Lovett or Leave It - Storming the Beaches

Episode Date: May 2, 2020

Ed Helms is back and we quiz him on Trump's briefings by the numbers. Olivia Nuzzi joins to discuss covering the coronavirus response. We test listeners on their disaster preparedness. And we try out jokes on unsuspecting strangers which was very exciting and went GREAT. We're still in the closet and we're making the best of it. What a week.

Now here's a little story about a dude named John. Smart Jewish boy, gay as the day is long. Then one day the coronavirus came and into the closet John safely made a way. He did, he did. Vomit nosed. Exit stage left. Now the next thing you know, John ain't sure what to do. Friends of the pod said, John, we still need you.

They said the couch was rolling as the place you ought to be. So we loaded up on Cheetos and he moved to Zoom Tele. Conferencing, that is. Online games. Mid-level TV stars. The Corona Closeteer. Welcome to the eighth episode of Love It or Leave It, back in the closet. That wild intro song is by Logan Bazar,

Bazar in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Logan, I don't know how to say your name, but you're very good and very talented. Thank you. We want to use a new one each week. If you want to make one, send it to hey at cricket.com and maybe we'll use yours and tweet it at me. They have been so amazing.

Later in the show, we'll be joined by Ed Helms, reporter Olivia Nutsy, and you, our beautiful listeners. But first, we love doing the monologue for comedian judges and for fans of the show. We did it for Portland. We did it for Seattle. We'll do it again. But I also think this is art, all right? And it needs to be shared with the masses. So this week, we are going to try a new experiment. We are going to tell jokes via the website called Omegle or Omegle. We don't know. Omegle is like chat roulette with less regulation. Travis assures me it's mostly men taking out their penises, but it's also got some problems. Here's how it works. On Omegle, I press a button and immediately I'm connected to a video chat

with a stranger. I will then tell that stranger a joke and see what they think. This may be a huge disaster, but this is a podcast and the stakes remain incredibly low. So let's get into it. What a week. What's up? Hey, do you mind if I tell you a joke? Yeah, go on. Here we go. You ready? Yeah. Earlier this week, the United States government released footage of three different UFO sightings by the Navy. You know the government is falling apart when they're like, fuck it, show them the aliens. I get it. I get it, but I ain't laughing. No, I can tell.

I can tell you're not laughing. Here, I'm going to do a follow-up. This is a tag to the joke. Are you ready? All right, cool. I'll listen. I miss the old days when we had a government that can competently engage in the cover-up. Remember the X-Files? This is like if the Smoking Man had a podcast.

Okay. Sorry, bro. So good to meet you. Bye. And you. Yeah. Hey, do you mind if I tell you a joke about politics? Go for it.

All right. Here we go. On Sunday, Stephen Sondheim's 90th birthday was commemorated with a live-streamed event on Broadway.com. Sondheim, of course birthday was commemorated with a live streamed event on Broadway.com. Sondheim, of course, is most celebrated for having not written Cats. Was that the joke? I'm pretty sure it was. It didn't work for you. Was you lagging the joke?

No. No, there was a joke in there. Hey, how's it going? Hey, you a comedian? Something like that. Do you mind if I tell you a joke? Yeah, let's go. Here we go. It has now officially been one year since Avengers Endgame premiered in theaters, surpassing Avatar and clinching the highest ever grossing opening weekend box office.

Which reminds me, it's time to once again point out that we have three more Avatar sequels coming. Three of them. Are you excited? There's no joke. Are you excited for Avatar sequels coming. Three of them. Are you excited? There's no joke. Are you excited for Avatar sequels? No, really. Did you remember that they have spent over a billion dollars making more Avatar movies for the past 10 years? I did not know that, no. Have you heard of Quibi? No. Okay. I'll do one more for you. And if you, you can do one more joke for me. Ready? All right. Good. All right. Rumors have been circulating about the health of North Korean leader Kim Jong-un ranging from reports that he's dead to reports that he's on vacation.

Fucking drama queen. All right. All right. All right. This is a plain and simple word. All right. But silly but funny. Okay. Why'd the crab go to jail? Why'd the crab go to jail? Because it kept pinching things. Oh my God. Wow. Wow. Thank you so much. Wow. That was so, that was, that was fantastic. I'm going to go, I got to go. I got to go think about that joke. Hey, how's it going? Hi. Do you mind if I tell you a joke?

Sure. All right. Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah. In Los Angeles, Harrison Ford is under investigation for crossing a runway with his plane while another plane was landing. This follows Ford crashing a helicopter in 1999 and a plane in 2015. Sounds like we found one senior who definitely isn't going to die from coronavirus. That's not nice. I'll laugh. It's not nice. It's not nice. It's not nice.

You want to hear one more joke? Sure. Actually, you know what? You did great. You did great. Goodbye. I can't tell this Pence joke to that person. I cannot do it.

I cannot do it. Hello. What's up, friend? Can I tell you a joke and record it for my podcast? Can you tell me what the podcast is about first? It's about politics. Yeah, why not? I love it. Why not? Yeah. All right, here we go. In a visit to the Mayo Clinic, Vice President Mike Pence appeared to be the only person who wasn't wearing any kind of mask, a violation of both the hospital's policy and the federal government's guidelines. Pence said he opted out of a mask so that when speaking to healthcare workers, he could, quote, look them in the eye and say,

thank you. Masks, of course, don't cover your eyes, but it's an honest mistake for Mike Pence because the only kind of mask he wears covers his eyes and ears and mouth with a gag and is held together with a leather strap that connects to a lead karen pence uses to guide him around the naval observatory on his hands and knees searching for the key while playing old andrew sisters records the safe word is mandy patinkin and there is no key that's a fun thing he wears a kit mask i don't think that's a final take because you fucked up. You messed up. But I like the joke.

It's a good joke. I like the joke. I feel like your honest reaction gets over the hump of the fact that I fucked it up when I told it. So maybe that's okay. Of course. I give you full rights, man. Fuck it. Cheers to you. Cheers to you. Boom. Have a good one. Love that guy. Hey,

how's it going? Hi. What's up? Can I tell you a joke? Sure. All right. Did you say no? Did somebody back there say no? They are irrelevant. It's okay, man. It's okay. Go for it. Go for it. Go for it. All right, here we go. Here we go. How are you guys doing? Fine. What are you guys doing over there? Chilling. All right, here we go.

On Thursday, the White House announced that federal social distancing guidelines would not be renewed at the end of the week against the wishes of health officials everywhere. It's seen as a huge boon for business, specifically the coffin industry. Did that do anything for you? Portugal. You're in Portugal? Yes, we are from Portugal. Yeah, but you know that Trump sucks in Portugal. Yeah, we fucking hate Trump. That's a fact. How are you doing in Portugal?

Fine. Just chilling, smoking weed. Cool. Are you stuck at home? Kind of. Between this place and home. Okay, cool. Well, it was great meeting you guys oh hey we already saw you yeah we already saw you sorry i know i'm gonna make your podcast

boring dudes no it's fine you want to hear one more joke yeah go on go on i feel like these flying over my head no no, no. Do not blame yourself if you don't laugh. OK, you really need to blame me. All right. On Tuesday, President Trump signed an executive order invoking the Defense Production Act to declare meat processing plants essential infrastructure, meaning they have to stay open and workers will be expected to show up despite risks to their health. Some other products Trump is expected to deem essential, golf clubs with names like Big Bertha, shoe inserts that give you an extra inch of height,

Tiffany's vocal coach, and everyone involved in producing The Masked Singer. I get it. You know what? Every time I see you, all right, you're my harshest critic, but that's what I need. I need somebody who tells me the truth. All right.

Hey, mate. Hey, how's it going? What's up? Do you mind if I record a podcast while telling you a joke? You know what's funny? I'm also recording a video as well. So go for it. All right, let's go.

Here we go. Here's the joke. We learned social distancing guidelines would be prematurely lifted by Trump so he could shift blame to governors. But while he was doing that, armed protesters were storming the Michigan State House, angry that their governor, Gretchen Whitmer, is following the direction of health experts. When reached for comment, the coronavirus said, come on, fellas, give me a challenge here. All right. I started in a bat. Look at me now. Make me work for it. That was pretty good. Holy shit. I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not American, so

I barely understood any of that political side of the joke. But that was amazing. Where are you? What part of the world are you in? I'm in Australia. I'm in Australia. Queensland. Southern hemisphere.

Sweet. All right. You want to hear another joke? Yeah, lay it on me. Let's go. Let's lay it on me. This week, we learned a lot of terrible statistics about the coronavirus. A million Americans have the virus.

The number of died surpassed the number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War. 30 million unemployment claims. But that didn't stop White House advisor Jared Kushner from declaring the White House efforts a complete success. Hey, man, you can't just fail completely and then pretend you're a success and hope no one notices. This is in Harvard. We have standards. That was pretty good. What's your name? You're great. You're a great laugh. Hey, my name is Sushi. Sushi? Yeah, I'm a very shitty YouTuber. I'm just between you and me and the podcast, all right? No one can say this, right? Podcast. You can't let this, you know, I can't let anyone's notes between all of this.

All right. I just reached 2000 fans. It took me a year to reach 2000 fans. You know, that's quite remarkable for someone who's not very funny. Um, like me. Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, you don't put yourself. If you don't fight for you, no one's going to fight for you. All right. You don't put yourself down. If you want to be a YouTuber, you've got to be your own YouTuber. You've got to click like on yourself. You've got to smash that subscribe button on Sushi, you know? You're right. You're absolutely right.

What have I been doing? What have I been doing all this time? You know what? From today onwards, I'm being my own YouTuber, man. I'm going to like all of my own videos. I'm going to subscribe to myself. Did you do a line of coke before joining on this? What's going on?

All right. No, sorry. I'm a genuinely hyper person, my guy. Do you want to hear one more joke? Yeah, sure. Lay it on me, man. Results from a major clinical trial of an experimental antiviral drug called remdesivir, which I believe was named after a Pokemon, has shown some positive

results in treating COVID-19. Dr. Fauci suggested this was highly significant, and Donald Trump suggested we cut the remdesivir with bleach just to be safe. Thank you. Wait, can you? Yes. That's great. You're welcome. Could you just say that doctor's name one more time? Fauci. It was Fauci. You know Fau Fauci is. Have you heard of Fauci? That's a good name. I like that. I'm going to be honest. No, but it's such a great last name. All right. Do you want to hear another joke? One more joke. Ready? Researchers out of Korea

have discovered that patients who seem to have contracted the coronavirus twice actually were just false positives and did not have the virus again. Upon hearing the news, Tom Hanks reopened his kissing booth. Oh, no. It was so nice to meet you. Good luck with your YouTube channel, all right? Hey, thank you. You want to shout out your podcast? You know what? I do. It's called Pod Save the World, okay? And it's about foreign policy. It's hosted by me and a guy named Ben Rhodes. And we really dive into the issues. Oh, hell yeah. Chat, you heard it here first. And viewers, you heard it

here. Go check this man out. I'm definitely doing it. I'm going to binge watch all your podcasts, mate. Hell yeah. But thank you. It was a pleasure. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Have a great one. Thanks to everyone on Omegle who went along with that. One other development this week, we learned more about Tara Reid's allegation about Joe Biden, including Rich McHugh's report for Business Insider, in which Reid's neighbor said on the record that 25 years ago, Reid told her about not just harassment, but an act of assault. I know Rich, he was Ronan's producer when NBC was throwing up roadblocks

around reporting on Harvey Weinstein, and he's a person I really respect. It's obviously worrying, and we're not sure where to put that worry. And I've been looking to leaders and writers I trust like Tarana Burke and Rebecca Traister, who have been really thoughtful in untangling the complicated issues and concerns and questions this raises. And I'll just say that we don't have to be defensive in wanting to do everything we can to defeat Donald Trump and believing we need to treat this allegation seriously. We have to do both. And those two missions are not in conflict unless you accept the cynical framing of those who want to use this allegation as a weapon. And so I think it's our job as we learn more to talk about it, and that's what we're going to do.

And that's all I've got. I just wanted to take a moment to talk about that because I know it's our job as we learn more to talk about it, and that's what we're going to do. And that's all I've got. I just wanted to take a moment to talk about that because I know it's on a lot of people's minds, mine included. And with that, we'll be right back, and we'll talk to some listeners. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. We've been spending the last two months talking to you, the listeners,

about what this experience has been like for you, about working from home or teaching kids remotely or treating patients or dealing with a lost job or illness. And I know a lot of us were caught off guard by just how quickly life could change, but not all of you. Some of you have been training for this your whole lives. There are preppers among us, and we wanted to talk to the prepared in our listening community, group, fans, people, humans, in a game we're calling Show Us Your Beans.

So joining me right now, we have two competitors. We have Will. Please introduce yourself, Will. Hi, I'm Will. I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Crushed it. And we're joined by Debra. She goes by Deb, never Debbie. Deb, where are you? How's it going? My Jewish mother is going to love that you said that. I'm Deb. I live in Cambridge, Massachusetts, but I'm a Philadelphia native. Okay, okay, okay. So here's how this is going to work.

I'm going to see just how prepared you are with a scavenger hunt in your own homes. I'm going to name an item or category of an item, and you have to rush off and grab it and bring it back. And then based on what you bring back and how quickly, I will decide who won the round. If you don't have what I asked for, bring us something, okay, that's similar, all right? The winner will be subjective. So try to win me over. Okay. Are you ready? Deb and Will, are you ready? Yeah, definitely. Round one. Bring me as many beans as you can carry. This is a delight.

This is a delight. Deb is back with so many cans of beans. Four, five, six. You didn't say we couldn't go twice. Will, how many beans you got? Let's see. I got eight bags of dried lentils and four cans of chickpeas. I'm loosely interpreting that minestrone soup is full of beans.

Will is gone again. Oh, my goodness. You hoarders. More minestrone soup. Minestrone soup does not count as beans. There are beans. There are garbanzo beans, red kidney beans, white beans. There's a lot of beans in there.

Okay. All right, Will, how many cans of beans? Six, eight, how many cans of beans? Six, eight, 12, 15. Deb, I'm sorry, but the first round, it goes to Will. He's got 15 cans and bags of beans, and none of it is soup. Come on, this has to be okay, fine. Round two. Round two. Are you ready?

Yes. Bring me an unopened board game you never play. Too unopened in the package. That game, The Thing, I have that game. What do you got, Will? Have you played it? No, I haven't opened it. What do you got, Will? Will brought back a puzzle.

Deb brought back two games. Round two goes to Deb. But congrats to Will for getting ahead of the puzzle shortage. Round three, bring us the stupidest or most extreme

prepper purchase you have made. The running, the shop till you drop supermarket sweep element of this is really, really enjoyable. Where's the oxygen tank? Quick. I just heard Deb say, where's the oxygen tank? Quick.

Not oxygen tank, oxygen thing. Oxygen thing. You have an oximeter. And Will, what did you bring? I have a toddler-sized bottle of red wine. I brought scone mix as a backup. Deb, I'm sorry. This round's going to Will. Fair. Will is up two to one, but it's anybody's game.

Next round, here we go. Bring us all the peanut butter. I'll accept other nut butters. We didn't stock up this week. I only have one. Reduced fat. Wait a second. Give us the ounces. What is the ounces on that jar? What are the ounces? What do we got, Deb? 40 ounces. 40 ounces. I'm going to say 16, but I'm not sure they sell reduced fat that big. You know what? Reduced fat peanut butter is a 1990s high-carb, low-fat scam.

I'm sorry, Deb. I'm sorry. This one goes to Will. Will is now up 3-1, but in the final round, points are worth double, I guess. Here we go. Final question for you both. Bring a hand-cranked or solar-powered product. That was your hand-crankable.

They both have it. They both have it. Oh, damn. You have a solar-powered something, don't you? In the car, in the car, there is a solar powered phone charger and a lantern, I think. Deb, I think that that's a moral victory, but I see Will ready for a long term power outage. Deb, I don't know if you'll be able to get to your car. I appreciate the hustle, Deb, but this round also goes to Will.

Will has won the game. Well played, Will. This is the best day of my life. Sorry, Steve. Wedding was top five. This is as good as... That is so sad for you and so great for us. Will from Milwaukee,

Deb from Cambridge via Philadelphia, thank you both so much for playing. That was so much fun. from Milwaukee, Deb from Cambridge via Philadelphia. Thank you both so much for playing. That was so much fun. And you know what? In the end, you're both winners because you're supplied. You know, you're ready with minestrone soup

and a hand-cranked radio. And you're both getting parachute gift cards. So you both are winners. Thanks. Thank you. Thank you both so much. When we come back,

we'll be joined by Ed Helms. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way. And we're back. You know him from The Office, The Hangover, The Daily Show, and his new virtual variety show, Whiskey Sour Happy Hour. Welcome back to the show, Ed Helms. Thank you so much for having me.

I am thrilled to be here. Thank you for doing this. So, first of all, how are you doing? Well, that is a complicated question. I'm starting to resent that question. Everybody asks it all the time, but it's a necessary one, right? We're all just kind of coping and dealing. I have to say I'm actually doing quite well, all things considered. I have a lot to be thankful for. My family is fantastic and I have food and shelter. So I'm doing quite well. Thank you. I'm in the same boat. I will say that my intake of spoonfuls of peanut butter have gone up a bit higher than baseline, but hard to complain.

Hard to complain. So first of all, also tell us about this new show, Whiskey Sour Happy Hour. So this is a show that I'm sure all of your listeners know that I co-founded the bluegrasssituation.com, which is kind of a online roots music hub. And the executive director of that, Amy Reitenauer, she and I just started to kind of try to figure out what we could do once all this happened. Like, how can we help? Everybody's sitting on their hands, we're all quarantined and thought, let's leverage all of our relationships and friends friendships with all these great musicians that we've built over the years and throw up a variety show i i've done something very similar at largo here in los angeles for many years called the whiskey sour radio hour which had nothing to do with radio it was just

sort of a fun old old-time variety show live in a theater setting. And this just was kind of like a fun online version. And it's raising money for Music Cares, which supports people in the music business that have been clobbered by this COVID-19 craziness. And also Direct Relief, which is this incredible organization that just pumps out medical equipment, personal protective equipment, all that stuff to doctors, nurses, medical workers on the front lines. And they're incredible. So all the donations get split 50-50 between those.

And we have incredible lineups. We've got four shows each Wednesday. We've done two already. We have two more the next two Wednesdays. And just all your – just great. We've got comedians. We have two more the next two Wednesdays and just all your just great. We got comedians. We got, it's awesome. That's awesome. And, uh, direct relief is a great organization. So everybody check out whiskey, sour, happy hour. And now Ed, you have agreed to play a game today. I have agreed. I don't know what I'm in for exactly.

I have agreed. I don't know what I'm in for exactly. I don't trust you, John Lovett. I shouldn't be trusted. I don't like you. I don't trust you. Not a likable guy. I feel anxious.

I don't know what's about to happen, but let's do it. Because some hosts make guests feel at ease. Not me. Not me. I take an opposite approach. You make guests feel unease. They want to get out. That's your specialty. All right. So earlier this week, the New York Times came out with a comprehensive analysis

of every Trump press conference since the coronavirus crisis began. This includes the number of times Trump said certain words or didn't mention certain things. These numbers are so jarring and so surprising, we don't think Ed will be able to comprehend just how bad Trump has been in a segment we're calling, okay, fine, but maybe these press conferences are the third worst thing about the coronavirus. That's the name of the segment? That's it. That's the name of it. Okay. The third worst thing? Yeah. Maybe it's the third worst thing. Well, I, you know, I think it's, I'm going to leave it to the imagination of the listener. I mean, obviously the first worst thing

is the virus. Sure, sure, sure. And maybe the second worst thing is the massive economic cataclysm that it's unleashed. Okay, good. All right. Potentially. And this might be the third worst thing. This might be the third worst. Okay. All right. But the title is not committed to it. It doesn't know. Right. It might be. God. Here's how it works. I'm going to ask you a question. And like the price is right, you have to try to guess the number without going over. Are you ready? I am ready. Let's go. Let's do this. Without going over, how many press briefings did Trump hold between March 9th and April 17th? 18. 42. What? Between March what? Between March 9th and April 17th, he basically came out every single day. Wow. All right. That's a good statistic. I'm not saying that the results were good, but like a president being visible,

like just that on its own is usually a good thing. Traditionally. Traditionally a good thing. Yeah. Next question. Donald Trump attempted to show empathy 60 times during those briefings. Without going over, roughly how many times did he congratulate himself? Let's see. There are 42 conferences. I'm going to say 85. 600. What? Wait a minute. Congratulate himself 10 times more frequently than he has expressed empathy. Holy moly.

I mean, that's a lot of times. Yeah, even a healthy ego, someone I compliment myself from time to time. But holy moly. I'm not against a pat on the back. Sure. I'm not against getting back there with just giving the back a nice little pat. But 600's a lot.

Yeah. All right. OK. All right. Next question. So Donald Trump expressed empathy 60 times. He congratulated himself 600 times. Without going over, how many

times did he blame other people for the crisis? Well, there's the famous incident in which he said, I take no responsibility. So that's one that I specifically remember. Let's count them up. Let's start. Let's name them all. Yeah. So blaming other people. I know he blamed Obama at one point, Yeah. So blaming other people. I know he blamed Obama at one point, probably a couple of times. So I'm going to say he blamed other people out of 42 press conferences, 35 times. 110 times, Ed. Get out of here. That's how many times.

Get out of here. That's too many times. That was our backup name for the segment. That's too many times. That was our backup name for the segment. It's too many times. That's a good one. It might be a better title. Listen, all right. We've been making this show from inside my house now for eight weeks. You're looking a little ragged.

I mean, just in your soul. You look great. No, no, no, no. Nice save. I do look ragged. I do look ragged. I don't know what. I look like someone who hasn't left their house in eight weeks. I don't know what.

I'm going to have to do something. I'm going to have to do something. I may have to shave the head. Next question. Between March 9th and April 17th, how many false or exaggerated statements were made by Trump during these press conferences? The guy does not love truth, let's be honest. Not a huge fan of it.

So five, I mean, the numbers are blowing me away, so I'm just going to throw a huge one out there, 500. That's your first wrong answer according to the standard, 130 times, 130 times, which is more than twice as often as he's expressed empathy and appeared so that's that's more than twice per appearance about three lines again he's getting about three lines a day he's expressed empathy 60 times he has touted his own record what 600 times in 42 press guys 15 times a day 15 times a day he goes in front of the cameras and he praises himself that's great he has a good therapist it's good for him it's good

for him and that he seems to be his his main constituent yeah that's true that's true he's and look he's his own biggest booster as look somebody told donald trump a long time ago that no one's going to fight for you if you don't fight for you. Yeah. And according to his one constituent himself, he's crushing it. Crushing it. So I don't know what, I mean, we're just holding him to the wrong standard, I guess. Jared Kushner also thinks he's crushing it, another constituent. Final question, bonus, without going over, if Trump's statements during this briefing were published as a book, how many pages would all these briefings add up to?

A book, I would say the book would be 132 pages. 700 pages. Get out of here. Are you kidding me? We're not kidding. He has basically done a war and peace from the briefing room. Wow. Wow.

I guess you flood the zone. That's his whole thing. That's his whole thing. You put so much out there that it's almost impossible to parse the nuances. I mean, I'm just in awe. There's a strange beauty to this, right? Almost sort of like a slow motion mushroom cloud, like it's magnificent to behold. It's sort of hyper real. It's so absurd. I want to say that that was an absurd joke I just made. There is nothing beautiful about what he's

doing. I understood that. And I want you nothing beautiful about what he's doing. I, I, I understood that. And I want you to know that I trust the listener to understand that because when you describe a mushroom cloud, I think people understood implicitly that you're describing something horrible. I mean, you're not a huge fan of, it's not like you're saying, and I love mushroom clouds. Right. Right. Well, Ed, thank you so much for joining us. You've won the game, by the way. You won. I didn't think I was, I really didn't think I was doing very well. Well, here's the thing about a Price is Right game with one participant. There's no real way to lose. Oh, great. Yeah. Okay. So what do I get? Do I get the,

do I get the... You just get a, the next time I see you, you get a firm handshake. All right. And you know what? Listen, watch that mailbox because there's going to be some merch, all right? All right, I love it. There's going to be some merch. I love some merch. I'm a merch man.

It's really great to see you, John. Thanks for having me. It is good to see you. Thank you for coming on. And everybody, please check out the Whiskey Sour Happy Hour. It's an awesome show for really good causes. It's on YouTube. It's on the Bluegrass Situation website

or YouTube or Facebook pages. Just Google it. Just Google it. Yeah. Just Google it. Just fucking Google it. That's all you gotta do. You don't need to be told by us how to find it. You know how to find things. Ed Helms, thank you so much. Alright, my pleasure. Cheers. When we come back, we'll talk

to reporter Olivia Nutze. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. She's the Washington correspondent for New York Magazine and has written for Politico, GQ, and The Washington Post. Please welcome Olivia Nutze. Thanks for having me. Thanks for being here.

So, Olivia, you're one of the reporters who's been covering Trump's daily coronavirus briefings. What is the environment like right now, just from the practical reality of having to physically go there? Well, you know, I only went to one briefing in the Rose Garden. I've been watching it mostly on at home like everybody else. I've covered Trump for a really long time and I cover this White House. um i've covered trump for a really long time and i cover this white house but the way that they uh change things during the pandemic is that there are only i believe it's 14 reporters allowed in the briefing room you have to sit it's not quite six feet apart but there are like a couple chairs in between you it's a really small room if for people who haven't been there before it's like

pretty cramped and like humble looking so i haven't been able to go there because i'm not part of the print pool rotation as we call it But you can go in the Rose Garden because there's more availability in terms of seats. And it was really weird because normally when I go to any press conference, I get kind of nervous. Sometimes I'll just hide behind someone or like I'll raise my hand and then regret it and decide to put my hand down and leave or something. But you can't do that because there are no reporters. So Trump sees everything. So in the Rose Garden, there were, I guess,

maybe there were 16 reporters, but the seats are staggered in such a way that he can see everything to the extent that you could make eye contact with him and kind of gesture a little bit at him during other parts of the briefing. It's very weird. But so there's no way to like

raise your hand and then hide behind someone else and change your mind about asking a question. And so I got a little bit nervous prior to him calling on me. And then I realized it was just too late because my hand had already gone up and he'd already seen it. Did you find yourself making any gestures at Trump to try to get his attention in any way that was unexpected even to you? No, I mean, I wasn't like, you know, making like devil horns on him or anything maybe next time. But, you know, it's funny, my boyfriend Ryan lives over at a piece for Politico recently about going to the briefings. He's been to more than I have. And one of his colleagues he wrote in the piece told him that

the best way to make sure Trump calls on you is to like lock eyes with him when he walks out to the podium, like hold his eye contact. And then while someone else is talking, inevitably during the briefing, he gets bored and he'll like look around the room because he's as bored as like you probably are watching it. And if you make eye contact with him and like nod and say like me next he'll like always kind of make a deal with you and call on you next and uh that turned out to be true for uh for ryan um i didn't go quite that far but while other people were talking i would kind of like raise my eyebrows at him or like do like a little wave and he 100% saw it. And he's as bored as anyone else listening to someone drone on

about CBS or LabCorp or whatever it was that people were talking about on Monday. Well, he shouldn't be as bored as anyone else. I also just like the idea that you're engaging with him on the level of a dog that's never had a safe home, like how to make eye contact, how to make him feel safe. You know, I think it was almost like I, I, it's, I engaged with him the way that I would engage in like the third grade with like someone across the room that like I wanted to like

be in cahoots with, like against the teacher. Like that's kind of what it felt like. It's very strange. A little conspiratorial. You kind of create a, you create an energy that's like, we're, we're in this together. Call on me. Right. And then you fuck him over with your question. Right, right, right. Well, you know, you got in some trouble with everybody except Trump. So you asked a question that was basically like some version of how do you fucking sleep at night? No, you didn't do that. No, your question was something along the lines of, are the consequences of this

pandemic something you'd want to run on given how many people died, given the harm it's done? And a lot of people on this website where we go to feel bad Twitter were upset with you. But it was interesting. Trump didn't seem to find the question offensive at all. He took it. Trump, who's never afraid to attack a questioner questioner, just took it on the level. it, Trump, who's never afraid to attack a questioner questioner, just took it on the level. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why he wasn't upset with it other than he seemed to just think like he almost, his reaction made it seem like he had been waiting to receive a question like that. And that it was something that he had been thinking about because a normal, I think it was Sam Stein on, on that terrible website we go on who said this, the interesting thing about

Trump's answer to that question, which he totally took seriously, was that a normal politician, normal president would say something in response like, oh, electoral politics is the furthest thing from my mind right now. But, you know, I hope, whatever, I hope the American people think I'm doing a good job, something like that. Trump didn't have that impulse at all because, of course, he didn't because he's not a normal person right and so his impulse was just to be like no i'm doing a good job and like everything's fine but one jack is too many and it was just like an incoherent answer but he he tried um but yeah everyone else was mad at me i, because they expected Trump to either lash out at me and discredit the question himself or to use it as an opportunity, which it could have been to make the case for his reelection. And he did not do that.

And so it seemed like there were a lot of people on the right and part of his campaign who decided to try and make up for his performance by going after me. And like, I'm still getting messages right now that are like, I hope you get cancer. You seem to have that. That happens to you fairly regularly. I don't get cancer regularly, thank God. No, no, I like that. Sorry, yes, you get nasty messages calling for you to get sick regularly.

I apologize. Yeah, it's fine. It's just amplified the question. Like, I think everyone would have just forgotten about it. But because the entire right wing media has spent four days attacking me and telling me to go kill myself. The question lives on as a meme. So one other, you know, you wrote a piece this week, you know, your piece basically argued for why these briefings should be shown in full. And there was also a number of polling showing that these briefings may not be helping Trump. And there are a number of Republicans now urging him to stop doing them so frequently or for so

long, for so much time, because they really go off the rails. This follows after a couple weeks of a lot of liberals basically saying that these things shouldn't be aired because they're propaganda and they're spreading misinformation. But you think they should be aired. And obviously, there's a conversation that's been going on a lot. But I just was curious, what is your argument? Here's my, I read your piece, and I guess my one question would be, okay, like the American public deserve the right to see this chaos and bullshit in full, that seeing it on its own terms is a good way for the American people to evaluate just how sort of unhinged and unsafe this all is. But what about people that simply do not register that what they're seeing is misinformation, is chaotic? What about the parts of the briefing that aren't him yelling, aren't him ranting and raving, but are him calmly and from this sort

of institution of the podium saying things that are simply untrue. I think that we have to trust that people can observe that without it converting them or without it completely brainwashing them. And that may not be the case, but I think that most people can handle watching him and the transformation that he makes from when he's having those calm moments and like being semi-coherent be the case but i think that most people can handle watching him and and the transformation that he makes from when he's having those calm moments and like being semi-coherent and at least trying to read off of something um to when he's talking on his own without a script and going crazy i think that's fascinating to watch and i think we do people a disservice when we decide oh no we get to choose the like two seconds of safe clip for the public to see

that has to be analyzed by Wolf Blitzer and Gloria Borger after the fact. That's much more beneficial for the public than just hearing it in full before the panelists come in. I guess I just don't believe that we can treat people as if they're that fragile. And I think we lose a lot of what is so off-putting about the way that Trump speaks and behaves when we chop him up. I mean, I referenced in the piece, there is this piece by a Guardian editor from 2019. She was coming to the U.S. for the first time to cover something. And or maybe she's in Canada and she was seeing the U.S. news. But regardless, she saw a Trump press conference in its entirety for the first time.

And her response was like, what the fuck? Like, it does not sound like this when you when you watch the news coverage of it or you see or you read about it in the paper. And that's because we necessarily are like, I think she writes some paraphrasing, but we're putting Trump's words into sequential order and we're imposing meaning where it's difficult to detect if you're just watching it. I agree. Put the briefings aside, right? Forget the briefings. Just in this broader context, you know, Donald Trump goes to, well, now he can't, but when he did, when he will resume, he goes to Milwaukee and he gives a 90-minute stemwinder, rambling, incoherent at times, bonkers set of remarks. And then the headline by nonpartisan outlets that are respected, that aren't the usual outlets that get the kind of bashing that CNN gets, that the Times headline watchers usually give the Times, that like the AP, NPR, local newspapers,

you know, Donald Trump comes to Milwaukee to tout economic progress and immigration reform or to talk about the strength of a jobs report and to talk about building a wall. And simply by the imposing of a narrative, you do Donald Trump a favor when inside of the remarks themselves, there was no context. There was no train of thought that was followed. Yeah, I mean, that's my argument. was no train of thought that was followed. Yeah, I mean, that's my argument. It's like when you when you are forced as reporters are forced to sit through endless rambling to to hear whatever it is that Trump's message is that day. Sometimes when I'm sitting there, and this is partly because I'm very bad at like listening, but I at any event, great, great quality for a reporter. I know it's really going, it's going well. But like, sometimes I'll be sitting there, and a lot of times it's very easy to tell when Trump has said something crazy or when he says something remarkable, right?

Because everyone in the moment is like, oh, God, holy shit. Like, get to Twitter and blow it up. But a lot of times he'll, like, throw, he'll have, like, a throwaway line or something. And I'm surprised that it's given the weight that it is in the media coverage because it didn't seem to be significant for him. Or it didn't seem like he was saying it the way that it's being interpreted. And I think when someone speaks in like the unusual way that Donald Trump speaks, where it's like sometimes it's highly subjective what it is that he means. what it is that he means. I'm sure people will hate that I'm saying this,

but I am almost sympathetic to Trump's argument and to the argument of a lot of people in the White House who say that the press doesn't get him all the time and that we mistake what he's trying to say. Not like, oh, he's sarcastic and we don't get that. But I think a lot of the time we're just like, we're picking out the stray sentence where he says one thing, and then in the next sentence, he kind of discredits it, or he kind of suggests he didn't

really mean it. And it's like, well, which is it? Is that the new policy of the United States? Is he changing his mind from what he said yesterday? Or is he still like iffy about this, but it just happened to sound a little bit more sure in that one sentence? he's still like iffy about this, but it just happened to sound a little bit more sure in that one sentence. It's very complicated to assess in real time. I just think that it's become conventional wisdom, particularly on the left, that it's so dangerous to allow people to hear Donald Trump. But I think that when we are trying to protect people from him, I think we're actually helping people who may otherwise find his ideas palatable, which is not the press's problem. I mean, we don't have to make this calculation about whether or not we're helping people support Trump or turn against him.

That's not our job. But I do think that we are helping make him more palatable to people who maybe wouldn't go to a rally normally, but who like how he like his policy on taxes or the Supreme Court or something, they don't have to deal with listening to him spitball for two and a half hours in order to hear what he has to say about taxes. It's interesting, right? Because I'm not sympathetic to the argument that he's being misquoted or mistreated when you take out part of what he says, because of course, they're part of the advantage of having these rambling 150, 250-word sentences is they are left to the interpretation of reporters, of the listeners, so that he can be telling his base one thing and kind of have a bit of plausible deniability on the other hand. But putting that aside, I guess my question for you is, and I'm not asking, I actually don't disagree with you, but my question is about sort of the practical reality of informing people, because you're absolutely right. Like there's value to not hiding from people who might like to pretend Trump isn't what

he is, to showing people what Trump is in full. But then again, a lot of people don't have time and most people are not going to sit and watch a 90 minute rally, even if CNN airs it in full. So what is the best way for nonpartisan news outlets to convey to people the substance, but also the tenor of Trump's remarks? Because right now, I feel like there's this false choice. You either have to see the remarks in full or never know just how chaotic and rambling they were because the language of the AP, the language of nonpartisan, kind of the obtuse tone of a lot of straight news

coverage, which completely elides the manic nature of what he's doing up there. I mean, I'm talking about this strictly with regards to these briefings, right? If we're talking about a rally, I think that it's a much different conversation, right? Because that is explicitly a campaign event. And you're right, most people, most of the time do not have that much time to devote. But if we're talking about cable news coverage, that's like how much of the day on MSNBC or CNN is devoted to cable news coverage instead of like lockup or whatever happened, whatever played that 3am. I don't know that I think that an hour more of a panel of pundits talking and assessing what Trump is saying is more useful information and more consistent. It's not like a readout. It's not like a quick way for people to

get the news of the day and the gist, right? So I think we're talking about an hour or two hours of cable news programming in a day is really what we're talking about. We're not talking about, you know, should the New York Times homepage be removed in its entirety and turned into a live stream of Donald Trump's events so that everyone is forced to watch Donald Trump in the middle of the day for as long as he wants to talk? That's not what I'm saying, obviously. But I don't know. I mean, I think most people understand very little about politics. And I think for most people, you know, you need a lot more time and a lot more context in order to explain to them, you know, why what Donald Trump is saying about trade or about China or about whatever has the consequences that it does. So I don't really know what the answer is. And I'm trying to figure it out like everybody else. But I also have no power because I'm just a reporter. So all I can do is write my my dumb little columns. You also had power over other figures. So last question. Any texts with Giuliani lately?

Oh, my God, he left me on read. I, I reached out to him, because I had talked to him. The last time I really talked to him him was as everything was like really shutting down and trump started to take it seriously i was like how are you and he's oh i'm doing great i was like are you social distancing and he said what is that yeah i've been socially distancing from donna hanover for 25 years i'm socially distancing from everyone but my cousins. But so he, that's a joke because he married his cousin. Anyway, for those of you at home. I forgot that. I forgot that element. For those of you at home who don't know a lot about really any sex life as I do.

But so I had to explain to him what social distancing was. And he said that he was, he was mostly doing that and he was no longer going to the Grand Havana room, his cigar bar in New York. Cause, uh, I guess they were no longer doing that. Uh, but then I texted him to, uh, to say, to invite him to dinner and he left me on bread. That I bet, I bet that that's an accident. I bet that's a, that's a, I think that that's, accident. I bet that's a... I think it's an accident. I think that that's... Thank you.

Thank you for letting me live this life. I just cannot believe, all right? I just cannot believe that Rudy Giuliani is going to let an offer like that... And by an offer like that, I mean dinner with a human that wants to have dinner with him to go by. So I assume... Thank you.

I honestly think this was a mistake and I think it's one he deeply regrets. Thank you so much. That makes me feel a lot better. Olivia Nutsy, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, bye. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It and there's more on the way.

And we're back. Thanks to Ed Helms. Thanks to Olivia Nutsy. Thanks to our listeners for joining us. For those of you who had a hard week, here it is, this week's high notes submitted by listeners across the country. My high note of the week is my buddy Sean Quinlan had to suspend his campaign running for state house here in Pennsylvania. But he immediately threw himself into trying to provide masks for essential workers and health care workers. And within a week, he had 100 people making masks.

Within a month, there were over 700 people in our community in Pennsylvania making masks. And they've made over 10,000 masks. And we've even shipped them as far away as London and Puerto Rico, and seeing all of the people step up and help make masks and do it for free out of the kindness of their heart has been an amazingly gratifying thing and powerful. And I'm just so overjoyed to see all of the kindness in people's hearts. That's it. Thanks.

Hi, Lovett. My high note for the week is that after a super long process, I got into my top choice graduate program in clinical psychology. So that's pretty awesome. And I will be able to start helping people once this whole pandemic is over. So, yeah, I hope you're staying safe. Hey, love it. This is Kirstie calling from the Isle of Mull in Scotland,

which is actually quite close to Jura, where your sponsor Jura Whiskey is made. My high point has been rediscovering my love of euchre, which I learned when I was living in Pennsylvania, and playing it online with my fiancé, Ben, who's quarantined in Michigan, where he's currently working. Being apart right now really sucks, but playing cards online and listening to Love It or

Leave It is helping a lot. You and Ronan are welcome at our card table anytime. Thanks, Love It, and take care. Bye. Hi, this is Ian from Washington, and I just wanted to share that my parents, who are 59 and 65, both contracted COVID-19, both beat it, and are giving back. This week, they went to the University of California San Francisco Medical Center, and each gave 16 vials of blood, two vials of saliva, and filled out five pages of questionnaires Thank you to everybody who submitted those high notes. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, you can call us at 424-341-4193. It is 185 days until the election. Sign up for Vote Save America right now to help defeat Donald Trump, to keep the House, to win back the Senate. Thank you to Ed Helms, Olivia Nutsy, everyone who called in and everyone who showed Travis and everyone who showed me their

penis on Omegle. All right. I did not. Okay. Thank, I did not see one penis. What a scam. Thank you to our grocery workers and truck drivers and delivery people. Thank you to our doctors and nurses. And thank you to our whole staff working to keep this show going out and Crooked going strong.

Have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a product of Crooked Media. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, Elisa Gutierrez, Lee Eisenberg, and our head writer, former Mike Bloomberg speechwriter, Travis Helwig. Jocelyn Kaufman, Alicia Carroll, and Peter Miller are the writers.

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