Lovett or Leave It - The Wizard of Ozempic

Episode Date: March 4, 2023

We march into a new month with another stellar phalanx of guests at Los Angeles’ beautiful Dynasty Typewriter theater. Gretchen Carlson talks about why she sued Roger Ailes and what she’s learned since leaving Fox News. Lizz Winstead talks abortion access and, against all odds, even makes it funny. Ms. Pat has lived a storied life, and sees if our audience can guess which tales are even too tall for her. Kara Swisher puts the AI in “aye yai yai” in her conversation about ChatGPT, and Lovett promotes the latest invention to hit the ever-expanding This Will Drive Humanity Insane market. Wheel we end it all with a Rant Wheel? We wheel. We wheely, wheely will. For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast. 

Hello, Los Angeles! Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live or else. If you are one of the three people that emailed us asking for the skull we discussed in last week's episode, we've sent your IP address to the FBI. Hi, quick question. Love the show. You mentioned that there was a human skull. I was wondering if I could have it. 911.

Calling the government. Also, shout out to the person who said we should just leave it at a museum. I think that's another great idea. Or on a bus. We have a great show for you tonight. Liz Winstead is here, and she loves bodily autonomy. Kara Swisher is here, and she loves responsible approaches to content moderation.

Miss Pat is here, and she loves a good tall tale. And Gretchen Carlson is here, and we're as surprised as you are. It's going to be great. It's going to be great be great but first let's get into it what a week the nation trembled when the washington post published a damning report on how the biden's recently ate out at a restaurant and both ordered the same pasta entree this of course sparked an online debate about whether or not that's acceptable oh do you want the bidens to try new dishes do you know what happens if joe biden is surprised by a fusion pasta dish with miso in it i'll tell you what happens president kamala harris

meanwhile the pharmaceutical company eli lily announced plans to cut the price of its insulin drugs by 70 and cap patients out of pocket-of-pocket costs at $35. A spokesperson for the company said, it's cool, we'll just raise prices somewhere else. And then she spun a big game show wheel. President Biden, whose Inflation Reduction Act capped insulin for people on Medicare, praised the move in a tweet calling for other pharmaceutical companies

to follow suit. In response, pharmaceutical companies offered to give opioid patients their first three hits free. Also this week, Congress voted to block a Biden administration rule to allow retirement fund managers to consider climate and social factors in their investment decisions. Advisors to President Biden have already confirmed that he plans to veto the bill. It's a completely performative culture war. No one retires anymore. According to court evidence, Proud Boy leader Enrique

Tarrio told his followers in late December that it could be useful that people expected the Proud Boys to attack on January 6th, texting, misinformation is a good tool. Tarrio then added, and this is real, fuck, did I just Goebbels this thing? Referring, of course,

to Joseph Goebbels, the Nazi propagandist, which is obviously disgusting. This trend of turning nouns into verbs has gone far enough. Hashtag gerbiling. A photo of Tennessee Governor Bill Lee surfaced of him in drag the same day he announced his plans to support anti-drag legislation. I can't lose Drag Race if I'm the only one left, said the governor, while putting on lipstick and cackling in an abandoned moonshine distillery

deep in the Smokies. If you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else? A Trump-appointed federal judge in Texas is set to rule on a lawsuit attempting to halt the distribution of Mifepristone, one of the two drugs used to induce abortions. The race is on in Texas to somehow prove Mifepristone can also be turned into bullets. After a multi-year investigation involving about 1,000 cases, five U.S. intelligence agencies have found that the cluster of symptoms

known as the Havana Syndrome was not caused by some kind of space ray gun or energy weapon. Sounds to me like they were simply, Havana, weird time. Thank you. Anyway, it says here in the report that Havana Syndrome, oh no, escaped from a lab in Wuhan. The Air Force fired two commanders and four other service members at a key nuclear base in North Dakota after their units failed a nuclear safety inspection. Yeah, I get it's bad to leave my keys in there, said one commander, but wouldn't it be worse if I needed the keys and I couldn't find them? Think about it.

worse if I needed the keys and I couldn't find them? Think about it. On Monday, Republican Representative Andrew Ogles admitted that he doesn't really have a degree in international relations, as he had earlier claimed, but instead had majored in liberal studies. Sensing a threat, George Sanders immediately puffed up to twice his size. This isn't the first time Ogles has exaggerated his accomplishments. Previously, according to Nashville's WTVF, Ogles claimed he was an economist. Even though he had, in reality, only taken one economics course at a community college, a course he almost failed. This is like a kid in grade school saying that he was friends with the Ninja Turtles, but really he just ate pizza that he found in a sewer. Ogles also repeatedly claimed he was a trained law enforcement officer who specialized in international child sex trafficking. In reality, that also wasn't true, but a nice change of pace from the Republicans who lie about not being involved in child sex trafficking.

Speaking of grifters, the House Ethics Committee has finally announced an investigation into New York Representative George Santos and his teetering pile of legal issues, the committee has indicated that if George Santos turns out to be three kids in a trench coat, all of them will be held accountable, not just the head. Meanwhile, in an investigation by the St. Louis Dispatch, almost two dozen parents of trans kids receiving health care at Washington University's Transgender Center at St. Louis Children's Hospital pushed back on one former employee's viral allegations about the clinic.

I feel like I could go line by line through her affidavit and debunk it all, said one employee who worked alongside the self-described whistleblower Jamie Reed in yet another investigation of the claims, this time by the Missouri Independent. A 17-year-old named Chloe exposed the former employee's lie that the clinic never discontinues cross-sex hormones, telling reporters that doctors were supportive when she decided to halt her estrogen therapy. It was amazing, she said. I live my life according to one simple principle, and that principle is to never do anything that could ever result in a bunch of teens calling me a fucking liar in the newspaper. paper. A parent whose teenager was anxious for gender-affirming surgery refuted Reed's claim that the clinic regularly referred minors for surgery, recalling that a nurse told her son, put it out of your mind,

we don't do that here. I've had a McDonald's employee say that to me about a secret menu item I saw on TikTok. It's tough to hear, but in the end, maybe tough love. All the parents said that the clinic was slow to begin medical interventions, required that the whole family be on the same page, and meticulously

reviewed all options and side effects. Which is crazy. I, a reasonable adult, believe that children were walking into a medical center and saying, trick or trans, and walking out with a pillowcase full of puberty blockers. The most unbelievable part of these reassignment surgery conspiracy theories, the idea that getting surgery scheduled in the United States

wouldn't be a drawn-out pain in the ass. That's not the America I know and keep my slop in. Point is, as a rule of thumb, whenever the anti-woke contact factory serves up an easy trans-related villain, it's going to be bullshit. That non-binary Biden official who keeps snatching suitcases at the airport? Exception that proves the rule. And shout out to that person. Taking publicity photos to document your path-breaking career in politics in outfits you stole from the luggage carousel at Dulles?

Iconic queer behavior. I don't know if you've seen this person in the outfits that they stole, but they are wearing magnificent, beautiful, fashionable garments. Most suitcases don't have those in them. How many suitcases do you have to steal filled with Old Navy fucking neutrals

to end up with magnificent designer gowns? 10 out of 10. The brazenness of it. On Monday, Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill giving himself greater control over Disney by putting a five-person board made of Republicans hand-picked by DeSantis in charge of the central Florida district where Disney World resides. While the board is mainly in charge of maintenance and infrastructure, DeSantis wants a say in Disney's creative decisions, scolding the company for trying to inject woke ideology into their children's entertainment. Here in Florida, DeSantis continued, we believe anything that isn't exactly like it was when I personally

was a child is disgusting. Back when I was a kid, Disney knew that if a character was swishing around the screen like the boys in my school who did the play, they were trying to trick a princess or kill the brother or find a magical lamp. These days, I saw the moving story of friendship and love and belonging

that is Luca. I loved it. Then I find out it's an allegory for being gay. Folks, I threw up for three hours straight. The Thai lettuce wraps came up. The factory burrito grande came up. The Adam's ripple cheesecake came up. Hey, Ron.

If you want to stay in Disney's content, you can pursue it like the rest of us. Spend the best years of your life honing your craft in the hopes that a major conglomerate hires you to write the next cultural touchstone, only to eventually settle for writing jokes for a podcast. Who wrote this? What the fuck? How did that get in there? That's bullshit.

Said the Florida governor. When you lose your way, you know, you got to have people that are going to tell you the truth. And so we hope that they can get back on. But I think all these board members very much would like to see the type of entertainment that all families can appreciate. Look, we believe in freedom here in Florida. We have to protect our freedom to make sure private companies, individuals don't do things that we don't like. That's what freedom means. So the government is going to appoint a group of people to keep an eye on Disney's content, a kind of bureau, if you will, a political bureau. And we can shorten that if you want. The effect of this intimidation was immediately chilling. We spent two weeks filming a poignant scene where I fist Gaston for the Beauty and the Beast prequel, and now the world will probably never see it,

said a despondent Josh Gad as he stared longingly at a candelabra. Inside of that is the idea that at some point, Lumiere is involved in some kind of a sexual experience. Meanwhile, DeSantis revealed in his new book, The Courage to be Free, that he agreed to get married at Disney World On the condition that no Disney characters be present at the wedding That is the best possible compromise

We can get married at that place you like As long as it's scrubbed of everything you love about it Sure, we can get married at Matt Schlapp's house But absolutely no incognito browsers And no secret gay yearning So powerful the walls vibrate with shame and unmet need yeah i'd really be keeping up with the news to get that one that's that's i'm not helping you at all with that one new york city mayor eric adams waved off the

pesky separation of church and state during an interfaith breakfast this week saying this oh tell me about no separation of church and state. State is the body. Church is the heart. You take the heart out of the body, the body dies. 0.8% swings the other way in that ranked choice vote. New York could have a no-nonsense sanitation commissioner as mayor, whose weirdest quotes wouldn't crack the Eric Adams top 100, but no. Adams continued. I can't separate my belief because I'm an elected official. When I walk, I walk with God. When I talk, I talk with God. When I put policies in place, I put them in with a God-like approach to them. That's who I am. And when you saw only one set of footprints, that's when I was sitting on God's shoulders,

pointing out rats for him to stomp on. Speaking of the Big Apple, New York City's Department of Transportation botched a road sign for the Jackie Robinson Parkway in Queens, accidentally spelling it Jakey, which is tough, but to be fair, a lot less offensive than the signs Jackie was used to when he was alive. Pearls before fucking swine.

That's the best joke of the night. You let that in. Let it in. That's the best you're getting. Show some goddamn respect. You laugh when someone gives you something as good as that That's how comedy works I tell you what's funny

And you laugh at it The Los Angeles Police Protective League Announced a list of almost 30 potential types of calls They may send unarmed officers or service providers to Instead of an armed response These calls include welfare and mental health checks Including checking on the cops who signed up for having a gun Not this fag shit or service providers to, instead of an armed response. These calls include welfare and mental health checks, including checking on the cops who signed up for having a gun, not this fag shit.

Shut up. A judge ruled this week in its attempt to stop union organizing, Starbucks committed egregious and widespread violations of labor laws. As part of the punishment, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz will be required to make a video in which he reads workers their rights while two hooded baristas stand over his shoulders with Kalashnikovs.

Tesla CEO and the first person to accidentally snort Ozempic, Elon Musk, defended Scott Adams, whose Dilbert comic strip was dropped by newspapers after he went on a YouTube rant calling for, you guessed it, segregation. Most people don't know this, but Dilbert was actually Scott Adams' second comic strip. His first was Calvin and Hobbes vs. the Board of Education. Elon is at least consistent. He also supported Charles Schultz after the release of The Disastrous. It's a race war, Charlie Brown. I'm going to tell you

something, and this is on the prompter. We planned to me to tell you this in advance. We debated turning this into one superior joke, which would be Charlie Brown versus the Board of Education. But we liked them individually too much. As Instagram rapidly expands its Reels feature to compete with TikTok,

some users have complained that the platform is serving them horrific videos of people and animals being maimed and killed. Don't worry, everybody. It's just cake. A new study shows LGBTQ youth are less likely to become depressed if their parents support their identity. When reached for comment, the control group said, I'm going to be a star, okay? I'm going to be so fucking famous.

Katerina Nash, an Olympic mountain biker and cross-country skier from the Czech Republic, was almost flagged for doping after her dog's medicine got into her system through her skin. They're calling it air budding. The dangerous new drug craze sweeping literally one random Olympic athlete. Scientists at the Center for Whale Research have started observing female orcas who are feeding and caring

for their male offspring well into adulthood, while they observe the male offspring posting Family Guy memes to Reddit and messaging girls they went to high school with on Facebook. This week, actor Steven Seagal was awarded the Order of Friendship by Vladimir Putin for contributing to better international relations with Russia.

Friends owned. What a simp. A Spirit Airlines flight from Dallas to Orlando was grounded after a battery in a passenger's carry-on caught fire in the overhead compartment. According to authorities, the battery caught fire when the crew tried to use it to power the plane. The fire was especially dangerous because the overhead compartments are

where spirit keeps the hay for the goats. And finally, a dark, crusty fungus fed by whiskey vapors from a Jack Daniels distillery has taken over a Tennessee town, coating homes, trees, cars, and patio furniture. Sorry, but distilling can have unpredictable consequences. It's a whiskey business.

When we come back... When we come back... Oh, oh, oh Ozempic And we're back As most of you know, we keep the lights on at Crooked by selling ads Not every ad can fall into the most ideal news cycle But we make the best of it

Anyway, this episode of Love It or Leave It is brought to you by, oh no, Ozempic. Ozempic is a miracle drug. It was the first semi-glutide approved by the FDA for the treatment of adults with type 2 diabetes. It's also an incredibly effective appetite suppressant, and similar drugs have been approved for chronic weight management in adults with obesity or a weight-related comorbidity. Ozempic has not been approved for use by already thin celebrities just trying to fit into their dog's clothes. Or Upper East Side power wives hoping to turn sideways and disappear down a sewer grate before Chris Cuomo spots them outside Citarella. Contrary to what you may have heard, all the gays at CAA are not on it. Most of the gays, sure,

but Mason's actually been busting his ass at Equinox. Side effects may include nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, constipation, and the unattainable body you've always dreamed of. Wait, how did that get in there?

Forget you heard that. Ozempic, it's not meant for getting medically snatched. It does work amazingly to that end, but don't even think about it. When we come back, Hen in the Fox House. Hey, don't go anywhere.

There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. And we're back. You know me. I'm a guy known for reaching across the aisle. It's usually to steal popcorn out of other people's buckets during the Nicole Kidman AMC ad, but it still counts. Joining me now, please welcome to the stage Gretchen Carlson. How you doing? Hi, hi, hi.

Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. All right. First of all, welcome. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. All right. First of all, welcome. Thank you. I like this coat. Thank you very much. I've had it for forever. I see you mentioned Nicole Kidman. Did you know she played me in Bombshell?

I did know that. I did know that. I'm just trying to make a segue. No, it's funny. We discussed that. It came up in our brainstorm to no end. Although I can't tell you anything about the portrayal. You didn't see it? Well, of course I saw it. Oh, but you're not allowed to talk about it. Exactly.

You're not allowed to talk about that specific period of time. I'm not allowed to talk about the portrayal of me in that movie, even though it was about me. I couldn't participate in anything about that movie. My husband can't tell you. My kids can't tell you. My parents can't tell you. Why? They didn't say anything.

Well, you have no idea how far reaching these agreements get, unfortunately. Although, I will say that even though I couldn't participate in the movie, it was a great thing because when you have an actress of that caliber playing a role about sexual harassment in the workplace, that wasn't happening six years ago. So, you know, hats off to her. What a pro you are. We're already just deep in it.

We're talking about how you were portrayed by Nicole Kidman in a movie about your bravery. What an amazing, I love it. I love it. That's why you're a real pro. You're an anchor. This is going to be a challenge. We're going to do great. All right.

Here's my question. Actually, you're in the fire log pose and I can't do that. So you are, I've tried that in yoga and I am not that limber. So it must be your vodka drink. Well, what it is, is that, uh, uh, it's a, I caught you off guard. There's a, there's a sort of a set of LGBT poses that my body can do. I actually don't know how to sit, like how you're sitting normally. That's not my culture. All right. So first of all, congratulations. I don't know how to... I see it.

I see people do it. I see people sit normally. Like, I do talk shows with John and Tommy, my co-hosts, and they sit in a chair and their legs touch the ground and their bodies are up and they look like people

who sit in a chair. I look like a mannequin fell over. First of all, congratulations. Friday is the anniversary of President Biden signing a bill you really lobbied to pass, which is the ending forced arbitration of sexual assault and sexual harassment act, or FASASHA.

Will you just tell us about it? Couldn't they have named it something a little bit easier for people to understand? People don't even know what forced arbitration is, and then you have that bill with 17 words in it. But this was something that I championed since my harassment case against Fox News six and a half years ago. And in all seriousness, this is like a huge fucking deal. I mean, this is the biggest labor law change in the last 100 years. And essentially, it gives people a choice of when you face sexual misconduct at work,

do you want to go to the secret chamber of arbitration never to be heard from ever again? Or do you want to be able to have your Seventh Amendment right to go to an open jury process? Okay, let me see. I think I choose the latter. And in my case, I had a forced arbitration clause in my contract at Fox. And even as a highly educated person who was contemplating doing this lawsuit, it was a dark day for me when my team of lawyers said to me, you have no case because you have something called a forced arbitration clause. And I was like, what? And they're like, you're going to go over to this secret place here and nobody's ever

going to hear from you again, which is why they came up with the brilliant strategy to sue Roger Ailes, the former CEO and chairman personally, instead of Fox News to try and circumvent that. Most people don't have that opportunity to have great lawyers thinking of those kinds of strategies. So this has become my life work to try to change and equal the playing field for everyone else who doesn't have the voice that I have to be able to make change. So a lot of contracts have some kinds of arbitration clause. Our cell phone contracts have arbitration clause in them. But I was genuinely surprised by how far they could stretch. Like they seem to include things that would in some cases be illegal, right?

Like sometimes you could be forced into arbitration over something that you would be able to like accuse them of with law enforcement. Everything that I'm fighting for at my nonprofit, Lift Our Voices, is illegal. They are all human rights violations. So everything under Title VII, which would be any form of discrimination for race, gender, LGBTQ+, age, disability, et cetera, sexual misconduct, right? Those are all illegal already. However, companies got really smart over the last 40 years and decided to make arbitration a way to keep it all silent. This was never the intent of arbitration. Arbitration is a good thing for some things. It was supposed to like unclog the court systems and have small business disputes go to this thing called arbitration so you didn't waste time with judges, right? Because they have too many cases. work by forcing people into this secret place over here, never to be heard from ever again.

And that's what has happened over the last 40 years. So it's this vicious cycle where there are no appeals. It's secret. And so the bad people, nothing ever happens to them. The good people who come forward get forced out of their jobs. They're fired. They never work again. And this cycle continues. I'm about stopping that. Some of their hands are having trouble going together for you. It's like something in there kind of, they keep getting closer and they're like, what's happening? I'm not supposed to. But see, you don't really know me. You don't know what my political background is or what I really believe. That's why we're talking about it.

No, I know. That's why we're here. That's why we're having this conversation. So that's actually. That's why we're here. That's why we're having this conversation. So that's actually what I want to ask you about. I'm not comparing them. But there are moments when, say, a Republican senator who has been opposed to, say, gay rights for a very long time will find out they have a gay son. Yep. And they'll say, you know what?

I've talked to my son. I've learned. I've had this personal experience. And that has led me to realize that I should be for marriage equality. And sometimes I think, okay, you're so close. Now remember, everyone's someone's son, whatever their problems may be. And I targeted those Republicans on purpose with my strategy to try to get them on board for my issues based on their own personal experiences.

I can think of one right now who already retired, Senator Rob Portman. He was on my list. So I needed 10 Republicans in the Senate to pass this bill so that it could get past the filibuster, not to get too much into the weeds. So he was a person on my list because I knew that he had a sensitivity and an understanding to human rights violations. And when he called me back and he said, I'm going to join you, he said, are we doing enough? And I said, no, we're not because this bill is only about sexual misconduct. And I want to protect people like your son. This is a way where you can get to the hearts and minds of people that you never think you can get to. So I strategically went to Republicans that I thought I could get on board.

They were retiring. They had personal situations like that. Some people like Lindsey Graham, who was the co-sponsor of my bill, for some reason, he was just like, I agree with you. And I was like, great, because a vote is a vote is a vote. This was a huge strategic plan to try and get this passed. And so that is now passed at

the federal level. Are there state laws that need to be addressed? What's the next step for the organization? Well, so this was just a bite out of the apple because at Lift Our Voices, we believe in getting rid of these silencing mechanisms for all protected classes. But we knew at the federal level, we could only take one small bite, which was sexual misconduct. But the strategy worked, John, because within eight months, I passed my second bipartisan bill last year, which was to eradicate non-disclosure agreements also for sexual misconduct called the Speak Out Act, which was signed by the president on December 7th. So in a span of eight months, we passed two of the biggest labor law changes in the last 100 years. So now we go back for more.

The makeup of Congress right now, maybe not so much, but we attack the state level. So there are three states now where NDAs are completely banned for everything. New Jersey, California, and Washington State. At Lift Our Voices, we just introduced legislation in new york state and virginia so it's already having massive impact big companies that are based in those states are like hmm shit now we can't silence people in those states sorry i'm just so you're saying that malcolm caroline and brian are not currently They can't be silenced. Nope. Come on out here.

Let's hear your voice. You're Shirley. Come on out here. You stay back there. But Shirley, you're not there. In some way, they can't just say whatever they want. They can say whatever the hell they want.

But even if it's about something small, like the crazy demand somebody might have for what has to happen when they get to a hotel. That especially. But that's a secret. No. Because if somebody wants to seem relatable but have extreme demands for the kind of water that needs to be in the room. No.

What the fuck? I know. I think that's a great change. You can't do that shit anymore, John. No, people shouldn't and they can. And that's a really good thing. Whoever's doing that has to stop. But in all seriousness, companies that

are based in those states now, they have changed their policies globally, which is what we wanted them to do and we're hoping this domino effect would happen. So Microsoft, for example, based in Washington State, they look at their whole global system and they're like, oh, can't

silence people in New Jersey, California, and Washington State anymore. But what about our people in Idaho and China? Geez, I think we're just going to make it so that we don't silence anybody. Yay! That's what we were hoping was going to happen. And when we get New York passed with the financial institutions on Wall Street, hello. This is a huge reckoning. And we believe that as we educate workers about their rights and not to be silenced anymore, and we educate companies to get on the right side of history, this is the new wave of the future. This movement is not going away. I always say to companies, the train has left the station. Join me.

Join my fight at Lift Our Voices. Well, how could they, the train has left the station. Join me. Join my fight at Lift Our Voices. The train has left. Join me. Jump. Are you still on the platform? Yes. Where are you in the metaphor? Don't be so literal. I see your point. You understand what I'm saying. I understand your point, of course.

I think what you're doing is really important. Here's what I was coming back to. You want to sign NDAs. That's what you're doing is really important. But, like, here's what I was coming back to, which is really what I was... You want to sign NDAs. That's what you're coming back to. For these people over here. We'll deal with that. Listen, I'm learning a lot. So...

I hear your voice. Stop laughing. What I wanted to ask you about when I knew you were coming is... So, here was truly what was on my mind, which is, this is a fight about a power imbalance. You know, we had a joke, actually, I believe around the time that news about your settlement was breaking. There was a joke we told on this show about Roger Ailes. And here was the joke. Sure, in his professional life, he stoked hate and fear and lies for profit for political gain. But in private, he was actually also a monster. And the reason I say that is because in this fight,

you are fighting for inner power imbalance. You're fighting for people who need a stronger voice against really powerful interests. And my point of view is that Fox News, from its very inception, was about advocating for powerful interests against people actually who really do need a voice. And I actually appreciate that you've made some comments recently about Fox News being conspiratorial. But for, I think, a lot of people who listen to this show, we've been arguing that Fox News has been a dangerous propaganda outlet forever, that no recent change has made it fundamentally different, that it's always had that impact. Do you agree with that now, looking back? Not completely, because, listen, when I went there 17 years ago, I mean, that was a whole different situation.

I went there purely for the job. Like, I was a really driven person. I had killed myself in my television profession. My main goal was to do a five-day-a-week, Monday through Friday, national morning show. And I was doing the weekends at CBS. And the Fox thing came about. And honestly, this was well before we were talking about Fox

News in the way we do now. And so I went for the opportunity. My mom happened to be in New York City that day. And, you know, I grew up in Minnesota, so, you know, totally different culture. And she said to me, this must be one of the happiest days of your life. And I said, yeah, because from a career point of view, yeah, that was before all the hell happened. And I've said, John, I've said since I've not been there for six and a half years, there's no way in hell I could have ever survived there now. It's changed dramatically. And I did my small protests. I had to be so careful. Whenever you ask me these questions, my brain goes into overdrive because I've signed a nondisclosure, unfortunately. And I have to

make sure that my lawyer brain goes into like, oh, can I say this? Or can I not say this? I will say that I did small protests during the way. I walked off the set one time when they talked about how, oh, women can just do anything now. I fought for pay equity for women. Three weeks before I got fired, I came out in favor of reinstating the assault weapon ban. I surveyed my own viewers and 97% of them were against me. And in fact, when I got fired, people thought I got fired because I came out in favor of that gun ban. So, you know, the way I can describe it is that I was walking around there down the hallway with a knife in my back and the blood was dripping down and I was looking back every single moment and I had to be careful. I agree that Fox News has become an even worse version of itself. But in your tenure, Sean

Hannity, basically, maybe they reupholstered it. He's been sitting in the same chair since 1996. And I actually think he's been doing a similar performance since then. Glenn Beck was there while you were there, one of the most conspiratorial minded and horrible figures kind of set the path for what I think Fox News ultimately became across its prime time. Have you looked back at all and worried that you were lending your credibility to this, even if you did do acts of protest from time to time, that you were part of something that I couldn't work at a network that I glenned back on the air. And I don't know how you feel about it. I wish I could have my voice to tell you exactly how I feel about it. And

unfortunately, I can't. Other than to say that you should look at what's happening right now in the news with the Dominion lawsuit to see about what their own executives are admitting. And that might shed some light on hypothetically what was happening when I was there. Unfortunately, I'm muzzled from saying what my true point of view is, other than to show who I am through the work I'm doing now. And I think that that is paramount to what my legacy is going to be. And the millions of people that I am helping now, that I will never, ever meet. And that will be far more important than any interview that I've done with any

presidential candidate or current president of the United States. What I'm doing now is going to change the landscape of the American workplace, and I am far from being done with it. Yeah, I'm actually genuinely interested in this. I'm not trying to have some sort of... You want me to break my NDAs? No, I don't. I actually don't. That's what I mean. I'm trying to be respectful, because even in what you just said, there's something, I think, revealing about it, which is, I think the work I'm doing now is going to be more important than the work I did then. Underneath that, there's a feeling that you're trying to make right for what may have been happening when you were at Fox News.

No, it's not about that. I mean, it may be partially some implicit reason why I'm doing this. Really, the reason I'm doing this is because I heard from thousands of people across the country who were also survivors. And they had never been heard. And they said to me, thank you for being the voice for the voiceless. And I was like, holy shit, I owe it to these people to change this fucking world. Because they had all been pushed out. They had all been silenced. And I had the opportunity to stand up and be the voice for them.

And that is what I have been doing. I rolled up my sleeves and I got to work. And thank God that in my resolution with Fox News, although they've silenced me from being able to tell you on July 6th, you know, 2017, he did this or whatever. It doesn't really matter. 6th, you know, 2017, he did this or whatever. It doesn't really matter. Because in the end, I got a public apology from Fox News and the parent company. That never happens. And by the way, that's what all survivors want. They just want to be acknowledged, okay, and know that they were telling the truth. Number two, I got the opportunity to work on these issues. And I have taken full advantage of that. I am killing myself to make sure that

this is my legacy and that this is a safer place for millions of American workers. I am relentless on this. I will not stop until I get this done. Gretchen Carlson, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you for being here. Thank you. And Gretchen's coming back for the rant wheel, unless she leaves, unless you leave. You're a stay. No, I'm going to go back and have a vodka. Okay, great. And we're back. All right, well, we've touched on a number of serious topics tonight, so it's time to break it up with something a little lighter.

Here to discuss abortion access in the United States, it's the co-creator of The Daily Show, the very funny Liz Winstead. Hi, Liz. Hi. From Gretchen Carlson to Liz Winstead. Do I go here? Yeah, right here.

Was there weather? Those are two different fronts meeting backstage. But also, we're both from Minnesota. Oh. And also, did Gretchen tell you that Michelle Bachman was her babysitter? No, we didn't, that explains a lot. Yeah.

I just come out here with all the goods. What else do you want to tell us? I don't know. Who else babysat someone else? Well, Amy Klobuchar babysat Jesse Ventura. That's not fucking true. I was like, that doesn't work. Am I too comfortable right now on this cast?

That's like when Angelina Jolie played Colin Farrell's mother. That's like Amy Klobuchar being Jesse Ventura's babysitter. That's like Hollywood age. I know. Amy Klobuchar might have become president if she just wore shorts like Fetterman in the snow.

I feel like no one talks about what happened, what went wrong. No one talks about that. Not enough people are saying it. I'm here to bring that because here's the deal. Remember the snowstorm? Of course you do. And everybody was like, isn't it amazing that she was in the snow? And I was like, no, she's

fucking wearing ballet flats. She can't help pull anybody out of the car. It was a fucking rookie move to be in Minnesota wearing ballet flats in a snowstorm and then playing it over and over again. Look at me. I'm looking at you and I'm looking at your feet and if I'm stuck, you're fucking useless. It don't mean to just

come out here hot. And I've said this to her. And I'm glad you have. And here's the thing. I think that a lot of people were thinking tonight, what was up with Amy Klobuchar's shoes at her announcement speech in 2020

I just like to talk about what's wrong with the media and that's your bread and butter so let's hear it hey Liz quick question what's wrong with the media you know it's so much what's wrong with the media at this moment is that I forgot my beer backstage, but that really

isn't the media's fault. That's me. A Modelo, please. Can somebody... I think you all are great. Thanks. Caroline, everybody. Not her job, everybody. I know. Look at me. Actually, it's no one's job to bring a beer on stage for Liz, but it's happening. See? Did you think that...

Did you think I was going to be this person? I didn't think you weren't. Okay. I will say this. In fact, I'm unclear I'm this person? I didn't think you weren't. Okay. I will say this. In fact, I'm unclear I'm this person. I'm just like ordering people around. Bring me both. You are so nice. Thank you.

I really appreciate it. Do you have a uterus on your shirt? What? Oh, it's a dog. Or it could be a uterus. That's really good. So you just, listen, that's a great segue because you've got one thing on the brain. That's a picture of a dog.

Her hair was covering oh so bizarre. Is that one of those uteruses that barks? Kind of four legs, one of those uteruses? I don't think you really understand when someone's uterus is barking that that is terminal. And it shouldn't be joked about. Is that the kind of thing you say at the end of a long day? I'm about to cancel you. the kind of thing you say at the end of a long day? It doesn't mean you say at the end of a long day, boy, my uterus is barking.

The utes are barking. Hey, you know what's great? My first question was... What I say is my utes are dusty. I rent it out in New York for storage for people. I have to make the most of things. I'm not sure I needed another beer.

I'm sorry. Speaking of California, so you're... Let's talk about abortion. You know, my first question was, how do you make abortion funny? We did it. So you're here for a fundraiser for your organization, Abortion Access Front.

What should we here in the blue states be doing? It's twofold, right? So for folks who don't understand what's going on, it's bad. But I think real bad. Somebody gets up and walks out? Oh, yeah. So Minnesota, California, New York, Illinois are sort of the four sort of pillars of where not only is abortion access available, states are codifying, but there's just simply not enough providers trained. when polled, 70% of med students say they did not get accurate gynecological care. And 90% of people going to med school just studying general medicine say they didn't get any. So we have a real shortage. And now that we have a shortage of, one of the things we should do is

make sure that advanced practitioners, LPNs, physician's assistants can practice care in these states so we can have more people doing it. We really have to look at – I don't know if you all are aware that any moment now some rogue judge in Texas is going to make a ruling where he thinks it's going to stick but it's really kind of bullshit. Trying to ban one of the medications in medication abortion, right? Something that shouldn't be taken lightly. And back to really your media point, we don't talk about what's going on with abortion consistently enough to really educate folks on what they need to do.

Abortion funds need funds. The people who drive people need funds. Organizations like mine, like we travel around the country, do shows like this, comedy music shows in Birmingham, in Oklahoma City. And then we bring the providers and the activists on stage so the audience can hear what needs to be done. And we hook them up.

So we're growing activist bases. Through that, and this is the part that was an unhappy accident, I guess. We stay for four or five days. accident, I guess, we stay for four or five days and we do this crazy clinics in these states can't get plumbers or people to fix their fences or their gardens. So we do all that shit at the clinic, like some habitats for humanity for abortion providers. You're not, you personally are not doing the plumbing. You're plumbing? I don't do plumbing, but I do the gardening.

Okay. The painting. That's a relief. That's a relief. Just for their sake. I just have a, just the energy is not that one where I would trust you

under a sink. Not in a bad way. I just don't think, I'm just saying. Did I mention I'm from Minnesota? We get shit done. Okay.

Yeah. Just saying, you came out and lay down on the couch and asked for a beer. Like a plumber. Like a fucking union plumber. Okay, all right.

All right. All right. You don't know any plumbers. But Okay, all right. All right. All right. You don't know any plumbers. But no, here's what's crazy. So in getting to know all these folks that work at the clinics, the escorts, and the people who are doing the funding,

they know these extremists by name. And so after touring, and we've been to like 70 cities, we said, is anybody creating a database of all these people outside of your clinic? And they were like, no. So we started a database. We now have the largest anti-abortion extremist database in the nation.

We busted 30 of them at the insurrection and turned their names over to the FBI. And if you've seen in the paper that about 20 of them over the course of the past three months have been brought up on federal charges, it's because of our videotaping and our evidence. So we're out there doing it. Not a snitches get stitches crowd, but that's okay. So you mentioned the media and how difficult it is to get them to cover the substance of what's actually happening. And I struggle with this too. There's a way in which the current landscape processes news very, very quickly. And so there is a ruling, there's Dobbs, or there's going to be a ruling on Mifepristone.

And the news covers it. They do. They focus on it. They'll talk to people about it. They'll have a debate about it. But then by the time you get to day two, day three, you're already on the conversation about the conversation. You're about the analysis. Right now, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, states across the country have or are about to pass laws that are extremely draconian,

whether it's about drag shows or trans kids or what can be taught in schools. And the debate that plays out in major outlets is much more about the kind of meta context of what constitutes bias, what is considered objective, what is accurate. As someone who I think has been, like you were the co-creator of The Daily Show, you started Air America Radio, you've been at the forefront of trying to figure out how to yoke this conversation to the left. What have you learned about how to make the media, the broader media, how to work the refs? Yeah. I think with, like you said, so much shit happening fast and furious, I think the expectation of the media to talk about it as much as that needs to be talked about is pretty rough. But what happens is this is not new,

But what happens is this is not new, right? I started Abortion Access Front when I watched Wendy Davis. And when I realized that, remember how horrible we thought that Texas law was? What America didn't know is that 25 other states dropped that same law. It was a piece of model legislation. And so I drove around the country doing fundraisers before I started the org. And so for me, knowing that there's trend pieces to be told about what happens when language is muddy around rape and life of the mother exceptions, what does that look like? All of a sudden people are being transported out of

states and physicians aren't providing care because they're unclear if they're going to lose their licenses. I have a podcast, a weekly podcast called Feminist Buzzkills, where we talk about this shit every week because somebody's got to talk about it every week. Because I think what happens too is the horse race gets talked about, the sort of, like you said, the meta, but sometimes I think people aren't talking to the right people. First of all, they're rarely talking to folks who've had abortions. They're rarely talking to the providers and they're talking to either generalists or people who are running big national organizations who aren't on the ground and don't have the insight and can't really passionately. Storytelling when it comes to abortion, I think is very profound. And so

bringing facts and being able to say, I've been to 197 clinics. The people that work at those clinics can't drive home the same way in a single week. There's anti-abortion extremists who put up wanted posters in their neighborhoods with their addresses and say a baby murderer lives here, doxes them. These folks don't tell their own doctors what they do for a living because they fear they might get inferior, if not harmful, care. And so when you humanize folks, which you don't very much when talking about abortion, it becomes very larger and bigger. And what does it mean? People want to learn more. Because the truth be told, we also have just been as women, I've had so many guys go, God, it's really hard what you're doing out there. It's like, where the fuck are you? Like, it would be nice if you showed

up and actually understood and supported the humanity of your neighbor, right? So not to get heavy, but I do think it's super important that we say the word and we talk about it and recenter it in its proper place of a moral choice that somebody might make in their medical history. And that doubting anybody who has an abortion is profoundly stigmatizing. And I wish we had a president that could be a little bit more passionate and show that Joe Biden compassion in the way he can for other things. But I think his own moral compass isn't there. And that's a little bit troubling just in the scope of things. So Joe Biden, if you're listening, if you had a little conversation, honestly, like with folks who've had abortions, it may change you forever.

Yeah, with Joe Biden, it's a bit like steering a tanker, you know? You gotta start the turn so much earlier than you think. You know what I'm saying? That's why I gotta drink while I do these shows. I feel you. Am I bumming you out? No. I mean, the world is bumming me out, but you're wonderful. I expect it a lot, and it's better than I expected. Oh, good! You know what I'm saying?

You know, set the bar low and you always win. But so, I was thinking about the fact that The Daily Show is created. It starts with Craig Kilbourne. It was perfect for the era it was created. It was this kind of acerbic, kind of jokey show. It evolves with Jon Stewart and becomes more of a commentary on the media. It evolves with Trevor Noah, who has this great outsider's perspective on the division with his own experience about the

divisions that are roiling America. It's one of the most kind of important comedic voices in politics. What do you hope to see The Daily Show evolve into next as someone who's been watching it and part of it from the very beginning? I don't know that the question is what do I wish I saw? Because when we launched, we launched based on the media we had, right? Which was local news. There was one cable network, you know, two months after we launched MSNBC launched and then three months after Fox launched, right?

I might just be clear when Daily Show launched, it was like the most magical and perfect. When the ads for what the Daily Show would be had just Craig Kilbourne's voice doing jokes over. When news we fix it i was like whatever this is that was the tagline it was amazing and whenever and i was like i was so as a just sort of engaged very lonely teen i was so i was literally sitting and making little card towers with decks of cards i feel super old you want to stop i'm sorry okay you're great. I think what I'm saying is because that was the media and we were satirizing the media, what I hope for the show is that it pays as close of attention as it always has to holding up a mirror to the media.

And as the media evolves, like, what does that look like? It's almost a question that I can't answer because I don't even know how people watch it anymore, right? Like I was just on last Monday night with Sarah Silverman. I was just a guest. And there's not a single person I know that watched it that night. Everyone's like, I saw you the next day. I watched it the next day. And so how people even consume media now, it's tricky because you're not satirizing the specific kind of thing.

You know, the Stone Phillips kind of. because you're not satirizing the specific kind of thing. You know, the Stone Phillips kind of... I mean, when we launched, there was fucking 17 news magazines on network news. 17. What a golden era. It was a golden era. 2020, Hugh Downs, Barbara Walters.

Eye to eye, coast to coast, face to face. The fucking best. Butt to butt, tongue to tongue. Hell yeah. Tongue to butt. It was a lot of shows. A lot of shows. All happening.

Tongue to tongue. Tongue to butt was not a show. Tongue to butt. But at least it wasn't a news show. It was a lot of shows. A lot of shows. All happening. Tongue to tongue. Tongue to butt was not a show. Tongue to butt. But at least it wasn't a news show. It was something. Probably on Hunter Biden's laptop. Who knows? But, you know, whatever.

I don't know. What? I haven't seen it. Like, why would I want to see it? It's so weird. Those people beg to see Hunter Biden's laptop. It's like, are you just running his OnlyFans page? Like, what is wrong with you?

He didn't post it. I don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand. Very confused about those people. But anyway. Yeah. So. You know that when Air America launched, I bought a radio to listen to it.

Were you 11? Shut up. I wasn't. No, you're like, you know, when the Daily Show launched, I was changing my own diapers because my mom left me for dead. I was like, Goo Goo Gaga. Who's this Craig Gilborn fellow? You know, my favorite Daily Show story.

Do you want to know my favorite Daily Show story? Please. Okay. So the network desperately wanted the Daily Show to be like a wacky entertainment satire. And like, I just was like, no. I was kind of a thorn in their side. And so they would always say like, can you make it more lead? No.

So some Applebee's wanted to sponsor a fake commercial that we were doing. And so I was like, I don't think that's a good idea. And they were like, stop it. Just stop saying no. The network was really mad. And I was like, can I just say? And they were like, no. The network was like really mad. And I was like, can I just say, and they were like, no. Applebee's is sponsoring this ad.

And I was like, okay. The ad was this weather satire called Don't Go There. So for 30 seconds on the screen, it just said, Applebee's, don't go there. And they were like, what? And Applebee's, don't go there. And they were nuts. And I was like, I, you know,

a broken clock is right twice, I don't know, that maybe doesn't apply. But, yeah, so that's my favorite thing of just being like, well, maybe you should listen to me. Are you okay? I'm great. I just can't.

Don't go there. I don't know what to say. That will be. What can people do? Before we let you go, what can people do to support your organization? What is the most helpful thing for people hearing this? The most helpful thing, of course, donate. AAfront.org.

I'll obviously say that. But a really helpful thing is one of the programs we have is called Operation Save Abortion. a really helpful thing is one of the programs we have is called Operation Save Abortion. And if you're somebody who, when Ro fell and you were like, oh my God, I don't know what to do, that's a failing of our movement, right? So we created a series where you can, I highly recommend gathering your friends. And we have all these experts from different fields, abortion funding, legislative work, direct action work, helping clinics. And you can watch all of this series. It's really cool.

There's a workbook you do. And then you can figure out all the different ways to help. And then we will hook you up locally and nationally with an organization that is on the ground where you live. And also we have an activist calendar. You can get involved there.

So go to operationsofabortion.com, donate some money, join us in the streets. We do a lot of really fun shit. Liz Wen said, before you go, I just want you to understand that when I described what I was doing,

it wasn't that I was so young. It was that I was older than you think and a loser. No. Well, the fact is, what I love is that you were like, when Air America came on, I bought a radio.

Because I was living in New York and I didn't have a radio, so I went and bought one so that I could listen to the very first day because it meant so much to me. Remember how wild that day was? I remember it was Bebe Neuwirth pretending to be Ann Coulter in a closet that Al Franken was hosting. And I was

so excited about the prospect of this progressive radio station. It was very cool. And I was temping as a paralegal and I had like, I literally, I don't think I worked that day. And I went and got pizza and sat in front of my radio and listened to the first day of Air America Radio. It was a big deal to me. It was really fun. It started with Al's show.

And then we didn't start till the second day. But yeah, that was. Yeah, it started at noon. That's when I tuned in. Because that's when I got the pizza. They opened just in time. It's so wild to think back. I know we have to go.

Now you said that. I'm just going to ponder silently while you transition out from me. When we come back, Kara Swisher is here. Thank you so much. That was great. And Liz will be back for the rant wheel.

That was great. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, God. Now for another word from our sponsor. Hey, hey, Hollywood. It doesn't seem like you guys are listening. We've told you what Ozempic is.

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the air until we run out of fuel. But let's come back to Earth here. Ozempic only keeps the weight off for as long as you keep taking it, and we still don't know what the risks of long-term use might be. So maybe just leave it on the shelf for the people who need it, okay, you monsters? Jesus. Ozempic. Honestly, we

thought having to inject it would slow you sickos down. When we come back, swish swish. And we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the one, the only, Cara Swisher. Cara, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for hanging out. please welcome the one, the only, Kara Swisher. Kara. Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for hanging out.

I'm sliding back because you have a confident, relaxed posture of a powerful lesbian. Yeah, okay. Does that trigger you? It intimidates me. Really? It intimidates me. Yeah, I find you incredibly intimidating. Okay.

You're famously intimidating. Really? That's ridiculous. You think that's ridiculous? Yes, I do. You've been saying Kara Swisher is intimidating. Yes. Ridiculous sentence. Yes, I intimidating. Okay. You're famously intimidating. Really? That's ridiculous. You think that's ridiculous? Yes, I do. You've been saying Kara Swisher is intimidating. Yes. It's a ridiculous sentence. Yes, I do.

Okay. I have three topics for you. I love this. I could beat the shit out of you, but go ahead. I have three topics for you. Section 230. Yeah. AI and Elon.

All right? Briefly. Here we go. First, section 230. Yes. On the one hand, it made the modern internet possible. Yeah. and Elon, briefly. Here we go, first. Section 230. On the one hand, it made the modern internet possible. On the other hand, it made the modern internet possible.

You've been following Section 230 from the very beginning. It predates the modern internet in a lot of respects. Sort of, yeah. Well, it predates the kind of algorithmic Google world. This is something that was done to kind of protect the early internet companies when people were first figuring out how to post. Yes, because they were getting sued. Because they were getting sued.

Yeah. Can you just explain briefly what the current debate over Section 230 is? Then I want to kind of dive into it a little bit. Well, the one on the Supreme Court? Just even before we get to the Supreme Court, so people understand just the broadest of strokes what Section 230 is. Section 230 is 26 words, I think. It's a very short thing. It was part of a bigger bill called the Communications Decency Act, which I won't go into, but Fawn Hall was involved from Oliver North, and they were trying to clean up the internet from child pornography. But most

of the Communications Decency Act was declared unconstitutional, except for this one section. And so what it does is it just gives, in a very simple case, a very broad immunity for these platforms. And so if you wrote something libelous, you were responsible, not the platform, not AOL or whoever. And it's because there were several cases. There was one, I think it was Prodigy versus someone or other. And so they got sued a lot. And so they would have been sued out of business because people put all kinds of things on there. And so it protected them, gave them broad immunity to have these open platforms and would encourage them to moderate them too, because in moderation, they would have been liable without this law. And so it was a good thing to protect them to grow.

Right. That's a really important point, right? So right now, a lot of the debate about Section 230 is around, hey, why won't these internet companies, why are they leaving this horrible stuff up? Right. But when it was first passed, it was that companies were afraid to take things down. They were. They were afraid that if they took something down from the internet. Or leave them up. Or leave them up.

Yeah. Suddenly it would mean they were kind of being editorial. That's correct. And if they did any kind of moderation at all, suddenly they'd be liable for anything anyone said anywhere on the internet. Right. And if they were liable for something on their platform, there'd be a sense that before anything goes up, somebody would have to see it. Right. And so it was onerous from a financial perspective, too.

This stuff was flooding. It's like a tsunami of information. And as it got bigger, it was even more. And so they passed this law and it was very useful. These companies got huge and they weren't sued in any way. And then there started to be little bits around sex trafficking and different things like that. And people lost their minds about that. And now these cases are about terrorism, essentially. And so are the platforms responsible for the terrorists who post on it and then make people angry and then create terrorist acts, et cetera, et cetera?

And so that's what this one's about, these two cases. One's Twitter, one's Google, and one's Twitter. And there are differences between the two. So just to step back for a second, they were always – they couldn't leave illegal things up, right? You couldn't have crimes taking place on the platform. Correct. They've left them up, but yes. But they're not supposed to.

They're not supposed to. Certain things, there's violence But they're not supposed to. They're not supposed to. Certain things, there's violence, et cetera, et cetera. They're supposed to take down. But what's happening now in front of the Supreme Court is people are testing how far Section 230 goes with respect to incitement to violence. Should we sideline it the way they did sex trafficking? You know, they're trying to chip away at it and get some kind of ability to sue these companies. ship away at it and get some kind of ability to sue these companies. And I have to say, I don't know, I'm curious what your perspective is,

but in just listening to the arguments unfold in front of the Supreme Court, I can't think of a group of people I am less excited to be in charge of this topic than those nine fucking lawyers. Can I just say you? They don't want to be in charge of it either. Yeah, they don't either. They don't want to touch it. Elena Kagan was sort of going for comedy. It's like there couldn't be nine worse people to decide this.

And by the way, they all agreed. Every single one of them for the first time were like, even Clarence Thomas was like, this ain't our stuff. I don't even understand this. It doesn't usually stop them. That is true. But I have to say, he happened to be, he actually was like, okay, he's not stupid when I was listening to him. All of them seemed to say, this is Congress's. Why is this in front of us?

Of course, they accept it as a case, but they were trying every which way not. From Judge Jackson to Alito, they all seemed to agree, like, what the fuck seemed to be the general legal definition of what was happening. Stepping back from this, so just so everyone understands, what's happening is basically the question is, okay, all these companies have a kind of protection that no other companies really have. There's no other law that says, hey, if somebody uses your product to hurt people, you're not responsible. Just the person who used it is responsible. The gun manufacturers, but okay, sure.

But just in general, generally speaking in terms of speech, they have an extraordinary amount of protection for what happens. They do. It is a really tough, thorny, difficult topic. You can't remove it. It would collapse the internet. Right. So if you remove Section 230, the internet collapses because they can't- Under lawyers and lawsuits and everything. But at the same time, everyone recognizes that the current system isn't working. Right. And so there's other ways to do it. You have passed privacy legislation,

which Europe certainly has, California has, but our Congress doesn't seem to be able to do in, I don't know, 20 years. You pass antitrust legislation. There was a very good bill by Amy Klobuchar that Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell shoved in the back of the closet, even though it was supposed to be passing. There's a transparency bill that also Klobuchar was involved in. There's all kinds of bills that you could attack the problem through their advertising and data thievery, and they don't. Right. But I'm just curious what you think about this, because I've heard you talk about this, I've heard other people talk about it, this idea that we should do antitrust, I believe that, we should definitely have a privacy law, I agree with that.

But these seem like bank shots. They're not. A privacy bill goes to the heart of their business plan. The issue is their business plan. But that's what I mean, right. But what that does is, as a bank shot, it says, a business plan based on attention. Right. Because it's about keeping you on the platform a long time. That's what I mean, right? But what that does is as a bank shot, it says a business plan based on attention. Right. Because it's about keeping you on the platform a long time. That's right.

And so they'd spend a lot of time not taking things down. Because extremists. I've said this to you a million times. Engagement equals enragement. Like that is what happens. What I'm saying is that that is a means of trying to get these companies to build algorithms that are less focused on sensationalism, misinformation. No, I support it completely, but it does still, it is a way of trying to get these companies to address this

issue. The core issue we're discussing, which is basically where their responsibility for having a safe internet begins. I'm talking about all of them together. Like they have to pass an antitrust bill. So you create all kinds of competition. They have to pass a privacy bill because I can't fucking believe the United States of America doesn't have a basic privacy bill. A transparency bill, what's going into these things? What are you seeing? What data are you getting? What is the impact?

And then a transparency of things like what is the actual effect on teen girls? Let's not just talk about it and pontificate about it. What is it? What's happening? What are you seeing? And so you start to do that and you create a situation. Like, look, they didn't put away Al Capone on what he did. They put away on taxes. There's other ways to get at these companies

in a significant way versus taking away something that will just wreck the internet for everybody. The question that popped up during the Supreme Court debate, which I do think is an interesting and it's an important question, maybe to your point, not one that these people or even Congress essentially answer is, when do they stop being a platform? When do they stop being basically pipes? And when do they start becoming editorial in terms of their algorithms? There's more cases coming. There's obviously the Texas case where they think that, see, the problem is the Republicans think they take down too much and the Democrats think they don't take down enough. And so there's all these First Amendment issues that are

going to come up. These people have no business doing any editorial. They're literally as close to a litter as it gets for educated people. Yes, yeah. And so they're making major editorial decisions when they have no qualifications. And they're sort of like, okay.

It's literally like that all the time. Can you just preview? I don't think people understand this. So there was a sense, I think, out of what's been happening in the Supreme Court. Wow, there's like some, it's actually an interesting case. It doesn't seem ideological. It's not a 6-3 decision. There's a bunch of interesting questions that all the judges seem to be asking. They're kind of in alignment here. They're going to toss them. And they're going to toss them. But there are cases coming. So these cases are about, hey, you shouldn't have left this stuff

up. But the Texas case is about Texas' ability to say, hey, you shouldn't have left this stuff up. But the Texas case is about Texas' ability to say, hey, you're taking too much stuff down. And that's a case where Clarence Thomas, for example, he's been the vanguard for what the conservative court has done. He thinks they should be utilities and should be treated like utilities. And that's a whole different thing. He has a whole utility theory that's kind of stupid. But the idea is that they're utilities and should be regulated like utilities, which is different than how other companies are regulated. That is what it means to repeal 230, right?

That's not what's going to happen. Those cases will probably get thrown out too, because on First Amendment grounds, companies have First Amendment rights too. And they can decide what they want to do. And they just say, we just want to take it down because we feel like it. And what happens when Clarence Thomas says, well, the First Amendment says Congress shall make no law and that Texas is free to do this? It's just not going to go. Okay. Well, that's reassuring.

Yeah. All right. Let's talk about AI for a second. Sure. Which one? Well, you know, you did a fascinating interview with someone named Trey Stevens. Yep.

About? Defense. About defense. Now, we've had a lot of fun. You know, there's Biden AI. There's people who are, hey, Chad GBT, give me a poem about defense. Now, we've had a lot of fun. There's Biden AI. There's people who are, hey, Chad GBT, give me a poem about diarrhea in the style of E.E. Cummings. And it's like, wow, that's cool.

For example. Yeah. And there's 100 other ideas. I'm so glad. Saturday night must have been fun at your house. Go ahead. I'm sorry. Are you taking a you look great

it's as if she's doing the fucking game at me she's negging me she's peacocking and you know what it's working I'll follow you wherever you want you've got me on the hook I just did an interesting interview with Audie Cornish and she said I treat men like some men treat women so

is that what you think this is? No. No, this is just a flat out negging, so. Negging is just another word for bullying. You bully me. Oh, stop it.

You love bullying me. You love bullying me. I don't, I don't, I don't. You don't? Then why do you do it? No, because it's so easy. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

You look great as Zempik. I'm not on as Zempik. I wish. I know you're not. I know you like to poop. I wish. I know the dis... How do you even get it?

Those of us who like to poop are not on Zempik. But go ahead. Whatever. You had this conversation. Yeah. Trey Stevens, he started a company that is making these AI weapons. Yeah. And I found the conversation chilling,

specifically in the way that he euphemistically refers to what they're trying to do. And there was a moment when he describes trying to take the dirty tasks away from people, which presumably meant shooting people. That's correct. What was your reaction to having that conversation? Well, I think one of the things you have to realize that, look, everything that can be digitized will be digitized, and that includes defense. And there are a lot of mistakes made in defense by people, right? And so his concept is the correct people will be killed if we do it this way versus sort of spray and pray, which is a lot of the ways

they do this now from far away. And so the idea is we will hit the exact spot if AI is in charge versus humans. And they have all kinds of things. It's not just that. It's surveillance stuff. It's, you know, essentially it's just selfie sticks across the border watching things. They go to places they shouldn't go. Things are cows when, and then they send out a team. Every time you send out a team, it's dangerous. And so you know more about what's going on using AI.

Same thing's happening, whether it's radiology. Radiologists are kind of useless at this point. AI reads it better. And so what will AI replace is things that often can be digitized. And that's why you're getting all the attention around chat GPT, which is I'm having a problem with the media coverage of it because there's two strains of stories. One is college students are going to do term papers.

I'm like, you're kidding. College students cheat on term papers. I've never heard of such a thing. You did such a great mid-Atlantic expert. Thank you. There was like a hip burnout here for a second. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And then the other one now is, I hate to say this,

all male reporters trying to date this AI. And so, and get them into, like, they're in a version of Her. Remember Her? Yeah, I remember it. Which I hated that movie. I ran into Spike Jonze. He goes,

Kara, I want to know what you think. I went, eh. And he's like, what? I go, what? Fall in love with the AI. Wow, what an incredible breakthrough you had there, Scott. In any case, the coverage is that.

So they're trying to do edge cases. They're trying to do edge cases of ridiculousness when actually it's quite serious what's happening here. And so I think the media is doing a disservice because there's all sorts of really fascinating things that are going to happen through this decision making. It's already been written a lot about judging and criminal things. It's around insurance, around grading, around job listings. It's going to start to really infect everything, both good and bad.

It's sort of the beginning of the internet and we cannot conceive of the things. Like if you would, someone years ago when the internet started, they said, Carol, what's the internet? I said, everything. And they're like, what do you mean? I go, everything. I don't know what to tell you. And this is everything. And so it's a question of what will it replace? And it'll probably replace most rote things. It's not going to replace you, John. It's just not. It's not. It's not. It's stupid to think that way. And that's where the media goes initially. And creativity is very hard to replace. All it is, what you're hearing is you talking back to us. So it's a reflection, not you in particular, but the data is us. We are the data. And it's just essentially plagiarizing us and reassembling it. And that's what it's doing. And if you think of it that way, it's a very different thing. Yes, I agree with that, though I do think it's a fuzzy line. I mean, in a lot of senses, what creativity is, is synthesizing what we experience

in the world and making something new from the things we've seen and heard. Sure. But they're really good plagiarists and not that good at it. And so to think that it's sentient, it's not. It's not sentient. It's not sentient. It's not. One thing that I always think about, I thought about it when I was listening to the interview with Trey Stevens, who was very, very careful. Just my feeling of listening to that conversation, it has the sense of someone who in 15 or 20 years will apologize for what they were doing during this period of time. But what I was struck by is- I wouldn't agree because I think defense has not bathed itself in glory of how it conducts war now. Well, this is the point I want to ask.

So random and stately. This is putting this one example aside. It's interesting the way in which we, how differently we react to human mistakes versus AI mistakes. There was that plane that it landed poorly a few years ago at San Francisco. And it hit the ground really hard and two people died. And I remember some experts saying if it had been raining and foggy, if the weather had been terrible, everyone would have been alive because the pilots wouldn't have landed themselves. The plane would have landed itself. And I remember when Elon started talking about the fact that we were six days away from permanent self-driving cars in 2015.

Yeah. But what I remember thinking is like, at some point, someone's going to point out how many pets get killed by cars every year. Sure. We hold AI to a higher standard right now. We can't make any mistakes. But people can.

Yes. Do you think that that is going to change? Yeah, I think after a while. I think, you know, they talk about like accidents with AI. Listen, I have to tell you, Elon's not telling you the truth about when it's coming, just so you know. It's not coming for a very long time. Five people just died of shock. I know.

Pretty much everything out of his mouth now is somewhat of a lie or a really offensive thing. But I think it will be able to make sense. But one car using, say, self-driving, this is in the future, makes a mistake, all the cars learn. One human makes a mistake, nobody learns, just that human. And they don't really learn.

They do it again and again and again. And so I think that's what's powerful about it. But it's very similar to when the internet started, when there'd be a story about everyone who has a website. You remember those, so-and-so. When there's an accident with AI, it will be much rarer. People are a real problem behind the wheel.

They are. They just are. They shouldn't be doing it. And then you can text and drink while you drive. And that's when we'll win everybody over. Yeah. As Halle Berry said in the film Cloud Atlas when she was looking through her-

You watched that, wow. What do you like, watch all the bad movies? As Halle Berry said in the film Cloud Atlas when she was looking through a fruit cut. You watched that. Wow. What do you like? Watch all the bad movies. As Halle Berry said in the film Cloud Atlas, which is good, she is looking through a sack of papers and a character says, what are you looking for? And she says in an actual sentence that's meant to be what a person would say, I'm trying to figure out why we keep making the same mistakes. What? I don't even understand that.

It doesn't make any sense. This is like listening to Tar, but go ahead. What happened there? I was waiting for her to make out with a woman. You're supposed to love that movie. I hate it. There's no making out with Kate Blanchett. Speaking of Elon, before I let you go.

Carol was another thing. Elon emailed you. Your Netflix for you is just Kate Blanchett as a lesbian. Over and over and over again. We have different for you pages. And that's the beauty of the algorithm. Elon Musk. Yes.

He emailed you and he called you, quote, an asshole. Yes, an asshole. Yes. He called you an asshole. You're an asshole was the subject line. And have you spoken since? No. And now you have since said that basically.

We talked a lot, by the way. You used to talk a lot, and that was the last correspondence you had. Yes, he's done it before. We had a situation four years ago. And the point that you've made is you're not interested in talking to him. No, because now I have an ending to my memoir, but go ahead. interested in talking to him. No, because now I have an ending to my memoir, but go ahead. And also, you were

upset by the fact that he issued this horrible smear of Paul Pelosi, basically spreading this Don Jr. anti-gay ridiculous made-up stuff. Especially now that we've seen the video, which I refuse to watch because I don't watch those videos. We've checked in on this

from time to time. I have found it impossible to defend the proposition that Elon Musk is a moron on the internet but a genius in real life. Do you still believe that proposition? The stuff he's doing around SpaceX and Tesla is under siege from other cars. That's going to be gone in five years because everyone's catching up. He's got a manufacturing and technology advantage right now, but it's not going to last. So that's over. He's got to really compete there. With the rockets, the stuff he's doing is amazing.

It's really quite amazing. He's lowered the prices. Oddly enough, I was at this party in Washington, and a top Ukrainian official came up to me and says, how can you help us get Elon to stop geofencing things? And I was like, he thinks I'm an asshole. I can't help you. But that's where we are, that they're asking me to convince him not to geofence them.

He's got power you cannot understand. Like right now with Starlink and the rockets and the cars, he's really powerful and an important player on the scene. But as a person, he's given into what was 10% of his personality is now almost 99%, which was really vile. And here it is. It's out. And he has enablers around him at all times who are all paid by him, who don't tell him the truth. And oddly enough, I've had a lot of people close to him call me and say, thank you for doing this.

It might have an impact, but I don't think it will at all. Yeah, I think it's similar. That's not what got me mad. He called me an asshole because I retweeted a Washington Post story that said... Which you were defending him. I was defending him. He's either moving towards Howard Hughes' territory, which I think could be, and he's actually taking a Hosempic. He talks

about it, actually. Yeah. Or whatever. He looks good. Well, okay, sure. I mean, better than before. Well, that wasn't good. But he's either moving toward Howard Hughes' territory, or he will succeed again. And I just interviewed Mark Benioff two hours ago, and he was like, well, there are good things.

He can land a rocket on a surfboard. I'm like, and be racist and misogynistic and homophobic. And he's like, well, people are, you know, there's two sides. I was like, I don't think so. It's really going to be hard. We'll see where it goes. Kara Swisher. No problem. I love to see... I didn't say thank you. Thank you. Kara Swisher, I love to see... Thank you so much for being

here. No problem. Everybody, go listen on with Kara Swish. It'll make you smarter. Do I go off and come back on? You stay right here. Okay. You stay right here. We've had a lot of incredible substantive conversations today brought to you by Ozempic.

We want to apologize for calling you a bunch of sickos and monsters earlier. We've been thinking about it, and you know what? You didn't deserve that. We're all just scrambling to meet impossible expectations in a society that we've designed to trap most people in sedentary, extremely stressful lifestyles with limited access to anything but processed foods that taste fucking incredible.

At first, we tried telling everyone to hate their bodies and lose weight, but then we realized that we were trying to solve a societal problem with personal responsibility. So we told everyone to love their bodies the way they were, and that was a little better, but it still placed a burden on individuals to tune out the society that, whoops, still wants fat people to get skinny or hate themselves. And preaching

radical self-acceptance is like demanding that everyone use reusable bags to fight climate change. Sure, a good thing to do, but there are larger forces at play here. The corn syrup oceans are rising, so don't hate the player, hate the game. But until we dismantle the game, how cool would it be to never want Cinnabon again?

Oh, Zempik. I, John Lovett, am going to take it. Once there's enough supply for people with diabetes, but really, once I know for sure that none of the celebs have pooped out their kidneys. Just kidding. Maybe. but really once I know for sure that none of the celebs have pooped out their kidneys just kidding maybe when we come back miss pat don't go anywhere this is love it or leave it and there's more on the way and we're back. Listen, has this been a serious show so far?

A little bit. It's time to get even more serious. No, it's not. Here to lie directly to our audience's faces, it's the incredibly funny, the phenomenal, your favorite comedian and mine, Miss Pat. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. How are you?

Just fine. Welcome, welcome. How y' having me. How are you? Just fine. Welcome, welcome. How y'all doing? How you doing? I think I said fine. I'm doing fine. How are you doing? I'm over 50, so I'm sleepy.

We're all sleepy. All right, so you're from Atlanta. Yes, born and raised. Who is your favorite politician in your hometown right now? Stacey Abrams, but she keeps losing. Yeah, it's tough. I know, it's tough. It's tough.

We want her to win. I want her to win, too, but it's something that's scaring Atlanta with that little afro she got. They won't vote for her. You think that's what it is? Yeah, the afro scare white people when it's not moist. So if she would put a little more grease in it, the white people feel

a little safer. Where the fuck were you in October? What are we supposed to do? Great advice. It's too fucking late. Everybody's trying to help her win. I voted for her. That's not enough. It didn't work. She lost by more than one vote. Well, she know

to comb her fucking hair. I'm just saying. You act like I made her lose. I wear a wig. Thank you to the person in the middle. Everybody else think I'm being rude and shit. I'm like,

you can't be no big old black lady with no small afro. You got to balance the shit out. Don't you see me with hair on my head because I'm a big ass black woman. I want you to know something. What? I'm not going to comment on any of this.

I'm not going to say a fucking thing this I'm not going to say a fucking thing You better not god damn it I will eat your little white ass It's been a long time since I ate a white man But I gotta say y'all tip well. I just saw you pussy and you didn't even catch it. Now, Miss Pat is an incredible storyteller. That wasn't no story. That was a truth.

I'm just trying to transition out without so much as hinting at a comment of what you'd been saying. Oh, okay, okay, okay. For my own safety. It's so good, in fact, it's actually nearly impossible to know where her real life ends

and the bit begins. So we're going to need a volunteer to play a game, a game we're calling Two Truths and a Lie with Miss Pat. All right, here's how it works. I'm going to read three log lines of stories. Two are real stories from Miss Pat's life, and one is one we made up. If you correctly guess which one is false,

you get to ask Miss Pat to tell the story of your choosing. She won't listen. You can tell whatever fucking story you want. That's the beauty of it. It's barely a game at all. Okay. Hi, what's your name? Vicky.

Vicky? All right. Here are three entirely true things about Miss Pat. You have to choose which one you think is the lie, all right? Okay. Miss Pat was attacked by an escaped cougar, kicked out of her coupon club, hit by a dumb truck. Where's the lie?

The coupon club. How did you know? You watch the show? I just guess, but I do watch the show. That's false. That happened. That happened. So you got it wrong.

What the hell? Come on, Malcolm. So you were kicked out of your coupon club and hit by a dump truck, presumably on different days. Or one really bad Wednesday. The dump truck come from me losing my nipple in a drive-by. The coupon, I moved to Indiana, a place called Plainfield, Indiana. And I wanted to fit in. Very conservative little white neighborhood, great neighbors. I was there for 15 years, and so I wanted something to do when my career wasn't taking off, so I tried to join a coupon club.

I'm a black woman from the inner city of Atlanta, and we don't do all coupons like white women. They're serious about this shit. They keep their stuff like birth certificates, like white women, they're serious about this shit. They keep their stuff like birth certificates. And so they had, you know, you had to have a booklet

and it all lined up and you went to the store on that day. Well, I'm an ex-drug dealer so I balled mine up like dope money and put a rubber band around it.

Do you put the biggest coupons on the outside? And I stuff it in my titty. Okay. And they told me I had to go. They said I wasn't organized.

That's horse shit. We was just there to buy Tide and laundry detergent. I don't know why you gotta be organized for that. And you were hit by a dump truck. I jumped on top of my kid's father's truck and he said he didn't see me. I jumped over an overpath

because he was cheating. He had a woman in the car. So he drug me and I'm on the side. Hey, I love you. But he said he didn't see me. Love will make you do crazy things. Love made me do a lot of crazy things. Was it interstate or local? A street?

It was a street. I was walking over a bridge and I looked down and he had a woman in the car. So I'm young and I'm thinking I'm Spider-Man or Wonder Woman. And I jumped on that damn hood. I land on the hood and I was like, bitch, you're cheating. And he took off. Well, I gotta say, you know, in fairness to him,

you really don't expect to get caught that way. You know? You may not think you're gonna get away with it, but when you're on the highway you think you're safe. You know? And here comes this big black woman flying like a kite.

Did you just land on the windshield? That's cool. What was the best case scenario for you when you were, like, what did you want to happen? Like, what's the goal? When you throw yourself over the overpass, you're coming down, you land on the hood of a car,

you see him, you see her. What do you want to happen? What's the best outcome for you? I want that bitch to get out the car. That's cool. That's cool. What, you think I was there for a ride? I don't know what you wanted. What, you think I was there for a ride?

I don't know what you wanted. I'm asking a question. You don't know how to cheat, do you? No. No, I don't. Too anxious. Too anxious. I guess he thought I was going to valet the truck. I'm here to park your car, sir.

All right, who wants to go next? Hi, what's your name? Alice. Alice. Hey, Alice. Here are three truths, but one's a lie. She met Jimmy Kimmel at Norman Lear's 100th birthday party. She met Jimmy Buffett at divorce court.

She met Jimmy Carter at a McDonald's. The first one. You think the first one's false? Yes. No, it's true. You're wrong. Damn. I'm very interested to understand how you met Jimmy Carter at a McDonald's. I used to work at McDonald's because I was a convicted felon and I was getting my life back together. Thank you for laughing.

Because I used to sell crack. So I'm working at this McDonald's. I'm on parole. I'm getting my life back together. But I'm doing what everybody else do. You know, I'm 50. So back in those days, McDonald's paid $3.75 an hour. You can't live off that.

So everybody had a turn of stealing out of the register. It was my register day to steal. So I'm stealing out the register and in walked these white dudes with plugs in their ears and they was like, and they looking around like, oh my God, they caught me stealing. My parole officer is somewhere. This is a true story. I hear him

say, it's clear and in walked President Jimmy Carter, but I'm a hood rat. I didn't recognize him. And so he gets to the register and I'm like, he look familiar. He probably 60 at a time, pants jacked up, nutsack hanging on one side. And so I look at him, and I said, why he look familiar?

And the boy on the grill run up to the register, Patricia, that's the president of the United States, Jimmy Carter. And my dumb ass said, nigga, I told you I knew you. And he said nothing. He placed his order. I'll never forget. He ordered a water A cup of water A cheeseburger

And a side salad And then I go in and say Inward your shit It's free You the president And I'm glad He didn't give me No money that day

Because I was stealing And I would hate to Keep his money Side salad and a burger And a water A cup of water That's a fucked up Shitty order from McDonald's.

That's not how you go to McDonald's. That's not how you get it done at McDonald's. That's not how you bring Secret Service into McDonald's and scare the hell out of me because I was stealing. Side salad and a burger. No fries? No fries. It was a water.

That's why I only got the one term. If you want to win two terms in this country, you got to get fries. I think he was too nice. Too nice for fries? Second term. If you want to win two terms in this country, you got to get fries. I think he was too nice. Too nice for fries? Second term. That's a good point. All right, last one.

Somebody else have a... Betsy right here in the front, raise your hand. Hi, Johnny. Hi, Betsy. Betsy comes every week. Hey, Betsy. Hi. Keep coming.

Which of the following isn't true? Bill Clinton inadvertently started Miss Pat's career. President Barack Obama got Miss Pat's car towed. Ronald Reagan killed Miss Pat's dog. Shit. C? No. No one got it.

The stories are too unbelievable. Let's start with this. So Bill Clinton inadvertently started your career. Yeah, I voted for Bill Clinton because he was cute. And he created a program called the Welfare to Work Program for lazy bitches like me.

So I had to go get a job. And I hated Bill Clinton after that. Because I couldn't watch the Young and the Restless anymore. And so I get a job and I became a medical assistant. That's how I got my GED. after that. Because I couldn't watch the Young and the Restless anymore. And so I get a job and I became a medical assistant. That's how I got my GED. I wouldn't have never gotten it

had he not paid me $500 to take the test. That's cool. Yeah, that was very cool. Bill Clinton, all of your heroes. Now, I find it hard to believe that Ronald Reagan killed your dog. Ronald Reagan actually killed my dog. Fuck.

So, I never get, it was the second term, and me and my dog was sitting there listening to the radio. I'm not lying. He was on the back porch. I had to wind up, and it was raining. We was so poor. And I would just say,

anybody but Ronald Reagan so I can get better lunch at school. And the radio said, your new president is Ronald Reagan. And my dog jumped out the back porch and hung himself. And I was like, no, papa. Papa. What do you mean? Democrats don't kill themselves.

Republican do. Don't do that. And my dog was like, fuck y'all. I'm out of here. Y'all can't buy no dog food. I'm tired of eating pig feets with y'all. And my dog just, he jumped out the back porch. What?

He said, what? Just jumped out. That was it. He was an old German shepherd with no side teeth. He had had it. So he just jumped out the back porch. So when it stopped raining, I went out there and got him. I was like, dang, you should have took me with you.

But I like you. You know, he black. So y'all scared to laugh because y'all white. But he over here acting like he had a black family reunion. He in the floor. He was like, this kind of blackness ain't never been on this show. He's screaming. Y'all scared to laugh.

But you know what I've been through, brother. And I never owned another dog. I just got a dog. My husband just bought a dog. And that's been over, I'm 50, so that had to be over like 35, 40 years. So my husband went out and bought three Cane Corso's and they all look like my real daddy in the face. Just sort of scrunched up. My daddy looked like a hound dog.

Sort of a scrunchie face. Yeah, and my daddy looked just like these dogs. He dead, so we can laugh. Yeah, we can laugh. The season three of the Miss Pat Show is now on BET+. It's out, the third season. Miss Pat, this was a delight. Thank you so much for being here.

I was so worried about this podcast because they said you do political stuff and I'm like, I just vote and mind my business. I don't want to get into these fights. You know, I got some Trump friends and only because my neighbor built really good fences. He was a Trump supporter

and I was not letting that go out of my life. I know how to pick my batters. Yeah, yeah. Great fences make great neighbors. They do. And I listened to all that Trump stuff as he was putting them poles in the ground. I was like, way to go. Ms. Pat, everybody, she'll be back for the rant wheel.

Thank you so much. That was so great. Thank you. Thank you. Before we get to the rant wheel, this week I had the chance to sit down with Ike Barinholtz and other stars of Hulu's new limited series,

History of the World Part II, the hysterical sequel to Mel Brooks' 1981 film. Be sure to keep an eye out on March 6th for this special bonus episode in your podcast feed. It was very fun. It was a wild conversation. I kept having to turn to the Hulu people and be like, is this okay? Like, okay.

And listen to us rant about the hottest, most timely headlines of 50 to 2,000 years ago. Also, Los Angeles, love it or leave it, will be at Dynasty Typewriter every Thursday night as our weekly residency continues. You can join. Show tickets for March through June are now on sale at crooked.com slash events.

We'll also be doing something a little different the week after next. I don't want to give it all away, but the incredible Maria Bamford will be co-hosting a special night of comedy with me on March 16th. Don't miss it. Crooked.com slash events before they sell out. All right. Now it's time for the rant wheel. We got to keep moving. All right. We got a lot of great topics on the wheel. Let's miss it. Crooked.com slash events before they sell out. All right. Now it's time for the rant wheel. We got to keep moving. All right.

We got a lot of great topics on the wheel. Let's spin it. It has landed on Scott Adams, which I believe was suggested by Cara. Oh, I was. Yeah. All right. Scott Adams. You want me to do a rant on Scott Adams?

Yeah, it's a segment. Scott Adams is a racist. Dilbert was very smart. A smart comic. He's obviously a smart person. You don't have to like it, but you can acknowledge it's a successful product he created. Yeah, Dilbert, it's good IP. It's fine. But one of my things I had ranted on on Pivot this week is he has taken what is something that is interesting and has curdled himself in such a way and so intentionally, so intentionally trying to create division and anger wearing Kanye shirts or anti-vax stuff. He's purposely trying to divide for no good reason except his own entertainment and rage. And I don't know if it's real or if it's intentional or whatever. But him being left behind by all these newspapers is precisely what he asked for and is his fault and what he deserves for what's happening here. And for him to play victim, which, of course, he's doing now, I'll never make money. He's rich as fuck, by the way. And he says, I'm never going to make money. I've been canceled. He's not been canceled. He canceled himself. He deserves every single bit that he's gotten. And the things he said have been hateful, divisive. And I don't even understand why someone would do this in this culture, given how partisan we are, to create such division.

And I don't know what to say about people like this, but there's far too many of them on the Internet and everywhere else in our lives. So there's my rant. Sound like I need to go find out who Scott Adams is. Miss Pat? Miss Pat, he's a racist. I don't follow that shit. I got other shit to do. Listen, listen. You know, you really missed a giant Dilbert phenomenon.

I, for one, really just Dilbert. Here's the thing. Look, obviously, we're all rabid Dilbert fans. We all remember when we would race home, race to the mailbox to see the latest Dilbert. Let's spin it again. It has landed on cancel culture does not exist. Liz, take it away. I just feel like everyone complaining about cancel culture is amplified.

And on a national television show or a Netflix special, J.K. Rowling is not canceled. She has more money than the fucking British royal family. If you have that much money, you can't be canceled. More are you just pissed off that you've decided to take a turn with your comedy or whatever and you've developed a new audience that sucks? I kind of feel like that's just really it. If you're still selling on Madison Square Garden, you're not canceled. You just have a

lower quality of people coming to see you. Not my problem. Maybe yours. It is a sort of, I want to be free to say this thing that I know bothers you, but I want you to say you still love me. That's sort of what the J.K. Rowling

energy is. It's similar to the Dilbert thing, which is this idea that like, hi, I'm sorry, I am used to the idea that my respect is assumed, not earned, and I'm really not interested in earning your respect, and that is deeply frustrating to me. Right. I mean mean I think one of the things about cancel culture is people

who are cancelled never shut the fuck up about it. Yes I agree with you because they cancel my chase card and I'm pissed the fuck off I'm never gonna shut up. Turn my shit back on.

I'm gonna pay you when I get it. You turn it back on. Such an important point. Let's spin it again. It has landed on LastPass. This is my topic. LastPass is a password manager. In August, LastPass announced that a hacker had managed to steal a company's source code but denied any user information had been exposed.

In December, LastPass admitted that the hack was much worse than they acknowledged at the time and that the user's encrypted and cryptographically hashed password had absolutely been compromised. encrypted and cryptographically hashed password had absolutely been compromised. Now on Monday, LastPass revealed that the same hacker was able to hack into an employee's home computer and get to an encrypted corporate vault that only four LastPass engineers had access to, among other very important things in the vault, a shared cloud storage system that held the encryption keys for customer vault backups. Hey, LastPass. What are you doing, buddy? You're the last line of defense. I've been walking around telling people to use a password manager for years

because they're awesome. They're super secure. You only have to remember one thing. They're automatically loaded into your computer. Mission Impossible figured this out in 1996. Your most sensitive information has to be on one computer in a room where the floor is lava. That's what Mission out in 1996. Your most sensitive information has to be on one computer in a room where the floor is lava.

That's what Mission Impossible in 1996 was all about. The floor is lava. And people don't talk about it that way because what Tom Hanks did, Tom Cruise did. Tom Hanks. Tom Cruise.

Tom Cruise did it. Tom Hanks does not do that kind of thing. No. That's not the energy he brings. He knows where his strengths are, as does Tom Cruise. it. Tom Hanks does not do that kind of thing. That's not the energy he brings. He knows where his strengths are, as does Tom Cruise. The point is, Mission Impossible should have been called Mission Impossible, colon, the floor is lava. It's the best example of the floor is lava.

But the point is, a lot has happened since 1996, but that hasn't changed. You're not allowed to have the most sensitive stuff accessible from someone's home computer. I know we're all going hybrid and the pandemic changed everything, but the guy with the super secret vault has to be at the office,

so the only way you can hack into that computer is you gotta put a little bit of poison in their lunch. So they start a pukey pukey, and then you have Jean Reno and the fucking Vince with a mouse, because there's also a sound thing. The point is, LastPass, I trusted you. You know what, John?

You should use 1Pass. I'm going to, 1Password, right? Yeah, 1Password. I got, you know, the fucking infrastructure. I got to switch to get away from these LastPass people that just left the barn door wide the fuck open. I think Scott Adams had racist last pass codes. Five really racist words. Yeah, that's probably right.

That's probably right. Which is another bummer about Dilbert. The thing that means so much to all of us. His tie is bent from sitting. It's super important. If Dilbert was part of your last pass, change that shit. Change it. I'm so glad I don't know what last pass is.

Or Dilbert. Or Dildo. Let's spin it again. It has landed on Gretchen's rant, which is... There should be a financed independent party in America. Okay. Sorry. Yes.

He's sitting back. Yes. I'll be quiet. Tell me why. Okay, you're sitting back. Tell me why. I'm listening. I'm going to explain to you why.

Please do. Because 43% of all Americans identify as independent. And they have no fucking where to go. Because they don't like the right and they don't like the far left. And they sometimes

see compromise, which by the way has become the ugly C word on Capitol Hill. Do you remember in the good old days where we actually got shit done? Well, we passed the CHIPS Act. We passed the infrastructure bill. Those were both bipartisan. I actually passed two bipartisan bills last year myself.

That's four. That's right. However. What's the C word? That is compromise. Oh, I thought you said compromise. Yeah, the other one. I was thinking it, Miss Pat.

You know, it was a con Dilbert. I was thinking that, Miss Pat. You know it was a con Dilbert. I was thinking that word, too. I am not the comedian, but that's why I said it. Okay, all right, thank you. I just want to make sure I follow your story. You're following me. She can't say that word. She was Miss America once.

Oh, God. You was Miss America? Let's not go there. Yes, I'll tell you later. Okay, finish your rant. Let's not go there. Well, your crown is gone. You can say it. Let's not go there. Yes, I'll tell you later. Okay, finish your rant. Let's not go there. Well, your crown is gone. You can say it.

Yeah. She can't. As I told you, my life has worked in mysterious ways. So that's back for the green room. No, come on. We need a purple party. Let's hear about it. Yes, purple party.

No, I'm not saying the purple party. I don't care what we call it. But there's a huge swath of Americans who feel like they have no voice. I'm being totally serious right now. And the thing is, there's no money behind the independent party. So nobody can win. Anyone who's won as an independent candidate has already been a candidate as a Republican or a Democrat, right? Because they're a name commodity. So people know them. So they say, oh, I'm suddenly an independent. So now they win. For somebody like myself, who might want to get into politics politics and I don't want to be in either party because I'm actually might want to find compromise. I have no money behind me to run

for office. Do you think Joe Biden does want to compromise? He just did an event with Mitch McConnell about a bridge opening in Kentucky. Here's my, here's why I'm pushing on this. My sincerely view of this is that when people call for him, we'll not allow him to do that. That's what I'm trying to tell you. We'll not allow him to compromise to the degree where we actually, yes. And like I said, I've. Well, not allow him to compromise to the degree where we actually... But he did. Yes, and like I said, I've gotten compromise done as well, but not to the degree that we need to get it done to keep this country

functioning. So let's put money behind an independent party so we can get shit done, and actually people who want... 43% of Americans agree with me, but there's no money behind it, and the problem is our American politics have turned into money. That is the problem.

Do you want a better country? Yes. I do. Well, I just, Gretchen, I appreciate that, but I'll tell you what my view of this is, and this is my problem with Andrew Yang, which I've also told him face-to-face in a

conversation that went okay. Told who? Andrew Yang, who did doing the forward party. But no, but I think sometimes when people... It has to be the right messenger, by the way. For sure it has to be the right messenger. But what my issue is, I think sometimes... But they're not open on Sundays.

That sometimes when people say what they want is a third party, sometimes what it feels like what they want is a center left politician who isn't attacked by the right. In other words, someone who will pursue the policies of what a moderate Democrat would pursue without all the pesky politics that makes them seem bad to a big chunk of the country. chunk of the country. The problem is anyone who might get within a stone's throw of having that kind of power will ultimately unleash the kind of attacks that make someone unpalatable, even if they end up having the same politics as Joe Biden or any other kind of center-left Democrat. You're getting to the point of past the primaries. My point is that because we have a primary system, if I'm an independent registered voter, I can't vote in the primaries. This is how we get the fringe people elected. is how we get the fringe people

elected. We didn't get the fringe people. We had Joe Biden versus Donald Trump. We had a center-left Democrat versus a right-wing autocrat. Joe Biden being elected was a miraculous outcome. Okay? Yes, it was. He was never expected to win. Who do you

think the radicals on the left are? I'm just curious when you say both sides, I'm just curious what that looks like for you. There are fringe people on both parties. Listen, most people would agree that the people in the center, which is moderate on both sides, have nowhere to go anymore.

You do have somewhere to go. Come on over here with us, Gretchen. I am over here with you. I am. That's the problem. Y'all keep trying to create shit we don't need. If you don't like them, just come on over here with us, Gretchen? I am over here with you. I am. That's the problem. Y'all keep trying to create shit we don't need. If you don't like them, just come over here with us. I'm trying to get shit done. That's the difference. You ain't gonna never get shit done

because these white men ain't gonna let us divide. So come on over here with us and eat some collard green, girls. Very nice. I love collard greens. That's a wonderful invitation. That's a wonderful invitation. I think you should take it. And I have gotten it done. Gretchen, that's a wonderful invitation. That's a wonderful invitation. I think you should take it. And I have gotten it done.

Which is why I'm promoting doing more of it. I'm with Liz. Country over party. Yes. I think that there is a big desire on the part of a lot of people for something that doesn't feel like it's part of this divisive, horrible, cruel system. But my honest feeling about it is that what makes right now the driving force of what makes our politics so vicious, so cutthroat is actually, I'm not saying there aren't figures on the left that aren't horrible, but for the most part, what ends up happening is even center left democratic

figures are painted with this horrible brush by a vast right-wing media ecosystem. And so my view of this is there's no way to get out of this without attacking the real cause of this polarization, which is in some part coming from the left, but in large part coming from the right. I'm not disagreeing with you on that at all. I'm not disagreeing with you at all. I'm saying that there is a huge swath of Americans that want to find compromise. And what I would say is the best way to build a politics that's less divisive is to figure out a way to convince those Americans to support center and center left Democrats. Because that is where I think the answer is. I'm with you.

And I'm also glad that you pronounced divisive divisive. And Kara, you did too. I like to say it that way. I'm educated that way. Let's spin it one more time. Thank you. Applaud Gretchen. Thank you.

Oh, yes. It has landed on whatever the fuck Miss Pat wants to rant about. My rant is not going to be about no damn politics, okay? My rant is about the cost of eggs. I went in the store the other day. The last time I went shopping, it was $1.99 for 12. It was $7. What the hell is going on with eggs?

Is chickens going to the hospital and pushing these bitches out? Because I want to know why eggs are $7 for a fucking dozen. I mean, at this point, we're going to have to eat the shell, Gresham. I mean. We're going to have to if we keep this up. I'm going to have to lay some damn eggs. Because I'm 50 and I'll still be popping eggs, but they don't develop into nothing. Be careful what state you're going to lay your eggs in.

Well, I've had a few abortions. This is my vagina. If I want to stick firecrackers in it, set this bitch on fire. Nobody. Let me tell you something. Nobody tells me what to do with my pussy. Nobody help me lift my stomach up to

shave it. So I got control of where I lay my eggs at. Miss Pat is the third up to shave it. So I got control of where I lay my eggs at. Miss Pat is the third party candidate. Nice. Thank God they don't hatch anymore. I like the don't fuck with my pussy party. Can that be the third party?

Yeah! Gretchen's in. We can all agree on that. That's the red wheel that has to be the red wheel we come back we'll end on a high note and we're back

because we all need it here it is this week's high note hey love it this is Christy from Zionsville, Indiana just outside of Indianapolis loving all of the

Indiana content on this week's show. In a very red state, there are blue spots, and it's good to hear it on a national stage. Thank you. Hey, love it. My name is Eric. I'm calling from St. Louis, Missouri, the same Missouri that recently voted to allow kids to carry guns. I'm a single parent of four kids,

and the week after the Missouri State House took that vote, a five-year-old showed up at my kid's school with a gun in her backpack. That was a moment where I figured, I've had enough, this can't go on anymore, and I decided to officially commit to running for Missouri State House in 2024. The incumbent in my district is the Speaker of the House. So I've got a tall order ahead of me. But my high note is that since I made that announcement, it's been met with overwhelmingly positive support and feedback and there are a lot of people who are feeling the way i'm feeling about missouri right now so we have a lot of hope over here in missouri keep up the good work thanks very much i love it my name is beth i'm a travel nurse from illinois but i just started a contract here in la my hangout was being able to go to the history in the making event at the new house, new house, now you house, however we're saying it. All the friends I made here so far were

working. So I went out of my comfort zone and just decided to go alone and I had no idea what to expect. But I'm so glad I did step out of my comfort zone. It was awesome. Of all the celebrities I've been hoping to see out here, you and the Crooked Crew were definitely on the top of my list. So now I just have to meet everyone else. Can't wait to hopefully see more shows while I'm not here. Thank you. Bye. Hi, Love It.

This is Deidre from Virginia. I got into a directing program for stage directing in 2019 and had to defer indefinitely because of the pandemic. And I just found out that I was accepted into the program again, and I get to go. So love you, love the show. Thank you so much. Thanks to everybody who sent us a high note tonight. If you want to leave us a message about something that gave you hope, call us at 323-538-2377. Now, before we end our show, I want to give a huge public thank you to someone who explicitly asked us not to do this. Our video producer, Norm Melkonian, who has worked on this show longer than any other person on this team. One of the first people at Crooked Media back when we were above the Largo in a rat infested

tiny place where the bathroom was in the kitchen and Pundit would lay against the door of the bathroom to let everyone know I was in there. Nar has been here from the very beginning. She's been to more Love It or Leave It shows than anyone except for me. We will miss her so, so much.

Love It or Leave It would not be what it is without her. We have been in the norms of an angel Nar, we love you, we're really gonna miss you I'm a little choked up, Nar Guys, give it up for Nar Thank you, Nar, so much For everything that you did for this show So grateful

That's our show Thank you so much to Ms. Pat, Kara Swisher, Liz Winsett And Gretchen Carlson Thank you so much There are. Pat Karaswisher, Liz Winsett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Brian Semel is our producer. And Malcolm Whitfield is our associate producer. Hallie Keeper is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Poulavi Gunalan, Peter Miller, Rebecca Kaplan, Alan Pierre, and Chandler Dean are our writers.

Bill Lance is our editor. And Kyle Seglin and Stephen Colon are our audio engineers. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Stephen Colon, are our audio engineers. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designers, Jesse McLean and Caroline Haywood, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast,

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