Lovett or Leave It - State of Deez Nuts

Episode Date: March 9, 2024

Fear is the mind killer, but Lovett is the kind thriller, in this week’s episode. The State of our Union is strong, and so are Max Silvestri and Ron Funches who stop by to put the “dad” in dad jokes. Kid Fury and Marcella Arguello bring the heat on some hot topics, and Lovett and his guests stand tall as they defend Panda Express, average-sized femmes, and life being over at 40."Subscribe for Lovett or Leave It pre-sale access, starts next week: crooked.com/friends" For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Love It or Leave It. While President Biden gives the State of the Union, I'm here to give you the State of Deez Nuts. Strong enough. And we've got a strong show for you tonight. Ron Funches, Max Silvestri, Kid Fury, and Marcela Arguello are here.

And the luck. Do you understand? You didn't have to watch the State of the Union. We watched it. You're going to get jokes on the State of the Union that just wrapped up. You're going to get all the pertinent information.

We did all of the work. You're so lucky. So let's just don't thank me. You know, Betsy, I thought I was going to see you voting because the last time I saw you, you were at the polling center that I voted at, but you weren't there. You did another, you did, but you volunteered. Give it up for Betsy. I thought I was going to see you. Unlike the State of the Union, you people paid to be here. So let's get into it. What a week.

Taylor Swift urged her millions of Instagram followers to cast ballots on Super Tuesday without endorsing any candidate or party. Wrote Swift, I wanted to remind you guys to vote for the people who most represent you into power. If you haven't already, make a plan to vote today. And that's how Taylor Swift accidentally got elected Attorney General of Utah. Attorney General of Utah. On Wednesday, Nikki Haley suspended her presidential campaign after Donald Trump defeated her in every Super Tuesday primary except Vermont. It seems like we'll have to keep waiting for our first female president, unless of course Marianne Williams' ritual manages to summon that golem to be her campaign manager. He's made of mud and his ideas are just crazy enough to work. Haley said in her concession speech that she has no regrets.

This is why Haley never took off. That is not relatable. I have had like 50 regrets just from waking up this morning until now. Leave it to someone who sat on the board of Boeing to know how to practice radical self-acceptance. Haley congratulated Trump but did not endorse him. It is now up to Donald Trump to earn the votes of those in our party and beyond it who did not support him. And I hope he does that. Her hope is that after basically a decade of running for president and 78 years of being on this earth,

he's going to finally believe he has to earn something. Good luck with that. With Haley out of the race, we've officially got ourselves a Biden-Trump rematch this November. This feels like turning 40. You knew it was coming. There was never any way around it, but somehow deep down in a small secret part of you, you thought maybe you'd be dead already.

In a statement, President Biden invited Haley's voters into the fold, saying that Donald Trump made it clear he doesn't want Nikki Haley supporters. I want to be clear. There is a place for them in my campaign. Come on, Haley voters. You'll learn to love him. Ice cream, sunglasses, sentences that rumble and pop like a Ford Fairmont. Sure, he's not who you saw yourself ending up with, but no offense, you're not going to do any better. Give him a chance. After all, Trump had this to say about Haley's voters on Wednesday. I'm not sure we need too many. And leave that. That's correct. Don't check his facts

on that one. He doesn't need many of anything. You don't need them at all. Keep it up, Mr. President. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, meanwhile, endorsed Trump in the wake of Haley's announcement, saying in a statement, it is abundantly clear that former President Trump has earned the requisite support of Republican voters to be our nominee for President of the United States. It should come as no surprise that as nominee, he will have my support. It's pure logic, you see. If all my friends jump off a bridge, ipso facto, I will jump off a bridge. Now, if you'll excuse me, the gamer 300 years from now playing in this simulation has to go to the space bathroom, so I'm going to freeze here for one to two solid minutes.

Anyway, it's obviously completely pathetic, but not a surprise, because McConnell's whole political career has been organized around the consolidation of power. And so even though after January 6th, McConnell stood on the Senate floor and said there was no question, none, that President Trump is practically and morally responsible for provoking the events of that day, and in the years since, Trump has spent his idle time issuing racist attacks on McConnell's wife, it's not a surprise that he bent the knee the moment Trump locked in the nomination. It's like when a cyber truck cuts you off in traffic and then does a rolling stop through a crosswalk in front of a school. It sucks and you're pissed, but no, you wouldn't call yourself surprised. While Biden won the vast majority of each state's delegates on Tuesday,

the uncommitted campaign in Minnesota won nearly 46,000 votes, 19% and far above the organizer's goal of 5,000 votes. But like a lot of people who are noncommittal in their youth, the choices don't get better. They just get older. committal in their youth. The choices don't get better. They just get older. Dean Phillips also ended his presidential campaign on Wednesday. More like done, Phillips. Phillips endorsed Joe Biden in his stead. It is clear that Joe Biden is our candidate and our opportunity to demonstrate

what type of country America is and intends to be. Dean, Dean, Dean. All right. Also, RFK Jr. said this during an interview this week when asked about flying on Jeffrey Epstein's plane. I run into everybody in New York. I mean, I knew Harvey Weinstein. I knew Roger Ailes. I knew Roger Ailes.

I knew O.J. Simpson came to my house. Bill Cosby came to my house. Oh, never mind then. Sorry we said anything. It's a real who's who of people you don't have to announce have been to your home. Imagine how disappointed each of these sex pests were when they showed up at a party at RFK Jr.'s house

and it was just a bunch of other male sex pests. Like when two FBI agents realized they've been trying to entrap each other. Meanwhile, in the down-ballot race, the Super Tuesday once again lived up to its incredible name. For example, the virulent conspiracy theorist and anti-trans Facebook troll Mark Robinson, who is also the state's lieutenant governor,

will square off against Democrat Josh Stein this fall in the North Carolina race for governor. But no worries, I'm sure Robinson, who has a history of promoting anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and denying the Holocaust, will be incredibly normal while campaigning against Josh Stein. Anywho, here's Robinson in a newly surfaced video from a 2020 event hosted by the Republican women of Pitt County. I absolutely want to go back to the America where women couldn't vote. Do you know why? Because in those days we had people who fought for real social change and they were called Republicans. The logic of this. Back when women didn't have the right to vote,

we fought for real social change, like the right for women to vote. Now you may be wondering, why am I holding this Molotov cocktail? Because right now there's so much that divides us in this room. But in about 15 seconds, we're all going to be united, doing the same thing, running for our lives as flame lap up these curtains. Democratic Representative Adam Schiff is all but guaranteed a place in the Senate as he will face off against Republican Steve Garvey,

who finished before Katie Porter and Barbara Lee in California's Senate race. We tried to fly a whiteboard at half-mast, but it was too heavy. It just kind of clanked against the flagpole. In the wake of Super Tuesday, House Speaker Mike Johnson was asked Wednesday how helpful Trump would be

in ushering in Republican majorities. How big are Trump's coattails this year? Well, his coattails are humongous. He continued, they'd have to be to cover his enormous dumper. Johnson was really on a roll this week when asked about the disposal of embryos that can occur during the IVF process. The House Speaker said this. If you believe life begins at conception, fertilization, and I know you do, do you see that as murder? It's something that we've got to grapple with. You know,

it's a brave new world. IVF's only been invented, I think, in the early 70s. It's a brave new world is also what Mike Johnson said right before he tried sex with music going. Meanwhile, Super Tuesday gave way to boring but important Thursday as the nation gathered to watch the Traders finale and, to hopefully a greater extent, the State of the Union. Not content to remind the country that he sees IVF like the Apple Vision Pro, Speaker Johnson also begged Republicans to show decorum and turn the temperature down to dissuade his more prognacious members from heckling during President Biden's speech.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, actually. Decorum, totally, said Marjorie Taylor Greene, while hoping nobody noticed the rolled up poster of Hunter Biden's hog poking out of her black rifle coffee tote. I'll see what I can do, said Lauren Boebert, while she slid a cooler filled with throwing embryos further under her seat. President Biden arrived late to the State of the Union address, mostly due to a ceasefire protest blocking the presidential motorcade.

Also, it takes a minute to get into full drag. On his way to the podium, Marjorie Taylor Greene, wearing a Trump 2020 hat, in violation of House rules, no less, tried to get Biden's attention only to be drowned out by Democratic applause. And sure, it may seem tacky that Greene wore a Trump baseball cap to the State of the Union, but you have to understand, she had to be at a wedding right after. Democrats clapped and chanted,

four more years, said Biden's personal physician. You're right, it's a good night. It's a good night. President Biden's populist message was front and center during the address where he unveiled a new tax plan that would raise the corporate tax rate to 28%

and raise the corporate minimum tax from 15% to 21%. Love this, but again, he's got to put that ice cream cone down. Biden began his speech by immediately calling out Republicans for not giving him funding for Ukraine and by comparing Ronald Reagan's tear down this wall to Donald Trump's do whatever the hell you want. Mr. Gorbachev, you do you. Biden segued from threats to democracy abroad

to threats to democracy at home. We will not walk away. We will not bow down. I will not bow down. In a literal sense, history is watching. History is watching. Just like history watched three years ago on January 6th when insurrectionists stormed this very Capitol and placed a dagger at the throat of American democracy. I'm loving Joe's energy level tonight. I don't know how many Red Bull IV bags he has

taped to his legs, but it's the perfect number. Said President Biden, in his decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, the Supreme Court majority wrote, women are not without electoral or political power. No kidding. Clearly, those bragging about overturning Roe v. Wade have no clue about the power of women in America. But they found out when reproductive freedom was on the ballot and won in 2022 and 2023, and they will find out again in 2024. If Americans send me a Congress that supports the right to choose, I promise you,

I will restore Roe v. Wade as the law of the land again. That's right. Women have power. And this time, I'm not just talking about what Jill does to me when she gardens in one of my old shirts. But Jill knows what I'm talking about. So you heard him, America. Pokemon Roe to the polls. To highlight the issue of IVF, Senator Tim Kaine brought us his guest, the country's first IVF baby, Elizabeth Carr, to fight Mike Johnson. I will say, though, bringing Elizabeth Carr as a guest did backfire when she rose from her feet and screamed, I don't have a soul. I don't have a soul. I am a zombie monster woman.

I watched life through two openings in the front of my skull, but cannot participate. Biden even got off a laugh during his speech, telling the chamber about infrastructure investments. Some of you who are cheering voted against it. If you don't want that money in your district, let us know. Every Republican, meanwhile, is meeting on Monday with the action item, make bridges collapsing cool somehow. Are bridges gay? A little effeminate, just hanging in the air like that. Real roads stay on land. Biden also announced that the U.S. military will build a floating pier off of Gaza in an emergency mission to allow hundreds more aid shivvins to be delivered by sea. We're supplying a floating pier to help get aid to people in need because the military campaign

we're also supplying is making it impossible to get aid to people in need. If only we had some lever we could use to exert our influence, some way we could put pressure on the Netanyahu government. Oh, well, guess we'll have to come in from the med like Israel is a hostile power, not one of our closest allies. And after all, sure, the military support we provide has helped produce inhumane

and unrelenting misery and deprivation, but good news, we're bringing snacks. Will the hang in there barge also say made in the USA on it, or is it just the bombs? Biden also ran through a list of economic proposals from tax breaks for first time homebuyers, raises for teachers, caps for drug costs, increases to Pell grants, support for family caregivers, a bill to stop shrinkage of goods, and the restoration of the child tax credit, among many others that will surely poll incredibly well, yelled Biden, tears rolling down his cheeks. Is that enough? What will be enough? What if Netflix were cheaper?

Will that do it? Cheaper Netflix? Because I'll tell them to get the plane fueled up. I can be in Hollywood by daybreak. Biden also proposed a 25% minimum tax rate for billionaires. How dare he, said Elon Musk, turning the conspiracy nozzle up at Twitter HQ. No, no, pass Jewish space lasers. President Biden mixed it up with Republicans when they booed his description of their tax breaks. You aren't going to cut

two trillion? Good to hear. He clowned the GOP and he can hear? Biden is crushing this. The most contentious section of the speech was, no surprise, immigration and the border. Marjorie Taylor Greene disrupted the speech, yelling that Biden should say the name of Lakin Riley, who was killed by an undocumented immigrant. He then said the name before pointing out that it was Republicans blocking a bipartisan border bill to hire more Border Patrol agents and secure the southern border. we're parents, I say, my heart goes out to you, having lost children myself. I understand. My Republican friends owe it to the American people. Get this bill done. We need to act now. On the whole, this was Joe Biden at his best. My lifetime has taught me to embrace freedom and democracy, he said, a future based on the core values that have defined America, honesty, decency, dignity, equality, to respect everyone, to give everyone a fair shot, I wish you were a little more specific there. I think he's talking about Trump, but he could also just mean everyone on Facebook. And speaking of Trump, Politico reports that America's worst poster may begin receiving classified briefings as is customary for presidential nominees,

despite the fact that he is currently under indictment for mishandling classified documents at Mar-a-Lago. Can we give him some kind of fake custom briefing about Genovia's nuclear program? You know that's the fake country from the Princess Diaries. I know that's the fake country from the Princess Diaries. I know that's the fake country from the Princess Diaries. But he doesn't know that's the fake country from the Princess Diaries. Obviously, this has intelligence officials quite concerned. One senior official told Politico, I mean, who knows what kind of riff he would do? We know. We know what kind of riff he would do. We've been watching him riff for the better part of a decade. We can imagine it in vivid, excruciating detail. And speaking of indicted politicians with access to classified

material, New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez and his wife, Nadine Menendez, who you may remember from being charged with bribery after stashing a bunch of gold bars around the house, have now also been charged with obstruction of justice. They can only run from police so fast in those suspiciously heavy shoes, holding those suspiciously bulky wigs. It's so cool that this guy hasn't resigned from the Senate. I get self-conscious showing up at work when my hair's being weird. Speaking of our worst senators, Kyrsten Sinema announced Tuesday that she will not seek re-election to her Arizona Senate seat, after all, as her independent bid was polling terribly against Democratic veteran Ruben Gallego and Republican maniac Carrie Lake. Sinema also realized her talents were better suited to

being the president of every condo board and homeowners association in America. That is the role she was born to play. Oh, I'm sorry, but we don't allow that kind of bush. While a guest on Stephen Colbert this week, Bernie Sanders told Sinema, don't let the door of Congress hit you on the way out. We work with the president for something we call Build Back Better. We had zero Republican support. We had 48 people in the Democratic caucus prepared to transform this country on behalf of the working class of America. Two people, Sinema being one, Manchin the other,

refused to support us. We couldn't pass it. So no, I will not miss Sinema, Sinema. Nice. Listen, we've been pretty tough on Sinema here at Love It or Leave It, but now that she's announced her retirement, I just want to step back for a moment and say, in the interest of all fairness, it was all warranted. Good riddance, you selfish, smug, foolish, denim-vest-wearing nightmare. With any luck, we'll soon forget all about these two, and mansion and cinema will go back to meaning

the places where Nicole Kidman spends most of her time. In other cool Arizona news, Governor Katie Hobbs announced Monday that the state will partner with a nonprofit to cancel $2 billion worth of medical debt held by up to 1 million Arizonans. No Arizonan should have debt hanging over their head because they needed help through no fault of their own. Added Governor Hobbs, you can't both live in Arizona and also have medical debt. You have suffered enough. Added Governor Hobbs, you can't both live in Arizona and also have medical debt. You have suffered enough. Come at me, Arizonans. Turn off your humidifiers and text me angrily.

In New York, Governor Kathy Hochul has dispatched hundreds of National Guard members into the New York City subway system in response to a spate of recent high-profile attacks. And we are getting word that they all got lost trying to switch from the Q to the R at the right stop. Thank God I got Park Slope, said one National Guard member drinking a latte in his Patagonia jacket. Also this week, we learned that Jeff Bezos is once again the world's richest man, having surpassed Elon Musk with a net worth of $200 billion. But is he happy? Elon Musk replied, I'm still the richest because the greatest wealth of all is the priceless bond of family. Then he tossed his latest baby onto the baby pile. When asked how he plans to celebrate, Bezos said he's considering losing his mind and then buying and dismantling a social networking site.

Madame Webb star Dakota Johnson said she's not surprised that the movie hasn't been well received and told Bustle, I probably will never do anything like it again, which is word for word what I said after watching Madame Webb. Okay, I think we can't. Keep going. A German man who allegedly received 217 COVID vaccination doses over the course of 29 months appears to be perfectly healthy, according to a new study. Well, physically healthy. There has to be a psychological cost to being trapped in Fauci's basement like that. And finally, photographers managed to capture images for the very first time of two humpback whales having sex.

And as it happened, both whales were male. Said one of the photographers, they really had a whale of a time sucking and fucking each other. It's a fun story until you think about it from the whale's perspective. This has never been photographed before. They had to assume they were in the clear. Now imagine the conversations they're having with their whale wives. Anyway, the pictures will be made available later this month on OnlyFins. We'll be right back with Ron Funches and Max Silvestri.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. What's a better legacy for a man, a successful podcast, or a brand new human being? Here to answer that age-old question are my next guests, the amazing Max Silvestri and the wonderful Ron Funches. Come on out, gentlemen. Good to see you both. Good to see you, John. Hi. Oh, I'm shaking hands like that. Oh, we're doing shaking hands. We're doing hands, shaking hands. Very cool. I know,

I was holding a can. Oh, that explains it. It's good can oh that explains it it's good to see you both it's great to see you this is my first time out of the house since my son was born very first time first time doing a show yeah really yeah yeah wow that's an honor i got nothing for you for you i would do it wow yeah like that you said it like a man out of prison. You're just like, I don't have social skills. This is my first time out. This chair is too comfortable. Is it cool if I sit on the ground?

That's what I'm going to do. You're both dads? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're a brand new fresh dad. Fresh dad. Yeah, yeah. Now, Ron, your son's nickname is Mr. Hot Nuts.

Yeah. That's true. Walk us through that. Is that not normal? No, I mean, I think it's cool. Thank you. Well, it basically became a story from when he was about 13 years old. He started becoming a bit of a jerk.

And he would just start to rebel. They start to do that about that age, you know, and his way of rebelling would be that he would like to eat his meals with company around, but not wear any pants nor underwear. Neither pants

nor underwear? So just out there, just out and about. Fool Winnie the Pooh. Donald Duck in it. That's cool. On your chairs. Yeah. and so one day he was eating a big old slice of pizza with a bunch of extra sauce on it and my best friend was there and i was like hey will you go put some pants on please and he was like no he's just being rebellious and then he just started to eat his pizza and sauce fell onto his nuts and he just started screaming, hot nuts, daddy.

And I laughed and laughed. So, I have a question. Sure. You know he's being rebellious. Yes. But he doesn't know that. That's not the reason he thinks he's doing it. Why does he think he's doing it?

I think he's just like, why are you interrupting me and my pantsless pizza eating time? Right. If you were me, wouldn't you want to eat pizza without the confines of pants? I do get it.

No, I mean, once you hear the idea, it's like you can't, it's like the iPod. You can't go back. It's like, this is cool and better. Is he unfolding a napkin and putting it down or anything like that? These are chairs that presumably, maybe he rolls his gaming chair out or whatever. And it's kind of like my bed, I'll sleep in it. But if other people are using those chairs, I feel there must be some sort of courtesy. In my culture, Mr. Hot Nuts, I put down a napkin.

Or no? No, no, just bare ass. Straight cheek, it's a chair. So you're burning through chairs. Yeah. But no, he's gotten it together now that way he's on he's actually in the month he's gonna be turning 21 years old wow i know it's wild to have a full grown man and i got a two-year-old as well speaking of nicknames sure your mom presumably she wanted to be called grandma or something of that nature.

Well, what happened is, is like a month before my son was born, my wife asked her, I wasn't around like, Oh, have you thought at all about what you want your grandparent name to be? Cause that like is a thing,

you know, like, and I, I don't know. I grew up just being like, either it's like grandma or maybe it's like Meek Mock or whatever, because a child chooses it is for babies. And she was like, my mom is a very like polite, together, waspy, like quiet woman, like not presumptuous. But she was like, yes, I have thought about my name.

And it's because I visited a cemetery two months ago for a funeral. And I was visiting my father's grave, which I haven't seen in 30 years. And I saw that I had a relative next to his grave that had that I didn't even know about that had the most beautiful name I'd ever seen. Arabella. Isn't that so beautiful? My wife's listening at this point being like, totally.

And so she says, I want my grandmother name to be Nana Bella. So she added syllables to it? There's so many parts of it because also the name she saw was not Annabella, which might get you to a place of like Nana Bella, but it was Arabella. She wants to be Nana Bella. And my wife was just like, oh, yeah. And I guess if the baby can't say all that, he can just say Nana. And she goes, no, Bella.

It means beautiful grandma. Is that about a discomfort with the being called grandma? I think I'm like connecting it now in my mind because I've heard about other parents her age. She's like 70 something, fully white haired that are like trying to be like, call me. Call your like grandfather Zeus. And I want to be like Athena. It's a boomer thing of absolutely being unwilling to accept frailty or irrelevance where it's like, no, actually, I'm like the most beautiful young forever. Grandma, that's what I want my name

to be. I want to be number one family member. When my grandfather was getting up there, he needed a cane, but he didn't want to use a cane because he said it made him look old. And I was like, Grandpa, your face and body

are what make you look old. You're not tricking anybody at the casino. They know that you're old, my friend. Gentlemen, while we have you, we wanted to get your paternal approval

or disapproval for all the recent dad news fit to print in a segment we're calling Cats in the Cradle 2, Tokyo Drift. Oh, look at us. That sucks. I love it. Yeah, I want to watch that movie. Oh, look at us.

That sucks. Yeah, I want to watch that movie. You slide so well. I know. I feel like I should be in the movie. I feel like I'm being kicked into Ted Danson violently. It's not quite. Yeah, this looks like the two of us were inserted into a picture of Ron and Tom Selleck.

Steeply troubling. And by the way, just for those listening at home, my face has been put on the baby. And it also is just a little window into what I would look like if I hadn't gone to Beverly Hills a few times. And then been on vacation for two episodes. You didn't go to Turkey? You have to save a few bucks. I'm not going to Turkey. No, no.

I'm doing this in America. I want someone I can sue. Best money I ever spent. All right. In recent dad news, Garfield, this is the upcoming movie, was apparently kidnapped by his long absent biological father vick voiced by samuel l jackson in the new trailer for the garfield movie this is vick my father welcome back victor listen i need your help get them i haven't seen you for years and when I do, you're on the run from a deranged cat.

Were before this people under the impression that Garfield was John's son? Is that the relationship that we think that that was? Yeah, Garfield was the son and Odie was his child with John. Oh, that's beautiful. This is why Lives of TikTok has to exist. Before we go further on this movie, we have like 100% we have to make sure that Ron's not in it. No, it's safe to make sure. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool.

I will say that. I mean, that actually looks like the plot of my childhood. That's cool. Say more about that. I didn't have a relationship with my dad in and out until I was like 13. And then I went to live with him. And then I was like, oh oh you're also in a weird situation and end up in hanging out you know you're in the best spot where you're hanging

out with guys who have the pins with the naked ladies on them oh yeah that fucking crush with Kendra yeah well you get because you know people you see it but they own it yeah those guys go to those third shift bars or whatever that open at 3 a.m. Like those people that have naked lady pens, they're living a different life. Absolutely. It's cool when you're 13. They're like, oh, I'll never, you know, I know the internet exists, but sometimes I need my lady in pen form. I get to see a naked lady every time I sign a $2 check.

It is strange. on a $2 check. It is strange. It is strange. If an adult has the naked lady pen, it's like they have the relationship to pictures of naked ladies that kids have to have to candy, which eventually you get to that age

and you have that moment where you realize you can have candy anytime you want. I mean, I wish I had the pure enough spirit to have a mechanics relationship to pictures of beautiful women. Sometimes I see one and I'm like, be so nice to just print that out and hang it up on the wall. But I'm obviously not the sort of person that in a workspace, I'm going to be like, look, sometimes we're having a hard day. It's nice to look at a picture of a beautiful naked person. But wouldn't that be simpler if we all just embraced that? Maybe they're right.

Maybe just hot people having little pictures. It's like, why not? My son is about to be 21, and he's at the perfect age where he not only wants to see pictures, but since he doesn't really have access to them, he'll paint drawings of his favorite ladies. He has a picture of Kim Possible above his bed right now. And is she wearing all her Kim Possible clothes? Not the bottom. She's eating pizza.

Oh, so she's at dinner. Yeah. It's a pizza party. Bradley Cooper, in his campaign for that maestro Oscar, discussed his relationship with his daughter on Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert. The first eight months, I'm like, I don't even know if I really love the kid. We don't know her yet. It's dope.

It's cool. I'm watching this thing morph. And then all of a sudden. I love that honesty, by the way. That's my experience. That's a lot of people's, I think, and they're afraid to say that. I mean, my experience was totally that. Fascinated by it.

Love taking care of it. Would I die if someone came in with a gun? It's only a couple of months. I don't know. She just arrived. This rules. I think it's awesome. I think it's awesome he did it in the last week of the campaign.

This thing morphs. It rules. Fascinated by it. Would I take a bullet for it? Maybe. Incredible. Incredible. That's kind of my experience about fatherhood.

I'm unwilling to. Yeah, that's all I know. Your baby's like, how old's your baby? Seven weeks. Oh, so you don't even know it. Oh. I don't know it at all. I'm fascinated by it.

Do you enjoy watching it morph? I mean, I love watching anything morph. That's famously my deal. You big Power Rangers fan. I feel like he might win because of how he landed the plane on that interview a day before voting closed. I think it rules. I think it's awesome. Yeah.

Just for the record, he did say he grew to love his daughter. Just going to make sure we get that in case she listens to the podcast. Little three-act structure on that story he was telling. Wow, what a filmmaker and artist inside. Can I also say I like that the other person was like, finally, somebody's saying we all hate our babies. No, I think it's cool that someone had his back in that moment that's good that's good co-hosting honestly yeah that that you you just want to just say i would have left you out to die on that one i might tell me more about how you didn't love your daughter but even as he was doing that in one interview here's what he was saying in another

uh this is when he cried uh to leonard bernstein's children about missing their father But even as he was doing that in one interview, here's what he was saying in another. This is when he cried to Leonard Bernstein's children about missing their father. Do you miss him? Oh, yeah, man. What do you miss about him? It's hard to talk about. Gentlemen, this is important. Bradley Cooper has never met Leonard Bernstein.

He had never met him. He died in 1990. He has whoever met his daughter, Leah. The point is, would you like Bradley Cooper to cry about missing you after you die if you've never met him? I think yes. Well, it is at this point that I truly realize that I had no idea who Bradley Cooper is. Because I was like, I don't know who this Cooper is. Because I was like, I don't know who this man is they're talking about.

And then I was like, oh, that's, oh, well, Lady Gaga. Yeah, Rocket Raccoon. Yeah. Oh, that's who he is? Yeah. Okay. All right. It's okay if he don't love his daughter then.

alright. It's okay if he don't love his daughter then. He came to love his daughter. Gay dad to be Colton Underwood set of meeting. Great segue. Set of meeting his egg donor over Zoom. It's like extreme Tinder. Did he do his shirt loose like that? He said it's like extreme Tinder.

Should Tinder offer this tier? If not, why not? This really feels out of my wheelhouse to talk about. No, no, no. You can. I don't know what... Sure. If he wants it to be, I don't know.

What has taken place? If he wants it to be, I don't know. What is taking place? I feel like what's taking place is a misuse of hyphens. Gay dad-to-be can really be read a couple different ways. Like, you could... Wow. Yeah, how many ways?

What are some of the ways? I'm a dad. I could be a gay dad-to-be if I were to come out later. I just mean it implies that he's gay could be a gay dad-to-be if I were to come out later. I just mean it implies he's gay and he's a dad-to-be or he's a dad and he's gay-to-be. There's a lot of ways. People have been telling me I'm a gay dad-to-be for 15 years. Loot season two. I love that idea.

Remember when Loot was shooting season two, I believe, in the office building where I record podcasts. And you were sitting with Joel Kimbooster in chairs, as one does. And you were sitting side by side. And I said hello to Joel. And I said hello to you. And then maybe I DM'd him. And I said, I think Ron had no fucking idea who i was and he said that's correct yeah that's probably true i mean i try to it's um but you said but you you tried

to fake it yeah of course i try to be nice at all times um but i only tend to know about people in positions that i meet them. So if I saw you on stage here, I would be like, oh, I know who that is. But if I see you out in the regular world, I'm like, I don't know who that could be. That could be a lot of different white guys, you know? No, I understood. And it's a thing that I'm practicing just as a belief that, like, there's just so much belief that i'm supposed to remember every white person i meet and i choose to reject that theory and try to not remember any of them i hate that that's the truth

maybe it was just his loot character that didn't know who you were because you go fully deep. The whole season, you're basically never break, right? All the time, yeah. Yeah, you're like Daniel Day-Lewis-ing it. Yeah, well...

Making shoes and stuff. I always play... Yeah, anytime. I'm always in character. I just don't let them do anything that's not me. Max, this is your first time leaving the house. I left the house to do small errands, but this

is my first time being in front of the audience. My man been locked up for seven weeks. I did a seven-week bid. In the playpen. It's great to see you, bro. For seven weeks, I've seen the world through the bars of a snoo.

I don't know, a crib, whatever. Snoo ain't got no bars. Don't lie to the people. Go with it. All right. Well, they'll be back later for hot takes. When we come back, we have some hot tops.

Wait, what? With Marcella and Kid Fury. And we're back. Our next guests have their fingers on the pulse. Here to tell us if we're all still alive, please welcome to the stage the incredible Kid Fury and the hilarious Marcella Arguello. Hi.

Come on out. Welcome to you both. Thank you so much. Should I sit like this? Sit however you want. Thank you. Wow, I just, okay. Something about this black doll behind you so much. Should I sit like this? Sit however you want. Thank you. Wow. I just, okay. Something about this black doll behind you just caught.

Oh. Is that Michelle? It's 100% Michelle Obama. Oh, wow. It's from Forrest Whitaker's ex-wife's estate sale. It's from Forrest. And just for those that couldn't hear that, Kendra says that it's from For forest whitaker's ex-wife's estate

sale which by the way is like one of the you're sorry you brought it up yeah why i don't know i feel like i just transported myself into a weird place but it was it became it was just a pretty black doll and it became michelle obama and then forest whitaker the way, in terms of short stories, Forrest Whitaker's ex-wife's estate sale is a six-word tragedy. Right? Now, all right. Kid Fury, I'll start with you. Oh, please don't.

No, I'm kidding. Go ahead. All right. So you have been dedicated to the study of pop culture, to the enjoyment of pop culture. Sure enjoyment of pop culture sure okay uh to doing deep dives on the read and i like i feel like right now like i don't even know where to go to find out what pop culture is because they put a subscription block on the cut and Twitter is terrible.

It's basically just TikTok for me now. Right. You know, I don't really know where to go either, to be honest with you. I mostly search the same hashtags and rely on my funny friends on Twitter. And just like really ratchet blogs. You do like a deep dive is where you can find some of the fun stuff. But I'm mostly just regurgitating stuff I'm seeing on my timeline, I guess. But you're not missing much. Oh, thank goodness.

Because I'm 41. And if you think you don't give a fuck now, oh boy. You don't even know. That sounds gorgeous, actually. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Nice shoes.

Thanks. Do you find that you can keep up with pop culture or do you just not give a fuck? I do, but that's because I'm unemployed. So I do the same thing where it's like you just bounce around all the socials. You just sit there fucking lounging. Fucking Beyonce. Crazy hairdo. biden crazy hairdo and then i'm and then i'm up to date yeah that's it it's pretty tight it's also like i feel like um being a fan of something used to take it was harder and took more effort even in

the early internet it was harder and took more effort. Even in the early internet, it was harder and took more effort. You had to go and track something down. And now there's such a flattening, like something becomes, some niche very quickly becomes a style or a take or a vibe. And then that spreads, it gets bounced in front of enough people. And then it's like, it's things come and go incredibly quickly. They don't, because it took no work, because it takes no effort to find it and adopt it. You don't care when it's gone. So like, there's no cognitive dissonance. Like it used to be, if you got into

records or you got into a certain band, like the work you did to find the music or understand it became a symbol to you that you cared about it enough to invest more time in it because that was because the time you invested had to mean you loved it enough to keep loving it. And now like people, it's like when someone, when someone says like, Oh my God, I'm a,

I'm such a nerd. I'm obsessed with star Wars. Like, are you, are you obsessed? Are you obsessed? Wait, can I just acknowledge that beautiful hipster monologue you just gave?

I was like, damn. Thank you. Yeah, that was really poetic. Can you explain why your eyes went up to my hair and back down like twice during what you said? Like you were searching for something else. I have curly hair. I'm always looking at everyone's curls, okay? wasn't disrespectful and how are we doing it's curly it's a true fact it is it is and it's so you and it's so so me now on the read

you have a pot you have a segment called Hot Tops, which you highlight the hot topics of the week. I feel like I'm starved for news that isn't about one of our two ancient grandpas slowly battling it out for the fate of the nation over the next seven months, which is why we're going to discuss some news we think people should be talking about in a segment we're calling

Hot Top Shortage. It's a real thing. It's my life right there. Truer words. Yeah, Biden didn't mention the hot top shortage in the State of the Union tonight. I mean, he wouldn't. Honestly. Necromancy.

We need better necromancers, frankly. Yeah, for sure. Sometimes I play video games as a necromancer. Oh, do you? Yeah. You can reanimate some of the people you kill. That's cool. And then they'll fight with you.

Yeah, that's cool. All right. I feel like I'm on a date. Yeah, great. all right i feel like i'm on a date yeah great that's don't remember asking cool check please i still fuck on the first date it's not gonna stop as a gamer like I could have totally supported you, but I felt like the pessimist

or whatever evil part of me was like, I want to see how this is going to unfold. Damn. I want to see what's going to happen. I usually choose mage, so I couldn't even

really help you out. You like to hang back. You like to fire from afar. Magic. Yeah. See, I prefer, I'm more of,

I play more like a barbarian. I like to be beefy. I like to get up close. Now you guys are on a date. Well, there's a hot top shortage. There really is. Yeah, do what you can. The picture is still here.

Okay, go ahead. It's not going anywhere. I'm just glad they didn't put my face over that thing. They should have. They usually do, don't they? All right. First hot top. The Justice Department charged

63-year-old Air Force employee David Franklin Slater with sharing classified information with someone who claimed to be a woman living in Ukraine on a foreign dating website. Slater attended classified briefings on the war in Ukraine for a few months shortly after the war began and relayed that information to his putative love interest. Embarrassingly enough,

it's embarrassing enough to begin with, but let me read some of the message that got this guy so worked up. He had to share secret Pentagon information. My sweet Dave, thanks for the valuable information. It's great that two officials from the USA are going to Kiev. Oh, my God. Beloved Dave, do NATO and Biden have a secret plan to help us? What?

Dave, it's great that you get information about specified country number one. I hope you will tell me right away. You are my secret agent. With love. He was like reading this like, oh my god. Oh, yes. By the way, you were the first to tell me

that NATO members are traveling by train and only now this was announced on our news. You are my secret informant, loveant love hey have you ever been catfished marcella no i've done catfishing it's fun but um that's wild yeah shocking my sweet dave just sounds like a liar what in the fucking Romeo and Juliet my sweet no who says that imagine being such a loser that you fall for that that's sad it is sad

it is sad like virgins fall for that shit he's 60 he's 63 yeah that's elderly abuse yeah he must have been so lonely and then like Dave it would be. Sweet Dave. Not even sweet David.

It's so, it's like, it's really bot adjacent too. Like whether it's a foreign agent or a bot, it just, it's so clearly not real. My sweet Dave. Thanks for valuable information. It's great that two officials from this USA are going to Kiev

I'm doing jerking off motions for those living at home also this week I don't know they asked me to do comedy on here so I just gotta take a bite where I can find it

yeah I don't even know how to do it big duck Beyonce revealed in an interview this week when I'm not dressed for an appearance and I'm training or hustling

my go-to outfit is a black hoodie and black sweatpants I enjoy consciously wearing the same black hoodie on a good day I can sneak into Target unnoticed

can you imagine imagine you're just like, who is that bleached, blonde, beautiful black woman under that black hoodie? Nah. That ain't her. It's me. It's me, Beyonce.

I'm shopping at Target. It's unbelievable. It's incredible. It's a blessing for me to be at Target. It's unbelievable. It's incredible. Uncanny. It's a blessing for me to be at Target. Renaissance live. Thank you so much. I'm going to do

the self-checkout. Thank you so much. That's a wild place to run into somebody that famous. That's crazy. Yeah. But you know,

Blue makes her go in there i want to buy a toy that's like kids love going to buy toys at target yeah there's also something so homey about like i feel like if i were someone who everyone could recognize i would still want target they're all the fucking same yes you know you walk in you take a right alcohol so it's like you don't really it why would you everyone wants that you think she uses a red card and gets five percent or point five percent you know she does puts in her puts in her puts in her phone number maybe you met beyonce recently didn't you i did just about two weeks ago i wasn't gonna bring it up because you know why gloat well but now that you now that you humbly didn't bring it up and let it come to you

tell us how it came to pass and what it was like uh decades of obsessing um openly obsessing over this individual person and her talents and speaking about it incessantly like a psychopath. So I think that this just, it finally became a situation where I think she was like, please bring this butch queen to meet me. You know, I feel like doing something nice. I really don't know what was going through the team's mind, but they invited myself and my friend to meet her, and it was great. Did you think about what you were going to say beforehand?

You know, I think you do that when it's like, oh, the person I admire so much, I'm going to say this. And then you meet them, and, you know, your mouth betrays you. And you forget language and phonetics. And so I just defaulted to tears. I cried immensely and, you know, she was gracious enough to not throw me out. But I don't think that is your mouth betraying you. That's what it felt like.

It was like, you know, you're meeting Beyonce, say at best hello. You know, and my mouth was like. Right. I think she gets it. I'm sure it's been worse. Right. But I'm more thinking just that like that whatever emotional response you were having was the truest one. Yes.

Right. And there's gotta be some sort of beauty in that is what I tried to tell myself. That's right. I went home crying. Yeah. Have you ever met Beyonce? Just want to look in the mirror.

Thank you so much. That's fucking great. Right before I get on stage, I meet her. I love Beyonce. Fuck, I'm so jealous. Do you? Yes. I started from...

From the beginning. Okay, yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no. Okay, valid. That's when, no. It was the beginning. No, no, no. Okay, valid. That's when I started. I was like, who is she? I was like 12 years old.

Who is that? Yeah, it was me and my two female cousins watching the Destiny's Child video and me demanding. It was first, the one that always comes to mind is Bills, Bills, Bills. Okay. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm the lead singer in this group. You all can catch the harmonies. If you can keep up, please don't disgust me. And then we would perform it for the family and no one knew I was gay.

What about you? How old were you when you got into Beyonce, white boy? Everybody knew I was gay. They're like, listen to Beyonce. So yeah, meet Beyonce. I recommend it. It's great. And if there's one thing you take away from the show tonight,

if you can put yourself in a position to meet Beyonce. Do it. Do it. Do it. It's pretty great. You can catch Marcella's special Grow Up Bitch on Max. Bitch, grow up. Get it right or pay the price.

And listen to Kid Fury every week on The Read. It's an awesome podcast. Plus, grab tickets to your Life Is Better comedy tour. Yeah. We come back. We bring this simmer to a boil.

It's time for some hot takes. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way and we're back before we get to hot takes we have an exciting pre-announcement announcement we are announcing love it or leave its tour dates in just a few days pre-sale tickets will only be available for friends of the Pod subscribers starting on Tuesday. So you got to go to crooked.com slash friends to sign up.

You're hearing this on Saturday. By the time we get to next Saturday, the general sale will have begun. So between Tuesday and Friday, that's when the presale is. And you go to crooked.com slash friends to sign up. You're like a little action figure. There's something very toy-like about you. About me? Yeah.

I find that to be a compliment. I mean it as that. You think there should be, I'm like an action figure, or there should be an action figure? Whichever one makes you feel better. And now for a segment we call Hot Takes. Here's how it works. We'll each have 30 seconds to defend an absolutely horrible opinion

as if it were actually our own. We get one skip but beware what you skip to may actually be worse let's see what we've got who's up first it is me panda express is superior to all other forms of chinese food i'll take that it's It's simply true. Panda Express is superior to all forms of other forms of Chinese food. Is it superior in terms of quality? No. Is it superior in terms of taste? No. Is it superior in terms of health? No. But here is the one way it's superior. It is the only Chinese food that arise before you think to order it. You say to yourself, I would like Panda Express. It's in your home. It's there that quickly. I don't even know how

it's possible. It's like there's people waiting, waiting just for the, just like, we think John may order. Let's just make what he usually gets in the event that he orders. And they're rarely wrong. Thank you. I feel like they should be allowed to boo.

They are allowed to boo. I'm saying, like, they need to be told that. What is it about my personality that makes everyone, everyone everywhere always thinks, oh, he needs to be cut down to size? It's just a toy in you. I just like... Remember when Buzz Lightyear

came and it was just like Woody had this stank attitude because he was like... I'm done. I'm sorry. Am I Buzz? Or am I Woody? Which one am I? What? What, Ron? Don't talk to Ron like that, bitch.

Oh. Who are you? Let's see what's up next. Stand-up is a dead art form, Max. What an easy thing to defend. I'd like to donate 20 seconds of my time to a charity of John's choice. I feel like stand up has been dead for a while.

And if it's meant to be a pithy way to express your opinions, now people just do it through what this is live podcasts. Comedy clubs are dead. They are event spaces that for many decades were organized neatly around comedians that had been on broadcast or cable television that no longer works. And now you need to have a platform that can be conversational.

It doesn't have to be. The idea of organizing stuff around one hour is completely dead. But podcasts are growing, and I'm happy for you. Hell yeah. You guys, check out my podcast called Comedy is Dead streaming on YouTube. That's a very real thing that I just started. Because I agree with this.

This one hurt, but I did it. Let's see what's next. Marcella, you're up. I don't like that this gives me personality. Want to skip? Sorry you couldn't hack it, losers. Yeah, I'm going to skip. I'm going to have some balls.

All right, let's see what's next. Partners who coordinate their outfits and enjoy couples' costumes on Halloween are gross. We get it. You're together. Oh. Fuck, we were just talking about this. Yeah, she loves doing this.

I do. There are drones in here? You know, I... Okay. Look. I don't want to do this game. I like rubbing it in people's faces. We're in love.

And we look like Olive and Popeye and Olive Oil and Popeye. And I think it's hilarious. I don't care. I don't care. I don't want to do this. Okay, that's an energy to bring to it, I suppose. You got booed!

You got booed. Boo, Marcella. Boo this woman! Yeah, that's right. Let's see what's next. Oh, that gives me life. Yeah, she feeds off your boos. Kid Fury, nothing about Miami can ever begin to measure up to Los Angeles or New York.

This is super easy. Okay. begin to measure up to Los Angeles or New York? This is super easy. Okay. So nothing about Miami can ever begin to measure up to Los Angeles or New York because there's just way, way, way, way more to do in both of these cities and ability to build yourself up and learn a lot more about yourself. Miami's great to buy, sell, and transport drugs.

Great for sex work, which I support. And that's about it. Now, if you're a black Floridian, then you know a lot of the magic that exists there. black Floridian, then you know a lot of the magic that exists there. But in comparing it to these other places, I would never, ever go back to Miami unless it was for a funeral or maybe like, you know, I lost some money. Okay. Yeah, you got one boo. Let's see who's up next.

Professional wrestling is the last fashion of the fool. Oof. Yeah. I mean is the last fashion of the fool. Oof. Yeah. I mean, that sounds good in a way. Yeah. I don't understand it, so if I hope. Yeah. I mean, you want me to tell you.

So, but you guys, so people who like wrestling. I mean, I knew this was what you were going to give me. Easy money. Of course, I love wrestling, but it's easy for you to hate it. I get it. It's predetermined. You're like, why is it happening? I don't enjoy pleasantries and fireworks and feather boas.

I like regular, normal things. When people fight, I want them to hurt each other because apparently I'm a savage that enjoys other people's pain I will say that most professional wrestling fans are usually never nourished they are either mal or over.

Those are the other options, right? Yeah, mal or over for sure. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of overnourished. I mean, it is the most, it is certainly, because I go to a lot of different sporting events, but the disparity between the people doing the event and watching the event is the biggest at Pro Wrestling. They seem like if they got in the ring, they would die easily.

So, yeah, I get why people don't like it, but they're, you know know they're not right but sure nice all right let's see what's next Marianne Williamson has the strongest platform in the Democratic Party all right let's skip as long as it's cleaned up within 10 minutes of happening it's fine and normal when a dog pees in the office I'll take this one. 10 minutes? As long as it's cleaned up within 10 minutes.

Well, because, you know, someone doesn't see it. I don't know when it happens. That's the 10-minute rule. As long as it's cleaned up within 10 minutes of it happening, it's fine and normal when a dog pee's in the office. Here's the thing. We don't just have a dog at the office. We don't have two dogs at the office.

We have a non-countable number of dogs at the office. On any given day, there are dogs everywhere. And this is great. An office with dogs is great. Now, are we a place where multiple podcasts are being recorded virtually all the time and dogs are constantly barking as people come in and out of this large office yes does that lead to a certain amount of tension no but yes that means occasionally there'll be a little puddle somewhere i mean again this is

what and i love dogs because i know if i don't say this, then people will turn against me. But I will say that you guys are some of the most entitled and believe that you can do whatever you want because what if me and Max just brought babies to every fucking work event and was like, yeah, my baby took a shit on your floor. I'll get to it within 10 minutes. That is a good point. And no one is saying that's not a good point.

I'm not saying it's good to leave the pee 10 minutes. The second I hear that there's pee, I'm on it. Also, Crooked is famously a shoes-off socks-on author. No, it is not. There's a lot of just squelching and toes. Bomba socks. That's not true.

Save that shit for the young Turks. I don't know if they do that. I don't know if they do that there. Let's see what's next. 40 is basically the end. I'm dying.

Truly, 40 is basically the end. I'm dying. Truly, 40 is basically the end. There's almost no reason to keep living past 40 unless you're amassing wealth for a mother or children. There's no joy to be had that's new post-40. There's no joy to be had that's new post 40. There's no insights to be gleaned that are not sort of like dripping in all the exhausting, like I'm old and decaying and I only care about money and mortgages 40. I think as a creative, as a sensitive person, as an activist, as anyone that wants to do anything important is fully the expiration date. Jesus. If you haven't

had a good idea that you can then capitalize on post-40, you should just quit everything because you're not going to have a new one after. Clip it. Not a fan of Grandma Moses' work, I suppose.

Tough hit on Grandma Moses. Grandma Moses raised a family, began painting in her, I believe, late 70s. Late 70s. I love all the booing. Thanks, guys. Yeah. I like it, too. Let's see what else we've got.

The perfect and most feminine height is five foot six. Hey, my boo thing is five foot seven. So I agree with this. And he's pansexual and non-binary. So I fully agree with this. You're right here. And he's staying my pussy. That's a perfect height

for eating pussy at five foot six. For me, I'm six two. Yeah, he's five seven. I'm six two. When we're 69, it looks like a six and a nine in two different fonts.

Who's a six? Who's a nine? Depends on the font, bitch. Wingdings. I agree with this i agree with this i'm a masculine bitch you're a feminine bitch it's perfect i like it yeah we are in love i actually do agree with this if you yeah i'm just thinking that like who the fuck wants to boo me

beat your ass what came to mind is like superscript. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's your... You know what I'm saying? Is that your five foot six feminine height font? Yeah. I don't know whether the six or the nine. I guess it would be the nine is smaller and higher up.

You know? If you try it that way. You nasty. Think you know about me like that do you think oh here we go circle part of the nine is the head or do you think it's the genitals because that's really what the superscript thing gets to right you think the hook of the six and the nine is the penis that's what i was realizing i realizing because actually no i think that's the that's such an important point.

Yes. Yeah. Because I, because I'm realizing what I just said would imply that the genitals. I don't know. Continue.

Talk us through it. Let's go. I think, I think that, show your work. I think that, well, I think it's, because I think that well I think it's

because I think that that's head the circle is the head which doesn't work that it doesn't work on nine or six it's on the both they're not both the same

they're two different numbers but that but they're yes but they're a head but the but the circle bit is the

is the skull portion of the of the body and the the you know what I'm saying the curvature is the skull portion of the body. And the... You know what I'm saying? The curvature is the body. I disagree. You disagree. On the nine, the nine the circle is the head and then it's

got the little body. But on the six... No, but like 69 is basically saying that in the six the head is at the bottom and the hook of it is the penis and then the nine is... This is why the hook of it is the penis. And then the nine is- This is why comedy is dead. Okay, okay, okay.

Actually, I think that this is important. And I know that this is also a show about reelecting Joe Biden. But today, today it's also a show where you need to, if you're listening to this, you need to draw the number 69 and then you need to tell us how you imagine that represents people. When you picture, when you think 69, and again, my mother listens every Saturday morning.

What, where, what is it? Because I don't even think I agree with you. I don't agree with you. I don't think the thing coming out is the penis. I think that's the whole person. Right? Yes. Okay, fair.

No, this is me learning. This is what we want our system to be. That's right. Having conversations with people. Give it up to Max. He really tried. He listened. I can't believe I met Beyonce two weeks ago.

And then... That's life. This is already better. What if you met Beyonce, died, and now you're stuck here? And you've been doing this over and over and over again ever since. That would be fun.

What do you think the 69 represents? I don't. I remember when I first learned what it was. I think I was in like seventh grade in math and 69 somehow came up on the board and the kids went, hmm. And my teacher was like, do you kids think that you made this shit up?

What's so funny? God bless her. I mean, I was like 24 before I realized think that you made this shit up? What's so funny? God bless her. I mean, I was like 24 before I realized you could do it lying down. I truly thought it was exclusively... You can? What? Wait, what?

We're not all the same bitch? You're like, I gotta go work out for this a lot of core stuff I too am 5'6 I have gay sex I don't know if this is anything to do with me that is so funny let's keep going let's see what's next oh Kid Fury the Nintendo Switch is the worst game console ever made

wow okay was next oh kid fury the nintendo switch is the worst game console ever made okay um yeah man the nintendo switch fucking sucks it's uh who the fuck wants to take video games on the road with them every anywhere that they go and have that kind of convenience it creates problems you know like you should be able to you should just play games at home a sensible 45 minutes in good lighting um before 7 p.m and i think that taking amazing uh experiences like legend of Zelda on a plane or a bus or to your in-law's house for Thanksgiving? Why do that? Why do that?

You're really aiding addiction. Yeah, I would say the only downside to me of the Nintendo Switch being mobile is the moment when you take it out on a plane and you're a 40-year-old man and then the person next to you takes out a book and it's like i know i shouldn't care yeah but you think you're fucking better than me to go back to 69s for one second i didn't mean standing up.

What did you mean? What I meant is learning you didn't have to do it as a vertical stack. Okay, hold on. Someone just went, what? Like further more confused. I wanted to go along with it. It's funny to flip, but what I meant was I thought it was exclusively a double cheeseburger situation. Right, right, right, right. No, I see what you're saying. You weren't saying that you

did, you were not referring to the Z axis. No, I'm sorry. You were rotating around the X axis. One on their back, one on top. When I learned that you could both be on your side was a breakthrough. We can go back to Nintendo Switch. I just feel like if we're recording this, I wanted to lock it in. Right, for sure. No, and I'm glad

you did. Let's make sure for the record that that's amended in the archives. We don't want that to go down without having been noted. If we can put a little asterisk earlier in the transcript just so people know to go further down, lest they stop reading there.

Let's see what's next. Weed is over. Ron, weed is over? I couldn't do this one. You can skip. I mean, it seems more fun to try.

It's weird to do this while being currently high. Put a vape in my hand. You came to show everybody how not to use it? Yeah, exactly. This is how not to use it. For those listening at home, he just took a hit of his vape pen. Not in the weed, man. Hard drugs are back.

That's actually true. Why would you want to do a drug where you stay alive and just enjoy your life and keep a sense of whimsy? I say just be angry and you know

when you're stressed drink. That's helpful. Classic too. Yeah it's old school. All American. Yeah. Yeah.

So we over. Don't smoke it. In fact just if you have some just put it in my mailbox. I'll dispose of it. And that's how it takes. When we come back, we'll end on a high note. When we come back, we'll end on a high note.

And we're back. Here it is, the high note. Hey, love it. My high note for the week is that I recently reconnected with a friend. He was actually the one that got me into your podcast a few years ago. I found out that he submitted and defended his dissertation. And while he might be quiet about it, I am extremely proud of him. Thank you for the work that you and your team are doing and have a wonderful week. Hi, I love it. This is Erica in North Carolina. And my high note is that my longtime voice student, who I've been working with since 2018 and is turning 18 this week, voted in the North Carolina primary today. And I am just so proud of who I've seen them become over my time working with them and that they're getting involved in the cause right away. Just really warmed my heart. Thanks everybody. Send it a high note tonight. If you want to send

us a message, send a voice memo to lowlyhighnotes at gmail.com or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, you can send it to us through the discord. That is our show. Thank you so much to Marcela, Arguello, Ron Funches, Max Sylvester, and Kid Fury. This is so fun. There are 240 days until the 2024 elections. Have a great night, everybody, and have a great weekend. Woo! Thank you. and other exclusive content. And if you're as opinionated as we are, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join our

Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and a great discussion on Discord. Plus, it's a great way to get involved with Vote Save America, so sign up today at crooked.com slash friends. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me,

John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, and Chris Lord is our producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, Thank you. Thanks to our designer, Bernard Arcerna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, Zuri Ervin, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can. Love it or leave it. It's love it or leave it.