Lovett or Leave It - Soup d'Etat

Episode Date: September 5, 2020

Chowder is a weapon and Antifa has an airline. What a week. Akilah Hughes stops by for the monologue. Ronan Farrow is back so that we can test our relationship again for some reason. And activist Imani Barbarin joins to talk about the challenges facing voters with disabilities and what steps we need to take to turn out the vote.

Welcome to the 26th and final episode of Love It or Leave It Back in the Closet. with streaming fans but COVID changed his plan so now he's streaming working from home he wants to go outside but doesn't want to die so keep on dreaming life may be on pause but the outrage marches on Somebody turn off the fucking faucet

But it won't stop So love it's here until it's gone He's back in the fucking closet It's love it, or leave it It's love it, or leave it It's love it, or leave it It's love it, or leave it It's love it, or leave it It's love it, or leave it That song was sent in by Michael Dillenberger, crushing it on the theme, crushing it in the name department, Dillenberger.

So this is our final week of Back in the Closet episodes. Are we still recording remotely? Of course we are. But I know that for me, life from home can be hard, but politics from home feels harder. It has been six months of terrible, terrible news and noise after four very long years, all without the release valves of meeting friends at a restaurant or seeing a movie or going to a rave. And we all miss raves.

And there has been so much hardship for people that have lost jobs or gotten sick. And I was texting with a friend of mine who has kids, and all my friends with kids described dealing with their children as if a skittish deer broke into a pottery studio and destroyed the place, and then society turned to them and said, you have to get the deer to calm down so you can teach the deer how to make a vase. So I will normally say this in a more hopeful way, but today I'm going to say it like this, that we have 60 days to make them pay for the last six months. We have 60 days to shake ourselves out of a torpor, if that's where you're at, and win, and win everywhere, and win by a lot. So we're not in the closet anymore. We're in the home stretch,

and we're going to talk about what happened each week. But more than ever, we're going to talk about what we can do and how we can stay in the fight. So if you haven't signed up yet, sign up at votesaveamerica.com. And if you want to submit a homestretch theme song to get people hyped, send it my way at leaveitatcricket.com and maybe we'll use yours. And I want to figure out a way to share all the back in the closet themes we got because they were so amazing. And I'm so excited to hear your hype songs for the home stretch. Now, in that spirit, the conventions are over. Many states have less than one month to finish registering voters ahead of Election Day. Earlier this year, Vote Save America teamed up with Powerpack to launch the Every Last Vote Fund. The fund supports aggressive on-the-ground efforts to mobilize black, brown, indigenous, and other marginalized communities who are routinely the victims of targeted voter disenfranchisement efforts.

We want to raise $750,000 to help them do what they do, so you can visit at votesaveamerica.com slash everyvote to donate and learn more. Later in the show, we'll be joined by activist Imani Barbarin and journalist and video game completionist Ronan Farrow for a return of our version of the newlywed game, which was per usual a mess. But first, she's a comedian, author of the book Obviously, and co-host of Crooked's Daily News Pod, What a Day. Welcome back, returning champion, Akilah Hughes. Thank you so much, John. Good morning. Let's get into it. What a week.

On Tuesday, seemingly out of nowhere, President Trump denied that he had a series of mini strokes in November 2019. Trump followed this by saying it was a series of huge strokes, big, beautiful strokes. People say to me, people are always coming up and saying, how did you get the stroke so big? I didn't know these strokes, they could be so incredible. And they are incredible. They really are powerful. More and more doctors are saying it. I give that 10 out of 10. Yes. Giant strokes. We still don't know. I mean, why did he bring it up? It's like it also people I'm hearing that people are saying my dick doesn't get hard.

Who said that? Why are people saying that? I'm like, no one was thinking about that. But now we are. Yeah, it's like that joke that, you know, my shirt that says I'm not a human trafficker is raising a lot of questions answered by my shirt. That's not my joke. It's a Twitter joke.

I like it. Whoever wrote that joke, it's a great joke. Shout out to you. Shout out. Also this week, we learned that according to Sarah Huckabee Sanders' new memoir, President Trump told Sanders to take one for the team after Kim Jong-un winked at her at a 2018 summit in Singapore. Look, Michelle Wolf learned the hard way. If you want to joke about Sarah Huckabee Sanders in 2018, you cannot mention her makeup.

Just stick to safe topics like her being jokingly ordered to fuck a murderous dictator. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Damn. Again, why did she write this? Who was curious? I assume it's meant to be charming, although my understanding is that her reaction in the book is stop. Great. So wonderful. Oh, man. Also, we learned this week that the U.S. will not be participating in a global effort to develop and distribute a COVID-19 vaccine, in part because the strategy is led by the World Health Organization, which Trump has targeted purely as a scapegoat for his failures to contain the virus in the U.S. So we're cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world, which is great because the U.S. actually prefers to eat lunch by itself in the choir room.

I mean, the thing is, that makes America sympathetic. And I'm not sympathetic. Yeah. This is like a teacher that's like not going to grade the tests. So then everybody else on our test is like like can we just get out of this class and they're like no it's a bit like we're at the part of the movie

where the popular kid is finally getting their comeuppance and actually their meanness and bullying isn't working and then

it's the point of the movie where the the bully villain turns to the henchman and goes come on Jake let's get out of here and Jake's like

I'm staying with the nerds yeah all the what I mean? And Jake's like, it turns out actually the gay kid and I are friends and maybe I'm gay. It's like the part in every 90s movie where the hot girl or like the girl who was regular, who got the makeover, who became hot, realizes the guy is a dick and like paid to go on a date with her. but he keeps trying to pay to go on the date with her he's just like relentlessly i can just i can do this this is who i am now i'm the guy who pays for sex in high school all right well i think we ran that to ground. Yeah. Well, yeah, I got no more metaphors and or similes. After spending $200,000 in Facebook ads since May, disparaging vote by mail, Trump's reelection campaign spent $650,000 on Facebook ads over the past week,

encouraging his supporters to request absentee ballots. So if your great aunt who lives in Scottsdale and refuses to try sushi because it's raw suddenly asked you for help working her printer, just tell her you're busy and distract her by saying your pronouns are they them. Yeah, I mean, that's fair. Yeah, she'll get on Twitter and yell about it. During Trump's intentionally divisive visit to Kenosha, he posed in front of a burned-down business with a man pretending to be the current owner of the shop. The current owner was furious because he committed arson for the insurance.

Groans, scattered applause. Wait, I have more. Here we go. This is in the voice of that owner. Okay, you ready? Okay, all right. You try to take advantage of some unrest to get a little insurance money, retire, maybe head down to Scottsdale with the missus. It's not right, but you know what? One time, you take a little extra. One time in your whole goddamn life, you don't play by the rules. You Well, yeah, dang. I want that guy to find peace. Clearly his business wasn't cutting it. He just wanted a new life. I understand. Cut him some slack, you know? Yeah, I mean, Akilah, I know you're a roommate. I think you've probably thought about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

On Monday, Joe Biden came out of his basement to give a speech in Pittsburgh, America's basement. I want to be clear that I apologize to Joe Biden and I apologize to Pittsburgh for saying those things. I don't. I am a Bengals fan. Pittsburgh can eat my shorts. Continue. Eat my shorts. During the speech, Biden said this.

He said this week, and I quote, you better vote for me or you're going to have the greatest depression you've ever seen. Trump, in response, gave a series of absolutely wild television appearances. First, he accused Biden of being on drugs. What do you think he's on? I'll tell you what. Well, he's on some kind of an enhancement, in my opinion. And I say we should both. I should take a drug test, so should he.

Because we don't want to have a situation where a guy is taking some kind of a drug. It's like athletes? No, no. He should take, I want to take one. I'll take one. He'll take one. We should both take a drug test. That hydroxychloroquine spokesman is right.

Taking drugs outside of a controlled clinical setting is dangerous. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. You made the point. We must make sure, Akilah, that our candidates are not taking governing enhancing drugs. That's exactly right.

What message would that send to the child candidates, the Pete's Buttigieg, the John's Ossoffs, these young people, these influencers? At this point, I would hope that Trump would take The Pete's Buttigieg, the John's Ossoffs, these young people, these influence. At this point, I would hope that Trump would take some governing and if it means we could get out of this shit, like figure something out, Doug. Then outdoing himself, Trump decided to share his thoughts about one of Antifa's weapons of choice. Oh, yeah.

And then they have cans of soup, soup. And then they have cans of soup. Soup. And they throw the cans of soup. That's better than a brick because you can't throw a brick. It's too heavy. But a can of soup, you can really put some power into that, right? And then when they get caught,

they say, no, this is soup for my family. They're so innocent. This is soup for my family. It's incredible. And you have people coming over with bags of soup, big bags of soup. I've heard of the anarchist cookbook, but this is ridiculous. Hey, Akilah.

Hey, Akilah. What do you call Donald Trump complaining about bisque? You call him a soup Nazi. Okay. Hey, what's next, Akilah? Is he going to sign an executive order that says no soup for you? It's too early for that one. Hey, Akilah, who do you think he's going to unleash to deal with these soup-wielding antifa?

I don't know, John. Who? It's the gazpacho Gestapo. I'm sorry. Is my mic not working? Gazpacho Gestapo. You know, I think you can say it one more time. These militias are very serious. It's very scary.

The soup thing really struck me only because I'm like, how many instances of giant bags of soup were there? This is a one, this is like Paul Bunyan level, like tall tale. Like, it's not like a lot of people saw this happen. This was a real thing. This Antifa, they got this one guy, he's real strong. He's stronger than an engine. He can cut through a mountain with two hammers.

Stronger than any engine. He can beat the engine. That's what's so amazing about this Antifa. That's how strong they are. Brutal, strong, evil people with two hammers. They can get through the mountain. 20 feet tall. 30 feet tall. One of these guys, Antifa, they got this big blue ox. And they say his life doesn't matter. Oh, man. Blue ox. And they say his life doesn't matter. Oh, man. Blue ox. Blue ox.

Blue ox lives matter. We've done it. The height of comedy. Wrap it up. We're done. The applause sign is down, I guess. It's broke. Spark's coming up.

The applause sign fell on a tourist visiting from the Midwest. And they had tickets for Cordon tomorrow. And then after saying Joe Biden was controlled by the far left, he said this to Laura Ingraham. She's not controlling anything. Who do you think is pulling Biden's strings? Is it former Obama officials? People that you've never heard of. People that are in the dark shadows.

People that are— What does that mean? That sounds like conspiracy theory. Dark shadows. What is that? No, people that you haven't heard of. They're people that are on the streets. They're people that are controlling the streets.

We had somebody get on a plane from a certain city this weekend. And in the plane, it was almost completely loaded with thugs wearing these dark uniforms, black uniforms with gear and this and that. They're on a plane. Where is this? I'll tell you sometime, but it's under investigation right now. I don't know about you, Akilah, but I love Antifa Air. The rewards program is comparable to Delta. The lounge is fine, though mostly they have milk and soup. But a little

travel hack, all right? A little tip. Don't buy a first class ticket. That is a trap. You will regret it. I just, I think my favorite part about him talking about Antifa is that they're telling these looters that are on the plane together are telling the people who aren't looters who just got on the wrong plane, I guess, that they're looters. Like, that's just like, oh, what are you doing? Are you traveling for business or pleasure? Looting mostly. I was hoping to burn down a target. Anyway, meanwhile, as Trump is fanning the flames of conspiracy theories, Senator Joni Ernst, facing a tough reelection, parroted a QAnon conspiracy theory that the number of coronavirus dead is drastically inflated.

Joni, if you want to get fired that badly, just tweet something awful when Betty White dies. She's never going to die is the problem. I mean, not a problem. I'm glad she's going to live forever. I'm just saying that that lady is never going to get that opportunity, Jon. The face you made,

the horrified face is something I won't forget. Yeah, I went through all five stages of grief at once. And finally, this week, Senator Ed Markey defeated challenger Joe Kennedy in the Democratic Senate primary in Massachusetts. This is a huge victory for the Green New Deal, progressives, and for Twitter users who posted pictures of Ed Markey from the 80s because it seemed like the thing to do. It's true. Shout out to all of you. I just hope that the world is still here when I'm old so that people can remember when I was hot. Anytime something happens, I'm like, remember when she was hot? And I'm like, that's right. Post that pic. There was an interview that Fran Lebowitz, the writer, gave about pictures,

and she said that when she was younger, she hated pictures of herself. But over time, she likes all old pictures of herself because all the ways in which you thought you looked good or bad fade away and you just look young. And I know that that's a smart thing to embrace when I see photos of myself now that I hate, but I can't because I'm in it. You know? Yeah. I'm in it.

Yeah. It's like how I've always thought if I just lost like five pounds or like five pounds from my like stomach went to my butt, like that would be everything. And I'm like, yeah, but now it's 10. Now it's 15. It's literally not getting any better. So why can't I just appreciate it? Yes.

I feel the same way. Like the deeper we get into quarantine life, the more photos from last year that I was like, we got to get our shit together are now like, who is that fucking model? Yes, I'm like, look at her walk down the hall. Yeah, her thighs were touching and in a beautiful way, in a way that we all appreciated for what it was. It's a lesson. And just one more note on the Ed Markey race.

If you listen to the interview, you know that I've exacted some pretty significant concessions from Senator Ed Markey on the issue of daylight saving. And I will not forget it. And I will return to it. And I expect him to keep his word. That's all I'll say about that. Okay. So about daylight savings, just a real quick question. Like, which time do you want to be in the one that we're in now or the one from the fall? So here's what I think. Uh, I want, I personally like daylight saving time. I don't want dark at four o'clock. You never want to be plunged into darkness. I never want to be plunged into darkness. I want us to, I want, I think in the end, most places should remain on daylight saving

time permanently. But my actual position is that depending on where you are in a time zone, sunrise and sunset come earlier or later. So sunrise and sunset in Boston is almost an hour earlier than it is in Detroit. So Detroit might be better off in standard time. And Massachusetts might be better off on daylight saving time. My view is that basically right now the law says you can be on either permanent standard time or you can do the time jump to get the summer hours. The time jump is really harmful. So states need a third option, which is that states should be allowed to decide on permanent daylight saving time. Then you give states a window to choose, basically one of three,

keep the time jump, which is mostly pretty harmful. There's probably a few states that might want to keep it. Do standard time, which would be a change for a bunch of states because virtually all states now embrace daylight saving time. Or do permanent daylight saving time, which is already kind of proposed and passed in a number of states if we can get the federal government to change the law. So that's the issue. That's my view on it right now. I'm going to talk to some sleep scientists on this show to kind of keep diving in on this, all right? Because I actually think it's one of those things like it's not ideological, but it's just something that can make life a little bit better. And the time shift is so stupid and harmful and deadly. Like we should probably stop doing this thing that's unnecessary, that kills people every fall and spring.

That's my view. But this is America. And we like not making changes that can prevent preventable death. We actually embrace preventable death. It's one of our. It's actually the third amendment. Under the thing about the hotels with the militias. It's actually right under that.

They're like, also, you guys should probably. Hotels with the militias. Yeah, it was. It was like e pluribus unum. Embrace preventable death. Militias. Yes. But they don't get hotel rooms unless the hotel is cool with it. Yeah, it's got to be two queen beds, not the one king, as I remember it from my schooling.

Oh, man. Hilton shall quarter no troops unless there's a pullout in the room, in the suite. The continental breakfast is not free. It is an additional charge. It is not hot. Akilah Hughes. Oh, my God. Delight, as always.

Thank you so much for joining for the monologue. When we come back, Ronan's here to play the Achuli spread game. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. Joining us. Hey, Kayla. Hi.

We're not up to you yet. Sorry. Joining us from across the couch from me, he's a Pulitzer Prize winning author, journalist. Welcome back to the show, the Grim Reaper for Hansy Creepers,

the King of Consent, the man I catch and kiss. Ronan Farrow. Really? What? Kiss? It's fine. All right.

Say that like... Hi, everyone. Hi, Akilah. Hi. It says here in the notes from Travis, have a nice conversation with your husband. Don't forget to compliment him and notice something about him

you don't normally notice. Isn't he dreamy? You're lucky. You should remind yourself of that more often. Okay, now brush his hair behind his ears and just see where it goes. No thank you, Travis. Ronan, say nothing. Let's be honest.

What Travis is really setting us up for is... What is he setting us up for? More relationship destruction. I know, right? That's right, because... Oh, good point. He just likes to watch the world burn. That's a good point.

That is right, because the questions are going to be awful. So he's setting us up. So just make sure that you compliment. All right, well, here is how. I don't understand the rules. We're entering our answers here, and then we're showing them. Can you just let the? OK.

All right. I mean, you can host it if you want, Ronan. I don't mind. I think you do a great job. And John and I have enough history at this point that we can play. Since our last episode back in the closet, we thought we'd check in as a couple, just like we did back in April, because in 2020, when it comes to spending time as a couple, it's about quantity, not quality.

And we wanted to see just how much we are learning about each other in a segment we call the Achuli Spread Game. As Kumail Nanjiani pointed out the first time we played, sneezing is not a symptom, usually, of COVID-19. But since Rona and I will be playing this game, we are, as you can tell, bringing in an impartial ringer as the host. She's the incredible funny host of Crooked Media's What a Day. You remember from the monologue. Please welcome Akilah Hughes. Oh my god, thank you so much. Wow. I love it here. Warm welcome, warm welcome. Beautiful intro.

All right, well, let's talk about how this game works, all right? So I'm going to ask one of you a question about the other person, and then that person has to write down their answer, and you have to guess what they wrote down. Do you remember that, Ronan? Do you remember that? And the relationship survived the last time, so we're still together, it seems. We're still here. All right, well, if you all are ready, let's just get into it. This first question is for Ronan. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

All right, Ronan. What meal has John learned how to make during quarantine that he's most proud of? Oh, that's a hard one. You have to write it down. I know, I know. All right, I have my answer written down. All right, I know my answer. Okay, Ronan, what do you think? It's the kind of tomatoey and anchovy-heavy,

saucy pasta by some chef of note. Wow. Some celebrity chef. Am I right? No, because that is one pasta ago. You're close. That was the Alice in Roman pasta, but of course,

we've moved on to the Chrissy Teigen pasta. Oh, yeah. Well, that is politically correct of you. You know, at least you're in the pasta lane. You're right.

I want to be clear, by the way. This isn't a political answer. This is purely because that spicy miso pasta from Chrissy Teigen rules. It rules.

It's good. And if you want to make it, you'll like it. That's a real endorsement. I love Chrissy. Oh, my God. Okay. All right. All right. It's good. And if you want to make your, you know, make it, you'll like it. That's a real endorsement. I love Chrissy. Oh my, okay. All right, all right. We get it.

She's the queen. Love her pasta. Mayor of Twitter. We love Chrissy. She rules over us. Whatever she says goes. Chrissy Teigen. I appreciate her

Animal Crossing game. Okay, all right. We've sucked up to Chrissy plenty. She's the best. All right, well, this question is for John. Love it. All right, Jonathan.

What is Ronan's favorite thing he read during quarantine what what is the what is ronan red he's still typing it seems like a long answer first of all by the way it's like we're not doing a lot of reading but so let's well no that's not true if you're on twitter you're reading favorite thing i think what we're running up against here is we are no longer literate, Akilah. No, but there's one, you read one thing, you kept trying to get me to read it with you, and I wouldn't.

You read one thing. I did read a thing. You were reading something, you know what I'm talking about though, Ronan? Do you know what I'm referring to? That you were saying like, oh, we should read this together, and I was like, no, I'm not going to read anything, I'm going to watch Golden Girls. No, I read something that was very fun that I thought you'd enjoy, that I was trying to get you to read. But I'm really'm really i know do we have an answer i'm at it i

don't have an answer but uh this is amazing book any book you could lie you have a book can you write a book down i did write a book down and it is a book that i i read during quarantine can you give him a hint about the book give me a hint give me like one tiny hint is a book that I read during quarantine. Can you give him a hint about the book? Give me a hint. Give me like one tiny hint. Is the book heavy? I'm sorry. You all are killing me right now. Alex Trebek would know. I'm going to guess In Cold Blood.

No, I was going to say Kafka by the Shore. Kafka by the Shore. That was something you read when you were reading. We just, we blew it. Let's just face it. You know what? It's okay. This is the beginning of the game.

It's not over. Kafka by the shore. Kafka by the shore. Here is a question for Ronan, who read Kafka by the shore. As we all know now, what traits, skill, or interest does John Lovett have now that has been transferred to you over the course of this quarantine? Okay. Immediately thought of something.

Yeah, no, I know. Oh, no. You know what it is? Yeah, absolutely. Can't stop laughing at you all. It's like really clear. Yeah, very clear to me. Oh, no.

What awful trait have I conveyed to him just during quarantine? It's like really just during quarantine. Like over the course of quarantine. Over the course. It has to be exclusively during the course. It says over the course. I think I know what you're referring to. If it has to be.

I mean, listen, I guess I'm the one who decides. So it doesn't have to be, I guess, only. But okay. Okay. Thank you. My answer is Diet Coke fiend. Yeah, that's it yes that's it oh wait oh he's supposed to say it he's supposed to say it and confirm it you're just gonna have to trust

me that i was going to say i've trusted you because you didn't even waver there was not even a moment no there's no doubt you would have like i was not a diet soda drinker or a soda drinker full stop i was a water guy i was a juice guy I was a milk guy and now the vices have transferred yeah really the soda really no no fun vices actually just the diet

yeah you're like it's a really wholesome vice it's a little bit of caffeine yeah sort of insulting to eating cookie dough by the jar yeah

alright that has yet to transfer over as in as fulsome a way as he embraces the cookie dough from the jar lifestyle I'll take it

when it's available well here is a question for john lovin all right who should have ronan kept in better touch with during quarantine wow i mean i know my answer i miss you ronan where have you been thank you akilah let's hang we i could stand outside your house and just wave. You know, that would be better than my social life baseline at this point. I don't see people. My serotonin would completely refill. I'm going to do a category. I'm going to do a category of person.

Oh, wow. Curveball. Maybe. I don't know. Listen, I'm fine with you. Okay, category's fine. Childhood friends. The answer is law school friends

that was my other answer did you know any of your childhood friends in law school did they go to law school as well

no but I am still friends with a few like second grade fifth grade summer camp friends not high school because you skipped

high school that's pretty tight it's not a big deal there you go I don't think it's actually a good thing because there's a bunch of social kids he missed. That's why I'm so dysfunctional.

You know, I can relate. I skipped middle school, so I have this inflated sense of confidence that wasn't beaten out of me at age 11. Yeah. That's what happened here. That's what happened here. I'm like, sorry, guys. By the time you knew me, I was hot. It's unfortunate, but we all know the truth.

Yeah. My awkward phase is about to end. High school seems like a nightmare. Everything I know about high school is from, like, you know, breakfast club or something, and it just seems terrible to me. Yeah, if you learn from, like, movies, it's just, like, people with hot step siblings that want to date them. Like, that's what I've learned from high school movies.

Nothing else. Well, Ronan, this one's for you what is the hobby that john decided to pick up in quarantine that he has already abandoned he's giving up on a dream so many dead dreams a dream deferred dead inside hobby you know you it was easy you know the answer instantly it was simple to you? For me. Okay. Okay. Seems like Ronan has been thinking about all of these things in your life. Just negative, dark thoughts about stuff.

Yeah, you're like, I know what he's giving up on. Raising through my mind. I'm going to say... I mean, is this fully abandoned or sometimes returns to? Hope springs eternal, Akilah. That's right. You know, we can never judge. The correct answer is

Ring Fit Adventure. Oh, that's right. I said cooking because I couldn't think of anything, but I did give up on the Ring Fit Adventure. You still cook. That's fair.

I still cook a bit, but not as much as you. Yeah, I mean, we just heard about this pasta. I was grilling salmon. I had to like borrow, beg, and steal and strangle a man

with my bare hands to get a copy of Ring Fit Adventure. For people who don't know, it's a fitness game. You killed. Tension ring. Oh, I've heard about this. I had to kill Yoshi.

Oh, wow. It's very sad. Do you guys have like just like pieces of this game? Just like it came with extra crap? There's detritus from the abandoned Ring Fit. No. I still do the Ring Fit occasionally. It's a very good workout.

It must be nice. All right. Some of us are struggling with motivation. Yeah, I love it. I still do the ring fit occasionally. It's a very good workout. It must be nice. All right. Some of us are struggling with motivation. You know what? I love it. I got it. Point taken. I'll work out more.

All right, Mr. Levitt, this is for you. Both of us with the motivation. Ask my editors. All right. It's Tuesday evening, and Ronan wants to flake on a Zoom happy hour. What is the excuse? Okay, that's easy. That's easy.

That's easy. I got it. I'm so flattered that you think that I'm invited to Happy Hour. Hey. Hey. We're supposed to believe you wouldn't be invited. You're a Disney prince. Get out of here.

Sit down. I have my answer. It's easy. I have my answer. I'm ready to call it out. It's super simple. Super easy. All right.

The excuse is he's on deadline. That is correct. I am on deadline. A perfect, a perfect excuse. I gotta say, what's really exciting about this is we did much worse in April. All right? We did much worse in April. We were really struggling.

Oh, yeah, there was great discord. And we are getting questions right. Yeah. I just want to be clear. This is a real excuse. He's always on deadline. It's not a fake excuse. Yeah.

I mean, if you think about it, life is just one long deadline. Yeah. You're never lying. Dying since the day we were born, Akilah. Yeah. I mean, if you think about it, life is just one long deadline. Yeah. You're never lying. Dying since the day we were born, Akilah. Yeah. Every day I get a little bit closer to the whatever happens there. Well, that got dark again. This is a really dark edition of the Lewis game.

We never keep up. No, we're having so much fun. Yeah. The backdrop is the end of the world. Not us. We're just living in it. Oh, God. All right.

Well, this is the final question final question for ronan there's two there's a final question final question for ronan okay it is 2 a.m and postmates is at the door again what did john order oh that's easy all right, are you ready to confirm? Go. Chicken parm. The look. McDonald's? Oh, come on. At 2 a.m.? What's coming at 2 a.m.? Okay, 2 a.m.

I mean, my L.A. shade says nothing. I think you'd still might try chicken parm. It's hard to find a good chicken parm at 2 a.m., but I can get some nugs. All right, I stand corrected. That is a fair correction. He is discerning in his chicken parm fandom. That's a good point. And I personally haven't had a chicken nugget this entire time. And that is what I'm having for lunch now. So thank you for that inspiration.

I love a chicken nugget. There's that internet chain letter called Roko's Basilisk, which is this idea that the entire world is an evil simulation by an AI that's testing us to see if when the time comes, we will bow to the AI. And so this is a simulation to find out if we're people that are on the robot side or people on human side. And so the test is somebody will say to you, have you heard of Roko's Basilisk? And then you find out that you're living in a simulation and you have to decide whether or not you would support the robot or not. And I obviously support the robot. I support the AI. I would do whatever they said. That's how the robot knows to unplug me and give me a good life

and not punish me for all eternity. The point being... Oh, we just got the tolerant nod from Akilah. I'm like, sure. Sure, that happened. The point being, chicken nuggets are in many ways like the Rocco's Baskalus in the senses. When somebody introduces the concept of chicken nuggets to you in the simulation, the simulation

then finds out whether or not you'll order them or not, because just the idea of them compels us to eat them. I think John just vented his secret anxiety that I'm a Cylon, is what just happened. I think I got a cut down on the micro doses. Yeah, you gotta like really lock up your inbox. I feel like you're getting a lot of spam that you're reading for some reason. Delete.

So, final question. Final question. Here we go. Oh, there's one more. Yes, for John. Okay. Here we go. Everyone knows. Wow, I didn't write this question, so before I get to it, I just want to apologize.

Is this the one that tears us apart? We'll find out. Okay, we'll find out. I mean, it might ruin our friendship, so I just want you to know, I didn't write this. We know that this is, whatever is about to happen

is an instigation by a scamp named Travis, and we will fall for it. The only thing we can say for sure at any given time in this game is that Akilah's, my friendship will remain strong. That's right. I am never going to be invited back.

That will survive. Well, this was, this has been real. This, these years of friendship, I appreciated them, John.

Oh my God. What is this fucking question? All right. It was going so well. I don't feel comfortable asking, but I'm going to. I just wanted to be clear that I, I may end the segment.

I just may end this. Whatever this question is, I am very much prepared to end this right now. What is the question, Akilah? Here we go. The question is... Fuck you, Travis. How dare you, Travis. I want everyone to know that we actually cut the last question.

We actually cut it. You should leave it all of the buildup. It literally just... Akilah should let the last question. We actually cut it. You should leave it all of the build up. It's literally just. Let the team decide. No, the team will not decide. Akilah Hughes. This was great. This got so weird at the end.

Especially the stuff we cut was great. Yeah. All I can say is you all missed out on the real After Dark version of this. When we come back, we'll see if you succeed in booking me on this segment again. Yeah, I just got fired weirdly. It was weird. Everybody did great except for Travis. When we come back, we'll have my interview with Imani Barbarin about some of the hurdles

people with disabilities face to participate in democracy and what we can do to be involved. Thank you, Akilah. Thank you. Bye, guys. Bye, Akilah. Thank you, Ronan. Bye, Ronan. Thank you, Akilah. Thank you. Bye, guys. Bye, Akilah. Thank you, Ronan. Bye, Ronan. Thank you, Ronan Farrow.

Ronan, a hero. Weird. You all are so cute. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. She's a writer, blogger and disability rights activist. Welcome Imani Barbarin. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so glad to be here.

So I've been eager to talk to you for a while. But like right now at this moment, we are in the midst of a kind of cycle of political conversation. And I know you've tweeted about this, but you know, Trump today denied that he had mini strokes and that it's not affecting his gait. There's been this attack and insult directed at him after, you know, he walked down the ramp slowly. On the other hand, Trump attacks Biden for being Sleepy Joe, for not being out there, for being mentally unfit and taken over by AOC and Antifa. So this has obviously become a part of this campaign. How do you feel about that? How do you see it? And what do you think is the, if there is any, a kind of appropriate way

to push back on Trump's attacks on Biden on issues like this? Well, I think any sort of conversation around capacity is the wrong one. Anybody has the capacity for harm, whether or not you believe they are intelligent or not, which intelligence is a construct as well. And so I really think that we need to be evaluating people's actions absent of this conversation of intelligence and brainpower, willpower, physicality. Because we have we're seeing a very, very detrimental record from the Trump administration on disability. When we think about the 180,000 lives lost, most of them are people with disabilities or pre-existing conditions. I'd rather talk about that than talk about whether or not he's using a ramp to get up to a speech to spew hate. For me,

I'm like, who cares about how he got up there? What is he saying once he's there? A lot of times we like to think of these isms, whether it be ableism or racism, as a way to hurl and discredit any sort of political candidate. And it doesn't really work because it always harms people that are marginalized based on ability. You know, having a conversation on whether or not Trump can hold a cup doesn't hurt Trump. It hurts the person that needs to help holding a cup. Having talks about intelligence doesn't hurt people. It hurts the person that needs to help holding a cup. Having talks about intelligence doesn't hurt people like, quote unquote, Sleepy Joe. It hurts the person who's thinking about running for political office that may have a pre-existing condition. And it sets

the mindset of people and potential voters whenever a person with a disability decides they may or may not want to run for office. I obviously agree with you. And I've even found myself after the ramp incident, right? Trump then does this crazy speech where he spends like 30 minutes, middle of a pandemic, he spends 30 minutes talking about the ramp. We made fun of him on one of the shows, I don't know, about how much of a big deal he was making about this ramp, how much it got to him. And a few people commented that, you know, you're contributing to this ableist discussion. And it really did give me pause. Like, wait, hold on a second. Am I like making a mistake here? Am I not being thoughtful

enough about this issue? Where I landed was that that's right. Of course, that's right. What do we do when there's somebody like Trump who makes basically being strong, being able, a centerpiece of his both his persona and his attack against Joe Biden, when one of our jobs has to be to make Trump look weak, to attack him for being a hypocrite, to attack him on some of these scores? What is the way to have that conversation without being ableist, without contributing to the harm you're talking about to a person who deserves every opportunity, but can't lift a cup? And it shouldn't be part of how we evaluate that person. Well, even just the way you asked that question, you used the word crazy,

which is a euphemism for mental health illness. And so we have to really evaluate our everyday language around ability and disability. When you use an analogy like mental health illnesses to denote something that is out of place or does not belong, then it'll never belong. And so when we talk about presidential candidates who use bluster and who use this idea of strength, there's a lot of ways in which he's weak that have nothing to do with his physicality or mental health. He likes to talk about making deals he can't make a deal to save his life he talks about his pandemic response that has been non-existent you talk he talks about um the way in which voters see him he's now what 13 down in the polls in comparison to biden we have to start thinking

about who people are and not necessarily how they present themselves, because that's the way you evaluate in which they are, quote unquote, really strong, because there are people like Tammy Duckworth, whose physicality does not lend itself to looking, quote unquote, strong in the traditional sense. She could dress somebody down in a congressional hearing any day of the week right so we have to really think that you know it's i'm glad you point it's funny like even in a conversation where i'm trying to be as thoughtful as possible the word the you know where i'm trying to to kind of reflect the values we're trying to sort of represent in this conversation i say crazy right

it just it's a word that just comes to me naturally. And what do I mean when I call him crazy in that circumstance? I mean, self-defeating, narcissistic, giving an extra amount of attention to something that doesn't deserve it, in some ways untethered from reality. I go to this word crazy. And I'm really honestly just sort of reflecting on the fact that those parts of our language are so common. How do we begin to make that change to shift away from those words? Because I know there's a lot of people that hear something like this and are like, it's just a word that means, we all know what it means when we ascribe it to Trump. What's wrong with using the word? It's not like doctors diagnose people as crazy, right? It's not like we

use that. It's not in the list of, it's not a diagnosis. It's not a specific illness. It's a kind of representation of something we all know when we see it. How do you fight that kind of ingrained thing? Something I'm displaying in real time. I mean, it took a lot of work and I'm not going to pretend that changing your lexicon in the way you describe things will not. It takes a lot of work. I slip up all the time and I'm'm not saying that anybody is perfect, or gets to a place when it's 100% accurate in terms of not using ableist language. But I know that I really try to reflect on what am I actually trying to say? Is it quote unquote crazy? Or is it nonsensical? Is it quote unquote insane? Or is it out of place? like using the actual what i actually mean instead of the placeholder because a lot of times english language is just a placeholder for something else

so i really try to go back on what i'm trying to say and think what am i actually trying to get across with this word yeah shocking and unexpected and and wrong or dangerous or silly or what have you uh so let's talk about voting crooked we've launched every last vote which is about shocking and unexpected and wrong or dangerous or silly or what have you. So let's talk about voting. Crooked, we've launched Every Last Vote, which is about supporting organizations and volunteering for organizations that are helping fight voter suppression and turn out the vote, especially amongst marginalized communities. What are the big obstacles or challenges for the disabled community in voting, in accessing voting?

And what are some of the ways the pandemic has heightened those problems? There are so many different aspects to voting and disability. Sometimes I'm at a loss for words for just how deep it goes. There are people that don't believe people with disabilities should vote. There are people that think that disabled people are too much of a burden in terms of the electoral process. You know, there are also things like signature matching in some places. There are people confuse proximity with accessibility. So simply because I have a voting ballot in my hand

does not make it accessible to a lot of people. There are people who need plain language ballots. There are people who are blind that need digital ballots so that they can read it on their computer screen using a screen reader. There are people who have dexterity issues that cannot fill out a ballot. And even for me, ballots are confusing. Like, what am I voting on? And you just check it off and you're like, okay, was that a good or bad thing I just did? And so in a lot of ways, voting is inaccessible. There are polling stations where the machine isn't even plugged in for an accessible voting unit. There are people in where the machine isn't even plugged in for an accessible voting unit. There are people in jails who are not convicted of a crime who don't know

that they can vote. These are all disability issues. And so with the pandemic, a lot of people with disabilities are extremely fearful of being outside because we're automatically high risk. And not only that, but you're wondering, do poll workers have enough training? Because there's a new like poll worker incentive. We're trying to get more poll workers that are under the age of 60. So will they really be trained well enough to get disabled people to vote and things like that? So there's so many different aspects. There's mailbox issues. There's like, am I bound in time? The list goes on. It's all the universal access problems compounded by specific accommodation issues. So for people listening, you know, we actually are right now signing up people to work in the polls.

We're reaching out to people to be volunteers. What can a person without a disability who's going to be a poll worker, who's going to be a volunteer in Canvas and reach out to people? What is the best way to your mind that they can be allies to make sure that people with disabilities can vote and every one of their votes will be counted? Make sure your materials are accessible and make sure that you're using multiple ways of expressing the exact same information. Make sure that there's no barrier between the person you're speaking to and the information you want to give them. Also make sure that you're incorporating people with disabilities in the planning process of everything that you do. So when we talk about signing people up to vote, people with disabilities

should be poll workers too if they feel so led. I know that this is a scary time, but I think that there are those that want to take that risk. I think that there's a lot of power to being seen at the polls and being seen casting your ballot. Traditionally, there are people like myself who's Black and disabled, whose ancestors fought for the right to vote. So there's a power to being going to the polls. So there will always be a certain percentage of people with disabilities going because they simply desire to be seen and counted. And making sure that you have seating available for people who want to wait online, there's a whole host of things that you could be doing. And always check in with your production

advocacy agency for your state. And they do a lot of work around voting every single year, and they'll have advice for you. In the fight to save the Affordable Care Act to protect access to Medicare, to prevent the repeal of pre-existing conditions. There were no groups that fought harder and I think had a bigger impact than disability advocates. They were an extraordinary part of the coalition who, through sit-ins, through protests, through campaigns, really played an instrumental role in saving the Affordable Care Act. We are now heading into this election. We are now, you know, heading into this election.

What do you view as the biggest fight for disability rights if we do manage to win, if we are in a different world come January? What is on your mind and what do you think people need to know? Are this sort of the next transformational fights, not just about what we can save, but about changes we can make? The big one is home and community-based services. What we're seeing right now with the pandemic is that a majority of the clusters are in congregate care settings like nursing homes, institutions, jails, and prisons. And so people need to be served medically in their own homes. We need to get people to move into their own communities because it is life-saving. That is necessary. We need to have it happen. And right now, there's such a big push in disability circles to get that done because things like nursing homes are extremely scary. I lived in a nursing home for about two months in 2015, and it was a depressing, devastating place. You wouldn't want anyone to live there, including people with disabilities. That is the big push that people are looking for now, making sure people can get the services that they need in their own communities.

And a note to that is that people think that just because a person with a disability needs help, they need to be warehoused somewhere in order for that to happen. Needing help does not make you helpless and needing help does not mean that your life is any less than anyone else's. does not make you helpless, and needing help does not mean that your life is any less than anyone else's. So we need to start unpacking that stereotype and getting people into their communities. Joe Biden, the campaign has launched a plan for full participation and equality for people with disabilities. Does that plan do enough to your mind on helping people stay at home, stay in their communities? How do you think Joe Biden is doing as a candidate in terms of advocating for people with disabilities? Yeah, to my knowledge, a lot of disabled people are extremely excited about this aspect. Kamala Harris was actually the first candidate in the

primaries to introduce a disability plan that incorporated home and community-based services. And so I do think that it is a step in the right direction. And I think that there's so many other things that we could be doing, like Social Security, cost of living increases, means testing for Medicare and Medicaid as well, because the current system kind of traps disabled people in poverty unless they decide to try to find a way to work, which is very much so a tightrope walk.

I am kind of upset with his reluctance to embrace universal health care. And I think that we really do need universal health care. I think we underestimate how many people with disabilities and with chronic illnesses live in this country who are uninsured or underinsured because they're kind of this in-between population. So that's kind of where I want him to go next. What are you watching right now? What are you streaming? What's the dumbest thing you're watching?

What are you streaming? I watched two seasons of Cobra Kai in two nights. Wow. People like Cobra Kai. I was very shocked that I liked it. And I was like, why am I watching this? My dad and I used to watch the Karate Kid when I was younger and so it kind of brought back

memories pretty much that or The Game which is a show that I used to watch with my mom but yeah like I'm not proud of my streaming choices at all. Here's the thing this has been a terrible terrible time but I think the one permission

it has given all of us is to not be apologetic about the things that we're watching. Forget drama or tension. I do not have the acuity right now to meet new characters. I don't want to learn any new names. I don't want to find out any backstories. I need Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia. I need Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer. I cannot deal with new people. I need Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer. I cannot deal with new people.

I need to just unwind. So I don't think we should be apologetic at all for watching Cobra Kai. Yeah, the Rose family from Schitt's Creek knows me extremely, extremely well. Shout out to Dan Levy. So yeah, he's really been my rock throughout this time, which is very, you know, my boyfriend's in the other room. Can you stop watching? You've watched it like six or seven times at this point. But it's so comforting.

Well, Imani, thank you so much for taking the time. You know, these are important issues that we should be, I think, talking about more. So I'm glad to finally get a chance to have you on the show. And maybe we can touch base again as we get closer to the election about ways people can help to make sure everybody gets the chance to vote.

Yes, absolutely. Thank you for having me. Thanks to Imani Barberin for joining us. When we come back, we're going to hear from listeners about the things they're doing to stay motivated as we head into the election. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. This week, instead of a high note, we wanted to talk to listeners directly about what they're doing to stay motivated as we head into the home stretch. So let's hit the phones. Hello? Hi, is this is it Aubrey or Abri? Abri. Abri. See, it was a third option. Hi, Abri. This is John. You're on with John, as we say here on a podcast. How you doing? Oh, this is so exciting. I am doing great. How are you?

You know, we're fine. Everybody's, I'm okay. All right. We're in the homestretch. There are 60 days to go. What are you doing to stay motivated? So I work for a criminal justice reform organization called Cut 50. We work with formerly and currently incarcerated people and people that are just involved with our justice system. And so I am very committed to working to make sure that their rights are restored, specifically to vote, especially in elections. And I think I'm encouraged every day by seeing people who have been defined by the worst thing they've ever done and turn that pain into motivation to change the world and to change laws. I think there's a lot more that can be done. And I think if things change in November, I think we'll have a really good shot at getting people freedom. So I'm motivated by that. You know, we are a country that thrives and our democracy functions better when everybody has a voice in it. So I am motivated by that and

excited about it. I think our justice involved community is the community that needs to be heard and they are the community that will turn out and vote because they're impacted by laws in a disproportionate way. Okay. Abri, thank you so much for sharing that. Let me ask you this question. What are you streaming right now? What are you watching? What am I watching right now? This is going to sound so bad, but I have rewatched Vanderpump rules like 15 times during quarantine. Rewatch rewatch. That is awful. That is awful.

I don't want to judge. My brain is just like mush. I don't want to judge. All of our brains are mush, but I'm rewatching things too. I just, I'm rewatching Seinfeld and I'm rewatching golden girls. You know,

a lot of the crooked cast is watching golden girls. What's happening. I don't know why I listen to you guys and to keep it. And Ira talks about Golden Girls all the time. I just I never watched it growing up. And I don't know if I can commit to it on Hulu right now. And I understand that. And I joke, but I support. Look, all of our brains are mush and I can't meet new characters. And so I totally understand watching Vanderpump Rules. Brie, thank you so much for sharing what motivates you. I appreciate it. Yeah, of course. Take care. Stay safe. You too. Watch Vanderpump Rules and have a good day.

No, everything but that. All right. Have a good one. Hi, is this Laura? Yes, this is Laura. Hi, Laura. You're on with John. Oh my gosh. Calling from the podcast. Oh yeah, sure. Oh. Hi, Laura. You're on with John. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. This is so crazy. Okay. Hello. Hi, Laura. Okay. So, Laura, we're in the home stretch.

We sure are. 60 days to go. What are you doing to stay motivated? So, my husband just became a U.S. citizen this past June. Very exciting. He fled Syria to Jordan. I was living in Jordan and we came here in 2015 and this is the first time he's ever going to vote in his life. And he is so motivated and it's so exciting to see how motivated he is. That's awesome. to see how motivated he is. That's awesome. That it like, I'm like even more excited. It's going to be a crazy election for us, for our family and for everybody really.

But, and then I'm working as a poll worker. I was inspired and now I think Arlington has like too many poll workers. So I'm waiting for my precinct to be assigned to me, but I'm very excited about that too. That's awesome. Thank you for signing up to do that. Yeah. It's a really scary election, but man, to get to have your first vote be in this kind of consequential moment, given what Trump has been doing around immigration, it's an incredible statement. So I think that's inspiring. When we came to the United States in 2015, He came to the United States in 2015. He received his green card literally the day after the 2016 election.

And like it was the scariest moment, but a big sigh of relief. And we've just worked hard to get him to become a U.S. citizen. His naturalization ceremony had been postponed because of COVID. Thank God he was able to get in in June. And yeah, it's been a wild ride, but we're ready we're ready for to make a change we're ready we're ready we are ready and now Laura I'm asking everybody today what are we what are we clicking play on what are we what are you watching what horrible thing are you streaming during this time oh my gosh I'm a giant fan of Love Island and Below Deck. Those are my mindless TV shows. I'm very invested. No one, no one, literally no one is like, oh, I'm watching a documentary

about Vietnam. It's 100% shit. And I love it. Oh my gosh. Yeah. No, no one has time for that. My brain needs like a go-to and Love Island it is. Well, Laura, congratulations to you. Congratulations to your husband on becoming a citizen and getting to vote in this election. And thank you for sharing your story. And thanks for being a poll worker. Thanks for all the content you guys put out. Keeps me going.

That's what we do here. Content to keep you going. Bye, Laura. Yes, thank you. Let's do one more. I think we only have women who wrote in usually there's a couple

gay guys mixed in there's a guy Will he's been on the show a couple times oh no hey you know what

let's leave this in I want Will to know that we're not calling you Will I can't believe you said that like we wouldn't remember Will either yeah Siddy's like there's this guy Will we said that like we wouldn't remember will either yeah city's like there's this guy will we know will all right we haven't met him it could be a different will it's

not it's not hi is this jess yeah hi jess you're on with john as we say here at love to leave it how you doing hey i'm doing well how are you i'm doing well. How are you? I'm doing fine. Everybody here is fine. Ronan's fine. I'm fine. But the point here is we're trying to get people motivated in the last 60 days after a hard six months, after a hard four years. What are you doing to stay motivated, to stay upbeat? So aside from being enraged all the time by doom scrolling, I try to channel that energy into different local groups around here in Charlotte, North Carolina. So we have an indivisible chapter, and they've tapped me to be the leader in their voter suppression efforts, which is huge in North Carolina, as you may have heard.

To fight voter suppression. You're not trying to suppress the vote. Yeah, I'm not for voter suppression. Anti-voter suppression. Anti-voter suppression. Anti-voter suppression, yeah. So we're trying to stop voter suppression. So we're working with groups like Black Voters Matter. They're getting a caravan to go around to different districts to help get out the vote.

So we're making sure that rolls through District 9, which tried to disenfranchise voters the last time. I'm writing letters through Vote Forward. That's a good way to have my wine at the end of the night. Nice. Also making phone calls through like phone banking for You Can Vote, helping to register voters and helping people to navigate all the different ways in North Carolina that you can vote here. You hear that, people? You hear what Jess is doing? I'm trying. She's writing letters with her Chardonnay, with her Chablis.

John, I'm trying. She's working with LaTosha's group. She's really trying. I'm really trying. I'm really afraid. And that's the only way that I can get through the next 60 days is by doing something. We're all afraid. You can either be afraid and trying or just afraid, I think. Yeah. When you finish writing your letters to Democratic voters who maybe haven't voted in a

while, or when you're done with your meeting with LaTosha's group about turning out the vote, Latasha's group about turning out the vote. Right. You open up your laptop or you turn on your TV. And look, let's all face it. No one has ever said in these conversations that they're watching something that they're proud of. What are you watching? I started watching Friday Night Lights.

I've never watched that before. Compared to some of the reality shows that we have heard today, that is opera compared to some of the choices people are making, which I support, to be clear. You know, I'm still in the cerebral path. I'm not like going like trash. Amazing. But I mean, the football and the God in Texas is still a little much for me. So I'm trying to get past that. Okay. Okay. Well, Jess, thanks for everything that you're doing. And thanks for, you know, writing all those letters. All right. Thanks so much for calling me.

Love it. Appreciate all you guys do and for keeping us motivated. Thanks, everybody who called in. We still want to hear your high notes. And if you want to leave us a message, you can call us about something that gave you hope at 424-341-4193. There are now 59 days until the election. Sign up for Vote Save America to elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, hold the House,

win the Senate, and elect Democrats up and down the ballot. Thank you to Akilah Hughes, Ronan Farrow, Imani Barbaran, and everyone who spoke to us on the phone. Thank you to our grocery workers, truck drivers, livery people, restaurant workers, flight attendants, teachers, administrators. Thank you to our doctors and nurses and EMTs and first responders. Thank you to our whole staff working to keep this show going out and cricket going strong. And here to send us out a few more back in the closet songs we didn't get to share. Thanks so much for sending them and have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Cricket Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, Elisa Gutierrez, Lee Eisenberg, and our head writer and the president of the East

Sider Biden writers, Travis Helwick. Jocelyn Kaufman, Alicia Carroll, and Peter Miller are Thank you. of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Nar Melkonian and Milo Kim, for filming and editing video each week so you can. about John Lovett recording at home back in the closet delivering news that makes us all depressed so maybe in November someone better will relax let's go back in the closet back in the closet love it or leave it you best believe it please back in the closet it's John Lovett Back in the closet Global pandemic At home with pun Ronan Farrow too Love Italy

We spent it on both sides Of Italy Straight fucking shooter Back in the closet again Remember making 1600 pen On the set all day With Josh Gad and Jenna Elfman. Back in the closet again.

It's better than that blue recycle van. Have an edible chicken parm and some PS4. Chicken parm and some PS4 When you make a podcast Write and record it all Using Zoom You might see from 1 to 10 It's like a 3 But your heart's in it

And you're back in the closet again guitar solo Love it or leave it Back in the closet John Wilbur in a pundit We hope it's alive and Love it or leave it Back in the closet It's not a stickation

It's coronavirus Love it or leave it Back in the closet. Love it or leave it, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Quarantine party tonight. Go grab your earbuds and a cheese croissant

Ready, let's play a game What else were you really gonna do? Suck inside on Saturday Let's get into it. What a week. Workshop up on a love. There is no rat will, but how those wet pants feel. Quarantine party tonight. Back, back, back, back in the closet. Back, back, back, back in the closet, back, back, back, back in the closet for a team party tonight. Where the hell is Ronan? He is our favorite. John is cool also. But back to Ronan, he should be off more. He is our favorite. Love it, love it, he's a straight shoe They're respected on both sides

Him and Ronan, they're dog punting Quarantine party tonight Party, party, it's a quarantine party Party, party, it's a quarantine party Back, back, back, back in the closet Back, back, back, back in the closet Back, back, back, back in the closet Qu back, back, back back in the closet, back, back, back, back in the closet, quarantine party tonight

Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Hey-oh, hey-oh Now you say there's COVID And John can't leave his home That means that John's in the closet

Back in the closet back in the closet Conan is in the closet too Now John has an edible He is feeling kinda good But he's still back in the closet He is feeling kind of good.

But he's still back in the closet. John's in the closet. Ronan is in the closet too. John's gaming or he's watching Dorothy and Rose And Pundit fell asleep John's pining as he misses being on stage He's sleeping on his parachute and writing all his food and noom and now

he needs validation while telling jokes on zoom because he's Back in the closet In the closet Ronan is in the closet too John's in the closet, Ronan is true.

where's my empanada i got no empanada in my bag oh oh there it is all right all right have you ever been hated or discriminated against i have i've been protested and demonstrated against i was respected on both sides of the political scheme like a progressive taco bell double decker taco supreme then one night of vision came to me in the dream a zany sitcom at the white house on the tv screen i had to give myself a hand at the band i had planned for it holland elfman gavin pullman he's a big league brand i was our generation's Norman Lear and this was my opus. Once the pundits could see it, I'd rake in plenty of dough. Let's just imagine my surprise at all the lies that these guys from People TV Guide, Variety, the you never want to watch your TV again. But what hurt the most was when I heard Obama say, this was your worst idea since Monterey. I'm sorry, Obama. I never meant to hurt you.

I never meant to make you cry. So tonight, I'm back inside my closet. I said sorry Obama Seriously John? I never meant to hurt you Spinach and artichoke I never meant to make you cry So tonight I'm back inside my closet

You don't need a new name I got a rich history of closet activity And though I confide that I had to decide to stop denying it at 17 And threw it all by the wayside with all that implied It ain't been a joyride Let's go back to 1993 Before I ever tried to get this fucking show on TV That I had to decide to stop at 9 or 17 and threw it all by the wayside. With all that implied, it ain't been a joyride. Let's go back to 1993. Before I ever tried to get this fucking show on TV.

We took a fateful trip to Hooters. As I sat at the table, I shot my dad a look that said, Get me out if you're able. Then flash forward, and I'm watching Kelsey Grammar and Co. And I'm thinking that one day this kid could have his own show. I'm watching Frasier for days. My eyes are glazed. They're fixed to the screen. I study the ways that they play with their verbal melee.

And I say, have you ever seen the brilliant display of their banter and wit are a part of my DNA? But I'm only human. And my dream would only bring me dismay. What I did was stupid. I was naive to think I'd ever reach the height to what the cranes had achieved. But when Barack came in and told me that he hated my show, I swear I've never felt so low. I'm sorry, Obama. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry. So tonight I'm back inside my closet. I said, sorry, Obama. I said sorry Obama I never meant to hurt you

I never meant to make you cry So tonight I'm back inside my closet So now I've ditched my ambition I found a new competition I'm playing Breath of the Wild Sitting on the floor of my kitchen I got my locks piled high The bagel, cinnamon, raisin

Gotta get my six to ten servings of carbohydrates a day, son. Then I hear a lock turning and I know what's in store. The golden boy himself, Ronan Farrow, opens the door. He's got a closet full of Pulitzers. His plot, it's our legion. While I can't keep the sitcom on the air for more than one season. I'm an interesting person. I take 30 minutes tops to get myself out of an escape room.

Can't keep me in that box. I invent new earthquake measures on a linear scale while I shill for sheets and shams and both sateen and for kale. I'll fuck up Lachlan Murdoch, name the time and the place where I can give that dick

a fair and balanced punch to his face. But Ronan gets the book deals. He's the one who gets praised while I'll be making simply safe ads for the rest of my days i got danger field levels of disrespect but when i look at ronan he keeps saying what you expect i ask what he means he says 1600 pence so i guess it's time to go back in the closet again i'm sorry, Mona. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry.

So tonight, I'm back inside my closet. One more time. I said I'm sorry, Mona. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry. So tonight, I'm back inside my closet Thank you.