Lovett or Leave It - The Good, the Bat and the Ugly

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

George Santos bets against the house, Harvard Medical School pays an arm and a leg, and one woman’s literal nightmare leaves a bat taste in our mouths. This week, BenDeLaCreme and Gareth Reynolds open up the Lovett or Leave It advice line. I Don’t Care, I Lovett it lifts a glass to heels, hotel bathtubs, and Matthew Morrison's 9/11 infidelity cabaret. And then bob’s your uncle, it’s time to say goodbye with a round of Second Thoughts.Hate listening to ads? Become a Friends of the Pod subscriber for ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, Pod Save the World, Lovett or Leave It, Runaway Country, Offline with Jon Favreau, and more—plus exclusive content, including bonus episodes of Pod Save America. Subscribe now at crooked.com/friends, on Apple Podcasts, or through the Pod Save America YouTube channel.You can request a transcript by emailing [e-mail]. Include the podcast name, episode title, and air date. Please allow 48 hours for delivery.

Love it or leave it It's love it or leave it Let's up Los Angeles Welcome to Love It or Leave It Live from Hollywood I'm John Love it. We got a great show for you tonight But first let's get into it What a week

The betting and male bankruptcy platform Kalshi instituted its first ever Lifetime ban Against former GOP congressman George Santos Which is crazy because Kalshi was invented by George Santos Said George Santos Santos

made at least $17,000 by betting against his own attendance at the State of the Union after posting that he was planning to be there, and then not showing up. But can you blame him for giving in to the overwhelming temptation? With that kind of money, he could buy a used Kia Soul hatchback.

According to a notice from the FDA, more than 10,000 cases of Hodo brand tofu have been recalled due to possible ink contamination. I don't see the problem. Sure, the tofu tastes like ink, but at least it tastes like something. got them. A forested island, the size of two football fields, reportedly appeared, then disappeared in British Columbia's largest lake last month.

BC Hydro says it can't pinpoint the island's origins, and they don't know where it's ended up either. They say the island can no longer be seen via satellite. Said Trump, how do we do that to Epstein's island? In Snickers news, Snickers launched a digital Snickers. that customers can feed to an AI model when it replies with incorrect information, in case it's still hungry after all those rare books. This will be perfect the next time chat GPT gives a teenager factually inaccurate information on how to kill himself.

Said the candy company, whether it's a person losing their cool or an AI chatbot consistently agreeing with you, the truth hasn't changed. When you're not acting like yourself, you may need a Snickers. Hey, Snickers, fuck you. And here's why. You did it. You won candy bars. It's an annuity.

At our office, we have big bags of mini candy bars. And without fail, every bag ends the same way. You're digging through Milky Ways and Three Musketeers to find the last Snickers. So have some gratitude. You show up at work at 11. You say, let's keep making snickers in all the sizes. And everybody in the meeting applauds. You let some ad buyer take you to a two-hour lunch.

You drive home a little bit drunk. You argue with your wife or husband. about your kitchen reno and whether to pull your daughter from private school because she's the only kid in her class not on Vivance. And then you take $10 million of candy profits. You pay Andy Circus to put on a green suit covered in little dots and have him say, I just don't feel like myself till I've out of Snickers. Then you air it during the most popular shows we have, football and murder trials.

And then you get back to complaining about how you never take the boat out anymore. And maybe this weekend it would be nice to spend some quality time with your son who you're worried about ever since you saw that his phone background was, Luigi Mangione, all before you approve the latest innovation. Snickers, but this time they're fucking round. So shut up and make the candy bars and leave AI out of it. In bat news, a Virginia woman says she woke up on a recent morning to discover a bat crawling inside of her mouth. Some people have all the luck, muttered Health and Human Services Secretary R. F.K. Jr. Dr. Krista Edelman told the press she woke up from a dream that a cute little field mouse was

shimmying its way past her lips, only to reach up and pull out an actual bat, responded the bat, so when you thought I was a mouse, you were fine with it? Imagine having a dream where a mouse is trying to force its way into your mouth and waking up to a reality that is worse, said Dr. Edelman. I screamed, and I was screaming repeatedly something to the extent of like, there's a bat in my mouth, the bat was trying to get in my mouth. Her husband replied, I can't understand you, say it again slowly, without a bat in your mouth.

The bat was later tested for rabies, and fortunately, the test came back negative. Good news, you won't die of rabies. Bad news, you'll live a long, healthy life haunted by the memory of the bat in your mouth. In other rabies news, three baby goats that were part of a traveling petting zoo in North Carolina have tested positive for rabies.

Uh-oh, said Health and Human Services, Secretary RFK Jr., a tiny hoof dangling from his lips. Prior to being tested, the goats visited an assisted living facility, a back-to-school event, and a nine-year-old's birthday party. They may have tested positive for rabies, but they've also tested positive for having an amazing summer. Fortunately, the theme of that child's birthday party was rabies, so it all worked out.

In other grim medical news, a judge ruled that Harvard Medical School must pay a $53 million settlement over body parts stolen and sold on the black market by the school's former morgue manager. Great. So now I'm going to buy my black market human organs from Yale. Scientists attending the American Chemical Society's small meeting presented the latest in plastic recycling technology, plastic cookies.

But we already have those. They're called chewy chips a hoi. Let's face facts. We love them. They do taste weird. It is the weirdest tape. We all know the flavor of chewy chips a hoy. It doesn't make any sense.

We should not eat them. What is that flavor? Why have we all accepted? Oh, that's the cookie we love that tastes like chemicals. And is soft by the power of the devil. Using a 32-step process, researchers say they use a modified yeast to convert plastic into a vanilla-flavored edible protein, which can then be 3D printed into cookie molds.

Try one, said the scientist, trying to act normal, leaning forward as you place the cookie in your mouth and then vaguely cringing as you take your first tentative bite. Good, right? And you feel fine, added the scientist. mock it all you want, but this is a safe and sustainable way to free up more water and electricity for data centers. The nation's first and only jellyfish museum opened in Florida this summer,

though personally, if I wanted to spend a few hours looking at a dazzling array of invertebrates, I'd just turn on C-SPAN. Yeah, sure. Scrooge director, Ty West, said his take on Ebenezer Scrooge, played by Johnny Dapp, will explore the gray area in a Christmas carol's depiction of the bitter miser. West explained that Ebenezer Scrooge is not perfect,

but much of the blame for what went down rests squarely with Amber Hurd. Zoom, the popular video conferencing app, has appointed a former Oracle CEO to its board of directors. That man's name, and this is real, Jeffrey E. Epstein. But what were they supposed to do? Not appoint a qualified man just because his name is Jeffrey Epstein? Yes. The E stands for, yeah, it's Jeffrey Epstein.

No, thank God. No, thank God they added that middle initial. Surely the Jeffrey Epstein we were thinking of didn't also have a middle name that also starts with E. Oh, no. And finally, a truck carrying 50,000 cans of PBR was stolen from outside an Anheuser-Busch distribution center last month. That's roughly 20 pallets of beer.

or as Pete Heggseth calls it, breakfast. All right, we've got a great show for you tonight. Ben Delacrem and Gailette Reynolds are here, and we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Lover to Leave It is brought you by Bombas. I love Bombas. Summer may be winding down, but we're still outdoors all the time.

Bombs makes the comfiest summer staples so you can make the most out of all your summer plants. They've got a whole line of pro-level sports-specific socks for golf, yoga, the gym, and for every kind of runner. Plus, they're airy, sweat-wicking. and your feet will feel good at the end of the day, as they did at the start. They make the best soft and supported compression socks. They're perfect for all your summer travel and actually look amazing without the hospital vibes.

Compression socks normally give off. And for every item you purchase, an essential clothing item is donated to someone facing housing insecurity. One purchase equals one donated with over 200 million donations and counting. I love bombas. I wear them basically every day. I have the vintage athletic socks, vintage design athletic socks. They're super comfortable. They've lasted forever.

They're just, they're perfect. They just fit really, really well. Like, if I'm running, like, I'll put them on and I'll just, like, run five miles, and they're just, they're just great socks. If I ever wear them out, which I haven't yet been able to do, I'm just going to replace them. I'm Team Bombas all the way. Head on over to bombus.com slash love it and use code love it for 20% off your first purchase. That's BOMBAS.com slash love it.

Code love it at checkout. Love it or leave it is brought you by Hymns. Losing weight is one thing, but feeling your best this summer, that's the real goal. That's why weight loss by Hems now offers access to the FDA-approved Wigovie pill and Wigovie Penn. Wegovi is designed to help you lose weight sustainably so you can show up this summer feeling like yourself. With Hymns, everything happens online. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine a treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door, no insurance necessary, and it doesn't stop there. Hems makes hitting your goals seamless by offering access to 24-7 messaging with your care team and in-app lifestyle and nutrition support like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more.

With a range of affordable GLP1 options, HIMS makes it simple to find a weight loss approach that fits into your world and your wallet. If eligible, you'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. Ready to reach your goals, visit hymns.com slash love it to get a personalized affordable plan that gets you. That's hims.com slash love it. Hems.com slash love it. Weight loss by Hymns is not available in all 50 states. Wegovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information,

we go v. Clinical study information and restrictions, visit Hymns.com. And we're back. We'll have Gareth Reynolds and Bendella Kremme out in just a moment. But first, big announcement from us here at Crooked. The first episode of our brand new series is out tonight. Still Counting, hosted by our friends, Nate Silver, Gailen Drook, and Claire Malone. You might remember them as the data journalist behind 538. And with the midterms, just a few months away, we thought it was time to get them back on the air.

Each Wednesday evening, Nate, Claire, and Galen will dig into the latest in politics and polling to break down what's happening, why, and what we can reasonably infer about what could happen next. They'll cover everything from elections to betting markets, to AI with rigorous analysis and hot takes, but no spin or false sense of certainty. Subscribe to Still Counting wherever you get your podcast and on YouTube at Still Counting Podcasts. We are so excited that they've come to our network. It's great. We're so excited at the gangs back together. Everybody, do me a favor. Subscribe to Still Counting. And please welcome to the stage. Two of the biggest Divas I know. It's Ben De La Crem and Gareth Reynolds. Come on in.

Hello. And there's... It's nothing like feeling a stage buckle under you to make you feel dainty and late. No, stop it. There we go. There it is. Hi. Hi.

Lovely to see you both. You too. Great to see you as well. Now, let's get into it, John. Let's do it. Dela. Yes. It's officially pumpkin spice latte season.

Sure. Which means... Jinks and Dela holiday tour. is around the corner. How many years have you been doing it? This will be our ninth year doing this holiday tour. Ninth year. I know. I know. I look too young for that.

But it's, yeah, we started 2018. It was just like a little scrappy thing. I think we did eight cities. And it just grew real big. And now we're doing 36 shows across the U.S. and Canada in November and December. Wow. It's awesome. I'm excited.

I am too. Gareth. Yes, John. Did you ever hear from Jay, Leno about the impression you did on Pete Holmes' podcast because I see this, well, let's just show a clip because I do see this about twice a quarter.

I'm sorry. And Leno did those in like 1989. Yeah, I mean, what I mean, what I mean? What did? The Crunchy, the Critchie? The Little Chattageezy? I don't know. Yeah, it was like that. He's like, cool, ranch, what is that? Just a chill farmer? It goes on and on. That's sort of your thing.

That's what's great about what you did there. You cut me off. Great choice. It's very funny because Pete went to... Jay Leno was at a show, and Pete just asked him to start saying... Because I end up doing this whole thing about Isosceles, the triangles, and then Jay goes, I thought I'll leave... I can't do it again.

That'd be so hacky. I am learning from you now that this was the same appearance because I've also seen the Isaselis clip. Listen. It was inconceivable to me that you were just doing... Was that... Oh, yeah. No, that's not like a regular impression that I...

No, that's... I thought you were just all the time. Just you do a Leno thing. You bring different things to the table. That was one long thing. If it'll give me a thousand followers, I'll do it for the rest of my life. But we live in hell. But so Pete was at a show, and he, Jay Leno was there, and he filmed him.

It's really strange. He's filming Jay Leno and he's going, well, you say, I sawsales, I sauce all these, which is part of the riff there that for some reason you all left out. But so Jay, Jay's just sitting there. You're like, I saw all these? And Pete's going, say I sauce all these, I sauce all these. And Jay's going, I thoth all these. What if this?

I thought all these? I thought all these? And so there has been contact. But he still has no clue who I am, which I think is best. Wait, you have a movie. Yeah. And it's called Give It Up about a comedian who has to go back to stand up and is struggling to connect in a world where you have to break through on the internet.

Now, is there any way in which that was autobiographical? Or is it a... Or is it some more of a coincidence? In the movie, the Jay Leno impression is great. No. It's, yeah, very autobiographical. It's basically about the nightmare of the algorithm. And, again, I don't want to keep saying we live in hell.

But, you know, this kind of constant quest for likes and for everything we were talking about before, where you, you know, you just are constantly feeding this fucking algorithm to get likes and all these things. And it's sort of commentary on that, but we shot it all without really telling anyone we were shooting it. So I would be in comedy clubs, like, you know, doing little, like fake passing out and telling the audience, like, hey, I'm going to pass out, don't worry. Thankfully, my crowd doesn't care for me, so nobody was worried. But, yeah, that is a thing I've done. What do you, I mean, other than saying that we live in, like, we live in hell, fair enough, but here we are in hell. This is not hell.

I'm enjoying them. No, this is great. We're having a great time tonight. I'm having a great time. But, like, what is so bad about having to get people to pay attention by doing the kinds of things that will break through online? Like, what is the problem? Well, I think it started great. It was a great plan to be, you know, it was like, hey, let's entertain each other.

That was a great start. But now this sort of constant, endless fighting for likes and having to post all the time if you're in entertainment. or, you know, entertainment's, the graying of entertainment, as well as, I'll be honest, the, we have to keep saying crazier shit, or we have to keep laughing harder. And at some point, I keep waiting for it, we're going to hear the drain start to, you know, be dry, and we're going to eventually find that we have nothing left.

I think that in a lot of ways the Trump podcasting thing is kind of a version of that, where it was sort of like, well, what are we going to do? We need to get more likes. We need to get more, you know, scandal and all that. And then so Trump had all these, you know, idiots podcasts. And that really resulted in sort of a weird pass for that to some extent. Yeah, it's like there's, well, you feel, I mean, just, you know, we put this show on YouTube, right? And you try to figure out, like, what is the title that will get people to click on it, right? And so you come up with more sensational titles to compete with the other sensational titles. but at the same time you want to, first of all,

you will ultimately train people to not believe what you're saying, right? There's so many channels where it's like, you know, it's over for Trump. You know, it's closing in. The walls have been closing in for quite some time. But then part of it also is trying to figure out, okay, this is the world. We want to make something people will like and will reach more people. So how do you have to figure out a way? You can throw your hands up, you have to figure out a way to do something you believe in,

that you think is good. but also that is in some way that is some way optimized to do well otherwise nobody's going to fucking see it and like I feel like that is that that is to me the challenge I agree and but also think of the thumbnails

I mean gotta think of the thumbnail culture is just those I can do I would imagine you'd be a thumbnail crusher yeah honestly it's it's kind of my special yeah for me to be like oh it's just like my soul leaves my body I can't believe this

Like hard to do. Yeah. Yeah. Dela. You met Jenks before Drag Race. I did, yes. Jinx and I, um, we met in Seattle a few years before either of us did Drag Race. Before and you, like, were you instantly hitting it off?

Was it, was it, uh, was it, uh, well, you know, it was one of those things where when two folks meet each other who do something as similar as what we do, and especially if those are people who have sort of historic. been, you know, as a drag queen, as a young person, when you're really like weird and feminine and whatever, there are only two narratives that you're a total freak and waste of space or that you're extremely special. And so when you meet another one, it's complicated. So there was immediately both recognition, admiration, and rival. and we had to kind of make some choices around that very quickly.

Like when Brad Pitt means Antonio Van deris and interviewed the vampire. Sure. And it's like, you know? It's exactly that. I'm far too young, sorry? Hey, maybe your hip remembers. Stop!

Don't do the hip thing! Actually, you know, I just realized as a 44-year-old and the zero-year-old hip, I am now on average 22. That's nice. Feel good about that. Now, Trini de Tuck was just on the show talking about how drag needs to be dirty and messy again. And that while we're fighting...

She would say that. While we're fighting for drag queens to read at the library, it's like, this is supposed to be messy and dirty and four adults. Where do you come down on this? You know, I think that to decide that drag comes from any one angle is to really underestimate the power of drag. I think that, yeah, 100%. I mean, drag is very often for adults.

Drag should not be, you know, in terms of all these conversations about kids, first of all, very few of us want to be around anybody's kids. Like, if I have the option to not be around kids on the sidewalk, I'll choose that, let alone at my own show. I say don't even let them into libraries. Thank you. That's the problem. Nobody's talking about.

Yeah, seriously, Drag Queen Reading Hour should really just be the queens. You know, so I think that, like, yes, absolutely, there is a very important element to keeping drag like dirty and letting it be all the things it can be. But also like queer kids deserve to see drag queens. Queer kids deserve to see that there are happy, happy successful adults that, you know, speak to their sensibilities.

You know, I didn't have that growing up. And look how I turned out. There was a conservative who said a while back, isn't it interesting that none of these, drag queens seem to want to read two adults. And it's like, bitch, adults can read. Not conservatives. Right, yeah, he's speaking.

To be fair. Speaking about his peers. Now, Gareth, you have a podcast with Jake Johnson called We're Here to Help. Correct. Are you ever anxious about giving advice because you'll seem like you have it too much together? Clearly, you don't listen to the show. The advice never portrays. either one of us as hinged in any way.

The problems are always pretty small town. We had one today where the woman called because her dentist in New York was giving a $2,000 off because it was a family friend for a root canal that she really needs. And then when he left her a voicemail, he was pissing.

And so he's peeing. He just is finishing his pee, but you can hear him pissing. And then he flushes it. And he's talking the whole time. He's like, but also don't worry about this. And then he washes his hands. And she was like, what I'm worried about is when I get the gas that I'm going to dave it at the dentist and just be like, I heard you piss.

And so, you know, we were trying to figure. So it's kind of that advice. Sure. It's sort of such a dumb world of problems that were just a couple of drunk uncles at the bar. So the stakes are low. Was she counting how long? he washed his hands? No.

I'll be honest, not long enough. But for $2,000 off, I mean, he could have pissed on his hands in my opinion. He could have pissed in my mouth if I'm being honest. I mean, I'm going to be quite honest. And spit. Yeah. It's, I feel like the, yeah, I wonder what your advice would have been in that? Because he's like, who cares if you tell him that?

He's the one who pissed. You don't feel bad about telling him, so. Well, but it's important to them. So that's where our empathy comes into. Wow. So they say what the problem is, and we'll pitch in that direction. So what we're going to do is we're going to record 90 minutes of, like, a show for her specifically to put in the AirPods and we'll kind of be distracting her the whole time. And she'll just say, I've got to listen to something because of the pain.

And then we'll just be talking the whole time. We called it a tooth athon, like a telethon. Like a toothathon. That's a tooth athon. Titha Thotha. It's a clothea. It's a clothec. It's a tooth thothal.

It's a tithal. Now, Gareth. Yes, Jim. You told our producer something interesting. Uh-oh. which is you can immediately identify someone if they're British at a glance. I believe I have this talent.

I believe I have this talent because my parents are English immigrants, sorry, and I believe that there's just many times where I'll walk by someone and I'll be like, that's a Brit. But you don't know. That's what's so exciting about the things that you're saying right now to me.

Yeah, we're going to find out. The lack of confirmation is what makes you feel good at it? Hearing it now, that's potentially a flaw in all of this, yeah, that I don't know for sure. Dale, what are your thoughts on the British as a member of the LGBTQ community? You can be honest. I mean, the two are one and the same, aren't they? Should they be allowed to read to children as a gosh?

Should British people be allowed to read to children is an important question that's not being asked? That is an important, yeah, no, I would say that I am very curious to hear your parameters for identifying British people, because I feel like they're the same as Gaydar. Very likely. So that the interesting. Now, so what do I have?

I have Britdar. Is that what I have? Yeah, I think it's called Britar. The mouth is a big player in it and the general face. Like the general, like, hmm, they're like more kind of a Sherlockian face. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know what happened. I think whatever those strong,

kind of features. Whatever happened when the Saxons came in and the Anglo, whatever happened in there, that kind of became, and I'm just going to say it, there was some inbreeding along the way, some smaller villages, it's pronounced features, they softened on the crossing. So I do think that's probably

part of it. So you know what I mean? So there's a kind of severness to the faces that's interesting from all the, I think from all the the beans. You can weigh in, it doesn't offend me. Yeah, no, I suppose that's not the homosexual part. Although we do have severe faces, but sort of in a different direction. Yeah, no, I guess it's just the general Britishness of one being late in one's loafers, etc.

The sort of pip-p-p-chirio of it all feels pretty gay to me. Yeah, Pip-P-chirio is kind of the... And they do say that a lot. A lot of it. Yeah, they're flying around with their goddamn umbrellas all over the town. It's like half the language. Woo! A lot of that. There's one.

There's one. I'm allowed to say that. I am. And you know what? sound means it's time for game we're calling brothers from another queen mother we're going to show you a person you will tell us gut reaction is this person british or not some of them are some of them orange okay and we're going to start with an easy one do you want me just you do you do you can 100% british 100% british right are we both just weighing in together i mean you can

disagree if you like yeah that's sir jeffrey For Jeffrey Cox, conservative MP for Torridge and Tavistock. Ugh, wow, that is... I mean, it's quite obvious. Next up. MP for Torage is just... Some of these fucking names...

This doesn't feel real. I've been there. You've been to Torage? No, but I've been to England and I've never heard anyone say they're from Torridge. You've never been to Tabastock? No, no. I didn't even get there.

So you're suggesting that you know who's British, but you've never been to Torage or Travestok? Anyone who looks like he's swam. following six poached eggs hole. Is a Brit. All right, let's see who's up next. British or not? British or MAGA could be a fun game.

Yeah, oh yeah. You know what? Not enough work done, British. I kind of, it's, God, it could be Tennessee. It could be British. I'm going to go. Well, you were wrong on both. That felt very,

pushy. Not British. Correct. Oh, really? It's South Carolina Republican Congresswoman Sherry Biggs. You were close with Tennessee. Yes.

You were close with Tennessee. Yeah, it's the British blink. It's interesting. Having eyes like that in your last name, Biggs is unfair. What a strange thing, because obviously this is a still photo, but when you say she's not blinking,

I know what you meet you. You know what I mean? She's got like that shark blink where it's just like a little bit of gray goes over it, but the lids don't do anything. Yeah. Like that lizard thing. Next, photo.

The necklace is. It's going more maga. Yeah. The necklace made a teeth feels very British, but what do you think? I'm just going to keep playing the odds. If I keep saying British,

I think we're going to get there eventually. I think the little medallion screams Brit. I will say, I will agree and say Brit. Michigan Democrat Debbie Dingle. Debbie Dingle. That's right. Debbie Dingle. Next up.

Democrat Debbie Dingle. Democrat Debbie Dingell. I mean, that could not sound more like a porn you'd see in the 80s. You were watching porn in the 80s called... Do you think there's porn in the 80s called Democrat Debbie Dingell? That's very progressive for an 80s. Women in politics. Women in politics.

Next up. Come on. Go ahead. Come on. 100% British. I mean, look... Yeah, he's got a sunburn from his hair. That's British.

That is 100. That's just... That's me eventually. That's where I'm headed. No doubt. Yeah, no, yeah, for sure. Yeah, let's keep it for sure. Let's say, I'm just saying,

I think actually the eventually is doing a lot of work. Yeah, no, for... Can we get more wine? All right, that is Labor MP for North Durham, Luke Akehurst. Next up. First of all, this guy couldn't get his head

in the James Bond circle. Not a good start. for old bubble boy. It's close. It's close. Again, I feel like we could be teetering on Southern here. Yeah, you know, I'm going that route.

I am too. We're saying not. I'm saying not British. Correct. It's Illinois, Democratic Congressman, Mike Quigley. Look at him. That was okay. It's okay.

One more? Yeah. And you both have won the game. You can tell the Brits. Wow. Thank you to Ben Della Kremant. Go to jingsendala.com for tour dates. I'm excited.

I'm going to go to that show. I'm coming. And your book, Jinks and Dela, How the Queens May Christmas, is out on October 20th, and you can see Gareth on Garethrenolds.com for tickets and go to give itup film.com for info on give it up. We're right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It is brought you by Simply Safe.

Today's savvy burglars aren't deterred by traditional home security systems. They know that even if they trigger your alarm, they still have time to grab what they want and go. Simply Safe is different. They stop break-ins before they start. Unlike traditional security systems that only alert you out, after a break-in is already underway. Simpli-safe is designed to help stop intruders before they get inside. AI-powered cameras detect suspicious activity at the perimeter.

And alert live U.S.-based agents. SimplyS. agents assess the threat. Intervene, speak with the camera to scare off intruders, and call for 911 dispatch. Our CEO had Simply Save installed in her home. Insulation was quick and easy, and the system was up and running in no time. The app is easy to use. She can arm and disarm the system and check the cameras all from her phone. All of the components have worked smoothly since day one.

the family now has total peace of mind knowing they are protected by SimpliSafe. Right now you can get 50% off a new Simplysafe system. Go to Simplysafe.com slash love it. That's Simpliceaf.com slash love it for 50% off. And when you order, please write and love it or leave it. And how did you hear about us survey to let them know that we sent you? Don't forget. There's no safe like SimpliSafe.

Love it or leave it is brought to you by SelectQuote. We all know we need it. But then we put it off because we think it's complicated or expensive or that will live forever. Stop telling yourself. You'll handle it later and take care of it today with Select Quote. In 15 minutes, you could have, coverage that fits your life and budget. Here's what makes select quote different.

Their license insurance agents work for you, not for one insurance company. They compare options across multiple carriers to find you the right coverage at the lowest price. They've been doing this for nearly 40 years and have helped over 2 million people find coverage. Even if you have health issues, they can help high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease. Their agents know which carriers will give you the best rate for your specific situation. If you're healthy, they can get you same day coverage with no medical exam.

Other brokers push policies that pay them the most. Select quotes agents actually shop for you. Select quote, they shop, you say. Don't put it up any longer. See for yourself how easy getting life insurance can be with SelectQuote. Get the right life insurance for you for less at SelectQuote.com slash Love It. Go to SelectQuote.com slash Love It today to get started. And we're back.

Gareth, you give a lot of advice on your podcast, but not necessarily good advice. Dela, do you think you give good advice? No, no, no, no, no. Perfect. Well, we're inspired by we're here to help. And so we've collected questions from our audience to ask you both. segment we're calling, we're career to help, parentheses, Gareth is not gay,

FYI. You don't know that. Are you gay? No. I'm British. Interesting. Interesting. A lot to think about. That's the British thing.

Can't wait to see what this no homo game is all about. These are questions from our friends of the pod, Discord users, and as a reminder, go to cricket.com friends to join the community. All right. Let's see what we have. First up, a friend of the pod named John has a question. Hey, everybody. My name is John calling for Love It or Leave It. And my issue is I'm a very cheap guy. And I have a really hard time getting rid of things I've spent money on. But now I have a bunch of clothes that I really need to get out of my life because they're making my life worse.

How do you advise someone who needs help getting rid of stuff they don't use anymore? Thank you and have a great show. How do you think his clothes are making his life worse? Yeah, that is... What are they doing to him? What can we extrapolate from that? Taking up space? Oh, that really seems like he's overreacting.

He's trying to declutter. He's trying to only keep things that spark joy. Are you a pack rat, Gareth? I guess a little bit, you know. I still have like clothes from. from my sketch comedy days where I'm like, someday someone's going to ask me

to reprise my role as a Scotsman. And it's sad. So I'm probably not the best person to advise. Here's what I would say. I would say, well, do you have advice to,

I mean, you have... Oh, no, I still have clothes in case I return to a size 8 at 45, yeah. Keep the hip out. What I would say is, why not lay them out, have a bunch of people come over,

and let them weigh in and vote, and let's say you get rid of 30 items, and then you almost seen your dog them, where you wear them out one last time over the course of a month, and then you go donate them all. So you have one last run, because maybe something does spark joy when you're out at the bar

or something. Right. So I was talking about this idea for a party, or like an event, and it would be called everybody wins the lottery. Okay. And here's what you do. Everybody fills out a lottery ballot. What are they called? Ticket. And with all your numbers, and you have to, this is part of it, on your way to the party, the night of the drawing, you have to go to the 7-Eleven or wherever you could buy a lotto ticket. You show the cashier the ticket you would have bought, and you say, but I'm not buying it. And then

you go to the party. And everybody watches the results, and you just pray your numbers don't come in. Because if you hit all your numbers, oh my God, I would have won the lottery. And so as you're watching the numbers, you're like, oh, my God, I got one. Oh, my God, I got a second. And then you miss the third. You're like, fuck, yeah. I didn't win the lottery tonight. This is amazing.

And you give yourself the feeling of winning the lottery by losing the lottery. And what's great about this plan is you always lose the lottery. So in this game, you always win. The reason I bring this up is because what if you do this, you take all your clothes out of your house. Everything on the lawn. it all out on the lawn. And then, one by one, you have to physically put a shirt on and say, I'm keeping it and walk it back into the house. So it's not about what do I get rid of. You reverse it. You have to physically decide what to save. I like that. What do you think about my lotto idea?

A lotto idea, I'm not sure about it. What I like about your sort of, what if you did a rummage sale and any item that someone else is going to buy, you decide you're keeping that one. Oh, I like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just think your choice is out of spite. This is $15. You're like, it's not for sale. Yeah, it's cool. You can only do it once, though.

Yeah, it's true. You can only do it once. Yeah, you may just wind up keeping everything. Let's see, oh, let's see what our next. Who's next? Let's see what's next. Hello, love it or leave it. So I've recently come out as transom binary.

And I was wondering, how do you kind of work with, I guess, like, gender expression. and being more confident in your own body, as well as expressing yourself. And yeah. Well, it's a beautiful question. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. You seem like the right person to answer that. I'll handle this.

As a Brit. Yeah, as a Brit. So, yeah, I don't know how to, I don't have the inability to answer that. I don't feel comfortable in this current form before we've even gone to gender, is what I was going to say. How do you, how do you think about this? How do you identify?

I've never thought about it. Well, outside of these clothes, I am a cisgendered man. However, it's more complicated than that. You know, I think that... What I found is that all of the years of me being like a freaky young kid, feeling like the odd person out, whatever, feeling like everyone was looking down at me, I found out so many years later

that other people were looking at me being like, how did they have the confidence to be fully themselves? So I really think that at some point, if you are just embracing your own identity in that way, then that is the whole thing. It's just embracing the identity, walking through the world in that way, and eventually seeing that just your sort of act of doing that

is defiance and is incredibly strong. And I think that's where you kind of find the confidence in it. I don't know what you're going to do because your identity is not as subversive, really. That may be harder. Yeah. And then I look at someone like Gareth and I think, look at how he struggles to be a man. Yeah. Look at the effort and energy it takes just to try to perform whatever meager version of manhood this is.

Right? Like whatever, and like, yeah, let's technically say, let's just stipulate. Gareth, technically a man in the class. Legally a man. And, like, we would say that is, this is like, man, you're a man. I'm not saying you're not. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

But my God, the effort and challenge that you clearly face, just getting out of bed, putting on the pants. If I get out of bed. Right. And if there's pants. Yeah, right. And just, like, kind of walking through life, trying to kind of perform whatever it is, this is.

Just Doritos joke after Doritos joke. That's all it is. You know, so I think it's hard for everybody. The biggest skill I found out about is I can identify British people. I mean, it's been, you're getting robbed in an alley and you see this. You don't feel. security. You're like, the robber has backup. Or you're like, the trash is moving. Anyway, I thought your advice was very sweet. Thank you so much. Thanks. That was beautiful.

And hey, I'm sorry. I turned this all on, Gareth. We all are. And I'm really sorry. Hey, and I'm sorry. It's okay. Hey, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. It's okay. Let's, I think we have one more, a message from the Discord. Hey, fuckers. This is Donnie. Calling for Love It and or leave it with Gareth Reynolds. Hey, Gary. Hey, so I have ADHD and autism. My wife just got diagnosed with ADHD. Both my dogs have anxiety. One of them was diagnosed literally with what was called the autism for dogs, the dog version of autism. So I guess my question is, what do I do? What do I do? Boy, the ADHD really kicked in at the end there, didn't it?

Yeah, and honestly, the autism. It's a real wizard battle going on there. By the way, short clip coming through. Autism and ADHD. I agree with your doctors. I agree with your doctors. I think dogs are also like their owners. Yes.

You know, often, often kind of reflect the owners. What was Donnie's question? Yeah, what are we? He wants to know what he should do. With his dog? Just what he should do. Don't call the show unless you write the question down. What?

Am I missing something? Bill? His question is, what should I do? Oh, it's just about whether or not the dog, what should he do about the dog? Pretendally having... Oh, it does. The dog has autism. So what should we do about a dog with autism? I don't think... I think put it down.

Just wants to go... Give your dog favorite food. Show him or her or they, the train. and then say goodbye. Wow, that is very good advice. Obviously, it's very good advice. Yeah, I would think there's a little projection going on, so I would maybe seek a second opinion.

Some people just look at their dogs and they just think it has whatever they have. Like, my dog has erectile dysfunction. Because it drinks too much whiskey. Okay, you know? Yeah, yeah. Hey, hey, Gareth. You're okay, right?

Yeah, you're doing okay. Yeah, doing really good. Very good. Okay? Put the Leno clip on. Run it back. People love the Leno Cup. Get the Leno clip back in the...

I was trying to sit on this low-ass couch following this. All right, what you got next? I think I'm going to get in trouble for what I said about the dog, even though I'm obviously kidding. Which thing? Animal people are... But every once in a while I'll see a video of someone having one of those parties where they have one last celebration of their dog.

And then I do cry and hug my dog for a while. And then I propose to my now husband, if this happened, maybe we'll do a party like this for pundit. And then Ari, my husband will say, I don't like when you cry like this, you faggot. So is the question, what do I do? Hey, what do I do? I'll tell you, what?

John, did you just call your own show? We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Willey's Remedy. Want to de-stress ever a long day, but don't love the idea of a hangover tomorrow. Now you can have fun and relax without the regrets thanks to Willie's THC-infused social tonic. I love Willis.

It is my favorite. It is awesome. Willis is an alcohol alternative that actually works delivering an uplifting euphoric buzz. You can really feel with no negative side effects. Willis is a premium THC-infused social tonic. crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson, who is, as we all know, an expert in the cannabis space. Very few people could credibly call themselves a name you can trust in THC, but he is one of them. Truly, it's amazing. I can't believe I really am just a huge fan of it.

It just sort of answers all the ways in which sometimes I haven't really liked edibles or kind of put them aside for a long period of time. Now, like, once a week, I'll be like, you know what, it's going to be a Willie's night. It's so good. With only 15 calories and just three grams of sugar, this tonic gives you all the fun and relaxation. None of the regret. It comes in 5MG and 10 MG doses. I do the smaller. I did the 5MG bottle, and that's like basically a shot, like 1.5 ounces. And I usually just have like half of a shot and it's perfect.

It's a delicious blend of passion fruit, lemon, and lime. Enjoyes a shot over ice or mixed into your favorite mouthtail. This is not the edible that left you scarred in a mobile in college. Every bottle is third-party lab tasted for accurate dosage so you can trust and customize your experience. One shot helps you relax and unwind. Perfect for taking the edge off after work. Or it's great for socializing.

It makes good company even better. Willies is the number one THC-infused beverage in the U.S. with over 350,000 happy customers and one million plus bottle sold. Order now at drinkwillies.com and use code lolly, l-ol-I, drinkwillies.com, code L-O-L-L-L-I, for 20% off your first order, plus free shipping on orders over $95, or use the store locator to find willies on shelves near you, like your local total wine specs, ABC, or local liquor store. Drinkwillies.com, code lowly for 20% off. And we're back.

We all have our secret shames, our gilts. pleasure's the thing we enjoy that makes some people go, ew, you like that? Time to confess them all in a segment we're calling, I don't care, I love it. I love it. Terrific stuff. We'll each get 60 seconds on the clock to make an impassioned

offense of something that others might not support. I will go first today. I would like to talk about something which is, and this would be a bit strange, I saw on Wikipedia this morning, I read something, something that I could not believe. And here's what it was. Matthew Morrison from Glee was stuck

on the subway during the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in New York City. Morrison and the rest of the subway carriage spent hours underground as the world above them collapsed. After he got off the subway, he walked into his girlfriend's apartment and saw her in bed with another man. Morrison told her, you might want to turn on the TV and promptly walked out. And I thought, how is this on Wikipedia? How do we know this? Well, it turns out, Matthew Morrison hosted a show, which was a cabaret show about 9-11. The article goes on to describe Morrison's introduction to the show. Welcome to Rhythm and Revelations, a car wash for your soul.

In this show, I'm not just here to perform. I'm here to spark something within you. I want to leave you with a sense of inquiry, curiosity, and wonder about your own life. Many concerts entertained by I invite you to take a closer look inside. Again, he did a jazzical whimsy spin while explaining 9-11. and I just want to say I love it. Wow.

From Glee did a cabaret show about 9-11 I don't see how that's a hot take I don't know how else you could feel about that. I'm just saying like I don't know how smart the AI is going to get but it's never going to come up with that.

No. Hey, hey, Deila, what would you, what's something where you, that you know, what's yours? Well, you know, the, What's yours? What do I do? What do I do?

Well, the heels and the hip have really been on the mind lately because I did choose one over the other and, you know, is gender affirming care. And I really stay, I don't care how scuffed and old and ratty these pleasers get.

I don't care how ridiculous it looks to have a single toe, panty-hoed toe just shoved into an open-toeat, shoe. I will stand by this classic drag look forever. If it was good enough for Lady Bunny and Jackie Beat and Miss Piggy, then I think

that this is a classically beautiful look, and I don't care who says else. I agree. I agree. I agree. You know what I found out the other day? Wait. That 9-11 musical thing.

That horse legs, right? Yes, the knee is the toe or something crazy. Yes. That really what a horse hoof is, is the end of one finger. And that the reason they're so delicate is because they're just running on one finger and that everything else of the arm is up high. And so really what horse legs are are just four fucking fingers.

And at the end of the hoof is just the nail on one finger and all the other parts that are part of the, they're up there. They just withdrew and kind of evolved to be longer. And so a horse is running just on four fucking fingers. What? Yeah. And by the way, I think this is true. But it was from a video I saw on Instagram.

Oh no. I went down a real long hole. this one, it is true. These are facts. Because you know how they look like their knees are all bent backwards? Yeah. Not true.

That's the wrist or something. They're just on their fingers. They're just running around. They're just running out more on this. But that's why they're so delicate because it's like, imagine how fucked up your fingers would be if you were just running on your fucking fingers all the time, Garrett?

I wouldn't, well, yeah, I wouldn't lay down to sleep. That's for sure. It's, yeah. Don't do the logic comb thing through what I just said. It's not going to end great. I want you to know something. I skipped.

all the way over that to realize that you and I have the exact same understanding of why horses sleep standing up, which is Mr. Ed. Yep. Without question. I still believe they could talk. I think they can talk. That's how we know that finger thing, probably.

Yeah, that horse, like, I hate this. These are fingers. I'm sorry, John. I can't believe you. Do you, hey, he has the voice for Mr. Ed in there. Sure do. It's not a great skill. It's not been an applicable skill to my career until now.

Yeah, pick it out British people. The Jay Leno saying Dorito or whatever would be? No, I didn't know. This could be the new one. I just love the idea of you just on a stage somewhere in the Midwest being like, did somebody say Mr. Ed? No! I believe they did.

Shut up, Frank. You know, it's also, well, real quick, John, before we get into mine, I want to point out that John said that that Doritos clip pops up on his algorithm all the time, and yet I don't believe he's a follower of mine. I really... What? Are you not? I'll do it after.

See, that's what the movie's about, really. Is that him checking? What was that? John? John having a phantom phone is... Computer bring up algorithm. Gareth, take it away. Mine's not great considering the setup into this,

but I'll be honest, I travel a lot, I stay in a lot of hotels. The lettuce at the grocery store, we can't eat anymore. I took about two years off of bodies of water in the hotel. That includes the pool, the hot tub, and even the bathtub, and I'm back in. I'm doing the water in the water. the hotel again. I am swimming in the pool. I'm going in the hot tub, and I will clean the bathtub,

but I'll also take baths in it. Every time I explain this to anyone, it's met with great shame, and I'm sick of hiding, and I'm going to now say it. I'm in the pool, alone. I'm in the hot tub, hanging out for a while, and yes, I will be the guy who's taking a bath in a holiday inn. I'll just tell you something. I'm sick. I mean, I just, I'm sorry, and this is, when I think of a bathtub in a hotel that I would even consider using, it's a separate standalone bathtub in a fancy hotel. And even then, I almost certainly won't.

Those, bailing me in those. I'm home aloning. Right. But you're talking about the step-in shower bathtub, that foot after foot after horrible foot. these are these are people that have what I would call other people's toes like a horse yeah but like other people's like toes

we all see other people's toes can be fucking anything toes can look like anything in the world there's there's a lot of studies yes I would love to follow that there's a lot of studies that say that you could get quite sick from doing what I'm doing really yes but RFK is in charge of health

So I'm leaning in. So I will, and I'm telling you, I will take a disinfect, I'll take a little Clorox thing, and I will go around the tub, but most people don't seem to think that's enough. And I will be bathing in those tubs. And not just the fancy separate ones. I'm talking foot tubs.

Foot tubs. Tubs shower, the foot, just people. Just people traveling, they're just coming late. Sometimes I'll just put a towel in the shower and fill it, and I'll just slosh around like a fish at the end of the faith no more. video. I don't care if no one gets it.

Well, that's beautiful, and that's what the segment's all about. I feel fatter, but lighter. Thank you. And we'll be right back. Well, we've done it. One for the history books, but there's a whole lot of footnotes on this show, at least according to my producers. That's right. It's time for second thoughts.

Garrett and Dela, I have a list of things that the producers believe I should have done differently or better. and I'm going to share the places where they believe I should have some regrets. If you have any regrets about this evening, this is a place to share them. First up, these jokes about suicide. Boy, they don't work, do they? I told Garrett that going on and on is sort of your thing. I remember, yeah.

But if it wasn't so, I think you're fine. I think if it wasn't accurate, you could have regrets. I didn't give Dale. Let me get into it. Oh, no, go ahead. I didn't give Deila an opportunity to show off her. thumbnail poses. Oh, thank you so much.

Sorry, there's actually really only two drag queen poses. They go like this. Or really good. I compared Dela meeting another drag queen to the original 1994 interview with the vampire. But there's something about that, right? You know, drag queens move through the night. Oh, we're doubling down. Yes, 100%.

This isn't a regret? 100%. I don't regret it. Drag queens, two drag queens, right? In a city without drag queens, moving through the night, see each other from across the room, they recognize, wow, we have the same thing. We have the same. We're the, we're special, and we're not part of this, and we're, we move among, we're in the night.

I see where you're going with this, but I think the prime difference is we don't want more drag queens. We don't want to make any more. Right, right, right, right. Two is fine. Two is plenty. We're all set with two. Three's a crowd. I really went after Gareth for never having been to Torridge.

Or Travis Stock. No, you're absolutely right, though. I should have gone to Torridge. Now, seeing the class of gentlemen that's from Torridge, I'm a Torage 10, so I should head over there as soon as possible.

Yeah, that's right. Absolutely. You will fucking clean up. One of the hottest men who's ever been in Torrey. They'll be like, hey, guys, we think a kind of younger Brad Pitt

from America's... Fucking hell of movie star. Look at him. Sorry to Debbie Dingle who caught some strays. And we're sorry to the people of the United Kingdom. Just want to sort of get that out there. A lot of our listener, we have a lot of great listeners over there.

And I think we're going to probably trim down some of the things I said about bone structure and inbreeding. But I'll leave this in to let them know that it was said, and I'm sorry, even if they're not going to hear it. We definitely should cut that part out of the show. The ones that are inbreeding don't have great hearing. You're fine. Right, right. That's such a good point. That's a should a good point.

I don't know why that hit that guy so hard. Yeah. He also kind of has a Habsburg chin. so we should... No, I didn't look. I don't mean that. That's what Leno has. Gareth, there was some thought

that maybe you should regret talking about your dog's erectile dysfunction. I appreciated your candor. Thank you so much. And to whoever back there has an issue with my dog having whiskey dick, you sound like the women that it takes home.

You don't think the dog's used to hearing that sort of bullshit? Well, I'm sorry. Jim Beam's $2 where that dog goes to drink sometimes. What was the question? What do I do? And that's our show. Thank you so much to Bend de la Cremant, and Gareth Reynolds.

There are 55 days until the midterms. We'll be back Friday with former congressman and Katie Porter and the great Larry Wilmore. Have a great night. Love and Relative. It is a cricket media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett.

Our production team includes Hallie Keefer, Sarah Lazarus, Roman Borsellino, Peter Miller, David Tolls, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks Gavin Purcell and Matt DeGrope. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.