we want one to the president yeah well two things number one birds aren't
afraid of him how is putin gonna be afraid such a good point andy such a good point and and point
number two shrill very very shrill and i don't want to say it. And look, I obviously don't think this,
but we have to be careful
because we're not ultimately going to be alone
in making this decision.
And I'm just going to say it,
resting socialist bitch face.
I'm just going to say it.
Because like, not that I care.
I, again, I like him.
I like men.
But other people may not like them.
Other people may not be open.
There are people I know in my life that look at someone like that and say,
I don't think that looks like a president.
Right.
He strikes me as kind of cold and aloof, but also too angry at the same time.
I don't think that's very presidential.
Yeah, when he gets loud, it seems like he's nagging.
Yeah.
Final word on this, more like bitchin' looper.
All right, that's...
I don't mean that either.
That's the point of the segment.
And that's our game.
We come back, a game about millennials.
Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
And we're back.
Now, we are going to do a rapid-fire millennial quiz
with someone out there who'd like to play the game.
Hi, what's your name?
I'm Eden.
Eden?
Yes.
That is very much a Gen Z name, not a millennial name.
All right, Eden, here's the deal.
This week, a debate played out online that split the Democratic Party in twain.
One side believed it was okay to be mean to the angry bagel man,
and the other side thought it was bad to shame a man so short.
But that wasn't the only debate.
Nancy Pelosi criticized Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
and the other more progressive members of the House.
She chastised the new House members
for taking intraparty fights public
and said to the Times,
all these people have their public whatever
and their Twitter world,
but they didn't have a following.
They're four people,
and that's how many votes they got
speaking of the border bill.
Now, as you all know,
I love Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
And it's true that part of her point is she takes the shots for vulnerable members. However, it was also a pretty dismissive comment, not just to them,
but for a movement of young people who use Twitter and social media to mobilize and activate
young voters. And this got us thinking, this isn't the only time politicians have condescended to
millennials. In fact, they do it so often that we don't think you'll be able to tell what's a real
quote about young people
and what's one we made up, and we thought we'd
highlight this in a game we're calling
Politics is
Kind of a Mood and TBH
Zaddy Voting Slaps.
Star dab
star.
I won't do it. What is Zaddy?
I've never encountered Zaddy.
Yes.
I love being a millennial up here right now.
Zaddy is a man of dad bod,
but he can put it down.
You have your fits from Scandal.
You have your...
Your Jason Momoa fat picture?
No.
I feel like Idris Elba is zaddy.
Idris Elba, but not when he's DJing,
when he's wearing coats.
All right.
I get it.
Something to aspire to.
When he's wearing coats,
I know exactly what you mean.
That man knows how to wear a coat.
It's like always,
he's British,
so he's posh
and his collar's high
and he can protect you,
but also he's really into your risotto.
We just have to move on, Eden.
Are you ready?
I'm going to read quotes.
If they're real, say real.
If they're fake, say fake.
Okay?
I got you.
Here we go.
Over and over, faculty members and administrators noted
how their students' limited experience with hard work
made them oddly fuzzy-headed when facing real-world problems.
False.
It's real?
Please answer faster.
Young men in 1940s liberated Europe from Nazism in the Pacific from the Japanese Empire.
Today, too many stay-at-home playing video games.
True.
Yes.
Morning Joe.
Maybe if today's young people spent more time in the real world and less time watching the real world,
they'd have a clue about what this nation needs.
False.
Correct.
Correct.
Young people want a Domino's pizza track to wrap for social justice. True.
Fake. And if the left doesn't think
I'm left enough, so be it. As I say to these people,
come to my basement. I have these signs about
single payer from 30 years ago. We have to
have a solution, not just a Twitter fight.
True. Yeah, that was Pelosi.
Millennials, what if instead of taking selfies
we took our mother's hand and thanked her for choosing
life? True. False.
You know what's interesting about this group?
I've been doing this for 30 years. I know what I'm doing.
You come in here and you say it has to be my way or the
highway. I don't respond to that. True.
Pelosi. No. Feinstein.
But I knew that that's who you thought it was.
I knew that's who you thought it was.
They're really close. They would both hate that.
What really distinguishes this
generation from those before it is that it's the
first generation in American history to live so well
and complain so bitterly about it.
False. No, that was real, but it's from
1993 about those young people
who are now Gen X and completely
forgotten.
I totally understand the mental
health crisis in this country. I watch Euphoria
every Sunday with Chastain. False.
Yes.
No wonder they can't afford college. They spend too
much money on avocado toast and opioids.
True. No, that, well...
It's false. We definitely...
That's it. It's a fake quote.
We defy anyone with his eyes
open to deny that there is, as never before,
an attitude on the part of the young folk which is
best described as grossly thoughtless, rude,
and utterly selfish. True?
True from 1925.
Why do they have to wear their AirPods all the
time, even when they don't have music? It just makes me
so nervous. False. Correct.
More young
voters would come to the polls if they weren't
always busting down Thadiana.
False?
Did you say false?
I said false.
Yeah, it is.
Don't make me explain it.
All right, here we go.
The rock upon which most of the marriage barges go to pieces
is the latter-day cult of individualism,
the worship of the brazen calf of the self.
True?
True, the Atlantic, 1907.
Our young men have grown slothful,
their talents are left idle,
and there is not a single
honorable occupation for which they will toil
night and day.
Continuing true? Real.
From Seneca the Elder, 1st century A.D.
To begin with the youthful type,
they are hot-tempered and are indignant if they imagine
themselves unfairly treated. They have exalted notions
because they have not yet been humbled by life. They think they know everything and are always quite sure about it. True. Even older?
From Aristotle, 350 BCE.
And finally,
True.
True. Plato, Play-Doh.
380 B-C-E.
Eden, you've won the game.
Woo!
It's almost
as if older generations
constantly resent younger generations, and while we may
have serious differences and we should argue about it, we should
argue with regard and love for each other because we're on the same
team, and AOC and Anspilosy are two politicians
we all deeply admire, which we should continue to do
because we need to remain committed to each other in this fight to win, defeat Trump, and build a better world.
A lesson I learned today from Megan Rapinoe.
When we come back, the rant wheel.
Don't go anywhere.
This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.
And we're back!
Now it's time for the rant wheel.
You know how it works.
We spin the wheel and rant about the topics on which it lands.
This week on the wheel, we have Trump's Rose Garden ceremony.
We have ice raids.
We have the death of Rip Torn.
We have, as always, big little lies. We have a surprise rant. We have ice raids. We have the death of Rip Torn. We have, as always, Big Little Lies.
We have a surprise rant.
We have Paul Ryan. We have Bagel Boss.
And we have
the Women's World Cup.
Let's spin the wheel.
It has landed on ice raids.
Jesus Christ.
Officials said, this is important, and we just want to get the word out.
Officials said ICE agents were targeting at least 2,000 immigrants who have been ordered
to be deported starting Sunday, and the operation is expected to take place in most major cities
in the U.S.
Everyone should know their rights.
No one needs to legally open your door for ICE.
You do not and probably should not sign anything they give you, and you have a right to speak
to an attorney.
If you just want to help, please share
that information with people who might be at risk. Donate
to the ACLU or you can donate or volunteer
to help through unitedwedream.org.
And one other note that came from some of the groups,
over the next few days you will see a lot of posts on social
media saying ICE has been spotted.
RAICES Texas is asking that you please
do not retweet or share any information you cannot
personally verify. Immigrant communities
are already scared and we don't want to cause more anxiety.
So that's just something we want to put out there.
UnitedWeDream.org.
It has landed on Surprise Rant.
Please welcome to the stage the host of Keep It with a topic that we don't even know.
Please welcome Ira Madison III.
Hi, everybody.
Ira, what are you going to rant about?
I'm going to rant about this Jason Momoa situation.
So, allegedly, he was being body shamed. He actually was being body shamed. But
Jason Momoa was in Venice. He was on vacation with Lisa Bonet. Some photos were taken of him
by the paparazzi, and they were put on Us Weekly's Instagram. In the comments, people were like,
oh my god, Jason Momoa doesn't have those abs from Aquaman.
Is he fat? Obviously he's still hot.
He's Jason Momoa.
Still hot, everybody. Still hot.
News alert. Wait, I'm sorry, one second.
Gay news. Jason Momoa's still fucking hot.
Pew, pew, pew!
But then this became a story of
people are fat- shaming Jason Momoa, saying that he has a dad bod.
Here's the thing.
The only people who are saying this about Jason Momoa were the people in the comments of Us Weekly, their Instagram page.
And you have to imagine that the people in the comments of Us Weekly are generally trash.
And you have to imagine that the people in the comments of Us Weekly are generally trash.
And they're probably body shaming everyone that's in there. Which means that someone who works at whatever outlet reported it first was looking through Us Weekly,
their Instagram page, saw someone say, hey, we're at Jason Momoa's abs, took a photo of it, wrote a story,
and now for days we've been talking about
Jason Momoa being maybe
fat and maybe having
a dad.
And it's completely unnecessary.
Just because someone wanted clicks. And that's why I'm mad.
People are like, I would still fuck him because
he's fat. I mean, do you
think you're better than Lisa Bonet?
Of course you would still fuck him.
Let's spin it again.
It has landed on Big Little Lies.
It did?
It landed on Big Little Lies? Oh, great. you have yet to comment on my sweatshirt by the way
i didn't even notice i pandered so hard to you with this sweatshirt
riri is wearing a sweatshirt that's celeste and jane and bonnie and renata and madeline and i
fucking love it thank you
technically we're still
inside of gay news, so I don't need to make
the noise, because I don't believe I ever ended the segment.
Here's
the thing, guys. Alright?
I need to talk
a moment about Meryl Streep's character
on Big Little Lies, because it is a
tour de force, and here's what I discovered.
Meryl Streep's character is.
She is the angel of fucking death, because here's what I discovered. Meryl Streep's character is. She is the angel
of fucking death.
Because here's what she does. I have now
discovered, through textual
analysis, through reading
critically, this very important
text that we will look back on
as containing some of the
ur-valley. I'm stopping.
And the, uh...
She goes from woman to woman
on that show, delivering
a speech that basically
is the worst fear you
had about yourself. The thing you
worry most of all late at night
that might be true,
I'm here to tell you, it is true.
You, you're a schemer
who's not a good person. You,
you're a terrible mom. You, it wasn't worth it. You, you're a schemer who's not a good person. You, you're a terrible mom.
You, it wasn't worth it.
You wasted it.
It didn't matter.
You wasted all that time working,
and you didn't even get anything for it.
She goes from character to character,
issuing the most vicious and true statements
that goes into the worst recesses of their heart,
their deepest fucking fears,
and how useful it would be to have such a person
wandering the actual real earth,
going to Kellyanne Conway,
and going to William Barr,
and going to Melanio Trump,
and going to Mike Pence,
and sitting them down, and going to Paul Ryan,
and sitting down with Paul Ryan and saying,
I can't complain. Actually, I can.
You sold out this country, and you're not a good person.
How good would it fucking feel to have this angel of death
wandering the countryside, delivering justice?
Big Little Lies is so good.
And there was a twist at the end of this episode
that's made me very skeptical that it will continue to be good.
On the other side of it,
I'm waiting for her to confront Bonnie
about being a black magical negro.
That she is an oracle who sees water deaths.
I think if she can really tap into that energy, it's all
been worth it. Riri, I am
so glad you raised what I consider to
be a problem this season.
Thank you. Which is they have introduced
black mysticism
and magical black
women into this show at a
really critical moment in which it was
not necessary or called for
at all there is zero reason that in season two episode two of big little lies
we discover that the two black women in the show have esp and communicate by touching each other's
skin and having revelations about future drowning.
Thank you for allowing me this space.
Yeah, it's been wild.
This Big Little Lies is one of my just like Caucasian safe spaces.
And they've really ruined that
with the beautifully braided mom
just touching her face
and leaving tiny chicken bones.
I forgot about that.
She left little trinkets next to the bed.
What's happening?
And I think, I mean, the only explanation
is that David E. Kelly had some sort of
triny nanny once that told him a story,
and now he's going to honor her publicly on HBO.
Do you think that there's any chance that what really happened
is he was obviously working on a second season
that probably shouldn't have existed,
but yet was going to happen anyway,
and while he figured out a lot of it,
he didn't know what to do with this one character,
and then someone sent him the script from Weekend at Bernie's Part 2,
and he decided to take the most racist parts of it
and just kind of stick it in there?
I'm hoping it was Michelle Pfeiffer
and she sent it to him
from their wings in the home.
Everyone knows they're married, right?
Just me? Cool. I forgot.
I never forget.
What lies beneath?
Maleficent, baby.
Me too.
This is a good turn. Big Little Lies. Bup, bup, bup, bup, you too. This took a turn.
Big little lies.
Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
That's gay news.
Let's spin it one more time.
Let's spin it again.
It has landed on the Women's World Cup.
Andy.
That's me.
Take it away.
It's not even so much the Women's World Cup. Andy. That's me. Take it away. It's not even so much
the Women's World Cup.
It's the right-wing
reaction to something
that
I don't know
of anything that's ever made
straight women hornier than
the U.S. National Women's
Team winning. But I mean, but also, too,
like, also just like what a fantastic thing to celebrate.
What a wonderful thing for this country to have.
And I understand that
the right-wing ideology is a house of cards.
And if you pull one card,
because it's not really based on logic,
it's based on propping up a white hegemony
and white male hegemony
and, you know,
trying to hold onto power in the
face of dwindling demographic
irrelevance, you know.
I get all that, but
it's just like, can't
you just be happy that the soccer
team won?
Just shut up for a week about it.
Just shut up for a week about it. You know,
I mean, if they don't protest paying the soccer women equally, then, oh boy, we'll have to
play other women equally. What a, you know, what a slippery slope of fairness.
Episode title, done. Lock it up.
That's it.
Episode title, done. Lock it up. That's it.
I mean, that's just it.
It's just, can't you just let us have
the soccer team? Can't you just be
happy for the soccer women?
You know?
Give it a rest. And also, too,
the thing I love, it's sports.
Sports is the most reductive,
simplistic thing there fucking is.
It's why I've always wondered, why is there an award show for sports?
A thing where there's a winner at every meeting.
You've got to give out trophies to the people that are already winning?
Whatever, that's a side issue.
But sports is so easy.
You win or you lose. You win or you lose.
You win or you lose.
They won.
And now all of a sudden, like, getting them paid, well, that's complicated.
You know, that's like, no, it's not.
It's not complicated.
If the Yankees win, the Yankees get paid.
You know, if the Giants win, the Giants get paid.
It's a simple thing.
Even bowling. Bowling. I don't know what their pay strops get paid. It's a simple thing. Even bowling.
Bowling.
I don't know what their pay strops are going to be like.
I don't know either.
You should blow the lid off of that.
We've got to get to the bottom of it.
I feel bad for those people.
Their right arms end up longer than their left arms.
And nobody's talking about it.
That's the next big scandal.
The next time you see Will Smith going,
tell the truth, tell the truth.
It will be a movie about long bowling arms.
I'm sorry, Andy.
It's alright. It's alright.
Let's end on a high note.
To Andy's point,
out tomorrow, and if you're listening to this,
yesterday,
we got to interview Megan Rapinoe today.
It was very,
very exciting. And it was so
exciting to meet her because here's somebody
that has done something incredible
who has basically said,
fuck Donald Trump. If we win,
I'm not going to the White House.
Somehow managed to add pressure
to an already incredibly
pressurized environment, raised
the stakes on winning the World Cup,
and they fucking won it anyway.
And you have this incredible group of women
celebrating,
being fucking victorious, representing
our country, making our country
proud, and by the way, not being
afraid to stand up for what they believe
in and being incredibly patriotic.
And it must be so hard, to
Andy's point, for people on Fox News
to deal with a group of women who don't
care what they think, who aren't
interested in pleasing them, who say what
they believe, who fight for
good causes, who use their platform
as patriots trying to make this
country a better place. And no matter how
hard Trump complains, no matter how hard
Jesse Waters complains, they won't fucking
stop. And that's pretty exciting.
That's really good news. So,
you know what? It's been
a hard...
We've lost some big fights
and there's some heinous shit going on.
But you know what?
We're still in this fucking fight, alright? and if Megan Rapinoe can invent a new
arm shape icon
in 2019
there are depths to be plumbed
there are ideas to be had
she figured out a new way
to hold her arms in the fucking air
kind of out
slightly at an angle.
Brand fucking new, iconic.
Don't tell me America's best days are behind it.
There are new ways to hold up your fucking arms.
Thank you, Andy Richter.
Aaron Ryan.
Love it or leave it.
It's love it or leave it.
Thank you guys for listening.
Thanks to Andy Richter, Riri Chaney, Aaron Ryan,
Iron Madison III, and the hot seismologist himself,
Menendreen Meyer.
And thank you guys for listening.
We'll see you next week.
It'll sound better, Bill, right?
Next week, probably?
I promise.
Thank you guys for listening.