Lovett or Leave It - Subscriber Exclusive: Terminally Online

Episode Date: November 30, 2024

While Lovett or Leave It is on a break this week, enjoy some of the best moments from the Crooked subscription exclusive show Terminally Online. Listen to learn more than you ever needed to know about... the nuanced art of Balkan breakfast, RFK’s horny TikTok history, the ghosts in Tucker Carlson’s bedroom, and the complex backstory of the Costco Guys.If you want more, head to Crooked.com/Friends and subscribe! You'll get Terminally Online and other subscriber shows, and it's the best way to support Crooked Media as we build an independent, progressive media company.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey! Hey. John and John here. Our shows are off today, and so you're about to hear a best of Terminally Online, an exclusive show from Crooked Subscription, Friends of the Pod. Terminally Online is often called the loosest show on Crooked, and it's one of the many perks that come with a Friend of the Pod subscription. If you like what you hear, you can listen to new episodes every week when you subscribe to Friends of the Pod. Subscribing is the best way to support the work we do at Crooked Media. Our mission of building a progressive, independent media company that's a counterweight to the right-wing machine has never been more important.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Never. Never been more important. Never, never been more important. Plus, you'll get ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, exclusive shows like what you're about to hear, and access to Crooked's Discord community, where you can process the news with like-minded listeners or listeners that aren't like-minded. Just yell at people if you want.
Starting point is 00:00:54 Yeah, kindly. For a limited time, we're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions. Head to crooked.com slash friends or subscribe through the Pod Save America feed on Apple Podcast podcasts right now. And now here it is, Terminal 9. John Favreau, when were you two online this week?
Starting point is 00:01:12 Okay, so we all know RFK Jr. So someone posted this on X this week. So what we're looking at here is a TikTok video from 2022. That woman is named Tyler Idol. She's a porn actress. She's got an OnlyFans account. She's on TikTok a lot. And on one of her videos,
Starting point is 00:01:34 there's Robert F. Kennedy Jr. verified account replying, wow. You might say he believes in that moon landing. And then there's two little heart smiley emojis. Yeah, the smiley kind of sheepish with the three hearts. Yeah, so the MAGA person, I think his name is like MAGA Joe or something that put it up.
Starting point is 00:01:59 He revealed this and then a lot of people said, wow, he's just, it's like a very Ted Cruz liking the Liking the porn on 9-eleven. Remember that one of the best things that ever happens ever happens I mean, there's a lot of bad options and very few good options on 9-eleven So people were wondering why he was liking this why I was commenting on this and then we got I didn't think we were gonna Get an explanation. We got this explanation from RFK junior. Three parts. So complicated.
Starting point is 00:02:26 The first, the first tweet is do people really think I was TikToking in 2022, which is a wild thing to tweet. Like that's, that's your kickoff to this. So do people think that, and then he says the TikTok comment in question was made in 2022 long before I ever had a TikTok account. This comment now appears on my account because the account was previously owned by one of the campaign's young social media managers. And then he said, when I announced my run for the presidency in April of 2023, the team wanted it broadcast on every social platform, including TikTok. However, TikTok does not allow live streaming
Starting point is 00:03:01 for accounts that have less than a thousand followers. Fewer than. The social... allow live streaming for accounts that have less than a thousand followers. Fewer than the social. The social media manager decided to transfer his account, which had around 1500 followers to me in order to stream my announcement on Tik TOK. All right. What do we think? We believe it. You listen, I listen, I don't know a lot of words to say.
Starting point is 00:03:20 It wasn't me yanking the cord. Also John to your point about him saying in back in 2022, it was a lot of words to say, it wasn't me yanking the cord. You know? Also, John, to your point about him saying, back in 2022, it was September of 2020. Right, it was like Q4. Is that three or four? I have no idea what Q, I don't know what Q they are. It sounds like Q4. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Yeah, I mean, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Remember when he farted at the dinner too? Yes. More than the New Yorker. Oh my, that was that a BBL? Could've been foreign policy research.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Wasn't that the dinner, he had a dinner where several ancient colonists started bickering and then somebody farted? Yes, yes, that was the funniest story. Incredible, incredible. One of the great journalistic institutions left of our time, the Daily Mail, wrote a whole story about this. And the campaign didn't just,
Starting point is 00:04:03 it didn't just stop at a young social media manager. The campaign gave the guy's name and picture to the Daily Mail and a picture of him with RFK Jr. His name is Rajan Murphy, 33 from Georgia. And he was like, yeah, I was supposed to set, and they had to give this whole explanation. He's like, I was supposed to set up the account
Starting point is 00:04:23 and I was just moving too fast and I didn't think that all of my old comments would be deleted, but they are. And so I don't know if he's now, he's the fall guy for this or it's really true because when you look for him now, he has no social media accounts anywhere. So this is the guy who supposedly had like a lot of followers
Starting point is 00:04:41 on TikTok, but now he is not on TikTok, Instagram or anywhere else to be found. Well, I mean, traditionally RFK Jr. has been a real straight shooter, as you know, you can take him at his word. Well, I mean, yeah. This is where he's claiming he wasn't doing it, the shooting actually.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I will say like the video itself was not explicit. Like it's not, it's an embarrassing thing to, but I'm surprised how much attention they drew to it. Yes. He more forcefully pushed back on this than the leaked video of him saying that COVID targets white people and black people, but not Jews and Chinese people. This is where he draws the line.
Starting point is 00:05:19 This is his line in the sand. I feel like he's really, yeah, what makes me most suspicious about it is that they went so hard at trying to debunk this. You know, every once in a while, there'll be a story about a corruption scandal or a crime committed by a campaign or congressional office, and some young person will end up in jail
Starting point is 00:05:42 because they followed, they just like, they went along with something that they shouldn't have gone along with,, they just like they went along with something that they shouldn't have gone along with and they thought like you know they didn't they didn't listen to their little voice telling them that like this is just a job don't don't give up your own reputation for that of a politician and in this case I'm glad this guy fucking set himself on fire for RFK jr. you deserve everything you're getting. If you think that this cause this cause is so fucking worthy that you're gonna be like no no no I'm Spartacus
Starting point is 00:06:10 It's my fucking it's my it's my wank like That's mine not no no it's not RFK jr. It's hard to get a handle on our case thought pattern Huh? It's not RFK Jr. It's hard to get a handle on RFK's thought pattern. Huh? I got it, Tommy. That's pretty good. Thanks, Elijah. Like T-H-O-T. You don't speak, bro. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:06:34 It wasn't even, it wasn't even. Oh, Jesus. You don't even know who's in the Super Bowl next weekend? Super dork. Of course I do. The Jews told me six weeks ago. And what a decision we made. We met in the basement. And what a decision we made.
Starting point is 00:06:47 We met in the basement. We were like, you know, everybody feel good about taking those golds from those Russians and giving them to the Americans. We were like, yes, we need the win. And then we said 49ers versus, you know, obviously Travis's team. I'm taken aback by the fact that it was just really not that racy picture at all. Right. It could be in any catalog for clothing. But her... Oh yeah you know catalogs. I'll tell you though. We all have catalogs. Websites. Her only fans is blowing up. She's now posting videos about being the RFK junior girl. Yeah. Someone made out great in this whole thing. There's something to be said about...
Starting point is 00:07:21 Look I just think something about a grassy knoll. All right, end of thought. I was gonna say, yeah, you just avoid that. Is it a bad time to tell you that I've been liking OnlyFangirls on all of your accounts right now? Thank you. As a social haven, I am.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Neither. I have a question for you. Is it possible to transfer your TikTok account and then, because there's a new handle that just says the Kennedy 2024 campaign. There's like no traces of it being an old. No. It's not.
Starting point is 00:07:49 So he's full of shit. Yeah. I love this. Full of shit and horny. I was hoping that we'd have a social. Like most politicians. I was hoping we'd have one of our social media experts here. I only know this because Amelia, our old social maven, she had to make another account
Starting point is 00:08:05 because she wanted to try something completely different. And so you have to start from the ground up for the most part. This is bullshit. Bootstrapping it. 2022, who was TikToking in 2022? Q4. I wasn't even horny in Q3.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Meanwhile, he was- Late Q3. Cut to him shirtless in jeans, lifting weights in gold gym. Anyway, that's what I got. All right. He's still on the campaign, by the way. He's helping- Real strides and effect. He's currently helping organize the campaign's
Starting point is 00:08:32 Black History Month event. Great. Cool. Yeah. I wonder what George Papadopoulos is up to these days. Wow. That's a pass. George Papadopoulos.
Starting point is 00:08:41 Look at you. Wow. I think, I don't know. I feel like that's just a, I think it's a two, honestly. Yeah, it's like a two. I saw someone say Basta today and it made me think of that guy. Basta, remember?
Starting point is 00:08:51 Remember? Oh, oh. He's our guest. Basta. Oh, oh, oh, Michael Avenatti. Michael Avenatti, thank you. Basta. Michael Avenatti.
Starting point is 00:08:59 No, no, no, no, it's his primary to lose. All right, I think you're a two. Cool. Yeah, agree. If you knew about it before RFK pushed back, then you're two. Cool. Yeah, agree. If you knew about it before RFK pushed back, then you would have been like a four or five. RFK is terminal though, that's terminally online. Yeah, oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:12 That is true. Big time, for sure. It's terminally online before the internet existed. Yeah, that's right. John, when were you two online this week? I was two online this week. I'm gonna show you two videos. I'm gonna show the first video twice. I'm going to show the first video twice.
Starting point is 00:09:25 I just want to just show you the first video. This is called Balkan Breakfast. Let's watch Balkan Breakfast. Is it Chicago style? And for those listening, here's what I love about it. So this is a, a, a man sitting at a table. He's got some kind of a gold chain, black t-shirt. So basically he's sitting in front of a pile
Starting point is 00:09:50 of different kinds of vegetables, a tomato, an onion, some kind of glass of beer juice, I don't know, it looks like juice maybe, and cheese in a bag. And maybe it could be Fanta, it does look Fanta color. And basically he's only using one hand, I should say. And he basically just kind of, it's like jazz. Like he grabs a bread, bites the bread,
Starting point is 00:10:12 eats half a tomato, grabs a cucumber, bites the cucumber. Takes some kind of like, what looks like a big pepper. Take a big bite of pepper. He hasn't stopped. And it's basically, and he doesn't stop for the entire video. Oh, he's using the other hand right now. Oh, the other hand came up for bread ripping.
Starting point is 00:10:25 He never, he grabs cheese, grabs cheese. He never completes a bite, takes a big piece of a tomato, half a third of a tomato, gone, gone. He's not even chewing it. He's just swallowing it. His mouth is always, oh my God, a whole kind of pepper goes in or it looks like maybe another pepper all the way down.
Starting point is 00:10:44 So this was said, this was described in the video whole kind of pepper goes in or it looks like maybe a green, no, there, pepper, all the way down. So this was described in the video as Balkan breakfast. Created a whole world in my mind. And here's what I didn't know about Balkan breakfast. I know the Balkan region. I actually realized I didn't know technically the bounds of the Balkan region. I know when I think of the Balkans, my mind goes to 1990s geopolitics.
Starting point is 00:11:10 So I think I think of Serbia, I think of Macedonia, I think of Albania, I think of Bosnia and Herzegovina. Like, I think of that region, I don't know what the boundaries are. I also didn't know what Balkan breakfast was. I assumed it meant the food, right? Like the kinds of food. And I thought, oh, is that like a Balkan breakfast, which would be in some part of the Balkan region?
Starting point is 00:11:32 You just have a bunch of tomato and vegetables and a piece of cheese and a piece of bread, and you kind of make something out of that and eat it all together. Come to discover with some light searching that it's also the style and speed of consumption. Can we watch the next video? I fucking love this topic.
Starting point is 00:11:51 It's like a sweater. And here is another person eating in the same way, making the same facial expressions, doing the same thing, just housing this food. And there's other videos like this. You can search for Albanian breakfast or how Macedonian dads eat breakfast. Kierl, who's on our audio team said,
Starting point is 00:12:13 I have relatives that eat like that. And that is perhaps the extent of the deep dive that I did, right? And you can rate me however you want to rate me. But here's what I want you to understand as we go back to the first video. I have watched this, and can we please play it again? Five.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Hypnotizing. I have watched this so many times. It's because- I can't, the green peppers. I can't explain, and you should just, it's the amount he's eating, it's the fact that it never gets faster or slower, that no one bite is completed,
Starting point is 00:12:49 that basically his mouth is a place where a salad is being chopped at all times. Sometimes there's more tomato, sometimes more cucumber, sometimes more bean, sometimes more cheese, but he's going and going and going. And like the closest thing I can compare it to and the feeling you get is if you've ever listened to Philip Glass's music,
Starting point is 00:13:11 and the way it rises and falls, but never completes, that like you're constantly in this kind of rhythm and music where there's crescendos and there's highs and lows, but it stays in this one band. And the thing is, because it's TikTok, the video just starts again. If you're not paying close attention, you won't notice that you've gone back to the beginning.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And so in a sense, this man is always eating this breakfast. He's eating this breakfast in perpetuity, and I love it. That makes me feel safe. That makes me feel safe. That makes me feel comfortable to know that he's probably right now just having girl, like advanced girl dinner. It is advanced girl dinner. If you're listening on the audio,
Starting point is 00:13:54 the caption on there is like a Snapchat, like just like the band across, it just says, bro invited me to breakfast, and I can't get over the image of a man being like, come join me for breakfast, and then just- And then just- And then sing that. Eating in silence with just one hand.
Starting point is 00:14:08 So, it's so, he consumes so much food so quickly. Like it's in, it's, but like comfortably, like, like just like, like he does it all the time. It really is like a Tom and Jerry cartoon when they eat a fish and then out comes the fish skeleton bone. I love that. That is exactly what it is. Yeah, the listeners at home, if you watch that video three times, Beetlejuice just appears. We don't know why. It just keeps happening. You know, that's the way to eat. The best meals, in my opinion, are grazing fast over
Starting point is 00:14:38 a sink. Like those are when I'm like really happiest. I'm like a deep human animalistic level Those are when I'm really happy. I'm a deep human animalistic level is just shoveling a grazing pile of foods over a sink. Yeah, me with a Costco rotisserie chicken over a sink, game fucking over. Are you guys getting any of the content around people saying you can't eat the Costco chickens because of the oil and the plastic? Grow up. The microplastics. There's microplastics in everything.
Starting point is 00:15:05 We have a credit card in our blood flow at all times. It's making me stronger, baby. Us trying to circumvent microplastics, it's already done. We have credit cards. Are Costco chickens especially good? I've never been to Costco. Oh, they're famously good.
Starting point is 00:15:20 I could argue that a Sam's Club is better, but a Costco chicken is golden, baby. Do you have a membership? Journey's still out of microplastics. I've never been to Costco. I don't know. Costco, please sponsor me. I mean, this is...
Starting point is 00:15:39 It's like, this is the problem with the terminal mind scale. There are no problems with the terminal mind scale, but this is the kind of terminal I want to be. The topic is terminal. The research is not, but I don't think it needs to be in order to be a five. Does that make sense? I think how niche it is warrants five. The supplementary video also warrants five, the fact that he found out it's the style of eating. It's both. I think it's both. It is. It's very, also very opposite to like a, you know, cafe style of eating where we're all just taking our time.
Starting point is 00:16:13 We can take as much time as possible. They're like, we want this in our stomach as soon as possible. Yeah, there's also just something. There's a flip. One thing I also, it's part, one thing that also appealed to me about it too is it's just like, I feel like the further
Starting point is 00:16:26 men get away from their training, the training they receive from their mothers most likely, the more disgusting they become and the more feral. People call that childhood. Training. They're training. They're training. Yeah, they're training. Everyone wants to see someone house that much food. that's me at 3 a.m. eating Taco
Starting point is 00:16:47 Bell. Well, I just think it's like maybe there's a part of you that fights that instinct, right, Elijah? There's a part of you that's still fighting that instinct to eat incredibly fast without chewing over a sink. But in time, the strictures of society will no longer bind you. You'll just become yet another embarrassing man. And you're just on that path. We all are.
Starting point is 00:17:13 We all are. These are content babadook. Yeah, nothing's better. The lonely podcaster frees his mind at night over a thing. You just want to be in a position where you're eating food really fast and you breathe through your nose while you continue to eat. Oh, that's the best feeling. Where you're just taking bites and you go...
Starting point is 00:17:28 Yeah, that's the best feeling. That's what it's good. Look, I think this is like, this is where this gets to a five is if you're listening to the show with friends and you go out to, you know, you have little charcuterie boards Sunday brunch, she knows what you're doing. And you just blurt out, Balkan dad breakfast. Like, everyone's like, what are you talking about? I'm gonna start saying, I'm gonna start saying,
Starting point is 00:17:51 I'm gonna Balkan breakfast the fuck out of this meal. That's good, that's good. I'm just giving you the five, I love it. I love it. Tommy, what were you two on line this week? Yay, I wanna tell you guys a little story about Tucker Carlson and a demon. Let's watch.
Starting point is 00:18:07 Sick. Right wing goes. I'm a demon. A sexy demon. And I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs in the bed and mauled. Four dogs? Physically mauled. In a spiritual attack by a demon? Yeah, by a demon.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Or by something unseen that left... Is that right? Claw marks on my sides, on my... So it left physical marks. Oh, they're still there. Yeah, yeah. Show them! A year and a half ago. Was your wife terrified? I know you were.
Starting point is 00:18:37 I wasn't. I was totally confused. I woke up and I couldn't breathe. And I thought I was going to suffocate. And I walked around outside. And then I walked in and my wife and dogs had not woken up, and they're very light sleepers. And then I had these terrible pains on my rib cage and on my shoulder, and I was just in my boxer shorts,
Starting point is 00:18:54 and I went and flipped on the light in the bathroom. We don't need that. Four claw marks on either side underneath my arms, and on my left shoulder. Fully erect. Yeah, right. Wait, they're bleeding. They're bleeding, yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:07 No, no, actual call marks. Okay, so that's Tucker Carlson. He is out in the woods talking to a guy. There's B-roll of him shooting guns. There's dogs barking in the background. The guy he is talking to here is the person who made his January 6 documentary, Patriot Purge. I don't know if you guys remember that.
Starting point is 00:19:26 It was the one that said Jan 6 was a set up by Antifa, the FBI, the deep states, other libs. So I just wanna talk through with you all some possible explanations for what happened with Tucker. Because it definitely happened? Because it definitely happened. I guess if I woke up out of a deep sleep in my bed with my four dogs and I had claw marks on me,
Starting point is 00:19:52 I might assume I got scratched by my dog. Yeah, 100%. I thought for a second that I was like, oh wait, he dreamt that there were dogs and no, he had four dogs in the bed. Four dogs. It's like dogs in a bed. He's like, oh, the dogs were their lights, the light sleeping, like maybe they
Starting point is 00:20:07 went back to sleep. That's what the liberal, our secret liberal left-wing should be. It's just like release the dogs at night. Get them. Also subtopic documentaries, right wing or left wing now these days? See now that is. Kind of right wing. I think they're right wing. I think they went days? See, now that is...
Starting point is 00:20:25 Kind of right wing. I think they're right wing. I think they went right wing. See, now that should be added. I am now gonna think of a list and I will come back with it of like actual activities. Next week's TO. Yes, that's me, baby. So what is the-
Starting point is 00:20:39 Errol Morrill, get your fucking heart out, buddy. What's the context? Why was he talking to this guy? Like he was like, here's my ghost story. You know, you've really plummed further down the road to right wing ghosts. I don't know why he was talking to this guy. I saw it on Twitter, if I'm being honest. I did wonder though, if he was experiencing sleep paralysis, which sometimes includes
Starting point is 00:21:01 hallucinations commonly referred to as paralysis demons. Yeah. There's usually a person at the bottom of the bed. A lot of people allegorically will call it the man in the hat. Oh, no. So I looked up a bunch of- The Spanish man. There's a bunch of cultural references to night demons all over the world. So in North America, it was called the night hag or the old hag, which is what Elijah's wife calls him as a pet name. Yep. In Japan.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Because, and guess what? Elijah hates women for the people in the back. Keep going. How do you guys know that? It's the hag house. That's where we live. That's the hag house. You call it, your son is also a hag. Yeah, everyone's a hag. Everyone's a hag. It's a great sitcom idea. Hacks for everyone.
Starting point is 00:21:45 In Japan, they're called kanashi bari, which translates to bound or fastened in metal. I guess in Japanese folklore, your paralysis demon is like an angry ghost. You have unresolved beef, so they hold you down and they mess with you. In the Middle East, they're called jinn. They're supernatural beings made of smokeless fire. They can control you or possess you. In Brazil, Pissadeira, it's an old woman with long fingernails who jumps on victims. Scandinavian, they call them Mara. That's where nightmare comes from. Tanzania,
Starting point is 00:22:16 it's Papawa, which is a bat winged creature. Anyway, I'll spare you more. There's dozens more of these things. Okay. That's great. I don't know. I thought it was pretty interesting. Maybe you was having sleep paralysis and apparently that comes when you are sleep deprived, stressed or having some sort of mental health issue. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Have you guys? Yes. Yes. I get hallucinations from narcolepsy. Ooh, okay. So it was when I was in New York, I was working four jobs. I would get sleep paralysis all the time and I would be sleeping underneath a weighted blanket.
Starting point is 00:22:46 And basically the feeling is that you're awake, but you can't move your body and you genuinely, you have to coach yourself and be like, move your arm, move your arm, move your arm. But at the same time, you're also having a panic attack because you're like, am I dying? Is this what it's like? And then I just thrash myself awake. I've never had the visitation. Like a lot of people always say like? And then I just thrash myself away. I've never had the visitation, like a lot of people always say like, oh, I would see the old hag, Elijah's. I have a counter hypothesis for Tommy about this. It didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Yeah, that's on my list. You can't say that there are scratch marks still there and not show the scratch marks. I'm also offended. He just left out every other time I've been sitting on his ceiling, staring down ready to scratch his face, just ignoring the work that women put in. No, but this, exactly. There's like a 1% chance this didn't happen.
Starting point is 00:23:39 And I think we need to entertain that possibility. Absolutely. I think this was also a 1% chance that he's fucking a sleep demon. Yeah. And it's an ongoing thing. That's fine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:50 And this is how you rationalize it. Well, someone has to. And so demon it is. So only one that will fuck talk. Exactly. It's certainly that the guy who was interviewing him wasn't like, can I see the marks? Right.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Like, come on. The other thing is that's very funny about this video is later him wasn't like, can I see the marks? Right. Like, come on. The other thing is that's very funny about this video is later the guy's like, well, could it have been like your wife or your dogs? And Tucker Carlson's like, no, my arms were at my side. So it couldn't have been them. But the implication is like, yeah. That makes no sense.
Starting point is 00:24:17 It's like the demon can get through your arms. Like you stupid interviewer. And so can your wife. Like the dogs, the dogs can't cut through your arms. The demon can though. So that's just- His wife doesn't even have arms. I also want to entertain the theory that-
Starting point is 00:24:32 Famously so. I also want to maybe just entertain the theory that Tucker has been having a many year long psychotic break. Yes. And this is a piece of that puzzle. Yes, yeah, for sure. Because there was another, there was a long Wall Street Journal story about him a few months back that talked about an incident He recounted to this reporter where he was having a dinner
Starting point is 00:24:51 He was hosting former like top US national security people and someone told him some like thing about the CIA killing American citizens And he said he was so shocked That he then collapsed on his front porch two of his vertebrae had caved in and he had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery. So it sounds like the guy's having some issues. Some issues. All of his fishing trips were just that. He just kept collapsing after hearing secrets.
Starting point is 00:25:18 That's right. The weight of the secrets is too much. That's great. This one's a little tough to judge for me for how online Tommy is. It's a deep dive into something that was going around, but I did see it. Dunphy, Kat, did you guys see this? Yes, but I'm not a good judge for this. I'm not on Twitter, but I did see it on Slack and that I was like, this is a true triumph.
Starting point is 00:25:43 So it's one of those weird moments like where we've all seen it, but this is very online. If you just were to go up to someone and be like, hey, Tucker Carlson, demons, scratches, you guys know what I'm talking about? It's a four, right? I think for it, yeah, four. For Tucker Carlson's Christmas episode, instead of interviewing Kevin Spacey from House of Cards. I think it should be his sleep paralysis, Stephen, and Kevin Spacey from House of Cards. I'm coming for a five today.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Okay. I want it. I want everyone to know that every day that Elijah and I have walked into the United Center, he turns around and looks at me and goes, you know what it smells like? And then I go, what? And he goes, content, baby. It's electric. It is thick in the air. What gives you hope?
Starting point is 00:26:26 Content. All right, so I'll bring the tweet. Kat, will you read this tweet for me? Because I saw it the other day. I'm worried there's some lingering tension between the Rizzler and Big Justice. Big Justice was taking petty shots at him left and right on the most poyo stream.
Starting point is 00:26:40 I hope this jealousy doesn't boil over. I would side with the Rizzler if it did. Who, John? 3.8 million views. I know who the Rizzler is. You know who the Rizzler is? Yeah. Okay. Great. Do you know who any of those people are? I think I know Rizzler, but I'm not sure. Kat, do you know who these people are? I think he might be the new Rizz King. Very vaguely, once again, I have been caught in the content trenches. My own content trenches. Okay. I may be confusing the Rizzler and the Rizz King you yeah You may be confusing the Rizzler with baby Gronk
Starting point is 00:27:10 Who Rizzed up Lidvie Dunne and is asked is he the Rizzler right a lot of people made that mistake No, you're not up on on okay new Rizzler. Who's the new Rizzler? Let me explain the characters in this drama So I'm gonna start wide because to get to the Rizzler, you first need to understand who big justice is. Big justice and his dad, AJ are a father son content duo. They're also known as the Costco guys because of their viral. We're cost Co guys video.
Starting point is 00:27:41 I'm going to skip this for the sake of time of the genre of we're blank people videos but I'm skipping it. Caroline Reston and I have one of we're bye girls. Driving by. They're awful. It hit a million views on each platform. Wait what are you saying? Caroline Reston had a we're bye girls. It hit a million views on each platform. Humble brag keep going thanks Elijah. So Big Justice and AJ are always expanding the circle of people and their content such as Big Justice's sister Ashley, cousin Angelo, Sally Slices, and many other people and creators, definitely creators, including the Rizler. Any questions before I get on to who the Rizler is? No, keep going. Okay, so I'll just clarify. There's the term Riz and then you say to your friend like, oh if you have a lot of Riz you may be
Starting point is 00:28:23 the Rizler. Now the Rizler here has become known as a child TikTok star in his own right. His whole shtick is he eats a lot of food. He's like a bigger kid. And his name is the Rizler because he has a good Riz face, which is like the Chad face, like the I'm making the face right now. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Yeah, it's the DreamWorks. It's like a big cartoon snail. Yep. He makes a good Riz face. Spot on. People love the Riz face. Lastly, there's the Los Poyos stream, which is just the least important player here. Los Poyos is just an influencer that was doing a stream with AJ, Big Justice, and the Rizler. Because they're doing a lot of collabs right now.
Starting point is 00:29:03 And to be clear, Big Justice is the adult. No, Big Justice is the son. AJ is the adult. Yeah. How old is the son? They're probably like seven to eight years old each. Oh no! And they're very Italian American. No, too young!
Starting point is 00:29:18 My people. Yeah. No thank you! I guess I'll do these hands. The thing to know about AJ and Big Justice's content is that it's really bad. It's really, really bad. I've seen people refer to it as non-ten, which is a great term in my opinion. I've never heard that.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I love it. Yes. It's just like them, they have this phrase, we bring the boom, and half of their content is them just singing, we bring the boom, and it just cuts to someone else in their circle. So it's be like, Sally slices, we bring the boom, cousin Angela, we bring the boom, Ashley sister of big justice, we bring the boom. It's very reductive. The point is, there's now a meme.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Oh my God. To really overreact and read into every little micro-social interaction that happens in the big justice AJ universe. And that's what the original tweet was. Okay, yeah, so you're five. Five. Right, okay. You're fucking insane. That is, I honestly, I don't know what a six would be.
Starting point is 00:30:21 Yeah, but it would be that. It would be that. I think so. That is the most depressing world that I've been introduced to on this show over the course of the last year we've been doing it. Damn. Every detail is a little darker. Like AJ the Dad was a former professional wrestler who failed as a professional wrestler. I really dislike kids being part of the world of YouTube and streaming, I hate it. Really uncomfortable. They usually never see any of that money.
Starting point is 00:30:53 It's just, it cannot be good for anybody. These kids cannot consent to being part of this. They can't understand the consequences for their future for being part of this. It's not right. It's just none of it's right. Yuck. you're dead. Anyone disagree? I'm terminal?
Starting point is 00:31:10 I, no. Do you guys have any questions about the Rizzler? No. Do you? Wait, what were the petty shots that were being taken? Great question, Kat. Thank you. So for instance, you know, Rizzler's always eating,
Starting point is 00:31:22 he's eating some ice cream on the Los Pollo stream. And he takes a bite and he says, bro, this is the best ice cream I've ever had. To which Big Justice says, you literally said that last night and the night before, and the Rizzler shoots him a look like. And you can just tell, like, the Rizzler is getting ready to fucking snap. How old is the Rizler? Seven days I don't ever want to see it's all seven years old
Starting point is 00:31:57 Nice graphics package watch your fucking TV show. What are you doing? Dude, he's a dad. He doesn't have time to watch his TV show. How are you watching this? Why are you consuming this? Okay, listen, liberal elite, succession watcher, HBO Sunday night. American pastoral. This is Yellowstone. This is what real America is watching.
Starting point is 00:32:15 This is Yellowstone? Yeah. Is this what Yellowstone is? Go ahead and poopoo it. Yellowstone is Yellowstone. Are you watching Yellowstone? This is also Yellowstone. I'm not up on Yellowstone.
Starting point is 00:32:23 It's kind of a Devois show. But you're not watching Yellowstone. You're watching this. This is a Devois show. There's elite media'm not up on Yellowstone. It's kind of a boy show. It's a boy show. There's elite media and not elite media. And you consume elite media. I know. Sorry, are you guys trying to talk while we're having a thing? I just think we could have a sub podcast and a sub podcast.
Starting point is 00:32:35 No, keep going. No, what were you guys talking about? Let's have a sub podcast where you just shit on men's media. Just like Yellowstone, that's such a boy show. Such a boy show. This is the point I was making about y'all underestimating Trump and like going on Theo Vaughn right now is in your little bubble. Little bubble.
Starting point is 00:32:48 And you don't understand that this is real America. The average voter has an opinion about the Rizzler in Big Justice. I need to know. How many views does it... Oh wow. That is a lot of... That kid does have a great dream work space. But no, you should be shot out of a cannon for even telling us about this.
Starting point is 00:33:04 None of us should know it. It's the fucking ring. I thought I knew something about it. I knew nothing. I knew nothing. I was confusing Rizzler and Rizzking. Me too. Well, you know.
Starting point is 00:33:12 There's a difference though. I know the Costco dad thing though. You know what? I think the reason you have to be a six, I think this is what a definition of a six is. Your case is so bad, it makes everyone else around you more or worse in terminal. I actually think that like, you telling us
Starting point is 00:33:28 that it's contagious. I think this needs to be a new category, which is basically dead, patient zero. You brought us into this world, and now our brains are a little bit fucked up because we know that there's a seven-year-old eating ice cream being berated by big justice. So good job Elijah you made the world a world of ice. Sorry for doing the show. Sorry sorry for being terminally online. No it's good.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I'm bumming up to a six. Alright thank you. I'll accept. Six. That's all for today. If you enjoyed this episode and want more consider joining our Friends of the Pod community as a reminder we're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions for a limited time only. It's the best way to support the work we do at Crooked Media. Sign up today at crooked.com slash friends or through the Pod Save America feed on Apple podcasts. Thanks for listening and we'll see you when we get back. Oh Bye!

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