Lovett or Leave It - The Pride Will Continue Until Morale Improves

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

It’s Part 2 of our Lovett or Leave It Pride Show Extravaganza! This week, Lovett celebrates Nuclear Family Month, Cats: The Jellicle Ball, and Rosie O’Donnell’s incredible facelift. Meanwhile, Ashley Ray and Brendan Scannell crown America’s Top Ally. Atsuko Okatsuka joins us as we burn our hands on Hot Takes about polyamory, bitchy gays, and forcing drag queens to do the splits, and the Second Thoughts library is open as we read Lovett to filth.

Welcome to Love It or Leave It's Love It or Leave It Live! Welcome to Love It Live It live from Hollywood. I'm John Love it, publicly gay since Y2K. We've got a great show for you tonight. It's part two of our big gay pride spectacular. But first, let's get into it. What a week of gay news. Ding. Drag Queen Patagonia is going toe to toe with outdoor clothing brand Patagonia after the company sued her for copyright infringement over her stage name.

We'll win this case, bitch, said her lawyer, subpoena collata. You may wonder, how does Patagonia afford the legal fees? Our lawyer is doing it, pro boner. The goal is, of course, to get a hung jury. Conservatives lost it this month when Hello Fresh once again posted a collection of fiber-rich, bottom-friendly recipes for pride. I always knew fiber was gay, said a conservative influencer. on the toilet for either the fifth time today or the first time in two weeks.

Just thinking about fiber. You know. In an interview without magazine, Jennifer Lopez told the LGBTQ community, everything I do as I'm doing it, I'm thinking about you. And Jalo, on behalf of the LGBTQ community, tell us the name of your plastic surgeon, or I will tell a reporter that you called me a faggot. And they'll believe me because it is a crazy thing to make up.

After Idaho lawmakers banned pride flags on city and county property, the city of Boise has outsmarted them by installing rainbow ramping on the flagpoles themselves. Flagpoles, more like fagpoles. Speaking of pulling things up, Rosie O'Donnell got a deep plane facelift. She looks awesome. Look at that. Great, good for Rosie.

The lesbian icon told reporters of the Tonys that she was mobbed at the airport for the first time in 15 years, all craning to get a look at her new face. Said one disappointed photographer, it was just the normal number of eyes, mouth in the usual place. Speaking of the Tonies,

Katz, the Jellicle Ball, won three awards this year, including Best Costume Design in a Musical by trans designer Queen Jean. Yes. Queen Jean looked at cats and said, what if this time they're not cats? What if they're a bunch of gay guys?

And for that, we honor her. And honestly, it's better. It's kind of crazy that they're cats at all. It's the weirdest and worst part of the musical. They're already going to dances and singing about the memories of their lives. That's what people do. Do cats even have memories?

I've never met a cat for a second time and felt like we were picking up where we left off. And most of the songs and cats are just the cats introducing themselves. Mr. Mistalfelis is just a magician. He could be a person. The musical should just be called people. And have them be people getting ready for a big party.

Note to self, a musical about people. Nobody steal this. Speaking of musicals about people, Luke Evans busted out the boostier in his Tony's performance of sweet transvestite from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yeah. Beep, beep, beep,

chimes, Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson's Christian Fitbit that tells him to take a cold shower. While on Andy Cohen Live, Madonna said JFK Jr. was the best sex she ever had, but clarified, when it comes to talking about lovers, I'm only going to name dead people. Kind of weird. I've always preferred having sex with living people. During the San Francisco Giants Pride Night, two pitchers wrote a Bible verse on their rainbow pride caps. Nice try, boys. You still looked fabulous. The MLB issued a warning to the players, which J.D. Vance retweeted on Tuesday, with the caption, Trump won.

We don't have to do this anymore. Tough talk for a guy who spends every day on his knees. That wasn't the only protest against pride this year. The governors of Indiana and Tennessee are counter-programming Pride, declaring June to be Nuclear Family Month. The only difference between the Pride Parade and the Nuclear Family Parade

is that the gay guys at the Pride Parade are a little less horny. In Arkansas, the governor declared it Fidelity Month. In her proclamation, she quoted George Washington, who said, quote, virtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government. The governor advocating for virtue and morality is Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who was the former spokesperson to President Donald Trump. But hey, she cares deeply about building a virtuous society, unlike the godless cum-guzzling heathens in California, New York. So let's compare, okay? Which society is doing a better

job of upholding conservative family values that she claims to care so much about. Oh, that's weird. Arkansas has the highest divorce rate in the country, and that's after Bill and Hillary Clinton rolled up their sleeves and made it work. But maybe, maybe that's unfair. Maybe it's just because people in Arkansas get married more often because there's not much to do during the eight months of the year when the water parks are closed. But Arkansas also has one of the highest rates of infant mortality, along with Alabama. which declared June to be strong families month, with twice the infer mortality rate as here in California.

On the other hand, some of those infants would have ended up gay, and it's hard to tell which one, as all babies have pretty limp wrists. Too dark, well, buckle up. Arkansas, all right, where, where instead of celebrating pride, they're celebrating traditional values, also has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the country behind only Tennessee, Mississippi, and Alabama, almost, four times as high as the rate here in woke trans California.

Now, my writers beg me to cut all of this, screaming, this is the Pride Show, and people are trying to have fun, and I am having fun, and you're all having fun, this is fun. You know who's not having fun? All those mothers who aren't alive. Yeah, that's okay. That's the good feeling. That's right.

Because if people like Sarah Huckabee Sanders want to know what's actually hurting family, she shouldn't be looking at pride parades, She should be looking in the mirror. I know this is heavy, but guess what? Pride is silly because it's serious. Because for every person speaking up, there's someone out there who can't or is working up the courage to try,

like National Rugby League star Kane Williams, who just came out as gay, becoming the first men's professional rugby league player to do so since 1995. I've carried that around my whole life, but I'm here today to show people that, you know, you don't have to live like that. Even now, I feel a bit more free just by saying it out loud.

I've brought it to the light, and I feel like a weight of sort of lifted off my shoulders. The Ellen of rugby, they're calling him, and boy, does he hate it. That's what pride is all about, and we won't stop until every hot rugby player stops lying to themselves and admits that they're gay. All right, and we've got a great gay show for you tonight. We'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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But first, Pride Month is here. It's time to dress like it this season. The Cricket Store is dropping gayer than ever in two brand new designs and bringing back an old favorite the gay for democracy shirt plus class. It's like Dreamboat Willie. That's the one I'm wearing because we're allowed to use Steamboat Willie now because it's what do you call it? there, common, what's it called? Public domain so I can make Steamboat Willie kiss. Nobody can stop us.

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How about that? And more. All right. Please welcome to the stage. They put the B and LGBTQ, only this time the B stands for bitches complimentary. It's the hilarious Ashley Ray and Brennan's Cannell. Oh, no. Yeah.

Hi to you both. Hello. Hi, John. I haven't seen you both in so long. We were talking about how we weren't invited to your wedding. Ah! My cousins, every time I'm on the show are like, tell John hi, and I'm like, we're not that close. Didn't get the wedding invite.

No, what? The pictures were gorgeous. They were beautiful. What do you mean? Wait, what you guys weren't? What? I know. But I did bring you a gift.

We got you a gift. We got you a gift. She did. Oh, let's see. Oh, my gosh. It's a hat. It's a hat. It's a, it's merch to my solo show, if you can believe.

Yeah. Wow. That is... I also support... And there is not a candle in there. There is... Oh, I'm still looking for the candle. No candle.

I thought there might be a Lelabo candle, but it is just an unrelated hat. Well, I keep bags. You gotta keep the bags. You gotta keep bags. You gotta keep bags. Hey, how's your pride going so far? Good, didn't go to either of the parades. I'll tell you something.

I got to... fully, this is real, I got dressed to go. Like literally, we like planned around it. I put on my little tank top and my little shorts, and I swear to God, and I had a little edible, and I looked at Ari, and I said, this is pride. Pride can be whatever we want. I want to play video games for four hours.

Yes, yeah. And I know that I should want to go to the Pride parade, but I want to want to go. But right now at this moment, that's the time. not what it means to be gay for me. And if pride is about anything else, it has to be about that. What game are you playing? I'm playing the Talos Principle 2.

It is a game that mixes my love of puzzles with too long dialogue about the nature of consciousness. And it's like, hey, that's an interesting thing. I wish this was more puzzles, less of the chat, but I'm still loving the game. I'm having a great time. It does sound gay. It is pretty gay.

It is pretty gay. They're all kind of roe. My boyfriend and I, we played a co-working game together where we had to farm. I can't remember what it's called, but we had a farm. Does anyone know, you guys seem nerdy? And you had a farm, and we each had to take care of parts of the farm. But then my boyfriend would just go off and fish, and I got stuck taking care of the farm, so he'd go fish, and I'd be like, I'm taking care of the whole...

And so we had to stop playing the game. Yeah. That's like Animal Crossing? No. No. It was... Stardue Valley. It was called Stardue Valley, and I ended up doing all this.

of chores. And is everything good in real life? Yeah. With the couple? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're great. That's just our dynamic. And Ashley, there's something I love about you. It's that you're going to post through it. Yeah. I'm going to post through it. And you're

doing a lot of posting these days about being polyamorous. Oh, yeah. And bisexual. Oh, yeah. I have to warn people. And now, if you put those things together, horny. Yeah, basically. As my mom said, when I came out and told her I'm by Polly, she said, oh, so you're a slut.

And that was wrong for her to say. It was right for her to say. It kind of felt like the end of the Barbie movie where I was like, she gets me. She finally sees me. Wow. How's that going? I mean, pretty good, I guess. It's a weird time to be Polly.

We're kind of getting mainstream in some good and bad ways. You know, we have a new TV show called This Is Polly, which, is interesting and very weird to watch. Like, there's all these new covers that are like, polyamory, it's going to save your boring marriage. So it's not. It's not also. Let me just tell you, like, don't do it.

Yeah, so don't do it. Don't do it. Polyamory, don't do it. Don't do it. It just, here's the thing that it's always, it just seems so stressful because there's only so many hours in a day, and I feel like it's nice to have a balance between, say, a personal life and, say, a career,

and I think both are very valuable things to do and people can do with their time what they will. I do not have the space in my brain for career plus relationship one plus relationship number two. I get people that cheat and I get people that have open relationships. You know, you have a relationship and then you want to fuck somebody else

because you're horny. I get the, mentally, I understand that works. You can follow from point A to point B, but it's like, I get the sex plus the relationship. I wish I could do this twice as much. Yeah, yeah. No, it really is opting in. to having multiple conversations that are like,

yeah, I don't know if we should go over like with Verizon Fios or Spectrum. Yeah, which one works in your neighborhood. Like, it's just so much relationship talk that's boring. But you know, that's what we love about it. Is it? Yeah. I love the pool calories.

I want to be polyamorous that I can have more help on the farm. I feel like if my partner and I had more hands on deck than he could go fish and it wouldn't be such a big deal for me. Yeah, I mean, that is the logic of Sister Wives. You've Buckle up, Brendan, you've invented Sister Wives. Can I say?

It was a little difficult. We have the fires here in L.A. You know, polyamory out here, usually we're all very, there's no hierarchy, we're all equal in this polycule, like no one is more important. And when the fires are coming,

it turns out there's a hierarchy. It turns out some people are like higher on the pickup list than other people. Yeah, here's, this is, and I'm glad you're bringing this up. It has, it does seem, like a fair weather ideology to me.

Because it's like, it's like, no, I have a boyfriend in this part of town, but then I have a boyfriend over here, and this boyfriend's more for this, and that boyfriend's more for that. It's like, okay, but who's going to hold your hand when you're dying? Because you're not going to get two, and if you play your cards wrong, you're going to have zero. You know what I'm

saying? It's like, you want two people to hold your hand when you die? That's too many. Yeah, and so while I was watching the smoke rise alone in Silver Lake, oh wow, you were left behind. I was left behind. I was left behind. Wow, wow, no chair for Ashley when the music stopped. Yeah, and that is polyamory.

I do consider the polyamorous to be allies, which is why we're going to play a game about allies in a segment we call Friends of Friends of Dorothy. Here's how it works. I'm going to give you two vocal LGBTQ allies, and you'll tell us who you think is the better ally. Okay. Got it.

Yeah. They will then square off against the next ally until they're as one ally to rule them all. Okay. All right. First up, Guy Fierry. A vocal straight ally, the mayor of Flavortown once officiated 1001 gay weddings in 2015 an homage to his late lesbian sister.

Oh. Oh. See? Huh? Maybe there's some beautiful sentiment there in Flavir town. I didn't know if he was inclusive. Like Queen Latifah at the crime style? Or like the Moonies.

Remember when the Moonies would do those big weddings in the stadiums? Is that before anyone before? I'm so old now. You remember the Mooney's wedding? Yeah. I was born in 2007, so... Wow. You're so young.

So young. You're so young. You should have seen... It's too bad you don't remember what it was like when Obama won. It was cool. Yeah. We really thought things were going to change. All right.

We really did. Versus Hillary Duff starred in this famous 2008 anti-homophobia PSA. You know, you really shouldn't say that. Say what? Well, say that something's gay when you mean it's bad. It's insulting. I was a little gay, if I'm being honest. Yeah, it was kind of gay.

You cut the, like, wonderful line right afterwards. She's like, what if I said it was girl wearing a skirt as a top? The girl's wearing a skirt. I have to go with Hillary here. That is an iconic commercial. The beautiful commercial. It's part of our history, frankly. I gotta go with Guy Fieri.

Because I know another fact about Guy is that when the COVID shutdown happened, he gave so much money to restaurant workers who were out of work. and every restaurant worker is a gay person. I'm going to cut, I'm going to break the tie for Guy Fieri because during the pandemic, I ordered his nachos that come in a big barrel. And I made them. Delivery? What?

You could get it frozen and construct them. And you put them in kind of like a big... Did they get it brought in from the Burbank Airport? Yes, it was from the Burbank Airport. They were shipped from the burgh, that's why it's so easy to get. And basically, you build them inside of this can, and then there's a moment of reveal where you lift the can up and the nachos kind of tower.

and collapse and it was kind of a beautiful bit of ceremony in the midst of a dark time. Guy Fieri wins. Fair. Palaver Town. Next up, it's now it's Guy Fierry versus Johnny Knoxville. Oh. He wrote in a jackass float in the WeHo Pride Parade this month. I love that he's gone gray.

Yeah, and he's so hot. Remember in the last jackass movie, the first half of it, he has his hair died. And then there was a COVID shutdown really on the mind right now. And then they finished the movie and he had gray hair. Yeah. And then I gasped and I saw it in theaters. Of course, of course. Where it was meant to be seen.

I mean, he's at his hottest now. He's embracing just the gay fan base he's always had. I think we've all always enjoyed that Jackass is a big gig. And he's embraced that. John Waters recently came out and said that Johnny Knoxville is his favorite straight man. And if you get that from John Waters. Wow, wow. One sort of caution.

Jackass was previously banned from WeHo for a decade because Knoxville dressed up as an escaped convict running amuck in the restaurant Laurel Hardware only to be actually arrested by the cops. I feel like that's cool. That's cool. Why are you getting banned for that? Laurel Hardware, you're not allowed to wear shorts. That's anti-gay.

Yeah. So Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville. Johnny now it's Johnny Knoxville versus Daniel Radcliffe. He's publicly spoken out on behalf of trans people in an ongoing way, famously publishing a 2020 open letter that declared trans women as women when J.K. Rowling was repeated, was ramping up her public transphobia.

In 2022, Ragcliffe said the reason I felt very, very much as though I needed to say something when I did is because, particularly since finishing Potter, I've met so many queer and trans kids and young people who had a huge amount of identification with Potter on that. And so seeing them heard on that day, I was like, I wanted them to know that not everybody in the franchise felt the same way. That's nice. I thought that he was a gay man. So... He's just short. He does theater.

He's just short and does theater. He's short and does theater. So, I mean, he's such an ally. I thought he was gay. That's saying a lot. That's pretty cool, actually. Yeah. Wow.

There was too much Harry Potter mentioned in that description. I'm completely disassociated. So I got to go with Johnny Knoxville. Johnny Knoxville takes it. We love Daniel Radcliffe. Huge fan of Daniel Radcliffe. But it's not his today. It goes to Johnny Knoxville.

And then we have Johnny Knoxville versus Dwayne Wade. Dwayne Wade is an outspoken supporter of his daughter, Zaya Wade, along with his wife and Zaya's stepmom, Gabrielle Union. In 2024, Dwayne and Zaya launched the translatable project, an online nonprofit for trans teens and their families. Well, yeah, I got to go with Dwayne here. His support of his daughter has been amazing and his wife follows me on Twitter and threads. So they just really got it together over there in that household. I went to a very fancy Vanity Fair party once as a plus one and he was there and I basically like teared up saying how much I like I really, because he did something like it's one

thing to be like there's not a lot of a lot of people especially in Hollywood that advocate for gay people. I'm really glad they do. It's important. There's often a lot more claims tilting at bravery that's not really a lot of risk. But like he genuinely put himself out there and I think that that's really important and special. And so I feel like it's Dwayne Wade. And then it's Dwayne Wade versus Elizabeth Taylor. Oh. Oh.

One of the first celebrity AIDS activist, Elizabeth Taylor was spurred to action by the death of her friend and former co-star Rock Hudson. She co-founded Amfar, the American Foundation for AIDS Research, the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, famously while accepting the 2000 Glad Vanguard Award said, There is no gay agenda. It's a human agenda. Wow, that's a really good.

That's a tough competition. That's really interesting. I got to go with Liz. And I'll tell you why. I once had a hairdresser on a TV show who said, you know, Liz Taylor? And I go, yeah. And he goes, I have all of her wigs.

And I say how? And he said Warner Brothers was going to get rid of them. And me and my friends went in the night and took all the wigs, which is like an Ocean's 11 type movie that I'm looking for. And I would watch. And so because of that and because of the... the wigs that that man has in Burbank. It's got to be Liz for me.

I got to go Liz too. I mean, that's just a gay icon. Like, I'm pretty sure one of the, like, stripes on the flag is dedicated to her, probably. The Bearclaw. Elizabeth Taylor has won the Ally Award. As number one ally in our game today. We'll be right back.

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And we're back. Please welcome to the stage. You know your lover. It's Osco Okatska to join us. Come on in. Hi, beauties. Hi, sorry, I'm late. You're all right, you're right.

Good to see you. Welcome. Hi, hi, how's it going? Would you believe it? Would you believe it? My jacket. Yes, I come bearing something. I left out at Altsko's house a year ago.

Yes. Wait, what was, it was a holiday. It was a holiday party. It was a New Year party, right? Yeah, I think it was a New Year party. It's a gorgeous jacket. Really nice. I wasn't invited to that one.

Wow. That's going around for you. We'll invite you to the next one. You can leave something to. Thanks for letting me come late. I'm so sorry. I went to the wrong studio. Same name.

It's the Pride show. It's Pride show. I really shouldn't be. You barely are. I'm already. I'm missed about half of it. I'm late. Now I'm taking up time.

This is the role of straight women in pride, which is to constantly be apologizing and at the same time making it about themselves. And I think that that's... She's so whimsical. What times it's start? Wait, now, Brendan, your solo show, The Abyss, for which the hat is named.

Yes. It's currently running at the Hollywood Fringe and soon to be the Edinburgh Fringe Festival on August at the gilded balloon. If you can believe. Wow. Amazing. Wow.

What's the show about? The show is, it's a stand-up show that takes place in a submersible that's sinking to the bottom of the ocean. But really, it's about my family and about all the mental illness in my very Irish Catholic family. Hey, hey, does the thing go, you'll just have to come see it, John.

You'll have to come to sky. happen. I'm obsessed with Ocean Gate, so I'm all in the noise I made was bad. You didn't like that? You said you're going to get rid of that? It's wrong. He's going to get rid of your. Did you say to edit that out? No. Oh, I couldn't hear it. Sorry. I don't want it. We might. Was that, what did that mean? It implode. No, in the implosion when the thing imploded. Oh, oh, I see. Yeah. It's actually too fast. You're really actually not hearing the implosion. You're hearing the, the echo of it because it's great. It happens so quickly. Oh, my God. Wow. That was a tough couple days. It really was. This is his time.

That's right. This is his show. And I'm reclaiming it. And I'm not like I was producing it. Yes. Hey, you know what sound I think people make when they get sucked out of an airplane window? No.

That's what I've always thought the sound would be like, you know? I think there's also like, ah! Yeah, I like that more. I like the... I like the... I like the looom. Only tune version more, oh, oh, oh.

You don't like that. I don't like that real shit. Sorry. I don't take that. Hey, Odzgo, you did Edinburgh four years ago, and it says here on my card that you had several mental breakdowns. I did, yes, yeah. Any advice for Brendan? Wait, you did?

I had two mental breakdowns. What? I did, yes, but it's good. We can talk about it so you can be forewarned about, like, the stresses of the, you know, the months while you're there and all that. I'm sure you already know. I have to sleep in a dorm. Oh, gosh. A dorm?

Oh. And not in a hot way. Like with other adults? Yes. I'm splitting a dorm. Yes, it's for the love of the arts. You know, you perform your show every day, right, for like 30 days straight. It's kind of pricey to be there.

That's why a lot of people end up rooming together, right? And but then you get reviewed too by, you know, like six British men who, you know, who say sometimes mean things. Like, you know, as a 30-something-year-old woman, Atska Ocatska, claims she can't do laundry. Well, I'll see about that, like stuff like that. Stuff like that. I sort of believe you can't do laundry.

Yeah, no, and I couldn't. Who are they to tell me, like, who I am, or what I can't do or what I can do? Who are you to tell me what I can do? Yeah. How dare you? I can't do that. And shame on you for telling a woman like me

what I can do. I'm always arguing for my limitations. And these men, so anyway, no, I'm glad you're going. You do come out like a stronger artist, though. You really do, you know, and I'm excited to see your show. Now, Ashley, you're on Funny A.F. With Kevin Hart. Yes.

Which is a competition show, but not in the same way that last comic standing was. It's less competition-y. Yes. How has it been? What does that like? It was really fun. They told us they didn't want us to hate each other and be mean to each other. It was really about uplifting the art of stand-up comedy and the skill behind it.

So everyone was just supportive. It was all really friends. And I think that did sort of make for uninteresting, like, competition. Like, they would have us to try to shoot these talking head segments where they'd be, like, talk shit about the other people. Like, who's going to be a rival? And I was just like, everyone here's my friend. And you did a really good job picking people.

Like, wow. Wow, Jeff Probst comes in and just throws a knife down, and he's like, do something with that. Do something, yeah. Is it really just did feel like comedian summer camp where we were all friends. Kevin was very nice and short, and yeah. And I will say, he does not like when you mention the short stuff. He might act like he's cool with it. Don't think he's really cool with it.

Did you, and that's an interesting choice for you. So how quickly into meeting Kevin Hart did you start doing? Almost immediately. Uh-huh. That little guy. Like, as soon as they, because they wanted us to have fresh reactions to him and Tom Segura being our judges and coming out. So they like had them, they held them in the back and had them come out. And they were just like, just react.

And everyone's like, oh, my gosh. And I was like, oh, wow, he really is as short as they say. Got an amazing laugh. Right. Killed. And then Kevin was like, ha ha. Yeah, yeah, that was funny. But let's do a take without that.

And that is the take that is in the episode. I get that. There's so much, I have been on this show a couple times. I'm always making fun of you, and it never ends up in it. I mean, we try to keep in as little as you as we can. No, I like to be insulted on this show. It is my kink. I've never really had a problem being short.

Actually, I think part of my personality, you would expect me to be someone self-conscious about that, but actually, it's about every other thing. Yeah. You know, so that's it. I like me short. I kind of use it to, like, get people to help me. You know, like, I'll just, like, end up. to restore and be like, where is everything?

They think I'm a little kid. Right, you were saying you pretended to be a fifth grader for some sort of con artist thing for like several years. You gotta cut this. No, nothing related to children on this show. Now, Otko, speaking of Emmyworthy, I don't- Speaking of size. Speaking of size, in your Hulu special,

father, you talk about being close to your husband and how being best friends as a married couple is very childlike. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. I'm always like, you know, I think it's harder to be single. I think it's, you have to do, you know, as a single person, you have to, you know, do paperwork on your own and be on time and do the laundry. And, you know, it's one of the things I realized that was that I hadn't been doing laundry because

my husband had been doing it this whole time. So stuff like that that you get to be very childlike about, you know, like married people say things like, you know, that's my best friend. You know, it's very childlike, actually, you know? Yeah. Right? And so, yeah, that's what I meant by that. And I was thinking about, actually, I had watched Funny A.F. It was great.

Thank you. You were great in it. Thank you. And with the short stuff, it's interesting because in the roast, the Gavin Hard Roast, there's a lot of short jokes in it. Yeah. But maybe it turns out those weren't the most problematic ones. And so, like, he, you know what I mean? Yeah, you've got to embrace the short jokes when it's like lynching jokes are a fair game.

No, totally. I think that's beautiful. Like when married people are like, oh, you're my best friend. Because poly people, we have to be like, this is my third nesting partner once removed Metamore. I know. It's so much. Sounds buggy. It sounds.

It's just, it's sad. There's a lot of language. There's a lot of words. There's a lot of terms of art. That just seems a little bit too much brain space. I just, I feel like I don't have the, I don't know how you'd like. Like this is my hinge partner in my kitchen table polyamory. Oh, yeah.

I truly am learning new words with every passing moment about this. And like, I just, it just seems like, you know when like they wanted the earth to be at the center of the universe? And so they were trying to make the model work. So they were adding the little epicircles around the other circles. They're like, no, no, it's fine. The earth is still at the center, but it's a circle on a circle. I feel like a lot of what I hear about polyamory, it's like, no, now. technically your partner subcategory parentheses hated.

I think it's good to have another person around. I was the, I lived with a straight couple who then got engaged. And so then another straight couple poached me, and I started living with them, and then they got engaged. These straight couples are both now married and have children because I was around. Wow. You're like a free agent. That's so cool. You need a free agent there to wait.

in on things. Maybe poly people are the most adult, actually, because these vocab words are sending me, it's I don't even, you know, like I don't remember most of the words you just said. Yeah, fair. Just now. And so, yeah, like, you have to be on time, super beyond time, remember

each other's interest, things like that, right? That's really the brain capacity needed, you know. Plus, like, the stakes become higher because it's like, I got your favorite chicken parmesan and then they're like, that's not my favorite. Right. Whose favorite is it, you piece of For sure.

Oh my God, I've blown it yet again. It's like every day is fucking Mrs. Doubtfire with you people. Oh, my God. Because there's always a hierarchy too, right? Like, because most places are just plus one. Yeah. Right? You can only bring a plus one to the wedding.

You know what I mean? You got to think about those things and usually have a long discussion. Usually, you know, every Sunday you'll be like, we have our polycule meetup where we talk about our feelings. That's so much. When do you work? When do you work? When do you do?

have I met a little. See, that's why you want to get eventually to a place where your entire polycule lives together and works together. Yeah, and you're own a farm together. You know, you may all be baristas, but you're splitting that money and paying it together. Okay, so rent, that seems extra people to pay rent. I'm seeing a plus. Listeners, I want you to know something. I hear how judgmental I sound, and I'm not going to fix that tonight. I'm going to think about questions in which I tried to see the good of this in a future episode, because it's not happening for me here. Well, it's like, You build a commune, right?

It's like it turns into a village, right? It takes a village to pay rent. And then one person to see. Right? And so that's... Oh, there we go. In this economy, yeah, it's, you know, I see a lot of pluses too. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah. Yeah, plus one, plus two, plus three. Plus many pluses. You know, as many pluses you want. All right, we'll be right back. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love or Leave It is brought you by Cook Unity.

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Od's go, Brendan, Ashley, I'm going to give you a gay pride hot take. You have to give an impassioned defense of this hot take, even if you disagree with it. You can't bail midway and you can't half asset. Speaking of full throats and asses, Brendan, let's start with you. Wow. Hey. Wow. First up, we should stop asking drag queens to do the splits. Yeah, we should stop asking drag queens to do the splits. When did drag become an athletic sport?

Also, drag queens, there's no union. There's no health insurance. These girls are getting paid in drink tickets. The people who want drag queens to do the splits are the MCL and ACL surgeons. because these girls are going to hurt themselves. Drag queens should be lip-saking to a song by a diva about how time has passed her by. Drag queens should not be doing flipply loops, getting the twisties, tearing their groins.

There's already a lot happening up there with the tucking. I'm going to start betting on Kalshi, for which one of them is going to rip their dork. dang leg off with how athletic drag has become. Drag is an art form. It's not about doing flips and splits. Yeah. Drag queens, I stand with you.

Stand still. Stop moving. That was beautiful. I also just want to say that I think getting the twisties sounds like a Victorian name for a hernia. Next up, odds go, being a straight woman is harder than being a gay man. I feel like this isn't my month and really my time.

I, as a person who cares, and has a lot of gay friends, a lot. Some of them are on stage. I'm gonna give it to Brendan to say this, and then I'm gonna just kind of be the energy behind it. It's like an ally thing. It's way harder to be Otsiko than a gay guy. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. You already went into it. Did you already play the game where whoever's the best ally? Yeah.

Who won? Elizabeth Taylor. Oh, so I don't even... I don't have a shot. No, you're out. You're out. Well, Brendan already went into it, so I'm just going to kind of be the energy behind why a straight woman, being a straight woman is harder than being a gay guy.

Go! Yeah, it's hard to be a straight woman. You go to the wrong studio sometimes. Uh-huh. She's whimsical. Your husband isn't around. today to drive you everywhere like he typically does. So tired.

And your gay guys are too much in a come down to text you where they are and where you're supposed to be. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. I also feel like being a straight woman means you have to date straight men. And I just think that like some of them are great, but that's a challenge. It's just a challenge.

Like some of them, it's just like, no, you can't wear that. It's a wedding. You're saying a lot of that kind of thing. And no gay guy has to say that to another gay guy. I love this. So, all right, next up, Ashley, monogamy is the best way to have a functional relationship. I told you I wasn't going to learn or grow today. Yeah, yeah.

I said that. Yeah, yes, monogamy is the best way to have a healthy relationship because secretly cheating is French and sexy and hotter anyway. And that's what a lot of monogamous people do. so that's kind of fun and weddings are cool. I haven't been to one in a while. It's so funny because Otsko and I were just at a wedding. Yeah, yeah. It was John's wedding where I was only allowed a plus one.

So, yeah. Yeah, and not very poly-friendly wedding, I guess. So maybe that's why I didn't get the invite. Yeah, that's why. I wasn't going to get a plus two, so fair enough. But, you know, monogamous people be their best friend. and I feel like they probably don't change their sheets as much as I do, so that's probably handy. And, oh, you probably, like, don't have a hard time choosing what restaurants to eat at.

Like, there's just two people deciding on that. You don't even have to take a vote, and that is probably so good for your relationship. Yeah, you can't vote because it's either 2002 or tie. Or tie. So the votes never matter. Yeah, but we're over here. We're vetoing. We have an electoral college.

Yeah, you have a breath. That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful. And that is bad, and that is why monogamy is better. Shout out monogamy. Wow. The OG. All right, one last one.

Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can be mean all the time. Yeah, I think just because you're gay doesn't mean you can be mean all the time. Throwing a bitch at the end of it doesn't make you funny. You're just saying a mean comment about a woman's hair. Just because you have a little lilt in your voice doesn't mean it's charming. Sometimes it is, but often it's just like, wait a second. Are you being cool and funny, or are you just being a huge cunt with a little list at the end? You know what I mean?

I'm about looking at you. Who's the mean one? What's the mean? Who are the gays that are mean all the time? You're saying all of them? I feel like this applies a little bit to me. I don't know. I don't know who this is directed at.

I think sometimes it's directed at fitness instructors, lots of people. I feel like fitness instructors are so motivational and nice. They are. Where are you going? I love a bitch at the end by a fitness instructor. Come on, give me more bitch. Yeah. I'm like, I am a bitch.

I'll give you everything, Michael. Yeah, 100%. Michael's the guy who teaches spin at my gym, and I'd give it all away for him. I get mean ladies, just really mean, mean ladies, who I feel like I can feel them judging me. Really? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I guess it depends on the class. Is this all cycling? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I take dance fitness, so it's a little different. That's going to be a joyful game.

They don't scream as much, I think, as cycle. Because it's hard when you're like, you know, doing spins, like, with your feet. Yeah. You have to keep the rhythm and so on. Yeah. Yeah. It's really easy to be a bitch on a bike. Yes.

Yeah. You're locked in with the shoes, you know. Yeah. You're locked in. Your legs only go two ways on the bike. I feel like you want to move around more. That's my problem with the bike. like, oh my God, there's forward and this back. That's it for an hour? No, thank you.

Sometimes they throw in the hand weight moves. Yeah, I know. They're trying to do it with the hand weights. And it's like, let's stop pretending this isn't a bike. All right, we're on. Can we all just face the facts? This is a fucking bike. We'll be right back. And we're back. And we're back. Boy, we had a lot of fun tonight. But also, we said some things we might regret. And God can judge us for it. But until then, let's take a look at the things my producers wish I shouldn't have said or did. In a segment, we call second thoughts. And Otko, Brendan, and Ashley, if you have any second thoughts about this evening, I'd love to hear them as well. All right. Things I'm apologizing for from the monologue. I'm sorry about the joke, fagpole. It's also fine that cats is about

cats. It's called cats. And the Arkansas stuff got pretty dark, but I don't regret that. I feel like everybody came along. I feel good about that. I feel that. Ashley and Brendan, I'm sorry for not inviting you guys to the wedding. It's okay. I had something that night. Yeah. And, oh, I don't remember saying this, but apparently I called Ashley's lifestyle, quote, terrible. And that I do, I genuinely don't remember doing that, and I regret it. I regret it. I shouldn't have said that. I can't say it's wrong. I feel like, I feel like I said, couldn't it one might see it as terrible but I feel like the word terrible was thrown in about thrown about I don't think I put it I think I had some ironic distance from it Ashley do you have any regrets

I want I regret every insult to the poly community I made because I don't want to lose my sponsorship with the field app the best place to meet polyamorous singles or your next polyqule but no I mean you know some of us were so great and I love to meet polyamorous singles or your next polyqle but no I mean you know some of us we're so great and I love how diverse representations of polyamory are on TV now. We got queer couples, we got lesbian polycules. Go us. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that there was a polyamorous couple on that show with the therapist.

Yes. But I haven't gotten to that season yet. Oh, every poly couple on that show is horrible. Like they are always the most selfish, ridiculous people. One of them started a massive forest fire in Northern California. And by the way, and then went on to be polyamorous. Like, come on, man. Okay, well, I feel like those are unrelated.

No, I get it. I see where they're connected. Brendan, any second? Brendan, any second thoughts before we wrap it up? I feel like I threw my boyfriend under the bus in regards to Stardue Valley. And I want to apologize to him. I love that you have your activities and that you loved to fish. But, yeah, if you could just hang up your towels.

after you use them, that would be great. Beautiful. Osko, any regrets? Oh, gosh. I mean, no. I, I live. Oh, this, I'm doing the game wrong. You're a great ally.

You're a great ally. We all feel that. Happy pride. Happy pride, everybody. And that is our show. Thank you to Hatsko, Gatska. Brennan, Skennell and Ashley Wray. There are 137 days until the midterms.

We'll be back on Wednesday with Ali Seneek, Ivey-Wadawe. and Matt Hamilton. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Halle Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, David Tolls, Claudia Scheng, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroote, and our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.